Why Entitled Women Finish Last - The Ugly Stepsister Problem in Brief

All right, men, welcome back to the Man Talk Show. I am Connor Beaton and today we're going to be talking about what I have dubbed the ugly stepsister problem. One of the main issues with modern dating and one of the things that you as a man should absolutely steer clear from. Now, for the sake of this, I'm going to be using a fairy tale or a myth to sort of portray what I am talking about. Largely because sometimes in myth and fairy tale, they hold these tremendous truths and about us as men or women, what we want from relationships, truths about fundamental reality that are much larger than we can put into a single sentence and they're baked into stories. I like to think of myths oftentimes as a zip file that you can double click on and it'll open up a huge data packet that helps you to understand something that maybe wasn't so clear before. So let's look at Cinderella as an example. Cinderella has ugly stepsisters, but Cinderella is the embodiment of the princess. She is the embodiment of the woman that men really want and desire. Even though she is not a actual princess on paper, Cinderella is humble, she has good values, she is nurturing, she is kind, she's not a noble, she's not born into anything that's necessarily special. She is a common girl with an extraordinarily good heart. And while her ugly stepsisters, not necessarily ugly in looks or ugly in their physical body, but actually ugly in character and personality, are very, very different. You see, Cinderella's stepsisters are the embodiment of the entitled woman. So in modern society and times, there are some aspects of fe. There are wounded mothers and other women on social media that are continuing to push a narrative to women that says, never ever settle. He should just love you no matter what. You should be able to do and say whatever it is that you want. And he should have to deal with it and figure it out. He should have to man up and blah, blah, blah, blah. Don't ever lower your expectations, regardless of whether or not they are connected to any type of reality. And this causes a kind of psychological vacuum where the ugly stepsisters never have to self reflect. They never have to look at whether or not there is something within them that is causing them to not get the results that they want with men. The other thing about the ugly stepsisters in the story is that they are embodied. They are the embodiment of a deeply insecure, pride filled feminine energy, right? So you can kind of think of this as like the Shadow of the feminine, the shadow of the masculine is tyrannical abuse of power, hyper dominant, rigid, unwavering, unlistening. Whereas the shadow of the feminine is this sort of insecure, pride filled, overly entitled, overly expecting. You see the ugly stepsisters mistreating Cinderella, you know, setting her on all these errands, putting her down verbally, sort of castigating her and treating her in a way that is significantly less than them. And she sort of, you know, grins and bears it. She kind of goes through the motions, but she doesn't become jaded and bitter. She doesn't become jaded and bitter towards her father for putting her in this situation. She doesn't become spiteful and hateful towards her ugly stepsisters. Obviously, she's got some animosity with the stepmother, but it doesn't cause. Cause her to react in such a way where she tries to dismantle them or attack them or take them down. She has the humility and the grace of a kind of like commonplace femininity to not expect that she's entitled to more than what she has. And this is what plays in with the prince, right? She makes this big wish, she goes to this big ball. She's not expecting or trying to go and wince. Win Prince Charming, who, by the way, let's pause on Prince Charming. Prince Charming is the archetype of the ideal man for the feminine psyche, right? He has status, he is sort of out of reach. He's in the castle far, far away. He's good looking, he's charming, right? His name is Prince Charming, right? He's got all of the kind of elements and characteristics. He's kind, he's grounded. He's not a warmongering prince. He's not portrayed as that. He's not portrayed as this monst. He is in some ways the representation of the sort of quote unquote, perfect archetype of a man who has all of the elements of what the feminine psyche would normally look for. Now, obviously, this fairy tale plays out and Prince Charming falls in love with Cinderella and not the ugly stepsisters. And when you read the book or you watch the movie, what you see is that when Prince Charming has the interaction with the ugly stepsisters, he's kind of repulsed. Again, not because of their looks, but because of the quality of their character. Again, the prince sort of embodies a man who has the intelligence to see through and has the ability to see through the character of people, to see past the beauty, to see past the class level of the woman. So the fairy tale does a very good job of showing and the myth does a very good job of showing how the, the wicked stepmother, which again is society. These sort of commonplace narratives, the stuff that you see on social media is trying to keep the truth away from the ideal men and trying to keep the truth of what men actually want, which is the kind, caring, nurturing woman who isn't coming from this hyper entitled place. And the last thing I'll say is that the stepsisters are kind of push the prince away because of this combination of deep entitlement and the, the fighting and the kind of expectation that they should be the ones that are chosen despite their, their clear sort of like lack being, being not, I don't want to say valuable, but their, their clear lack of character that causes them to be diminished in the prince's eyes. And so Cinderella in this story is the real archetype of the princess, regardless of her social status, regardless of her nobility, regardless of the clothes she wears. And that's the truth in every fairy tale. And so that's what men are really looking for. And I think when I look at the, the conversation around modern dating and so many of the gripes that I see that men have with women or with modern dating, is that what they're really talking about is they feel like they're inundated with ugly stepsisters and that there's a lack of Cinderellas. And in part that's because modern culture and society is perpetuating the narratives that lead to the birth of the ugly stepsisters. Right again, regardless of, you know, actual physical beauty, etc, but leads this sort of degradation and the degrading of a woman's character, of her connection to her own values, of her connection to her own sense of morals and ethics. And that is a huge part of what men in my opinion. And you guys can tell me if I am on the money or not in the comments, as you always do if you're watching this on YouTube. But for the most part, men want to be with women that they have a certain level of reverence for, that they have a certain level of admiration for. Share your thoughts below. As always, don't forget to man it forward. And until next week, this is Connor Beaton signing off.