Dating Q & A 03-15-24

Hello, hello, hello, everyone.

Hello, hello, hello. I hope you're doing well. I hope you're doing well, well, well. Omg. Happy Friday. I hope you had an amazing week. This has been a very intense week, I think, for so many people. But the weather has improved. So, my loves, what is really going on?

Why are you online? And why are you not outside touching some grass and touching some men? Seeing how things have warmed up. Why are you here on a Friday night with me?

I'm not your boyfriend. I'm just your fairy godbrother.

Yeah, y' all need to be outside. Go to a bar.

Go to a lounge.

Go to a restaurant, go to a country club, bitch. Play pickleball. I don't care. Someone said it's bedtime. Girl, it. Girl, it's just starting. Someone said Uber eats. You better get somebody to Uber.

Uber yourself somewhere else and get it eaten. You know what I'm saying? Girl.

Look, I'm just trying to look out for you, honey. Yeah, the manifest room say we need to start applying. What you've been saying? I'm. Girl, I can only give you the deets. I can only give you the information. Y' all gotta do something with it.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Someone said we just got off work. All right, it's time to play.

Michelle said our boyfriends are going to walk into this live and find us.

Uh huh.

If you believe that, girl, then you must also believe that I am in love with women. Honey.

Straight, straight, straight, straight.

Straight.

Don't do it, girl. Don't do it.

Yeah.

Oh, Lord. Honey, y' all gonna get me started.

And my blood pressure ain't ready for it. Honey.

At least be on the apps while you're on this live. Honey, at least be on the apps. Honey. Don't do me like that. I can't be talking just in the space, honey. And y' all not doing nothing with it. We better be flirting, you hear me? Okay. Fun Fun said doing a hot girl walk tomorrow. Good. A David's faith said. You're right. I should be outside. At least be on your porch, honey, for the men to walk by so you can say one quick little hi to them. Come on now.

Even if you have to go granny on.

Give him that wave from the porch. Honey.

Do something. Lord have mercy. Jesus.

All right, let me see what y' all talking about.

Hello, everyone. Hey, Sarah, Reina, Yolanda, Coco, Mermaid, Little Pretty. Should I do my. My, my traditional Whitney, Glam, Tam, Ash, Chile Brown, Love me, Mari, Cynthia, Brittany, Lena, Mari, Ste.

Jackie said you're our man. No, I am not, sweetie. I'm a lay t with a T. Latee. Uh huh.

All right, y'. All, here's the gag.

Y' all need to be out for St. Patty's Day on Sunday, honey. Get you an Irish man. Honey.

I want you wearing all green, girl. You hear me? That is your challenge for this week. Who is accepting this challenge? Who is accepting this St. Patrick's Day challenge? And you get more points if he's red headed, honey. If he's ginger, you're getting two points, girl. If he's just a regular Irishman, you get one. If he's anything else, you get zero points. Girl, I don't care. I don't care. You hear me? Don't come back to this live unless you have five points.

You hear me? Who's ready for this challenge? Give me a salute. Honey.

It's Chrissy Said. Your video is pausing. I don't know if it's my service or what. Girl, I think it's your service. Girl, you got to pay that bill. No shade that wi fi bill.

My is clear, honey. Smooth.

Okay, let me see what's going on here. Someone said it's safe for hair. No, it's not, girl. No, it's not, because I'm gonna talk about your behind until you go outside and talk to these men. Honey.

Let me see what y' all talking about. We just got off work. The apps are not apping. They are not, girl. But you gotta do something. You gotta do something, honey.

Mari said not you calling us out. I got. On a Friday night, I got. I got to. And you know, I'm pretty grammatically correct when I speak, but, girl, you all going to get me upset. I'm going to have to step outside of my grammar, outside of the very prestigious educational institutions that I've gone to to get y' all out.

Someone said it's Ramadan. I knew a black man named Ramadan.

Yeah.

Y' all need to observe him.

Oh, gosh. Oh, my gosh. Ignorance.

In all seriousness, it might be glitching, but IG always glitches. Girl, I don't know what to do about that. So maybe y' all need to come to TikTok. Honey, there's 500 ladies. There'll probably be a thousand ladies up in here, girl. And just FYI, for those of you that don't know me, my name is Coach Anwar. I'm a dating coach for black and brown women. If you are interested in learning about what I do, definitely click the link. In my bio and learn what I do. I have free trainings. I have a link to book a consultation call if you want to work with me. I have a link to my podcast, which is like a top relationship podcast in the world.

And if there's anything that I say on this live, definitely tap the screen, double tap, triple tap the screen to the point where you have.

Arthritis or carpal tunnel and so we can get these likes up. Yeah. All right, let me see what y' all are talking about. Me said, hey, fairy godbrother. Hello. Mari Stevens said, do Australian men like black women? I don't trust Australian men.

Those are the criminals of the English, girl. And the English are already colonizers and criminals, girl. The Australian men don't like black women. You'll you never hear me talk about Australian men because they're not it.

