Ask+a+Dating+Coach+Q+and+A

Are we living in a dream world?

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Happy Sunday. Is it Sunday, you guys? This week has been such a whirlwind. Good morning to you all all. I hope that you're having a great Sunday. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar. Why Coach Anwar, as they call me. And I'm here to just talk about boys and men because they're different. Love, dating, relationships.

All of the things. And women grow. If you. Is that. That would. If that is what you are doing. If you said, I'm tired of these men, or if you are naturally inclined for women. We want to talk about that as well. Yeah. Yes, honey. Happy fall, honey.

Get cuddled, honey. The chill is chilling.

So if you have any questions about those things, put them in the comments and I will answer them. I just got back from New York yesterday. I went in for a talk. It was an amazing talk where I was talking to a really great organization about how. How to. How to take up space and time for yourself as a black woman. And so.

Every month I'm gonna be traveling and talking my ish, honey, and all of that. So I'm happy to be back home. I'm gonna be on here for maybe an hour or so, and then, girl, we gotta take the. The kid to the birthday party.

So if you are interested in learning what I do a little bit more, you can click the link in my bio. I have free trainings there. I have a link to my podcast called the get your guy coaching podcast. I have a link to book a call with me if you're interested in doing this. Work more intensely.

So that's that. I don't know who is like, one of my kids is so loud, girl. And I cannot.

I'm hearing boom, boom, boom. I feel like I'm at a rave.

Who is jumping?

Dad had to come out, honey. Papa. Papa A, as they call me.

Oh, my God. I'm literally gonna kill somebody. I literally cannot.

Who is jumping?

Stop, stop, stop. Thank you.

Feels like a bomb.

Not the.

Honey. I'm tired.

A lot of traveling, and I was out with friends, and I'm not used to drinking, girl. And she's still recovering. I Wish I was 21 again, where I could just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Look cute for brunch the next morning. Now it takes me two days. All right, let me see what y' all talking about. Trinity. Hey, girl. Hey, Noel. Hey. Do you. Hey, Margaret. Good morning. Good morning. The real Karen Thrower. Hey, peanut. Hey, Lachey. Melissa said I've been listening to your podcast. I love it. Good. My podcast is called the get your guy coaching podcast, and you should just check that out because I'm spilling major tea. The last episode that I have, which was last Wednesday, I had the head of marketing for OkCupid, so they were giving tea on.

How to work the app so that the work. The apps don't work. You. Yeah. Ms. T Brand. Hey, friend. Hey, Phil Hill. Good morning. Good morning, brown sugar. Hey, Katya from London. Hey, Angelique. Good morning. Hey, Opaque. Hey, Chrissy girl. Hey, Aylin. Hey, Morgan. Good to see you.

Let me see where I'm at. Hey, King Coco. Girl.

Who knows about this.

Girl, I could put this song on repeat for a decade and I had no reason knowing all of the lyrics at my young, thirsty age.

Hey, Tabisha.

Hey, Opaque. Thank you so much for the rose. That girl said, how can I sign up for the turkey trip? Just sign up for the general trips and the link in my bio for our Adora tours and.

We'Ll put you on. It's gonna happen next spring. Yeah. So we have a bit of time.

Weight loss says, I've made all the mistake. I think we all have grown. Achilles says, good morning. Good morning, girl. Hey, Latrice girl, good to see you. Happy Sunday. Morgan said, I went on date two last night with an Asian guy and it was outstanding. As it should be. Why wouldn't it be, girl?

Noel said, may ask a question? Of course, girl. Put in the chat. D said, good morning, handsome. Girl. Don't. Don't start none, won't be none. My partner right in the bathroom next door. Girl, all I gotta do is go and he'll be right here.

So. Girl, you want that wrath? I don't think so. Hey, Lily. Moo.

Opaque Siren said, what is the best dating site for Black women over 40? Well, it depends on what city you're in, but overall, I would say match is pretty good. Wait, last part said, thank you for your content. You're welcome, girl. Peanut, thank you so much for the three roses. Opaque. Thank you so much for the rose.

It's Sony said. So I'm about to go on a date at a Louis store. How to get him to get me some shoes. Girl, that is not the place that you want to go on a date because now you're setting the precedent that.

You are to be bought.

And guess what? There are millions of women that can be bought.

