Dating Q&A - 02-13-25

Foreign.

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I hope everyone is doing well. It's good to see everyone. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Coach Anwar. I am a dating coach for.

Primarily black and brown women. I center their experience in dating. I want to make sure that we are being successful in this dating game. Okay, so I'm gonna be on here. I'm going to be answering any and all questions as it relates to dating. Love, relationships, men, women, I don't care.

That's all I gotta say. I'm here to help you. Dating is especially hard these days and I want to be of support. Okay, so here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna ask questions, put them in the chat. I don't know what's happening with Instagram. For some reason there's like a poor connection. But we're gonna keep on keeping it moving and we'll go from there. Okay?

So, yeah, someone said, I missed you, girl. I have been sick. I was sick for, like, I don't know, a week, week and a half. So I haven't really been on TikTok. I haven't been live. I haven't really been doing much of anything. So I am here now. So we're going to work it out. So with that said, if you have, if you want to do this work more deeply, definitely go to the link in my bio and book a consultation call. I also, in the link in my bio, have a link to my podcast. I have a podcast for people that didn't know, now you know. And you know, you can check out, like, if you love, like, what I'm saying on here, you can, like, continue to listen and we can continue to do this work. Alrighty. So thank you all so much for the lovely words of encouragement. I am feeling better, so I thank you so much for that. And we're gonna get this. We're gonna get this thing going, honey, because it's. It's tough out there. It's very tough, but. But it's not impossible. And I want to make sure that ultimately we get in your person. Okay. I will tell you, I'm kind of booked. People have been trying to book with me for the last day or two, but things are kind of booked right now. But if you are serious about.

Having a consultation call working with me, definitely send me an email and at Anwar, get your guy coaching.com and we'll try to find a time for you to actually book. Okay? So with that said, if there's anything that I say on this live that resonates with you, that feels good about that, makes you feel good or gives you some sort of knowledge. Definitely tap, double tap or triple tap the screen and we'll go from there. Okay.

Honey, this Instagram is not working. Someone said, do I take international clients? I sure do. I work with everybody. So. Hey tg. Hey Chipotle.

Chipotle said, I feel special to be this early. Asia said, I love your lives. Thank you so much, girl. And thank you all so much for the 2000 likes. I appreciate it. Ever since Tick Tock has come back, I think it is like kind of.

Not Shadow banned me, but like I'm not getting the reach that I used to get. So, honey, I blame everything on Trump girl. Everything. Yeah. Okay. Lily says, love your point of view. Thank you so much. Andrew said, I missed you. Missed you too, girl. Sarah said, what do you think about a rich man who wants to be the wants me to be the second wife? Are you in the Middle East?

Because if you're in the Middle east, girl.

Silver. Silver medal it is.

If you not, then hail to the no. Yeah. Melanie said, let's talk about plus size dating in nyc girl. If you plus size girl. If I if I were a plus size girl, I would be dating in Jersey and Long island. No shade.

How long is too long between texts? Anything more than two to three days, I'm out. Okay. Someone said, should we gift a man crush for Valentine's Day? If a man is not your boyfriend, you should not be giving him a gift on Valentine's Day.

That's just it.

Essentials by Noelle said, what are some vetting questions to ask prior to agreeing to be someone's girlfriend? Are you single?

So it's actually really interesting because you can ask men anything and it doesn't actually matter. They'll tell you whatever. You're going to have to do a background check.

Multiple kinds of background checks, from sex registry to the county clerk's office. Right?

That's what you're going to have to do. And you're going to have to do that because these men will tell you anything and everything. And honey, need to see the law. We need to see the records. Okay? So I want us to step away from vetting questions and just like do your detective work. Olivia Benson, do your work. Okay.

V said, I'm single and content at the moment, but when I was dating, your advice helped me so much. Great girl. Great. Courtney said, what should I ask a guy to keep him talking? Don't ask him anything if he's not talking by himself, girl, he's a mute. And treat him as such.

There's nothing to talk about. Keep it moving. You need to be talking to three other men. Like, what are we doing?

There are men that are going to want to talk your heads off. Respectfully speaking, if he's not talking to you, he. He doesn't like you. So we need to move on. Right? He's not into it. I don't mean that to be rude. I just. I try to keep it real with. With the ladies that I'm talking to because. No, shade, sometimes your best friends will not keep it real with you. They will want you to feel good, and so they will hide the truth from you. And they actually do more of a disservice than a service when it comes to your dating life. So.

Talk to your dating life with that friend. That will tell you what the T is, whether it hurts your feelings or not. And I know that sounds really bad, but that person gives a shit about you and gives a shit about how you're thinking about your dating life. And they want you to succeed.

