What It Takes To Be A High Value Man

All right, team, what's going on? Welcome back to the Mantalk Show. Today we're going to be talking about what is a high value man. Why is everybody talking about this? I see a lot of channels within the quote, unquote, manosphere, within this sort of like men's personal development space, talking about what it means to be a high value man. And a lot of the conversation is linked to your net worth and your social status or social standing. Now, those things aside, I'm not saying that those aren't important, but I think that that's actually a very small piece of the equation. Right. If you have made good money, you know, of course there's going to be a status and a value that is attached to that as a man. But it's because it says something about who you are and likely what you've had to do. I think there's different status, if you've had to work for that and earn that than whether, you know, if you just inherited it. But that's a bit of a different story. I don't really want to talk about that so much. I want to focus in on. On what I think a high value man actually is and what's at the core of it, and what most men look for in terms of categorizing another man as high value and what women look for in terms of categorizing a man as high value. And for me, it boils down to one very simple thing, which is, do you have a solid sense, a solid structure internally of self, leadership and authority? And can you tell yourself no? Can you follow through on the things that you've said that you want to do or are going to do? Do you have good values and a deep sense of integrity that you live on a daily basis and that you aren't willing to compromise on, those are all incredibly high value things. And the reason for that is very simple. It's because doing that is really fucking hard. Doing that and living a life that is in alignment, that's aligned with you, whoever you are, authentically, that's aligned with your values. And living with a deep sense of integrity is incredibly, incredibly difficult. Developing the discipline to say, I'm gonna wake up at 6 o' clock in the morning and, you know, do my meditation and work out every single day, that is hard, that is not easy. The majority of people will struggle to do that or to develop that one very simple habit. And for some people, they might never do it right. So if you are a man who lives his life with integrity, who speaks truthfully and follows through on what he says he's going to do. If you are a man who has a vision and a clear sense of what he wants to build or create in his relationship, in his career, in his business, with his family, all of that, and then you're pursuing that right, you're actually living in accordance with what you've said you've wanted to build, all of that is incredibly high value. It doesn't mean that you have to have attained it and made billions of dollars or millions of dollars. It simply means that there is an inherent value in you. Taking and shouldering the responsibility of living with integrity, of you not being a just an impulse monster like most of us are. I think this is one of the big challenges, personally. I think that this is the big challenge that every man is going to face. Every man at some point in his life is going to have to decide whether or not he is going to be an actual slave to his impulses or whether he will begin to master them, whether he will begin to develop systems and structures and choices and behaviors and rituals and routines in his life that are going to allow him to. To tell his impulses to fuck off. To basically say, no, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to call that girl. I'm not going to text her. I'm not going to shove that cheeseburger in my face at 10:30 at night, right? I'm not going to watch that porn at one o' clock in the morning when I should go to bed. I'm, you know, not going to hit snooze for the 10th time in the morning, I'm going to get up and put my shorts on and I'm going to go meditate and I'm going to go to the gym, right? Doing that and developing and cultivating and a personality and developing and cultivating a life that is oriented around the behaviors that you want to embody, the choices you want to embody, the values you want to embody is so goddamn hard. It is difficult. And so this is why, when we look at people like David Goggins or Jocko Willinks or why a lot of people look at people like Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson or whoever it is, what they're really looking at, and oftentimes what they're drawn to in terms of the value of that individual, is that those people embody. And those are all very different characters, right? And I realize that. And you might like some of them and hate others. It's not about that. It's about the fact that they embody that. They have developed routines, rituals, habits. They have mastered a certain level of inner impulse control, right? Impulse control that so many of us struggled to do, right? The average man that's out there will spend more time watching Netflix in a week than, you know, David Goggins will in an entire year, right? So the majority of us. And this was me, by the way, I'm not on anybody. This was me in my teens and twenties. No one had taught me to be disciplined. No one had taught me to have an inner sense of authority. No one had taught me how to make good decisions and choices. No one taught me how to live with self respect and integrity. No one had taught me how to do those things. Right? That wasn't something that was embedded into my family system growing up that