Dating Q&A - 02-18-25

Hey, girl. Hey. Hey, my love. How are we?

Hello, my loves. What's tea? What's going on? How are we doing? I have to zip this up because I already know that y' all are going to try to look at my cleavage if I do that. So.

Some said you're back on IG? Yeah, girl, cuz IG's finally working, honey.

How are we doing, ladies? What's the tea? What's really going on? Someone said, we missed you. I missed you, too. Well, you know, I was sick. I was not feeling well.

So I had to rest. I had to rest this body, honey. I had to rest it.

Hello. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Coach Anwar. I'm a dating coach for black and brown women. I'm. You know, I can coach anybody, but my work is centered on the black and brown woman's experience.

Okay? So please understand this.

I don't care who you are. I'll coach anything and everyone, but that's what my program's all about. So I come on live because.

I'm here to help you.

Okay? I am here to help you level up your love life.

Okay? So some people said, we know. We know, girl. I have to tell the girls because sometimes I don't. Yeah. So what am I here to do? I'm here to talk about.

Love, dating, relationships. Men or women. I don't care what you get into. Honey, it's 2025.

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.

Someone said, are you single? No, I'm married.

Eyes married. Been married for over a decade. Three children. Married with children. Girl, just like the show.

Yeah. So how do we do this? You ask questions and I answer them. That's how it goes. Now, there's going to be a lot of people that are going to be asking questions. Please don't get mad at me if I don't get to your question. I'm going to have thousands of people on TikTok and hundreds of people on IG. So.

Yeah. So please be patient with me. I'm going to do whatever I can for God in my country, as my mother would say, and help you all get closer to your love lives. And by the way, if you want to do this work on a deeper level, please go to the link in my bio, check out booking a consultation call with me and. Or listen to my podcast. Now, here's the tea, girl. I might be booked for the month. And if you find that that is the case, please, please email me@AnwaratYourGuyCoaching.com so I can help you out. Okay.

All right. Now let's see what's going on. Someone said, atlanta, men who work in the Amazon warehouse. I would date one of the robots in the warehouse before, I would date a man who works in the Amazon warehouse.

And that's on. Those men are dangerous. Those men are packing boxes and packing women daily.

Do you hear me?

My stepdad has worked in those sorts of warehouses, and he tells me that those men are wild.

Wild.

They will let anybody work there. No, Shade.

Someone said, do I save their lives? Yeah. I put them on YouTube the next day, or my team does. Okay, I know for some of you, it's past your bedtime because you're a golden girl, so you can check out the YouTube link afterward. I'm in a mood, honey. And you know what that means.

Someone said, why don't you make posts on gay relationships? Because I work for and with black and brown women.

Girl. I don't. I don't deal with the gays. I'm married. I deal with one gay, and that's my husband. That's it.

Okay, let me see what y' all are talking about.

And thank you all for being here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so, so excited to share this tea with y'. All. Yeah, I love what I do. I absolutely do. Okay, let me see what's going on here.

J. Bean said, is your email in your bio by any chance? It's literally on my profile.

The real Barbie said, you should interview the DL Whisperer. I've already interviewed him. We've already chatted. That's my sister. We are aligned when it comes to these DL men.

A lot of these men are DL. No Shade. My theory is because they're watching so much corn with a P.

All they're doing is staring at the D girl, and it's making them gayer. When I tell you some of these cities, I walk in and I start to feel uncomfortable because there's too many of them.

Where are the straight dudes?

If I feel like I can. I can take two thirds of these men. That's a motherfucking problem for y'. All. Not me, honey. Not me. Not me, girl. I still got a girl.

I still got a girl. So, yeah, so that's what I'm gonna say on that.

Where are the boys? Okay, let's see what's going on here. Let's see what's going on. How do. Okay.

How did you know giving relationship advice was something you Wanted to do. Well, I literally have been doing this ever since I was a little kid in elementary school. I was helping the boys talk to the girls and the girls talk to the boys. I was that boy boy who was double dutching with the girls. And then for half of recess and the other half, I was playing basketball and.

