Connor Beaton talks with someone who works with men about why real listening matters. They describe a cultural reflex to dismiss men's concerns with "yeah, but," and how noticing that pattern changed their approach to deeper conversations.
what shifted for you as you've done this work and what would you say that you've come to sort of see or understand that maybe was missing before?
It was the simplest thing missing, which is just like sincere, open-hearted conversation and deep listening that's built on really trying to understand what is happening for the human being in front of you. The just the more conversations that I had and the more that men shared with me the experiences and the pain that they were carrying, I call it this yeah, but men reflex that we have societies and cultures, when there's something about the male experience that may be about the way in which men are struggling or being harmed, we have this 'yeah, but men' reflex that hits out. We're never really listening because we're passing it away. And once I started dialing into that within myself and becoming aware of that happening for me, it was so important for me in the journey of this work, acknowledging that that was there, that that was, you know, had become a part of my kind of framework.
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
