A short YouTube monologue by Connor Beaton arguing that modern dating is harder because of people’s mindsets. He claims many women are "delusional" about relationships because unrealistic expectations—imagined ideal partners and comparisons—prevent them from committing to real partners. He also argues many men are "disenfranchised" because they externalize blame onto women instead of cultivating resilience: taking risks, facing rejection, developing social/communication skills, and sustaining effort in relationships. The video ends with an invitation to discuss in the comments and share.
Foreign.
Whether you are single, dating in a relationship, situationship, married, wherever you are on the relationship spectrum, what most people are saying is that relationships have gotten a lot harder. Dating has gotten a lot harder. Maintaining a relationship has gotten a lot harder. Now, of course, we could point our finger at the dating apps, which certainly aren't helping, and we could talk about that endlessly. The system that people are operating in, the inflation, the economy, the court systems, the legality of marriage, all play a role. But in all of those things, and behind all those things, and in all relationships, there are people. Let's start with you, ladies. Women are delusional. And there are three things that are making women delusional within the current dating and relationship world that I think everybody should be aware of. And men, I'm going to address you next. You're not off the hook. First and foremost, ladies, your expectations. We need to talk about your expectations. Now. I know some women are going to be immediately in the comments about this one. Men just need to rise up. Men need to be better, and men need to da, da, da, da, da, da. I get it sometimes that is the case. But the reality is, is that this needs to be said. The man that some women expect to date doesn't exist outside of her head, okay? The man that some of you expect to date doesn't exist in the world. He only exists in your head. Your expectations are the reason that you can't find a man that you could actually be in relationship with because you are married and in love with the image of the man that you have either created in your head or think that you are entitled to. So expectations are the enemy of a woman's relationship, okay? They feed into the delusion. Again, I'm not saying anything about you personally. I'm not attacking you personally. I'm saying that some of the expectations that you have bought into are not helping your dating life, your relationship life, because maybe you're in a relationship with an exceptional man, but every time one of his flaws comes up, you start to think about the dude that you saw on Tinder before, the guys before you guys met, right? Or the guy that you came into contact with at work, you know, the owner's son or whatever it is, right? And so you start to compare the man that you are with or the man that you're dating to the expectations, the image, or who you think society has sold to you. Men are disenfranchised. Why are you disenfranchised? Well, one of the things that I hear a lot as soon as this comes up is, well, of course men are disenfranchised. Women are X, right? Women are X. I'm disenfranchised because women are this way. They want too much. They're not loyal. All, you know, all. So many women are jacked up on antidepressants or so many women aren't taking care of themselves and they're overweight. Or so many women just hate men. There's no more faithful, good, loyal women left. And so men are disenfranchised because they have bought into this notion that they can't get a relationship because there's something wrong with women. So you guys have bought into this notion. Men, so many of you have bought into this sort of. Women are the problem. Women are the problem. It's not me. It's not because maybe I'm awkward. It's not because maybe I haven't put the effort in to dress myself well or develop more social skills or, you know, turn myself into. Or I'm in the process of turning myself into the best version of myself that would be the most attractive to women. No, you've bought into this bullshit notion that you can't get a woman because there's something wrong with women and you're not willing to look at yourself as maybe part of the contributing problem and factor to the fact that you are single. Women keep breaking up with you. You can't hold down a relationship. You find a relationship with women that you don't actually like and you stay in that. You're at the epicenter of the issue. And the notion that it's women's fault is part of the problem. We, as men, part of the role that allows for the masculine feminine dance to happen is that you step into and cultivate and curate a sense of risk and adversity in the mating and dating pursuit. The act of pursuing a relationship is the cultivation of your antifragility, for lack of a better term. It's the cultivation of you saying, I'm going to take a risk of getting rejected, of getting turned down, of getting hurt, of putting myself out there, of being real and letting somebody really know who I am and maybe having that person not choose me. Right in the act of dating and relationships, you are developing a sense of having resiliency in the face of adversity, being able to get turned down by a woman, being able to have an awkward conversation. And so many men have bought into this notion that what women want is a soft, cuddly man and is completely bs. And so a lot of men are waiting for women to make the first step. They're afraid of, you know, a me too thing of like, oh, I asked her out and you know, she went online and, you know, complained that I was trying to pick her up in a coffee shop. But this has caused so many of you to stop approaching, to stop talking to women, to taking risks with the women, even the women that you date. And it has caused so many of you to become complacent in the relationship itself. Oh, I got her. I don't have to work anymore. Right, I got her. I don't have to take risks anymore. I don't have to face challenges anymore. I don't want to deal with this bs. Oh, she's complaining, she's being critical. I don't want to deal with this bs. I don't want to face the adversity that sometimes comes along with a real intimate relationship that can sometimes go through challenges and hardship. Being so fragile that you can't approach women, that you can't have any type of conflict with women, that you can't talk about your needs or your wants or your sexual desires with women is part of the problem. It's the reason why you are disenfranchised with dating because you are not taking a risk, because you're not willing to face adversity. And you need to put yourself in the arena. You need to become more resilient, more relationally resilient, more sexually resilient, more communication based resilient. So if all of that hit home, wherever you are, whether you agreed with me or not, whether you hate what I said or not, I'm curious to hear your thoughts. Share it in the comments below. If you're watching this on YouTube, man it forward. Share this episode with you, with somebody that you know would enjoy it. Maybe this is something that you listen to with your partner and have an open dialogue about or share with somebody that you're, you know, you've started dating and have a conversation about. But until next week, this is Connor Beaton signing off.
