Mindset Strategies for Trauma Survivors

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You'Re listening to the Think Unbroken Podcast and I'm your host, Michael Unbroken. I'm an author, speaker, coach and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma and abuse. In this podcast, you will learn how to transform your trauma into triumph, turn breakdowns into breakthroughs, and go from victim to being the hero of your own story. You can learn more@thinkunbrokenpodcast.com and of course, check us out on Apple Podcasts and Spotify at Think Unbroken Podcast. Hey, what's up Unbroken Nation? Michael Unbroken here, author, speaker, coach and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma. Hope you're doing well. Wherever you are in the world today, I'm going to come to you and share something that honestly is kind of a game changer for me and my life and the way that I think and the way I have thought and all of the moments in time that have led up to this conversation. And that is this idea of change. You know, we are often very conflicted as trauma survivors of change and that comes from this place, at least for me. And I'll share my insights and my opinions because that's my podcast and that's what I do and that's why you listen. And that's why, hopefully you want the truth about why I think the way I think about things. And change is scary, but change starts with first acknowledging. And acknowledging is about coming to this place in our lives where we can actually look at and assess the world that we live in, the world that we have effectively created or been put into, and understanding when there is something that is in our way, be it a roadblock, a relationship, a friendship, a business decision, a life decision, you know, whatever that thing may be, starting to create a framework to how we move through it. You see, change is often terrifying because on the other side of it, we don't know what's going to happen. But change only actually happens when you make change happen. You've heard me say this a million times, but how do you really make change happen? This is something I'm constantly juggling and thinking about and assessing and creating a framework around so that I can have these granular, precise and incremental movements towards change. It starts with acknowledgment, right? The first thing that we do when we have to create change in our life is to acknowledge, you know, maybe we need to create change. Many of the people who come into my coaching programs start at that place where they look at their life and they say, I need to change. Many people who step into the six week in depth program have looked at their life and say, I need change. But before that action comes in, they've thought about it. You guys hear me all the time say, mindset plus action equals self actualization. And that change only happens when we make change happen. But the precursor for all of that is this idea and this understanding that what we think becomes what we speak. Mindset is everything. What we think becomes what we speak, and what we speak become our actions, and our actions become our reality. And what that means is it's this cycle of momentum that begins with the words that we say to ourself. We are the stories that we say to ourselves. We are the stories we tell ourselves. And so if we tell ourselves a certain story, then when we reflect and I look at our actions that we have in the world, then it would hold true that those stories in fact now have become our reality. Now, I know that sounds complex, but it's really not. And why is it not? Because the things that we think about become the things that we move towards and create energy around and thus have momentum with. And so the further that you go into this place of thought, the more that you notice that that is the way that you act in the world and when you sit in it and you get to this place of self actualization, which means to realize who you are, understand the truth of your power, your potential, your ability, who it is that you become through your actions because of your thought, then what you understand is that everything begins with the catalyst of what you think. Now if you're thinking constantly, I'm not good enough. I'm not strong enough. I'm not capable enough. I'm a self sabotager. I'm a liar. I'm a cheater, I'm a thief. I'm a not good enough to breathe. Whatever that thing is, we've had them all. And look, and I'll be honest with you, everyone has negative thoughts. I have negative thoughts. Every client I work with has negative thoughts. People have been in my programs for six weeks or 16 weeks or six years. I don't have them by that six years. But you get my point. The people who are in my programs, they have those thoughts. The people who are leaders in everything have their thoughts. My own coaches and mentors have those thoughts. Everyone at a time or another will succumb to those thoughts, those negative things, those negative inklings. I don't want to say things because of thoughts. These momentary chasms in our process that suck us in. And suddenly we're in that place we call the vortex, right? You're not showing up for yourself. You're procrastinating. You're not making the hard choices. You're in that autonomic behavior, that self soothing because you've been thinking about it. One little misstep often derails the whole ship. Where in fact that actually should be utilized and leveraged as a data point so that when you do misstep, let's say this, let's say you're. You're on the road, you're driving and you have a gps. And that GPS is telling you go straight. But for whatever reason, you're on your way. And you come across this crossroads and you turn left. Well, that's going to happen. You're going to turn left. Sometimes it's just going to happen. It's human nature. You're going to make a mistake. You're going to do something outside of your character. You're going to do something even outside of your own values, your wants, your needs, your interests, your boundaries. It's gonna happen because we're humans, we up, right? It happens. First off, it's okay. But as you're on this path and you're driving and you're eventually, I promise you, on a long enough timeline, going to come past this impasse again, this, this, this junction in the road and you're going to have to look at it and say, I know I'm supposed to go straight. Hey, Unbroken Nation. We'll be right back to the show, but I wanted to let you know that you can grab a copy of my first book, Think Unbroken Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma for free. If you go to book.thinkunbroken. com you can download the PDF ebook version of the book and get everything that I know about the baseline of healing trauma for free. Download it to your email right now. Just go to book.thinkunbroken.com to download your copy of Think Unbroken Understanding Overcoming Childhood trauma for a PDF for your phone. Again, that is book.thinkunbroken.com and then you decide to go straight as opposed to going left. That's choice and that's action. And that leads you to a different outcome because you take that data point of what you've just understood this Black Friday get six months free when you move your WordPress sites to Kinsta Enjoy faster load times, no stress when traffic spikes, and hosting you can actually count on. We're G2's number one rated host for WordPress for a reason. Visit kinsta.com bf that's K I-N-S-T.com bf don't miss out. Offer ends December 2nd.

