Dating Q&A - 05-17-25

Alrighty. Hello. Hello. Hello, everyone. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I hope everyone is doing well on this Saturday morning.

You know, sometimes I come on the weekend because, you know, brunch is in, the tea is in. Who has their mimosas in hand? I want to know. I want to know what the tea is. I want to know what you all are getting into. I want to make sure that we're doing the work. Yeah.

For those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar White. Coach Anwar, or as many people call me, the fairy Godbrother of dating. I'm so happy that I am able to come with you today and chat with you and to level up your love life at the end of the day because I know it's really hard out there. I know that dating is the hardest that it's ever been.

So I'm here, if this is your first time in the Q and A, to answer any and all of your questions about love, dating, relationships and men or women. We are very open minded here and I'm going to give you some answers. Yeah. But before we do that.

Let'S put some music on. Yeah, let's get that. Let's get the party started. Who knows a little bit about this?

Yes, honey. I needed to wake it up, honey. I'll put it. I'm put it in the background, honey, because that's the vibe. I'm getting.

People cracking up about my chair noise, girl. It's creaky because I got a little bit of. I got a little bit back there, honey. So I've been away for a couple of weeks, girl. I've been healing. First of all, I've been really busy. Based on all of the viral things that have been happening, girl, my business has increased 20 to 30%. It has been cruise A. But also literally last week I was in Istanbul, Turkey and I had a hair transplant. Yes, Sumo, do you see this? It's like scabbing now, but like all of this is like implants, girl. Implant tea. You see, honey, I am getting ready for my TV show. I have a meeting with Universal soon. So. Yes, honey, we're getting it all together. The hairline is together and because before, girl, my hair was going all the way back there, it was giving you.

Yeah. So people are saying, does it hurt, girl? The anesthesia hurt like hell. And I thought I was like a thug because, you know, I had this dental work done.

So I wanted to give you that tea. And that's why I've been away and that's why I haven't been able to, like, you know, give my amazing social media videos. But yes, honey, we're getting it together for the TV show. Heather said that that hair is going to be tea for Christmas. That's. Girl, that's when we're going to be filming, girl. So that's why I have been away. People on IG say they're not able to hear. I'm so sorry to understand why that's happening.

But yeah, so that's. That's the T. That's what's going on. Does it hurt right now? No, it's just a level of discomfort because it's like scabs, you know, it's scabbing to heal.

So, yeah, that's what the tea is.

They said the net donor hair. Where did it come from, girl? Came from the back of my head. Yeah. No, girl, I got a lot going on. I got this TV show that's happening.

That will probably happen in the. In the very near future. Someone said, don't scratch. I won't scratch. And then, girl, I have my agent. Girl, we just sent my book proposal out to 30 different publishers.

Girl, why did I get emails yesterday from a friend of mine, former client, who's been in the publishing industry for 10 to 20 years, and she sent me an email saying, girl, the publishing industry is a flutter about your proposal. One of the publishers came to me and said, this is a million dollar proposal, girl, we're talking a million dollar book deal here. Do you hear me? And please understand, we put in all the tea in there for y'. All. It is going to be a dating book for black women. Girl, I'm. I'm spilling everything in there. Absolutely everything. So, honey, the girls are. The publishing girls are gagging.

Gagging. Honey. Yes, honey.

Actually, not this. This.

Right?

Yes, honey, get into it. Someone said, what's wrong with his head? So nothing's wrong with my head. I've just had a hair transplant. So that's the tea. Honey. Honey, we're getting ready for the. The next level of ourselves, so I'm sharing all of this with you because all of this is next level for me. Right? And part of this work as you are thinking about your dating life and is actually getting you to your next level.

What is your next level? What is it that you're going to need to do to get to your next level? Next level. Put it in the chat. I want to know right now, what do you have to do? This is why I'm sharing all of these things so that you understand. Honey, I'M going next level, and I need y' all to go next level as well.

What's. What's next level? What's next level? What is the thing that you're gonna have to do?

Someone said letting go of my type self. Love. Lose 50 pounds more. Healing.

Movement. Start posting on social media.

Let go, let God. Getting out more, mingle more. Buy a new home, lose 30 pounds. What else? Letting my walls down.

Detach. Getting back in shape. Move out of the city. Stop being a pessimist. Yeah, don't do that, girl. Work out. That's the other thing I was doing. I started working out a month ago. Right. Approaching more men. Okay, well, okay, okay. Now you're going crazy, girl. You going crazy now. No, no, we're not going to do that. Buy a home, mingle, move locations, graduate. Be stricter. Self care. I love this.

Let go of external criticism.

Hundred percent. So your job this summer is to make it happen.

A lot of this stuff is dating specific. So you can go to the link in my bio book, a consultation call, and we can work with you to get that happening. But the days are gone. Where we're going to talk about it. We're going to be about it. This is about activation energy.

Activation energy. Because here's the thing. To be successful in dating, you are going to have to create it. You can't just talk about it.

You're gonna have to create your life and your love life. So starting at your life is going to be everything.

Yeah. Someone said they can't believe that I'm playing Kaya in the background. Girl. Her neck and her back.

She's activating. She's activating.

Yeah, same. That's why I'm. Girl, usually I'm on my neo soul tip. No, girl, I'm on my dirty girls podcast playlist, honey. Because those girls are activating. Let the situationship go.

Your neck, your back, your goals. Just like that.

Yes. Someone said my neck, my knee. Girl, go to the doctor.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right, let me see. Let me make sure we're mixing here.

