Dating Q & A 04-09-24

Lordy, Lordy, lordy.

M.

Hello, everyone. Hello, hello, hello.

Hello, Sierra girl. Hey, Jay. Good evening. Hey, Jaleesa. Hey D. Hey, Charde. Not my favorite person, girl. Oh my God. Sierra said, omg, I love your lives. Thank you girl. Hey Laura. Hey, Jordan. Hey, Ang. Hey Casey. Hey, Dreamy. Hey Britney, Bri, Lexus, Cynthia, Tabitha, your girl Reese, Casey, Gray, Beso, Jocelyn, Courtney. Courtney said, how do I book with you, girl? Go to the link in my bio library Mouse, Nene. Hey girl. Olivia, Juicy. I try to do my Whitney all the time, girl.

Coco Rena. Hey girl. Aon says, I saw you live and said let me jump on. You better jump on and jump off, girl. She jump in, jump out, turn yourself about. Yes. Alexis said, omg, perfect timing. Sandy said, I was just thinking about you, girl. What were you thinking about? Hey, Jackie girl. Hey Lotus. Honey, what's tea? What's tea? Ladies, what's tea? Hey. Changing beautifully. Hey Lee. Hey Brandy. Hey chrissy girl. Hey, user25. Brandy said, I knew you was doing Whitney. Somebody's got to do her, girl. We got to con up her spirit, girl. Cuz none of these girls singing like she used to, honey. And I'm missing her, girl. They try to bring Ariana Grande up in here. No, girl, she not doing it the way Whitney did it, honey. Hey, Raven. Hey, msg. She said, I'm ready for some good advice. I'm ready to give you the tea. No chaser, honey. D said, I joined a social club today. Golf and tennis. I know that's right, girl. She said she girl, you better join pickleball too, girl. She said she wants old and white. I know that's right. No shade. All tea, honey. All tea.

Bad, bad. Blair said how bad? That I reach out to an ex to make peace and then nothing more. Not bad, girl, but you got to get closure with yourself, honey.

Charlie Knee said, what's tea is that these men cannot converse. No, they can't, girl. No, they can't. That's why, like I don't want y' all to.

I don't want you all to trip because these guys.

Don'T know how to have a conversation. Sometimes it's like having a conversation with a five year old, right?

And that's okay, but we don't, you know, if it, if it, if it gives that. Girl, we just step away so we can have adult conversations. Someone said, is using eharmony a good idea? Yeah, girl, if you like, if you like feeling like you're going. If you stepping right into a white church, girl. That's what eharmony gives. Yeah, y' all are talking the same language, but are you really talking the same language? Yeah.

I know. I feel really uncomfortable. Girl, you don't know what kind of. You don't know what kind of coming together it is. You don't know if it's a rally or what. Honey.

Ayanci said, I met someone in jail on eharmony. Don't recommend.

Yes, honey. Physical or moral gel.

No shade. No shade.

Chris Deck said. Hey, fairy God, bro. Hey, girl. Good to see y'. All. What's tea? What's the tea, honey? Now, for those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar White. I'm a dating coach for black and brown women. They call me the Fairy Godbrothers. I'm here to answer your questions about love, dating, relationships and men or women. We're all inclusive here. Or anything in between. Girls, 20, 24. We don't know how many genders there are these days. Girl. No shade. So whatever you're into, I'm into it, too. Yeah. I'm. I'm every woman. I'm. I'm androgynous. I am, you know, poly, girl. I'm bi. I'm everything, girl. Yeah. So if you into it, I'm into it, too. Yeah. I just want you to get with whoever treats you the best at the end of the day. Yeah.

Family 7ov3 said, My problem is we ain't going steady. We just kicking it. My feelings just don't understand. No, girl, we don't kick anything, girl. We're not soccer players.

What is this? Swe?

Just kick it. No, we don't do that. You're chasing waterfalls like tlc, girl.

Don't do it, girl. Don't do it, girl. You chasing waterfalls, you're going to drown.

All right, let me see what the girls are talking about. Storm said, we love you and we're. Thank you, girl. I, I, I. I love the love. You know, we all need it every now and then, so I appreciate it. Shada Said. Oh, your name looks like an Arabic name. It is. It means brightness. She's bright.

Skin is a little bit bright, too. Honey. She's been working on it. It's got her snow mucin. Honey, that rose water.

