Dating Q&A - 01-24-25

Hello, hello, hello, hello, ladies. I'm just trying to get everything together. My IG as well. Hopefully it will work. Hello, hello, hello, everyone. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I hope everyone is doing well. It's good to see you all. It's good to be seen. Yeah. So for those of you that don't know me, my name is Coach Anwar. I am a dating coach for black and brown women. And I'm here to help you with your love lives, ladies. Yeah. So here's how we do it. We will.

Answer your questions. This is a Q and A. So if you have questions about.

Love, dating, relationships, men or women, we will definitely, definitely, definitely.

I don't know why IG isn't working. Answer those questions for you. Yeah. Let me cross my legs, honey. Because I'm a lady, and that's what ladies do.

Someone said local graze said, remember when you called it about TikTok. Just saw you live on YouTube. Called it to a T. Girl.

These men are so predictable. When you have been dealing with men for as long as I have, you know exactly how they're going to act. Yeah. So.

Please, please, please, please, please.

Put your questions in the chat. I'm here to answer them. And I. I will hopefully help you level up in love. And if there's anything that I say that resonates with you, that.

Let me see if I can get tick tock together. Because before, it was not giving what it was supposed to give.

If there's anything that I can. Let me just discard this.

Let me go into my actual light.

So here we go. Give me a second, ladies. Trying to, as my mother would say, do what I can for God in my country. Yeah.

So with that said, I don't know. IG is like killing me right now. They just. The IG girls just aren't gonna get it then. Sorry, sorry to that woman and those men. Okay, so put your questions in the chat. I'm gonna answer them in the order that I see them. That's that. Yeah.

Thank you so much for this hat. I appreciate it.

Hey, Yomna. Hey, Terry. Hey, Andrea. Amar. Amariah. Terry said, just dump my ex for being cheap. I like it. Here's what I know. Good guys, they're not cheap with you. They say things like, get whatever you want. Yeah. So Mar said, hi, amore. I missed you, sweetie. Girl, I've been busy this month has been cruise easy. I've been talking to book agents this month. I've been on ABC News. I have been in the New York Times. I have been in Glamour Magazine. Yesterday, I did an interview for Essence. Today I got an email from Ebony. They want to do a whole spot spread and future Ed on me. Like, I've been having many different meetings with a lot of very important people. I'm still getting my. I'm still. We're working on the TV show. I'm also working on an app solution for women to help them be safe and to actually.

Let's just.

Keep that a secret. But I'm working on an app solution so that you will actually really like apps instead of hate them. Okay, so I'm busy, and so I've missed you all, too. But I've also been helping my clients get into amazing relationships. So this past weekend, I've had three clients get into exclusive relationships and one engagement. So we had the engagement in New York. I had one relationship that happened in la, another one in Africa, and another one in the DC area. Yeah. So she's busy. She's busy. She's busy. She's busy. And I wanted to put a little bit of time between the band, TikTok Band, and myself. I needed to observe what the hell was going on with it before I started to step back into it. Yeah. So just wanted to let you all know where I was and what I was doing. Michelle said, love the hoodie and more supports of girlies. Always that, honey. Always that. Always that. Hey, Krista. Good to see you, girl. Okay. Hey. Too much diva doll. She said hello. My favorite, popular, best dating coach ever on social media, girl. No pressure. No pressure at all. Yeah. Like I said before, I'm a dating coach. I'm going to help you level up your dating life. If there's four, I'm a dating coach. I'm going to help you level up your dating life. If there's anything that I say, anything that resonates with you, tap, double tap, triple tap the screen. If you. If you want to work with me personally, definitely click the link in my bio and book a consultation call so I can see if it's a good fit or not. I also have an amazing podcast called the get yout Guy Coaching Podcast. It's the top 30 podcast relationship podcast in the world. And that's where I spill all the tea. Similar to this. Okay. All right, let's see what's going on here.

