11 Deadly Dating Patterns Keeping You Stuck

Hello, Hello. Hello my loves. I hope you're doing well today. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar White and I am the CEO and founder of get yout Guy Coaching. And I help amazing, smart, ambitious women date high quality men and get into the best relationship of their lives. So if that's something that's of interest to you, you should definitely reach out to me and we can talk about your love life and how to level it up. Okay, tonight is going to be something that's really interesting. I'm going to wait for people to come in, but I want to share with you some dating tactics. Some things that are going to really help you level up in your dating life so that you can actually achieve your love goals. Hello from Hong Kong. How are you? Audra, Nice to see you girl. Hello Erica, Good to see you as well, my love.

I hope you're all well. Thank you for joining me. Like I was saying before, this is all about I want to share with you some dating tactics, tactics that are going to help you level up your love life. So I have a couple of examples and I'm going to have the audience just let me know which ones you prefer and then that's the one I'm going to share. Because honey, there is a wealth of knowledge here but I want to, you know, leave you with some, with some value before I hit the hey girl. I am a golden girl. I am not supposed to be up this late. Sweet. Getting my beauty sleep. Especially because I was literally watching Turning Red, the new Pixar movie with my kids at 5:30 in the morning. Because sometimes we do spontaneous and fun things. For example, tonight we had Dairy Queen even though it was 20 degrees outside. Just because I'm all about the fun here. So I want to hear from you. Which would you like to hear about? How to be vulnerable or would you like to hear about dating patterns and how to get clear about them? So in the chat, let me know which one you would prefer and I will share that with you. Both have amazing benefits to help you level up your love life. Vulnerability will obviously help you deeply connect with men where going over dating patterns will help you understand and see like which ones you have so that you, you can stop them. Okay, I'm seeing a lot of dating patterns so that's what we're going to go with. Alrighty. Awesome, awesome, awesome. So why do I talk about dating patterns? I talk about dating patterns and I just want to let you know this is something that I do with my Private clients that pay me four figures to work with them because it is such an important understanding of what you've been doing in the past. You have to get really clear on your past patterns and behaviors to actually make a change and do something different in the present and in the future. Right. So this is why I go through the actual dating patterns, and I have 11 of them. So I'm going to try to be really quick with them because it can start to drag on, and I don't want that. That gets really boring. But I want to make sure that if I talk to you about a dating pattern.

I want you to note it down. Please get a piece of paper and a pencil or pen or on your phone, go into the notes app, and I want you to highlight the dating patterns that you have, and I want you to score each pattern from zero to five. Five being, oh, hell, yeah, that's me. Zero being, girl, I've never done that before. I never will do that. That's not me. I'm not that girl. Okay, so I'm going to give you a few seconds to get your pen and paper out as we go through these dating patterns. And then after you let me know that you're ready to go through these dating patterns, girl, we're going to go one by one. Right at the end of the day, what I want to have happen is I want you to get really clear on what your top three dating patterns are. Because what I know, in my experience, I've been doing this for over a decade, is that your top three dating patterns are going to represent 80 to 90% of the way that you navigate your dating life. Okay? So this is really important. And then once we go through those ones, I'm going to ask you to share them in the chat, and then we'll talk about how you can start to really look at those dating patterns and figure out what they are and how to kind of solve for them. Okay? All right, So I have 11 deadly dating patterns. I'm going to start with the first one, which is what I call the flame out. And the flame out is all about. And I would say this is one of the most common and I would say even the deadliest of dating patterns, because the flame out starts with a lot of sparks, lots of chemistry at the very beginning. He's saying all the right things. You think that he's the one, he's different, and you might jump into the sack with him really early. No judgment. I'm just calling it as I've seen it.

And he might even say things like he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, or at least that's how you hear it. But literally within a week and a half to two weeks, ghost, dead, completely. Like not like disappears, right? That is the total flame out. Let me know if that's been something that you have experienced on more than one occasion, right? And just to give you a sense of if you are in a flame out or if you've been in a flame out. Your warning sign for this is that it's intimate, it's adoring, it's irresistible from day one. But you also feel completely out of control, like an addict that craves her fix, right? That you have no control and you've completely lost yourself and it's still early in the process that's flame out. So if you're flame out, let me know in the chat and we'll keep on going. Alrighty. The second pattern that I see quite often is the fantasy relationship. I call this little girl relationship. Fantasy relationship is all about being crazy about a man who doesn't even know you exist or, or doesn't even know who you are or doesn't have any sort of romantic interest in you. And this could be a guy that you work with, a guy that you see at the gym, even an old boyfriend, right?