Girl, I don't know how to do this thing. Girl. Computer tea. What is all of this?

Okay, we'll leave it as is. Okay.

Jenny said coach hair is looking fire Girl, hair transplant. I'm activating. I'm activating. I'm activating for my TV show. What are you activating for? What are you getting ready for? What's the next step for you? And how are you getting ready for it?

Yeah.

100%, Rosetta. The good girls don't like the bad girls because the bad girls are the ones that are making it happen.

Honey, this song by Kaya been a bad girl. Catch it.

Bad girl, bad girl era Activate. Activate. Activate. That is the word. That is the word for the summer. Do you hear me? We're activating.

All right.

Oh, no. Naomi and Morris said. My friends told me I am neurospicy per your feedback.

Activate. Activate the neuro spiciness girl. Go from here to there to here to there, girl. Do it. If you're neuro spicy and you like to do this and that, this and that. Do that with men. Get seven men so that when you lose, when you lose interest, girl, go to the next one. Activate. Whatever you got going on, reactivate it here. Okay? All right.

Okay. So I hope that that's helpful for you because that's what we're giving right now. That's what we have to give. Too many of you are acting like Christian school girls, waiting, thinking that, like, if you do everything really good, you're gonna go to heaven. Girl, if you do everything good in dating, you're gonna go to hell. The bad girls, the girls who embrace the totality of who they are, the dark and the light parts of themselves, they're the ones that go to dating. Heaven?

Yeah.

Someone said there's no heaven. Well, on this earth, girl, because it's hell. So.

So I want to just offer that to you. If you're a good girl and dating, you go into hell. I should have did this. I should have did this live on Sunday, girl. Because it's a word. And for those that are getting it, they understand. What do I mean? Jaslyn said. Can you elaborate? In dating, it's not when you're a good girl, you are. You're gonna be acting like everybody's wife and you're gonna be giving too much to people.

And then you're gonna get used and taken advantage of. And because you're giving so much, you're going to be so invested in each and everybody that you are talking to. And ultimately most guys are not going to be your person.

Okay?

You're nobody's wife.

You're nobody's girlfriend. You're just dating.

And so a lot of people, they audition for men.

And they're like, oh my God, if I play like the perfect woman and I say the perfect thing and I look the perfect part and I have my. I have my hair, presto perm. I have the perfect bust down weave, right, that he's gonna wipe me.

Just like, if I go to Bible study and I pray and I read the Bible every day. And I don't Dr. And I don't have sex that I'm gonna go to heaven.

It's the same thing.

And I'm not shading you.

But what I am saying is we gotta do it differently.

We gotta detach from what we think the ultimate result is going to be and live in the here and now and just have fun.

Okay?

That's how you're going to shift your dating reality.

Someone said sometimes men can tell you're performing. They understand often when. When you're performing.

That's why.

If you know a girl that always gets screwed by guys or you know that girl that everything happens to her.

She is attracting that. Men are very intuitive. Predators know exactly who they're going to. Who they're going to hone in on.

And they're going to hone in on those good girls, those nice girls.

Because they know.

You don't know left from right.

They know that they'll be able to control you because perhaps your lack of experience and because you want this so bad that you will compromise and bend over backwards for a desired result.

What I am asking you to do is f. The result.

Focus on the here and now. And have fun. And don't get. Don't. Don't flip out about each and every one of these guys.

That's why I always say you got to be Olympic dating. You gotta have a gold, a silver, and a bronze medalist.

Just call me Shan said, men don't like nice girls. They use them. No, men like nice girls. They just don't love them.

Let me just say something really quickly.

Because I think that this is very important, and I think most of you already know this, that most men don't like women.

Most men. Men don't like women. They're attracted to them, but they don't necessarily like them. And unfortunately, most of us are actually very used to that.

Because.

Most of our parents.

Didn'T like us, but they loved us.

I think I've said too much.

I think I've said too much.

They loved us, but they didn't like us.

And unfortunately, because that is your bonding pattern, you will be. You will continuously be attracted to the men that don't like you.

I'm sorry.

But when your mom or dad comes home from work, then they start yelling at you.

That's not like.

They work for you. They give you, you know, food. They give you the. They give you the.

The place to sleep in. That's love.

But did they hang out with you for no reason? Did they. Did they talk to you when you know and just say, hey, girl, what's going on? How are things going? Hey, let's talk about your friends that are happening at school. Like, what boys do you like what's going on?

Pretty sure you didn't have that. And I'm sharing this with you because if you don't have that, that's going to be your benchmark. That's going to be your familiar. So when a guy doesn't do that, you're going to be like, okay, this is familiar. He's not really asking me about what's going on with me. He's just doing things for me. And that's enough because that's what my parents did.

Yeah, when your parents say, I'm not your little friend, well, that really sucks because guess what? I need a friend.

That's part of partnership, intimate partnership.

So part of this work and, you know, part of the work that we do in my program is really breaking down these parental relationships and breaking patterns that you are bringing into your romantic and dating life and breaking them.

Cutting them off.

Yeah.

Keep. People keep on talking about my hair. So this is not hair. These are all implants, by the way. They implanted the new hair in and it's going to be growing soon. I went to Turkey last. I was in Turkey last weekend getting this done. So now it's all scabbed up. So I just want to let you all know, people are saying it's crisp. Y' all just used to the bald me.

You know how people keep on saying, oh, you snatching my edges, honey, I got your edges and I put them on my head. Yeah. But this is really important, right? Because I think a lot of people don't understand what dating, coaching is all about. It is about that.

Yeah.

