What To Do When Dating A Masculine Woman in Brief

All right, team, welcome back to the Man Talk Show. Connor Beaton here. And today we're gonna be talking about the keys to dating a woman who is more in her masculine. I get this question all the time from men. What do I do if my woman is more in her masculine or she can't seem to switch out of that? How do I operate? Causes some tension. And no, the answer is not just bounce. I've seen a lot of commentary on the Internet of like, oh, if a woman's more in her masculine than you know, you're beta and you know you're attracting her. Or if a woman's more in her masculine, just bounce. You know, don't even bother with that. That is a life choice that you can make. But if you're married to a woman who sometimes occupies more of a masculine energy sometimes, or you seem to attract women and date women that are more in their masculine. This isn't about fixing her or changing her or trying to solve it. I'm just going to talk about why this happens. Why are more and more women more masculine oriented? And then secondly, what do you do? How do you build a healthy, grounded, peaceful, loving, fulfilling, satisfying relationship with a woman that maybe is more in that masculine orientation? So let's dive in. First, why, why is this happening more and more and more? I think the big thing, there's three big things I want to lay out. The first one is that society has incentivized women to embody the masculine. More and more there has been this push for women to embody more masculine oriented gender norms or characteristics or traits, things like assertiveness, becoming a little bit more dominant and aggressive. Those things seem to be more and more socially acceptable for women to embody, to be more direct, to have, to be more ambitious, and they are less and less socially acceptable for a man to embody. And we can see this in our culture, right? Feminism sort of denotes this idea that in, in some ways, and I'm not knocking feminism, I'm not putting down, I'm just, just, you know, we're just talking about it here. Don't, don't bring the knives out, don't shank me. But in, in many ways, feminism is promoting equality through the vehicle of encouraging women to be more like men and men to be more like women. And that's a very basic frame, but it is a part of what a lot of feminists, feminist rhetoric and ideology promotes to women. And what ends up happening is that a lot of women end up embodying a lot of modern Women in, you know, big metropolitan areas, they end up embodying the type of man that they want to attract. So they end up becoming very much externally like the type of man that they want to attract. They're highly ambitious, they're go getters, they're very assertive, they're very direct, they go after what they want. Those types of pieces. So what do we do? Regardless of which one you found yourself in, what, what do you do? How do you actually develop a meaningful, deep, connected, fulfilling and rewarding relationship with a woman who is embodying more of her masculine. There's a couple of things that I want to lay out for you. Number one is letting go of the who's right battles. This is very common in relationships where if you are a man who is, you know, remotely masculine, you're going to get in a relationship with a woman like this and there's going to be a lot of battles, going to be a lot of conflict. And that conflict revolves around a kind of power struggle where she is not wanting to move out of this safe space of, of being in this masculine orientation. And you find yourself provoked in some way to engage in this power battle with her to try and win, to try and be right. This is the thing that you need to step out of regardless of your relationship. Stepping out of the need to win with your partner. Because when you are in a battle with your partner and you're trying to win, you are automatically in a position of, of moving out of a relational space and into an objectification space. You are moving into an adversarial form of relationship. It's me versus you that is non relational. That is not the type of relationship that is likely going to bring you long term fulfillment and joy and happiness. It's very common that when men enter into a relationship with a woman who has a good amount of masculine characteristics or masculine energy, it. For some men, it ends up becoming like an intimidation thing where they feel like they need to go into this kind of battle in order to claim the masculine role or seat in the relationship. And you see this in conflict between the two of them. You see this in how the man is engaging with her. He stops operating from a place of trying to woo her and trying to express desire for her. And he starts trying to win her, he starts trying to conquer her. So instead of battling with her for the role in the relationship, try out grounding her. The real competition, if there was one. Because we all, not all, but many of us like the tactical things that we can do. The Real quote unquote competition is can you outground her? Can you stay grounded? Not un, not unfazed or emotionally shut off or completely disconnected? But can you be less reactive? Can you actually learn to breathe and ground your nervous system? Can you stay calm, cool and collected even when she moves into this space of maybe being harsh or coming at you a little bit and having like a kind of a fierce edge? You know, I think a lot of men end up dating a woman who has a good amount of fire in her and they don't know how to be the water that's unfazed by the fire, that's unburned by the fire, and actually help the fire start to diminish a little bit and turn down. And what they end up doing is they meet the fire with more fire. And so they meet that hostility or that aggression or that assertiveness or that directness or the criticism. It causes them to be reactive and then they fight back. The last thing is evoke her emotions.

Women who are more in their masculine have a whole slew of unconscious tools and responses that are meant to deflect away from their emotional body. Again, because that's been seen as weak. They've been told that that's dangerous to share with a man. They haven't seen an example of what that looks like growing up. They've done it in the past and they've been used or abused or betrayed of those things. They or they just genuinely don't trust that a man can hear or understand what they're feeling emotionally. So you, your work, part of what you can do as you step out of this battle for the masculine seed as the relationship is to occupy the masculine territory of presence and the presence to evoke her emotions out. And so what a lot of men do is they get caught in the. The details of what their girlfriend or wife is saying. You know, it's like she starts complaining about a work situation and he says, well, how do you think you should fix that? And so a lot of men continue to push their girlfriend or wife up into their head, which is where they are in their masculine versus helping them to drop down into their body. So instead of saying, what do you think you should do? Or why do you think that happened? You can ask simple questions like what did it feel like when that happened? Or what happened inside of you when she said that? Or when your mom called you and you know, is complaining about the same thing. How did you respond? You know, how did you feel? And you start to redirect you start to redirect and hold presence for her to express herself. Express herself, not explain herself. Explaining is a very masculine oriented thing. So part of your work, and this is where it can be a great dynamic for, you know, some men, is that you can really work on moving yourself into an emotionally stable place where you develop that type of emotional stability and robustness that is genuine and real and not a result of suppression or repressing how you feel, but actually having a good relationship with your own emotions and being able to regulate your nervous system under conflict, under duress. So leave your thoughts below. Don't forget to man it forward. Maybe share this with your partner. Talk about what you liked, disliked, you know, what you'd like to implement and share with somebody that you know will enjoy it. Until next week. Connor Beaton signing off.