That happens quite a bit.

In your head. You're already in a relationship with him and you think that it's like totally meant to be. And so in your head you're just like waiting for him and thinking that he's going to, to at some point see you and want to get with you. But you completely ignore the signs of that he has no interest in you, right? And I will let you know, as a gay kid going to a boarding school, I had a lot of these fantasy relationships, right? The thing about fantasy relationships is that it takes up all of your heart, space and mind space and all of your romantic attention is on him. And, and it doesn't give any space for any true love, right? So that is a serious issue. So the warning sign for the fantasy relationship is that deep down inside you feel sad and empty. And if you're honest, you're feeling a bit angry and rejected and heartbroken from your so called partner, the one who doesn't see you, right? So let me know in the chat.

Have you been in that fantasy relationship? Is that one of your patterns, girl? And just for those who have just started, who entered in, we are talking about deadly dating patterns here. We started off with the flame Out. We've just talked about the fantasy relationship. Now we're going to talk about crumbs. What is the crumb dating pattern? The crumb dating pattern is when you're involved with a guy. Maybe he's married or taken, maybe not. And you see him occasionally. Or let me just say this, he sees you occasionally when it works for him. He's kind of probably a flaming narcissist as well. This tricky thing is, is that he treats you well when you're with him. And if he's wealthy, he probably buys you a lot of gifts, but he's never available when you want him or when you need him. I want you to think of the crumbs guy as Mr. Big from sex and the City.

You probably spend a lot of time fantasizing about him, wanting him to spend more time with you, wanting him to leave his wife or his girlfriend or even leave his really.

Intense work because he spent so much time there. Either way, this is a really big, unhealthy dating pattern. And the reason I say this is because when you are accepting crumbs, you believe that you are basically a second class. You're in second class status or a citizen, and that's the best that you can get. And that's a really unhealthy place to be. So the warning sign for this dating pattern is that if your partner is always trying to make it up to you for the time that he spent away, the holidays that he's missed, or being with another woman, you're probably in a crumbs relationship. Okay, let me know in the chat. Is that one of your major patterns? Dating patterns? Deadly dating patterns? If so, I want to support you, I want to love on you. Because none of these patterns are going to make you feel good. But we're going through these because I want to make sure that you are clear about what these patterns look like. Okay. Okay, let's talk about the next pattern. This pattern is the hermit pattern. And I'm talking to the girls out there that are too busy. They got the work, they got the gym, they got a dog, they're walking that dog. And they have no time for a social life or a romantic life, right? Like you're working so hard, you're not even carving out any time for your romantic life. And by the end of the day, you collapse on your sofa. You either you order in and you eat dinner on your sofa and you're watching Netflix and then you pass out in your bed, or you might work a little bit in the evening Time and then pass out, right? You probably have signed up on the app, but you haven't really been on them because you're just too tired to even engage.

I think for people that are generally hermit or in hermit kind of a relationship pattern, it's the thought is that someday I'll get around to this, right? And find a great relationship. The true tea about being in a crumb pattern is that intimacy scares you and you might be a bit shy.

When I hear I'm just really hyper independent.

What I know for sure is that those are just fears. Fears. And the independent label is just a mask for that fear. Right. And that you probably have a hermit pattern that is not serving you in your romantic life. Okay, do you want to know the warning sign for the hermit pattern dating pattern? That warning sign is that you get more pleasure watching a rom com than you do actually flirting with a guy or going out on dates in real life. If that's you girl, share your pattern. Call yourself out. Awareness is super important here, right? So that's the hermit pattern. Let's go to the next one. The next one I have is the I'll make you love me pattern, right? What does that one look like? That one looks like you've started to take relationships and dating as a challenge. You want to try to win the guy over, even if he just has potential, right? And you work overtime and you over give to actually do this, which is for me a definite no no. In dating.

What it means is that you're performing for love and you're not really being yourself or you're being a version of what you think he wants, which is not truly 100% you.

And when you do that, you keep your desires hidden, right? And you stay quiet and you play small because you just want him to stay and never leave. Sometimes this comes from an abandonment wound as well. So I want to call that out because I had this I'll make you love me pattern. And that was me for sure, with my abandonment wounds and everything.

