What To Do When She Pulls Away

What do you do when a woman pulls away? Let's just set the frame, okay? Say you're dating somebody, you really like them, maybe you've been dating them for a while, and all of a sudden you can feel her pull away and you're not really too sure why. You don't know if you've done something wrong, if she's questioning something, maybe she got scared, maybe she feels insecure, or maybe she's intimidated by you. Maybe, maybe she's playing a game, maybe she's testing you. But regardless, she's pulling away and you don't really know why. It's in these moments where a man will generally disconnect, or can not all men, obviously, but a lot of men will disconnect from their masculine core, disconnect from strength and stability, and can become needy, can lash out, can become defensive. They can really act from a place of resentment. So generally, guys do three things that cause a bit of a problem in the dynamic and make things even worse. So number one, a lot of guys will become needy, right? So they'll feel the woman pull away. They'll really like her, maybe they're really attracted to her, maybe they've enjoyed spending time with her. Or it's like, oh, that's the first woman that I could see myself, like, really dating. Or maybe they did start dating and it's like, you know, you're six months into the relationship and she starts to pull back and you're like, what the hell's going, going on? And so you allow your anxiety and your anxiousness and your stress and your worry and concern to take over, and you find yourself doom scrolling through social media, watching too much porn or smoking too much weed, trying to quell that neediness. Or you start text bombing the crap out of her. The second thing that some guys will do is they'll shut down. You know, they'll think like, screw her, she's not worth it. I knew this wasn't going to work anyway. And. And they'll go to catastrophe, right? They'll go to catastrophic thinking like, she must be sleeping with somebody else or I knew I wasn't good enough or whatever the story is anyway. And they'll kind of say, she's not worth it or I'm not going to bother. And sometimes when that woman comes back in, guys in this category will even try and punish that woman. And so they'll make things worse. They won't allow her back in. They won't even seek to understand what's gone on. And then finally the third category is the guy who's kind of nonchalant and might blind himself from the red flags, right? So he can't really see whether or not this is, like, healthy behavior, that she's just scared and nervous or something's going on in her personal life, or that there's a red flag here that she's actually acting in a really unhealthy, maybe toxic way and this is going to lead to some trouble. So not all pulling away is a bad sign. If a woman starts to pull away, it doesn't mean that it's a bad thing. It doesn't necessarily mean that you've done something wrong. It doesn't necessarily mean that it's the end of the relationship. In fact, sometimes a woman pulling away can be some really valuable information into who she is and into how she views the relationship. So you can learn a lot from a woman pulling away. So when a woman does pull away, what do you do? Right? How do you actually handle this? The first thing that I like to tell guys is start by reassessing and reaffirming. So when she pulls away, slow down, you know, take a few breaths. Don't text bomb her for 24 hours straight. Take a moment to see, am I really that into her? Or has my feelings for her been amplified because she's pulling away and really start to reassess. Is this the right dynamic for me? Am I really interested in dating her? And is this type of behavior something that I want to live with, want to tolerate, and is this something that I want to invest more into understanding? And that's the real key thing. Are you interested in investing more time, energy, and effort into understanding why she's pulling away? If the answer is yes or great, we can move on. If the answer is no, it's probably a pretty clear sign that you don't want to move on with the dynamic. The second thing that I tell guys is don't react, respond. So when you react as a man, you react from neediness, you react from anger. You react because you're embarrassed that she's pulling away or you feel hurt. And that's coming from a place of, I need you to tell me what's going on, or I don't care if and if it's from either of those polarities, you're not going to get the information that you want. She's going to see you as weak, she's going to see you as reactive, and whatever she's going through, it's going to be harder for you to get that information out. It's going to be harder for you to understand. Why is this woman actually pulling away from me? The third thing is don't chase her. Call her back in. Now this, you know, when you start to sit down and really address how you want to re engage her, the best thing that you can do is act from a place of truth and honesty so you can label, right? Rather than pursuing her and trying to get her attention or, you know, blocking her or shutting her out. And like, I don't give a crap if she ever calls me again. Address the behavior directly. So get, get on the phone with her, FaceTime her, or even just text her or voice memo her and say, hey, I noticed that I haven't heard much from you lately. I noticed that your communication has really dropped off the map. It seems like you've disappeared or you're ignoring what's going on and open the door for the conversation. Now, she might not want to step through that door, right? She might still be avoidant. She might still be, you know, scared to enter into it. And so you need to remain grounded to say, hey, listen, I'm not going to chase you here. I want to understand what you're going through, but I need you to communicate because I'm not willing to be in a relationship with somebody who peaces out like this. So have some standards and maintain those standards and communicate those standards of what you will and won't tolerate in the dynamic. The next thing is be willing to let her go. Be willing to let her go. Maybe she's not the right one. Maybe it's not the right time for her. Maybe she's has lost interest and doesn't know how to communicate it. Maybe she's seeing somebody else on the side. I mean, there's, there's literally a million different things, but we be willing to let her go. Not from a place of I'm going to teach her or from a place of anger or shame or resentment or embarrassment, but from a place of these are my standards. The type of woman that I want to date is the type of woman who, when she starts to pull away and I ask her what's going on once or twice that she communicates, she steps back in, she does the hard thing and says, you know what? I've really been feeling insecure or this is moving really quickly and I am scared that you're going to hurt me. You know, that's a very common thing for a lot of women. So she might be pulling away because she's feeling a lot. You know, she's feeling a lot of attraction, she's feeling a lot of love and admiration and her hopes are up and that can be the thing that causes her to pull away. So this brings me to the last thing, which is to remember that women want men they respect. Women want men they respect. Women want to date men they respect. They want to screw men they respect. They want to be friends with men they respect. They want to marry men that they respect. They women want to be with men that they respect. So when you lash out or allow yourself to go into this very ungrounded, needy, anxious place, or you become bitter and resentful, she will lose respect for you regardless of what her intentions are, right? Whether she's pulling away because she's scared she's going to get hurt or she really, really likes you and she's just like, I don't know what to do with this and I don't want to mess this up. Or she's pulling away because she's testing you or she's playing some sort of a game. Regardless of her motives are if you act in a way that is disrespectful for you, for yourself as a man, she'll feel that and it'll cause trust to be diminished in that experience. So the best thing that you can do for yourself, for the relationship is to act in respect. And when you do that, you'll very clearly get a sign of whether or not she's ready for a man who respects himself and she'll act accordingly to that. So be true to you. Be true to you no matter what, and handle that situation with self respect and with dignity. So reassess and reaffirm. Label the behavior. Be willing to let her go if that's necessary, not from a place of, you know, trying to hurt her or get back at her. Remember that women want men that they respect and don't chase. Call her in. Call her in. So comment below, let me know what you really resonated with about this video. Maybe where you've gone wrong in the past, maybe what you're working on right now in your relationship or in your dating life. And tell me if you think that there's anything that I missed. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button, hit the like button. If you enjoyed this video, maybe share it with somebody that you know could use the insight and I'll see you next week.