Very important. We're going to have to break patterns, generational patterns and curses.

Okay?

Yeah.

So get into it.

Get into the fact that you deserve to be not just loved, but liked. Do you hear me?

And part of the. Part of.

Learning how to be liked and understanding that is actually.

Being the bad girl.

Because when you're the bad girl.

You will understand who actually really likes you and who doesn't.

Who is really likes you and who's trying to use you.

Someone said you think it's okay to separate yourself from your toxic parents. I think it's necessary if you go into actualize in this. In this world.

Yeah.

Who's ready to be the bad girl? Give me a hashtag bad girl. In the chat.

I can't really flip the way that I usually do, so I'll just do like this.

Okay. I didn't say baddie. Ellie, I'm gonna kick you out because you're not paying attention and you're not following the rules. I said hashtag badgirl. Follow directions. And for my island gals, Ray Anisia Badgal. No, I didn't ask for that.

Yes. Bad girls.

Azalea banks. Bad girl.

It's about that bad girl.

You hear me? Yes. Bad girls. I'm ready. Are y' all ready? Okay.

Someone says she's a problematic girl.

She does, Sol. She does create a lot of problems. She's very inconvenient for a lot of people.

But not for her people.

Not for her people.

Yeah.

Okay.

Now that I've gotten that out of my system, that we've talked about being a bad girl instead of a good girl, that we've talked about the difference between being liked and being loved. Now I can get to your questions.

Now I can understand. I want to know what questions you have about dating, love, relationships and men. Yeah.

Let me. While we're getting those questions all situated, let me make sure that I got this on mix.

All.

Mixed. Okay, hold on one second.

Let's do some Mia. She's a bad girl too.

Keep. Everyone keeps on asking about being a bad girl. I'm going to do a video about this. Okay, ladies? So that we can really, really hone in on the bad girl stuff. Cuz I think that this is like a subject that needs to be talked about with a little bit more.

Think Serena. Serena was a bad girl for Cordell.

Yeah. Okay.

Let me see. How do you get a guy to commit? You don't get him to commit. That's not your job.

So if he hasn't committed within two to three months, he's not your person and you need to drop him.

Point blank, period.

Again. Do you want to be liked or used?

If he likes you, he will commit to you.

And if he has a relationship skills to do so.

If you are in a real. If you are talking to someone, you've been talking to them for more than three months, you're in a situationship and I want you to understand that A situationship is abuse.

Someone said, should we mirror behavior? No.

Because the mirror is broken.

If he's here and you're here, why would you stoop down to someone's level? You just be here. And if he can't meet you where you are, he's out.

Don'T match anyone's energy except for the energy of your highest self.

Please.

Like.

You want to stoop down to someone's level.

Girl, no, Shade, don't do that. That's not you. Yeah.

No, we don't do that. And that is. So this is the thing. I want to talk about this because this is very important. A lot of us, y' all trying to prove something he's doing. You're here and he's here. When you go down to his level, you're trying to prove to him that you can't beat me, that I. I get. I. I'm in control here.

That's the masculine. You in competition for how. How less of a shit you can give.

Girl, y'. All, Y' all playing Price wars like Walmart.

You're a mess. Stay there.

And just step away. That's the feminine, energetic approach here.

Stop trying to prove things to men.

Please.

I think y' all are going to get my blood pressure up and I'm too young for that.

Yeah, okay, let's. Let's talk. Let's. Let's go. Another bad girl.

Nikki.

Roman. Roman.

Okay.

Let me see what else y' all are talking about.

Let me just.

Hard to date these days. I know, girl, I know.

Oops. Let me just post. Put my phone together real quick, honey, because.

Honey, I don't want. The saddest thing that you can do.

Is run out of battery on your phone. Like, are you a professional or are you not?

We're too old to be doing this.

So I'm not gonna let that happen. Especially on a live with thousands of people on.

Okay, now that I got that together.

Okay.

Yeah.

Let me see, let me see, let me see what the questions are. And thank you all so much for the finger hearts and all of that. The 31,000 likes. If there's anything that I'm saying in here, in this live that resonates with you, definitely tap, double tap, triple tap the screen so we can get all of that in there.

How can we become a bad girl after being a good girl with a man? Lots of boundaries.

Okay? So if you let a man just call you whenever, whenever. This is in the courtship. This is not in a relationship. The way that you become a bad girl is letting him know. Actually, I would prefer scheduled calls.

I'm available at 7 tonight or 12 tomorrow.

See how I'm telling this man what to do instead of just being.

You don't want to be a 24. 77 11.

Yeah.

Yeah. Don't be 7:11.

Someone said, that's me. Yeah. You know why? Because a lot of us are 24, seven, you know, seven elevens for our parents. If your mom calls you and you drop everything that you're doing for her, even if you have things to do, and some of you are going to hate me for saying this, but I'm going to tell you that's a problem. It's a problem when you drop everything for. For someone if you have a mother for her, even if you have things to do. And some of you are gonna hate me for saying this, but I'm gonna tell you that's a problem. It's a problem when you drop everything for someone. If you have a mother that calls you incessantly two, three, four, five times that calls you incessantly two, three, four, five times until she. Until you pick up. No Shade. But that's a problem. And she's programming you to drop everything that you're doing.

To see her.

Girl, if you read the transcripts of the Cassie and Diddy situation.

That'S exactly what he would do to her. He would call her 3, 4, 8, 9, 11 times until she picked up.

So please understand that if that is a normal interaction between you and your parents, it's a wrong one.

Inappropriate.

Yeah.

So.

We'Re not going to be available for men like that.

