Connor Beaton (YouTube, July 28, 2023) explains that many men fail to quit porn because they don't accurately identify the emotional triggers (anxiety, loneliness, anger, stress, inability to unwind) that underlie urges. He advises a brief pause when urges arise—set a timer, breathe, and tune into what you're actually feeling—to distinguish surface arousal from the deeper unwanted emotion.
When it comes to quitting porn, and this is a very important one to allowing you to quitting porn, is that they don't fully understand their triggers to watching porn. And so they don't understand what they're actually feeling when the urge to watch porn arises. And so what happens the majority of the time is that you as a man are feeling something that you don't want to feel, like anxiety, nervousness, anger, frustration, loneliness, or you just can't seem to wind down. I've noticed that a lot of men watch porn at the end of the day to de stress or when they feel overwhelmed. And so you need to start to get very clear on what are the triggers that cause you to want to watch porn. It might be you're scrolling through Instagram and you see some bikini clad woman and all of a sudden you're like a little aroused. But the reality is, is that underneath that is something that you probably haven't wanted to feel. When you feel the desire to want to watch porn. Set a timer, stop, pause, breathe, and tune into what am I actually experiencing?
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