When we're talking about the I'll make you love me dating pattern, you may feel that you are not lovable or that if you started asking for things, it would be too much, right? The thing is, your over giving repels him and he's gonna find another woman or girl that is not doing as much. Okay? So that is the I'll make you love me dating pattern. Let me know if that one is yours. We got to keep it real. Let's stay honest, y'. All.

Okay, the next pattern I Want to talk about is the abuse cycle, date deadly dating pattern. Now, this is an actual deadly one that is a matter of life and death, Right. When it comes to abusive relationships, it generally starts off great. And then after some sort of commitment, either exclusivity, moving in together, child together, marriage, you start seeing the controlling paranoia and just plain mean sides of him. Right. This looks like him criticizing you often. And when that happens, just like any sort of other abuse, we actually take that on and we may become actually abusive to other people. Right. What do you do when you're in this dating pattern? You hang in there because you've been taught that loyalty is everything. You make excuses for him, you try to change him, you lie to yourself about what's really going on.

Now, I want to be really clear here.

This is very common for people who grew up with parents that were alcoholics or drug addicted. So if that was you, you may be susceptible to this also with childhoods where you were raised in an environment with verbal, physical and sexual abuse as a child. So for those.

Families, women of color out there, if you had spanking in your household, those are the things that make you more susceptible to this abuse cycle deadly dating pattern. Okay, yeah. Here's the thing about this pattern. When you're in it or when you start to understand that you're in it, you begin to think that your damaged goods and you're worthless. You're not.

How this affects you moving forward is that you don't trust people and you believe that they're not dependable. And you start to feel really powerless about your life, that you can't change anything or do anything.

It's a really sad place to be in. What's the warning sign for this? The warning sign for this dating pattern is that you're in a downward spiral and you're feeling worse and worse about yourself the longer you're with this guy. A good way to understand this is to look at how you were feeling last month on a scale from 0 to 10, and how you're feeling this month on a scale from 0 to 10. It's getting worse and worse. You, you may be in such a. Such a relationship dating pattern. Okay.

So I'm going to just take a little bit of break here. For the women that are listening, talk to me about some of your dating patterns that you've highlighted for yourself. Right. This is important.

So many women talk to me and they say I keep on attracting the same man.

It's not true. You keep on holding on to similar dating patterns.

There are millions, billions of men on this earth. Right? It is the patterns that we hold and the men that fit into those patterns that we actually continue. It's less about the men.

It's really about our patterns and what are familiar to us. Right. And what we know.

Right. We can't do something differently if we don't know differently. Yeah. Okay, I want to move on. Let's talk about the next.

Deadly dating pattern. I call this one the safety net. Right? This is the guy who's crazy about you, but maybe you think he's too nerdy, too uneducated, too unsuccessful, and so you think that he's a little bit beneath you. Right? And I handle this a lot because I work with a lot of smart and successful women. Right. There's a level of entitlement here. And you probably start seeing him when you're feeling a little low because you need that pick me up. Right? And you feel like he's never going to leave you. He's the safety choice. Right. The thing is, you're probably embarrassed to introduce him or to hang out with your friends or with him. Right. Or your besties to actually meet him.

What else?

He just does whatever you want. Right. And that provides you with some level of security and companionship, and that's why you keep this thing going. Here's the shade of this safety net dating pattern. It can only end in two ways. One, you realize that there's no chemistry, and you stall and stall and stall to let him go. And then you finally let him go. The second ending to this is that he turns himself inside out to try to satisfy you and to try to please you. And then his confidence increases and his self esteem increases and he dumps you.

Let me know if that's been your pattern. And just if you're not sure if it's your pattern or not, I'm gonna give you a warning sign, which is that you only notice that he's hot when he's talking or flirting with another woman.

Yeah, I've had some safety nets, and it makes you feel really bad afterward.

Okay, the next dating pattern that I want to highlight is one that I call not perfect. I'll pass. Okay, what does this one mean? This one is all about.

You putting yourself out there. And basically.

You pull yourself back because you start actually finding various defects with each and every guy that you see. Oh, he's too cynical. Oh, his voice isn't deep enough. Oh, he's clumsy. Oh, right. This is the not perfect, I'll pass dating pattern. Right? The reality and the tea of this entire situation is that you aren't giving any man a chance. No one is good enough for you. You. And if we're being 100% honest, and I'm sure you're not going to like me for saying this, but that's never stopped me in the past and it's not going to stop me now that you are unconsciously projecting your own feelings of inadequacy onto these men. And that's a no no that requires healing, girl. Right. Your reaction is a defense mechanism designed. Designed to actually guard you against rejection.