In the long run. They don't care about what happens now because what happens now doesn't actually matter as much as what the end result will be. Okay? And I tried to do that. I tried to keep it real. And the intention is always pure. Just FYI. Kiara said he ignored me and I blocked him. He's not chasing me. Should I move on? Well, you already moved on if you blocked him. So I just think that blocking without communication.

Like, being very clear and having the boundary. I don't want us to do that. Respectfully. That is, like, not the communication that you want to be presenting.

Okay.

Okay. Yes. I am doing better. Ladies. Thank you so much for asking. I appreciate it. Zaina said date four on Saturday, and it's been three weeks. Still inconsistent with texting. Feels like.

The thing that I think we all need to be really cognizant of is you never want to be Carrie Bradshaw.

What do I mean by that? I mean that she was someone who was so much on Bigs D during dates that she was ignoring what I call the between date behavior. Which is what? What does he do between dates? You get to have these amazing dates, right? But what you also have to understand is, like, when you're In a relationship, 80 or 90% of the time, you're not going to be face to face with that person. So the between date behavior actually is going to matter more than the date behavior. And what I'M seeing is that he's getting an F or a D when it comes to in between date behavior and maybe getting an A or a B when you're on a date. So the average is like a C. So he's a C dude. Find some A and B dudes.

Investigators are said, hi, I saw one of your videos and thank you for all your advice. You're welcome, girl.

Adrian, thank you so much for the heart me. I appreciate it. Someone said we need Valentine's Day advice. What is the advice, girl? What advice do you need? I'm happy that my numbers are finally going up. Normally. I was telling you, I think I'm getting shadow banned here because normally I have like 1600 people in here and I only have about 700. So we'll see if it gets up there. Girl, please continue to tap, double tap and triple tap the screen. I don't care how much you're doing it. Do it until you have carpal tunnel. I don't care.

Yes, honey, I'm back on my kombucha tip, honey. Because I'm a white woman.

Let's get into it.

Someone t said I have a crush at work. What should I do? Love you. Love you too. Also do nothing. If he is really into it, he is going to, he's going to ask you out to lunch.

And when he does that, make sure that you're having lunch off of out of the building, out of campus and start talking about non professional things. And if he continues to engage in the more personal conversations around family, around, you know, hobbies outside of work, then I will tell you that he's probably into you as well. Yeah. Yeah. Here's the thing. I don't necessarily. I'm not a huge fan of like work romances because oftentimes women will be unfairly punished or their reputation will suffer if it doesn't work out. But I would not, I would be lying to say that it doesn't happen. Like around 10 to 15% of relationships start from work. So I want to make sure that you're navigating it in a way and you know what the hell you're doing when you're, when you have a situation like that. Yeah. Whatever you do though, don't.

Don't fall in love with your work husband.

One, because he's probably married. And two, it never works out. I wish it did. It would be perfect. But it never works out. You hear me?

Who has a crush on their work husband? Put it in the chat right now.

Put it in the chat. Right now.

And if you're black and your work husband is black, step away. Step away right now.

Someone said, I work from home. Good girl. You are your work husband.

Okay. Someone said, definitely married and black. That's right, honey. Why do I say this? Okay, girl, let me get into it.

One, because married men know how to court you. So you will. If it leans in, like the thing is.

You will feel like it's real and it's not. That man is married.

And married men court the best.

And if you actually hook up with him.

The sex is going to feel much more connected than just some wham, bam, you will fall in love with that married man if you actually have sex with him. And let me know.

We don't judge in here. We don't judge.

If you've experienced that.

Let us know.

Married D is dangerous D for a variety of different reasons. Someone said, I'm judging. If you're judging, you need to get out of here. Because we don't judge here. We're going to say. We listen. We don't judge. We're going to say a lot of messy stuff here. So if you're a judge or girl, I'm going to kick you out.

Someone said he's getting a divorce. If he's getting a divorce, that's fine. But it still means that he's married.

What if separated? I have been a dating coach for 15 years, and anytime one of my clients has gotten with a guy that is separated, it has never worked.

Separated is still married.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

Don't do it. I know. It's. It's. It, like, feeds into your fairy tale fantasy because he will court you as if you are in a Disney movie or in a Hallmark movie. Don't do it. Okay?

He is Gaston. He is Jafar. You hear me? He is. He's the Beast. He's not the white boy under the Beast. He's the Beast.

Yes, girl. I said Jafar. Girl.

