Dating Q & A 03-20-24

Lord.

It was thick water. Oh, to take these vitamins, girls, keep this energy up. Who else is taking vitamins like a golden girl.

Cuz? That's me. Honey, look how big this is. Hey, y', all, look how big this vitamin is. Who are the girls who could take it without any bread, without any drink? That's not me, honey. I need something to coat it.

I'm not as much of a pro as y' all think I am. No Shade.

I am not the pro girl she used to be. Not anymore. Yeah.

Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. I am a mother.

Of suburban descent now. She doesn't need that anymore. Yeah.

I'm already starting out a fool. A fool. A full, full.

Oh, Lord. Hey, y'. All. Hey.

Hey. I was supposed to come on last night, but, girl, my body was telling me now, and my bed was telling me yes. Yeah. So I had to listen to my body. So y' all listen to y'. All. Y' all bodies don't power through anything. Yes. Yeah. Some of that swallowed. Yeah. All right, y', all. What's the tea? What's. What's tea, y'? All. What's tea? For those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar White. They call me Coach Anwar or Fairy Godbrother. I am a dating coach for women of color. And I'm here to just, you know, Kiki, talk a little bit about dating, love, relationships, men or women, literally, or anything in between.

And. Yeah, so what I want you to do, if you're in here and you want to kick it in here for a while, I definitely want you to put all of your questions in the chat, and I will answer them in the order that I saw that I see them. If I skip your question, it's probably because I either answered it or I don't want to answer it.

Yeah. All right, y', all, I'm taking my rings off, which means I can be a little bit spicy tonight. I'm gonna answer these. These answers like a single messy girl. Now, if I put my rings back on, I'm gonna give you married first lady tea. But if I take them off, girl, you get in.

Gutter butt trollop answers.

Y' all ready? Y' all ready, honey? Y' all ready? All right. Let me see what the girls are talking about already, honey, because I know y' all are already gagging.

Hey, nobody's girl. Hey, unicorn. Hey, no name. Hey, user. Slim Shady. Marissa Rossi said. Oh, Lord, with the T. Hey, Leah. Hey, Desi. Guests. Hey, Max. Ms. Maxwell. Lauren said. Hey, Queen Girl, you don't know me like that.

Homophobic girl. Barbell and Stiletto said, best investment has been signing up for your program. One month in and tons of dates in. Yes, girl. Get it. I love it. And quality dates, y'. All. Yeah. This is about quality, not quantity. Y' all go on four dates a week, girl, but I pretty sure that most of them will not be it. Yeah. Kim Sanders said, much love from Germany. Hello. Meine lieber, Alles klar wie geit vohr komster.

All right, Ms. Lawrence said, I miss you. Miss you too. Hey, Chrissy. Hey, Jordan. Hey, Shanice. Hey, Gigi. Law.

User. Some shady said, girl, you starting early, huh? I start when I want to start because I'm grown, sweetie. Yeah. Jess said, can you please help Winnie Parker, friend.

We'll see. I'm. I am very busy. I'm very busy with my clients and making sure that we're leveling up with them and with my book. And so I have given her advice already in terms of her online profile. So I hope. I wish the best for Winnie. I hope she does well. I'm rooting for her. So that's that on that. I have been tagged in about 18 different posts about this. She can join my program if she wants to. Yeah. I would love to help her out and help her get her guy. Yeah. All right. Just FYI, if you want to learn more about what I do, you can definitely go into the link in my bio, and I have a link to my podcast. I have a link for my free trainings. I have a link for. If you want to book a consultation, call with me, and you want to work with me, you can do that. If there's anything that I say on this live, please tap, double tap, triple tap your screens to, you know, get the likes up, and we'll go from there. IG. What. What are we talking about? Ms. Chrissy said, is it okay for me to want a man who is a provider? When I am a single mother, my child's father takes care of his child, so I am not expecting a man to provide for my child. Yeah, you get to want a provider, but in the same respect, I want you to be able to also provide for yourself. Yeah, I think that the. When women come into this with expectations.

