Short YouTube video by dating coach Anwar (Amar) White giving pragmatic guidance to Black women on how to interpret common compliments from men (e.g., "cute," "fine," "pretty," "beautiful," "gorgeous"). The speaker maps specific compliment words to likely intentions (friend/childlike, sexual interest, facial/face-attraction versus holistic/wifey attraction, humility or deflation) and emphasizes self-worth to avoid being manipulated by flattery.
Chapters
Girl, not all compliments in dating are created equal. And I wanted to share with you.
What I know about how men describe.
Your beauty to tell you exactly how.
He'S feeling about you.
Now, my name is Amar White.
I've been a dating coach for 14 years. I'm also your period godbrother, and I'm.
Here to put you up on game.
So that you don't get lost in the sauce.
Because here's the thing. If you grew up in an environment, in a household where you weren't told.
That you were beautiful, often some.
Some of these compliments will hit you.
Harder and you might fall into the game.
And girl game is lame.
So I want to put you on.
This game so that you don't fall.
Into any of these traps. Okay?
So let's get started. If he calls you cute, please understand.
That he is not sexually attracted to you.
And it's giving little sister energy.
Like, you know, DW from Arthur the cartoon. That's what it's giving.
Ultimately, when he calls you cute, I want you to take that as a.
Verbal, like, tap on the head, okay?
He's not into you. Okay.
Okay.
The next compliment that I hear a lot, if he calls you fine with a W or even fine or hot girl, he is interested in your body. He wants to take you to bed. He wants to put you on his air mattress on his floor and have his way with you, he's not interested.
In the totality of who you are, okay?
If he calls you pretty, please understand.
That he's talking about your face, right? And that he's attracted to you ultimately.
If he calls you beautiful, this is.
Like wifey area, okay? This is.
He thinks that you're beautiful both inside and out.
He's talking about your heart and not necessarily about what's on the exterior.
Now, if he calls you ugly or if he doesn't compliment you at all, please understand that you're probably out of his league and he's trying to humble you. This men really try to stay face and don't really want to hurt women's feelings. And so if he's calling you ugly.
Please understand that he's going out of.
His way to knock you down a couple notches, okay? And then finally, if he's calling you.
Gorgeous or stunning, girl, he's probably giddy like me. Girl. No shade.
In all seriousness, at the end of the day, it doesn't give a fuck.
What these guys are calling you as long as you know who the fuck.
You are and you are standing in.
Your truth and know that you're it. You're that girl. That's the only thing that matters. I hope that helps.
