Connor Beaton argues that men who tolerate a partner's emotional outbursts become the bad guy or lose the relationship. He cites that 70-75% of divorces are initiated by women, and says the real problem is men lacking emotional containment and boundaries. Developing emotional maturity and refusing to accept volatile behavior keeps relationships intact.
All right, team, welcome back to the ManTalks Show. Connor Beaton here. Today we're gonna be talking about why tolerating her bad behavior, her emotional outbursts, makes you inevitably become the bad guy or leads to the end of the relationship. Now, maybe some of you have noticed that in 70 to 75% of divorces, the woman initiates that divorce. And it kind of got me thinking, and maybe it got you thinking, are all of those men so terrible that the woman has to end the relationship? Are they so dysfunctional and lacking in the ability to give her what she wants or needs that she has no choice but to leave the marriage or leave the relationship? Obviously, the answer is no. That's not the case. Yes, in some relationships, there are certainly highly avoidant highly dysfunctional men who are sometimes aggressive or completely tuned out, completely shut down. Maybe they're abusive. I mean, there's many different examples of this, but that's not, from what I've seen, the rule. That is the exception. The majority of the time, these marriages aren't ending because there's somebody, there's a man that is so dysfunctional that that woman can no longer tolerate the relationship. The majority of the time, it is an ending of a relationship or a marriage with a good man who's very active in the relationship and trying to do all the right things, but missing out on one very crucial key factor. The majority of men erode their relationships with a woman, and that number one way is by allowing themselves to become completely overrun by a woman's emotions. No woman wants to know that she can emotionally steamroll you into compliance or submission. She wants to know that you can have some form of containment. You can understand how she's feeling. You can acknowledge it. You can understand what's happening in you. But if she knows that she can emotionally overpower you at any given time to either win an argument get what she wants, have you change your mind when you've said no to something, she will likely lose trust and respect for you over time. And if this happens over and over and over again, or anytime she brings her emotions out and she starts to feel something, you get reactive and frustrated and critical and harsh, or you shut down and you disconnect and you don't talk to her for days, she will feel like she has gained some type of unwanted power in the relationship that has caused you to become emotionally dysregulated. However, what they're also looking for is what I call emotional containment. And emotional containment is the knowing that you have the ability to confront or stand up to her and her women, when I really poke into it, women who've gone through divorce, women who have ended relationships, one of the biggest fundamental pieces that women will tell me time and time and time and time again is that he couldn't be with me emotionally. And when I get clear on that with them, it's those two things. He didn't care about how I felt, or he wasn't able 'to meet me emotionally,' which you'll hear a lot of women say, which basically means I was able to walk all over him emotionally. My emotions didn't have any containment from him. He never set any boundaries with them. He never said something wasn't okay. He let me go emotionally. And no woman wants to feel that way in a relationship. So you have to be in charge of your own charge. Where this all starts, and this is the most important piece, is that you as a man need to have some level of dominion, of mastery, of fluency over your own emotions. The majority of the time, women are divorcing, ending relationships with a man, is actually because he is emotionally immature. It's almost that simple. As you develop emotional maturity, women will gravitate towards you more and more because it is a rare quality that they all seek and search for. And you as a man, as you develop more emotional maturity and mastery, you will not tolerate being in a relationship with a woman who is so emotionally volatile, chaotic, or immature. It is a win-win situation for you and the women that you date or are with. So drop your thoughts and comments below. If you are watching this on YouTube or Spotify, do not forget to subscribe. And if you're on YouTube, hit the bell notification because it's the only way to get reminded of the content. Otherwise, you know, it can get lost in the algorithm. Don't forget to subscribe on Spotify. Curious to hear what all of you thought about this. And as always, let me know what other topics you would like for me to dive into. Thanks for tuning in. Connor Beaton signing off.
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