It. It really turns provider men off because they're looking for appreciation, they're looking for admiration. When he takes the bill and you say something like, exactly, that's disgusting. Yeah. And I'm saying you do it. But I know that there are women out there that do that. And that's a turn off. So we just have to be in our femme energy. We have to give admiration and appreciation. That's it. Yeah. Always tell the girls when you're out and you're dating. Don't ever. Don't ever go for the Fake a roo. Don't ever go for the. Oh, let me fake to get my wallet. Girl, that's lame. Don't do that, don't do that, don't do that. Always give them. Thank you so much. Yeah, that's why you always want to get your mani and your petty. So you can show off that. Manny, thank you so much for this. This means a lot to me. I feel very valued and cherished. Yeah. All of this. All of this. Yeah.

So some of y' all need to. I'm glad I'm your fairy godbrother because some of y' all gonna need to work this wrist a little bit more. You see this wrist, girl? Broken. Just broke. Reverse uno broken. That's what y' all need to be given with these men, honey. Y' all sometimes shaking these men like it's an arms deal. Like you're in the U N. Girl, don't do that. Girl, thank you so much. I really appreciate this.

Yeah, you get to have a provider.

Okay. Single dope black chick said, I need advice on dating an introverted man. Okay, tell me more, girl, tell me more.

What's tea on that? Oh, Alexis said, how do I let my guard down? Let down my guard when dating after dealing with a lot of disappointment in the past from men.

By understanding that you will never deeply connect with a man unless you are vulnerable. Right. So there are a lot of.90% of the guys out there are not ready for a relationship. So now that you know that, now that you know that, 90% of the guys that you meet will be a disappointment, what now?

What now? I always say that disappointment is the difference between your expectations and reality. So the way to get over disappointment is actually to not have any expectations. I always tell my clients, like, girl, these guys are not real till they get to a physical third date. So a lot of people and no shade, because I was this girl as well, where like I'd be on a first date with some really pretty light skinned boy and I'd be like, oh my God, we're gonna have an amazing wedding and our babies are going to be so cute, you know, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And girl, their girl, guess what. Three days later.

Puff the Magic Dragon, Casper Ghost. Yeah, we gotta Lower the expectation. These guys, they're like. He gotta pretend like they're AI. They're nothing, they're nobody. Right? Until they are somebody. And if that doesn't help you, I want you to think about this. Like, sometimes we will trick ourselves and think like we know these guys and that they're the one. But I always say, like, if you're talking to a guy, you will only know, like, 3% of a guy every week. So if you're talking to a guy for two weeks, please understand that you only know about, like, 6% of him. Yeah. That will help to ground you because many of us think that. Oh, my God, I know all of him. He's everything. He's my man. No, he's not. You know 6% of him now. What? And you get to love the 6% that you know, but your job is to know the majority of him before we make the. The bigger determination of whether this guy has the boyfriend skills. Yeah.

Glam. Tam Tam Said, I was just listening to dating pitfalls. Good girl. Good. Okay. Kim Sanders said he's been in How Hanover Abimerican. Brooke the German. Okay, girl. Hanover is boring.

Okay, let me see. And thank you all so much for the 11, 000, almost 12, 000 likes already. Y' all really doing the damn thing. Latrice, good to see you, girl. She said, hello, my favorite dating coach ever, ever, ever. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. And be shop Said, hey, and we're so glad I've been catching your lives. I'm glad that you're here as well. Jordan Said, missed you last night. Glad to see you tonight. Yes, I'm feeling much better, honey. I had to, honey. My husband had to rock me like a baby girl. Get me to sleep, honey. User 768 said, you're so cute, girl. Don't call me cute. Okay, here's the thing. One, you're not my man, so don't call me cute. Two, please understand, like, if you call guys cute, you're telling him you're my little brother. Yeah. I think sometimes the girls think, oh, it's a compliment. Guys don't take it as a compliment. They want to be hot. They want to be fine. They want to be handsome. Some of us want to be pretty.

