Dating Q & A 03-26-24

Hello, hello, hello.

Hello, hello, hello, everyone.

I hope everyone's doing well tonight. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Good to see you. What's tea, girls? What's the tea?

What are we doing tonight, honey? Where are we going?

Is this a slumber party?

Who's bringing the drinks? That's what I want to know.

Who's bringing the drinks to our slumber party, girl? Someone said it's late, Anwar. Yeah, girl, I was. I just had a session with my clients and it was intense and we had some follow up. Yeah. So who's here for this slumber party, girl? Who's here for this Tuesday tea slumber party? I know it's a little bit late, y', all, but guess what? We're here to slumber it up. We're here to talk all night talk about boys. I mean, really.

Roy. Beatrice said, I wish I could send you screenshots of bad experiences from men. That's what my clients do, girl. So you got to become. Become one of my clients.

Yes. Now, for those of you that don't know me, my name is Coach Anwar. I'm a dating coach for black and brown women. And I am here to answer any and all of your questions as they relate to dating, love, relationships, and men or women. We are inclusive here, honey. Yeah, I know a lot of the lesbians coming to me talking about. Do you coach on wlw? I said woolowa. What? Yes, girl. Girl, it's for all the women, honey. I don't care. I don't care what you're eating. I don't care what you're doing, girl.

So with that said, please put your questions in the chat and I will answer them in the order that I see them. Yeah. Please be patient because I'm gonna be dealing with a lot of different people. Yeah. And try to answer all that I can, honey. But in due time. Yeah, okay. Let me see what the girl's talking about, honey. Hello, Latrice. Good to see you, girl. Queen said, I absolutely love you. Thank you, girl. 88 days said, where were you on Sunday, girls? Tired as tired. So I had a rest. By the way, ladies, listen to your bodies, especially if you're a person of color, like you are taught not to listen to your body. And that's why our nervous systems are all jacked up. I'm like doing this intense study about nervous system healing, which is so important for black and brown women. And so it's something that I'm going to incorporate in my program to help my clients learn how to manage their nervous systems while they're dating. So one of the things that I'm learning, and I just want to share that with you all as well. So, like, if your body's telling you you got to go to bed, you got to go to bed. If your body's telling you you got to use the bathroom, don't hold it. If your body's telling you that you're hungry, please eat. Like, you have to start listening to your body, because what's happening is that you're using your head and you're literally gaslighting yourself in so many different situations, like, in life. And then you're bringing that to your dating life. And, girl, who needs a motherfucking narcissist when you're your own narcissist? Girl, no shade. So I listened to my body on Sunday, and my body said I needed to rest. My body told me I was overwhelmed. Yeah, my body. My body was shutting down, so I had to take care of it. And I just want to, you know, transfer that. That. And relay that message to you all as well. Because when I learn it, I'm giving it to y', all, honey.

Yeah. And that's on.

Mary had a Little Lamb. And that's on Anwar had to sit his behind down. Yeah. YETI said, how are you doing? I'm doing well. I'm doing well. Hello. D period. Lmao. Queen said, it's late, Anwar. Girl, grow up. Girl. Is it past your bedtime? Are you a golden girl? Get up. This is slumber party, girl. Yeah. Hey, Sekhmet. Hey, Ginger. She said, I love you. Love you, too, girl. One, two, two. Sit in the house. Have work at 5am Good girl. Don't sleep. We just gonna talk about these. Talk about these. You know, love dating all night long. Bria, thank you so much for the rose. Queen said, hey, amore. I'd love to know how to prioritize dating and finding a partner without censoring men. Great question. So it's interesting, a lot of dating actually has to do with not dating. It's like the things that you do while you're not dating are the things that you need to focus on. Because if you can do, like, if you can highlight your areas of opportunity, like in other relationships and practice on that, you'll be able to come to your dating life and come correct, right? So, for example, if you can't set boundaries with your parents, you're going to have to learn how to do that. Because if you can't set boundaries with your parents, you're not Going to be able to set them with men, girl. Yeah. So center how you show up in relationships, not men because girl, there's millions of them, girl. Who cares about them? No shade. Yeah. Creative. Kels, thank you so much for the heart me.

Tracy said, what's going on with the women getting hit in nyc? Girl, I don't know. I can't trust anything right now. Like everything that's on tv, girl. Diddy stuff. The the bridge. It just feels like the world going crazy, girl. So you know social media and influencers are crazy and so you never know if it's fake or it's not. I will wait to see what's happening here. But.

It'S interesting. I don't know what's going on. I don't know if this is just a crazy person or is this like a. I'm kind of want to make a splash on tick tock because sometimes that happens. So I'm. I'm in wait and see. But if it is true, I'm sorry. Sorry to those girls.

Eclectic. Hey girl. Hey. Period. Lmao. Queen said gwas night. I know that's right, girl. Bria, thank you so much for the finger heart and the Gigi.

Loves to read said I'm here very God, brother. Thank you. Okay, roll call. Roll call, ladies. Who's here? Who's not here? So if you're a black girl, I want to. I want to hear you. Black girl realness. Black girl magic. Let me know in the chat. Are you here for the black girls? There's a roll call. Yes. Let me see what the. What the girls are talking about. Here. I'm here. Here. Hey, hey. Here. Present. Present. Black girl. Here. Yes. Here. Magic all day. Present. Hey, hey, hey. Yes, honey, we're here. Someone said ec. All right. French black bitch work. Yes. Hashtag black girl magic in the house. Yes, honey. Someone spelled magic. M A, J, I, C. That's real magic, girl. That's voodoo hoodoo. Yes, ma'. Am. Love it, honey. Yes. Black girls. Yes. I feel you. I feel you in here. Yes.