They're not it, girl. Ananda said, love your insight. Thank you. Sandy said, where's the music, girl? Only on Sundays, girl. It keeps me the music on a Sunday, keeps me centered, honey. Sarah said, do you recommend blocking men? Oh, just FYI, for the girls that are not in that, like, don't understand what we're doing here, you put your questions in the comments and I will answer them in the order that I see them. Questions about love, dating, relationships, and men or women or anything in between.

Jb, XOXO said, I did in Australia, but he had crazy ADHD energy. Yeah, girl, they hopping around from woman to woman like the kangaroos there, girl.

Yeah. Aerial said, do you recommend blocking men? If they are emotionally abusive and you don't feel safe, then yeah, you should block them. Hey, Chrissy.

Victoria said, how many solo dates should we be going on a month? Well, girl, every time.

First of all, you should be thinking about this, not like, oh, I need to go on a solo date this many times a month. Every time you go out is an opportunity to connect and to learn something and to be with somebody. Yeah. So that's how I want you to be thinking about this. I don't want you to be like, just checking these things off on a box, girl. Every time you go out, even if you go into your mailbox, girl.

You better talk to that mailman. Honey, you better talk to that guy walking home from, from, from work. Every opportunity is an opportunity. David's Faith said, what do you think about the Facebook dating app? Girl? No shade. Nobody's on Facebook anymore. The same people that are on Facebook are the same people that are playing pickleball. 50, 60 plus, girl. And that's no shade to them, girl. But most of y' all in here are. Not that.

I wouldn't do it. That's all I gotta say. All right, I see a lot of y' all are accepting this challenge, which I totally love. Like I said before, I need five points from you. A lot of the girls are like, oh, my God, if I get one number, it's cute. Honey, we live in abundance here. Which means anytime you go out, I want you to have at least three of them. A gold medalist, a silver medalist, and a bronze medalist. The gag is never leave with one of these guys. Just get their numbers and keep it moving. You never want to stay with a guy for a long time when you're out and about like this, because the way that guys think, they're going to think, oh, my God, that guy's like, they're together. So I'm not going to engage with her, girl. 5, 10 minutes. Keep it moving. Keep it moving, girl. Inertia. Move, move, move, move, move. Don't get stuck. And when that five, ten minutes goes around, just be like, oh, my God. All right, I'm gonna keep it moving. I'm gonna talk to some other people. But find me. Find me a little bit later, right? Always have them chasing you, and always tell them that they need to find you a little bit later. Yeah. So literally an hour goes by, you got 20 men trying to find you, girl. Girl, you got. You got people chasing you, girl. Did you ever watch that movie the Fugitive with Harrison Ford, girl? Bitch, you're the fucking fugitive, girl. They're all chasing you. That's what you want. You hear me?

Yes, honey, yes. This is what we do. This is how we do it.

Have them chasing you, girl. Have them chasing you. All right, girl, so this is how we're gonna do it. All right, Let me see what the girls are talking about. Casey said, how do you feel about natural hair and dating? Girl, whatever hair that you love, rock it. Just understand that when it's natural, girl, those white men are going to be flocking to you, girl. It's like catnip. Yeah, Chris, understood. Thank you so much for the Little crown. Awaken with Annette Said advice for dating white men. What do you mean, girl? What advice are you looking for? Because it's not much different than.

Other men. They just won't be as assertive when they're flirting. You might have to start the conversation with them. Yeah, but, girl, please wear that natural hair.

Please. Lovely. It's beautiful.

Yeah. The European men love natural hair. That's what.

I don't even know how to even pronounce this. Jermaine Canting said, totally agree with that.

Lanisha said, he called me weird when he provoked me and blocked me on Instagram, yet he still hovers in my views. Girl, just because a guy watches your story or views your shit, it doesn't mean anything. He's just trying to, like, keep tabs on you, but it doesn't mean that he likes you. Just like, no shade. Like sometimes you'll, you'll check on those people that like you kind of like but didn't like in college or in high school or in a certain chapter in your life. It's not like you really want to be with them. You just want to see what are they doing, what's going on, and then you keep it moving. Yeah. Hey, your girl Beast.

Mari said, Anwar speaks facts. I try, girl. I try. Rezzy said, all they want to do is have. All they want is to have fun. Who? The Irish. I know. And they're so much fun, girl. They're so much fun. Get into it.

P said, do age gap relationships work well? What's the age gap? Girl, there's a difference between 50 and 20 versus 30 and 40. Yeah. Jane said, I'm Australian. Nar.

Your girl be. Thank you so much for the ice cream cones, girl.

Golden lady said, omg. He's on podcast Attic. Who is?

I don't even know what that is.

Awaken with Annette said, Do you do audits? I'm seeing someone but have doubts and want to know if I'm wrong. No, my programs are like, very.

