A short YouTube monologue (dating coach Anwar White) advising smart, successful Black and brown women who "don’t like men" on partner selection. The speaker argues these women often have reason to distrust men due to past disrespect, recommends they proactively choose partners in 2023, and endorses the "black cat — golden retriever" relationship metaphor: the listener as the cautious "black cat" should seek a gentle, respectful "golden retriever" (a nervous/perky man who treats them like a goddess) or a man who refrains from making immediate moves (signaling respect for boundaries). The piece ends with a CTA to book coaching.
Chapters
Women that do not like men by far make the best girlfriends. So this is 100% true. And in my experience as a dating coach for 13 years, for Black and brown women, it has mostly been the smart and successful women that have had or don't like men. And that is because most of the time, men, through school and work, have tried to humble them and disrespect them. And so y' all have really good reason to if you don't like men, too. But the reason why I'm on here is because I want you to do things differently in 2023. We are choosing the men and not waiting to be chosen. And as the original creator just said, you have amazing partnership skills and gifts, and so we can't just be giving that to anybody. So I'm here to share with you who I think you should be partnering with and focused on as you are dating if you don't like men. Okay? So if you've heard of this concept, it's a little bit trendy on TikTok. It is called the black cat golden retriever relationship. Hey, girl, you smart and successful girl that's listening to this. You're the black cat. You're the no nonsense girl. You need to be looking out for the golden retriever. He's the little bit nervous, a little bit pesky, a perky golden retriever. Many black cats out there are really only focused on their clone, someone that is just like them. But, girl, you don't want Mr. Nonchalant. You want Shalon, girl.
So we're looking for the golden retriever. So these are the two guys that I want you to focus on when you are dating. If you don't like men, I want you to focus on the nervous guy because the nervous guy likes you. He's nervous because he's putting you on a pedestal. He thinks that you are a goddess, and that's how you should be treated at the end of the day. So give the nervous guy a chance. And secondly, you should be going for the guy who doesn't make a move on you. The guy that doesn't make a move on you on a date is overly respectful of your boundaries. Just like golden retrievers will jump in front of the cat, but not actually jump on the cat. That's what you want in your guy when you are dating him, because these are boyfriend skills. These are the guys that are going to make great boyfriends and great husbands at the end of the day, and that's what I want for you. So if you need any help with this. Definitely book a call, and I hope this helps.
