Ask+a+Dating+Coach+Q+and+A 1

It.

Get my together, y'. All.

Hello, hello, hello, hello.

Oh. Oh.

Hello, y'. All. I hope you all are doing well.

Are we doing all right?

Let me see. I'm trying to get my IG together.

But technology won't make me. Won't let me be great.

Yeah. How are we doing? I hope that you all are doing well. Yeah. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

For those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar White. I'm a dating coach for smart. Smart and successful black and brown women. And I am here to help you get your guy at the end of the day. Yeah, that's what I'm here to do. So check it out, right? If you want to learn a little bit more about what I do and all of that, you can click the link in my bio. I have a link for my podcast. The. The latest video that I put in my podcast was on Wednesday. The head of marketing for OkCupid. I also have a link to book a consultation call with me. So if you are interested in learning how to.

How to work with me, how to get your guy, please book a consultation call, apply to do so. Last week, we had three women get a great relationship. And then I just heard today that another lady in LA got her guy in the program. So I'm super excited about that. Honey, these ladies are getting their guy left and right, girl. I'm, like, trying to keep up. Okay, okay. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Because they're finally dating with strategy. They're. They know how to date now because they're in the program and they're doing the healing work that is so important. Because here's the thing, as a black and brown woman, it's not enough to just find a guy. You have to find a guy, and you're going to have to heal based on lived experience. Yeah. So I think that that is really important as you. As you understand and you do this work. Yeah. Oops.

For some reason.

IG is not allowing me to be great. That's okay, though. We keep on going, honey. We don't let lame technology get in the way. So weird. Poor connection. Honey. What is it?

Anyway, so for those of you that are new, what I do here is we talk about love, dating, relationships, and men. So if you are. If you are, like, interested in learning how to work with me, click the link in the bio. If not, that's fine, too. Check out the podcast or.

Continue on here. Ask your questions in here. I'm going to answer them. Thank you so much, Tati. Good to See you, girl. I'm going to answer all of them in the chat. You might have to be a little bit patient with me, because right now there's 120. But by the time we get really cooking in here, there'll probably be about 400 women in here. You know what I mean? You know what I mean, jelly bean? And if there's anything that I say while I'm coaching, while I'm talking. Spilling tea. Definitely tap the screen. Double tap, triple tap, right? Let's get these likes up, honey. Because.

Girl, a girl likes her likes. I like being like, girl, I don't know what else to tell you. Yeah, that's just my tea. Yeah. So we're gonna keep it real up in here. We're gonna have some fun. We're gonna do a kiki, right? Because we're all family up in here. We're all sisters.

So we're going to keep it real, and it's going to be nothing but love, okay? Hey, D. Hi, dg. Hey, Sarah. Joseph. She said, hey, bestie. Hey, girl. Hey, Destiny. Girl. Trauma mom said, I love your vibe. Thank you, Trauma Mom. Aaliyah said, hey. Hey, girl. L Dub said, looking forward to the Columbus Day updates. Honey, the Columbus Day Challenge is up and running. If y' all haven't. Hey, let me go in here, girl. Let me show you what the. Girl, the girls on IG are DMing me about the white men that they've already been talking to. Girl.

You hear me?

They are already letting me know they are all up in this. In this gig.

Girl, I get so many random DMs, girl, it's the gag. It's really a gag for me. Like, who are you? What? Girl, the girls, girl, they.

Now I'm, like, trying to figure out how to go.

Oops.

Girl, they're already showing me how they are. Girl, he's getting these white men. Honey, get. Get. Colonize the colonizer today and all week. You are going to have to date two white guys this week. I don't care. Do it and see what happens. This is really about.

Me wanting you to widen your net. This is about me wanting you to date differently for a different result. And quiet as it's kept. Girl.

I want you to have some fun. I want you to expand your. Your horizons a bit, girl. Yeah. Good tatty. Hey, girl. How was dc? So I was in New York last weekend. I had a talk that I gave for 50 black women, which was really amazing. I. So, yeah, girl, she's on her. She's on her Tour. I'm gonna be in D.C.

Probably at the beginning of D of December actually.

So that's that on that. Honey.