Very thorough and they're six to 12 month months. Yeah, I don't do like one offs. I'm really about transformation here. Yeah, girl, I can give you a fish or I can teach you how to fish. Thank you so much for the hat.

Appreciate that.

Abcdefg why am I attracted to overconfidence? We oftentimes are attracted to things that we don't have. That's why a lot of the girls are really attracted to, like, charisma or people that are, like, loud and brash because, like, we oftentimes will live through them and be inspired to them, by them and try to emulate them. Right. So it's probably because we might have a confidence issue. Girl. And I say that with love and respect.

Hello, J. Free. Good to see you, girl. As she said, not kangaroos. Yes, girl, kangaroos. That's what the Australians are all about. Girls, they. Girl, they get around, girl. If you look at, if you look at the research and the statistics. Australians have a very high sexual partner rate.

Same with the Turkish girl.

They go hip hop, hip hop.

Hey, it's Wiggies Said, I miss you. Miss you too, girl. Miss you too.

Jazzy Said, where are the events for St. Patrick's in Montreal? Well, here's the gag and thank you all so much for reminding me. My partner's name is Patrick. So we, I always set up a little party, a little something something for him on St Patrick's Day just to celebrate him. So Sunday's the day, girl.

Felicity said, where can I go alone on a Friday night in Long Beach, California? I'm off the apps, girl. You go downtown girl. Go to Hollywood, go to Beverly Hills. Long beach is cute girl, but.

Let'S have a little bit of action. Go to Hollywood, girl.

Angelica said, Nigerian men. Well I have done a whole video on that and I've had a whole entire country of men try to curse me because I spilled some tea on that. Yeah. Do not, do not, do not be. I will say this, it's very tricky. So.

I would check that video out. But ladies, let our girl Angelica know what, what our experience, a collective experience has been like when it comes to Nigerian men.

Let us let, let the girl know, honey, we're a family here.

You aka said Anwar Anwar, 55 and 40 year old, has been reaching out long distance. Met him on a live. Hopefully not my live girl.

A baby. Said, how soon should it take a man to declare you girlfriend? Two and a half to three months.

Anything more than that girl is not. That's not it girl. He not into it. He should know.

Breezy Said, how do you feel about coffee dates? I love them. I love coffee dates. I love drink dates. I like very informal first dates so that we can just figure out and have a very clear understanding and evaluation of the data. A lot of men and oftentimes a lot of like not narcissistic guys will try to impress overly impress you to the point where you are overestimating the data because the date is nice. Do you know what I mean?

Fishing Said, I have a problem. My problem isn't getting men, it's getting them to take me seriously. Well, it really depends. Like, so where are you meeting these men? Are you just letting them pick you up in the wild? Because girl, don't let men hunt you. That's what they will do if they're trying to pick you up in the wild. And when they do that, that's freaking wild. Yeah. If you're at Target Focus on your shopping, don't let some rando pick you up at Target. You want to be in curated spaces. I always say, with either a physical or invisible velvet rope. Okay. And I have a feeling that you're giving time to these guys that are hunting you in the wild. And because they're unserious, they're not taking you seriously.

Ariel, Dean, thank you so much for the heart me.

JS said, I'm not excited about the thought of dating. Is that weird? No, Most people aren't. But you need to get to a neutral place to start dating. If you're negative, it's not gonna work. And don't force the funk, girl. Rezzy said, what challenge? The challenges for St. Patrick's weekend, girl, you need. You will get two points for an Irishman.

No, two points for a redhead, one point for an Irishman, and then zero points for any other guy. I guess I'll give you a half a point for the non Irish. Okay.

Good. That's a challenge if y' all accept it. You gotta give me one of these.

Giovanna said, do you work with women 50 and over? 100%. I was just chatting with a woman in her 60s yesterday that she's probably gonna sign up. Yeah, most definitely.

Shelly said, 20 men chasing me is a little scary. Girl. Pretend like you're that little doll in the squid game and you have all of the men walking toward you like this. Girl. Pew, pew, pew, pew. Each and every one of them, girl, you're that squid game, girl.

Don't be scared of men.

Oh.

Okay. Let me see what the. What the T is.

Yo, Willie said, the Nigerian video is so on point. Thank you, girl. Kayla said, jewish men.

Living for black women. It is a little. It's a little dodgy right now. They're really sensitive about their. Like, Erykah Badu would say, got a lot going on. So it might be a tense time. No shade. But I would. Okay, so you can't say anything about this group of people on Tick Tock or anywhere else, but I will just say that.

I would focus on others. Yeah, It's a very sensitive time for that group. GM said, I love your voice and you're so handsome. Thank you. But also, my man will not, will not, will not, will not accept you flirting with me.

And he's very chill until he's not. And when he's not, girl, I stand right to the back, girl. And I let him do what his white rage makes him do, honey.

Oh, my gosh, girl. So be careful. Don't Wake. Don't. Don't poke the bear.