Okay, okay, let me see. Okay, let me see what else we're talking about here. Lost my place. Y' all acting a fool. Lulu said, should we ask for their Instagram before going on the first date? No, girl, you don't need Instagram. You need their name and you need where they work. Then you can. You can Google them and you can get a little bit of their LinkedIn tea, and you can get a lot of information just by name, work and where they live, location. You can get pretty much everything. Don't ask for social media, because then they will ask for yours. And you don't want them to have your social media. That's too much. Okay. Like, I don't want them knowing that you went to Paris last summer. I don't want them knowing your family and friends. Like, not until you. You're way into the courtship. Okay. Yeah, it's. It's a boundary violation in my book. Okay.

Someone said, advice for the girlies who work nights. What do you mean? Like, sex work?

We listen. We don't judge. What do you mean, work nights? Breakfast dates. Breakfast dates. That's the tea. Okay. Patricia said, it never works out. Or if it does, there's cheating. Over 20 years of work. And he ain't lying. It doesn't. It doesn't.

Adri Mc said, I'm in an office full of women, girl. Go, Leslie. Do it, girl. No shade. But dating is getting harder and harder, and it's starting to feel like most of y' all are gonna be in a golden girl situation. No shade. I'm not coming for you. I'm just saying that's. That's how things are coming. Developing. And these men are literally going to have AI girlfriends.

Yeah. Jaden Said, listen, Anwar, I need help. I'm in Houston. I have no luck. I'm 25, and I'm not thriving in love, friend. Okay, so here's the app that you need to go on if you're in Houston. Also, if you're in Atlanta, the app is called Zillow. You need to move. You hear me? That's the app that you need to be on. You hear me?

That's it.

That's it. That's the app.

Are you on it? People talking about, what's the best app to be on in 2025? Zillow.

What about Dallas? Zillow. Real realtor.com.

What about Chicago?

ChicagoDepartment.com.

What about los angeles? Priceofgas.com.

China said, I'm dating an African or Muslim. Why? And don't know anything about his life. That's because he has a wife, and he's probably DL. That's why you don't know anything about his life. He's hiding it because.

He'S gay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Gene Albert said, I'm Arab, he's Irish. Will it work? My family won't accept a white man.

Well, is your family dating him or are you? That's the question. I mean, here's the thing, ladies. One of the things that I'm always kind of saying that I think is very important is you have to act like a grown woman in your Love life, which means that you have to date for you. You can't date for your siblings, you can't date for your parents. You can't date for your best friend because they're only going to see your partner 2 or 5% of the time. You have to date for you. So, respectfully speaking, I don't care if your family accepts him or not. I care if he treats you well. And the thing is, oftentimes what happens is when a family sees that this person is treating you like the queen that you are, oftentimes a lot of that will go to the side.

Okay.

Okay.

Adriana said opinion on accepting a trip to Aruba for our first date. He will pay for everything and will also send money. No.

What was the name of that girl that got killed in Aruba?

No, that's not a first date. That's trafficking.

Of course he's going to pay for everything because you are going to be the star of the new movie called Taken 3.

No.

Definitely not.

Okay. Yeah. Natalee Holloway. Don't be that girl. Don't be her.

Aruba my ass. Girl. You better Aruba and stay your behind home.

Okay.

Ray said, do you think American women work with Haitian men?

I mean, I think the better question is, do Haitian men work?

I mean, do they work in a relationship? Because they work very hard in their careers. Hard working men for sure. And they also work hard with their lies.

So do they work?

Well, I'll let my Haitian sisters talk to you about that.

I think that I will let them handle that because I'm in a mood tonight and I don't want to get canceled.

Okay.

Okay.

Fab said, what are the best dating cities?

It depends who you are. If you're a black woman, I would want to be in the DMV area and I would want to be in the state of North Carolina.

I will tell you a lot of my clients in Atlanta.

Sorry, the state of North Carolina. A lot of my clients in Atlanta are starting to get their guys. So Atlanta is actually not as bad as maybe it used to. I think that the hardest city to date in right now is Houston.

No, ma'. Am.

Let me see what's going on. Someone said, are you single? Why do you want me? I'm married. I've been married for over a decade, so you can't have me.

Signs a man is DL. Great question. What kind of man are you into? Are you into a black man? If you're into a black man. I was going to do a video about this. If you're into black men. Black men. If they have mommy issues, if they hate their mom or they're too close to their mom, they're probably DL. If they wear sweats or pants over shorts, they're probably DL. They're literally subconsciously, like, holding their D in their pants because if they don't, they're. They're gonna go wild.

If they're just talking about butt, but, but, but, but butt, then they don't care who's attached to that butt. They just want butt. Beavis and butt heads. Okay.

I'm trying to think. If he's black and he's into anime, he's probably DL. No shade.