So just FYI, I know that this person didn't mean that, but I'm just trying to share tea when I see it and when I know it. You know.

As many of you know who have been here for a while, I have my trusty Dominican here. Tasty this morning.

Clear water.

Charde said, we love you. Thank you so much, Erica. Thank you so much for the rose. AC said, what's really in that cup? Don't you want to know, girl?

Jasmine said, hey, fairy God brother. Hey, girl. Rossi. Girl said, met you in Vegas.

Really?

Oh, okay. Yes, yes, yes. Okay. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Yes. Awesome. Good to see you, girl. Astro said, I just logged in and I already know what you're talking about. Good.

Shazam. Said, your dating tips are fire. Thank you so much, girl. I appreciate that.

Paulina said, hi. Love your lives. Thank you. Mario said, I love you. Thank you. Mo. Said the goat. Thank you. Ms. Light said, oh, no, I'm white. Oops. Oops. You did it again. Lily said, love you. Thank you, girl. Sharon said, hello, sir Amar. Hello. Monique said, I love your videos. I'm so happy I caught your life. I'm so happy that you all are here as well. This is amazing. Fit W Quell said, the way I turn on all my notifications for lives. Yay. Chandra said, dating with disabilities and DMV advice. What is the disability? If you don't mind sharing, that will be able. That will help me to understand a little bit more about how to help you navigate that. Ms. Know It all said, oh, you're so cute. Again, the cute. Y' all need to stop. Hairborne said, I love your D luggage post. Honey, we need to know what these men are packing.

And I think a lot of y'. All, A lot of the people on here, they treat y' all like nuns. And I know y' all are not nuns. Y' all are not Sister Act. Y' all are the Dolores Van Cartiers of the world. No shade. Yeah. In honesty, the reason why I talk about D so much and dating and love is because love equals like plus lust. Right? There has to be a. Like, there has to be emotional safety. There has to be lust. There has to be an intensity. Right? There has to be some sort of intimate connection here. If you don't have that, you're going to be with a roommate, not with a partner. Yeah. So I want to make sure that.

That is important.

Yeah.

Good. The girls are saying they're going to go book a nail appointment. Yes, girl, do it.

Bisoi said, how do you get rid of.

Guilt dating multiple men at once? By realizing that these guys are doing it.

That men have been doing it for centuries, and that you get to do it, too. And that this is about you taking on the role of the chooser instead of waiting to be chosen that ultimately your success is predicated on the fact that you have to find the best person for you. Yeah. Would you only go to.

Would you only apply to one job and that's it if you were looking for a new job? Or would you apply to many and see what the best offer is with, you know, the best salary and the best benefits and time off and all of that and the best manager and team? That's what we're doing here. Yeah. The reason why you feel guilty is because when you're dating someone casually, in your mind, you're already thinking that you're with them and you're not. So you're going to have to separate casual dating from being in an exclusive, committed relationship. And it's not your fault because this is kind of conditioned and programmed since Disney days. Yeah.

You don't. Most of the movies that you see in Disney, they never get married really, but in your mind they're together. So you equate happily ever after with just being with someone. Let me know if that makes sense. So this is why, this is how it, like starts. When you think, oh, I'm with someone, that means I'm just going to be happily ever after with them. No, no, no.

Okay, let me see what's going on here. The doctor at business said, do you assist women that date women? Yes, I assist all women. Yeah. One of my clients that I had, she actually just had a baby with her partner.

So I, I. Trans women, lesbian women, black women, Asian women, even some white women.

Yeah.

Erica said, what's your take on the 90 day role? I think that.

It'S very important that you understand that every.