Jhan said, why y' all like Nigerian men? It's not that people like Nigerian men. No Shade. What they like is the. Is the romanticism, because the Nigerian men will play into your romance the way that most women have been conditioned and programmed to think about romance. And they play into that at the beginning. And so that is why you all can get, like.

Kind of sucked into the web. Okay. Because it's like they're doing everything for you. They're calling you, they're giving you flowers, they're opening the doors, right? They're doing all of that. And then slowly, the mask will start to come off. Right?

So depending on where. A lot of people ask about that, because at the very beginning of the courtship.

It seems like a dream.

Yeah.

Yeah. Someone said, is he French Canadian and more. My partner. Yes, ma'. Am. That's why I'm here in Montreal. Oui, oui, bonjour.

Yeah.

Yes.

As I can see. Up and down. And thank you all so much, though, for the almost 25,000 likes here on on Tik Tok. Girl. Everybody is saying no to the Jamaican men. I haven't seen one person say yes. Yeah.

June, girl said, omg. Saw your post about a man asking you to be his piece. My narc X said this all the time. So true. Never let a man. Never let a man. Never let a man. If he says, I want you to be my peace. He's got a war inside of himself. Run the other way, girl. World War Three.

Yeah. Chrissy said Jamaican men are a huge. No. Yes. Jamaican men are Nigerian men without the money. So.

Everything that I said about Nigerian men. You can also say that about Jamaican men, too, now. Oh, my God. Everybody. Everybody gets on my ass because I speak in generalizations. When I speak in that. I mean, the majority of them. Okay.

Kai said you should host speed dating on here. Anwar. I gotta find girl. I'm not gonna just put any old guy in front of y'. All. 1. Some of y' all thirsty. Gonna eat them right up. No shade, girl. It's been a while for some of us. But second, like, you know, I'm very protective of my community. And, you know, I treat all of my. My girls, my ladies, like sisters, like family. So a guy has to be legit. Too legit to quit, as my mentor would say.

So I have to vet him, and I don't have time to vet men. I'm like, too.

I'm too busy helping my clients get into great relationships. So I'VE had two clients get into relationships this week. Usually there's anywhere from one to three clients every week. One woman in Vermont, another woman in New York. So if you ever make an excuse about your location, girl, my girl, she got her guy. Redhead and up there. Honey, I don't want to hear any excuses. It's possible. Okay. To put this charger on my phone. Honey.

Yeah. Cooking with Carly said. Hi. Amore. So glad you are on live. Thank you. Girl, I'm not going to be on here for a long time, girl, because I gotta get my beauty sleep. Girl.

What's going on with my. Okay, I gotta get my beauty slam.

Alana said I got ghosted at two months. Broke my heart. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. But please understand.

I always tell people this and I think it's really important. And I want you to think about this as well. Every week that you talk to a guy, you only know them about 3%. Yeah. So please understand that this guy that if you were talking to him for two months, you only knew like a quarter of him. It's very hard to make a determination when you only know about a quarter of a guy. Yeah.

In less than 30. Said, I just moved from SoCal to Dallas. And dating scene for this black girl has been transformative. Yeah. LA is the third hardest city to date in. The second hardest is Houston. The first hardest in it is Atlanta. The fourth hardest is Miami. The fifth hardest is Phoenix.

Yeah.

Breezy84. Thank you so much for the fire girl. Yo, Willie. Thank you so much for the tgif.

India said, what is the wild Picking you up in the wild. This means offline. When you're just like living your life and some if you're pumping gas and someone picks you up, that is the wild. He's picking you up in the wild. Yeah.

Tiffy said, damn. So my man not in Houston. He may be, girl, but it just means that it's going to take you a while to find him. Yeah. When my clients say that they're in any of those cities, I know it's going to take at least a year to find their guy in my program.

Why do guys I date always try to humble me? Well, a couple of things. You might be in your masculine energy, and when you're in your masculine energy, what will happen is that you will attract two kinds of guys. One, who is.

And by the way, most women of color are in their masculine energy because they have to, unfortunately.

But you will attract a guy that's in his dominant feminine energy. And who's regressed into a teenage boy and who's looking for a mother or. Or a guy that's in his hyper masculinity or toxic masculinity, who will try to humble you, force you to submit into your feminine. Yeah, so that's one reason. The other reason is. And I did a video about this, five categories that guys put you in. You might be out of their league. And when you're out of a guy's league, he will try to humble you so that he doesn't feel inadequate.

And Jay said, what about the gym? Yeah, girl, go to the gym. Girl. The gym is good, especially if you are plus size curvier. Girl. Those bodybuilder guys, they're into you. They live for you. They want. They can't get enough of you, girl. Some of the girls, when I tell them to do that, they're like, I don't need you to be telling me to go to the gym. And I'm like, girl, that's not why I'm telling you to go. I'm telling you to go so you can get you a bodybuilder, girl, because they're living for you. And here's the thing about dating.

