Anwar White tells single mothers to prioritize their own needs before their children's, build a network of three trusted babysitters for dates, and vet partners thoroughly before introducing them. Delay serious conversations about your kids while dating, run background checks, and reclaim the feminine energy of letting men do for you.
Chapters
Advice for dating as a single mother, Great question. I think it's important for you to understand that I think a lot of single mothers think that they are not valuable in this dating market. But I want you to understand that men that are relationship ready don't care. I think general, most men don't care. Men will sleep with you even if you're married. So it doesn't really matter if you have a kid or not. I want you to understand that they will engage and they will try to sleep with anything. Girl, men are trying to sleep with dead people. No shade. So.
Like I don't want to think just because you have a child that like, oh my God, nobody's gonna want me. No, girl, a lot of people, a lot of men will want you, a lot of men won't want you, but a lot of men aren't relationship ready.
That's important. So that's one thing. The other thing that I will say is a lot of, if you're a single mother, you're actually forced to be in your masculine energy. So part of the work as a single mother is learning how to step into your feminine energy and allow and let these men do for you. Because right now, and I'm a parent, so I get it, when you become a parent, your identity shifts from a woman to a mother. And what you're going to have to do is take that mother hat off and put that woman hat back on and let these men do for you. You do nothing with men. Right. Which is feels so counterintuitive because normally you're dictating everything, you're in control of everything. And so it can feel really scary because you think like, if I'm not in control, how am I supposed to navigate this situation?
That's one thing. The other thing that I think is important is.
If you're a single mother, you're going to have to put yourself first even before your children. And I know that sounds sacrilege for many of you, but here's the thing. If you're always putting your child first, you will just translate that over to a man and you will just put him first and you'll be, you'll be a second class citizen in your own relationship. So you actually are going to have to put yourself first. And what does that look like? It looks like when you go grocery shopping and you're just getting all of the favorite things for your daughter or son, don't do that. Get all of your favorite stuff first and then get their stuff. If you're that Parent that is eating off of the plate of your child who hasn't finished their food. You're literally eating scraps. Uber eats doordash and get the meal that you fucking want.
Do you hear me?
Someone said you have to be a little bit selfish. You need to be fully self centered.
This is what it looks like.
Don't be that girl.
Okay?
Very important. The other thing is you're going to have to get a babysitter's club. So you're going to have to have three people that are going to be able to look after your kids in a second for those spontaneous dates and also those planned dates so you're not thinking about it anymore. And someone from those three. You need to have three people for your babysitter's club.
Some of those people need to be family and friends that you don't have to pay.
Okay.
Y' all are saying yes, selfish. Don't. Don't name it as selfish. Name it as self centered. Because here's the thing. Your future person is going to want to center you. And if you're not used to being centered and you're used to just doing the work and being in the background, you will find a man who wants to center himself. The other thing that I will say is.
You'Re going to need to wait for to introduce your kids to him.
I am serious when I say this.
Step parent. You have to vet these men more than any other woman.
Sexual abuse for children happen most when there is a step parent in the household. And I'm not saying that to scare you.
You can find the research on.
I'm telling you this so that your eyes are open.
You will need to do all of the background checks. All of them.
I don't want you talking about your children or being a mother while you're dating.
Jackie said as an ex forensic interviewer I can confirm what Amore is saying.
Okay.
When you're dating, you have to pretend like you don't even have kids. No Shade.
Can you hear me?
Hold on one second. I got a feel this.
Plug in my phone.
Girl. You're single again. What did Trina say? Single again. Out on the prow.
Yeah. What? Kids.
Okay, what does that also mean? It means that he cannot have access to your. Your social media because I'm pretty sure you're probably gonna have y' all crack it up because of my Trina. Honey, honey, Trina got me through undergrad girl.