Connection, partnership is different and you can't put a timestamp on each and every partnership. I do think though, it like naturally aligns with how men think about dating. I always tell my clients, like, he's really not even thinking about being in an exclusive relationship with you until like post date six. Yeah. So that's something for you all to think about as well. So, you know, if you're having a date once a week, that's at the 1 1/2 month mark, but he's not going to deeply connect with you until two to three months.

Kate said, you're so pretty. Thank you.

Thank you.

Kelly said, why do guys treat women so poorly? That's a really great question. I think it is because.

It'S a, it's a complicated question and answer because it's multifaceted. I think it's because guys are never, a lot of guys are never taught how to treat women right, that ultimately like the way that men and women are socialized is actually boys play with boys and girls play with girls. And so what will happen is that a lot of guys don't have the skill set to really treat women the way that they want to or need to be treated so that they can thrive. A lot of men are treating women like boys, right outside of this sexual part. And that's.

Goes like this, it doesn't align. Right?

So I think it's important to understand that that's one part. The other part is that a lot of men don't like their mothers. And so they attribute or they will, you know, when they interact with women, it will trigger them with their mother wounds. And a lot of them have it, especially if you are, if you're a black man. That happens quite a bit. So.

A Tuesday in April said any advice for a Christian woman in her 30s dating at NYC girl, isn't Easter coming up soon? Girl, you better work Easter girl.

I think that.

One of the things that I hear a lot from Christian women is like, I go to church and I'm the good girl and nothing happens. I'm just this nice girl and this good girl. And I've been praying for a man all day, every day, and he hasn't come yet. And.

To that I say, I think it's going to be important for you to explore all parts of yourself. A lot of the nice girls, the Christian girls.

I'm gonna say this with love. There are some people that like my realness. There are some people that don't. Nice girls are boring and men will get very tired of them very easily and very quickly. And I think it's important to be kind. But, you know, nice is boring. And so a lot of Christian women are nice.

And what do I mean by that? Nice is I'm just going to do whatever you want. And kind has more boundaries involved, right? Which is do what you want. But here's how I want to be treated, right? And I'm going to set boundaries every step of the way. And unfortunately, many Christian women have not been taught how to set proper boundaries as it pertains to this and other parts of your life. This is my experience. And you know, working with thousands of women over the past 14 years, including Christian women, and so boundaries is going to be a very important part of the work. Okay?

Brown sugar said, hi, friend. Hey girl, it's me. Troya said, amwar, why do you guys keep calling me adorable under my pics? They'll call you adorable because they think that you are like small and scrumptious and can be controlled, right? Who else do we call adorable children? So it might be because of your stature. It might be because of if you have a baby doll look face, doe eyes, you're gonna be giving them doll. You're gonna be giving them adorable, right? So it will attract the guys that kind of want to control you a little bit more. So I would be like when someone calls you adorable and you're a grown ass woman. I don't think he likes you. I just think he wants your. He wants your attention and he's trying to.

Reel you in. Okay.

Let me just charge this phone, honey.

We can see your fingers. Oh, you're a perv. Er line.

Okay, let me see what's going on here.

K2 says, what should I ask my crush when I run into him? Combo starters.

I don't want you to have a script for when you are talking to someone that you like and actually it's really his job to pursue you. And so, you know, obviously a simple hi, a smile, but let him lead all of that. What you don't want to be is you don't want to be chasing men. Guys will know when you're chasing them. They'll smell it on you, right? You know when you pass Bath and Body Works and like that scent. Be a simple hi, a smile, but let him lead all of that. What you don't want to be is you don't want to be chasing men.

Guys will know when you're chasing them. They'll smell it on you, right? You know when you pass Bath and Body Works and like that scent, like hits you real quick when you start, you know, going up to them and having like scripted lines and they smell it and they'll put you in the desperate girl category and they won't take you seriously. Instead, you don't want to have any sort of conversation starters, like, hits you real quick when you start. You know, if you see them, great, say hi, keep it cute, keep it moving, right? How you doing? Blah, blah, blah. But in reality, you kind of want to be just over. Like, you don't want to make a big deal out of it. Yeah, you want to connect and have fun. But going up to them and having like scripted lines and they smell it and they'll put you in the desperate girl category and they won't take you seriously. Instead, you don't want to have any sort of conversation starters. But oftentimes, and I'm. When I'M speaking to you. I'm speaking to me. Oftentimes when you like somebody, you will give, like, puppy dog eyes and you'll just be infatuated with anything and everything that they say. That's why you kind of want to keep a.

