Dating Q & A 03-17-24

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Let me get this together, honey. Let me get this together, my loves. Yes. Let's put some R B on. Let the girls know.

Exclusive. Hello.

Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone.

Hello, hello, hello. Top of the evening to you.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, honey. Happy St. Patrick's Day. What's the tea? What is the TT? Yes.

Hello, hello, hello. Top of the evening to you. Let me get my little A's together, honey. Let me get a little A cups together. Yes. Money green, honey. Horny green, honey. Who else needs to wear a little green up in here?

Yeah.

Hello, everyone. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Coach Anwar. I'm a dating coach for black and brown women. Really all women. But I center the black and brown experience.

And, yeah, I come on here two, sometimes three times a week if there's a holiday.

And I'm here to answer any of your questions as they relate to love and dating and relationships and men or women. We're inclusive here or anything else. Girl 20, 24 and beyond. Probably going to be 17 genders by the time we're in the ground, honey. No shade. So any. Anything y' all like, I'm here to help you. Yeah.

If you want to learn a little bit more about what I do, you can definitely go to the link in my bio. I have links for free trainings, links for my podcast, the GetYourGuy coaching podcast, links to book a call with me if you want to professionally work with me. It's all up to you. But, honey, we were. I was green, green, green. Because my partner's name is Patrick. And so one of the things that we do every year, me and the kids, is we just celebrate him. Yeah. And we just give him a lot of shit. All day, every day. We call him St. Patrick. All day. So this was. This started from 8:00am Till now. Yeah. And we have a whole cake and a celebration. And this is what we do when we are in a relationship and we want to show appreciation for that. One of the things, not only do I have a dating coaching program, but I have a relationship coaching program for all of the ladies that do get their guys. And, you know, I'm teaching my ladies also. How do you. How do you be in relationships? How do you make sure that you don't just get the relationship, but you're actually thriving? And appreciation and admiration is one of the, like, very important tenets of that. Yeah. All right, let me see what y' all are talking about. And thank you all so much for the almost 2000 likes. We just got on here and you're already liking up a storm. If you. If anything that I say on here resonates with you, definitely. Tap, tap, tap, tap. Tap it in. Tap the screen, honey, and we'll go from there. Hey, Luxe. Cococure. Hey, Imperfectly Patina. Hey Day. Hey, no name. Hey Maya. Hey Lauren, Jordan, Dulcie. Find your joy. Shirley. She said my favorite slab. Hey, girl. Hey, Fit.

Hello, Maureen. Hello rl Events. Hey, my mind's conglomeration. Tisa she said, do all older men text back slow af.

Most of them, girl. Most of them, girl. They'd rather Girl, they would rather put their message in a pigeon than text, honey. You know they got arthritis. Better you better tell them they can call you hot. Damali said, hi, Barry. God rather hey, girl user. Some shady said, oh, finally. Been waiting since this morning.

Yeah, girl, Sundays. I'm doing them in the evening times now just so that I can spend more time with the family. User 697 said, hi there. Happy Patty, St. Patty's Day. Happy St. Patty's Day to y'. All. Find your joy. Thank you so much for the heart me appreciate it. 12:23 said. Love you. You are my love guru. Thank you, girl. But no shaker. I'm no guru. I'm just.

I am a mother of suburban descent.

Doing the best that she can for God and her country. I'm a patriot. An Irish patriot today, but a patriot nonetheless. Yeah.

La Luna said, lol. I'm suddenly feeling lucky. Y' all better get lucky tonight, honey. That's why I have all this green on, so y' all can get lucky tonight. Y' all better be flirting. Who you know, did we all do the challenge that we needed to do, which was get these guys this weekend? Honey, what's the tea? Did you get some guys? Now we got two points for a redhead, one point for an Irishman, half a point for any other guys. How many points y' all have this weekend? I want a point system, honey. Point system. Yeah. Hey, Ambie. Hey, precious.

Hey, Alana.

T Said, what did you and your family do to the. Okay, I see some half points. I see some 1 points. I see some 0 points.

Brightest light said, I can't. I'm doing Ramadan. You can do things in the night time, right? You just can't do it in the daytime.

Girl. No excuses. I don't care about Ramadan, honey. You eat in the nighttime, girl. You get your guy in the nighttime, no shade.

Yeah. Let me see what y' all talking about. All right. I know that's right. I think a lot of people. You, girl, some of y'. All. Now, this is the gag. This is what you need to do on St. Patrick's Day, right? This is how you get into your main character energy. Girl, don't wear a green girl so that you're pinched all day, every day. You know what I'm saying, honey, for the girls who want to be pinched, there are some girls that don't.