If he's Hispanic in DL, he's probably an alcoholic and he probably has daddy issues. He either hates his dad or his dad hates him.

If he has been in prison for more than three years or more, he's probably DL. If he's in the Navy, he's probably DL. He's literally.

Sleeping on top of each other and they're on a cruise on a honeymoon every day.

If he is Indian or Middle Eastern, if he is choosing your clothes or trying to control what you're wearing, he's probably DL. He's playing Barbies with you.

If they. If they're Indian or Middle Eastern and they like, like rough sex.

He'S probably DL.

He's hate effing you because he hates himself.

If you're having a conversation with someone from the Middle east or.

India and it goes from 0 to 100 sexual very quickly, he's probably DL repression. T.

If he's in the Middle east and Indian and he works out, he's probably DL.

If he. If he's East Asian. The way that I try to figure out if he's DL is.

If he was chubby as a kid. If he was chubby as a kid and now he works out because he's doing that revenge bod tea, he's probably DL. He was eating. Trying to eat the gay away.

Yeah.

If he is.

If he is.

In sports.

You know how I figure out if he's like, in professional sports? Because I. I chatted with a couple of DL people that are professional athletes.

If he's the cheerleader of the team.

Or he is.

Like, the loner that nobody talks to, He's. He's the DL1 on the team.

Okay?

If DL means down low, that means he's gay. Gay girl, gay.

If he.

If he's a pastor and he likes to mentor one on one with boys, he's DL. That's how the pastors do it. Predator T. Okay. All Dominicans and Italians are bisexual.

Off the gate. If he's Lebanese, he's gay.

Okay?

If.

If he is a rich white man and he's into kinky stuff in the bedroom.

And he does drugs that are luxurious in nature.

He'S. He's not even DL. He doesn't care. He's so rich that he doesn't even have a label.

Okay? If he's a poor white, because there's a ton of them.

He'S an alcoholic. Generally he'll have a beard because he's hiding something from his. He's hiding. And then he spends more time with his friends than he does his girlfriend. He's DL.

Okay.

Do you have any more questions?

All Italians are bisexual.

Got it. And if you don't believe me, ask any of your gay friends. They'll tell you that if they're in the club at 2am and they see one of these guys, they know that they can have them.

Someone said, who's not DL? I don't know, girl. I don't know. But I will tell you this. More and more men are watching corn with a pee, and it is making them.

Very DL.

Because they're not looking at the titas, they're looking at the D.

Men are.

Physically attracted to each other.

But sexually attracted to women.

Africans, okay? Nigerians, if he's gone to boarding school, he's probably DL. That's where they have their first sexual experience. And oftentimes it's with a boy.

Most of the DL guys that are Nigerians, and don't let them put any sort of hexes on me, okay? So pray for me. All of it. Now.

If they generally have a girlfriend, they're generally married. And.

If they treat their wives or girlfriends like they don't like them or like, if they're walking to, like, a place and they are pretending like they're strangers, he's DL.

Well, I'm saying that because, you know, anytime that I talk about Nigerians, like, they always try to put a hex on me. I have to ask my grandmother to, you know, pray for me and to give me a protective layer because they will come for me spiritually.

Yeah.

So someone keep on saying, what about the Greek squirrel? Read a history book.

Jamaicans, they are not DL.

They are killers.

In and outside of the bedroom.

Someone said Asian men. I already said Asian men. Generally, they're chubby when they're growing up because they're eating the gay away.

So ask an Asian man. Were you Chubby growing up. And if he says yes, and then he's not chubby now.

DL.

Yeah, I had time today, honey.

And the reason why I'm talking about DL men is because DL men are narcissists. They're dangerous. And they will.

They will try to target.

Women with children. They will try to target darker skinned women. They will try to target bigger women. They will try to target women that are in their masculine energy.

So I'm really trying to put you up on game so that you are not stuck with some DL guy. DL means down low. Means he's secretly gay or bisexual.

Okay.

Yeah, a lot. And you don't have to believe me. You can just talk to any one of your gay friends. They'll tell you that a good 20 to 50% of them are hooking up with guys that are on the DL.

Because these guys, they just want to get it in.

They want to get it in.

Okay.

I hope this is helpful for you.

Because I really want y' all to be protected this year and beyond.

Yeah.

You'Re welcome.

Where are the bi men? Any guy that has a nose ring is probably bi.

And if you have a double nose ring, he's probably pan girl.

No shade.

Okay.

Thank you.

Okay.

All right. Do we have dating questions?

And thank you all for praying for me, because, honey, I already know that when this comes out, the Nigerians are going to try to come for me.

