Celebrity Energy in Dating with Whitney Uland

Hey girl. Welcome to the get yout Guy coaching podcast. My name is Anwar White, but you can just call me your own personal dating and relationship coach. Each week you'll hear actionable advice, tips and strategies that you can implement in your own love life. I'm talking about healing your heart, dating effectively and understanding men so that you can, you guessed it, get your guy. Are you ready to level up your love life? All right, let's go.

Hello, hello, hello, my lovely listeners. Thank you so much for joining the get your Guy coaching podcast. I have a very special guest. Whitney.

Do I call you the celebrity energy coach? What do I call you? Girl?

Yeah, Whitney is great. But yeah, I'm a celebrity coach. I help from good hearted artists, creatives and influencers become famous and I help people who are already famous become more famous and like actually enjoy being famous. It's so fun.

I love that because you know what, I'm pretty sure most people were like, I didn't even know that there was such a person. And they say that about dating coaching as well, but yeah, we're very real.

Oh, 100%. No, it's literally, I mean I did kind of like start my own niche. Like it's like because I basically feel like I became the coach that I always needed and like wanted because I just was, I just grew up and it was just so villainized to want to be famous. Like, you know, and there's this idea, you're a narcissist, you're full of yourself, you must be evil, whatever. And so yeah, I just grew up being like, wait, but I don't think I'm evil, but I still want to be famous. Is that a problem?

So anyway, so why did you want to be famous? Talk to us a little bit. I mean, sorry girl, like giving my God come into our your world.

Yes. So I mean tales oldest time. No, but I think it's, it's really like I really just was born being like I feel like I'm supposed to make a big impact. Like I remember being a little kid and like imagining doing like press interviews and just knowing that I was going to have a large like audience and you know, I'm, I'm a millennial. So I didn't grow up really with the Internet in the same way that young kids do now. And so there were no like influencers, there were no TikTokers or YouTubers or.

Anything like that influencer was the most popular girl in school.

Exactly, exactly. And her reach was just like being the queen bee at school and that was not me. That was not my journey at all, which I think I just always love to share. Because I think people think like, oh, if you want to be famous, you had to have been the popular girl. You had to have been really outgoing or whatever. And I was like such a little frickin weirdo. Like.

Yeah, exactly. So. But I did pursue acting. I kind of went that route and I had a lot of like. Like I have a BFA and musical theater. I like, you know, I know that I like had the talent, but I just couldn't quite like, pop off. I couldn't quite get the results. And I was just busting my ass. I felt like I was doing all the things I was very much. Like, looking back now I'm like, oh, I was very much in my masculine energy, just like really hustling and really just trying to make it happen. And that's, you know, essentially when I also kind of found, you know, my. My dad passed away. So I kind of also was simultaneously starting my own, like, healing journey. And that's kind of when I realized, like, oh, actually I can att instead of chasing them. And when I do that, that's what actually creates this energy that people want to watch. It's like this energy. It's the it factor. And I was kind of always taught that you had to be born with the factor. But through my work as an actor combined with my work as a mindset coach, I realized like, oh, no, that's actually just a skill that you can learn how to turn on. And it really is about, you know, stepping into that ability to be received and to be seen for who you authentically are. And so, yeah, I feel like my work, you know, I. I started coaching artists and actors and influencers kind of just to like, enjoy their life better. And then I signed my first celebrity client and I was like, wait a second, there is something here for me. And just realized I was like, oh, the only difference between people who are celebrities and the people who aren't is just that they believe that they can be and they believe that they're magnetic enough to have a big following. And so that kind of then I guess informed my journey of figuring out the. The curriculum that now I teach my clients. So.

So I love that so much. I am. My mom, when I was growing up, she used to call me Amor the star. Like, that was my name, right? So when you talk about, like just knowing it was. I also feel like it was part of my destiny as well. And I think it's the destiny of everyone, right? And I think that we have to find our own kind of stardom and find our own kind of celebrity energy. So me a little bit about what celebrity energy is. And before you answer that, let me just talk to the listeners a little bit, because I know they're like, girl, why do you have this girl on here? And I think the reason why I wanted Whitney to be on this podcast, and I don't really ask a lot of people to be honest with you, is because I think it is very important to be the celebrity of your own love life, to be the celebrity, AKA the main character in your relationships. And so I want to talk about this here and now so that you all can also understand, like, not just that you need to do it, but how to get there and some tangible steps in, yes, getting into this energy. So I just share that. But, girl, what is celebrity energy? Let's talk about it.