I'm the girl who wants to be pinched. That's why I would never wear green on A. On St. Patrick's Day. Yeah. So now I've said, why don't men take it past a certain point with me, they all say I'm intimidating. Girl, believe them. A lot of people when they say that women are intimidating, it's either because these women are too expensive for them and they can't afford them. And I don't mean that like in a, like a objectification way. It means like I can't provide for you and. Or you might be really judgmental and they have no emotional connection to you and they don't feel emotionally safe. This is. These are some of the things that I work on in my program so that we can be more open and deeply connect with men. Yeah, just Julie said, hi. Love your personality. Thank you, girl. Find your joy. Said, what's the tea I want, girl? Lots of tea. Girl Always tea. Girl. Always tea. A little bit of coffee and always a little bit of shade and a little bit of pink lemonade, honey. Yes. Britney said, oh, the skin is glowing. Thank you, girl. Had to put on this nighttime routine cuz right after I get off the this live with you, I am going to bed, sweetie. Got to keep this cute and mute. Samir said, I love your lives just for the good girls. Advice is a plus. Thank you, girl.

Earlene said, love you. Thank you, girl.

Chris St. Said, the way I thought the hat was a live gift. I know, right?

88 days said, not me. Waiting for Sunday for you to go live.

Kind of said, that's so cute. Thank you so much. Yeah, you got to do what you can to keep the relationship alive, honey. Thrive and sweetie thriving user 817. Said, I ruined it with a good guy who liked me because anxiety made me act crazy and mean and suspicious.

The anxiety was driven by your triggers, your trauma and your self sabotage. So we got to figure out what's going on with that.

Yeah.

Let Me see what the gag is. Chantel said, I couldn't find an Irish man today. F for the day, girl. F for the day. F for the day.

Chantel said, I got no points. Y' all get your points. Get your points. We'll probably do another challenge soon. Honey teaser said, do older men move slower? He's 36. I'm 29. That's not significantly older since I'm significantly older than that girl. Don't be calling a 36 year old man or a 36 year old person old girl, because it's not. Yeah.

Heart said four months dating, he doesn't want to commit. Should I move on? Yes, girl should have moved on at the three month mark. That's the dating boundary. If at three months he he's not living, then he needs to die.

The Kalani said, what if he goes on trips with everyone except else but you? Well, if he's not your boyfriend, he doesn't have to take you on a trip. I think sometimes what happens is women are conditioned to think that they have to play girlfriend or audition for girlfriend to become a girlfriend and that's necessarily the case. And if you have that sort of mentality, you will expect the same thing in return and that expectation will keep you disappointed.

Yeah, don't do that. Don't be that girl.

Hello Kyrie. Good to see you girl. Hey Ms. Ma'. Am. Hey. The Kalani Fizz said hi NY yesterday I listened to one of your podcasts and I love it. Good girl. Keep on listening. It's called the get your guy coaching podcast and it is amazing if I do say so myself. Hey Ken Cole, Tammy said, what is going to happen with Victor and I? Girl, I don't know. I'm not the forecaster. Psychic. Gigi last said, literally the only live I watch. Girls, don't give me that pressure. Girl, don't give me that pressure.

This has said, if a man tells you he doesn't know what to do with you, what's that mean? Men are very, very straightforward and simple. It literally means he doesn't know what to do with you. Which should be. Should give you pause and make you want to step away. Because what it means is he hasn't pegged you out and he doesn't have a plan for you. And a man without a plan is a man you don't want to be with. Yeah.

I mean to say, what are your thoughts on dating accountants? I love it, girl. I love it.

Those are like some of the professions that I live for. The engineers, the guys in tech, the accountants, some blue collar workers. Get it and be said. What are your thoughts on Greek men? I think they're great for holiday flings. I don't think that they are really trying to marry you. I mean, do you know any black women that are with Greek men?

I don't. And I'm like in it to win it.

B kair said, are you mixed? I think that we are all a mix of everything.

Rania said, hi, Amwar. What do you think about dating a famous man? Well, number one. Spill it. Number two.

I think that women should be the prize. And if you're dating a famous man, he will be the prize.

T said, that makes me feel a little better. He asked to call this week. I'm like, why not tonight? He doesn't have to do what you want. Y' all trying to make men do things like stop. Let. Let. I always tell my clients this, and I want to tell you this too. Let these men run their own race.

That's not you. Like, he doesn't get to. He doesn't need to go by your speed limit. He doesn't. Your job is just to be an observation.

Yeah. Colleen Thomas. Thank you so much for the rose. Dulce. Thank you so much for the rose.

Aquatica. Aurora said, can you speak in an Irish accent? I'm not going to perform for you, sweetie. Yeah, that's not me. Yeah. By the way, some of y' all are performing on these dates. Honey, don't do it. Just be yourself.

I got some R and B in the background. Some swv. Weak. Who's weak in the knees? Girl for a guy, let me know. Weak.

Cuz we gotta strengthen you up. If that's the case.

Okay. La La Luna said she got a point. Gigi La said, do you teach people how to float? 100, honey. All right, let's. Let's do a little flirting because I feel like the girls don't know how to flirt. So if a guy comes up to you and he said, hi, how you doing? What are you saying? What are you saying? I need to know right now.

Oh, my God. I got a lot of weeks. Weak, weak. Girls.

Someone said hi. Someone said hi.

