Dating Q & A 04-24-24

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Hello, ladies. Happy hump day.

Happy hump, hump day.

What's the tea? What's really going on?

I am Kim say, give us a tea. That's why I'm here, girl. That's why I'm here. Buenos noches to you. Xoxo. Hi, Winter. Hello, Authentically Joy. I want to know who's getting humped on hump day.

That's what I want to know, honey. What's the tt?

Hi, Tia. Hi, Reina. Hey, Tan.

Hi, Ty. Tick three. Hey, find your Joy. Hi, Jordan. Brianna said. Hey, fairy Godbrother. Hey, girl. Hey, lovely. Hey, Krista. Hey, Lisa. Hello, ladies. What's really going on?

Patrice said, I love you. Thank you. I love the way you speak, girl. Well, then you love Valley girls. Because I'm a Valley girl, you know, glam. Tantan says, should I jump onto to talk the talk? I mean, do what you will, girl. You grown, you know. Oh, thank you so much for this hat. Y' all already acting a fool. Already acting out.

For those of you that don't know me, my name is Amar White. I'm a coach for black and brown women. They call me Coach Anmore. They also call me fairy Godbrother. So I'm here because I was supposed to be here last night, girl. But I'm trying to do this thing where.

I'm waking up early to work out, cuz, you know, this body, this emaciated tea that I've been giving, it's not working anymore. The 90s models, you know, the Prada models that were stick figures, that's not the look anymore. So I got to put some curvature here, honey. I got an email from Lizzo's people. They want me to do a brand deal, an influencer video for her, for her shapewear, honey.

But I got. I have to have shape first.

So anyway, so I'm trying to wake up early, I'm trying to work out a little bit, not do too much, you know, that to your girl. Anyway, yes, on hump day, we need to get humped, honey. So make it happen. All right, let me see what y' all are talking about. CTC said, unfortunately, not me, honey. Well, girl, you got to do what you got to do, you know? Oh, my God, the girls are making me gag. I'm seeing. Do you have a wife?

My God, girl.

Girl, do you have a life? That's what I want to know. Don't ask me if I have a wife, Al. Alexis said. Hey, amore. I missed you. Thank you. A diamond forever said, lmao. Someone tried and got denied, right? Exactly.

Brandy said, my guy. Hey, amore. Hey, girl. Good to see you all. BF and serious. Thank you so much for the hat and mustache. Someone said, girl, you barking up the wrong tree, honey. Right, Especially because I'm not a tree.

Honey. I'm a rose bush, honey, with thorns and all. Monica said, I've been taking your advice. Awesome. Amber said, hammer, hey, girl.

Brisa, you are helping me good. That's my intention. I want to help as many people as possible. Yeah, yeah. Brandi said, and we're not the girls trying to turn you out. They really are, girl. Today and yesterday, y' all can't have me. I'm. I'm married with children. So even if I were to come with you, not only would I be cheating on my man, but I'm also cheating on my kids.

What are y' all doing?

Come on now. Novi said taking your advice and found a good one. Awesome.

Tiff said, lmao. I know that's right. That was from white chicks. Hlock loan said, hey, fair godbrother, I'm not black or brown, but I'm single and trying to get a man. Girl, we're all doing it. Girl, we're all doing it.

Shy1long said, you give great advice. Setting minds right. Thank you, girl. Thank you. They really trying to turn me out. Turn in, turn out, turn yourself about. That's what they're saying to me, girl.

Likes to say, we missed you, love. Thank you.

Andrea said, should I call him first?

You must be new here.

Girl, when you think that you literally have to pretend like you have arthritis and you can't move your fingers.

Chef spark said, fairy godbrother, this white man is after me, and I'm like, girl, let him catch you, girl, let him catch you. Don't play Harriet Tubman with him, girl.

Girl, is there anything wrong with him? You guys, I'm gonna get kicked off. Girl, they're gonna kick me off. Girl.