Hey, I love Chipper. Hey, Queen Elle Gian Darling said. Hey, I'm ready for this. I know that's right, girl. I'm ready for it, too. Gosh, Tia said I had to switch from IG to TikTok. Well, girl, there's 10 times as many people on here than on IG, so I have to give 90% of my attention to Tik Tok. Unfortunately not. Unfortunate. Unfortunate for the IG girls. Sorry about it, honey, but, you know, I got to allocate accordingly. Equity, equity tea. Yeah. Not equality.

Okay, let me see what the tea is.

Thank you inquisitively. Med for the rose. Let me see. What are the questions, honey? Mom slap said, I love pickleball. Hey, heard you're a CMU grad. Me too. Who told you? Who told you my business, honey? Who told you my business? Y' all better. Better. Stop it. Jim. Jim said, I love you. Thank you so much and thank y' all for being here. I really do appreciate being able to come together and just, you know, spill a little bit of tea. Put your questions in the chat. I will answer them in the order that I see them because I want y' all to win when it comes to dating and relationships and love at the end of the day. And if you feel like, oh, my God, I want to work with him, definitely go to the link in my bio and book a consultation call and we'll see if it's a good fit or not. That's that. Yeah, Chrissy said we're doing pretty good. I'm getting a third date, finally with a guy. I love that for you. Now, girl. You've been following me for a while, Chrissy. And you know what I say about third dates you want to get? If he's paid for every date you want to give, get him a small gift. That's like 20, $25. Real thoughtful tea, girl. And I'm giving you this tea. I only give this to my clients. But, Chrissy, you've been following me for a while, so I want to give you this tea. Cuz I want you to win, honey. Real thoughtful. Based on his passions, based on his hobbies, based on an inside joke. Right? You did this, girl, see your palm. He's going to be eating out of it. No shade, girl. Yeah. So let me know if you need any help brainstorming because I'm really good at getting guys gifts. I do it literally every other day in my program.

Ms. Ann said an ex found me after ten years. Why? Well, our. Our responsibility is not to figure out the why. You will literally go crazy trying to figure out the why with guys. So I just want to. If you have why questions, don't ask them here. Right. Our job's not to figure out the why. Our job is to figure out how we feel and honor that. Yeah. That's what this is about. When people come at you from a long time ago, it means that their love life isn't working and they're trying to rekindle something that they thought was there. Yeah, you never. You never want to kind of really get into that. Probability of that working is like, 1%.

Lee said, I love your dating tips that change my outlook. Good. That makes me happy. Yeah. Queen Elle, how are you, girl?

Amber Waves. Thank you so much for the finger heart. Girl.

Inquisitively met said. Any thoughts on Facebook dating? I think Facebook dating is okay for people that are 50 plus.

It's not something that I would recommend for most individuals, though. Yeah, but again, you've heard me say this all. Q1 of this year, we cannot be staying online. Ladies, you're gonna need to touch grass. You're gonna need to go outside. You're gonna have to, girl, if you went outside for the eclipse, go outside for your dating life.

Please. You hear me? Yeah.

Oh, Haley said, white church. Yuck.

Oh, girl, not yuck. Jim. Jim said, love your videos, girl. I'm so loving you. Thank you so much.

Okay, what's tea, honey? What's. What's. What's. What are the questions that we're having? You. Wilbur said, tips for not receiving matches on Hinge. Girl, get off of hinge. Hinge is unhinged. If you are a person of color, girl, Hinge is not going to give you what you need. Trust me on that. Now, in the pandemic, it was giving everything. All of my clients got their people from Hinge in 2020 and 2021. After that, girl, Hinge has gone downhill really fast, especially if you're a woman of color. I always feel like if. If I were a black woman, I would. I would not even download the app. It gives me, you know, in like, fifth and sixth grade, when you had a crush on that white boy, but, like, he was mean and racist.

Like, that's what hinge gives me. And I don't like it, but maybe I'm telling my business.

Ec Lynn said, been missing you. I know.

I took my family to New York this past weekend. My best friend was having a birthday, so I celebrated with her. And then my kid got sick. So Saturday and Sunday were kind of out of the picture. I wasn't even there for many of my clients, unfortunately. So I'm finally kind of coming back. But thank you for. For thinking of me. I appreciate that. Riribo said, omg. I finally caught your lives. Thank you, girl. And thank you all. So much for all the likes. If there's anything that resonates with you as I continue to answer these questions, please tap, double tap, triple tap the screen, honey, so that we can work these likes up, honey. That's what I'm all about. Nicole said, I love it. Fairy Godbrother. I love it, honey.