Let's put some more Trina in here. The baddest for another bad girl. Let's activate bad girl.

Activate that girl.

Honey. No Shade. Girl. Trina got me through college.

Okay, bye. Judy said. And where my boyfriend gave me the silent treatment for expressing my feelings. I broke it off 100. Great job.

He loved you. He didn't like you. No Shade.

MPK said. When you be going live for real, Because I be needing this. First of all, girls, we need to take. No, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. Thank you so much for that, girl. I appreciate it.

Love Sushi Said. Why are DL men violent? Because they feel they are. They are not in control. They don't have any control of who they are. And so they are always on the defensive mode. And for them to feel like they are in control of their lives because they're never able to be their true selves, they will oftentimes be violent toward other people to gain a sense of control.

So anytime you see men that are randomly fighting for no reason.

Like why are we overly violent here?

I know a lot of you and this is like no Shade. A lot of you are turned on by that. Turned on by Men that pump up their chest and do all of that.

That'S not husband behavior.

If a man does that, I need you all to understand that he doesn't have anything to lose.

Men that have millions, men that have houses, men that have careers, men that have reputations would never get into a fight, would never even put themselves in a position to do so.

But I know that half y' all in here love that. Oh, my God. He's protecting me. That's my man. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

No.

No.

You have no control. You have no regulation.

Violent men are never millionaire men.

Now, they might have other people create their violence. Okay.

Get another bad girl in here. Maybe foxy.

Okay.

Someone said, what about Diddy? Honey, Diddy has no money. Not now, because he lost it.

Yeah, Diddy was in debt for $200 million, girl. Catch that.

No.

No.

You have no control. You have no regulation.

Violent men are never millionaire men.

Okay, My Mona se coco. Je voulais savoir. C' est que tu ponce de Colombian. Colombian Ango.

Coup.

Colombians have. Now they might have other people create their violence. Okay, let's get another. Let's get another bad girl in here. Maybe Foxy.

Big old things, girl. Big old things. That's why they spell Columbia with an O, because that's how they're gonna leave you.

They lie. They. They withhold the truth. They lie by omission.

But, yeah, love Sushi said. Wow, I didn't know you speak French. Girl, I speak six languages, and I can flirt in 13. Okay.

Someone said, what about Diddy? Honey, Diddy has no money. Not now, because he lost it.

Yeah, Diddy was in debt for $200 million, girl. Catch that.

Okay.

Get you a dating coach that knows how to do it all around the world. Oh. Oh.

Come on. Come on.

Okay.

Okay.

Colombian Angol.

Coup.

Colombians have. Let me see what else we got going on. Do you need hobby picks for your dating profile? Even if you don't have hobbies, girl, get a hobby. No, big old things, girl. Big old things. That's why they spell Columbia with an O, because that's how they're going to leave you.

They lie. That's boring.

That's boring.

Part of. And this is an important part of dating. You got to have a life to share with somebody if you are going to date. Well, if you work and go home and that's it, and all you're talking about is the new show on Netflix, it's not enough.

They. They withhold the truth. They lie by omission.

But yeah. Love Sushi said. Wow. Didn't know. Girl book club. You speak French. Girl, I speak six languages and I can flirt in 13 of them. Get you a dating coach that knows how to do it all around the world.

Workout.

Pottery. I don't care.

Get a hobby. You're gonna have to be a well rounded individual. People that don't have hobbies will get with other people that don't have hobbies. And what will happen is when you don't have anything going on in your life, you will over and. Oh.

Come on. Come on.

Okay.

Okay. Rest in someone and make that other person. Let me see what else we got going on. Do you need hobby pics for your dating profile? Even if you don't have hobbies, Girl. Get a hobby. No sin. You're everything because you have nothing else.

You will transfer all of the energy that you are putting into work. Which no shade is way too much. And you will put it on to your person and that's going to turn him off more than anything else.

So if you are that girl who. That's boring.

That's boring.

Part of. And this is an important part of dating. You gotta have a life to share with somebody if you are going to date. Well, if you work and go home and that's it. Is no shade boring and has no hobbies. You probably won't have a relationship that will last longer than six months. If you do get into a relationship.

Yeah honey. Pickleball. Get into it. Get you a. Get you a 55 year old rich pickleball expert. Honey. Ow. Ow. In this recession and all you're talking about is the new show on Netflix. It's not enough.

Girl. Book club. I'm gonna dip into that. Dip into his 401k. Honey. Get into that Medicaid girl. Before. Before they take it all out. Honey.

Workout.

Pottery. I don't care.

Get a hobby.

You're gonna have to be a well rounded individual.

Yes, girl. Get into it. Honey. Honey, we. We just surviving girl. And this recession, people that don't have hobbies will get with other people that don't have hobbies. And what will happen is when you don't have anything going on in your life, you will over invest in someone and make that other person. Girl, I'm trying to tell you. Okay, now we got Ms. Lil Kim. Honey. Big mama thing.

You're everything. Because you have nothing else.

You will transfer all of the energy. Get that pension. Honey.

Okay.

That you're putting into work. Which no shade is.

Someone asked me how do you detach? I literally did a whole podcast episode about detachment and dating. So definitely check that out way too much and you will put it on to your person and that's going to turn him off more than anything else.

So if you are that girl who the name of my podcast is called the getyourguy coaching podcast. So is no shade boring and has no hobbies, you probably won't have a relationship that will last longer than six months. Catch it.

And another one. And another one. And.