I'm in a mood. I'm in a.

I'm in a mood. Someone said, pink meat, though not in the dark.

And in the dark, it's red, girl.

And y' all love red meat, honey.

Navi said, get caught.

Yeah, honey. With his red meat and your A1 sauce, girl, what's the problem?

What's really going on? Determined to live. Already on it tonight, right? And I am. So what, girl, what are you gonna do.

Girl? Girl asks, do you have a wife? Girl, I could ayata.

All that shimmer said you are you are in a mood tonight.

Girl. I had a good tennis lesson. You know, I am helping my girls out, you know, really doing that work, honey. Life is it.

Ms. Nikki said, Not a one sauce. I just passed out. I know. That's right. Niece said, and we're after dark going down tonight, right? And what?

All right, let me see what's going on. Someone said, I still can't believe they would think a wife.

It's insane.

B said he's a married woman of three. You got that right, girl. LJ said he is the wife. All right, now y' all getting too comfortable. And now it's starting to toe the line of homophobia.

Watch out. I know you, but you don't know me.

Okay? Not he is the wife. That's not gonna work. Over here.

Kristen said, my first live with you. I literally just finished watching your YouTube live video. Welcome, girl. Happy to have you.

Tia said she in here shooting her shot at you. Lmao. Wrong basket, right? Negative. Two points, girl. Honey, I'm trying to help you get a man.

But like I said, maybe they're thinking metaphorical wife. There is no such thing as a metaphorical wife, girl. You're giving her too many chances.

Hermosa said, can you do a video on dating while introverted?

I guess. What do you want to know? Just ask your question here.

Brantley said, is it okay to set a boundary of needing 48 hours notice before a date? Totally. Okay.

Valuna said, just came from Columbia. Saw nothing but passport bros. Girl, they're taking over. They're colonizing Colombia over there, girl.

Sanai said, questions to ask when first dating someone.

One thing that you all need to understand is that questions won't save you. I see all these dating coaches on here, and they're like, here are the questions to ask to make sure that he's safe. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Y' all know these men will lie in your face. They're gonna give that same energy as if they were interviewing for a job. So.

I'm always of the mindset that, like, you want to have similar conversations and talk about same subjects that you would talk about with your friends and family and see how they roll with that. Yeah, this is important.

N Said, talking to a guy that lives seven hours away. He wants me to meet halfway. Should I agree? No. No.

You're going to spend seven hours with somebody who you don't even know. Just let them know that you prefer for him to come to you and see what he does.

Love with. Denise Said, I just love your Advice. Thank you, girl.

Thank you. Oh, by the way, if there's anything that I say on here, tap the screen, double tap, triple tap the screen. Give me my like scrolls.

So that we can get this party started. Yeah.

If there's anything that I say that resonates with you, and if you want to learn a little bit more about what I do and if you want to work with me, definitely book a call with me. The link is in my bio. I also have a link to my podcast. I just did a an episode today all about the dating civil war that is happening right now.

So check that out. Subscribe to the podcast and yeah, that's that on that, honey. Okay, let me see what the girls are talking about. Okay. Taryn said, omg, you're my favorite. Thank you, girl. I appreciate it.

Okay. The girl said that they're crying that I'm already making them laugh.

Girl, this is, is what I I when I tell y', all, y' all need to talk to these non black men, honey. Y' all acting brand new. Just because they got a little, they're lacking a little bit of melanin, girl. Don't hold it against them. You're towing the racism line, girl, when you do that.

Tarla said you did a video on nicknames, but what does sweetie mean? Sweetie is like same as cutie, honey. Yeah. And if someone, if a man is calling you sweetie, please understand that, like, when I call a woman sweetie, it's because I'm being condescending.

Sweetie.

One Blue Jay said, that Civil War podcast was so good. Thank you, girl. I appreciate it.