Kiara said, do you have payment plans? I sure do, girl. I always have payment plans. And the reason I have that is because many of us have money wounds, me included. And honey, I can't be putting a large amount of money on things I need to do a little bit at a time to keep that cash flow cute, honey. You know what I mean? You know what I mean. Jelly Bean. Yeah. Cocoa Blue said I have the worst social anxiety. It's crippling. Girl. What do you think is going to happen? What do you think is going to happen? You know what I. You know what I know? I, I know that these men are little boys. And the same energy that you give to your nappy headed cousin. No shade. Is the same energy you need to be given to these boys. Yeah. And they love it. By the way, Black Beret said, what do you think about meeting men at conferences? I think it should be like your top three things to do. But the thing is there just aren't as many conferences. Yeah. So Afro tech is going to be cute, but everybody's going to be going to Afro Tech to try to get a guy. And you know, we don't. I'm not here to give you the 101 Dating 101. I'm here to give you the dating honors or the dating ap. So.

You want to go to more tech conferences. You want to go to the retail conference in Las Vegas every year. Right.

You want to go to conferences that aren't going to be hyper populated with other black women that are going to be thirsty to try to find some tech guy. Yeah. Because polite as it's kept, the girls are going to be up and at them. Yeah. You want to go to, you know, an accounting conference. Girl, you want to go to another sort of tech or engineering conference. Okay.

Teddy cooking. Thank you so much, girl, for the garland headpiece. Appreciate all your support. Cali Grit said, tune in daily for my amar tips. I know that's right, girl. Me too.

Patricia Rami. Thank you. Thank you so much. She said hi from Kenya. I love. I know that's right. Supreme tea. What's the name of the podcast? P.S. love you. Love you too, girl. The name of the podcast is called get your guy coaching. Yeah. Because we're gonna, we're. Girl, we're here because we got to get our guy. And not just come over here and get our guy but like get our guy too. Because at the end of the day, you can get a guy. Girl. But if you don't understand them, girl, the relationships are going to be with a fool. Yeah. Let me see what the IG girls are talking about. But what if y' all have been good friends for two years after the breakup? Girl, that's a boundary violation.

Why are you good friends with someone that you broke up with? The thing that you broke up with or about is the thing why you probably don't want to be friends with that person. Yeah. So please understand that that might be a boundary issue. D Riggs on IG said, I met a tech guy at the gym. African dude, very intense.

I have no commentary about African dudes. No shade.

Hey, Pre. Girl, Nat said. He said he was interested in me. I asked, but hasn't texted me in two days. Never ask a man if he's interested in you. Never ask a man if he's missed you.

Your future husband's gonna reach out to you every day. He's not gonna miss a beat. Yeah, so drop him. He ain't into it. Girl.

Yes, honey. Someone said. Just said just say no, girl. They said, dare these fools?

Yeah. Xnxy said just broke up with my boyfriend. He said he was gonna bring my stuff on Sunday. Never came and hasn't responded to text. Do I reach out again?

Girl, what is the stuff? It depends, girl. Now if it's that $50 face face mask, girl. Girl, we can't give up on that. But if it's dress from Fashion Nova, girl, let it, let it be. Let it be. Yeah.

Teddy said so being in the DMV so recommended I change my location unhinged to elsewhere.

What do you mean? What do you mean, girl? What do you mean? Are you asking if you should change your location? First of all, if you're in the dmv, you should not be unhinged.

Girl. Hinge in the DMV as a black girl is like going to all white sorority girl uncomfortable. Don't do it.

6 Cartel said is not talking for a few days a red flag, but still sending memes. Yes.

Yes. Girl. Girl, he's giving you friend energy with the memes.

Don't do that if you're not. Here's the thing about consistency. A guy can give you a good morning text every morning, and he's quote unquote considered consistent. But you have to. You have to evaluate not just the quantity of the communication, but also the quality. And if there's no depth there, girl, there's no depth in your relationship. I just wrote an article for EXO Nicole where I talked about in. In between date behavior. Right. Between date behavior. Bdb. And this is what's. This is what we have to prioritize when it comes to these. Your dating life and these men. Yeah. Tomorrow I think I have an article coming out for with the Grio. So look out for that. I think it'll be cute and fun.

ATL Empress said, hi. Hi, girl. Hi. Phil Hill. Queen G said, I like listening to you because I love the sound of your voice. Thank you. Teddy. Thank you so much for this cowboy hat. Selena said, hey, you're amazing. Thank you. Ellie said, hey, I'm a girl. Hey, girl. Good to see you, girl. Queen G, thank you so much for the 13 roses peanut. Thank you so much for the heart me. Kelly grit said, Anwar is skinning today. Girl. Am I, girl. You know what I'm giving. I'm giving. My new thing is rose water. Girl. Thank you. Tik Tok. And then always the.