It's true that some things change as we get older. But if you're a woman over 40 and you're dealing with insomnia, brain fog, moodiness and weight gain, you don't have to accept it as just another part of aging. And with MITI Health, you can get help and stop pushing through it alone. The experts at MITI understand that all these symptoms can be connected to the hormonal changes that happen around menopause. And MITI can help you feel more like yourself. Again, many healthcare providers aren't trained to treat or even recognize menopause symptoms. MITI clinicians are menopause experts. They're dedicated to providing safe, effective, FDA approved solutions for dozens of hormonal symptoms, not just hot flashes. Most importantly, they're covered by insurance. 91% of MITI patients get relief from symptoms within just two months. You deserve to feel great. Book your virtual visit today@joinmidi.com that's join M I D I.com and you look.

At that direction and you go, I'm going straight. I know what left does. I already did that. And you pull that and that becomes an action because you've learned through that. And so this place that we often leverage as failure, which leads us into this cycle, which steps us into the vortex, which puts us in a position where what we're thinking becomes what we're speaking, and what we're speaking, what we do, and what we do becomes our reality. Well, then suddenly you start to have an understanding that sometimes you have to hit the pause button and acknowledge, okay, I made a misstep. Life's a little to the left right now. I feel a little off. I'm not showing up for myself. I'm not doing the things that I said I was going to do. I'm not going to the gym, I'm not eating well, I'm not moving my body. I'm not being kind to myself. And you can do this with grace, you can do this with compassion, you can do this with kindness, but you can also be aggressive at the same time and tell yourself that you are going to move forward. And then you slowly start to pull yourself out of that. Because again, mindset plus action becomes self actualization. And so you have to continue to reinforce this idea that you are in fact good enough, strong enough, capable enough, you are willing and determined and able, you are capable and deserving. You are all the things that you want to be. And the more that you tell yourself that, the more that you will move towards that through the actions and the choices that you take in your day to day life, through showing up for yourself, through doing the hard things, through moving through the discomfort to create change. And then on the other side of it, you'll sit and you'll pause and you'll look and you'll breathe and you'll assess and you'll establish and you'll understand something really beautiful. And that's that thought that you had that led to those actions that you took has now become your reality. And that's what's so crazy about life. If you remove the notion that somehow magically your life is going to get better because you do one thing, one time, or you read one book or do one thing, you are going to give yourself an incredibly, an immense amount of freedom. Because what happens, you start to think about the truth of life. And that's that if you believe something and you are willing to put in the work that it can become your life. That's a secret they don't tell you in school, right? Because they want you in the box. That's a secret they don't tell you in your workplace because they want you to perform. That's a secret that they don't tell you most of the time. Until this moment where you recognize. Wait. I'm allowed to be great. I'm allowed to have potential. I'm allowed to seek what I want, what I need, what I'm interested in. Yes, you are. As long as you think it and then you act upon it. And on a long enough timeline, it can come to fruition. I'm not saying it'll be overnight, because chances are it won't. Chances are it's going to take you 25 years. But how bad do you want it? How bad do you want the life that you want? And what are you willing to do to have that life? At 26 years old, I looked at my life and it was a disaster. A decade later, it's very different. And I have clients all the time where they step into coaching with me or they pick up a book, or they listen to this podcast and it might be you right now, or listening to this, hearing this, consuming this, wondering about what happens next. How do you get there? How do I create the life I want to have? How do I become the hero of my own story? Well, first you have to acknowledge that you need help getting there. No one great has ever done anything alone. And yet you're sitting here trying to figure it out by yourself. Talk about the definition of insanity. And so when you acknowledge that you can't do it alone. And look, whether you ever do a program with me or coaching with me, I don't care. It doesn't matter to me. The only thing that I care about is are you going to make the right decision to live your life in the way that you want to live your life in accordance with your values, your wants, your needs, your interests and your boundaries. And if I can give you one thing, one thing that you can execute and take away with you and carry on into your life from this moment forward. Forever. Forever. Forever and ever. It's that mindset plus action equals self actualization. I really want to hit this home today. And I know I've talked about it, I even have another episode of this podcast titled this Exact Thing. But I want to go deep here in this with you today. For you to carry something important, look at anything that you've ever done in your life that you would consider to be successful, that you're proud of. And. And I know that sometimes it's hard to name that thing, but there's gotta be one. And so you gotta spend your day figuring out what that One thing was, and I want you to reverse engineer that thing back. Go back through all the actions that you've taken. All of the moments, all the pain, all the suffering are the turmoil, all the doing it and grinding and again and again and again and again and again. And go back even further. Go back to the first time you said aloud, this is the thing that I'm going to do. And put yourself in that moment, in that position and remember what that was like. And then go back even further to the first time you had that thought, I can do this. I believe I can do this. I know I can do this. I'm going to do this. And then replay all that. And this is to prove a really important point, is that you have been capable of doing great things in your life many times over and you can do it again. But it all starts with what you're thinking. My friend, I just want to say thank you so much, as usual, for being a part of this, for being a part of my mission and my goals to end generational trauma, to be unbroken. And I'm going to ask you to do me a favor, and that is to, like, subscribe, comment and share this podcast or if you're watching, to share this video with someone who needs this today. And I appreciate you and I'm proud of you. And I believe that with your mindset and your actions, you can have the life that you want to have. And until next time, my friend, be unbroken. I'll see you. Thank you so much for listening to Think Unbroken. Please share this episode with someone who could use it and help us move forward in our mission of ending generational trauma in our lifetime. And if you would, please take 5 seconds to pop on iTunes or Spotify, hit that 5 star leave a review. And you can also reach out to us on social @michaelunbroken or @ think Unbroken. And of course, you can check out our YouTube channel at Think Unbroken. Thank you for being a part of Unbroken Nation, my friends. And until next time, be unbroken.