Like a time period for when you all are talking. Right. So.

You'Ll have to give me more instances about, like, if you see them. Great. Say hi. Keep it cute, Keep it moving. How you run into your crush. Is this someone at work? Is this someone, like, in a friend group? And I can give you more, more, more tips around it.

Shy QT said, Vegas flashbacks? No, girl. I travel all the time. So I'm, like, trying to figure out, like, oh, who was that? Because it's interesting. Like, you know, I do these videos in the comfort of my home in Canada. And.

Then when I, like, go to, like, random cities, there are like, a lot of people that, like, come up to me and say hi, and it's like, it's, it's a very, very interesting experience. I love it. It's great. And it, you know, I love that the videos help so many women out there, but I'm regular degular.

So. Yeah. Mari said, where are you based? I'm in Montreal, Canada. Shantae said, love you, fairy God, brother. It's my birthday today. Happy birthday, Shantae.

What are, what advice for the younger generation?

Good question. Stay in school. Don't do drugs.

I don't, I don't think a boy's, like, serious. Like, if you want an uneducated man, they're ready to be in a relationship at the age of 26. If you want an educated man, and that's the majority of my clients, they're not going to be really relationship ready until they go through their second puberty liberty, which is between the ages of 30 and 33. Roughly around 32. Right. So, like, I don't really want you to take any of this seriously until y' all are in your 30s, 28. Everything else is, like, the same level of seriousness that you give to these first couple of jobs that you're gonna hop, hop in between. That's how I want you to be thinking about these men.

They're another company. Yeah. Pretty. Chopstick said, omg, I just love you. I need all the advice. Awesome. Glad that you're here.

Lonnie said, first date ideas. It's not your idea. It's not your job to come up with the ideas. That's his job, really. But, you know, I always think something real light Something real low key. I'm not someone that's for the dinners. It just really does.

A lot of women will feel very like pressure to put out or like you don't. You don't know that person. So like being stuck there is like, can feel very uncomfortable. And so I always say like screener dates, coffee drinks. If you want to do a male like a lunch. Right? Fun, fun. Said get out and about, walk, take a hike. Some of these white men will try to take you out on a hike for your first date. Don't do it. We don't know these white men like that girl.

Yeah, maybe on a third date.

Latonya, thank you so much for the two finger hearts.

Shauna said. What are the best states to date in or where? Internationally. So I'll start internationally.

I think that North America, Montreal for women of color. I would say.

New York based on quantity is probably a good place to be.

DMV area, not DC proper. DC proper is basically as tough as Atlanta, but like the suburbs of D.C. great. Say.

New York based on quantity is probably a good place to be.

DMV area, not DC proper. DC proper is basically as tough as Atlanta, but like the suburbs of D.C. great.

Panama.

Colombia, Merida, Mexico.

If I'm in Africa, probably Ghana.

Europe. So like southern Europe, like Greece, Italy.

Panama.

Colombia, Merida, Mexico.

If I'm in Africa, probably Ghana.

Europe. So like southern Europe, like Greece, Italy, Turkey.

And then for northern Europe, I would say Ireland, Scotland, Netherlands, Germany, Middle East, I would say Doha, Qatar and Dubai.

Turkey.

And then for northern Europe, I would say Ireland, Scotland, Netherlands, Germany, Middle East, I would say Doha, Qatar, Egypt.

For northern Africa and Dubai.

Yeah, those are my places.

Mimi said. What apps are hitting right now? Bumble has been trash for me. Honey, the best app that you can Egypt.