What you need to make sure that you are doing is.

Having an emotional connection with this guy, y'. All are so focused on. I want him to get me this, I want him to get me that. Because you want somebody to give you the attention and validation and nurturing that maybe you didn't receive when we were growing up without realizing that shit is empty. And that you can get. Any guy can get you that. You can get yourself that. But what you're. What. What I think you may be looking for, and I'm not just talking to you. I'm talking about so many women out there. Is true, true love. Unconditional love and attention. Yeah.

Girl. Get yourself the shoes.

Noel said, a lot of talk about the light bill and flack about women opting out.

No, girl, we don't, like, build these men. Yeah.

Let's say they must be excited for the party. Yes. They must be jumping around. Holiday said, silence when dad yells be tricked. How cute. DG said, your smile is warm. Thank you, Sandra B. Thank you so much for the rose.

Hello, bestie. I downloaded Tinder and Hinge and Colonization was amazing. Two dates, amazing treatment. Honey, I need to do that video today, but I'm scared. I don't want to get canceled for telling black women that they need to colonize these white men. My partner is getting his clothes right now.

Okay. He didn't want to be on. He didn't want to be on camera. One of these days, I'll get him on. Aria Said, wait. I had no idea you had kids. Yes, I'm married with three kids. Le G, thank you so much for the two donuts.

Y' all don't get on Tinder. Please. Justice Said, I downloaded Hinge and Bumble. Bumble gave me so much anxiety. Okay, girl, why? Chris Said had a pretty good second date at a farmer's market yesterday. Love that day. We'll see where this goes. One of my clients reached out to me and she said, I'm going on a first date and we're going wedding cake tasting, which was so gag worthy. You gotta make this stuff fun. Yeah. So the sun is at self care day scheduled Thursday waxing and Saturday spa, massage, soft life. I know that's right. I got my. I got my facial on Friday right before my talk that I gave. It was so amazing.

It's Tony Said. I met this white guy yesterday. He was so sweet. Gave me money just to give to me. And now going to the lead store today. Girl, I don't like how this is starting off, girl.

Beatrix, thanks so much for the 11 roses. Danielle said, how do I get through dating in my early 20s? It's so awful by not taking it so seriously.

Like so many women are putting like I want to say like 50 into love and 50% into career. Girl put like.

50% into career, 25% into other self improvement and 25% into dating. The is not real and these men are not serious at that age. Like for educated men, they really don't want to settle down until 32 when they go through their second puberty.

LA said good morning or good morning. D Trick said, where can I stream your podcast friend? Apple Stitcher, Spotify? It's everywhere. Just search me. Girl Coach Anwar get your guy coaching. That's the name of my company, the name of my podcast and my program.

Yeah. Kanisha Said, just seen you your video about dating white men. Do it girl.

I've done it. No complaints girl. 5 star Amazon rating, 5 star Uber rating. Driven everywhere.

Delivery on time, quality intact.

Jam on it. Thank you so much for the two roses. Lissandra thank you so much for the four roses. It's Sonny said I started dating white men 10 years ago. I never looked back. Okay girl. Margaret loves it. When do I catch your podcast girl I have almost 100 episodes on my podcast. It's like a top 50 relationship podcast in the U.S.

Start Girl. It'll take you a while to finish.

User 416 said, I tried dating apps had no luck. I was humbled quickly. What does that mean when you say humbled? Girl.

Good morning Kaylee.

Sh said I got a cassette tape of this song downstairs. I know that's right. Sarah Joseph said I miss you. Miss you too girl. User1234 said, I took your advice and went to a rooftop at one hotel and met a successful provider. Get it girl. DG said I had amazing date last night. Good good morning. Jam on it. Hello Susie J. Hello Holiday. Good morning Sasha King Coco said met someone wants to take it slow. Been a month has not asked but he does so many nice things for me. Has not asked what? Asked you to be his girlfriend? No girl we want, we don't, we don't want that until months two or three.

Matrix thank you so much for the seven Roses girl.

It's Sony Said I'm telling you once you date a white man you will not want to go back.

Girl Once you date white.

It might be just right.

Date everybody girl. You know if you know me, you know me. Date everybody and see who treats you the best.