I want to repeat that because this is really important. Your this guy needs to be perfect mentality is a reaction and a defense mechanism designed to guard you against rejection.

When I hear there are no good men out there.

I think about not perfect outpass dating pattern. And your warning sign for this is that you keep wondering why you, an amazing woman.

That has so much going for her, is still single and alone.

Not perfect. I'll pass.

Okay, next dating pattern. Chase me.

What is this dating pattern all about? You meet a great guy. You open up emotionally and maybe physically with him. Everything's going well, but probably too well. And you get scared to death and you start running away and you're hoping that he chases you, right? Why?

Because your fear of commitment surfaces or resurfaces and you pull back and you become unavailable and distant. Right.

The chase me dating pattern is all about fear.

You want to break up with him or at least, you know, be the catalyst that starts the breakup so that you have a reason to actually break up with him before he can break up with you.

This is how you control your heartbreak.

In your head, you're thinking he should be getting, you know, jumping over all of these walls that I have to get to me, and smashing through all of these different barricades.

The true tea is that you've never told him that that's what he needs to do. So you're setting him up for actual failure.

Right. And then what do you say? I knew it all along. I knew it was too good to be true. I knew he wasn't the one for me. This guy is not doing what he's supposed to be doing. Right. The warning sign for this is.

You love him and you hate him. You just don't give a shit. And you can't stop yourself from acting and distant. Okay.

Yeah. This is so, so much. So I have two more deadly dating patterns. And then if you have any questions about these dating patterns, I will definitely answer them.

The second to last dating pattern that I want to talk about is the Just Buddies deadly dating pattern. What is this one? Just Buddies. And maybe you've been that girl.

It is that you don't have trouble meeting men, right? But they just treat you like a buddy. Someone that they watch or play sports with. Someone who they go to when they need some sort of advice or counseling, specifically about girls. Right?

You don't flirt. You don't got. You don't give off any green lights to them to let them know that you have any sort of interest in them, even if you like them. And.

You start to feel like you're not attractive. Right. Or that you're not womanly, or that you're not sensual or sexual, or that no guy would be interested in you.

The warning sign for the just Buddies deadly dating pattern is that when you're getting dressed either for a date or for a nice event.

You start to feel strange and uncomfortable, like you aren't being the real you.

Okay? Okay. And the last dating pattern that I have, I know it's been through a lot, but I want to make sure that I'm really rounding out all of the different scenarios of the patterns, and I want you to pick your top three. Okay. The last dating pattern that I have is the grass is always greener. What does this mean? This is all about maximizing. You meet guys with potential, but you feel like you're losing out on better options always. Right. You think that these imaginary men that you haven't even met.

Are better than your current guy. Right. And you're scared that you're gonna end up settling for a boring or ordinary relationship. News flash. Healthy relationships have a little bit of ordinariness and, and boringness to them. It's called safety.

You may feel.

Comfortable with long distance relationships because it gives you more options to be a bit more open. If you have this pattern of the grass is always greener, and you're probably wildly ambivalent about your partner.

One moment he's the one, one moment he's not the one. And that just makes you feel trapped and resentful. Right.

This is commitment phobia running wild in your life at the end of the day. So what's the warning sign for this one? That you're constantly thinking, thinking, thinking and analyzing your boyfriend, comparing him to an imagined or real guy who seems to be so much better.

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to repeat all of the different dating patterns so that we can get clear on which ones work for you and which ones you want to highlight as your top three. Number one, flame out. Number two, fantasy relationship. Number three, crumbs. Number four, hermit. Number five, I'll make you love me. Number six, abuse cycle. Number seven, safety net. Number eight, perfect, not perfect. I'll pass. Number nine, chase me. Number 10, just buddies. And number 11, grass is always greener. Okay, awesome. Let me know in the chat, what were some of your top three ladies? I want to know what were your top three deadly dating patterns? Yeah, and as I'm waiting for those, I'm going to start answering some of the questions in here.

Fear of commitment stems from which childhood wound? It can be a variety of different childhood wounds. So one of them can be abandonment. Right. One of them can be a trust wound. And just FYI, I have two podcast episodes that talk all about our childhood wounds and goes through each and every one of them and where they come from. From. But mostly this is about trust and. And abandonment. Yeah.