Yes. Black girls. And black women. And black women. And black women. Let me see what the girls. Yes, honey. Yes. Black girls. Someone had some fire emojis. I know that's right, bitch. And I mean that in the most respectful way. Yes. Okay. Thank you, black girls. Now for my mixed girls. Let me know if you're here too. Mixed girls, are we here? Biracial girls, are we here? I want to. I want to know what the biracial girls are giving too. Yes. Yes. My mom says, don't say mixed. That's breeding. That's what we say for dogs. Biracial girls, are we here? Yes, honey. One time someone asked my children, are y' all mixed? And my mom cussed them, out, out. Biracial girls, are we here? What's tea? What's tea? Yes. Biracial girls. Girl, you here, you there, you everywhere. Right, honey? We checking both boxes. I know that's right, girl. Multiple boxes, honey. Yes, ma'. Am.

Someone said present. Present. Someone said tracial. Now you doing too much, girl. You're doing too much. Nazira said, your mom is so real. She don't play, girl. She don't play. All right, girl. Are the brown girls here? Where are the brown girls? Yes. Latinas. Mirenas, Hermanas. Dime.

Are you here? Aki? Yes. Deanna said, brownie. Yes, honey. I see the Colombian flag three times, honey. Yes. Puerto Rican. Yes. Latinas. Aqui. Si, aqui. Aki bidi bidi bom bom. Somebody said.

Mexicanas give me life. Puerto Ricanias give me life. Yes, honey. Yes.

Someone said, not me in every category. Well, girl, you better come. Correct. You better come. I want to see you each and every time I say something, girl.

Yeah. Not Beatty. Bitty bon bon, girl.

Yes. Belize. I see you.

All right, honey. I want to know my native girls. Any of my native girls in here? Yeah. Where? My native. My. My. My native sisters. My spiritual sisters?

Yes.

Oh, by the way, if y' all don't know, we're all native.

Yes, honey. Yes. Yes. Denise girl. Yes. Jan girl.

Yes. Ms. Ray. Honey. Yes.

AJ said. Hey, fairy God brother. Hey, girl. I'm doing roll call right now. I'll talk to you later, girl. Talk to you later. All right, girl. Yes. Courtney Chantel. Yes.

Yes, honey. Okay, for my Asian sisters. Do we have any Asian sisters here? Where are my Asian girls at?

Where are my Asian girls at?

Besito said. What about Arab girls? Girl? We're getting to you, girl. Patience, girl. We going around the world tonight. I'm doing roll call up in here. Yes. My Asian sisters. What's tea?

What's t. My East Asian sisters, are we here? Okay. None y' all here. F you. Okay. My. My Middle Eastern and Arab sisters, are we here?

Okay, Someone said they're black native and Asian. Okay, girl. Okay. Someone said Japanese native. Okay, girl. Okay, girl. Philippines. Okay, girl. Finally. Y' all coming, honey. Finally. Cuz y' all relate with it, girl. Okay. MK Said South Asian and Middle Eastern here. Yes. Inco said Arab. Yes, honey. Yes.

Someone said Greek, girl. Go somewhere. Go somewhere, girl. Danny said Japanese. Chinese. I know, that's right. Konichiwa, nihama.

Yes. Jojo said Korean.

Yes, ma'. Am. Honey, you don't know. I'm your fairy godbrother, which means that I can flirt in 13 different languages. Honey, I don't care where they are, honey. Imma get them. I'm a snatch them up. Do you know what I'm saying?

Yes, ma'. Am. Multilingual.

If you know what I mean. Honey.

Yes, honey. Uh oh, somebody put something in Arabic. Girl, I think they called. I think they gave me a racial slur. I don't know.

Oh, gosh. Okay.

My African sisters, where are you? MK Said, they're saying your name. Sure, girl, that's what they say. I'm gonna put a tattoo on it and then they're gonna play my ass. Where my African sisters at, girl? Beautiful said, oh, this is Anwar in Arabic. Thank you, girl. Thank you, girl. Where are my African sisters? I need countries, okay. Eritrea. Okay? Yes, girl.

People are just saying African, girl. I need countries, girl. There's a whole ass. Whole ass continent. Someone said. What's the topic tonight, girl? She's over my roll call, girl. The topic tonight is y' all a Davis Fate said, I'm here to learn. Girl, you're going to have to wait till roll call's over. Okay? Just like in class. Honey. Somalia. Yes, ma'. Am. Nigeria. Watch out, girl, Watch out. Someone said mermaids. I know. That's right. Little Mermaid, honey.

All right, honey.

All right, honey.

M.J. say I want you in our ass up. No, I'm not. Okay. And then finally, girl, with the white girls, girl. Where the white girls? Where are the white girls? Where are the white girls?

White girls. Where are you, girl? Where are your white girls? Okay. Yes, girl. Yes, girl.

All right. Yes, white girls.

Someone said here.

Someone said, I'm white tonight. I know that's right, girl. I'm white almost every day, girl, on the phone. I am.

On the phone. I am.

Honey. White girls are cool. I know, girl. Some of my best friends are white.

Yes. Yes, honey. Code switching.

Yolanda said, love you white girls. If the white girls don't know that I love them, girl, then I think you're in the wrong place. Because I love all women, girl. I love them all, honey.

Yeah.

Yeah. If you don't know that, I. If y'. All, I'm playing y' all hard, cuz you family. If you in this room, you family. Which means that you're gonna get played. I'm gonna play Everybody. I don't care if you white, black, Puerto Rican or Haitian, girl, you getting played tonight. Yeah.

Ms. Cosmos said, you sure you not straight? Sometimes, girl, y' all be serving in these profile pictures. Y' all make me want to switch. Switch hit, honey, switch it. Before I was switching my hips when I was walking. Now I'm switching hitting, girl, trying to get with y'. All. Yeah. To Torian said, come in and sit down somewhere. Thanks, Mom. I really needed that.

Jess said, well, don't know if you called us, but dark skin here, girl, I called black first. You might. You might have been late.

Yeah, you might have been late to it, honey.

Omg. I hope I came in on time, girl. No, you late to class. Detention. Detention.

Yeah. All right, honey. I.

Most y' all are present. Some of y' all are enthusiastic, unenthusiastic. Some of you are late.