Rose said, how are people on dating apps in jail, girl? You know that they have access to computers, right? And you know that, like, half these mofos have cell phones in their girl. Haven't you ever watched the show Oz or Orange is the New Black? Honey.

Girl, even on TikTok, sometimes there are prisoners that are, like, literally getting money from people. Yeah. And, you know, like, they have websites and apps where you can get and connect with people that are in jail. If you're a girl who does that.

You. You have to step out of the dating game.

Yeah.

Please understand this.

Okay. Marley Baby Said, got out of a relationship in December. Trying to get back to dating, but it's been tough getting out. Well, it's warming up now, honey. So I want you to focus on what are the things that bring you joy and start leaning into those things and getting out once or twice a week. Right. And when you go out, here's the gag. A lot of y' all are going out, but you're not talking to anybody. So your job is every time you go out, just talk to one person, say hi, and hopefully it's a guy girl, or a woman girl. I don't care what you get into, girl, but I just want you having conversations. Like I said in a recent video, men are not approaching you anymore. The approach rate is a third of what it used to be. So it means that you're going to have to start conversations if you want to have interactions.

If you don't feel like doing that, keep on doing what you're doing. But I want you to know that these men are thirsty for conversation. Now, am I saying walk across a room and talk to a guy? No. But if he's next to you, have a conversation. See what comes of it. Just start it. You don't have to drive it. Okay.

Okay. Aura said, hello. I'm starting a long distance relationship and the guy wants to meet me. How can I know if he is a provider? We are the same age. Well, he needs to come to you and you need to let him know that. And one of the things about long distance relationships that I say is, like, he. He has to come to see you within the first four to six weeks. If he's really serious. If he's not, then he's a pen pal. And pen pals are really cute in third grade. They're not cute now. So that's what I would say about that. I have, I have clients who there are men that are flying from Florida to New York for a first date within two to three weeks. So for those women that are thinking, oh my God, I can't. I don't think a guy would ever do that for me. I literally see it every week. So it's very possible. But you have to set a boundary and you have to share with him. Actually, I would feel more comfortable if you came to me.

If you. A lot of women were like, oh, I'll just come to him. He'll buy the ticket. Everything that's excess time, that's labor on your end, that you should not be doing, you are setting a precedent here. And because for the guys that try to fly you out, please understand that you're on his turf when that happens. Right? And you're going to be out of sorts a little bit because it's not your city. So you might not know how to get around. Right? You want to be in your home base just in case things go left and he needs to stay in a hotel room. And you should have two to three dates a day and see how things go. If things don't work out.

You home, you chilling, and you go from there. Don't go to somebody else's home turf, girl. It's like, you know, in high school, like, you would go to, like, an opposing team's field or basketball court, and it was like, home court advantage. You want to have the home court advantage. You hear me?

It's important, especially as a woman, because you want to feel safe in your interactions and you don't want to have that passive pressure that happens when a man pays for you.

Yeah.

Okay.

Megha said. Thoughts on sprinkle sprinkle well, Shara 7 and I, I think we are aligned in, like, 80% of what we do. I think that she's more focused on transactional relationships. I am more focused on, like.

More like deeper intimate relationships, right. Where there are emotions involved. So depending on where you are in your journey, that might be where you're at. I'm not about the transactions, but I am about. And where we do align is that a man has to invest in you. Not just financially, in my opinion, but also emotionally and intellectually. Right. So Baby Pope Jr. Said, what ages do your clients range from? I generally work with clients that are between the ages of 26 and 56. But my core is 30 and 40 year olds.

CJ said, how to reach back out to a situation that I'm missing. He double texted several messages.

I don't understand the question.

Mishi's world said, I'm a tan woman, but love, love, love your advice. My advice is for everyone. I just work. I specifically work with women of color and a lot of the work that we do is really, you know, centered in that culture. Right. Because it's a different lived experience. And I want to honor that because oftentimes that's not honored or centered.

Sarah said, are there any good dating apps? Yes. The best dating app in 2024 is you. You are the best dating app. You need to go and meet people outdoors.

I think that the first half of 2024, like my whole program has pivoted this year just based on where the apps are right now. I don't know if many of you saw, but even like there have been women that have been changing their race from black to something other white or Asian on hinge and they've been getting different and higher quality matches. These apps are not, are not for you right now. And what's happening is that they're getting called out right now. So they're doing a lot of shifting right now and I think that they're going to course correct closer to the summer and Q3. Okay.