The Snell Muin Cross rx. Girl. The combo is like.

Helping helping your girl.

Yeah. Tabisha. Hey, girl. Danielle said, do you provide consulting on dating profiles? Only for my clients. That's the first thing that I do when they come into either the get your guy club or the VIP program. Yeah. And if you want to learn more about those, definitely, you know, fill out an application. The link is in my bio to book a consultation call. Yeah.

Kylie GR said, I'm so glad people are opening up their options. Me too. Girl. Oh, girl. And here's the thing. I am.

I don't care who you go with. I just want you. Girl. Here's the thing.

Some of you all are dating as if you are at a local park and some randos are racing and you're just gonna take the winner. I want you to go to the Olympics and I want you to find the best of the best of the best, which means you have to expand for the entire world and figure out who's the best guy for you in the.

Not just.

Who wins a random race. Girl. Yeah, we're looking for the best of the best.

Uchi Mars had colonized them back by talking to two white men this week. Yes, ma'. Am. Because we are dating them two by two by two. Honey. Vacation Bible School did me well.

Dr. Kendi said. Wait, the Columbus Day Challenge is about dating white men? Yes, Girl. You're just getting that now? Not you, Dr. Candy. With a doctor in front of your name, girl. And just getting that right now, girl. Yes, ma'. Am. What did you think it was dating the natives? No, girl, that's what the colonizers did.

Julia said, no lie. I just had my first date with him yesterday and he planned another date for next week. Get it?

Angela Elaine Brown said, dating advice for dating a college professor. Girl, if he is always trying to be right because oftentimes that's what they do. They feel like they could never be wrong. Girl, you gotta drop him immediately. I literally, I used to teach and I used to be around all of these professors that thought that their shit did not stink and that shit got annoying really fast. So that's what you want to look out for when you're dealing with some college professors. Yeah. Sandra said, yes, colonize the colonizer. I know that's right. Kelly Gritz said, 2 Dang, girl, what's wrong with dating 2? Girl.

I could get 2 tonight. Tonight, girl.

One girl said, Let me put on my bad wig and get the Whole Foods immediately. I know that's right. Girl.

Said, hey, from El Paso. Hey, girl. Kim said, these dating apps have an awful batch. My goodness, girl. It's just representative of what's out there. I think that the expectation is that it's going to be better, but you have to enter into dating with no expectations. Yeah. And thank you all so much for the 12,000 likes here on Tik Tok. Y' all doing the damn thing. Let me see what the girls on IG are talking about because you know, I'm not going to leave you hanging, honey. Jasmine said, what app should we be on in Atlanta? I think Bumble and OkCupid personally, JB Xoxo said, what apps would you recommend for Buffalo and why? I'm pretty much on the Canadian border. No, that's right, girl. Well, first of all, you should have that, that, that radius wide hunting because we gotta get, we gotta hook into those Toronto babes. Yeah. So you want 100, 150 miles and then see Buffalo?

Well, it depends on how old you are. So if you're like let's say 30, 38 plus 40 plus, you'll probably want to be on Match Match and Bumble and OkCupid.

Michelle said, what's your recommendation for dating in Nashville? Date in the suburbs, girl, don't date downtown.

Hermes said, at which point do you move from exclusivity to a committed relationship? In my program, they're one in the same. We don't have that step by step. And if a guy is trying to talk about exclusivity before committed, he playing games with you, girl.

Don't do that. We're two and a half months in. Do we need to have a conversation about it before this next commitment? No girl, the conversation needs to be about being in a committed relationship. By two and a half months a man will deeply connect with a woman and he will know if he wants to do it or not. And if he gives you that half assed oh, let's just like exclusively date versus be in a committed relationship. He's playing games. Games girl. Monopoly, Fake money, fake love, fake attention. Siobhan said, why do I feel like I'm doing something wrong if I talk to more than one guy? Cuz these men and the patriarchy has conditioned women to think that they can't have options. Which leaves women in a disempowered state. The best thing that you can do is date so many different guys so that you're not tripping on any one of them cuz they're, most of them are going to fall by the wayside girl. You hear me? Don't feel wrong girl. These men have been dating multiple women for centuries.

Date them all. Let them compete girl. Yeah, it's like you know the old and Roman times where they're fighting for your love girl Let them do that. Think about it like that.

Determined to live said any hope for Phoenix, Arizona? Girl Only a little bit girl. I think Phoenix is like the fifth hardest city to date in after Miami, Louisiana, Houston and Atlanta. Yeah.