But everyone's welcome. Thank you for being here. So happy that you're here. Now that we have that out of the way, how can I help you? What questions around dating, love, relationships do you have? Yeah.

President said. I'm sorry, teacher. It's okay, girl. This teacher's not taking any excuses. Girl, I'm kidding.

Someone said, are we supposed to like men's profiles on dating sites or let them like us? Both girls. The wild, wild west.

Someone said, I'm a nurse. How do I find a man? Girl, in. In the emergency room, girl, right when they wake up, that's when you need to snatch them up. They might be coming out of a coma, girl. That's when you let them know, oh, I'm your wife.

No, the T is nurses. Your. This is the thing. I'm not going to tell you how to find a man. That's not the focus. I don't care. We don't care about men. We care about ourselves. And what we need to figure out is how can I level up as myself, okay? And what I know about nurses is that what happens is because in your everyday life, you are literally centering other people. That is your job, that you will start to center your partners, right? In relationships, romantic or otherwise. And so your job is to learn how to take up space and center yourself. Because when you do that, you're gonna find. You're gonna find the right man. The man's gonna find you. You don't have to find a man. See how you always try to find a man. You're doing too much already. You gotta focus on yourself. Center yourself, take up space.

And they will come to you. You know those girls that are like always like, they're just really selfish. They're really self centered. They're really focused on themselves. They're just doing them. And they just expect a lot of that, everybody to do everything for them.

No shade. They always have a man.

And everybody's like, oh, my God, I don't understand why she has a man. She's such a bitch. No, she has really clear boundaries. She communicates them and she attracts men that want to please and satisfy her. When I say stress a man out, that's what I'm talking about.

That will actually be attractive to the right man because he wants to please you. And men like challenges. When they overcome a challenge, they are literally like their testosterone is going to grow. And your job is just like, no shade, girl. Fuck these dudes. Your job is to just raise their testosterone, right? If you raise a man's testosterone, he's gonna fall in love with you.

That's the tea that no one's really talking about, Right? So what raises testosterone? When he does something for you. When he solves a problem. When he pleases you. When you show gratitude. If you are nagging or complaining or Criticizing a man. Minus two points, minus five points. You always want to be plus five plus 10 points. And any guy that you're talking to that you like. Yeah. In terms of his testosterone. Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much for calling me. I feel so valued and cherished. Thank you so much for planning this date. This was amazing. You really know how to make a girl feel really special.

Testosterone plus two points.

Y' all hear me here? Y' all hear me? I'm giving you t, girl. A lot of y' all are not raising the man's testosterone. Why do I know? I know, I know. Some of y' all are like, why do I gotta do that for a guy? What's that? Tea for the church girls and also the sinners. When you give in, when you give a little bit of that, you're gonna get tenfold back. Now this is a. This, this. That's. That's black talk. Yeah. Give and it shall be given unto you. Pressed down, shaken together.

The girls who know, know. Yeah, Tenfold. It comes back to you tenfold. That's why you do it. But you have to initiate it.

Do you hear me?

Yes. Run. Running over Runeth. Over. Honey. Yes, ma'. Am. Someone said I'm preaching tonight. I'm trying, girl. I'm trying to give you all some tea. Yeah.

So many of us are. You initiate, you help to raise his testosterone. By your. You initiate that by showing appreciation and gratitude and acknowledgment.

And they will do that lovingly.

Right. Many of us have seen our mothers grandmothers get, like, resentful and, like, not want to, like, you know, complaining and nagging all of the time. Girl. Testosterone d downer. You know what I mean? He's not going to want to do anything, and you're going to create disconnection in the relationship.

Yeah. So I wanted to share that with you all because I know y'. All. Some of us, like, want to complain or we want to come with a level of expectation. Right?

No, don't do that, girl. Yeah. Think of it as a game. Let's raise his testosterone as much as possible.

Yeah. I used to gag when my mom would do that. I'd be like, she's so weak. Right? Ugh, She's. Why is she doing that? Why is she gassing him up? So. Because she knew something that I didn't know, which is you do this and you get whatever you want because it comes back to you tenfold. Okay. So I wanted to share that with you all because I think maybe a lot of us.

Weren'T giving. And for many of us who grew up telling ourselves we don't want to be like our mothers, sometimes they have some. Some things to impart to us. Yeah. Okay. I hope that was helpful for you.

Butterfly said, the tea is hot. It sure is, honey. Okay. Someone said plus size. Girls dating. What quest? Give me specific questions and then I'll be able to answer them. Blue Moon said, dating multiple men at once. How to avoid exhaustion. Here's the. Here's the gag. Here's what I want you to think about when you're dating multiple men. And you should have, like, you want to have, like, three men, what I call Olympic dating on your podium. A gold medalist, a silver medalist, and a bronze medalist.

The reason why people are literally getting exhausted is because they're giving 100% to each guy. I would be exhausted, too, because if I was dating three guys, it means I would be over exhausting myself and giving 300%.

No, girl, you need to give 33% to each of these guys so that you still at your 100%. What does this mean? What does this look like? This looks like.

When you're chat, texting with the guys, text them all at the same time. That's what these dudes do, right? When they give you that good morning text, they're also texting, like, three to five other women. Many of them are not All.

So let's say you're texting a guy at 9. Text the other guy's, too, girl. While you're at it, what's happening is that you're getting exhausted because every time a guy texts you, you feel like you have to text him right back. So, girl, you can't get through 20 minutes of your work because you got dudes texting you.

Yeah.

Don'T do that. Someone said the pickings are slim. They're not as slim as you. You might. You might think the gag is. And, you know, this is something that a lot of people don't know, but I want to share this with you. Some of the girls, some of y', all are not putting.

Some of these guys that are, like, obsessed with you in your roster. You going for the same guy that 80% of women are going for on these apps or offline. And you're competing. Part of your roster needs to be with guys that are going to court you and be obsessed with you, but you're not giving those guys a chance. Because here's the thing. Your guy's supposed to be obsessed with you. Yeah.

So that is what I want to offer to you.

