Ask a Dating Coach + Q and A 10-11-23

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Hello, everyone. Good to see you. Happy hump day. Happy Wednesday. I hope everyone is doing well.

I've come on because I want to talk with you. I missed you. Where have you been all my life? Yeah. Now, for those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar Y Coach Anwar as they call me. And I'm here to help you get your love life in order. Yeah. So if you have any questions about love, dating, relationships, men or women, girl, put it in the comments.

So that you know, we can get you all the way together, honey. Yeah. Because that's what we do up in here. So now what I want to have happen is I want to hear from you. I want to know what are the things that are keeping you stuck. And if you want to.

Really get your love life in order, you can check the link in my bio. Listen to my amazing podcast last week. The last episode was the head of marketing for OkCupid.

And many more amazing episodes. I have some free trainings as well that will help any black or brown woman completely level up in their love life. And if you want to work with me, you can apply to book a consultation call with me and my team and we will evaluate what your opportunities are and if you know it's a good fit or not. Yeah. Now some of the girls get mad if it's not a good fit. If we're on the phone with you and you going back and forth with us, it might not be a good fit. Yeah. So those are all of the opportunities that are available to you if you click the link in my bio. Put your questions in the comments though, because we're going to have a good old time. We're going to answer these questions and go from there. And if there's anything that I'm saying that you're living for that resonates with you, tap the screen, double tap, triple tap, so that we can get our likes on. Yeah.

Good, good, good, good, good. Hello, Bar. Hello, Joanne. Hello. I love Prince. She said, missed you. I need to run into you in nyc. It's so funny. I was in nyc, my God, last weekend. Girl, everywhere I go, I follow you. I follow you. And I'm like, oh, my God, that's so crazy. You know, I'm just a little, little old black boy in Montreal just talking his ish. So I never like, think that in like real life people are like going to recognize me, especially like if I'm with my kids or with my family. My kids are like, they just think I'm like, Regular degular. And I totally am, by the way. So it always gags them when people are like, I know you. Can I take a picture with you? So forth and so on. So I love that. Yordy. Hey, girl. Hey.

Hey, Chrissy. Girl. Isla Prince said, I have a date tomorrow. I love it. Girl.

Melty emoji said, hi, I have a question. Girl, answer it. Creme de la creme said, wait, you're the matchmaker. Girl, I'm not a matchmaker. I'm a dating coach. A matchmaker will just find the guys. I help women find their own guys and figure out their healing and figure out what they're looking for. Exactly. Cuz here's the thing. If you go with a matchmaker, they're going to provide the guys. But girl, if you haven't done the healing work, it doesn't matter if the perfect guy is right next to you or not. Yeah. Hi, Sasha. Good to see you. Victoria said, how to indicate on your profile that you're interested in dating men of another race?

Just say, I'm open to all. All men. Here's the thing. So many women will be very particular in terms of what they're looking for. They'll be like, I like guys with glasses and a beard. And you know, I like guys that are X, Y and Z. When you're talking about what you're looking for, make it broad. I like guys that like to have fun, that have their own passions. Okay. That will. You want, you want to filter in. You don't want to filter out because you want as many men coming into your funnel. And then it's going to give you the opportunity to, based on the conversation that you have, either eliminate or sometimes they'll self eliminate or have them continue to move through. Yeah. Autumn Nicole said, I'm a single mom of four. I feel stagnant with dating because I'm so sure. Because I'm so sure of what I want. Or maybe not so sure of what I want. Let me know. Autumn, Monique said, hello, amore. So nice to see you. Nice to see you too. Twerk cheats that just got here. Good tiger. A thank you so much for the heart. Me and the five roses. Hi, Patricia. Hi, Vonna. Hi, Autumn. Hi. Call me Kitty. Hey, Sassy Toya. Hey, Melissa. Hey, Kaylyn.

Let me just see what the girls on.

On IG are talking about. Honey, I don't want you to think I'm. I'm igging ya. I'm igging ya. Tamara said, it's my favorite time of the week. I know that's right, girl. Nikita said, we missed you too. Thank you, girl.

Ladakay Day said, do you have veneers? I do. I got them in Colombia. I love them because, girl, my teeth were a hot mess. Hashtag poverty.

Doula. Hey, girl.