You gonna have, you're probably gonna have to date someone that's non black and Phoenix girl. No shade.

Michelle, Yvonne said yes. I go to the rich areas in Nashville. White men are scared to talk to me. You're gonna have to open up the space. You're gonna have to have conversations with these men honey. You're gonna have to. If their, if their feet are pointing at you know that they're into you so you get to give them a cute little compliment. Oh my God, I love your shirt. Where'd you get it from? Boom.

Then they're gonna have a conversation with you and fall in love with you girl.

Simple as that.

Mademoiselle said where to find look for men in Montreal. Well girl, don't do it in Montreal. No honey. Well I'm here in the west island and where I live there are like one out of the three people that I see are in some sort of interracial relationship. Girl so you want to girl come to Beaconsfield. Don't go to Westmount girl Go to, come to Beaconsfield. Come to Kirkland honey. Come to Bay D', Orfe come to il perrot voudore pankor comme oui. Okay, let me see what the Tik Tok girls are talking about. Tati, thank you so much for the 43 roses. Amanda, Nicole, thank you so much for the three roses.

Queen G said, I live in a neighborhood full of successful white men, but they're so much younger than me. Girl, the gag is that the young. The young men are where it is at right now. So many of us think that, oh, my God, they're so young, they're not going to be together. Girl, the young men are coming through, and the old men are. Girl, crippling through. Girl. Not doing much of anything. Yeah.

About 80% of my clients are getting with men that are three to six years young, younger than they are, and they are leading successful, healthy relationships. So I want to offer that to you when you are. You're dealing with a guy that's, let's say, three years, six years younger than you. Girl, let them. Let them be young, girl. Let them keep you young. Yeah. Jasmine said, the young ones are coming with it. They sure are, honey, and you better let them.

Dr. Riggs said, I'm 57 and my boyfriend's 43. Yes, Lord, honey, I know that's right. Girl, get it and don't forget it.

Mishi's world said, oh, my God, I missed you in nyc, girl. I missed everybody except for my. My talk.

Honey, I was there for business. They said, are you there for the border control set? Are you there for business or pleasure? And I said, business. Tati said, okay, I would love to see you, girl. I know. Well, you need to become a client, girl, so that you can come to the dinners that I come. That I. That I organize every time I go to a big city. I was in LA a couple of weeks ago, and I had dinner with 15 of my clients there doing the damn thing. Yeah. Close it. And I have a question. When it comes to dating, is it a red flag if a guy doesn't compliment you? This. This is such a good question. And I'm literally going to do a video about this tomorrow. Yeah.

What I'm going to say is that, no, it is not. It is not a bad thing if he doesn't compliment you. Here's what I know. Because I work with smart and successful black and brown women all day, every day, and because you all have. Have been. Have been raised to only be complimented on your intelligence, great grades, you're so good at school, you're so smart, so many of Y' all are not being told that you're beautiful and that you're. That you're gorgeous and pretty. So many of us are hyper focused on that or hypersensitive to that. And so when a guy does that, y' all are thinking that, oh, my God, he really likes me. Me and he. Right. Do you understand that, like, no shade, the catfish of the sea do that.

The guys that are hyper focused on the physicality do that? Those are not the guys you want to be in a relationship with. Yeah. So no, girl, please understand that his effort around organizing a date, asking you out within two to three days after that initial date, that's what you want to be evaluating. Okay?

Yeah. So I hope that is helpful for you.

Oh, my God. Lost my place. While I'm. While I'm finding my place, y'. All, if you want to work with me, book a consultation with me.

This is. If you want to do this work now, please understand that this would be the perfect time to do this work because honey cuffing season is here and we get to maximize it if you want. If you want to.

Hope said guys frequently friend zone me after a few months of dating. What can I do? People are. Are friend zoning you, probably because you haven't made an emotional connection with you.

Like, you probably are not being vulnerable and so they don't feel safe emotionally with you.

So this is probably why. And there's probably an opportunity to maybe sit a bit more comfortably in our feminine energy as well. Kim said, do you do matchmaking? No, I'm not a matchmaker. I'm a dating coach. So I help people learn how to date and how to heal themselves. Yeah, a matchmaker will just throw guys at you. And here's the thing, and this is no shade. Many of us think that we're ready for a relationship, and we are not. So getting with a matchmaker is not going to help you, because if you still are, no shade a judgmental bitch, it's not going to work. Yeah. Ashanti said, what's wrong with African men? Girl, I didn't say anything was wrong with them, did I? Here's what I know. I know that culturally, sometimes that can be really difficult for a lot of African American women. Yeah, there's a different level, there's a different expectation and power dynamic in some of those relationships. And some African men will take some of those cultural norms and try to force that on to African American women who really have been, unfortunately, you know, culturally, have tried to be controlled in a lot of different ways. So it can be very triggering for a lot of women.