Let me see what y' all are talking about. Oh, my God, it's going so fast.

Someone said guilty. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Let me see the questions.

Okay. Poison Ivy says, are there stats on high divorce rates for people who marry young? Yes. But also because young is often correlated with not as educated. And people that are more educated, like, get. Don't get divorced at. At such a rate. At a higher rate. Yeah. Leslie said, what do you think about sliding into a guy's DM on ig? Is that doing too much? I think that there should be, like, a phase around it. So, like, first you might want to, like some of the posts, then you might want to comment. Right. And then you. Then after that, you want to do, like, comment on a story. Right. Right. And then there's a thing where you can, like, kind of, like, like the story and then comment on it, and that starts the conversation. Right. But I don't want you going straight to the dm, being like, hey, baby.

Yoli said, amar, a lot of men look but don't approach me. Sometimes I think they think I'm too young.

No, a lot of people just, like. A lot of guys just, like, aren't approaching women these days. Like, I think the rate is, like, a third of guys are approaching women than they used to, like, 10 years ago. And this is part of MeToo movement. This is part of the pandemic. And so you're gonna have to start some conversations or give them the green light through physical kind of mannerisms or body language. Right. How do I do that? I give. I. I give smile, I give wave. I give Mortal Kombat, get over here.

I give what needs to be given. Right. Somebody next to me. I might give them a compliment. Someone right here. I might ask them for help. Hey, can you get me a glass of water? I am.

Parched. I might ask for a recommendation. I never come to this coffee shop. What should I get here?

Boom. Now we're talking. Now we're in conversation. Now we're doing what needs to be done. Now we're touching grass. We're touching men. We're outside. We're dating offline.

Yeah. And then we see how he drives the conversation. A lot of the girls are still acting cute and mute, like it's the 1950s and you're waiting for somebody to ask you to. To dance at the, you know, eighth grade, ninth grade dance, girl. Can't do that anymore because it's just. It's not. That's not the tea anymore.

Yeah.

So don't say I've never.

Given you anything because I'm giving lots of tea. Maybe too much tea. This is the stuff that you get in my program, honey. By the way, got a. Got many programs. Check the link in my bio if you want to work with me.

Make it happen. If you don't, stay on here and listen to my podcast. Okay? Because those will help you tremendously as well. Yeah.

Yeah. I have a podcast. It's called the get your guy coaching podcast. So definitely check it out if you want to know about this as well. Hello, Doula. I see you, girl.

Yeah. Okay. Let me see what else is going on.

Fun, fun Said. I just missed 28 minutes of tea, girl. It'll be on YouTube in a day or two. Don't worry about it. Okay, let me see what the tea is.

Let me scroll up because I missed a lot of bro Mama Zaza said, what if I am talking to a man who wants to text a lot? Set a boundary. I can't text all day. I'm really busy. But why don't you do. Why don't you call me at 7pm.

Now you gotta call. Fuck the text girl.

Unique said, how do I calm the nervous system if they don't text back? You gotta do something else.

You gotta have multiple guys that you're talking to. If you're busy texting other guys, that One guy that doesn't text back is becomes a non motherfuckin factor. Yeah.

Latrana said, dating a flight attendant.

Girl, athletes are like glorified flight attendants, girl. They traveling to different cities and hooking up with people in different cities and half of them are gay.

Lynn said, pull away faze advice. What do you mean? I need more specificity there.

No, it's true, girl. I'm not just saying that because I'm some gay dude. It's like they around all these men all the time, girl. That testosterone makes them go crazy, girl. They gotta let it off and new and different ways. And here's the thing. And it's the same same with wealthy men that it's like sometimes when they're with women all the time, they get tired of it, it becomes like vanilla and they want some of that rocky road.

Anyway, let me continue. Girl. I don't want to get into that too much, girl. It's messy. Okay.

Resilient floor said why does he offer a key to his house but yet it feels like he's distant? I don't know girl. I need more info. I need more information.

Butterfly said a guy ghosted and reappeared today. Now he's being super flirt. He wasn't before. Should I go? No, we don't goes. We just let him know it's not a fit because your future husband won't do that.

Yeah.

Gorgeous Jess said, I love your advice. When I get married, I'm going to message you and thank you. I love it. Thank you so much. Let them know it's not a fit cuz your future husband won't do that.

Yeah.

Gorgeous Jess said, I love your advice. When I get married I'm going to message you and thank you. I love it. Thank you so much.

Tracy said, what about he wants to text you all the time instead of calling. I think I answered that question already. Yeah.

Glois said this guy asked for my number but then texts dry after two days. Why is that? Our job's not to figure out the why. Our job is just to figure out how it feels for us and if we like it or not. And if we don't, we peace out. We let them know it's not a fit.

Zanetta said, what if we don't want to go outside? Well, girl, you're gonna you then you're given March 2020 girl. And we're gonna have to move away from that, especially as things get a bit warmer. You're gonna need to go outside because the apps are not apping so if you want to continue to work on apps right now, I don't think they're gonna get back for another six months. Another four to six months. They're cyclical like that.

That or you probably need to take a longer break.

For your dating.

Yeah.

Sim Royalty said, I have such a hard time asking men for things, but should I be asking? Yeah, everything.

Pretend you have no arms and no legs, girl, everybody should be helping you. And this feels really, really hard for black and brown women because that's not how we are taught. But like, I did roll call for the white girls. That's how they're taught. Many of them, not all. Many of them.

They are conditioned to believe that people are there to do things for them. And I want you all to do the same because that's how you're going to attract a provider, someone who wants to give to you. Many of us are just like, we got to do everything for everyone. And when you are in that mindset, you are literally attracting the takers.

That's why you're like, oh, my God, I'm always attracting the narcissist. I'm always attracting the mama boys. It's because your energy is actually the complement to that. So you gotta switch your energy.