Andrea said, how are we supposed to date interracially in this political climate? Girl, nothing has changed. What? Okay, let me tell you all something about MAGA men.

Are you scared because you think all these men are maga? Girl, you Know what I call them MAGA men. I call them maggots. And you know why? Because they're all gay, they're all subs. They all love trans women. That's why they have such a issue with trans women in bathrooms. I don't have an issue with trans men. Girl. Girl, have you. I talk to my trans sisters and you know who are searching for them. Who are the chasers? It's the MAGA men. They want to be dominated. That's why they're so mean to women.

They want to be dominated by you. MAGA men like women that are mean to them. Trust this girls. Trust it. Trust. That's why.

In the rnc.

Like Grindr literally broke down because there were so many Republicans that were on that gay dating hookup site.

People are asking what are MAGA men, men that follow Trump and a more radicalized idea, ideology around whiteness, around maleness, all of that. But girl, don't be scared of girl. These men. Clock it, Melania. She is doming Donald Trump. Catch that Tea.

Am I lying?

These, these MAGA men want to be dominated.

So.

What are you scared of exactly? What do you think is going to happen?

Do you think that they're going to come and come for you and get you? Girl, just be mean to them.

I talked to my sisters, my gay boys.

Girl, they, those boys, my gay friends are dominate, dominating, doming, all of these MAGA men. Girl.

Be mean to them.

Don't trip on them.

Yeah. So I hope that helps. Don't be scared. There's literally nothing to be scared about when it comes to dating. In this, in this, in this era.

People said, how can we find liberal men? Well, I need to let you all know something. Liberal men are not like a godson. A third of them are racist.

You are going to have to talk to each and every person. Cuz not everyone is a monolith.

Yeah.

So.

Just so that you know.

Dom these maggots.

I might do a video about it. But I don't want, I don't want them all coming from me. I need a little bit of rest from trying to be canceled, honey.

Yeah.

Okay. Just FYI, about 7, 700 people in here, it'll probably get to about 1500 at some point.

But so if I miss your question in like five minutes, just put it in there again, Spicy. Lol said, do we need to lose weight? Girl, never that.

A lot of my plus size women really just need a confidence boost. Right. If you're confident and you're bigger or plus size, you Gonna get yours. I literally was talking to one of my clients, and she got her guys. She's bigger confidence on 10. Like, she never has a problem dating. So what we're working with is with her is how do we stay in a relationship? Yeah.

Podcast is on which platform? So the get your guy coaching podcast is on Spotify and Apple. Okay. Regina said, why does a guy text me about another woman at work? Jealousy game. No. So I don't know if this guy. If this guy's your boyfriend, it probably means that he likes that woman at work. Even if he says, oh, that woman's so annoying, he likes her and he'll probably cheat on her. And, you know, men are sometimes idiotic and they will tell on themselves. And so when a guy does that, it means that he's telling on himself and he's. He likes that woman.

Maya said, I don't want to have to educate a white partner on how to come correct about black issues, though.

Girl, no one's forcing you to be with a white man, girl. If you want to. If you want to serve separate but equal tea, it's up to you. No shade. Yeah. Nadine said, a guy and I flirting at work, hasn't asked me for my number, but goes out of his way to get my attention, then you need to call that out. You seem to always go out of your way to get my attention. Why is that? Sometimes you gotta, like, put the obvious thing on the table. That's the green light. And some. A lot of these men need the green light. A lot of y' all are not giving these men the great green light. Y' all giving red light, red light special. You're giving. Stop sign. You're giving. And some of y' all are giving yellow light. But it's still like, do I go or do I stay? Yeah, give these men the green light if you're into them, girl.

Okay, Someone asked me, why do men ghost? So just FYI, anytime you're asking a question of why you've lost the plot, you've lost it. Because it's not your job, it's not your responsibility to figure out the why of a man.

I could give you 12 different answers about why a man ghosts and ghost you specifically. And guess what? None of it matters.