Someone said, no shade equals all shade. Does it?

Shaysoamazine said, I want to hear your thoughts on African guys. I think that there are some amazing African men out there. Some of these African men, some of these engineers who really do want to give space for women to just be themselves. Awesome, right?

They're just not for everyone. Yeah. The thing about African men is that in my experience, they will try to butter you up, girl. Don't be surprised. On the second date, he's like, I want you to be my wife. You're the most beautiful thing in this world. They're going to try to butter you up, girl. And then for the girls that aren't used to it, right. That aren't used for to all the buttering, girl. You get stuck. You start slipping and sliding. Yeah. Slip and slide. And you get caught up in the game.

And is a lot of it is game.

Sandy Eugene said, fundraising dinners. Yay or nay. I always wanted to go to dress up. Good to find a man. Yes, girl. 100%.

Milena Milana said, what should we be on? Bumble? Okay, Cupid, if you. You are 40 plus match.

Ria said, hinge and the DMV is traumatic, girl. Don't do it. I wouldn't. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

You know what I mean? Jelly Bane.

What is this girl doing?

Okay, let me see what Sandra said. Is the article live? Not yet. I think it's going to be. The editor said it's going to be live tomorrow.

Oh, the Exo Nicole one. Yes, it's there. I think it's like on the relationship page.

Shantiqua said, I know you said, don't like a guy until the third date, but help. Oh, girl. Girl, what are you doing? What are you doing? Okay, here's the thing, girl. Here's what's gonna help you understand where you're at. You can only know 3% of a guy per week. So if you've only known him two weeks, you only know 6% of him. You cannot like a whole man if you only know 6% of him. You get to like 6% of him, girl. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't, but what I am saying is that you can't make that the totality of who he is. Mackenzie said, love you and more. I tell all my friends about you. Thank you, girl. I appreciate that. Dee said, in Australia, I get the feeling most white men are intimidated or aren't attracted to black women. Probably the case. Girl Fairy said, I love your voice. Thank you, girl. Gentle woman said, hey amore. Hey, girl. DG said. He said there's a hundred of me out there after our date and that I think I'm superior. What do I do? Girl, we do nothing. We block, we keep it moving. We talk to other people. That's not safe. He's trying to humble you. That's toxic behavior. We don't engage in that. Okay?

Rhonda said, hey, love your content. You're the best. Thank you, girl. Coco Blue said, I heard great things about rose water, girl. Took me a couple weeks to get on it and now like should I spray right now, girl? Cuz I spray that. Girl. Just wet. Honey, look out like I'm in the sauna. Honey. Girl, it's. Girl. The girl. The what? I. I just got a facial on Friday before my. Before my.

Before my talk, girl. And she was saying, girl, it's all about the hydration.

All about the hydration?

Yes. I. I do use ordinary products. Hyaluronic acid, girl.

Is it acid, girl? And the neum. Neominoside, Girl, you know I don't know those names, girl. I'm a dating coach. I'm not an esthetician.

Sick and tired. Said been on dates with a seemingly good guy, but he's not Christian and that's a deal breaker for me. Girl, keep on going out with him. Please.

Please, please, please, please, please.

Who knows if he's treating you amazing and great. Let's see where it goes.

Lord has said, do you like Shara 7 or Ms. Sprinkle? Sprinkle. I think her and I align with about 80% of what we say. The other 20% where she's talking about using men and getting with older guys and things like that, we kind of diverge.

Tabisha, thank you so much for the three finger hearts, girl.

Mar said, I'm dating for money and not love. Well, girl, it looks like you're looking for a job then. Because when you're dating for money, you're looking for a new employer, which means that the guy that you're with will be your employer and you will be an employee, which is different than being a wife or a girlfriend.

Maya Said just came from my first coffee date with a white boy. Probably gonna plan the next one soon. I know that's right. Girl. Get.

Taylor Said. What if he asked you to wait for him? You just let him know I'm going to continue dating because I don't wait for anyone. And if. When you're ready, reach out to me and if I'm single, I will consider responding. But if I don't respond, it means that I'm taken or that I've decided not to engage with you.