Yeah. That's what's important here. Okay. Someone said, good question. Kingsol. So let me see what's going on. I want to go out to a bar by myself, but I'm nervous. What if no one talks to me? Girl, start talking to the bartender. Start talking to the people next to you. Boy or girl, doesn't matter. Just start talking. Because when you start engaging with multiple people, then the guys who actually want to talk to you will be more apt to actually approach you and start a conversation because they see that you're open. When you are on your phone or by yourself or doing all of that, you're not going to look like you're open to connect. And they want to see that because most of these guys are being rejected most of the time. So you want to. You want them to understand you're probably not going to get rejected. Well, like, we'll have a conversation and have fun, but yeah, like, let's talk. Yeah.

Melanie said, I've done the get over here, girl. That was my. That was my go to. The thing is, when you tell these guys what to do, they do it because they know that they're not going to get rejected. Now, do I do this for every guy? No. I only would do this to the guys that I knew were interested in me. Right. So that I would minimize the possibility of rejection. So how did I figure this out? Obviously, if he's giving mad eye contact. Yes. Right. If his feet are pointing toward you, it means he's interested in you. I don't care if he's black, white, all guys, all people. It's body language 101. Yeah. If he is interested in you, his feet will point to you. This is how I always knew who was like, DL or gay or not. I would walk into a room, I wouldn't even look anybody in their eyes. Girl, I was giving 1920s. Girl.

Can'T look anyone in their eye. I'm looking straight at their feet. And if they're pointing to me, I knew I had them and I knew I could give them the get over here and they would come. They would feel honored to come. Yeah. Charmaine said, my preference is very specific. Younger Korean, Japan, Chinese men. Is that very unrealistic? Girl, it sounds a bit pervy to me, but, girl, you better just go to Korea and get you a K. Pop idol star. Girl, I think it's important to just date everybody and see who treats you the best. Yeah. What I've learned in doing this work for 14 years is that, like, your type is generally not going to be your type of. So what that means is that you have to open and widen your net. It's part of our general growth, you know what I'm saying, as human beings. And this is part of our general growth, you know what I'm saying, as human beings. And this is what dating and relationships and love is all about. So you want to be able to experience that, because when you talk to new and different people, you will engage in new and different parts of yourself.

Yeah. Yeah.

King Zoell said, the problem is I always look a mess whenever I see a potential girl. Don't worry about that. You actually will probably get approached more when you're out and you're looking a mess because they feel like.

Like she's not going to reject me or I have a lower probability of being rejected. Right.

So. And y' all probably have experienced it when you look a mess. You probably get approached more when you're all dolled up. They're intimidated because you look expensive and too expensive for them. Yeah.

I'm telling y', all, all you need to do is, like, talk to these guys and. Because nobody talks to men, girl. These men are lonely.

Do you know what I mean?

Loan what dating and relationships and love is all about. So you want to be able to Ali.

Any sort of conversation that they're having, girl, they're gonna gag on it. They're gonna love it. Nobody's talking to them. Maybe some of those guys on. On Twitch.

You know, but after a while, typing to some rando on Reddit gets really tired and lame, girl. So they're gonna gag on anything that you tell them. Yeah.

Okay. Let me see what y' all are talking about.

Tyex Re said, Mr. Anwar, you are right. The come here gesture to call guys overworks did it with a straight guy.

No, that's right.

It really does work, honey.

Me d said, for those being in our masculine energy for so long, how does one overcome that? So that's something that I really do help with in my program because it's deeper work. You can't just say, well, I'm going to be in my feminine energy now, and it's just going to be like that. It's more like cosplaying femininity. Like, there's deeper work that has to be done that's related to your inner child, your parental wounds and relationships and things like that. Okay. And if you're interested in that, you can definitely go to the link in my bio and book a call.

Peeps are creeps. Said, I love you. This advice is so practical. Thank you. Yeah.

Smooches said, drop the napkin. Let him pick it up. Yeah, you can do that, girl. But, like, I think, like, you don't have to do that. Like, you can do whatever. Like, there are a variety of ways to talk to these men. Ms. Cosmo said, can we have you in an earpiece? That's what my clients do. My VIP clients. They can message me at any time, even when they're on a day. Oh, this man said this. I don't know what to do. I'm in a bathroom right now. What's going on? What should I do? What's my next step? I get it all the time, right? My VIP clients can reach out to me at any time, day or night, and I'm going to reach out to them. Yeah. Yeah.

Poison. I said, do you think that the 4B movement will have an influence on Western societies? I think that. I think that if black women adopted that 4B movement, it would force black men to have to evolve.

A lot of black men say that, like, you know, that they are like some saviors for black women, but it's actually the. The opposite because a lot of black women actually settle for some of the mediocre mediocrity that is happening for black men. But if you. And when I say the 4B movement, it's not. I'm not talking about the natural hair movement, girl. No shade. This is about.

The 4B movement, I think originated in Korea where the women said, we're not dating. We're not having babies. We're not having sex with you. There's another thing that they're not doing. My mind's a little bit fried right now, but basically that's what they're saying. So the birth rate has gone down significantly, and it's like a major emergency.

In Korea right now because, like, everything is getting off kiltered. Right. And they are affecting even the economy because there's so much, like, violence against women, mistreatment, inequality. And that's what they're kind of.

That's what they're kind of protesting about.

Yeah.

Yeah. Not getting married. That's it, too.

It would suck for me as a dating coach, but I. If, you know, that's. That's what I think is necessary if black women really want black men. Because no shade. Not many other people are coming for them. So they literally will just be all alone, and they won't be forced to evolve.

Let me see what's going on here.

Chef Park Sparkle said, I look like George Jefferson in a ball cap. And he walked up on me. They always do, girl.

Lady J said, how do you change the energy? You both agree to be in a situation. Siobhan, you don't. You're a situationship category. You're a good time girl. Yeah. So that's the category that he's put you in. You're not going to get in an exclusive relationship with him. You need to, like, kind of throw it away and start again with another person, because your future husband would never put you in that category.

Your future partner would never do that.

Yeah.

Raw reflection said, this is funny because, yeah, when I look my lowest, they love me 100%.

Nakara said, amore. Guess what? What, girl, What's Tea.