Tick3 said your podcast is such a game changer. Thank you so much. Thank you. So Rosetta said the podcast is so good. Thank you. Girl. If you do get into a relationship.

Girl, I just give. I just give. I just, you know, I try to make sure that my free stuff is better than anybody's paid stuff because.

Yeah, honey, pickleball, get into it. Get you a. Get you a 55 year old rich pickleball expert, honey. Ow. Ow. And this recession. Hey stuff is it.

MK said Anwar are guys that make you their whole world smart safe. No.

No, you shouldn't be there. Oh, I'm going to dip into that. Dip into his 401k honey. Get into that Medicaid, girl before. Before they take it all out, honey.

Only thing you should not be their only.

Yes girl. Get into it, honey. Honey, we. We just surviving, girl. And this was such a thing. A way that a man self actualizes is through.

Protection provision, but also him, his purpose and his career. We've got to see both. We've got to see both. Yeah. Okay, so what did we learn? Get a life. Marcel, what's going on with your hair? So I just had a hair transplant, so. Girl, I'm trying to tell you. Okay, now we got Ms. Lil Kim. Honey, big mama thing.

This is. These are all like scabs from my implants. Okay, catch up, girl. You late to the class, you got a demerit, you go to detention. Get that pension, honey.

Okay.

Okay. Kennedy said as a tall black woman, 6:2. Dating is so hard, girl. Date them all.

Here's how I think about it. If he can pick you up, he's good. He's good in my book.

Someone asked me how do you detach? I literally did a whole podcast episode about detachment and dating. So definitely check that out. The name of my podcast is called the get your guy coaching podcast. So.

Like catch it.

And another one and another one. And many of us, especially if you're a black or brown woman, you're trippin because you want a man to Be bigger than you because you want to be feminine. And that's not a man's job to make you feel feminine. That's your job to come from the gates in your feminine way.

Yeah, honey. Six, two. Put some heels on. Stunt on those mofos, girl. But Tix Reese said your podcast is such a game changer. Thank you so much. Thank you. So Rosetta said, the podcast is so good. Thank you. Girl. Which girl? I just give. I just give. I just, you know, I try to make sure that my free stuff is better than anybody's paid stuff because my paid stuff is. It you're doing is you're going to Six Flags and going on all the dangerous rides that I have a tall expectation or rule. Girl. Go to Disneyland. Girl. Ride all the rides.

No shade, girl. But a small world. After all, that ride's really fun.

MK Said, Anwar, are guys that make you their whole world safe? No.

No. You shouldn't be their only thing. You should not be their.

Nadine said, when I watch Pop the Balloon, all the ladies turn down men because of height.

Yeah. It's unfortunate, but I understand it. When you are a black woman, a brown woman in this world and everybody is coming at you, you don't feel safe. And so in your head, what you're thinking.

A way that a man self actualizes is through.

Protection provision is let me find a partner that is going to but also him, his purpose and his career. We've got to see both. We've got to see both. Yeah. Okay. To allow me to feel safe. This is a safety issue. It has nothing to do with height. But a lot of women make it mean height and it's not.

So I want to offer that to anyone that needs to hear it. Someone said, where did your hair come from, girl? Turkey. Istanbul. Meerhaba.

Okay, so what did we learn? Get a life. Marc said, what's going on with your hair? So I just had a hair transplant. So this is. These are all like scabs from my implants. Okay, catch up. Girl. You late to the class, you got a demerit, you go to detention.

Okay. Kennedy said, as a tall black woman. 6 2. Dating is so hard, girl. Date them all. Let's do some more different little Kim.

More bad girls. Eve.

Yes.

Here's how I think about it. If he can pick you up, he's good. He's good. In my book.

Like many of us, especially if you're a black or brown woman, you're trippin because you want a man to be bigger.

Yes, ma'. Am, yes, ma'. Am.

Yes. Honey, we gotta. This whole dating thing has to be fun. If it's not fun, like, what are we doing within you? Because you want to be feminine and y' all gagging on my shoulders and on my arms. Honey, you're gay.

Stop. Like, I'm married. That's not a man's job to make you feel feminine. That's your job to come from the gates in your feminine way.

Yeah, honey. Six, two. Put some heels and stunt on those mofos, girl. But married. Ice Married with children. Like, what are you doing?

Like, girl, it's the summertime. Keep it in your pants. Cross your legs. What are you doing?

You're doing is you're going to Six Flags and going on all the dangerous rides that have a tall expectation or rule. Girl, go to Disneyland. Girl. Ride all the rides. No shade, girl. But a small world after all, that ride's really fun.

Honey. Yes. Someone said, I know you're fun to go out with. So I'm going to LA next weekend to visit with all of my California clients. Gonna be a group of 20 or 30 of us. I was literally in New York like a month and a half ago. And when I was out there with all of my girls, I was. Each and every one of my girls got at least two or three numbers.

Nadine said, when I watch Pop the Balloon, all the ladies turned down men because of height.

Yeah, it's unfortunate, but I understand it when you are a black woman, a brown woman in this. You know what I mean? This dating thing's got to be fun. Okay. Someone said, women who are PhDs, MDs, who should we date? You can't date anyone that.

Doesn'T make six figures.

Does y'? All? Y' all in the 203 world, and everybody is coming at you. You don't feel safe. And so in your head, what you're thinking is, let me find a partner that is going to allow me to feel safe. This is a safety issue. It has nothing to do with height. But a lot of women make it mean height. 100, sometimes 400k. Mark.

Someone said, I would love to see you work with Melissa Ford. Yeah, I think she may have been in my DMs. I'm not sure. But, girl, I think we all need help. Yeah. Which city in Texas is best for single women?