Girl. He snoozes, he loses.

Yeah.

Novi said, why does Texas have so many waste men? Well, here's what I will say. I think that.

The.

Salaries in Texas are generally lower and.

Many of the guys are not as educated. That's not like I'm not coming for them. But what I'm saying is that when you don't have as much education, it'll be harder for you to make as much money. And if you're not making as much money in a guy's mind, he has to make a certain amount or 50 feel a level of security and stability within his career to want to provide for a family and to want to settle down. So you know, Texas is, is the place of the have and the have nots. You got some uber rich people there and then you many of them don't have, you know.

Much unfortunately. So that's what makes Texas really hard to date in. There's like not a lot of middle class economically but also in love.

Alex said, what's your opinion of the best dating apps in Memphis? Girl, try try Bumble. Girl, try Hinge.

Tell me the difference between commitment and exclusivity. Lolo for Shosho asked. Exclusivity is I'm just dating you. Right. But it's still super casual. Commitment is I'm just dating you and I am signing up for your emotional well being. Your emotional well being is my responsibility. There isn't a deeper emotional connection and responsibility that happens when you are in a committed relationship.

Kenise said, white men don't hit on me. Why? Here's the thing. Y' all think that like people are supposed to hit on you. Yeah. A lot of people aren't the kind to like kind of give that. Here's the thing. White men don't think that y' all are checking for them.

So instead of risk being rejected, they're just not going to do it. Yeah. That's why you're gonna have to open up the space. You're gonna have to start a conversation and girl, they will make it happen once they know that you are interested in them or that you give them the green light. Yeah. Althea said, you're in Montreal. I am. I am with my French Canadian husband and our three children living here. I used to live in California.

The backup said lmfao. I I'm scared to give the young ones a chance. But maybe I need to switch it up. And you do. And you do.

Aria said hey, amore. Hey.

Latifah Music Said, he tells you to stop pursuing your passion. What do you do? Well, girl, it depends on where you're at in your passion. Here's what I think that you should do, because he might be looking out for you. No Shade, ask two more of your people if you should stop or not. And if the majority is saying, hey, girl, I don't know about this. He might be on to something. Yeah.

Jess Exhale said, and what are your thoughts on Facebook dating? Oh, I'm not a fan of it.

I don't think much good can come of it. Yeah. Seven Ventures. Thank you so much for the heart. Me Mav Said, how much is your consultation? It is free, but you have to apply for it and we only accept those that are ready to invest. Where love is a high priority, where you're interested in one of my programs and you want to do the work this, like, in the next month. If you say you want. If you're not interested in my programs or you want to do it in three to six months, we're not going to take your. Your application.

Yeah, unfortunately, we just have way too many applications to go through.

While I'm finding my place. Just want to remind you if you're having a good time, if you're learning things, if you're like, oh, my God, I like, I really need help on this. Like, I'm not. I don't know as much as I thought I. I knew, like, I need to work with him. Click the link in my bio and book a consultation call. Okay. Close Said, thank you. I love all your advice. Thank you, girl.

Melissa, my favorite dating coach. Thank you, girl.

Steph said, I get irritated with men at the little, littlest inconvenience. That means that you have a lot of healing to do that when you're getting triggered by the things that guys do. You're not ready to date. You're not ready to be in a relationship. I mean, like, if you're starting and stopping, it means you're getting triggered and you don't know how to deal with them.

You have to heal. You need to work with someone, probably a therapist or a coach, so you can work through all that shit. Girl. Yeah. This is. This is my value add for my clients and what I help them do. Yeah. Now, do I think that you can do it on your own? Hell yeah. Right? Y' all are amazing individuals. Do I think that this can happen faster for you if you work with a dating coach. Hell, yeah. Right? This is the difference between finding your guy in six months and finding your guy in six years. And you need to determine whether you want to wait that long or not. There are some women that don't.

Bianca said, how do you feel about dating co workers? I would not recommend it personally. Often times your reputation will get hurt because of it.

Lashay said, Bumble in San Diego area isn't good at all. Yes. Yeah, girl, you're gonna have to put your location in Carl's bag and get some of that Orange county tea. Girl.

Let me see what y' all are talking.

Angie said, I just got a guy's number. We've been texting for three days. Lots of flirting and he hasn't texted for 24 hours. Girl, he's not your boyfriend.

Girl, find another guy to talk to and text until he reaches back out. Girl, he can't be your be all end all. You don't even know him. You've just been texting him for three days. Girl.