Said? True. The average men are some of the loneliest. They are. Most men are lonely. Like, two thirds of men are single. Total loneliness. Don't know what to do with themselves. Like, gagged.

Ever since I've been saying my husband would never. Leaving Desti's behind has been so much easier. Love that. That helps me and my clients so much. And that question is.

Would my husband ever do this?

Blue moon Brit said, black men will have you believe that they are the most sought after. They're literally the least sought after.

Yeah.

Glow with Denise said, I'm So tired of getting approached by younger men. Why? Girl, younger men are. It's where it's at.

Like, literally, like you, like three to six years younger. That's where most of my clients are getting their guys. I think, like, we grow up thinking.

That we want someone older because that's how women are conditioned and programmed. No, girl, get you a younger person. Get you a younger guy. They come in more correct than these older guys. Yeah.

Sorry if I'm missing some questions. I have about 1100 people in my TikTok and 80 people in my IG, so lots going on here.

I'm trying to get to everybody.

And thank you all so much for the 60,000 likes on TikTok. If there's anything that I've said that resonates with you, tap, double tap, triple tap. The screenshot. Yeah. Someone said good questions over here on IG too. Okay. Ask them and I'll. I will try to. To answer. Black men will have you believe that they are the most sought after. They're literally the least sought after.

Yeah.

Glow with answer them. Coach Daphne, thank you so much for the heart me. Appreciate it.

Silo. What do I give an ex a second chance after we broke up 10 years ago? Depends on why you broke up.

WMA said, and why. How do we talk to nerds? They're so awkward, girl. Talk to them online, girl. They're not awkward online.

Lovin said, what's your thoughts on dating a doctor? I wouldn't do it.

I wouldn't do it.

Well, surgeons for sure. Many of them have gut complexes. And you know what? I. You know what I researched that doctors are like, some of the worst in bed. Yuck to that. They should be the best. They studied for years upon years on the body and they still can't hit the walls. Hit my spots, honey.

And if anybody's hooked up with a doctor, they know. Denise said, I'm so tired of getting approached by younger men. Why? Girl, younger men are. It's where it's at.

Like, literally, like you, like three to six years younger. That's where most of my clients are getting their guys. I think, like, we grow up thinking.

That we want someone older. Maybe because they working so much they tired, girl.

Oh. Some people are doing this because they know, honey. Yeah. Grey's Anatomy lied to us, honey. They thought we'd be making it happen, honey. They're not. Sarah said, how can we join your program? Go to the link in my bio. Book a consultation call and.

Yeah, we'll see if it's a fit or not.

Julia said, what do you do when a guy confesses he likes you but doesn't keep in touch? We live far away from each other. We let him go. He doesn't like you, or he would be keeping in touch.

Groove Shark said, can you explain Alphabet men? I did a video on that, so I would actually just go back to that video because it explains exactly the kind of men Alphabet men are.

Because that's how women are conditioned in program. No, girl. Get you a younger person, get you a younger guy. They come in more correct than these older guys. Yeah. High water healing. Can you tell us some more body language cues that someone is into you? I think I'm going to do a video about it because there's so many.

Coach Stephanie said, advice for single mom.

Sorry if I'm missing some questions I have about moms on attracting the right partner.

I think 1100 people in my TikTok and 80 people in my IG. So it's going to be important for. For single moms to kind of really, like, intentionally get out of their masculine energy. Because as a single mom, you're literally in charge of doing everything. And so most of the time you are very, like, focused on, like, getting your kids to do everything. So you end up, like, bossing them around a lot. And that sort of language and communication, you sometimes will be, like, focused in on men. And that's like, as I was talking about before, a testosterone downer. Right. They're going to. No, you're not my mama. Right. Because most of them have not so great relationship with their mom to begin with. No. So you. Part of this work is learning how to be in your feminine energy, learning how to ask for help, learning how to, like, receive and let them provide. Yeah. Someone said, when's the next any new podcast episode? Soon. Yeah, girl, tomorrow. Coach Stephanie, thank you so much for this. Like, money maker, dollar bill gun. Lots going on here.

I'm trying to get to everybody.

And thank you all so much for the 60,000 likes on Tik Tok. If there's anything that I've said that resonates with you. T.

Said tips on how to be more vulnerable around men. That's deeper work that needs to be done. It's not like you're just going to be able to do it. You actually have to learn how to feel safe doing that. And for many black and brown women, double tap, triple tap the screens. Yeah. Someone said, good question. That's not something that's conditioned in our households. Like, that's not like your feelings were not necessarily welcomed or celebrated as you were growing up. So you don't necessarily. You might not feel 100% safe while you're doing that. So there's a lot of deeper work that needs to happen even with the inner child to allow you to start to feel safe around being more vulnerable from a feeling perspective.

Shanita said, stages of dating thoughts. What do you mean?

What do you mean exactly?

Free Camp said, omg thank you. You're so wise. No problem.

Oprah. Gucci said, how should you break celibacy Questions over here on IG too. Okay, ask them and I'll I will try to to answer them. Coach Daphne, thank you so much for the heart me appreciate it.

Silo. What do I give an ex A second chance after we broke up 10 years ago? Depends on why you broke up.

Girl. I'm gonna leave that alone because that's up to you. That's not up to me. Globetinise said, yes, so spot on. Thank you, girl.

Banana said, do you help women with locs?

Girl, I help women with locs. I help women with. I help women with. Girl, everything. If you're a woman, girl, I'm gonna help you. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter what the T is, girl.

Which Dr. Kiki said, dying future doctor here. Oh.

Julia said, do you offer one on ones? Yes, in my VIP program, but I don't necessarily offer them just like a la carte. That's not why am I sad and why how do we talk to nerds? They're so awkward. Girl, talk to them online. Girl. They're not awkward online.

Lovin said, what's your thoughts on dating a doctor? I wouldn't do it where true transformation happens, in my opinion. Kai said, because of these lives and podcasts, I've been in training camp all winter, starting stepping out and using the tips given and y', all, it works. Just keep on the course. It really does, y'. All. It really does. I really do try to make sure that.