Angel Jack said I need to apply. Girl, go to the link in my bio. Click that book consultation length and then fill out that. Fill out that application. Your application will not pass unless you indicate that this is a high priority for you, that you're willing to invest, that you're interested in at least one of my programs, and that you want to do the work either now or this month. Those are not there, girl. The automated computer will put you in the not a fit category. Unfortunately, there are so many applications that we get on a daily basis. We can only talk to the people that are ready to do this work right here and right now. Okay? So if that's not you, I would definitely suggest that you not apply right now.

Pretty brown eyes said, hi, Coach Amwar. Hey, girl. Good to see you. Hey, Tonya. Trex Sam said the quality of guys is low. It is tiring. Here's the thing.

97% of the guys that you go out with won't even get to a third date.

I want us to be very clear about the stats of the love game. So for many of us, we might be romanticizing this part of the dating process. This isn't the romantic part. You just got to get through the guys. Boom, boom, Boom, boom, boom. 10 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes in the evening. Okay?

Take breaks. Take breaks. Every month, girl, you're going to have to have a Hubbard conversations, which, if you're consistent, can happen over three months for you to gain some momentum and some steam. Most women will start and stop because they get triggered and they don't know how to work through it. And because of that, they lose all of their dating momentum and all of their results. Half of my job as a coach is just to keep my ladies in. In the arena. Dating. Yeah. Nikita said, I'm a plus size woman, but have no problems getting dates or attracting men. However that men seem hypersexual, how can I avoid these men? Well, it depends. Your pictures might be really revealing. So we definitely want to make sure we're. We're giving Banana Republic, Michelle Obama, and we're not leading with pictures. You know, some of the girls will give you one of these pictures, but then all they're showing is that booty, booty, booty, booty, booty everywhere. You don't want to do that or some of the girls, especially the big bus. H h siiz girls will give you a lot of this showing all this, all of that, girl. And you know what you're doing? You attracting those wolves, girl. That's part of it. Now those men are many men are going to hypersexualize you anyway because you are curvier and they think and I'm going to keep it real with you that because you're curvier, you don't care about your body. So he feels like he can do whatever he wants to it and will kind of use you or try to use you for your body. So you. It just means that your boundaries need to be tight, honey. Tight.

Like no flexibility. So. And if you need help with that, we can definitely help you get your boundaries in or door.

Yeah.

Good.

Nikim said, hello. Hey from Minneapolis. Hey, girl. Keep warm, girl. Pamela Horton said, hi, Coach Amore. Hey, girl. Message for mom said, hey, bestie. Hey, mom.

Phoenix said, oh, you skipped my question. Did I?

Girl, what was it? Ask again.

Didn't mean to.

Aida said, hi, I'm dating a man who broke up with his ex a month ago. Should I continue dating him? Most guys will get back out there within one to three months. So girl, see, continue dating him and see what happens.

Ashley said, are you live on Tik Tok too or just here? Girl Always both. Always both.

Okay, let me see. Raquel said on Tik Tok. Hi from the doctor. I know that's right, girl. Tiger8 said, I love. I love you. Thank you for your work. You're welcome, girl. Patricia said, hello. Hey, Patricia. Girl. Nikki PG said single mom, teacher, struggling with meeting men. Growl. Here's what I know if you're in a nurturing career, ladies teacher, nurse, doctor, therapist, social worker, hairdresser, flight attendant. Girl, you need to take up more space. You're censoring other people. You're going to censor your men. So you got to learn how to take up more space. Now if you're telling me that you're also a single mom and a teacher girl, now you're given third third class citizen in your own relationships. I already know it's because you already centering your kids first and then probably other people second and then you third. It's got to be you number one. Yeah. Struggling to meet men. How are you meeting men? Now Ms. Nikki P.G. queen has said, why was my ego hurt by a guy that I knew couldn't provide for me ended things. This is the danger of getting with guys that you know are not on your level. Because it hurts more when a two or a three says no to you than a nine or a ten. Because you're like, if a two or three is saying no, then I must be a zero or a one.

Don't. Don't get with the two or threes. Don't give them any life. Don't give five or sixes any life. Girl. Yeah, of course your ego's hurt.

But please understand that part of the reason why you went for the two or three, because there's a confidence and self esteem issue that we got to work on. If you want help working with that, you probably want to work with me. Hey, call me Kitty. Springy Spring said, wait. Don't be entitled. But no. 50. 50.