Crossing over the boys. Y' all don't know this, but I'm like 6, 2, 6, 3, and I used to be like captain of my high school basketball team. I'm a big old jock, honey. So I literally played a ton of sports. So I was around boys all the time. So I know how they think, I know how they move. And then I was with the girls and I know how they move and I know how they think. And so, you know, here's what I will tell you.

Whatever you do, this might be a little bit controversial, but I don't really care. Don't listen to straight men that are giving you dating advice. Most of them are narcissists and no, shade. The gay ones are narcissists too. Girl, I think if people are giving you dating advice, most of the time they're narcissists.

They know how to manipulate people to do what they want and that's why they're so good at this. Girl, I went through my narcissistic phase too, until I had to do the work, honey. I had to go into therapy. I had to stop. Because here's the thing. When you know how to do things, you won't use it for your good.

My heart was closed before I was married. And so what I would do is I would use these boys and these men for my own self gratification and my ego. I would think to myself, how many boys can I get to kiss me tonight at the club? If I knew I said six, I would do seven because of my ego. What did Beyonce say?

I had a big ego.

So I just want to let you know, because what you're going to see more and more is that all of these straight guys that are giving advice, they're going to get called out one way or another. They're dating women and they're playing them and they're love bombing them because they know that they. They know exactly how to work women. So literally every month I'm hearing about another. Another straight guy who's giving advice that is Shade, Shade, Shade, Shade, Shade.

Yeah. So something to think about.

If it helps you. Yeah. Okay.

I try to call her, but what's, what's going on?

Let me see. Caitlyn said, I miss you so much, Anwar. Thank you. I appreciate it. Okay, let me see. Where to meet men besides the app girl. Here's the tea. Y' all are gonna have to go outside. Now, I know some of the girls in the wintertime are acting like hibernating bears.

But you're gonna have to go outside. There are men out there that are active, that have a full life.

Yeah.

The way that I think about this in terms of going outside is you want to have a Cheers place. You want to have a place every week that you go to at the same day, the same time where everybody knows your name. I think it's important to have your own hobbies.

Okay. I think that's important. So doing something outside of your house that is hobby, like, hobby focused. And then I think it's a. It's. You should have a place where you hunt.

That like, you go there and you on the hunt, girl. It's National Geographic up in here. Yeah. Someone said, go to go grocery shopping Sunday morning. Saturday mornings and Sunday mornings are the best because that's where the men are going to shop for their meal prep. That or late night on a weekday. I'm talking like 9pm.

Okay.

That's. If I was going to be hunting at the grocery store, that's where I would be.

But I would mostly do it on a Saturday. Saturday and Sunday. Someone said, I'm not going to lie. I go hunt at Home Depot. It's 50. 50. Most of those guys at Home Depot are married. So if somebody's telling you to go to Home Depot to find a guy, most of them are married and they're going to Home Depot because their wives told them that the door is broken and I need a replacement.

Yeah.

Okay.

And I always say this, but I think it's very important.

When you're going outside, I think it's very important for you to go to places that have either a visible or invisible velvet ring rope. What does that mean? You need to go to places where everybody is not going to be.

So even though it's cute and fun to go grocery shopping and regular shopping at Walmart and Target.

You might not be able to hunt well there.

I would be at a Trader Joe's. I would be at a Whole Foods.

Yeah.

I would be at a Trader Joe's. Trading Joe's.

Someone said, I need help with dating outside of brown men. Go to Pro Bath shop for the white men, honey. Go to Uniqlo for the Asian men.

Go to the guest store for the Hispanic men. Yeah, Go to Comic Con for the nerds.

Is that helpful?

I hope it is. Honey. Don't ever say I didn't tell you nothing.

Okay? Go to those. Yep. Go to those golf stores, those sporting stores.

You think I'm lying? I'm not.

Who do you want to get? I'm going to tell you where to go. Who you want to get.

Who you want to get. Someone said, not the guest store. No, I'm serious, honey. They. Those Hispanic men will go to the guest store with a wad full of cash.

Someone said, the farmers markets.

I don't like those farmer market guys. If he has his own stand in the farmer's market, yes. If he's shopping at the farmer's market, no shade. I can probably get him. Or he's probably some sort of actor or musician who has narcissistic tendencies.

