Connor Beaton argues that self-worth is built in childhood through attachment with caregivers. When a child's needs are met with punishment or shame instead of care, they internalize the belief that something is wrong with them. Repairing these early wounds is essential for men struggling with self-worth.
And the real reason why so many men struggle to develop self-worth is because it is attachment work. There's no way around it. A huge piece of what will have created your sense of self-worth is your early attachment to your caregivers. So the simple version of this is that what creates secure attachment is also what's going to create the foundation of your self-worth. Now, if either of those two things are interrupted, it is going to start to chip away at your self-worth. So what ends up happening is that when you ask for something that you need, when you want something as a kid and your parents meet that need with punishment, with criticism, with shame, as a child, that is internalized as something's wrong with me.
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