That's why the government had to make being gay illegal. Because if they didn't, then they would have no more children to make.

Dangly earrings.

Gay. Bye, gay. Bye, gay. By.

Someone said our Navy men. Okay, no, girl Navy is. Gaby.

If there are 100 men that go into the Navy, they will come back.

50 couples.

Why are you gagging? So.

Think about it. They're on a cruise all day, every day with their love. They're on a honeymoon.

So when a man comes back from deployment and he says.

I gotta go back.

I can't leave my platoon hanging.

He has a lover and he misses him.

Do you hear me?

Okay. I hope that.

I hope that's helpful.

Maybe I'll do a video about this tomorrow. Because I want you all to know.

When these military men are saying, I want to go back where I might be killed.

Honey, he's found his forever love.

Trust.

Yes, honey, the love boat.

That's exactly why they joined. I know a lot of gay boys that are in the Navy. In the Marines.

Try to get it in.

People grow. Prison, too. There's also a reason why that recidivism rate is up.

Yeah, honey.

So.

I hope this helps, y'. All. I hope this helps.

Recidivism is when they're in prison or jail and then they keep on going back.

How long have I been live? I don't know, 20 minutes.

Oh, maybe 40. Okay, what about black women in Europe? What are the best options? If I were a black woman in Europe, I would be in the Netherlands. I would be in bigger cities. In Germany, I would be in southern Italy. I would be in, like, Serbia or Croatia if I wanted, like, a husband.

Someone said, after how many years in prison do you think a guy becomes DL?

He cannot not be DL. If he's been in there for three or more years.

There'S no way. I've spoken with guards and they say even the hardest of the heart, that two to three year mark, that's when they bust it wide open. Girl, no shade.

But you need to understand something these men like. Do you understand that? Men, Jo? Every day. Every day.

So.

Yeah, every day. You didn't know that? Sometimes two or three times a day.

What if they don't? J O.

Girl.

No comment.

Okay.

Okay, let's get back to the questions. Okay. How do I know a black guy is into Latinas?

Girl, I don't know.

You generally know when people are into you.

Black guys are into everybody. Black eyes just want to get it in.

Yeah. If you're in la, he's into Latinas. If you're in Miami, he's into Latinas.

If you're in Dallas or Texas, Dallas or Houston or Chicago, he's into Latinas.

Okay, let me figure out. Let me get back on track, honey. Because this honey girl, the DL man already got me twisted.

Kelsey said, I haven't seen you in a while. Girl, I've been sick for a week and a half and busy getting this book deal together and TV stuff together and all of my new ventures together.

Sunset wants to fly me out to meet me. I asked him to visit here first and he said no. Then he didn't want it. Leave him. He's trying to order you like an Amazon package. Don't do that. Don't be that. Girl. You're not prime. Girl.

He needs to come to you.

Okay, let's see what questions we have here.

Where is it? Where I think you meant when is it a good time to bring up kids? Well, it depends. Kids that you have or kids that you want to have?

You probably want to do that toward around date three.

Someone said amore. Your quotes live in my head rent free.

Awesome. That's cool. How to compliment men don't.

Your presence is a compliment to them.

If you want to compliment them, compliment them in reciprocation of a compliment that they've given you. Don't. Don't come off the gate complimenting a man. That will feel a little bit thirsty.

Okay then. He already feels like he's surprised.

Kelly said, what happened to that deal post? I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it tomorrow.

It felt like it was a little bit too long.

What if they compliment me first? Do it, girl.

Tia said, where are the billionaires girl? They taking over the US of A.

Girl. Go to the White House.

That's where they are.

Just go straight to D.C. honey. No shade. No shade.

Date chica from NYC. How soon should I ask for money? Don't ask for money from a man.

If you feel like you have to ask for money, you're a beggar. He will respect you less. If he's not already offering you money, then if you have to ask for it, it's not going to be a match for you. I'm not, I'm not a dating coach. That's like transactional. Like Shira 7. I'm more into love, connections and relationships. So like that's. That sort of questioning is probably like not my area of expertise. So I just want to share that. But like I would never want any one of you to ask for money from men. You're. If you do that, you're a fundraiser.

You're raising funds.

Jay said, is it a red flag if he asks what you do for work? No, that's regular conversation.

Now if he calls you big money.

Then he's trying to rob you.

555 says he keeps declining my invites to hang out. What should I do? First of all, you should never be asking a man out.

There should be no invites. He should be asking you out. You're in your masculine. That's a turn off to men. If you're asking a man out then he's not going to respect you and he's going to feel like, oh, I have this girl in my pocket when I'm bored or I'm corny with an H, I'll reach back out to her because I already know that I have her.