Women are Delusional and Men are Disenfranchised

Whether you are single, dating in a relationship, situationship, married wherever you are on the relationship spectrum, what most people are saying is that relationships have gotten a lot harder. Dating has gotten a lot harder. Maintaining a relationship has gotten a lot harder. Now, of course, we could point our finger at the dating apps, which certainly aren't helping, and we could talk about that endlessly. The system that people are operating in, the inflation, the economy, the court systems, the legality of marriage, all play a role. But in all of those things, and behind all those things, and in all relationships, there are people. Let's start with you, ladies. Women are delusional. And there are three things that are making women delusional within the current dating and relationship world that I think everybody should be aware of. And men, I'm going to address you next. You're not off the hook. First and foremost, ladies, your expectations. We need to talk about your expectations. Now. I know some women are going to be immediately in the comments about this one. Men just need to rise up. Men need to be better and men need to da, da, da, da. I get it. Sometimes that is the case. But the reality is that this needs to be said. The man that some women expect to date doesn't exist outside of her head. Okay? The man that some of you expect to date doesn't exist in the world. He only exists in your head. Your expectations are the reason that you can't find a man that you could actually be in relationship with because you are married and in love with the image of the man that you have either created in your head or think that you are entitled to. And that's happening for a number of reasons. Right? We could talk about how Disney has sort of sold and indoctrinated women into this Prince Charming notion that there's this utopian man out there for each and every single one of you who is perfect and never does anything wrong and never loses his temper and just really isn't a human being. Right? He's a cartoon character. And I don't mean that in a derogatory sense. I'm not trying to degrade you. I'm not saying that you don't deserve an exceptional love. I'm not even saying that you don't deserve an exceptional relationship or man who elevates your life that you admire, that you respect. I hope that and wish that for all of you, which is why I'm having this conversation. So Disney and Modern Commentary has sold an image of men, of a man to women that is unrealistic. And that man is Usually an Omni Man, I call him Omni Man. And Omni man is the man who, who can do everything all the time, the best and better than any other man. It's an impossible role for men to fill, right? So there's a lot of women that. And, you know, it went viral, the looking for a guy in finance, six, five, blue eyes, whatever the hell the thing was, right? And while that may have been a joke for some women, that is literally the thing they have dialed in their selection preference to. To be such a narrow bandwidth that they ignore the men that they would actually be fulfilled, satiated, satisfied by deeply in love with. Because their criteria and their list, your list and your criteria matters more than the man who is in front of you. You miss out on the genuine, loving, lovable man that you could fall in love with in front of you because he doesn't meet the criteria that you laid out before you met him. Now, I think that that's part of the expectations, but the other part is that for the most part, women's mating strategy or selection strategy has not evolved with the current state of the world, right? Women generally look for you. Ladies generally look for men who are up and to the right. You want to date men who are up and to the right, meaning that they have more financial stability or ability to procure goods, services, finances, or they have some type of elevated status. And as women have risen economically, as women have risen in status, the selection preferences hasn't changed. And so a lot of you are out there making more money than the majority of men. You have more social status, more sort of economic status than the men that are out there. And yet your expectations of who you are going to date are still the same. But the dating pool that exists within those selection preferences is so astronomically small. Now, men, let's talk to you because men are disenfranchised. And again, I'm just going to say this right out of the gates. Neither one is better or worse, right? This is a equal 100%, 100% contribution to the Gong show of modern relationships and modern dating, okay? Women being delusional and men being disenfranchised. One's not better than the other, one's not worse than the other. They are equally contributing to a systemic problem that is hurting people in getting the relationships and the love that they ultimately want. So let's talk to you guys. Men are disenfranchised. Why are you disenfranchised? Well, one of the things that I hear a lot as soon as this comes up is, well, of course men are disenfranchised. Women are X, right? Women are X. I'm disenfranchised because women are this way. They want too much. They're not loyal. All, you know, all. So many women are jacked up on antidepressants. Or so many women aren't