Calm down. Yeah, and I say that with love and respect.

Dad said black women are too race loyal, so white men ain't gonna come up to y'. All. That's the T, girl. That's the T.

Eminata said, I started falling for him. Now he's telling me he overstayed his visa for port from Portugal. Let it go, girl.

90 Day Fiance is a really entertaining show, but you don't need to be on it.

Yeah.

Tatty, thank you so much for the heart me. If y' all are getting something from this live, tap the screen. Double tap. Thank you so much for the 30,000 likes. I so appreciate it.

Bronze said, are you taking clients? Because I'm hopeless. Yes, girl, we're always taking clients. Yeah, you can DM me on ig, we can talk about it or.

What have you. Yeah, we'll get you. We'll get you all situated. Aries ny said, wait. Coffee dates are okay? Yes, girl, they're okay. They're great.

Coffee dates are amazing. Wealthier men will want. Want to do a coffee date first. Many, many people are trying to do coffee dates, Black women, specifically, because they're trying to evaluate whether most of the time a black guy is broke or not. But the wealthier guys actually like coffee dates because they're not going to invest in something that they don't know of that's not going to give a return. Yeah, many of y' all are trying to date these men that you know, want to take you out on fancy things, fancy places, thinking that that means effort. It doesn't. If you have money, that's not effort.

Right. It's. It's akin to like you know, dating someone who drives a Mercedes or a BMW. It's flash. Do you understand that most rich men drive a Ford, a Honda or a Toyota because cars are depreciating.

And they only focus on things that appreciate.

Including the women that they date.

Bria said, any advice for single mothers, girl?

Get a babysitters club.

That's number one. Number two, you're going to have to get out of your masculine energy. You're going to have to take off the mom hat. You're going to have to put on the woman hat. You're going to have to let these guys do for you.

Yeah. Which is going to be a transition. If you're all day every day handling everything, you're going to have to center yourself. You're going to have to start doing things for yourself first and foremost and then everybody else seconds. That's how you get used to being treated like the queen that you are in in the love game.

Yeah. Mousing around by mouth Said, hi, I appreciate everything you do. I can't wait to schedule a consultation with you. I can't wait either, girl. Click the link in that bio girl, and let's get it cracking. We'll figure out where your opportunities are in your love life and then decide if it's a fit or not. It's really like a non pressurized call.

Fiona said, I'm in Montreal too. I know that's right. Justice said, you a father? I am. Samantha said saying hi from Cali. Love you Elmar. Thank you girl. Appreciate you Siobhan. Thank you so much for the paper crane. Shosha said, is there a significant difference in results in paying for a dating app versus using a free version? Hinge.

People are saying that there isn't a difference. Hinge There is a difference.

The other ones, there's not much of a difference. Obviously there are some apps where if you pay you'll be able to see who likes you or who's viewed your profile but in terms of the men that you are actually seeing, not a major difference. Except for Hinge.

RJ said, I make a good salary. Should I include my salary on a dating app? No, you should not be talking about how much you make.

That conversation needs to be had when you are going to be combining finances and moving in together.

Let me find my place.

Baloney Said, okay, I'm Worried slide. Let me go ahead and open. Bumble. Yes, honey. Let me know something. Let me tell you something. If y' all don't pass this Columbus Day dating challenge, honey, you're not. You're not going to be allowed in these lives no more. I want to tell you. I want to be real with you, girl. I want you out and about.

I want you. I want you dating these white men before these leaves change color. Honey, the men that you're on a date with need to change color before these leaves change color up in here.

Yeah.

What's Poppin Said? What are your thoughts on going 50, 50 with the man?

We don't do that here. That's illegal.

That's against the law on this live in this land.

Don't speak of it. No.

Let me see what y' all are talking about.

Aaliyah said, is living an hour away a big deal? No, not at all. About a third of my clients are with guys that are three hours or less.

Raised, so. Fine. Said, you have the best advice. Do you mind me asking your success rate? So for my VIP clients, roughly 85 to 90% of my clients will get their guy in the program. So it's a six month program, but if you don't get your guy in six months, we will support you for an additional six months. And so for the women that are doing the work for that amount of time, 85, 90%, depending on the seasonality, will get their guy. Yeah. Most of my clients in the south and in California, it will take about nine months. Yeah. To get their guy.

Amanda Nicole said, I love working with a therapist. It does reduce the time for healing 100%. Love that.