What I want us to do, instead of trying to figure out the why and trying to play SVU detective up in here, I want you to just honor the what. And the what is that he's not here and he's not courting you, and he's not the one. And we got to keep it moving. Yeah.

People are asking, what is maga? Y' all don't know what MAGA is? I'm. I'm truly gagged.

DJ said, I'm into Asian men now. Is that bad? No, not at all. I guess my question is, what kind of Asian men are you into? Because not Asian men are created the same.

Okay.

Someone said, how should you respond to a guy asking you on a date last minute the day of? So.

I always think it's like, so let's say you're having a date in the tonight. I would never. I would never accept a date before, like, details after lunchtime. I would never do that. That's seriously, like, late. Late notice for me. But here's what I want to offer to you and everybody else here. A lot of women say, you have a conversation with a guy on a Tuesday, and he says, oh, yeah, let's go out on Friday. Some of you all are thinking that that is a date.

That is not a date.

You're gonna need a day, a time, and a location. And if you don't have all three of those, you don't have a date.

Okay.

Essence said, and where I'm in Houston. Is there any hope for me? No. I have just come to the conclusion that Houston is actually the hardest city to date in. It has taken over Atlanta. Houston is. How do they say it in southern Houston? Or.

Courtney said, what is it advised on women with no kids dating a man with kids. Two kids, Exactly. In their 30s. What advice do I have? I need more information than that, girl. Y' all give me some specific questions. Okay.

What I would say is I want to make sure that he is able to manage his time, because at the end of the day, I would want each and every one of you to be a man's top priority.

I think a lot of women are hesitant to date men with children because they don't want to feel like they are playing second fiddle to his children. And you get to feel that way. By the way.

A lot of us, especially if you are a black or brown woman, oftentimes will have a neglect wound. Growing up, because our parents worked so much, and then when they came home, they were super tired. And then we just felt like, I'm a burden, I'm a bother. And if you felt that way, give me a hashtag.

Neglect in the chat. And then so now there's, like a sensitivity around.

I need you to see me. I need you to. I need you to give me that quality time. That I desperately need, deserve that I didn't get when I was a kid.

Totally honor that. Get that some of us had books and TV that raised us.

Because there was just no parent at home.

Yeah.

Abel said, when is the right time to mention that you have a child? Well, if you're dating online, you should have it in your pro, like in your profile in the menu that says, do you have any children? And you select has children. But here's the thing. When you're dating and you're a parent, don't be talking about being a mother. Don't be talking about your kids. Unless he brings it up. He wants to date a woman, he doesn't want to date a mother. So you're gonna have to take your mother hat off and put your woman hat on.

A lot of us when you. Especially when you're a parent, your whole identity is wrapped in being a parent, a mother. And it can hurt you in dating, because if you're mothering a man, you're going to attract more feminized men that are looking for a mother, and you won't be finding and attracting men that are in their masculine energy. And that's a problem. Yeah. Because those feminized men are looking to take from you, not give.

Goldie said, guys marry mean women. Lol. I'm so serious. Yes, well, they. They marry women that are very clear about what they want and aren't afraid to tell men about it. Yeah.

Okay. Ro says you talked about hairstyles, talk about how you dress, relating to men, you attract. I've talked a little bit about this before.

So how can I. How can I put this?

Well, it depends on what kind of guy that you're trying to attract. If you're trying to attract, like, a businessman, like, he wants. He wants you giving Banana Republic, and then at home, he wants you giving Lululemon. Right. If you are showing, and I don't care how you dress, ladies, if you're sharing a showing a lot of skin, you're gonna attract pervs. You're gonna attract sexual wolves, as I call them. A lot of women have super short shorts or dresses. And it is like, for a predator, it's like catnip. It's like, oh, this girl's so desperate for attention that she'll accept anything. All right, So I guess. I guess it really depends on what kind of guy you're trying to get. You know, if you're trying to get old, wealthy, you probably want to be dressing in Chanel or a Chanel. Like, look.