Joe said, how do you think dating will change with the debt, financial crisis and the shrinking middle class? Girl the middle class has already shrunk. Girl, you know how you have mad shrinkage in your hair? That's what the middle class is giving right now. So it's already there. Which means. And this is the exact. This is what I talk about when I talk about Houston. And each town, girls know about this. There are either people, like, at minimum wage level or people at the engineer doctor level. And so it's going to be actually really hard to date because those people at the. At the, like, higher socioeconomic level level will have so many more options. And so, you know, for every one guy that's there, it'll be eight, ten, sometimes even 30 women that are. Look, are. That are for one guy in some of these bigger cities, which will make it very. It will make it harder for successful women to find a guy. Unfortunately, the gag is, though, don't go down.

Don't. Don't go down.

Yeah.

Christian said, Amor, your smile is so nice. Thank you, girl.

Justine said, how do I stop being lusted and actually love? Well, here's the thing. Most guys are looking for sex and find love along the way. So it really depends on, like, how you're dressing or if you're on the apps, like, what pictures you use. Girl, keep it covered up. Girl, I want you giving Banana Republic. I don't want you giving Fashion Nova. Do you know what I mean? And, like, some of the girls will give you that over the shoulder, like, picture where, like, nobody's looking at your face, everyone's looking at your butt. Don't give those pictures. Don't give a picture where you're sitting down somewhere and you have a short skirt on and your slit is all the way almost up to your, like, hip bone. Girl, don't give those, because when you lead with that, that's all they're gonna look at you for. And this is not me trying to tell you how to express yourself as a woman. I'm saying this because I don't want you bringing out the wolves. And maybe you might be doing. Doing that. Unfortunately.

Tiara said, met a flight attendant guy. Seems nice, but always gone. Also, girl, those flight attendant guys, some, most of the time, are hoes or super gay.

Yeah. He said, can you talk more about curated spaces? Yeah. My last video, I was in the amex Lounge in LaGuardia, and, girl, the. The men were mening. They were everywhere. And guess what, girl, I didn't see not one ring. Now, maybe that was by design, but I don't really think so. And so curated spaces are places where not everybody can get into?

Yeah.

So whether it's certain clubs, membership, country clubs even, I don't really think so.

And so curated spaces are places where not everybody, like, invisible place, invisible velvet ropes, where not everyone's going to go. Like you can get into.

Yeah.

So whether it's certain clubs, membership, country clubs, even museums, unfortunately, if there might be a stigma, like, oh, I'm not ready for that. Like, invisible place, invisible velvet ropes, where not everyone's going to go, like museums, unfortunately, if there might be a stigma, like, oh, I'm not ready for that. But the guys that are open to that have a different but the guys that are open to that have a different level of self concept, and those are the sorts of guys that you want to at least engage with. Okay.

Opaque siren. Thank you so much for the rose. Najwa said, any advice for the girls in their twenties? Like I was saying before, girl, don't take it seriously, because nine times out of 10, you're not going to find your guy in your 20s. Especially as a black woman, most black women are getting into their most. The best relationships between the ages of 35 and 45.

Yeah.

JXDA said, and why I colonize one man. I'm working on another. Oh, my gosh, y'. All. Oh, my gosh.

Level of self concept. And those are the sorts of guys that you want to library mouse that I want to colonize, but I never get a chance. Why? Girl d said, what do you mean by colonize? It means, girl, talk to these white men, engage with these white men, be courted by these white men, girl. Especially on Columbus day, which is happening tomorrow. Why not? Girl, this is how we start our reparations.

What do I think of the league app? I think it's way too expensive for what it gives.

Are you going grocery shopping? Okay. You're just getting ready?

Oh, the Halloween stuff. Okay.

Oh, they're gonna help. Okay.

Charity said, are there any red flags I should watch out for when dating an attorney? Yeah, girl, if he wants to debate all the time, he wants to go back and forth. No, girl. Cuz then you always going to be somebody on somebody's witness stand. Girl, that's. That's the biggest thing. That's the thing that doesn't feel good.

So tonight, the. The playlist is all about.

R B, man. Honey.

Beatrix, thank you so much for the seven roses.

Remember this song, y'? All?

John Legend put his foot in it. I was ready for all of it. Now let's go.

Pms. Jl1. Just let go of my 2 year on and off situationship. Sleeping. Much better. Love your content. Yes, girl. Yes. I love that.