Chocolate kiss. Said, how long is too long to wait to go on a first date after meeting matching girl? If he hasn't asked you out within a week, girl, let it go.

Joanne said, as a Christian, should I give an atheist a chance? I think that you should date. I think that you should date. Dating does not mean you're going to marry a man.

You have to date. Dating is about learning about yourself, about improving yourself, leveling up. JW said, Finish 50% of my colonizer challenge tonight. Had a great time. Yay. Girl, we're colonizing these men. Don't let these men colonize you, girl. You. You gave me great with capital letters, girl. Yeah. Keep your power, girl. Keep your frame.

Tiger. A thank you so much for the heart.

DW Said, do I ask out the shy eastern European man who always flirts with me? No, you just need to call him Out. And you don't have to ask him out, girl. You just. This is what you need to say. Why do you keep on flirting with me?

And then you're giving him space to show his interest. And then you will inspire him to ask you out.

How many times a week should you see someone if you've been dating for eight months? Probably three to four times a week.

Aries said, my boyfriend only has white exes because of the area he grew up in. I'm a woman of color and he's black. I feel weird.

Have you talked to him about this?

Have you talked to him about this?

Akua, thank you so much for the rose.

Patience said dating a wealthy Black man. He's 40. I'm 34. Should I be testing his generosity? No. If he's taking care of the dates, that's all you need to know. Yeah. He doesn't owe you anything.

The only time a man will be generous of it if he's inspired to do so.

Yeah. Alex, thank you so much for the three roses. User 923. What's your IG get your guy Underscore coaching. But if you go to the link in my bio, I think that there's a. If you go to my bio, there should be a link to go into my ig if you're on Tick Tock. Yeah.

I am. Leticia F. Your information is always helpful. Thank you. I'll be reaching out after the holidays. Amazing. We'll have a big cohort starting in January, so I'll open up my, my, my, my programs in December so I can get y' all in there.

K. Beauty said, wouldn't accepting coffee dates make them see you settle for less? No.

No.

You have to understand something. You're going to be evaluating these men every step of the way. You're so hyper focused on how they view you, girl. Doesn't matter how they view you. It matters how you view yourself and how you hold yourself. They can have whatever opinion that they have of you, Right? Guess what? If they go on a cop, they take you on a coffee date, and then the next time they. They say, okay, now let's go to McDonald's.

You get to say no.

Say no. That doesn't. I. I don't feel comfortable going there.

Doesn't matter what they say. It's about you got the last word, girl. And if you're hyperfocused on their opinion, you've already lost.

You've already put yourself in a disempowered state in this, in this dating Game.

A man's opinion doesn't matter. Tiger A. Thank you so much for the five roses. Kim Plummer. Thank you so much for the rose.

The two Roses.

Andrea, Hope you're doing well.

Adore de Re said. Please give examples of feminine energy. Feminine energy is all about leading with feelings versus thoughts. It's about charity. It's about patience. It's about support. Emotional support. Yeah. It's about inspiring. Yeah.

Ambrosia 52. Thank you so much for the rose.

Mother goddess said I'm doing the challenge. Good girl. Good.

Let me see where I'm at.

For those that are new that are here, my name is Anwar White. I'm a dating coach for smart and successful black and brown women. If you have a question about dating, love, relationships, or men or women, we're inclusive here, Hunty. Put it in the chat and I will answer it.

As quickly as I can. I got a lot of people going. I got 28 people in IG. I have 429 people on TikTok. So be, please be patient if I don't get to your question in, like, five minutes. Okay.

Raquel said, dating advice for men having the pretty phobia towards you that you've mentioned, girl.

If you pretty girl, the men are going to be scared of you.

How do I know this? Because it's happened to me all of my life.

No, no, no, no. Seriously, no. When I was in school, I would always hang out with the very pretty girls, like the pretty of the pretty. And the reason. And I learned a lot when I would hang out with them in terms of. And the interesting thing was everyone was intimidated by their beauty. And it means that they're actually not getting as much life as you think that they are. So many women will be like, oh, my gosh, she's so pretty. She must get all the guys. You probably getting more action, more guys talking to you than them because the guys are not going to come up to them. And the guys that do come up to them are usually completely not even in their league. They're doing it to see girl. They're trying to, like, hit a home run here.

Yeah. So don't. Don't pray to be more beautiful, girl. That's not going to get you. The guys and the guys that are going for the beautiful girls. Most of those guys are not even real. They don't. They don't have any of the relationship.

Skills.