That's a great question.

I would probably say Guadalajara, Mexico. I mean, wasn't Texas Mexico to begin with?

Recently, one of my clients in Dallas got her guy. But Houston is, though, and it's not.

So I want to offer that to anyone that needs to hear it. Someone said, where did your hair come from, girl? Turkey. Istanbul. Mirhaba.

Okay. Worst city to date on in the U.S.

It'S worse. It's the worst city. It. Let's do some more different little Kim.

More bad girls. Eve. It has overtaken Atlanta. My Atlanta girls are getting their guy. My Houston girls, it takes them longer for sure.

Someone asked nyc, where did you go? We went to. Were in Brooklyn.

There's a hotel that has, like, lobby parties. I forget the name of it.

Yes. Me, I gotta find a location for my LA girls.

Okay, let me see what questions. What questions we have here.

Yes, ma'. Am. Yes, ma'. Am.

Yes. Honey, we gotta have this whole dating thing. Okay, Let me figure out. Mimi said, I'm in a very healthy relationship thanks to your advice. Anwar. Amazing. That makes me so happy, girl. De said, I have a doctorate and it's hard out here, especially with the recession. It has to be fun. If it's not fun, like, what are we doing? Well.

Yes. The Ace Hotel in Brooklyn. That's right. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Girl, it's good to see you. This is one of my. One of my girls. Yes. Yes. That. That was.

Was lit, too. So you have a doctor. Y' all gagging on my shoulders and on my arms. Honey, you're gay.

Stop. Like I married. You think it's hard? A lot of my, like, masters and PhD level ladies, they have this period Ice Married with Children. Like, what are you doing?

Like, this requirement of, like. Oh, yeah. He has to have a Master's and a PhD as well. I wouldn't have that requirement if I were you. To be honest with you.

I would really focus on individuals that.

Are.

Providing for you and are able. Girl, it's the summertime. Keep it in your pants. Cross your legs. What are you doing?

To become intimate with you. Not just until. Honey. Yes. Someone said, I know you're fun to go out with so intellectually, but emotionally, physically, sexually and spiritually. And I think it's important for us to think about that in. In totality.

Okay.

Jackie O is a bad girl.

I'm going to LA next weekend to visit with all of my California clients. It's going to be a group of 20 or 30 of us. I was literally in New York like, a month and a half ago. And when I was out there with all of my girls, I was. Each and every one of my girls got at least two or three numbers. Who knows about this? Because when this this came out in college. Girl, you couldn't tell me nothing.

If you know this song, then you my.

You know what I mean? This dating thing's got to be fun. Okay, someone said, women who are PhDs, MDs. Who should we date? You can't date anyone that.

Doesn'T make six figures.

If. When you are going out does y'. All. Y' all in the 203 out. This is a song that you should be having played while you're getting ready to go out. Because if you don't embody this, you're not doing it right.

Yes.

100, sometimes 400k mark.

Someone said, I would love to see you work with Melissa. Poor.

Jackie O nookie. Yeah, I think she may. May have been in my DMs. I'm not sure. But girl, I think we all need help real good.

Yeah. Which city in Texas is best for single women?

Yeah.

Okay. More question. That's a great question.

I would probably say questions. Honey, let's get into it, cuz I've been acting a fool.

Guadalajara, Mexico. I mean, wasn't Texas Mexico to begin?

Yeah, that's right. Persian. My Maya said, no one knows this song. It's my ish. Y'. All. Y' all not. Y' all are being too shalant for this song for me. Landon Collins said. What city are you in? I'm in Montreal, Canada. Honey. I don't. I'm with.

Recently, one of my clients in Dallas got her guy. But Houston is the worst city to date on in the U.S.

It'S worse. It's the worst city. I go to Canada hunting.

My person is in Canada. Which, by the way, ladies, can I just say, if you're a black woman in the us, don't be afraid to. It has overtaken Atlanta. My Atlanta girls are getting their guy. My Houston girls, it takes them. Put your dating app in a different country. In Canada, in Europe, like, longer, for sure.

Someone asked nyc, where did you go? We went to. We were in Brooklyn.

Girl.

America is fourth world right now. No shade.

It's not giving.

Do you understand that?

First of all? So there's a hotel that has like lobby parties. I forget the name of it. That reminds me, I gotta find a location for my LA girls.

Okay, let me see what questions. What questions we have here.

Okay, let me figure out. Mimi said, I'm in a very healthy relationship thanks to your advice. Anwar. So many people are going to lose their jobs.

And when men are stressed out about their careers.

They'Re not going to prioritize dating.

But do you understand.

When they don't know if they're going to have a job next week, they're going to be leaning into work to make sure that they're amazing. That makes me so happy, girl. Didi said I have a doctorate and it's hard out here, especially with the recession.

Well.

Yes. The Ace Hotel in Brooklyn. That's right. Thank you, thank you, thank you, girl. It's good to see you. Invaluable so that they don't get fired or as the nice girls say, let go.

Yeah. UK's in the same boat, girl. Brexit. Lame. Y'. All. Y' all are done dead, honey. Europe, European Union. This is one of my. One of my girls. Yes, yes, that. That was.

Was lit, too. So you have a doctor Canada, Australia do that, honey. So I have one app there. One up in the US.

I'm just telling you, like.

I. And I told her you think it's hard. A lot of my, like, masters and PhD level ladies, they have this requirement of like, oh, yeah, he has to have a Master's and a PhD as well. I wouldn't have that requirement. My ladies, this. This week, things are starting to tighten up, which means that men are not going to be. If I were you, to be honest with you.