Hi. I'm good. How are you? Fine. Don't say fine. Patrice, you got a girl now. She said, I'm better now. That's the answer. I'm doing well now. How are you? So you have to add on to that. Don't just answer, give it. Give a question back. Right. I'm doing better now. How are you? Boom. Now we have some momentum. For the girls who said, good, how are you? Or fine or good. Y' all got Cs. For the girls who. Oh, no. C plus, B minus. If you said fine, you got a D. Mean giving. Mean. If you said good, now you got an A. Okay.

Yeah. Gigi said, I'm saying I'm okay, girl. That's F response.

Yeah. Yes, honey. Yes, honey. I'm gonna have to give y' all some grades, girl, because we got to be flirting out here. Yeah.

Okay. Do we want more flirt questions?

Okay, the girl who said, as good as you look. No, don't do that. We don't give. If a guy is approaching you, we don't want to give him a compliment off the bat. It's too much, it's too thirsty, and it means we're pursuing already. Don't do that. Wait till he gives you some. And, like, he needs to give you more compliments, more love, more attention before we give him a little bit something back. We can't go out the gate giving him everything, because then guess what? He's being pursued by us. Guess what? We've already pedestalized him and put him above us. And the. The gag about flirting is that.

You have to be the queen, and you always have to make him feel like he is.

Like, inspire him, but know that your status is actually on the pedestal. Right? He's the knight, you're the queen.

Right? If you're already giving him the compliment from the get go, you're kissing the ring of the king.

Do you hear me?

Yeah, Peasantes. That's right. Someone said, where is Kate Middleton? Girl? She's. She's. She's in this live girl because she's looking for a new man.

Okay.

Ching. Said, I'm so effing awkward on flirting girl. That's why we're talking about it now.

Spitting bricks. Said, a guy pinched my cheeks at a bar and said, cute. So he doesn't like you and he's trying to control you. So when that happens, when a guy touches you inappropriately, be very loud and said, oh, my God, I can't believe you just touched me inappropriately.

So that it's not just you versus him, it's you and everyone else around you in the environment versus him. Because you're going to need people to advocate for you in those situations sometimes. And I just want to honor this, sometimes we can get into, like, a frozen response. Totally get that. But when that happens, get loud. Pretend there's a fire in the building, girl. Yeah, don't let people touch you.

617 said the flirt feels like thirst at times. What, when you're flirting with a guy or when he's flirting with you? Girl, let them be thirsty, girl. You got to give them the Gatorade.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay, so let me see. Let's go. Let's do some more flirting. Yeah.

Yeah. It's when people do that, it's a test of your personal space, and they're testing your boundaries. They want to see how far they can go. Right?

Girl, please understand that if these guys can't be in bounds for kindergarten roles, we can't treat them like men.

Yeah. Ev says flirting off the bat really turns me off. Well, girl, if he can't flirt, girl, he can't show you that he's into you. Y' all need to start getting really comfortable with men flirting with you. Here's the thing, and this is what I told my client before, and I think I want to tell y' all this as well. Flirting doesn't have to be adversarial. Y' all are acting like when a guy flirts with you, you need a shield.

Right? You need something to block it. Let me put this book up here. Y' all are like, shield.

What y' all really need to do, what y' all really need to do, you need to serve like matador, right? Because it's all a game.

Olay. Yeah. Let them run toward you and then give them the olay, girl. Yeah. Not a shield. Not a shield. Girl, you gotta play with it and know that you're in full control. Yes, honey, with the olay, bitch.

No more shields. No more shields. You hear me?

You're in full control. You just need to know it.

All right, Are we olaying now? We're not doing this with men, right? We have to olay them.

How do you play with it, girl? One of the things that I teach my clients in my program is how to be in your main character energy. You know, those moments where you're just on and nobody can touch you. It's a mindset. And you have every time you're around men, you have to know that you are that girl. Okay, let's. Let's keep on going. Let's keep on going. Okay? If a guy goes. If a guy goes.

Oh, my God, you are so beautiful. What are we saying? What's the response back?

What's the response back?

How do we flirt back?

I said someone said thanks. Thanks. Thanks is actually a C response. Thank you is actually a B minus response.

Laughing. Okay, that's a B response.

Someone said, I know that. That's a D plus response.

He's going to be like, oh, this girl's full of herself. He wants to please you, and if he feels like he can't please you.

He'S gonna step away. Angela said, you look nice too. Mm.

So we want. We want to say thank you so much for the compliment. Do you always. Do you always flatter women so much? Right? Build him up. Your job is to inspire him, let him know that he has to continue to work for you. The job of men. The job is to work for you. Right? So anything that he does, you always want to let him know that, like, oh, this is what you do. What more can you do? But in a playful way, right? So do you always do this? That's the question, right? Do you always splatter, you know, women so much, and then he's got to be like, you know, yeah, that's the kind of man that I am. Or I'm just doing me or whatever. We know what. What have you. Yeah.

Someone said, go on. Angela said, you think so? That's cute, girl. That's B plus A minus territory. I appreciate it. Okay. I'm flattered. That's cute. That's cute. Oh, you're. You're sweet. If you tell a guy that, it's. That he's sweet. It's almost like telling him that he's cute.