So celebrity energy, it's the factor. So it's kind of that, like, je ne sais quoi. People can't quite put a finger on it. I love, though, that your mom saw it in you, right? Your mom saw, like, anar the star, right? Like, you're going to be. You're going to have it. But not everyone necessarily. It's like, for me, I saw it in myself. I didn't really have that reflected back to me. Like, for me, it was very much like an uphill journey to be like, I think I have something inside of me. But at the simplest, it's. It's the. It's this it factor that makes people want to watch you and it makes people want to be around you. And I think, again, for a long time, like, people really were told that it's this. It's like something you're born with or something that you're not. But the truth is, we all have access to it. And what it really is is you being able to be witnessed and perceived in your authenticity for, like, who you authentically are. And so to me, I feel like it is something, you know, I say there's. There's four relationships that you have to work on if you want to be famous. One of them is your romantic life, right? Like your love life. It's like your ability to receive love from a lover also, you know, the ability, like, from your colleagues, also from strangers, and also from money. So there's just like all these different kind of aspects that we kind of have to look at to see what's blocking you from feeling safe, being authentically who you are. You know, it's really like, I think we, we have this idea of what a star is or what a celebrity is or whatever. And so a lot of people, a lot of people in my audience, it's like they, they almost try to be that. They try to shape shift to be that. Instead of, if you can just really tap into who you authentically are and put that on display and let people witness it, that's actually what makes you like the most magnetic. Like in acting, there's kind of this idea. You never want to do a scene with a dog or a baby because they will, what's called pull focus. Which means everyone just wants to watch them. And it's not because they're like so cute. It's because they're, they just are existing in this state where they're present and they're like uninhibited. They're unafraid to be seen. And so really the work is about like getting back into that. And that's when you start creating and really attracting opportunities, partners, you know, money, like literally all of the things I love. Something also, you know, about celebrity is it's, it's this idea. They're people who don't have to like play by the conventional rules of society, right? And so I think even in terms of like your love life or whatever, there's so much like on my, my algorithm right now, it's like constantly women telling horror stories about dating, constantly saying like these men, men are X, Y and Z. This is what's happening. And really to, to like the celebrity energy is deciding that you get to be the exception to those rules and that you get to have like a fairy tale ending. Your life gets to be like a rom com. You get to have the person who's chasing after you, you get to be the person who's pursued. And it's really about like celebrity energy. Like yes, it is something that will help you create the resource of fame. So if you wanted to go viral, you wanted to like be a successful actor, whatever, it will absolutely do that. But it's so much bigger than that. It's about becoming a celebrity. Like I use the phrase a self made celebrity, which is like, you know, the person who gets to attract all of the things that they want. And like, it's really about being guided by what your desires are, not just the limits of what society thinks is possible and what everyone else, what has happened in the past, right? Not making decisions based on painful things that have happened to you, but based on your dreams. Based on your future, based on what you want. And it's really about believing that you can be that person, if that makes sense.

Yeah, definitely.

What I know, though, is that people are afraid of it. People shy away from it. And I will just speak from. You know, I think I know that I was afraid of my celebrity energy. And for me, it was the background of being black and being gay were actually being seen. And being outside of the crowd meant oftentimes violence or negative reactions. And that can be really hard for marginalized communities, women, queer, whatever it may be. And so are there any other reasons why people would. That you see in your work shy away from their own celebrity energy that I think is very innate within them?

Yeah. And I love that you bring that up because it is so true. Like, so I was raised in a cult and I'm a queer woman. And so that was not. That didn't, like, that didn't vibe really well. Right. And so I think that, like, something that I see so often with my clients is it's people who come from, like, often multiple marginalized identities where it's like, you actually, there is actual literal proof that it wouldn't be safe for you to be who you are. Right? Like, it actually was not safe for me to come out until I was 27 years old and, like, out of my, like, community and fully had left the cult, like, all of those things. And so it really is, like, about doing that work and betting on the fact that you can be that exception. Right? And that's really. That's why I'm so passionate about this work is like, you, Anwar, by, like, being a, like, queer black man with such a, like, strong following, you are literally changing the game for other people, right? And for, like, you're. You're breaking generational patterns. And so that's really, like, what I'm. So why I'm so passionate about my work. And so many of my clients do come to me from multiple marginalized identities. That was such a long caveat to say, though, there are three things that are going to keep you from your celebrity energy. So the first one is just going to be, like, fear of the unknown, right? So if you think about, like, our brains, like, we've evolved from cavemen and cave women, right? And our brains, like a caveman's job was just to stay alive, just keep the species moving, right? And we didn't want to go out and, like, risk rejection. We didn't want to do anything that would be perceived as threatening. So to. To tap into celebrity energy to be, you know, especially, like, if you want to be famous, you want to have a platform. Your brain doesn't even understand what the Internet is like. If I was to say, like a million people are going to see you overnight. You can't even picture a million people, and yet you wake up all the time. I'm sure with a million.