I have another question here. What was number seven?

Seven was hermit.

I believe I keep recycling the same three men. New men used to scare me. Yeah. So you keep on going to men that are familiar to you, but you're not putting yourself fully out there. You're making yourself really busy. And the true t is that if one of these guys was the one, you would have already been with him exclusively.

Right. So you're keeping yourself stuck a bit.

I think it's. You may have certain situations with each of these three guys, but yeah, it's giving a bit hermit girl. It's giving a bit hermit for you.

And also a bit safety net. These same men, a safety net for you, and it allows you.

To not really put yourself out there.

Yeah.

Okay, let me see. I have another question.

Falling for someone you weren't interested in initially falls into which category?

I don't really think that that falls into any category that seems healthy. These are generally deadly dating patterns. What you've highlighted is not deadly. That's actually just generally how it goes, girl. People think that when you first meet someone that you automatically hit it off.

That's not the case. Right. That oftentimes, I'm sorry, Disney and the rom com movies won't tell you this. It's a slow burn, baby. Fuck the spark. It's a slow burn.

Yeah. So good. Any questions about these deadly dating patterns, please let me know which one are yours?

I'm really interested and curious. Right. Again, we are highlighting these deadly dating patterns because you have to know how you've been doing it before so that you can understand what specific changes you need to make and also what healing you need to do to move past these patterns. And that's what I do in my program. We figure out what's the healing that's necessary that you need to do, and we start working on that. And we have an action plan for you, a personalized one, so that you can move beyond these deadly dating patterns and you can actually.

Create new and healthy dating patterns.

Yeah.

Got it. Any questions on these deadly dating patterns?

DHA Diva is saying, what do you do with a cheap guy but you enjoy his company.

This isn't necessarily a deadly dating pattern. This is about how you actually evaluate men in the courtship and dating process. Right.

The reason why I am not going to really give you a specific answer on this is because.

I don't know your history. Every woman has a history. And for some women, like, they might be cheap as well. So they get it and they're fine with it. And it's not a huge problem for other.

Anyway, I was saying that it might. Yeah, I was breaking up. But what I was saying was that it's going to depend, depending on how you were raised. You are going to need different things in your relationships for some.

Women. Oh, hold on. This happens every time.

Can you hear me now? Let me know if you can hear me now.

Give you a little dance break until you can hear me.

Good. Yeah. So I was just answering Diha diva's question. It is going to be different for every woman depending on your needs. I have a podcast episode about figuring out what your relationship needs are. So I would suggest you go to the get your guy coaching podcast and you listen to that and that will really help you. Right. If you feel like the cheapness is something that really bothers you, you need to highlight it and let him know. Hey, I would like. These are the things that really make me feel good and really make me feel special. Let me know if that's something that that's. That you can do. Right. You have to communicate it. And he gets to make a choice about whether he can do that or not. Right. And he gets to say no. I had a client who was dating a doctor and he just wasn't giving her enough time and she had to call. She had to have a conversation with him and ask him, is this something that you can do or not? Right. I understand your commitments and everything. I'm not here to try to, you know, take your focus away, but that requires a conversation. Yes or no.

I'm personally a simple date, so if you take me to McDonald's, I'm happy. If you take me on a picnic that literally costs 20 bucks, I'm good to go. If you take me to Cheesecake Factory, girl, I feel like I'm hitting Disneyland. I'm a cheap date, honey, and I am not afraid to talk about it. But you know, other, other people have different needs, right? So that's why I'm saying it really depends on what's coming up for you when that happens and what you make that mean based on your experiences. Good. Any other questions for me?

I hope that this was a bit helpful. I always feel like having clarity is something that is a game changer when it comes to dating and relationships. So I want to make sure that you know you the best that you can so that you can share and communicate that with your future partner. Right? Because that's what this is all about. Like, the name of my company is get your guy, but this is also, this is really about getting back to your true, true self and your true essence. And by doing that, you'll be able to get your guy. So a lot of the work that I do is clarity exercises like this, you know, this is something that is super important. So if you can get clear with what you want and what you need and what you've done and why you've done it, you can get close and achieve your love goals. I'm 100% convinced of this. Okay? Now, if this was helpful, if you're like, oh, I want more of this, I need to know more about myself.