You're somebody's type. You've got to figure out whose type you are and really lean into it. Yeah, when I was doing my due, I realized I have a lane. And you know what the. You know the guys that live for me, Teachers. So you know what I was saying? Gotta get me and gotta get myself a teacher. Honey, lo and behold, this guy's talking. This guy's a teacher. Some of y' all accountants, some of y' all IT tech, some of y' all gamers, some of y' all lawyers, some of y' all finance guys figure the hell out who your guy is, right? What are the patterns of the guys that have been living for you? And lean into that. That's why I make all these videos about the white guys that are into black girls, right? Or, you know, the non black guy or, you know, the kinds of black guys that are into black women or what have you. So, you know, oh, my gosh, if I see an Italian guy, if I see a Jewish guy, if I see a European guy, if I see an artist who's on top of his game, if I see a redhead, right?

Let me lean in.

That's why. That's why I do it, girl. Jesse, thank you so much for the compliment. She said, love your content. Appreciate it.

And Ella said, club promoters, dj, nightlife, event Guys in general are red flags, right?

They are wildly unserious.

And less than 30. Thank you so much for the 14 roses.

I appreciate it.

Trashy Flower said he doesn't initiate dates, but is enthusiastic every time I suggest and pays. You shouldn't have to suggest.

This man is not in his fem. I'm not in his masculine.

You start, you. You finish how you start. You set a precedent. And right now you've created a situation where you're going to always have to ask a man to do something for you. It's not a good sitch.

Don't say another thing. Trashy flowers. Okay.

Meslinda said, advice for Eastern European girls.

Girl. No advice for you.

Have fun, do you? Feduma said, anwar, hi. Hello. Hello. Hello. How are you?

DD Mo said, irishmen are great. I had one and loved it. Girl, Go, go, go to Ireland this summer, honey. Get you about three or four good ones. So much fun, so great.

Glorious. Sita said, St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow. I think it's on Sunday. Should I hit the streets or pubs to catch a lucky charm? Yes, girl, but you came. You must have come in late. Girl. The challenge is do.

Get yourself.

As many men as possible this weekend. You will get two points for a redhead, one point for an Irish guy and and half a point for any other guy. And your job is to get five points. Yes, yes. You have to have fun with dating. And I know a lot of y' all are competitive, so that's why I do these challenges in my lives.

Someone asked about Lisbon, Portugal. Great for fun, but they will not marry you. And many of them are very poor.

Like impoverished. That's not me coming for them.

By the way.

Missy said, what? What if I am a redhead? Let your powers combine with another one, girl. You are Captain Planet.

Yes, honey, that's when two becomes one, honey.

Let me see what y' all are talking about. Scotland too, girl. Scotland too.

Kristalline said, how long should I wait for him to make it official? If he hasn't made it official within three months, girl, you got to bring it up.

Our Bloom said bodybuilder Jim Bros love curvy women 100%. This is the thing. And they have. But they have to, like, those are the guys. They have to come go to the gym every day.

Right? Not the ones that go like once or twice a week, girl. They're not in it to win it. Those are not the guys that will be, you know, pumping you up and doing sets with you. You need the real the meatheads the bodybuilders, creatine realness. Yeah.

Let me see what you're talking about over here.

Smiley face. I can vouch. Muscular men love me. You gotta. You gotta know who's living for you. Yeah. If you are a plus siiz curvier woman, please understand that the bodybuilders, the gamers, the black and Hispanic men, the guys that are 20 years older than you.

And the guys that are half your size, those are the guys that are living for you.

Yeah. Don't try to get with the bigger guys, girl. A lot of the times there they will use. They will use their. Or project their own fatphobia onto you.

That's been my experience in a dating. Being a dating coach for about 14 years.

Yeah. Didi Mosa, you are awesome. Amore. Thank you, girl.

Autumn said, don't bodybuilders have small sausages? Some of them too, girl. If they were on those roids, girl.

Snatch some of that sausage right up, girl.

You write about it, but no shade, girl. You know, depending. Depending on your tea, girl, and what your your size is, girl. Because you know, some girls are packing and some girls aren't. Some girls have. Have different fits. Yeah. So if you have a certain fit, girl, that small sausage might be your tea.

The research says that.

Different races have different vaginal sizes, right? So just depending on your fit. Some are tighter black girls, some are longer white girls, some have a greater circumference. My Hispanic girls, again, on average.

Let me see what else y' all talking about up in here.

Green tea goody Said, what if you attract covert street pharmacists.

Girl.

If that's the case, I need you to get with real pharmacists. I need you to get with in store pharmacist girl. Go to your local cvs, Walgreens, Target and stay there, girl. Don't be outside.

Someone said, I posted my question in the question chat. Please check. I don't check the question tab. Just put them in the chat. That's how I read the questions.

Michelle Said, hi, Fairy Godbrother. Hello. I hope everyone's doing well.

Darling. Said, if he paid for the dinner. Is that a date? Did he set everything up?