Bria said, black woman dating divorced white male pilot. Advice. I would never date a pilot.

Pilots have a God complex.

Maybe those God complexes will reduce now that they're crashing a lot now. I don't know. But pilots are dangerous. They're dangerous like surgeons are. Like lawyers are. Like police and firefighters are. Like military are. And if you don't believe me, ask any flight attendant. They'll tell you the tea.

Someone said, what about run clubs? Run clubs are cute, but if you're going to a run club to meet a guy, it's the wrong reason.

To go to a run club. And if I was going to go to a run club, I would never talk to a man who has his shirt off.

And I would probably talk to the men that are walking, just like I will be walking.

Yeah. Someone said church men who are not at the church volunteer. Well, those are the men that are going to be about it, that are going to be living the word, not just talking about the word.

Okay.

Honey, those pilots are sleeping with all the women and all of the men, they're sleeping with all the flight attendants.

That's why all of those gay flight attendants are so happy. Girl, they always got a smile on their face. They're getting taken care of. No shade.

No shade.

The other thing I will say too, is always go to, like, if you have a certain kind of guy that you like, go to the restaurant with that cuisine. And you don't need to go to the fancy places. Go to like the. The mid places, the authentic place.

Yeah. Very, very important.

Star. JCT said, I love you. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Monique said, I appreciate you. Thank you so much, ladies, for all of the love and Support. And by the way, if there's anything that I'm saying that.

Resonates with you or you feel like I'm spilling, don't be afraid to tap, double tap, triple tap the screen. Give me those likes. Give me those hearts. This is the last time I'm going to talk about this because I don't want to be that girl begging for likes. That's messy. And I'm not that girl. But just want to offer that. Okay.

Okay.

How about guys in finance? Guys in finance are often having dinners with clients and then going to strip clubs.

Okay. Lynn's Love Lift Said gave a gift on the third date and it went so well. Happy for you, sister. Happy for you. I love when my. When my ladies are successful in dating.

I just today just got a. What is my thing? A wedding invitation for a wedding in June that I'm going to go to. So I'm super excited about that. It brings a lot of, you know, joy to me to be able to do this work and have women find the love of their lives. So, you know, if that's something that's of interest to you, definitely don't be afraid to book a consultation call with me. We're getting about three to five women into relationships every week and about one to two engagements a month. Yeah. Someone said NFL players.

No.

No, no to professional athletes.

Okay, someone said athlete. No, no athletes.

Let me see what's going on here.

What other question do you have? Get wasted. Goddess said. What's the best way to spark a small conversation with a guy at a gym? So the way that I think about it is.

You can one, you can be boring and simple and like give eye life and smile. That always works. I just think that's a little bit boring. I tend to think that the traditional way of engaging with guys and doing this, it's boring. But also it's actually kind of not going to be as effective as it used to be. Men are not approaching women in the same way that they used to. Whether it is, you know, based on being in a post Me too environment, whether it is just post pandemic and often because these guys are. Many of them are in their feminine energy and also really sensitive to rejection. So you. What I think is you're going to have to be a little bit more outspoken or show that you're much more interested in these men. So I would ask for a recommendation, I would ask for help.

I would give a compliment. Oh, my God, I love that shirt. Where did you get it from? Oh, my God. Can you help me put this weight on here, please? Oh, my God. You seem like someone who comes here a lot. If I'm looking to work my triceps, which machine do you think that I should use and which actual exercises do you think that I should use should I do? Okay, can you show me exactly how to do that exercise, please? Oh, my God. You're really working those triceps. How long have you been working with those triceps? Is that all you do?

That's it, ladies. Yeah.

Okay. Reset dating as a plus size dark skinned woman. Here's what I know. And don't mind me, girl. My stomach's been crazy all, all day. I think I'm pregnant. I think I'm in my first trimester. I think I am the new Brenda has a baby.

Inappropriate. Inappropriate. The girls who know. No, the girls who know know how inappropriate that joke was. I am not Brenda.

