Connor BeatonFound of ManTalks | Empowering Men to Build Better Lives, Relationships, and Minds

The Strength Built On Suppression

21 Nov 2025 · 1 min

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Connor Beaton argues that many men are taught to equate leadership with control — control of others, outcomes, and especially emotions — and that cultural tropes (e.g., “big boys don’t cry”) encourage emotional suppression. He links this taught suppression to practical struggles men face in careers and relationships, and critiques portrayals of male leaders as disconnected or emotionless.

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Most men, myself included, were taught that leadership is about control, control of others, control of outcomes. Most dangerously, control of emotions. Men are taught that strength, especially psychological and emotional strength, comes through suppression. The majority of men that I have worked with are struggling in some way in their career to lead themselves, to lead in their relationship, because they're deploying this ineffective and maladapt way to deal with their emotions. Many men hear the tropes of big boys, don't cry and stuff it down and just deal with it. And you're so emotional, you're too sensitive. And we see examples of male leadership that seem to be disconnected and almost disassociated from any type of emotionality. And there's been this portrayal that if you're going to be a man that is a leader, you should be somewhat emotionless. You need to be able to have your emotions under control.