I feel like my love life is a priority. I want my love in 2022. I want to invite you to either book a free complimentary consultation with me at www.getyourguycoaching.com apply or you can just hit me up in the DMs, right, and let me know what your top three deadly dating patterns were and we can kind of discuss them there, right? In the complimentary consultation if I feel like it's a good fit, and about a third of the time it's not. And that's okay too.

We'll talk about all of these different things and how you can overcome them. And I'll also talk about my amazing six month program where most of my clients are getting their guy within the six months. And if they don't, they stay in my program for up to a year until they get their guy. I'm so focused and determined for all of my clients to get, get their guy. And I want the same for you. And when I Say guy. I'm not just talking about any old dude. I'm talking about the healthiest, safest relationship that you've ever been in, where this guy is showing up for you, he's doing things for you whether you ask or not. He's thoughtful, he's kind, he's sensitive, he's loyal, he shows up, he's consistent, all of those things. So if that's something that you're interested in.

I want to invite you to book a consultation call because that's the first step in working with me. That's my process. I talk to you because I have to figure out if it's a fit or not. I'm like, in a relationship with all of my clients for six months. They get to text me and everything. So I want to know if this is something that I feel like I can help you with or not. Right. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes I'll say, hey, maybe you should go to therapy, or, hey, you're a little bit fresh from your breakup. Let's wait a month. I want you to do this, this, this, and this. Then let's talk in a month and we'll go and we'll rock on. Yeah.

Audra is saying thanks. I'm booking my consultation now. Do it, girl. We'll have fun and it'll be informative to you. I think it's probably going to be one of the best phone calls about your love life that you've ever had. I say that with confidence and also experience. I'm not cocky. I'm confident.

Gigi Lovely says, is it free after six months without finding the guy? That's what I just said. Right. So a program is six months. If you do not find your guy in six months, you'll stay in the program for up into a year, for the next six months. Right. Until you find your guy. There's no additional charge for that. You get to continue to go into the coaching calls and the office hours. And there's lifetime access to my online program, which goes through Vulnerability Boundaries, a specific dating strategy to actually evaluate and vet men in the right way so that you're only going on dates with high quality men. We're talking about how to be yourself in your love life, how to own your love life and be more confident. We're talking about your inner childhood wounds and healing them. We're talking about. I think I talked about vulnerability already. Managing your mindset. Last week, I went through the entire dating process with my clients. What we're doing on date 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

I'm sure you don't. You have no plan for that because you probably have no strategy about your love life in 2022. It is really important to have a strategy because there's so much out there. We have to be clear about.

What you're doing every step of the way. So I answer your question. Yes. The next six months are free or up until you get your guy. Okay, so let's say in six months you haven't done that. A lot of my clients in the south don't get their guy in six months. This is why I extended the program up to a year. They usually get him within nine months. The love and courtship culture is a little bit different in the south, so they generally get their guy within six to nine months. Yeah. And that's okay. I, I also have international clients as well. I have a client in Korea, I have a client in Singapore, I have a client in Mexico. And there are different courtship processes as well that we go through, as well as different apps and different ways to interact with different men. I want to let you guys know that.

I literally have been on apps for 20 years and I know exactly what we do is like I go through your profile and we completely transform it. We make all decisions together about your love life when you're in my program. So the first thing that you're going to do, we're going to have a one on one call within the program. Then we're going to go and do and completely transform your profile and your picture so that you're actually attracting quality men. And then after that, we're going to go through how I want you to date, right? I want you to implement my 3, 2, 1 funnel. I want you to be Olympic dating. Then we'll go through vulnerability, right? So you learn how to be vulnerable. Because most women that I talk to don't know how to do that. So they're never going to connect deeply with a man, which means he's never going to give a shit about you. That you're only going to be at a certain surface or a certain level, and then it stops. Right. I told my clients often that men put women into three categories. Wham, bam, thank you, ma'. Am. Dateable but not married life partner, soulmate. Right?

Most women fall into the first two and it's because of vulnerability. And that's why we start working on it immediately. And then we go into boundaries and confidence. Then after that, we talk about the dating process, right? And we talk about how do we actually manage our mind through this process, right? Because our mind will go like and our emotions will go in a roller coaster. And you have to be able to regulate your emotions so that you can communicate clearly with your man so that he can make you feel better. But if you can't manage your emotions and regulate them, it's going to be hard to actually connect with a man and be with a man and communicate and make decisions together.