I apologize. I apologize to Brenda and I apologize to all the. All of the girls that were Brenda. Never again. Never again will I say that. Never again.

I'm sorry. I apologize.

Okay.

Big Lex says when a guy goes ghost and nothing has changed, what's the reason? I don't care what the reason is. There is no reason. I can give you 12 different reasons. It doesn't matter if he ghosts. He's not into it and he's not ready and he's out. That's just it. Okay. Yeah.

Thoughts on long distance? I love long distance. The thing is the gag is that.

I think that your person might not be in your city. And that's okay. And you know when you are getting tired of like say, being on the apps in your city. Put an app in a different city.

Yeah, put an app in a different city. Okay, thank you so much. Someone said you didn't answer the dark skinned girl question. Okay, here's the thing.

Darker skin plus sized women are going to need to get with tall, skinny white nerds. That's it. Or you can get with.

Like black and Hispanic eyes are going to be into you, Avi. No shade.

And older men.

Oftentimes bodybuilders. Any guy that is just hungry, no shade. Is going to be into a plus size woman. A guy that is half your size will be into you. Whoever just looks and is hungry will want you. Will want to eat you. Okay?

So please understand that you think I'm lying and you think I'm trying to be funny, but I am not. It is scientifically proven.

Okay? So if he grew up hungry, he's into you. So all Those Caribbean men, those African men, no, shade, they're into you too, but they're dangerous, so I would never recommend being with them. Prisoners, military men, they're going to be into you because the government doesn't feed people well, so they're going to be into you too, but don't be with them because they're dangerous. Okay?

Someone said I'm a. Feed him. No, don't feed those, don't feed those prisoners, Honey, don't freak. Those military men, you think I'm lying, but I'm actually telling the goddamn truth, honey. You think I'm just. I'm here for the gags. I'm not. Do you hear me?

Someone said, who's dangerous?

Military men.

They'Re dangerous. Caribbean and African men are dangerous. All of that.

Someone said feed them in dust. I know that's right, girl.

Oh, my gosh.

So I hope that helps all the plus sized girls out there. I know some of y' all think that nobody's checking for you. If they're hungry, they're checking for you.

Those bodybuilders that have to eat a little piece of chicken and broccoli and like couscous every day.

They want you.

Okay? Yes, honey, look for the hungry men, Honey.

I've got. Y' all going crazy now. Honey.

Don'T. Yeah, the veterans will want you too, girl. But don't, don't go with the veterans, girl. They got PTSD and now they're not going to have any money. Trump's going to take it all, honey. No shade.

So definitely I would not be, I would not be into military. Any, anyone that has a government job, any sort of veteran. I would not be. I would not be here for. Not now, maybe in four years.

Okay?

Nikki said, wildest advice ever. You think it's wild. It's actually very true. Someone said military men got benefits. For how long?

For how long do they. That's my, that's my whole thing.

Gonna have to date differently in a Trump administration. Okay.

Someone said, Oracle said you've been on one since the start of 2025. Because you know what?

You are going to have to be on one for 2025. I hope that you understand that you are going to have to date differently this year and under this administration, you're going to have to be stricter with your boundaries and you're going to have to be a little bit mean to these boys.

Okay?

Dom said you are one of the funniest but most truthful people I've ever heard. I try to keep it real. I try to tell you the things that other people aren't telling you. A lot of these people will just give you like, you know, inspirational IG quotes and think that they're doing something for you. I try to let you know, like, what I think is going to happen so that you can be best prepared. And sometimes people think I'm rude or do things for likes or to be viral. I don't really care.

I talk to you like I talk to my best friend. These conversations. And I tell my best friend this all the time. It's funny because ever since I started chatting and telling y' all the same things that I tell my best friends.

Y' all start dating differently. Yes, honey, mean is the new Nice in 2025.

So please understand that someone said. Someone said I love you after two to three months. Red flag or green flag? I don't really talk in flags. I think that most men will fall in love after the three month mark.

So generally, in my experience, it's been anywhere from month four in a relationship to month nine. Now, if he's Haitian or Nigerian, he's going to tell you that he loves you in the first month. But you have to understand that when.