I would really focus on and wanting to get into relationships like they used to. Individuals that.

So. Something to think about.

Okay.

Which countries.

France, Germany.

Are providing for you and are able. Amsterdam, Southern Italy. I still like London.

But not the rest of the. Oh, definitely Dublin, honey. The Irish.

The Irish are the blacks to become intimate with you, not just intellectually, but emotionally, physically, sexually, and spiritually. And I think it's important for us to think about that in. In totality.

Okay. Of the. Of the UK and of. Of Europe.

Jackie O is a bad girl.

Someone said, not Amsterdam. I meant Holland. Rotterdam is better than Amsterdam, for sure.

Charming. Said, I got a French man. They love us there. Yes. 100%.

Who knows about this? Because when this. This came out in college, girl, you couldn't tell me nothing.

City girls, other bad girls.

Are the Irish packing? Yeah, honey, their things look like potatoes. And what.

If you know this song, then you. My people.

And I don't want a potato famine, honey, if you know what I mean.

When you are going out, this is a song that you should be having played while you're getting ready to go out. Because if you don't embody this, you're not doing it right.

Yes, honey. If you don't have these vibes while you're Dating, girl, you're not dating, right? If you.

Yes.

You in the dark, in the corner, in a room, on an.

Jackie O nookie, real good.

App, like a perv, you're not dating, right?

This sort of energy, this is the energy that you need to have while you dating. For fun, honey.

Yeah.

Like, it doesn't have to be that serious. It shouldn't be that serious. It should be fun.

Okay, more question. Like, you should be talking your ish to these men. Like, none of these men are serious until they prove that they are serious. And you won't determine that until, you know, six, eight weeks down the. Down the road, honey. Let's get into it. Because I've been acting a fool.

Yeah, that's right. Persian. My. Until then, girl.

You know those nights where you go out and you talk? Maya said, no one knows this song. It's my ish. Y'. All. Y' all not. Y' all are being too chalant for this song to like a guy. And you have the most amazing conversation and song for me. Landon Collins said, what city are you in? I'm in Montreal, Canada.

Like, that was like, you know, a night. And we had a most amazing time. That's how we need to think about each and every one of the conversations that we're having right now with these guys.

I go to Canada, honey. My. My person is in Canada. Which, by the way, ladies, can I just say, if you're a black woman in the U.S. don't be afraid to put your dating app in a different country.

Nicole said, ever got new hair and don't know how to act? No, I do know how to act. I act up in Canada. In Europe, like.

Yeah. Okay. Opinions on dating an older black man. Red flag to look out for. Does he go to the doctor regularly? If he doesn't, he probably has ED and he probably has diabetes. No shade.

Girl.

America is fourth world right now. No shade.

It's not giving.

Do you understand that?

So that's one thing that I really look out for.

First of all. So.

What's ed? Erectile dysfunction.

So many people are going to lose their jobs.

And when men are stressed out about their careers.

They'Re not going to prioritize dating.

But do you understand.

When they don't know if they're going to have a job next week, they're going to be leaning into work to make sure that they're in.

Okay, let's put something else on.

Okay. Invaluable. So that they don't get fired or not Everyone has ED.

I'm pretty sure that half of the black men out there that are 50 plus have ED.

You have to understand that most of these men, the way that they have eaten and the way that they have taken care of themselves has been horrible for their bodies. When you're eating Miss Debbie Cakes every day.

And you grew up on Capri Suns and sunny D.

Your body is not a wonderland, a wasteland.

Ask him when is the last time he's eaten a salad.

If he had Pop Tarts every morning for breakfast before he went to school, he has Ed.

If he has silver teeth in his mouth because that's what he got for his crowns growing up, and he has more than two or three, he has Ed.

Fruit snacks, juicy juice, coca cola.

Ed.

Diet coke, diet ed.

Toaster strudels.

Frozen ed.

If he's eating Lucky Charms.

Marshmallow Ed. That's what his D is doing. It's a marshmallow.

Someone said not. I'm attacked. Captain Crunch. His ish is crunchy now.

I don't know.

Now. And later. He's not gonna D you down now. He's not gonna D you down late. UK's in the same boat, girl. Brexit. Lame. Y', all. Y' all are done dead, honey. European Union, Canada, Australia. Do that, honey. So I have one up there, one up in the us.

I'm just telling you like.

I. And I told her.

Back up.

Someone said, is Ed reversible?

Yeah, the reversible part of Ed is de, which is D, you either getting D down or you're getting Ed up.

If you're a black woman, date younger, please.

Three to six years younger.

Thank you.

Someone said, I'm in the doctor's office. I work. We are seeing them in their early 20s with Ed.

You know why? Because they're watching that corn with the pee every day and joing three times a day, girl.

So when you're talking about black men that are 50 plus, you have to understand.

We gotta ask these questions.

When's the last time you've been to the doctor? Do you eat? Do you drink water and eat salads? Those should be your first questions. And number three is.

When are you going to be retiring?

If he doesn't know, he's out.

And that is on the blood of Jesus. Thank you.

Okay.

Okay. What questions do we have?

Yoshi said, Married six times, age 55. Did therapy. Financially secure. Run or entertain him.

Do you want to be lucky number seven?

Anyone that's married has been married more than three times.

Return to cinder.

Needs to be Reset to factory settings.

What do you think that you're going to do as wife number seven that the former six women were not able to do?

Honey, if you're going to entertain him, you're going to be in the Hunger Games and you're not going to win.