I wouldn't do it.

What I'm giving you, you'll be able to take for yourself and run with it, right?

Yeah.

Augusta said, yeah, Dr. D is no good. Lmao. Esther said, I can attest. Nope. Will never.

Miss Cosmo said, do we tell them we're multi dating? If they ask.

Be honest and let them know that you're single until you're in an exclusive relationship.

Well, surgeons for sure many of them have God complexes. And you know what I you know what I researched that doctors are like some of the worst in Bed. Yuck to that. Let me see what y' all are talking. Ms. Daphne. Coach Daphne. Thank God. They should be the best. They studied for years upon years on the body and they still do. So much for the gym gun.

Okay, Max said, what's the podcast called again? It's called the get yout Guy Coaching podcast.

Yeah.

Nick can't hit the walls. Hit my spots, honey.

Jordani said, why do men ghost and try to come back?

Don't do that to yourself. Don't try to figure out the why with men because it won't serve you. Yeah.

It can be a variety of different reasons why, but I would say 95 of the reasons why is because he's either bored, he's horny, he wants to control you. Whatever you've leveled up to, he wants to take away. He wants. He wants your resources. He wants to colonize what you've created without him. Right. And he wants you broken because he wants to control you. He wants to see if he still has access and or power to you. Yeah. Don't let him.

And if anybody's hooked up with a doctor, they know. Man, it keeps on skipping.

Thank you all so much for the maybe because they work in so much, they tired girl.

77,000 likes. It's amazing.

Oh, some people are doing this because they know, honey. Yeah, Grey's Anatomy lied to us, honey. They thought we'd be making it happen. Honey. They're not serious. Let me see what's going on here.

Sweet Tiff, what do you think about the hinge algorithm for black girls? I've been saying no to hinge since 2022. If you're a Black girl, it reminds me of fifth grade where you like that white boy and he didn't like you back. I very rarely, very rarely.

Recommend that.

Juju Said Love you, fairy godbrother from Toronto, Canada. Thank you. Girl.

How can we join your program? Go to the link in my bio book a consultation call and.

Yeah, we'll see if it's a fit or not.

Desi Guest said, I've started thinking. What would Anwar say? It's been helpful. Thank you.

Jessqueen Sassy said oh wow. I understood that reference. What reference?

Reference did I say.

Which doctor? Said don't worry. I'm not like these other doctors. Girl by your name I know you're not Girl.

C said do your tests apply to lesbian relationships? 100%.

A hundred percent.

Can can said but the male nurse D is everything.

I concur.

Girl okay girl Let me move on. Girl Dr. Hope said not a question, just a compliment. You have a calming aura. Thank you, girl. I appreciate that.

Tracy said, I'm dating a star. He's going faster than I am. What should I do? Well, here's the thing. If you're dating someone that is a star that is used to have being the center of attention, you're gonna have to ask your question. You're gonna have to ask yourself if you're gonna be okay with that being in term where he's the center of everything and you have to support him. Now, one of the things that I tell my clients is that I don't want that. That's not, like, sustainable. And resentment is going to grow. Yeah.

So.

You know, if he's putting you first, then I'm all for it. If he's putting his ambitions and himself first. I'm not a huge fan of.

Let me see.

Blue Moon. Brit said, I don't drink, so no bars. Where can I go and position myself? Girl, go where you like. Do your hobbies, do your passions. Your job is just to engage anytime you're out and about. Right. Some of these girls are like, I'm gonna go to Home Depot. Get a man. Girl, the men can smell the desperation and the thirst a mile away before you even get into the store.

Most of those men are married anyway. So what are we doing?

Yeah.

What to do. When a man calls himself insecure, believe him.

If he's telling you, that means he's really insecure.

Yeah.

Jessica said, you are awesome. Thank you for all you do.

You're welcome. Thank you.

Brie said, I went over to a guy's place to be intimate. We were cuddling, and he was super hard, but he didn't want to have sex. Thoughts on why? I don't know, but, like, it really depends. Like, what date was this? Because, y', all, I want to tell you right now.

When you are intimate with a guy, it changes the courtship and the relationship. Your body will chemically bond to him. His body and his hormones will want to step away from you, and he will have no incentive to want to, like, make commit to you because you already acting like the girlfriend. So there's no reason why he would want to add emotional responsibility to that to that.

Third time I was at his place. So the third date.

So I'm also. I'm saying I'm glad he said no. Yeah.

Because I would have changed everything.

Chrissy B. Thank you so much for the Six Roses. Shauna. Thank you so much for the disco. Love.

The Boseman. You are the Bomb Fairy God brother. Thank you so much.

Brie Gam said we were intimate before. Good. So when he said. No, let's keep. Let's keep it like that. You want to take a step back?

Yeah.

Tip Neca said so we shouldn't sleep with them until Commitment. As a grown woman, you get to do whatever the hell you want to do.

Yeah. Your body, your agency. Do whatever you want. I'm a man. I have no license to speak on what I what you want to do as a dating coach.

I will share with you what I've seen and it is what I've just explained.

Chloe said them Filipino male nurses bq Let it happen, girl. Let it happen.

Seeky thank you so much for the rose.

What time is it? Honey? I'm trying to go to bed a little bit early. I'm giving y' all about ten more minutes, honey, then I. Honey, she gotta go to bed. Honey, these. Honey, my daughter once, she said, I see those Louis Vuitton bags under your eyes. I said, girl, I'll take you out right now, girl. What are you talking about? No, I don't do that. I said, girl, what? Excuse me, you're getting too comfortable. I have a 10 year old girl and I swear she thinks that she is 25. I'm not your friend, girl. And I'm not even your father. I'm your dad.

Girl.

But I'm glad she said Louis Vuitton and she didn't say another bag.

Juju said, your Advice got me three dates for my 50th birthday. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Yes, I know that's right.

AJ said you have a daughter. I have three kids. I have two daughters and a son.

And I love them to. To death.