For northern Africa.

Yeah, those are my places. And beyond in 2024 is this app called Outside.

This is where you go outside and you touch grass and you touch men.

So. So that's what I think that you should do. Yeah.

Mimi said. What apps are hitting right now? Bumble has been trash for me. Honey. The best app that you can be on in 2024 is this app called Outside.

This is where you go outside and you touch grass and you touch men. Oh, my gosh.

God. And your country need another podcast episode. Girl, I was supposed to put one today, but girl, I was. I was.

So that's what I think that you should do. Yeah, been out of it. I'll probably do one tomorrow. Okay, I'll post it tomorrow.

Just FYI.

Oh, my gosh.

God and your country need another podcast episode. Girl, I was supposed to put one today, but, girl, I was. I was. If you are interested in learning more about what I do, definitely click the link in my bio. If you want to work with me, book a call. Will figure it out for you. All of that. Vanessa said, my favorite Internet guru girl. Not a guru girl. Been out of it. I'll probably do one tomorrow. Okay, I'll post it tomorrow. Girl, I. One of my friends Googled me and they said, Internet personality.

Just FYI, if you are interested in learning more about what I do, definitely click the link in my bio. If you want to work with me, book a call. We'll figure it out for you. All of that, and I almost. I gagged. I was like, girl, not Internet personality. I'm a dating coach.

I'm not here for this. Vanessa said, my favorite Internet guru girl, not a guru girl. Girl. One of my friends Googled me and they said, Internet personality. And I almost. I gagged. I was like, girl, not Internet personality. I'm a dating coach.

I'm not here for the shits and giggles. I'm here for y' all to get your guys.

I was gagged by that. Okay, chits and giggles. I'm here for y' all to get your guys.

See Latonya. Thank you so much for the finger heart.

Dip said, love your content. Vic Mo said, guys don't ask me questions on dates. Then you probably shouldn't. You probably shouldn't have dates with them. You should probably have a phone call before you have a physical date with them to see if they can ask questions.

Gigi lasted. I love how your content is biased for us. Always that girl. I am the ll Cool Day of dating.

Oh, I see there's a lot of girls that are not the nun. They are not the Sister Mary Clarence. They are the Dolores Van Cartiers of the world.

Yes.

Sharon said, no shade. Ladies, He's a handsome married man. Personally, I don't like to be called cute. Keep that. Right.

Marwa said, how do you get over a guy? No shade, but you kind of do have to get under a new one. Does that mean that you're giving all the choncha up? No, but healing is about experiencing new, like, new experiences and new people. Right. So hobbies, passions.

Having a small goal that you can accomplish is helpful.

One of the things that happens is you break up with someone and then you have these, like, voids in your life where you used to spend time with him. You're gonna have to bring your tribe in to spend to fill those voids. If you always watch love is blind with the guy that you have broken up with, you're going to have to find someone else to do that with. This is how you get over a guy quickly. And obviously no contact. Don't talk with them, block them on everything, including social.

Sir. Kat said, how long has he been on live? What time is it? Maybe 40, 30, 40 minutes, something like that. Candice said, can you help Winnie, please? I've given her some help already.

Jaleesa said, I don't want to date at all. I just like watching Anwar. Well, thank you. You know, dating is very difficult out there. I want to be honest with all of you. Right. That, that ultimately I think it's the hardest that it's ever been. So if you are having challenges, please, please understand you are not alone. And it's going to get harder. You know, the research has come out where there is a divide in terms of values that's happening between men and women. And so, you know, men are becoming more conservative, women are becoming more liberal. That is a value based difference. So it's going to get harder. And that's not me trying to like put fear into you. I think it's just important to understand, like the reality of the situation.

Neurological disorder that makes me need a cane to assist me. Girl. Work that cane, girl. It should be prominent in at least half of your pictures so people know what the T is. Yeah. That. That is something that you use that is part of your everyday life. Right. It is your third leg. They got a third leg too. Y' all should probably compare y' all's third leg leg leg squirrel.