I'M gonna keep it moving though.

Okay? And thank you all. Okay. Thank you all so much for sharing about all this neglect. Yeah, it's real out here. I just want to let you know that I see you.

And sending you lots of love. Okay. Just FYI, if there's anything that I'm saying that's resonating with you, definitely tap, double tap, triple tap the screen. And if you are interested in working with me, go to the link in my bio and you can book a consultation call so that we can help you get your guy. It is. We have just finished the super bowl of dating. Things are dying down now on the apps. But we've had so many women in my program that have been dating three, five different guys getting into relationships, like every other day for the last couple of weeks, there have been women that have been getting into relationships. So it's a really exciting time to be in my program. So I work with three other coaches that help me kind of manage the one on one calls that we do with my clients. They're really get into the weeds of it to understand what the hell's really going on with you. Right.

Okay, let's see what's going on over here. Okay. Sid Mo said, where are good places to meet good quality man in major cities? I always think that that is like the wrong question. That's not me coming for you because.

It'S not like they're in one room that you just have to go to and then they're all there.

This is about. And this whole dating coaching that I do, it is about the woman. It is about becoming the woman that's ready for the best relationship of her life. It's about becoming a confident woman that can come into a room and command it. Right. It's about the woman that's able to have conversations with people and naturally attract. Right. Good quality guys are everywhere except for maybe the club.

So I always tell my, you know, I always talk about you want to go and you want to go to different places. You want to. You should be going to a hobby every week. You should be going to a place where you're meeting new, different guys every week. And that is really dependent. So one of the things that I do in my program is we get really clear on what your natural flirt style is and also like what we call your main character energy is and we use that information to inform what sort of places you should be going to based on those things. Because if you're an intellectual, I'm not going to tell you to Go to a sporting event.

I'm just not right. So it just really depends on who you are. So that's something that we determine while in my program. Okay.

El Said and why I love you. Thank you so much for all the love. I appreciate it.

Vegan Meta Said. Should I tell a guy I love dancing with him? It depends on the nature of your relationship. You can tell him that you love dancing with him, or you can tell him that you think that you and him need to practice dancing a little bit more because you're worried about his progress in dancing. And if he can actually keep up with you, you get to play with these men a little bit. We don't have to compliment or over compliment men because they're going to get a big head and we don't ever want men to get big heads. It's kind of like you're a younger brother. Like you never give him life.

Same with these men. Yeah.

KG don't care. Said, is being friends for a while first important before dating? Not necessarily.

I think actually being friends with someone can make things much more complicated because it will make both parties a little bit hesitant about crossing over that line and.

Making it more romantic. So I actually think it's easier to go from zero to romantic.

But what I will say is the energy that you would bring to a friendship you want to bring when you're dating.

Tiffany Said, I know you said, good morning. Texts are useless. I call them spam. Right. So you asked, do you tell the man you don't like these messages? Well, here's the thing. I'm always of the mindset that, like, I would rather you not. I would rather you be positive in the way that you communicate. So it's not talking about what you don't like because a lot of people will feel rejected or inadequate when you say it like that. Instead, you want to inspire men, so you want to tell them what you do like and what you do prefer. So when he. When he sends you a good morning message, you can be, oh, thanks so much for checking in on me. I would love to hear your voice. Why don't you call me at seven?

Yeah. So now he's inspired. Now he wants to call you. And now you've gotten out of text purgatory.

Yeah.

Autumn said, my mom has. Has been sending me your videos for a year and I'm in the best relationship because of you. Awesome. I love that. Yeah, that's the tea. If you go through all my videos, there's no reason why you can't date Successfully and wow. Yeah.

Kimmy said, hi. Love your videos. Thank you, girl.

Someone asked what's the hardest part about dating in New York. Well, I think it's similar to dating in San Francisco, New York, dc, Toronto. It's the cost of living.