Like death. Like dying. Save Meek said, I've been looking for a Vanilla king and can't find him. Help me. Where's he at? Girl, he's at the Bass Pro Shop. He's golfing, he's playing pickleball, he is walking his dog. He's hiking, he's at a baseball game, he's at a hockey game.

Yeah, but here's the thing. Winter's like over. It's spring now. Spring means whiteboard. Winter's over. Spring means we're going for Asian guys. Yeah, these cherry blossoms are out, which means that they're out. So March.

April, Asian guys, May and June, Hispanic. When Cinco de Mayo starts, we go in for the Hispanic guys.

Yeah.

July and August, when it's hot. Hot. When that sun is out. Honey, that and it's attracting all that melanin, that's when we get in the black eyes, girl.

September and October, girl, that's where we're going for Indian and Middle Eastern and Arab, girl.

That's why they call it Indian summer, girl. Right at the end, girl. No, sh.

And that is what you call the year of dating.

You gotta know your seasons. That's what we learn in kindergarten, girl. So I'm giving you kindergarten tea.

Somebody said, I gotta wait till September, October. Then.

Celine said, nah, he's speaking facts, girl. I'm not speaking facts, girl. Girl, I am wildly unserious. I'm like, either very serious or negative Serious. Not serious at all.

Thick and sweet. Said, we need a season video. I. But here's the thing, girl. Every time I put a video out, people are literally taking it literally. And then they call me racist, they call me colorists, they call me gay, which I am. They call me. They call me everything under the book. Yeah.

But, yeah, you, girl. They're a dating season here. Dating seasons, honey.

Yeah, we're in Asian persuasion season.

Yeah.

Miss Adam said, no, it sounds legit.

Oh, my gosh. Anyway, get those calendars out, girl. Get those calendars out, honey. These cherry blossoms are out. That means that these East Asian men are out.

Yeah. Yes, honey. Get some Boba karaoke, honey. Go to Uniqlo. Thank me later.

Lily said, what's rich man season, Girl? All year round, there are rich men in every category.

All year around. Someone said, where's the beef, though?

Oh, some of these. Some of these Chinese men surprise you, honey. You know how they said China's taking over the world?

Some of them really are, girl. No shade. No shade. Oh, Lord.

I know that's right, honey.

Person. I've said white boy season. White boy season is year round in my neck of the woods. I know that's right, girl. All of them should be. But I think, you know, everything has a season, honey.

Nakara said, Anwar life update. We're moving in. Ladies, listen to him. Congratulations. That makes me so happy. So someone said, someone wants that Szechuan beef, honey. Oh, girl, now you acting a fool. Now you acting a fool. Yeah.

Acting a fool.

Someone said beef and broccoli. I know that's right, girl. Hey, I want that orange chicken, honey. You know what I'm saying?

Some of the girls know. Some of the girls don't. And that's okay.

Anyway, with that said, honey, I'm gonna go to bed. And y' all need to go to bed too, because we are. We're starting to get into territory that's dangerous. Yeah.

Where I can get canceled again or banned. And I don't want that because I want to continue to rock with y'. All. Alrighty. All right. Be well. I hope this was helpful for you. And yeah, if you want to work with me, book a call with me. The link's in my bio. But if not, keep on coming to these lives and listen to my podcast. That's how you can support me. I think a lot of women ask, oh, how can I support you? Even if I don't want to work with you? That's fine. Subscribe to my podcast. Subscribe to my YouTube channel. That helps me a lot. My podcast is everywhere. Spotify, Apple, wherever you listen to podcasts. Alrighty. Awesome. Be well, ladies. I will talk with you all soon. Bye. Bye.

Julia said, what do you do when a guy confesses he likes you but doesn't keep in touch? We live far away from each other. We let him go. He doesn't like you or he would be keeping in touch.

Groove Shark said, Can you explain Alphabet men? I did a video on that, so I would actually just go back to that video because it explains. Explains exactly the kind of men Alphabet men are.

High water healing. Can you tell us some more body language cues that someone is into you? I think I'm going to do a video about it because there's so many.

Coach Stephanie said advice for single moms on attracting the right partner.

I think it's going to be important for single moms to kind of really, like, intentionally get out of their masculine energy because as a single mom, you're literally in charge of doing everything. And so most of the time you are very, like, focused on, like, getting your kids to do everything. So you end up, like, bossing them around a lot. And that sort of language and communication you sometimes will be, like, focused in on men. And that's like as I was talking about before a testosterone downer. Right. They're gonna no. You know my mama, right? Because most of them have not so great relationship with their mom to begin with. No. So you. Part of this work is learning how to be in your feminine energy, learning how to ask for help, learning how to like, receive and let them provide. Yeah. Someone said once in next any new podcast episode soon. Yeah, girl. Tomorrow. Coach, definitely. Thank you so much for this, like money maker Dollar Bill Gun.

Said, tips on how to be more vulnerable around men. That's deeper work that needs to be done. It's not like you're just going to be able to do it you actually have to learn how to feel safe doing that. And for many black and brown women, that's not something that's conditioned in our households. Like, that's not like your feelings were not necessarily welcomed or celebrated as you were growing up. So you don't necessarily. You might not feel 100% safe while you're doing that. So there's a lot of deeper work that needs to happen, even with the inner child to allow you to start to feel safe around being more vulnerable from a feeling perspective.

Shanita said, stages of dating thoughts. What do you mean?

What do you mean exactly?

Free camps at omg. Thank you. You're so wise. No problem.

Oprah. Gucci said, how should you break celibacy?

Girl, I'm gonna leave that alone because that's up to you. That's not up to me. Globet Denise said, yes. So spot on. Thank you, girl.

Banana said, do you help women with locs?

Girl, I help women with locs. I help women with. I help women with. Girl, everything. If you're a woman, girl, I'm gonna help you matter. Doesn't matter what the tea is, girl.

Which Dr. Kiki said? Dying future doctor here. Oh.

Julia said, do you offer one on ones? Yes, in my VIP.