There really is a dating civil war happening right now, ladies, and it is affecting the dating landscape. And I don't think a lot of people are really talking about it because I think that most of the, most of your dating coaches, they're not really doing like the deep down work, like doing the one on one sessions and understanding what it looks like. I'm someone who gets at least two to three women into relationships every week. And I know that it's actually, if you're dating right now, it's going to take you longer to find your person just based on the nature of how things are going. Right. Usually my clients would get their guys anywhere between six months and now it's nine months, plus or minus three months. Okay. I always used to say you're gonna have to have 100 conversations before you find your person. Right now it's looking closer to about 200. I kind of did the back of the envelope math based on Just some of the experiences that I've been seeing of Q1 of this year and Q4 of last year. What many of you might not know is that I was an undergrad statistics major. So I look at dating and relationships and love both qualitatively and quantitatively, just to give you a sense of what's happening in that realm.

Tori said, I wanted melanated kids. I'm already light skinned.

I don't know what to tell you, girl.

Lena said, should I reply to a dating app message that reads, hey.

Girl, what does this profile look like? Dm me his profile. Screenshot it, girl. It depends.

O Deloria said, anwar, tell the new girl she can't sit with us. Don't be a mean girl, girl.

Don't be a mean girl.

Teal said, she can't do pink. Why, girl? What did Nicki Minaj say? Pink Friday, honey. That's when we have the white men, honey, on Fridays.

F said, how do you stop being anxious? I think it's important to understand that anxiety comes from kind of focusing on the future. Depression is really aligned with focusing on the past. Right. So it's really about understanding and being very present in the moment and realizing that you can only control certain things in the future and to be in environments and situations where you can be more in control of things.

Okay. Corey said, I like this hump day mood. Anwar. Yes, honey. The hump day mood is about getting y' all humped.

Because no shade, girl. Some of y' all need it. And I'm talking to those abstinent girls, the celibate girls. No shade.

It's the jungle out there.

Yeah. Asha said, my pasta and lobster is tan. Love it, honey. Get into it. Someone said, we're here. I know, girl. Present. The celibate girls are here, honey. The abstinent girls are here.

Huh? Someone said, now why are you calling us up? Somebody's got to call something on y'. All.

Yeah. Someone said, how'd you know? Girl, I could smell it, girl. I could smell it. We're ready. Spring is sprung, honey. We're blooming. Someone said, present.

Yes. You know, here's the thing. We talk a lot of ish here, but we also have a lot of fun. We're all family here. And family. We, you know, we kiki, we roast each other. And if that is something that you cannot handle, I really do suggest that you leave. Because, honey, we. Girl, I'm gonna talk about you. I'm gonna talk about you because nobody else is talking about you. Yeah. No, here's the thing, you know, there's this 4B movement, but the celibate and abstinent girls, you know, they're giving 1B right now.

Yeah. And that's. Okay.

009 said, is it a red flag if trans women are following him? Please, someone answer. I'll answer, girl. It's not a red flag, but it is a blue, pink, and white flag.

Yes, honey, I said it. 1B now. What?

Yes, honey, that's no shade. Thank you, Lewinsky. I almost forgot my. I forgot the end. Of what? When I say something shady, then I usually say no shade. So. Yeah, girl, that's. That's no shade. That flag is no shade.

Yeah, honey, it's definitely a flag, honey. And it's blue and pink and white.

If you guys saw my video about the three different kinds of gay guys, girl, your man might be astray.

Okay.

I Love Princess Anwar is on one tonight. On what?

On what? Someone said, what's one B? Girl. So there are four B's, girl, in this movement, right? And I'm saying not one B color, girl. Somewhat. Girl, get your life, girl. Get your life. What I'm saying is that in this movement that is happening, there are a variety of different things. It's a South Korean movement where women are withholding a variety of things from marriage to intercourse to motherhood, to dating.

Yeah, okay. What are the questions, girl? What are the questions?

What's going on, honey? How can I help you?