Tabitha said, should cheating be overlooked if a man is a good provider and treats me well otherwise, I don't think so. Because cheating for me, men will cheat because they don't feel happy with themselves or their life. Right. And oftentimes cheating is like the first step. The second step is emotional and, or physical, physical abuse. And I don't want that for you. Right. His cheating is based on the fact that he feels disempowered and he feels inadequate. And so when he feels that way, he's going to start to take it out on you. And cheating is the first step of passively taking it out on you. You.

Lisa Renee said, thoughts on dating exclusively but not in a relationship? I don't do exclusively and I don't think you should either. It's. It's half ass.

I don't know how else to say it. If a guy isn't ready to commit to you within two to three months, full on commitment, then he shouldn't be with you.

Yeah, I think a lot of guys cop out because they're not ready for commitment.

And I think that you deserve more than That I get at least two to three women into relationships every week. And one of the things that I see is that these guys know. They know within one to two months if they want to be with you and they're not afraid to be committed. That's when you know it's your guy. When he says, oh, I just want to be exclusive with you. When you hear that, I want you to understand and believe that he's still making you audition for the girlfriend role. A lot of girls think, oh my God, we're exclusive. That's great. It's not it, girl. You still don't have the job, right? It's like, you know, like when you. They say, okay, girl, you got the job, but you're on a three month trial basis and they don't give you any insurance or nothing until you get through those three months. That's what exclusivity means. Don't do it. Get another job. Get another man who's going to give you not just the benefits on day one, but also going to give you the signing bonus.

You hear me?

Kahoku, thank you so much for the. For the love u to Shayla. Thank you so much for the heart me. Tiffany Marie said, what about men who say they want a woman to build with but have nothing? We don't build with men. Do you see these hands, honey? These are computer hands. These are not construction hands. These are not blue collar. These are white collar. This is white blouse, actually. Right. We don't build with men. So if a man wants to build with you.

He'S not your man. We get with men that are already built.

If you want to. It's like buying a house without windows or a roof or a door. Why would you buy real estate that is not done and think that you're going to be protected and safe in a house that has nothing to protect you?

No.

When a man says that he wants to build with you, I want you to take it as an insult.

And I want you to step away and you get to let him know, why don't you take some time to build for yourself? And once you've built something, let's have another conversation.

You get to say that.

Yeah.

Knock solo said been following your advice and they are working, girl. I know. I've been doing this for 14 years. It better freaking work.

You know what I'm saying? These girls always come to me like, oh, I can't believe it's working. That's why I get people into relationships every. Every week, honey.

And that's not me building myself up, girl. I'm just. I'm telling T. Honey.

Oh, my God. The girl said they're changing their race on Hinge now. Girl, It's. It's not gonna. Girl, Hinge is still unhinged. It's unhinged for the white girls, too. Don't give white face on Hinge, honey. Don't give white profile on Hinge.

It's not worth it.

Yeah. Alejandra said, cross con cross. I think you said you meant cross country dating. Yay or nay? Girl, Date everybody. Girl, there's technology. You get to FaceTime. Girl. There's flights. Girl. Date everybody. That's what I did, Honey. I was in California. Girl ON and I would move. I would have one profile in a home, my home city, and another profile in different places. Girl. One week I was in Barcelona. Another week I was in Berlin. Another week I was in Montreal. No shade, bitch. But now I'm in Montreal, married with three kids. Do it, girl. You never know. That's why there's a show called 90 Day Fiance.

Let technology work for you.

Your person might not be in your city, and that's okay.

Okay.

Tickness said, how do you feel about dating younger men? Well, most of my clients are dating men that are three to six years younger than they are. I actually think it's a great formula, especially for women of color. So I would say lean into that shit. Girl. I think many women have been programmed to be like, oh, he has to be older than me. A lot of these older guys are, like, stuck in their ways. Girl. It's giving mean and surly.

Get out.

Stop dating the older guys.

Vanessa said, what do I say when approaching a man in person? We don't approach. He has to be in your vicinity. We just start a conversation. I mean, you can say a variety of things. You can give him a compliment. You can ask him for help. You can ask him for a recommendation.

Right. I love that jacket. Where'd you get it from?

Or.

Oh, my God. Can you get me a glass of water? I am parched.

Or I never come here. What do you usually order?

Whatever it feels most comfortable for you. Do it.

Valoria said, what are your thoughts on speed dating? I think that speed dating is great practice. I think you should have no expectations when it comes to speed dating. And I think most of the time, you're probably gonna find other women. That should be your intention. Let's find other women that I can go out with, you know, to go onto the hunt and to meet guys. Because probability is you're gonna meet more women than men. That's been the experience of my clients and that's helped them find, like, girls to go out with to do their hunting. User628 said, thank you. You are amazing. You're welcome.