You have to.

Kind of allow people to see how you feel about it and they will take your lead.

So I want to make sure that you are feeling 100% awesome about it. That's your work before you start dating. Or you can do it while you're dating.

Yeah.

Kate said there's a wedding in Cinderella. Okay.

Thank you.

Mina said in Anwar. I trust. I know that's right. Sexy. Lexi said, how can you tell if a guy is DL?

Y' all did it like the third leg comparison.

Honey, Y'. All. Honey prudes. Honey prudes. Okay. Someone was asking about how can I. Nan, thank you so much for the two roses. Mario said you have a podcast. Yes, it's called the get your guy coaching podcast. DL guys.

I always know if a guy is DL based on how he reacts to gay men. So if a gay Guy is walking into a room. If a man's feet are pointed toward the gay guy, it means that he has interest in him, right? So that always, like when I walked in a room, I knew who. Who I could get and who I could not based on that. And, you know, some of us use that to our advantage. Some of us did not. I did.

And so that's one way. The other way, I think.

Some other, some fun ways. I always say, look at their hands.

So, like, if this index finger is shorter than the ring finger.

He'S probably gay. Most guys have these two fingers are aligned. See how the huge difference between this finger and this finger for me, it's because I'm super gay, as you can tell. So that's one. If you're in a jacuzzi and the guy has the jet on his butt, he's probably gay.

If you ask him to check his fingernails and he does this instead of this, he's probably gay. Okay.

Madeline said, they're not approaching us outside. What to do? Start those conversations, girl. Don't act cute and mute. Sin Phil City said, where to go outside, I'd be at the Dollar Tree, Five Below and Target. Girl, don't go to those places, girl.

Go to those places to get your stuff done. But don't go to those places to meet men, honey. Because guess what?

The same guys that you meet at a Dollar Tree girl.

Will be not taking you to places that you want to go for dates.

Yeah, they meet you at Target, girl.

They're a bull. And you're the target if you're beating them at five Below. Girl.

No, I'm not even going to continue, girl. It's a mess.

Is it on Spotify? Yes, it is, girl. My podcast should be on Spotify and Apple.

And all that. Nafisa said, what's your experience with helping Muslim women find love? The pool is small out here. Yes, girl.

The places like Muzz Match. I think I have about five Muslim women that I'm helping right now. Yeah.

Lawrence said, and why I don't go out only if I have to. This is the gag, girl. This is why I'm telling y' all to go out. Because most of the girls are not out. Most of the girl.

No, I'm not even going to continue, girl. It's a mess.

Breath said, is it on Spotify? Yes, it is, girl. My podcast should be on Spotify and Apple.

And all that. Nafisa said, what's your experience with helping Muslim women find love? The pool is girls are watching Netflix or HBO Max at home and working from home, living from home and dating from home and they're not out, which means that there's going to be a lot of guys out and about and not as many women. Get your guys now, girl, before it warms up small out here. Yes, girl, this place is like muzz match. I think I have about five Muslim women that I'm helping right now.

Lauren said, and why I don't go out only if I have to. This is the gag, girl. This is why I'm telling y' all to go out, because most of the girls are not out. Most of the girls are watching Netflix or HBO Max at home and working from home, living from home and dating from home, and they're not out, which means that there's going to be a lot of guys out and about and not as many women. Get your guys now, girl, before it warms up.

Jennifer said, is being with someone seven years too long with no engagement or marriage? Girl, if you are with him for more than two years, that's too long. You need to be engaged your marriage. This is about a man who is decisive and knows what he wants. Also a man that is in a position to protect and to provide for you. If he's with you for seven years and he hasn't married you, he's not protecting you and he's not providing you with safety and security and commitment that is necessary. Yeah, I want to offer that to you.

Latrena said, not me. Looking for an app called Outside.

Girl. Don't do it, girl.