What's that tea? Simone said just went out on a dinner date today with a guy that has a master's in computer science. Girl. You're set, girl. Yes, girl, that. Girl, you're on the right track. You're on the right track, girl. This is what I'm talking about. If I have any college student girls in here, I want to Let y' all know, stop going to those college games, girl. Stop going to the humanities building. You better be living, doing your homework in the library, in the engineering building and the computer science building.

And if you're a black girl in college, because I know there's some of you in here, study abroad so that you can learn a language, put that language on your resume. But also, you're going to need to beef up your dating and love resume because most. Most black girls are starting to date around college age anyway. And if you. If you study abroad in Latin America and. Or in Europe, girl, you have three to five boyfriends at all times. That's how you get fluent in a language, and that's how you, like, beef up your love resume. Yeah.

Girl, that's why I am fluent in six languages now, girl. Everywhere I went, Germany, Italy, I always had five boyfriends, girl.

Oh, to be young again.

Thank you all so much for the almost 44,000 likes up in here. Appreciate it.

Our bloom, thank you so much for the rose.

That's right. And the money tree said, lmfao. That's how you get fluent in a language. It's the D. 100%. 100%.

Ayanna Kai said, and why I love you truly. You serve us with the realness. I try, girl. I try. I think some of the girls think, like, I'm just trying to gag y', all trying to get likes. Girl, I just try to tell you what I know, and then I hope that you live where in Latin America. Well, if you want life, you can go to Colombia with an O.

Brazil.

Ecuador.

Panama. Mexico. Mexico. Merida.

Kim, Ashley, thank you so much for the 34 roses. Very nice of you. I appreciate it.

Let me see what you all are talking about.

Tarara, thank you so much for the 12 roses.

Pekky said, how long should I wait till he initiates one date? When it's the first date? One week, girl. One week. He's either bad about it or not, especially in this economy. Like, a lot of these guys are not taking a lot of women out on dates because it's expensive to date.

And so they will, like.

They'll, like, play with you for a long time on these apps and via text, but so that's why I'd say one week. If he can't do it, he's out.

Jen said, I love amore. Thank you, girl. Our bloom said, I talk way too much. That's the gag, girl. You want to make sure that you're talking at a 50, 50 conversation ratio. Some of the girls on here will tell you, don't say anything, let him talk. No, you don't want him to do that. You don't want to do that. You want to see if he has the.

He has the respect of women to be able to allow you to have a convert. Like have an opinion and respect it. A lot of these men like don't want to hear from women. They just want you to be a microphone. And he just talks all of the time. Yeah, don't do that. You have opinions, you have intelligence, you have agency and independence and you want to share that and see how he is able to handle that. Because a lot of guys aren't able to handle that. And you want to know that quickly. Yeah. Before you get too deep in the game.

Zenbibe said, he tried to kiss me on the first date. Red flag. No, not necessarily. But I will tell you, a lot of guys who are very serious about you probably won't make a move on you and that's because they are being overly respectful of your boundaries and they don't want to mess things up.

Serpentine said, how about men from Turkey? They love black women but the thing is.

They got little things, girl. They got little things. The saddest thing ever.

But they, they'll live for you.

If you are, if you're a black woman. You want to go to Greece, southern Italy and or turkey, girl. Goddess goddesslife.com.

Twiggy Small said, it's the saddest thing ever. It really is one of my when I was living in Germany one of my first boyfriends was Turkish and.

It didn't work out.

Nick Wash said, amwear after dark. Love your lives. Thank you girl.

Is that the Nick Wash that I know now.

Let me see what the T is honey.

Okay. Hey Nick Wash, good to see you girl.

German guys live for black women. I lived in Germany for 18 months.

I think I was proposed to three times. Girl. I could have been Angela Merkel but I decided not to.

They love us girl. They can't get enough of us. Yeah.

Honey. The tea with the German man is like because the history is so stained girl. They've over course corrected and now they're overly open girl.

Jing said, okay, now I get the name. My dad is German. He married my dark skinned mama 42 years ago.

I'm not surprised.

Berg Pora said agreed with the Portuguese men. Danny said, just saw your video about texting and you're 100 correct. I hope so girl. I'm a dating coach. I've been a dating coach for 14 years. I have seen it all. I've coached it all. I've gotten thousands of women into amazing relationships. A couple weeks ago, I was in New Orleans for a client's wedding. Since then, I've had, I don't know, six or seven different clients get into exclusive relationships. So.

Girl.

It is what it is. Yeah.

Let me see what you all are talking about.

DD Mo thank you so much for the team bracelet. Tiffany. Thank you so much for the disco love.

Hot Damali said Amar how do you suggest I approach or show my gym crest interest? I'm a bit reluctant. I'm bashful, honey. Don't get bashful, girl. What is this? Snow White, seven dwarves. You're bashful. Don't do that, girl. You got to give Snow White not one of the dwarves. Yeah. So what do you do, girl? You can smile at him, ask him to help you with something. Hey, can you help me put this weight on, please? Or you can ask him, you know, can you help me, like, deal with this? You seem like you know your way around. You always, like, if you are engaging with a man in the wild, you can give him a compliment. You can.