When did I say this? Definitely no. 50, 50 in the courtship. You want him to show up for you and to pursue you in terms of entitlement. This isn't entitlement. Like, he has to do this. This is what we are observing. Right. Meaning? Because if he does this, we know that he is in a provider mindset and he's in his true masculine energy.

If that is not the case, he's not going to be ready for a relationship. Yeah. So we're not saying he has to do that. We're observing. And if he does it, great. If he doesn't, we know he's not ready and we're going to step away. But there isn't. We're not trying to control people here.

Hey, Queen G. Autumn Nicole said, I'm a single mom for dating an atl. I'm getting so discouraged. Girl, stop dating an atl. Girl. Girl. It's the worst of the worst. Girl is. Girl.

Put your. Put your location somewhere else, girl. Birmingham, Chattanooga, North Carolina.

Yeah.

Atl. If you want to be an atl, that's fine. Girl. But don't go on hinge. Hinge is the worst of the worst.

Okay, Cupid, maybe depending on your age, maybe match. Don't go on hinge. You might want to try out bumble a little bit. But ATL is very difficult, very difficult to find a guy in. Yeah. Courtney W. Said, when did you start alive? Girl? I want to say 15 minutes ago. Something like that.

Em said, I'm a college student. How should I start dating more? I'm at a PWI. Well, girl, guess what? Most schools are PWIs, except for HBCUs. And quite as it's kept, they're starting to become a PWI too. The more and more that diversity is Happening. So what does this mean? Girl, it means that I don't want you to, like, use your.

I want you to also date people that are outside of college. Right. I don't want you to make the world your college, the world. Yeah. This is really important.

But here's the other thing. During college, people are going to be doing new and different things that they haven't normally done. So to be interestingly enough, people will be more open to getting to know you. Excuse me.

Excuse me. So interact with new and different people, but also, girl, step outside of the campus. Yeah.

Someone on IG said, I thought you recommended Hinge. I recommend it for certain cities in Atlanta and D.C. and in LA. Hell, no.

You already said, when I get that big girl money, I'm coming to you. Can't wait, girl. Can't wait.

The rose. Wet said, are you married? Yes. Married with three children. She's a suburban mother of three, honey. I know. We go to gymnastics, karate and fencing. She's married. And if you are following lots of dating coaches, I want to offer one thing to you, and that is that you want to follow people that are married and have been married for a while who know. Who knows what it looks like to go from A to Z? Right. There are a lot of single people giving great advice, but if their advice was really great, they would be in a relationship, no shade. Yeah. Coco Casey said, hello. I appreciate your content so much. Thank you. Girl. DF said, how do you feel about dating a guy with a female best friend? They've been friends for five years. Girl.

50% of the time, that's great. 50% of the time, it's not great. It just depends on the situation. I can't really speak on it because, I don't know.

Sometimes it's like there's. There's like it's cousin energy, and then half the time it's not. You're gonna have to listen to your intuition here.

Okay, Let me see where I'm at. Y' all already lost my place.

Honey. Kaylin said, I like bald men with beards, girl. Me, too. That's why my partner is bald with beards, girl.

Missy Boss said, hey was in Seattle for work and ended up talking about your TikTok posts. What do you mean, girl? You mean colonizing the colonizers? Would you get. You get a couple of white product managers or engineers, Girl. Girl, you better report back.

NYA said, how do I stop. How do I stop attracting narcissistic men? Great question. I know that if you're saying thing. If you're apologizing for no reason. If you are, you know, self deprecating. If you say things like I don't know, you're going to attract narcissistic men.

Why? Because if you. If you already telling yourself that you're bad or that you're in the wrong, all they have to do is agree with you. That is like the MO of narcissistic guys. So there are self things that you can do on your own to make sure that you are repelling narcissistic guys. Boundaries. Narcissistic guys don't like boundaries. Being super vulnerable. Narcissistic guys can't deal with vulnerability. They can't hold space for other people. They can. They only want space held for them. So if you hyper focus on those things, you will repel those narcissistic guys. Yeah.

Call me Kitty say Anwar got me out here bold talking to the Caucasians and honey, let me tell y' all girl tell us girl what's the tea? Girl Inquiring minds want to know.

Sylvia said dating advice for flight attendants. Girl, don't cheat. I just read a study. The top female cheaters, nurses, flight attendants and women make.