That's entertainment.

Someone said he's been married six times. He wants a man. I don't think he wants anybody.

Okay, let me see what y' all talking about.

I mean.

At this point, we can assume he probably has more than four kids.

He's probably looking for someone to play mom. Okay. Someone asked, do you ever date a Turkish guy? Any advice? Cuz I'm seeing one right now. Yeah, my first boyfriend was Turkish. I just came from Turkey.

Do you see this little antibiotic?

That's how big they are. Mirhaba nar.

If you want that your entire life, then by all means have that Turkish delight as flat as a Turkish rug. That's what they are.

Antibiotic delight. Honey.

You think I'm playing? I'm not.

Someone said, donut kebab. No, it's just a key. It's not even a kebab.

People get sometimes. They get so mad at me when I talk about men and size shaming them.

Like.

One. I don't care. These men don't care.

And.

Someone said, it depends. Girls, it doesn't depend. The most you getting is 5, 6 inches. Girl.

I am size informing.

The last thing that I want you to do is be highly disappointed and try to make something out of nothing.

Yeah. Anyway.

D said it's stereotypical though. Do you understand that everything that I say, give it the 8020 rule.

Of course, not everybody is this way. But I want you to know what directionally it will give.

Lucky if you get five from these Turkish men. Honey.

That'S why my first boyfriend was my first boyfriend and was I had to step away from immediately.

Okay. The henchman I'm talking to was Forbes 30 under 30 Africa. He wants to fly me out. Thoughts? No, no. We don't fly out to men. They need to come to us.

Yeah, honey, I tell jokes. I don't tell lies.

Don't ever fly to a man.

You will be. You will understand if he cares for you, if he's really interested. If he flies to you this 30 under 30, he's flying out women every week. But if you ask him to come to you, one, he will respect you more. And two, you'll get to understand if he's really serious about you or not.

Respectfully speaking, if you Fly out to a man. You are.

A piece of meat for that week.

Don't fly out to men, girl. He's ordering in. He's uber eating you.

Okay? Yeah. You're getting door dashed.

Sweet Layers said. Found. Found me a great man with your advice. Awesome. So happy for you.

Kayla. Said, he says he's in love with me but doesn't want a relationship. We go on trips and all. Should I continue?

This is exactly what I was talking about at the beginning of this live.

Guess what? I believe that he is in love with you, but he doesn't like you.

That's why he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Should you continue with someone that doesn't like you? No.

No. You deserve to be with somebody that wants to claim you and wants to be in a relationship with you and doesn't want anyone else having access to you.

Let him go, please.

Okay. Let's. Let's put some more bad girls in here. Yeah.

Yeah.

This is the thing, because just because a man says that he.

Loves you or likes you doesn't mean that he truly does. Just because he spends time with you, hangs out with you, doesn't mean that he likes you or he loves you.

There are men that hook up with women that they don't like, that they're not even attracted to, but they did. They want to feel good around. They just want to feel good. So they're just gonna find something that makes them feel good.

This is the perspective that I want you to have as a woman that is single and that is dating.

Now. This isn't necessarily going to reflect people that you are deeper in the courtship with. Right. Or people that you're in a relationship with for the most part. But I think it's important for you to have this mindset so that you can be really clear that, like, I don't care about what these men say. I don't care about what they do. I care about how they really do treat you. And if they have relationship skills, they can fly you out. They can do X, Y and Z.

Can they hold space for your emotions? Do they. Do they respect your boundaries?

Because, girl, no shade. I can get flowers for myself.

But if I set a boundary with you and you can't respect that, then we'll never have anything here.

Okay.

Okay. So they said, I feel like guys lack empathy, and that's weird. Men are conditioned and programmed not to have empathy, but to have strength.

So it's not. I just want to reframe this. That it's not weird. It's how most men are conditioned to be in society.

Have you ever been around a little boy that cries around a family and what that family says or does to them?

Oh, my gosh.

Early on in my parenthood, I was guilty of this until I had to, like, allow my son to be able to have tears.

And know that that's okay.

Because of my conditioning and programming.

So I just. I want to offer that. Right. Everyone's struggling through. Through patriarchy.

Said, you have a son. I have a son and two daughters.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Thank you all so much for the lovely compliments. I appreciate it. This is why I've been away. This is why I haven't been doing a lot of videos and stuff like that one. I've been healing one. I've had a hair transplant. Another thing, I'm selling my book proposal to top five publishers right now. So that's what's happening. And I am meeting with television studios for my TV show that's going to be coming out. So, respectfully speaking, I'm not an influencer. I'm not a content creator. I'm a dating coach, and I'm creating a. A empire right now. So I just want to offer that I'm probably not going to be doing as many videos as I've done before.

Because we're leveling up.

Yeah. And you'll get my information in my book, in my TV show, and in the app that I'm creating. Okay. All right, I'm gonna go because I'm going to spend some time with my kids.

Someone said, do I coach women overseas? We coach everyone. Yes. So what did we learn today? We learned that we need to activate. Activate to your highest purpose. Activate to your future self in life and in love. And we need to understand Bad girl. We also need to understand that.

Just because you're loved doesn't mean that you're liked. And we need to find men that actually like you. We also learned that you need to stop being boring and get hobbies. We also learned that.

Say no to potato famines.

And we also need to focus on.

If older men, specifically black men, drink water and eat salads.

Okay.

And that Turkish men are not packing. Was there anything else that I missed, ladies?

And.

Have fun.

All right, ladies, be well. Talk with you soon. Bye. Bye.