Ask for a recommendation, or you can, like, ask for help.

Men love to help. A man won't bond with you or connect with you if he can't help you. That's how they derive their value. So someone said gym bros are super nice.

Many of them are, unless they're on those roids, girls.

So even if they got the little. The pods in, girl, just do one of these. So he knows how to take it out, girl.

So, yeah.

That'S. That's my advice.

Okay, let me give you some more tea, girl. Because a lot of you girls, we don't know how to. How to move the conversation forward after we, like, have that initial two rounds of conversation. So afterward, after he helps you, then you thank him, oh, my God, thank you so much. I really appreciate this. And then you let him know, oh, my gosh.

Like, you want to. You want to ask something about, like, everyday life. Like, oh, my gosh, after this, like, I'm going to go this place, let's say the grocery store or something like that. Then you ask him.

You say, oh, I need to go to a grocery store. Is there one near here? Then he can. He can tell you yes or no. And then you guys can start talking about everyday life. You have to. One of the things that is really important is when you are having a conversation with people, a lot of people will ask questions that Are yes or no. Right. And you want to ask what and how questions so that he will start, like, he'll have to share a story with you. Right. So I gave you like a where? Oh, my God. Where would be the nearest grocery store? I need to pick up some blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? Well, there's a grocery store here. There's a grocery store there. Oh, what one is their favorite? How would I get there?

Right. Oh, do you go there all the time?

What kinds of things do you do? Right. Open ended questions. A lot of people are like.

Not even asking questions.

My girl.

Let's get it together.

Brenda said, big girl dating for the past eight years. I go on dates, but none go past second or third dates. What should I do? It's hard for me to tell because there could be a variety of different things that are happening. So for example.

One of the things that I see that happens a lot is that he doesn't feel, like, emotionally connected to you. So this might be a vulnerability issue. The other thing is a lot of these guys might just be into things that are sexual. So if you're on a third date and you don't give it up, then he's like, okay, I'm gonna just find someone that's easier. Because a lot of these guys are not serious. Like men. They are looking for sex and then they fall in love along the way. And a lot of women are looking for love and have sex along the way. Way. So, you know, if especially around the third date, since that's like the quote unquote golden rule, if that doesn't happen around the third date, they'll probably peace out. So that might be part of.

Someone said thoughts on truckers?

I don't think about truckers.

Some of the girls tell me that the truckers are the motherfuckers because they always got a girl or a family in a diff, different location, girl that they're, you know, not only are they delivering the goods, but they're delivering the goods. Yeah. So that's that. On that pretty panther said, thank you for these gems. You're welcome, girl. I can't say courtship is a thing of the past. A lot of my clients are getting courted. Honey courted like some of these criminals, honey courted like Trump. So my clients are getting courted. So clock it. You got to have a strategy, though. You got to have a dating strategy. And most women don't have a dating strategy in the chat. If you don't have a dating strategy, give me hashtag dating. Hashtag, no strategy. I need to figure out who has a dating strategy, who doesn't. Do you know, like, do you have a framework in terms of how you date? Do you know how to go from first conversation to first date? Do you have a way of going from first date to exclusivity? If not, you may want to think about wanting to work with me, girl.

Yeah, girl, I. I'm. I see18. Hashtag, no strategies. Here on Tik Tok. I see another, I think almost eight no strategies. Y'. All.

Y' all have a strategy for everything else in your lives except for dating. Girl. If you went to work without a strategy, y' all would be fired. Y' all would be in the unemployment line because they would have fired you because you don't know what you're doing. So you can't get the desired result of what you're doing without a strategy.

Nick said, I have a strategy now. Hashtag am I? No, that's right, bitch. No shade. I mean that in the. In the most recycled way, obviously. Yeah, girl.

Strategy.

You need it. Don't. So someone said, hashtag sort of strategy. Girl, there is no sorta.

Sort of strategy. Is no strategy. No shade. Hashtag no shade. Yeah. Oh, my gosh, girls. Girl, I've on tick tock. I've seen 50 no strategies. Come on now. You cannot get mad. You cannot be surprised. You cannot be, like, expecting that something is going to work out for you if you don't know what you're doing.

If you don't know what you're doing, it's going to be very hard to feel confident in it.

If you don't know what you're doing, you will. You may not know where your boundaries are in dating.

It's very important.

Someone said host strategy. And how is that working out? Girl, I want to know. I'm nosy. Yeah. So we got to get a dating strategy.

Super important.

One of the things that we do, one of the first things we do in the program is teach the clients how to have a dating strategy and be consistent with it.

Okay?

It hurts my heart to see all of these. No strategies. Please understand something. This is.

Not coincidental.

Women are not taught how to date, and they are kept in a very disempowered state when it comes to dating.