Just call me honey. Said. Is the bad wig theory true for black women to attract white men? It's not about the wig, it's really about the whole package. Yeah. I just think that people see the wig because everyone is obsessed with hair, even myself, even though I don't have any. Honey. Yeah. You'll realize that people that have different kinds of wigs, I'll be diplomatic about it. Also have different kinds of makeup and have different kinds of fashion. And when it comes to attracting not just white men, but any men, especially wealthy men, wealthy white men will be attracted to that because.

The normal shit bores them. Yeah. You are going to have to be fascinating. Right. And when you have the interesting wig and makeup and fast fashion, he's going to look at you and he's going to be like, that's someone that's interesting. That is someone that is entertaining. And I want to learn more about that person. That's why they approach and talk to bad wigs. Also, please realize, like no shade, but like when you look a mess.

And you're out and about, that is when people will approach you the most because their probability, the probability of rejection in their mind goes down lower. If you're dressed to the nines, you will rarely get approached.

Yeah. So that's part of what's happening with the quote unquote bad wig theory as well.

Hannah said, been on four dates. He barely texts me and doesn't call. The texts are not great. What does it mean? It means that if you were to be in a relationship with him, it's going to be miserable. Because you have to understand that being in a relationship means that you're not going to be with your partner. And 80 to 90% of the time, so if he doesn't text you, if he doesn't call you, then the bdb, the between date behavior is going to be horrible and you're going to be miserable. Right. Since you've been on four dates, this is the opportunity for you to just say, hey, this is what I would like to see more of. And then you're in observation mode for the next two or three weeks. And if it doesn't improve, we have to let him go.

VPS said, how can we work with you? Go to the link in my bio and book A consultation call. Yeah. And we'll see if it's a fit now and if it's not, that's fine too. But book a consultation call if you're ready to work with a professional dating coach. Yeah.

Don'T do it. If you want to just have a free session because your application will be denied.

Any tips for black women at PWI colleges? Yes.

Couple of things. Study abroad.

Preferably in Europe. And when you're abroad in Europe, have five boyfriends become fluid in that language. That will help you a lot. Also engage in other clubs besides the black club.

It starts to become incestuous and actually like you want to expand your horizons. Right. So that's one of the things that I always tell black women. So girl, girl, if you into Christianity, girl, be in that Christian club. Yeah. If you like Anime, girl, get into that Anime club. Honey, no shade.

I want it to be interest based more than anything else.

Okay. I want you to think of dating in this arena in the same way that you think about your classes.

I'll try this. I'll try this guy out for a semester and see what happens. Think of it as training. Think of it as knowledge acquisition.

Don't be serious about it because the probability that you will be with the person that you met in college is so low. It's kind of like that first job that you get out of college. 99% sure that you won't be in that same job three years from now.

Lisa said, have you gotten any Atlanta clients into relationship? I have. It just takes a little bit longer. It takes anywhere from around 12 months, which is almost double what it takes in other places. If you in California it's going to. In my program it's going to take a year to find your person. If you in Texas, it's going to take a year on average. If you're in Atlanta, it's going to take a year. If you're in Florida, it's going to take a year, which is almost twice as long as other parts of the country.

Okay.

Mel said, what if they want to be exclusive after day three? Inappropriate. He doesn't know you enough to go on to be exclusive. And again, we are working toward commitment and not exclusivity. Jasmine6572 thank you so much for the rose. Na thank you so much for the rose. Kari, thank you so much for the seven roses. Brian, thank you so much for the rose. Yeah.

I'm trying to see see what's going on here.

Forever and always. Kiki said, do you have A video on what to ask on dating apps. I don't. Because it doesn't matter.

Talk to these guys the same way that you're talking to your friends and family.

I think a lot of people think, oh my God, if I ask the right questions, then I'm going to protect myself. Girl, these men will lie in your face. It doesn't matter what questions you ask. Right? Just like, you know how, like, some people will have stories all made up while they're interviewing for a job. They'll have a story for why they have a gap in their employment history for six months. That's how they do in these first, you know, interactions. So I don't really put a lot of stock into what these guys are saying. I'm in observation mode of what they're doing. And I want you to be the same way. I want you to be very, like, observant. Not just of what they're saying and doing, but I want to be. I want you to be observant about how you're feeling when you're interacting with them. That's why, like, you're never going to hear me talk about red flags or green flags.