Sandra said, opinion on dating blue collar men. I like them because I like. I like men that work. And you need a man that's going to work for you. That is the foundation of a great partner. That's why I don't. I don't deal with pretty boys because they don't work.

You know, there's a difference. Like they. They don't really work. So I like blue collar men. But you.

Just like anything. You're gonna have to evaluate. Yeah.

But they work. They work hard.

Stephanie said, can you make it work with a man who love bombs?

So here's what I want you to think about. I want you to pretend like you're in one of those countries that's being bombed right now. And I'm not going to name them. Do you think that you would be living right now?

Your answer is going to tell you how it's going to be in that current relationship that you're considering. Love bombs are real bombs.

Yeah.

Because the person that love bombs you is toxic and probably narcissistic. And what starts off beautiful is literally.

It'S like a, you know, Hiroshima bomb, girl. Radiation, tea, weird things growing up from you, girl. Like, it's a mess.

Let it go, let it go. Because it's a, it's about the extremes. It'll go from one side of the spectrum to the other and that's what makes it dangerous. In a more serious note, right? It's actually nothing to play with. It's very serious and you can put yourself in a lot of danger, danger if you stay with someone that is going to love bomb you.

Don't do it, girl. Just say no, as they say.

Taylor said, Amar, why is there such a shift in dating this year compared to last year? Dating always changes in an election year. Also, we've been in a depression. Also there's a new round of layoffs that have been happening. Employment is being challenged right now as well. Plus the research is saying that men are becoming more conservative and women are becoming more liberal. And when the economy is strained, right, there's going to be such a scarcity mindset that it's going to be like, you know, dog eat dog world. And so men are blaming women, women are blaming men. Women are, are the reasons why they're not thriving and achieving the goals that they want to.

Yeah.

Kristen Said, not sure if you saw my message earlier. I meet men in public easily, but I look 10 years younger so I track young guys. Is this a problem? Not at all, girl. Especially not on hump day hunting. Let those young guys, let them do what they do best.

Run around in their pens, honey, their play pins.

Have fun, have fun.

Just call me. Kiwi Said do you think black women have more success getting married outside of their, right, their race?

No, I mean, I think that.

I think that it's, for me, it's not about race. I just think that black women should date everybody and see who treats them the best. Two thirds of my clients are getting with black men. The other third are with non black men. So it's not like they're not great black men out there. I just think that they're harder to find and you're going to have to have a dating strategy to find them. Especially in this climate, girl.

You know, all this climate change, girl, it's the same with dating.

So it's not about if there's one success more than the other. I want us to have an abundance mindset when it comes to dating. So that means date everybody and see who treats you the best. Very Hunger Games girl. Let the best person win.

N Said does the late night buzzing Count for hump day.

Are you talking about being on Bumble? Are you talking about something else?

And you are wild for asking that on the Internet, girl. I'm going to screenshot it and put it in my stories, girl.

Not late night buzzing girl. I'm calling you a bumblebee, girl.

Lola said, advice for how to date as a late bloomer.

I think you're. As a late bloom. I don't really like that term late bloomer. I think that it's important for you right now. You just want to get experience. One of the biggest issues that I see is that a lot of people will swipe online for their husband instead of swiping to D. So if I could give you one piece of advice, it would be swipe to date. Swipe to have phone dates and physical dates just to get the experience under your belt. You'll be more confident once you have that experience and you'll. You will have played catch up. Yeah.

S said, he's white. I'm 30, he's 21, super mature, masked, consistent and healthy, which has made me insecure.

What's your question, girl? What's your question?

Chesney said, am where you need your own reality show. You'd be fantastic. I'd watch it religiously. Girl, this is my reality show. You're seeing it right here and right now.

What are your thoughts on celibacy? I think everyone has their own journey on a more serious note. And if that works for you, great. I think that.

I think people are using it as a boundary, right? Like to be able to say that versus saying.

Hey.

The thing that I want to make sure that people are doing is that they're doing it from a very founded place versus.