taking care of themselves and they're overweight. Or so many women just hate men. There's no more faithful, good, loyal women left. And so men are disenfranchised because they have bought into this notion that they can't get a relationship because there's something wrong with women. So you guys have bought into this notion. Men, so many of you have bought into this sort of. Women are the problem. Women are the problem. It's not me. It's not because maybe I'm awkward. It's not because maybe I haven't put the effort in to dress myself well or develop more social skills or, you know, turn myself into. Or I'm in the process of turning myself into the best version of myself that would be the most attractive to women. No, you've bought into this bullshit notion that you can't get a woman because there's something wrong with women and you're not willing to look at yourself as maybe part of the contributing problem and factor to the fact that you are single. Women keep breaking up with you. You can't hold down a relationship. You find a relationship with women that you don't actually like, and you stay in that you're at the epicenter of the issue. And the notion that it's women's fault is part of the problem. It's part of the problem that you are disenfranchised. The second thing, the second reason why men are disenfranchised. So I'm saying that straight out the gates, because I can hear, and I've seen all of the comments on YouTube and all the comments on Instagram of men being like, yeah, of course I'm disenfranchised, because the legal system around divorce is just such garbage and men are blah, blah, blah. Put all that aside for a moment, okay? It's not that I disagree with that. It's that you can make the things that are out of your control the reason why you don't have the love life that you want all day long and you're just gonna stay miserable, okay? So let's put those things out of the way. Let's stop blaming women and let's pull back to your own sense of sovereignty and authority. You are not a victim to women. But that brings me to reason number two. Men are disenfranchised with women because of the same damn thing that has existed within men for thousands of years since the dawn of time, which is men's unconscious fear of women. Men at a fundamental level are afraid of women and can't admit it. Most of you guys are struggling to make relationships work because you're afraid of rejection. You're afraid of not being picked. You're afraid of how to handle a woman who is clear and resolute about what she wants or she's boundaried. You are afraid of her emotional and maybe even sensual potency, right? You say that she's too much. You say that she's whatever it is that you are complaining about. But you are afraid of women. You are afraid of how they act or respond. Men are also afraid of getting lost or being swallowed up by a woman. I'm afraid that I'll get lost when I fall in love. I'm afraid that I'll lose my sense of independency. I'm afraid that I'll lose my sovereignty, right? We as men, part of the role that allows for the masculine feminine dance to happen is that you step into and cultivate and curate a sense of risk and adversity in the mating and dating pursuit. The act of pursuing a relationship is the cultivation of your antifragility, for lack of a better term, it's the cultivation of you saying, I'm going to take a risk of getting rejected, of getting turned down, of getting hurt, of putting myself out there, of being real and letting somebody really know who I am and maybe having that person not choose me. Right? In the act of dating and relationships, you are developing a sense of having resiliency in the face of adversity, being able to get turned down by a woman, being able to have an awkward conversation. And so many men have bought into this notion that what women want is a soft, cuddly man and is completely bs. And so a lot of men are waiting for women to make the first step. They're afraid of, you know, a me too thing of like, oh, I asked her out and you know, she went online and, you know, complained that I was trying to pick her up in a coffee shop. But this has caused so many of you to stop approaching, to stop talking to women, to taking risks with the women, even the women that you date. And it has caused so many of you to become complacent in the relationship itself. Oh, I got her. I don't have to work anymore, right? I got her. I don't have to take risks anymore. I don't have to face challenges anymore. I don't want to deal with this bs. Oh, she's complaining. She's being critical. I don't want to deal with this bs. I don't want to face the adversity that sometimes comes along with a real intimate relationship that can sometimes go through challenges and hardship. So if all of that hit home, wherever you are, whether you agreed with me or not, whether you hate what I said or not, I'm curious to hear your thoughts. Share it in the comments below. If you're watching this on YouTube, man it forward. Share this episode with you with somebody that you know would enjoy it. Maybe this is something that you listen to with your partner and have an open dialogue about or share with somebody that you're, you know, you've started dating and have a conversation about. But until next week, this is Connor Beaton signing off.

Sam.