Why Most Men Are Invisible to Women And How to Fix It - in Brief

All right, men, welcome back to the Man Talk Show. Practical tools for you to train to be a better man. This is not therapy. This is training the tools that you need to succeed in love and life and business. Today we're going to be talking about most men at some point will feel invisible to women. We're going to talk about why that is. Why are most men invisible to the majority of women? There's a small percentage of men that aren't. And then how do you go about fixing that? Why is this in place and what do you do about it? Here's the brutal truth. In the dating marketplace, most men feel or just aren't don't even exist to most women. But the idea here is that men and women operate in an economic like system when it comes to attraction. And in that system, most men are, are source or at least they feel like they are products that can't get noticed. They're shoved to the back of the shelf, they're accumulating dust. They can't get noticed on the dating apps in the coffee shop, you know, at the gym, at the grocery store. For the life of them, they just can't get a woman's attention. And it's very frustrating. I remember having a conversation with a good friend of mine who's actually quite successful. He's, you know, largely kind of, you know, dresses very well. I remember talking to him years ago and he's like, man, I just cannot get a woman's attention on these dating apps. It is so frustrating. So today I'm going to break down exactly why that happens and more importantly, how you can begin to reposition yourself so that you are on the front display of the line that women want to interact with. Your storefront is your presentation. And honestly, the first 30 seconds that a woman sees you, what they're looking at is you, your grooming, your style. That's kind of like your window display, your energy, your posture, what vibe you're giving off and then the social proof, you know, who are you with? What are the lifestyle signals of what you're portraying, especially on the dating apps. But this plays in, in marriages and relationships as well. If these things aren't in order, you're grooming a little bit of style, how you hold yourself, how you carry yourself, your posture, your energy, you know, the social proof, the men that you surround yourself with your lifestyle. What does your lifestyle look like? You know, do you, do you have a life? Those are all markers of status, of value to women. And for a lot of men, you know, you will start to come into your sort of peak value, if we want to put it like that, in your 30s and 40s, if you invest in these assets, that will compound over time. So things like your income, things like your physique, your level of confidence and self perception, your social network is actually an extremely underrated data point that women look for. I often say to men that one of the things that women look at is they date men who have good men around them. You know, if, if they're looking at a guy and they're like, oh, he's a great guy, but then he's surrounded by a whole, you know, for lack of a better term, a whole bunch of losers, that is going to de escalate her, her perceived value in you. And same would probably be true for you, right, if you were dating a woman, but her girlfriends were just like complete disasters, you'd be like, there's something off here, there's something going on. So your social network is really important. So here are some actionable steps to become more visible to women. Regardless of whether you're single and dating or you are in a relationship, these steps will help you to be, to get more visibility from the women that are in your life. So number one, audit your storefront. Audit your storefront. Really get a clear estimation of, you know, how you dress yourself, how you, how you present yourself, do you shave on a regular basis? Build a little bit of scarcity into your interactions. And this is the notion that there's affection is earned. Affection is earned. A lot of times, especially nice guys, you anxious, attached men, you know, the people pleasers, you are flooding women with attention. What that means is make sure that your availability is slightly limited. Make sure that you are doing things in your life so that when you start to date or even when you're married, that you have other things going on in your life. Next, there's only two more pieces, is improve your physical presence. Now, this isn't just about getting jacked, right? This is about how you carry yourself as a man, how you walk into a room, how you stand, how you sit, you know, being able to occupy a little bit of space, being aware of your posture, all of that will signal confidence when you speak. And a lot of men have become sort of collapsed in and they don't occupy any space, any territory when they are communicating, when they're sitting across from a woman. And for a large part, that can be something that, you know, you don't occupy your own space. And so that doesn't feel good for you. Lastly, learn to signal and not sell. Learn to signal and not sell. Some of you guys in marriages, in your relationships, and in dating, you are trying to sell yourself to that woman. So you don't need to convince someone of your value. You just demonstrate it by living your life. So show and don't tell, right? A photo of you hiking in Patagonia or, you know, in the Catskills or in Colorado, the Rocky Mountains says so much more than the words I'm adventurous in your bio. It's about becoming the man that you were meant to be. Not to get her, but so that you get yourself, that you have connected deeply with who you are. And as you do that, as you do that work, it will draw more women in. Because in the marketplace right now, invisibility is, is a bit of a choice. Invisibility is something that we choose because we don't do the things that we need to do in order to become the man that you know you're capable of being. So share, enjoy. Man it forward. Let me know what your thoughts are on this video. Until next week, Connor Beaton signing off.