Because things are so expensive. I mean, the average, like purchase price of a home in Toronto is 1.1 million.

The reason why I'm pointing this out is because men are not going to settle down if they don't feel stable in their careers and in their lives. And if you're surviving, if you're month to month, like a goddamn lease.

Then he's never going to feel like he can take care of a family if he can barely take care of himself. So I think it's really hard to date in these more expensive cities.

Yeah.

Baby said, can you talk about manifesting love? Oh, my God, I love talking about this. I manifest a lot of things that I do.

And I believe I manifested my partner. So especially if you're black or brown, you have to do a vision board. You have to do a vision board. And the reason why you have to do a vision board is because you, you're going to need to see the visual representation of what you want. Because in media and things like that, it's actually not as plentiful as you need, especially as it pertains to love and dating.

So you're going to have to have that so that you are able to see it and like, internalize it as.

Possible. But like, for example, every morning I write down all of my goals. I write down all of my goals, the same three goals all year, until I achieve one of them, and then I replace it with another goal. So the first thing that I do is I silently read those goals out in my head and then I say the goals out out loud. And then I visualized actually experiencing that goal. And while I'm visualizing it, I'm feeling what it feels like to actually achieve that goal. So my goal is to have a New York Times bestselling book. My second goal is to have a top television show on a streaming network. And then my third goal is to finish and make multi millions on my dating app, Solution for women.

Yeah, in the chat. What are, what is your love goal? What is your love goal that you can start with putting intentional energy into every morning. Let me see, let me see what y' all are talking about.

Thank you so much for the support, ladies. I appreciate it.

Someone said what if you hate vision boards? I don't know who hates vision Boards.

I think you should do it anyway. Actually, I had some clients that said that, but we had a group vision board party. Love vision board party. And it was so much fun.

Someone said my vision board would be a giant pic of Henry Cavill. Then, girl, do it.

Get him. Yeah. Someone said soulmate, longevity and companionship. Someone said vision boards are hard. Why are they hard? What you need to do. The secret of a vision board is not just picking your images from a thought place. You actually have to. You have to feel the image. So whatever image speaks to your heart and your emotions, those are the ones that you have to choose. It's not just, oh, that's a big ass ring. Let me put that in my vision board. It's actually like, oh, this ring actually makes me feel full of love. That's how you have to choose these images.

Yeah. Okay. Having a true partner. Self love. Caring man.

Completely vulnerable with a partner. My man loving me out loud.

Cute nerd with a British accent.

Love that. Okay, good, good, good, good, good, good. I do my vision boards.

Via Pinterest or Canva.

Okay.

Just said if a guy didn't open my doors or bring me flowers on the first date, he's out, right? Nope, he's fine. He doesn't need to bring you flowers. I do think he should be opening doors for you. And the way that you figure that out is.

You just stand in front of a door and you wait for him to open it.

Yeah. And when he does it, you thank him profusely and you let him know how much you love that.

Dee said texting first on dating apps. If you like the guy, why not?

But don't start off with a question. I think oftentimes what's happening is that so many women are driving these conversations, and it's making you feel exhausted when you're having these conversations. Don't do that. Right. Put a statement in there. So this week, I helped my clients learn and taught them how to banter and flirt, which is a very important part of dating because, no shade. A lot of us are acting like we're talking to colleagues while we're dating, and that's a big old snore. No shade. It's giving slack. It's giving Microsoft Teams energy, and you got to learn how to banter. So I'm saying all of this because when I taught my clients how to flirt, right? They were saying things like when they were texting first on the apps. Oh, you haven't messaged me yet. I guess cat got your tongue. And then they put a black cat in there, right? I'm teaching my clients how to make dating fun. If dating is not fun for you, you probably need to come into my program.

Yeah, so that you can talk your shit. Because a lot of y' all are not talking your shit.

Uh oh. Y' all got called out, given HR mode?

Yeah.

Lame. O. McLamo.

Don't do that, girl.