Shit doesn't matter. When you're talking about those flags, you're focused on what's happening outside of you. And my job as a dating coach is to help my clients access not just their feelings, but their intuition. Because please understand, your intuition will never lead you astray. Your mind will. This is why I work a lot with high achieving and smart, successful women. Because oftentimes their leading with their mind and their thoughts are keeping them like or keeping them stuck in dating. Right, because you'll use your mind to justify certain behaviors or conceptualize or excuse certain behaviors. Well, maybe he's doing that or maybe he's doing this. Or you will what I call. You know, some people say overthink. I say under feel right and, you know, confuse yourself. And when in that moment of confusion, you start to go with the flow because you don't know what the hell is going on because you haven't accessed what's. What you're feeling deep inside.

Dulce, thank you so much for the rose.

Lambo. Bunny said. Any advice if I have acne? Well, girl, I still have it. So I'm not the person to be giving you advice, honey. Go on, TikTok. All I know is that rose water has been giving me what I need. My snail mucin has been giving me what I need.

You know, tretinoin has been giving me what I need. Honey and a good moisturizer.

Megha said, how do you make him invest in you? You can't make a man do anything. That's the, that's the thing, right?

And the fact that you're asking this question, and by the way, I think a lot of women kind of think this way means that we're dating in a way that's not going to fully serve you. If he's not doing this from the get go, then he doesn't have the skills that it takes to be your partner. And your job is just to step away. Your job is not to make anyone do anything because if you're making people do things for you, at some point they'll resent you. And at some point when you stop making them do things, they won't do it. And then you're asked out. Right?

Jackie said, I just started online dating for the first time. Any advice? Have fun, girl. Don't take it personally. Think about it as gambling. Think about it as Vegas and you win some, you lose some, but most of the time you're going to lose, girl. No shade. Don't take it personally though, because that's part of the dating game.

Angie on site said, thoughts on holding back a little with sex, Bedroom activities as a girlfriend before you get the ring, that's the personal choice. I mean, I'm not going to tell you what to do with your body. I'm a dude, dude. Right? You have agency over your own body and you get to do what you want. Now, if it's values, I will tell you as a dating coach, if it's values based on great. If this is manipulation to get a ring, it will not work. It will not work because he'll just go and find someone else to have sex with.

And now you, now you with the guy who's cheating on the low.

And if it didn't start that way, to change up the game midway through, it's going to be confusing and you're going to lose credibility.

Right.

Let me see what else is going on here.

Okay.

Poison eggs at omg Mr. Is too smart. Thank you.

Kx. Misha. How to inspire his initiative and leadership qualities to come out again after he's started slacking. We can't do that. That doesn't work. It means that he doesn't have the consistency and dependability to be a great partner. When he slacks, he's out.

Here's the thing. There are no PIP programs in dating. We're not going to train him back up to the worker that he is Supposed to be. When he slacks, he's out, he's fired. Just like in consulting, they always, like, literally every year, they fire the. The lowest 20%.

So you. You need to do the same. Do you hear me?

Laura said, what do you do when they say they need space?

Girl, you give it to them. Girl, when they say space, I want you to create so much space that they're in space. You hear me? What it means, respectfully speaking, is they don't want to be with you anymore, and you need to find other people. You need to talk to other people. When they say that, just like, no problem. Thanks for letting me know. Best of luck. And then get on these apps, go outside, and have two to three dates that week.

Yeah.

Nas said. He said he can't take care of me, so we can't be together. I call it bs. Don't call it bs, Girl. We're gonna need to honor what these men are telling you. He's telling you he cannot provide for you. It doesn't matter whether it's BS or not. He is telling you what he can and cannot do. Honor that. Thanks for letting me know so I can find somebody that can. Yeah, it doesn't matter whether he has the ability to or whether he, like, doesn't want to. The result is the same.

Briana said, what if I want to date, but I'm still working through my own insecurities and pursuing my goals? Girl, do it both at the same time. Please understand. That's why I. In my programs, we do the deeper work and we date at the same time, because dating will bring up all of your triggers, and that gives you an opportunity to actually address them and heal them. Right? A lot of women think, oh, my God, I got to get my shit together before I can date. No, you kind of have to give half. You have to get half your shit together, and the other quarter of your shit, you'll get together while you're dating, and the last quarter, you'll get together while you're in a relationship.

Okay.

Coco Renee said, I love how you reflip it back to us. It's our responsibility to get the experience we desire. I say that because I want you all to understand that you have so much power in your own love lives, and sometimes we don't know.