I was ever taught as a young man. And so when I became free, you know, and I moved out and I moved into the world, I kind of did whatever the hell I want because I thought that that was my version of freedom, right? Because we as men, the masculine core within us, craves freedom. And every man knows that, right? Every man knows that his, one of his worst enemies is him. But it's his freaking impulses. It's his impulses to do stupid, stupid. Jumping off cliffs, you know, riding your motorcycle or driving car way too fast and recklessly eating garbage that you know isn't good for you, hanging out with people that aren't good for you. Everybody knows that, right? Every dude, every man that has experienced being a man is like, oh, yeah, I know what that's like. I know the impulse to want to, like, you know, see an electrified fence and just go touch it to see what happens, right? Like, this is why Jackass was a thing. It wasn't a group of women doing stupid shit. It was a group of dudes, right? It was a group of fricking dumbass guys saying, what stupid impulse oriented things could we do if we just let our impulses go wild? What could we do that's in every man? And so we all know, men and women know that it is incredibly, incredibly difficult for a man to reign in his impulses. The impulse to just be physically free and not have anybody tell him what to do and not have any routine and not have any discipline and to wake up whenever you want and go to sleep whenever you want, talk to whoever you want and to just have that type of freedom and to not care, right? And to not carry any responsibility whatsoever. But there is incredibly high Value for the man who has gone on the journey to rein in his impulses and to have built a framework of, of self understanding and self leadership and to have developed the capacity to say no to things that are misaligned with his values, to say no to things that are outside of his integrity, to develop the skill to pursue the things that he ultimately wants to build and be. And whether that makes you rich or not is almost irrelevant. It's just incredibly attractive. It's attractive in gaining other men's respect. Because we know, right? If you look at a man who has very real discipline in his life and he's a man who has put in the hard work to rein in his impulses of self destruction and bad behavior, you know that he has done something unbelievably significant. And for women, this is the real catch. This is why this conversation, I think, of high value men gets a lot of attention from young women in today's world. It's because for women, it's a sign of trust. It is easier to trust a man who has developed this type of self leadership and inner authority. It is easier to trust a man who has reigned in his impulses, who has sort of like locked horns with the bull or the dragon of his impulses and said, okay, I've tamed you, I understand you, I know how you work, I know where you show up, I know where you like to play, I know where you like to try and engage me. And so for women, it is much more safe, it's much easier to trust. It's much more attractive, right? There might be a certain kind of attraction to a man who is incredibly impulsive, but that's usually, you know, not to get too clinical, but that's usually a type of trauma bond, right? Women that are attracted to men that have high levels of impulse orientation, that just go and do whatever they want whenever they want, and are super prone to risk, that isn't necessarily healthy. That is a woman who is attracted to a man for almost all of the wrong reasons. And as a man, you don't necessarily want that either, right? Because that's part of your trauma. So anyway, we'll put that aside. But for women, they're attracted to this type of man, that's what high value really means to women, is it's not just about how much money you have in your bank account or your social status or your social circle. It's really about have you done the legwork, have you gone on the marathon of reining in your impulse control and have you aligned yourself as a man to your quality, core values, to your integrity, to who you say you want to be and what you actually want to build in the world. And if you can do that, and you're pursuing that, even if you only make 50 grand a year, you're going to be incredibly attractive. Right? You're going to be incredibly attractive. Why? Because she will feel safe. She will see that you have a mission. She will see that she can trust you and she will be able to do those things. Because you can trust you. Because you have done the work, you have put in the effort to do something that the majority of men in our culture haven't done. Right? They're impulse led, they're out of control. They're making decisions that go against their own values, their own morals and their own ethics. And when you can be a man who lines up his life with his morals, his ethics and his values and you live that every single day, it is hard. It is very hard to do. But it is worth it. It's worth it for you and for your family and for your friends and your community and your culture and all of the people around you benefit from it. And that's why it's valuable. So comment below. If you're watching this on YouTube, let me know your thoughts. What did I miss? What do you agree with? What do you disagree with? And if you're listening to this on the pod, on Spotify or Apple, don't forget to subscribe wherever you are and don't forget to make sure man it forward. Share this podcast with somebody that you know will enjoy it. So until next week, Connor Beaton signing off.