And if you're a woman of color, we probably didn't get any sort of. We. I'm talking about this collective room did not get instruction from our mothers in terms of how to date because she didn't know how to date.

This is historical. This is a pathology.

Right. Because when we first came to America, we didn't date.

Just got together. I don't know how it was in Yalls junior high, but in my. In my junior high, if you walked home with someone, y' all were going out. If you did one dance with somebody, y' all were going out.

So there was no like, okay, this is like. These are steps to get to a desired relationship outcome. Yeah. So.

If you are looking to learn how to date, to do it with strategy, definitely book a call. Definitely. I also have a dating strategy course if that's something that you're interested in. If the court. If the. The programs that I have that are at the four figure level are way too much. There's also a dating strategy course that's like 149, but it is like worth its weight in gold.

Like thousands of dollars of content in there. Okay. Dio Corp said that was how it was for my generation too.

B soy said I grew up in a white town and always felt undesirable. Here's the gag. The gag is someone asked, how do you access the course? Go to the link in my bio. There should be a tab for all my programs and courses.

What I want you to understand is that all of those little white boys, they liked you, but they were so concerned about their peer group that they could never say anything. So what you took that to mean is that nobody's checking for me, but there were a lot of little white boys that were checking for you. And there are a lot of white men that are checking for you as well.

Someone said, what's your Instagram get your guy? Underscore. Underscore. Coaching. Yeah. They were checking for you.

They were checking for you.

And guess what? These white men are checking for you too. Now this is why I'm one of the few black dating coaches that are always talking about girl date everybody. And I get a lot of shit for it. And I miss out on a lot of media opportunities. You probably won't often see me in places like Essence or other, because that's not part of their MO. A lot of people are pushing black love, but I want to make sure that you are with the best person for you.

I don't care what that looks like. I don't care what package that is. Because what I know is that these non black men are checking for you. They are. The gag is though, you're gonna have to start a conversation.

Christine said, ha. It's true. You're so good with that regarding dating smart outside of your race, too, at times 100%.

I know that there are literally. There are literally not enough black men for black women. For every hundred black women, there are only 88 black men. So there aren't enough. So y' all gonna have to get out.

And the gag is, if he's well to do and he's got his shit together.

It'S a 50, 50 split. He not checking for the black girls. He's checking for the half non black girls and the half black girls. And 80% of the black women are checking for that guy. And he's not checking for you. He's half checking for you.

Yeah. Yeah. Dr. G said that's why some of them double up. Some of them can double up in places like D.C. and North Carolina, Charlotte and Atlanta, where the gender ratio is so off that every well to do black man has six or eight women that are checking for them. So he doesn't have to treat you right, because he can treat you however he wants to because he has five other women that are waiting in the. In the wings for him.

You're probably not going to hear a lot of this from other people.

Because.

It'S depressing. But I want to give you the T, no chaser so that you understand that.

Who was that song?

No, I'm not gonna say it, girl. I'm classy. I'm classy. I'm not. I'm not gonna say it, girl.

But they're not loyal, right? They're loyal to themselves.

So you've got to be loyal to yourself as well. Yeah.

That'S what I want to offer to you.

Good. Let me see what y' all are talking about in here, honey.

And here's the thing. This is something that I think is a very important for many people to understand.

Half to two thirds of my clients end up with black men. This is not me trying to push like, oh, my God. Just. I just want you with a white man. I just want you with an Asian man. No, I just want you with the best man for you.

Yeah.

Queen Nefer Nefertiti said.

I never liked dating non black men. But from now with the type of life I want and how I want to be loved, I am dating outside of my race now. Great. Hello.

Ms. Blackstock. I see you, girl.

Okay, let me see what y' all are talking about.

My gosh, I'm losing my place here. Yes. Brittany said, these bros ain't loyal.

Pamela said, vicious ear tuck. Yes, ma'. Am.

Green tea Goody said I heard San Diego has more men than women. San Diego, Seattle and Austin, I think. Also Denver.

Cheyenne said, I want a white one. Sorry. Not sorry, girl. Stop acting like they're a pocketbook, girl. Yeah. Beautiful reflection set. I only like black men, but I'm going to try out to go outside.

Try them all, see who wins. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. I think a lot of us like black men because. And I like black men as well, because I am one sometimes.

I'm saying all of this to say, if you were born in China, you would probably like Chinese men.

There is kind of a conditioning that happens as well.

Yeah.

So I want to offer that. And many of us. Many of us have a loyalty to black men because.

Oftentimes we have felt like we needed to chase our father's love, and there's a void there. And whether we're conscious of it or not, sometimes we believe, like if we're with a black man, it will rewrite the history of our father wound. So I want to offer that to anyone who can and or will receive it.

Because most of us had mothers that were highly critical or judgmental or dads that were emotionally or physically absent.

Yeah.

So I just want to hold space for anyone who's had that experience and who resonates with any of that.