Using it as a way to strategize with men, right? By telling them, oh, I'm celibate. I'm celibate. And it's a way to figure out if a guy is serious or not. I say this because I think sexuality and intimacy are very important things in a relationship and dating. So I just want to make sure that when people are doing that, that they're doing it from a grounded place and not.

Because they're playing games. And unfortunately, I've seen and heard about that a lot. Not saying that anyone in here is doing that, but I just think that that's. I think that's really important.

China said, have you dated non black men? What were your experiences? Girl? I lived in Germany, I lived in Italy. I live in French Canada now. I'm married to a non Black man. I have a lot of experience. Yeah.

And they're crazy.

What about Indian men?

They're. They're tricky. I don't. A lot of Indian families will not accept you. You know, they have a cast system over there. Girl, you see my. My skin tone, Girl, I'm like cast number five. Girl. They're not even talking to me. So you, you. I would say you would want more of a. A westernized Indian man.

Mimi said, would you recommend dating older or younger? Right now, my clients are getting more success. Younger, three to six years younger.

Medusa said, is meeting their parents any indicator of seriousness? Well, I think it depends on the culture. Yeah, it depends. And it just depends.

Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

Ken Beno said, dating outside of race but attracting emotionally unavailable men. Any advice? Well, I think most people that are single out there are probably going to be emotionally unavailable. So I, I just want to offer that. I don't necessarily know if you're attracting emotionally unavailable men. I just think that the majority of the market is that. So it's important to kind of make that distinction, number one. Number two, what you can do is make sure that you are being emotionally available and being vulnerable so that you will repel those men that are emotionally unavailable.

Because they won't know what to do with all of that vulnerability and all of those emotions. So that's what I would recommend for you. Okay.

Okay. What. What do you all got from me, girl? What are the questions? Honey? Chita, thank you so much for the Seven Roses, girl.

Natural Mystique said, lovely to see you and more. Love you. Thank you, girl. I appreciate it. Zoe, thank you so much for the Ten Roses.

Okay, let me see what I'm. What I'm up to.

TC said, someone earlier asked about truck drivers. Red, red, or green flag.

Girl. No flag.

License plate, girl. In another state, with another family.

True. Habisha said, he keeps calling me cute. Does he really not find me attractive?

I think that when a man calls you cute, it's like he's patting your. Your head. You're cute.

So let me ask you this. When you call a man adorable.

Is that a good thing.

Or not a good thing? Does he have a chance with you when you call him adorable? Because it's kind of the same thing.

Brianna said, bro, you need a show, girl. I am not your brother. Tori said, I call him in Q all the time when I find something daring. I know, but I didn't use the word cute. I used the word adorable. Because him calling you cute is the equivalent of you calling a man adorable.

And Brianna, thank you so much for the Six Roses, girl.

Krisha said, should he ask to be my boyfriend or should we go right into a relationship? You should definitely have a conversation. One of the things that I teach my clients is how to have that kind of commitment conversation.

It's really, really.

Ouch. Someone said, what are the signs of a provider, man? Can we find them? I just did a video about this, so please check my videos.

Deloria said, you're on one tonight. I love it. Thank you, girl.

Oh, my God, my arm hurts, girl. I had a tennis practice today.

Oh, my God. So many, y'. All. Thank you so much for all of these comments.

Brandy said, man, I love amore. That silence was loud.

Coco said, love your advice for a God brother. Recently started dating again and you're spot on every time. Thank you, girl. I hope so. I've been doing this work for 14 years. I better be spot on, honey. Yeah.

Cece said, what are your thoughts on coffee dates? I love them. Please go to a coffee date. Please go to drinks. Do not do some fancy schmancy dinner. Please.

Wait till after that first date to figure out if you even like him and want to get to know more about him before having more involved dates.

Okay.

If said, I'm celibate because I hate them right now. Okay, girl, but why does she have to suffer down there?

Life sex says, wow. Germany. Hello.