A dating coach (Anwar White) evaluates popular dating apps specifically from the perspective of Black women, assigning letter grades and giving short rationales for each (e.g., eHarmony, The League, Raya — Incomplete; Plenty of Fish and Facebook Dating — F; Tinder and 'Be okay' — D; Coffee Meets Bagel and Hinge — C; Bumble, Match, and OkCupid — B). The speaker emphasizes that no app earns an A and stresses mindset: apps are tools, not guarantees, so play, set boundaries, and don’t take matches as destiny.
Chapters
Hey, girl. The biggest question I get as a dating coach is what app should I be on? And I wanted to go through and grade each of the top apps that I see. So many of the women that I talk to are going on. So here we go. So the first set of apps that get an incomplete grade are eHarmony, the League, and Raya. Why? Well, let's start with eharmony. Eharmony is like going to that white Christian church or that Mormon church, and you just feel really uncomfortable because you know that they're nice, but they don't like you. They're racist. That's eharmony, the league. If you went to an Ivy League institution, you already know what the league is giving. It's giving these white guys that want to, like, just chat with you but not really take you home. And the black guys are only looking for the white girls, no shade. And in terms of Raya, well, girl, if you want to hook up with a hot dj, Raya is your man. Raya is your app, girl. So these are the apps that have the incomplete grade.
Now, the apps that get an F in my book are Plenty of Fish and Facebook Dating. And I'll tell you why. Plenty of Fish. Yes. There's plenty of fish out there, girl. Lots of scammers, and Plenty of Fish has nothing but tilapia and catfish up in there. The lowest of the low in terms of Facebook dating. So many scammers and just generationally, like, you're probably not on Facebook a lot. And so there's just going to be a lot of boomers up in there. And I don't know if you're looking for a boomer. You might be, but Facebook Dating, so many scams out there. You don't want to do it. The apps that I give a D grade to are Tinder and Be okay. Now, Tinder is like that frat that is popular and a really good party, but you don't want to stay to the very end because it can get really dangerous. Some of my friends, I'm not in the frat or sorority scene, but some of my friends say it's like a cue party and Be okay is if you're on there, you already know. It's like a lot of guys that are those cousins that you don't really talk about because they are a mess and they can't get themselves together.
These apps are dangerous. These apps are hookup sites for the most part, and you want to be careful from them. D also stands for good D or let's Say mediocre to good D if that's what you're looking for, go on these apps but otherwise stay away from them. Now my C grade goes to Coffee meets Bagel and Hinge. Hinge has changed significantly since the pandemic. You don't want to go on there. All of the hot profiles are behind a paywall. Hinge for me is like you know in fifth grade when you like that guy but he just like would hurt your feelings and he just did not like you. That's Hinge girl. So you just want to stay away from Hinge and then Coffee meets Bagel is an okay site. It's just not a lot of guys on there and.
It'S heavily populated with south and east Asian guys. So if you want to DEI your dating and have that diversity app Higher Girl, get on Coffee meets Bagel. Now my B grades are bumble match and OkCupid. I would say 95% of my clients, if they do find their guy on an app, it's from one of these three sites. And I, I can hear you already. Bumble is where all the feminine guys are not really girl. Start the conversation, see if he drives it. Yeah, Bumble is like the top site right now. If you're not on there, you're probably like losing a lot of opportunity to find your person. OkCupid is really great because there's a lot of liberal guys, open minded guys, intellectual snobs. If you're one of those like I am you, you will probably find some interesting guys on, on OkCupid. Match is a good site if you are 40 plus. Yeah. So that's why I give it a B grade because if you're 40, 50 years old, it should be like your number one because the guys generally are much more serious because it's more of a. You have to pay for it. The only thing about Match though is that there's so many people on it it can get a bit overwhelming and it's, it's really represents the whole world. So you're going to see a huge spectrum of like good guys but also a lot of not so great guys that are not ready for a relationship.
And then the apps that have a A grade is. Well, there are no apps that have an A grade because apps are not the be all, end all. Really it's you. It is about how you navigate your dating life and how what you learn about yourself in the process of meeting and, and getting to know these guys. These dating apps are just a tool and I want you to use them as such. If you are thinking that they are your be all end all you're playing yourself. Think of these as like slot machines girl, right? Have fun, play with them if you find if you get a jackpot, great. Otherwise keep having fun and talking your ish. When you have that level of mentality instead of kind of thinking every guy that you talk to is the one, it will make the apps much more pleasurable and much more fun. Talk your ish, have fun and don't take them too seriously. Alrighty. I hope this helped and let me know. Did I get it right or am I totally off with these grades.
