Connor BeatonFound of ManTalks | Empowering Men to Build Better Lives, Relationships, and Minds

What Women Do To Emasculate Men

6 Oct 2023 · 1 min

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Connor Beaton argues that many men who open up emotionally in relationships have their feelings used against them later (e.g., during conflicts), which teaches them it is unsafe to be vulnerable. He describes relational consequences: men feel emasculated, partners become reactive/defensive, shut down, or disconnect, and women may underestimate or lack the skill to receive male emotion. The segment frames a communication problem (vulnerability received poorly) as a driver of disconnection.

Chapters

I have heard from a lot of men that when they open up and be vulnerable with the woman that they're with, that information, their feelings, their emotions, you know, what they're going through is used against them. Maybe not right there in that moment, but maybe the next day in a conflict. And so what can happen relationally is that man will feel emasculated in the sense that he will learn very quickly that it's not safe for him or trusting of him to open up to you. The reality is that for a lot of guys, they have opened up in a relationship and been burned because the women that they were with couldn't receive that man's emotion. They couldn't have a dialogue about it. They just got reactive, they got frustrated, they got defensive. You know, they shut down, they disconnected, they lost interest, they lost connection to him. And so the reality is is that a lot of women, I think, underestimate that they might not actually know how to receive or be.