Ruby said advice on dating a guy that is stingy with spending money. Here's the thing. I think that.

Our job is not to be in their wallet. They just need to take care of the dates that you go on. Now if he doesn't want to go on the dates that you want to go on, then that's a problem. Yeah, he should be one of at least three people that you're dating right now.

Yeah.

Ruby said advice on dating a guy that is stingy with spending money. Here's the thing. I think that.

Our job is not to be in their wallet. They just need to take care of the dates that you go on. Now if he doesn't want to go on the dates that. But if he's like, no, I don't want to go out with that. That's too much money. Let alone no problem.

No problem whatsoever.

Nothing is an issue. Cool runnings. Peace, man. You want to go on, then that's a problem. Yeah, he should be one of at least three people that you're dating right now.

Yeah, but if he's like, no, I don't want to go out with that. That's too much money, let him know, no problem. Thank you so much for the 12,000 likes. If there's anything that's that I'm saying that's resonating with you, tap the screen. No problem whatsoever.

Double tap, triple tap. Honey, let's get the party started.

Think it's an issue. Cool runnings. Peace, man.

Thank you so much for the 12, 000 likes. If there's anything that's that I'm saying that's resonating with you, tap the screen. Double tap, triple tap. Get the party started.

Royal star walker, I'm divorced and I.

Think it's done for me. It's not done for you, girl.

Not at all. When. When there's a breakup, when there's a divorce, so many people think that they're a failure and that it's never going to happen for them. Do you feel that way when you apply for a job and then you don't?

Royal Star Walker, I'm divorced and I think it's done for me. It's not done for you, girl.

Not at all. Don't get it. No. You're like, okay, let me just. Let me apply to five or six more.

When. When there's a breakup, when there's a divorce, so many people think that they're a Failure. And that it's. Yeah. And let. Let's keep it rocking. And that's how I want you to be. Be thinking about this.

Opaque said, I'm on the relationship struggle bus. New Jersey is the Sahara. Yeah, girl. The girls in New Jersey, if you're close to nyc, most of my girls in New Jersey generally get what's never going to happen for them. Do you feel that way when you apply for a job and then you don't get it? No. You're like, okay, let me just me apply to five or six more. Yeah. And let, let's keep it rocking. And that's how I want you to be. Be thinking about this. Guys in Long island and Queens.

Yeah.

Opaque said, I'm on a relationship struggle bus. New Jersey is the Sahara. And Toria Thompson, how do you start your dating journey in your early 30s? I've never had to work a girl. The girls in New Jersey, if you're close to nyc, most of my girls in New Jersey generally get with today before, do you feel like you're working now? Girl, that's the question. And just FYI, for guys in Long island and Queens.

Yeah.

For the ladies that are like, you know what? I am really tired of doing this on my own. And Toria Thompson, how do you start your dating journey in your early 30s? I've never had to work. Not getting anywhere, girl. Last week, three of my clients got into an amazing relationship. And the week before that I was in LA at a wedding. Today before, do you feel like you're working now? Girl, that's the question. And just fyiing for one of my clients. So please understand that it's very doable for you, but you just have to know how to the ladies that are like, you know what? I am really tired of doing this on my own and not getting anywhere. Girl. Last week, three of my clients got into an amazing relate and have a strategy around it. And then this is the part where people get tripped up. You gotta heal.

You gotta heal relationship. And the week before that, I was in LA at a wedding. Especially if you're a black woman, it's not enough to go to a matchmaker because there's stuff inside for one of my clients. So please understand that it's very doable for you, but you just have to know how to date and have a strategy around it. And then this is the part where people get tripped up. You gotta heal.

You gotta heal. Us as black people as we're raised, because we're raised differently, that we gotta heal to make, especially if you're a black woman, it's not enough to go to a matchmaker, because there's stuff in soxtra that we have the best relationship of our lives. Yeah, Le G, thank you so much for the rose. Justice said, Amore, Please write a book for us. I'm writing it. I wrote a book, but it was so generic. And I was like, I gotta make this book out of us as black people as we're raised, because we're raised differently, that we gotta heal to make sure that we have the best relationship of our lives. Yeah, Le G, thank you so much for the rose. Justice said Amore, Please write a book for us. I'm writing it. I wrote a book, but it was so generic. And I was like, I gotta make this book.