Gigi Law said, Internet personality is crazy. I know. Isn't it though? I was gagged.

Empress said, I was shocked with Winnie. But then I'm like, wait, we can pay Anwar. That's funny.

Jennifer said, it's being with someone seven years too. Ms. Lulu B said, Anwar said, let's not get caught up in this, girl. I'm busy. She's booked and busy. Salon Nina said, Bon, he said, we have a strong connection after two months of dating. What does that mean? That means that he's feeling you, but he still has a few things to consider before getting, like, committed to you. So I oftentimes when a guy says that, it means that he still doesn't feel emotionally connected with you. So you probably need to be a bit more vulnerable and have some deeper conversations.

10:17 said, hello. What wise when you always spit facts? Thank you, girl. Hm said, your personality is amazing. Thank you.

Blank said, your results are why it's happening. I guess so.

Brown Sugar said, your thoughts on childless women dating men with children. I'm like, like, I don't really care if it's like with a child or not. Like, if you're 35, like 50, like 40 year old plus men are gonna have kids. So if you're like, I don't want a guy with kids, then you cutting out 50% of the pool right there. I'm more concerned about whether he's an amazing dad or not. A lot of women, especially women of color, hate or feel really uncomfortable with men with kids because often what happens is that it triggers them. Many of us grow up in households where our parents are very busy and don't actually give us a lot of the nurturing and attention that we need. And when a guy that you're dating is hyper focused on his child, it will bring up all of that shit. And so a lot of women, a lot of women of color don't lean into that because it really does trigger some of those inner childs when. And wounds, when in reality your job is actually just to heal those wounds. He should be very committed to being a father. Right. We have to observe whether he has the time management skills to be able to also allocate the time, space, and energy to court you. And there are men that are able to do that.

Brenda said, I'm a big girl who likes fit. Get it? I go to the gym, but I don't know how to let them. Let them what?

I Girl, talk to these men, Ask for help. Girl, you shouldn't be putting any of your own weight on these things. Girl. Some of the girls are like all up in the cardio doing the aerobics classes. No, girl, lift those weights, girl, and ask men to put them on for you. Hey, can you help me put this, this, this 20 weight on here, please?

Yes.

That, that helps. That helps. I will say that.

Bas Denise said three weeks in between dates is too long. Yes, it is. I'm looking for a date. A week.

Yeah.

You know how you have like a touch base with your team every week at work? That's how it has to be with your dating.

Yeah.

Tanya Rose, thank you so much for the rose.

Pumpkin said. What's the key to attracting the right guys on an app? I hate the apps. I don't think anyone likes the apps, but they are part of the dating realm.

I think that your question is flawed and I don't mean that in a right way. What I do mean is you don't attract the right guys on the app. You actually sift through them and you find the right guys, you're attracting everyone on the app. It is your job to choose them, but that requires you to test and evaluate them in a way that is going to correlate with the successful relationship outcome. Most people are looking at their pictures and making a determination about whether this person can be my husband or not. We swipe, we online date, right? We're on the apps to date.

The biggest mistake is that a lot of women are on the apps to get married and so they swipe for marriage instead of swipe for dating. Why do I say that? I say that because a profile doesn't represent a person, just like your profile probably doesn't fully represent you. And you're taking five seconds and realizing, thinking, he's not for me. When in reality, if you met a guy in real life, half of the people that you swipe left on you would actually talk to. That's why a lot of people are meeting their people in real life, because they're giving people more of a chance to do so. So if you want the apps to work for you, you're gonna have to talk with more, taking five seconds and realizing, thinking, he's not for me. When in reality, if you met a guy in real life, half of the people that you swipe left on you would actually talk to. That's why a lot of people are meeting their people in real life, because they're giving people more of a chance to do so. So if you want the apps to work for you, you're gonna have to talk with more people. The average response rate or right swipe rate is like 5% for women and like 60% for men. So men are actually more open minded on these apps than women are. They have to be because they're rejected 90% of the time.