Like, BW inspired. So I'm literally going through the book and making it for black women. Yeah. I was like, y' all supported me so much. Follow, support all of that. Like, I can't just because my. My publisher was like, no, we want to make it generic. We want to make it for every woman. And I was like, bitch, I'm not Whitney Houston. Like, BW inspired. So I'm literally going through the book and making it for black women. Yeah. I was like, y' all supported me so much. Follow, support all of that. Like, I can't just because my. My publisher was like, no, we want to make it generic. We want to make it for every woman. And I was like, I'm not Whitney Houston.

I'm not every woman. I'm not for every woman. I'm poor black woman, and that's it. So I'm rewriting the book to make it black woman inspired. Okay, I got you, girl. I got you.

I'm not every woman. I'm not for every woman. I'm for black women, and that's it. So I'm rewriting the book to make it black woman inspired. Okay, I got you, girl. I got you.

She is Niecy Said. And why? How do you not have a Netflix show, honey? Racism.

Sexism, classism, transphobia, homophobia. What else? Pretty phobia.

She is Niecy Said. Anwar, how do you not have a Netflix show, honey? Racism.

Sexism, classism, transphobia, homophobia. What else?

So, yeah, Pretty phobia.

Said the kids said, can you talk more about men who don't like their mom? Yeah, most men don't like their mom. Most black men don't like their mom. No, shade. Even though they might be doing things for their mom, they don't. They love their mom. But but they might not like them and I'll do a do a.

So yeah, sit the kids at can you talk more about men who don't like their mom? Yeah, most men don't like their mom. Most black men don't like their mom. No shade even though they might be doing things for their major video about this because most black women, most black moms are in their masculine. They don't they love their mom but they might not like them. And I'll do a do a skeleton which emasculates their boys. That or they enmesh the boys and make their sons, especially if they're in a single parent household into their surrogate partners. I think like single parent household major video about this because most black women, most black moms are in their masculine which emasculates their boys. That or they enmesh the boys and make their sons, especially if they're in a single parent household into their surrogate partners. I think like single parent household in the 90s were like 60, 70% of households.

So please understand this is like a major issue for black men.

Lachey said, I exchanged numbers with the Jamaican man from Miami, but the island boys make me numbers as they should. Both in the 90s were like 60, 70% of households.

So please understand this is like a major issue for black men.

Lashay said, I exchanged numbers with a Jamaican man from Miami, but the island boys make me numbers as they should. As they should. Getting with a guy from the Caribbean is scary. Do you know how you see all of those like men or individuals on boats trying to get to Florida or trying to get to someplace in Europe? That is the same sort of danger that you are in when you deal with a guy in the Caribbean. Jamaican, Haitian as they should. Getting with a guy from the Caribbean is scary. Do you know how you see all of those like men or individuals on boats trying to get to Florida or trying to get to someplace in Europe? That is the same sort of danger that you are in when you deal with a guy in the Caribbean. Jamaican, Haitian, Puerto Rican, Dominican as well. Girl, girl, it's 50. 50. It's life or death up in here.

Jen Puerto Rican Dominican as well. Girl, girl, it's 50. 50. It's life or death.

Honey. Opaque Siren said, once you go white you see the light, not the light, girl.

Lisa said, the colonial experience feedback was they love that I was successful and saw they are both over 55. Get it, get it.

Honey. Opaque Siren said, once you go white you you see the light not the Light girl.

Lisand said the colonial experience feedback was they love that I was successful and saw they are both over 55. Get It get it.

Get.

User 416 said, do you think it's best to pay for bumble? It depends. So this is what I think about for most apps you want to wait get.

User416 said do you think about two weeks? If you're still getting life after that second week pay for it, right? Some of the girls it's best to pay for mumble it depends. So this is what I think about for most apps you want to wait about two weeks if you're still getting life after that second week pay for it, right? Some of the girls pay for something for like six months and then at the second week dry as a Sahara girl. You don't pay for something for like six months and then at the second week dry as a Sahara girl. You don't want that. She is Nisi thank you so much for the lock and key.

I want that. She is Nisi. Thank you so much for the lock and key.

Angelique said so are we sure about this white man? We're not sure about all of them.

Angelique said so are we sure about this white men? We're not sure about all of them. But I think a third of them are worthy of your attention and energy. But I think a third of them are worthy of your attention and energy.