Dating Q&A - 06-01-25

Hello, hello, Hello. I'm so happy to see you all. Oh, my God. Somebody just tell Typed help y'. All. You got. You gotta let me breathe, girl. I can't help you immediately. I have to. Someone said our king. Someone said you lost weight. Well, I hope so, girl. I hope so. Even though I've had three children, it doesn't mean that I let myself go. Honey, I gotta say Snatch Back. Snatch Back. Yeah. Welcome, welcome. Welcome, everyone. I hope everyone is doing well. It's good to see you. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Coach Anwar. I am a dating and relationship coach for women of color, specifically black women. So I'm so happy that I'm here. I haven't been on Live in a while. I've been so busy.

Doing xy. Angie. Hello. And so that's what it's giving, girl. And so, for all you gay girls out there, as well as all of the DL boys that you've been dating, I do want to wish you all a happy Pride Month.

Stop dating gay dudes, girl. Okay, thanks.

Somebody has to say it. Somebody has to say it, honey. These men get out of your masculine energy immediately. These DL men are eating it up. Do you hear me? Do you hear me?

Oh, my gosh. Happy Pride month to you all. Yes. Someone said he's coming in hot. I'm always hot, girl. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying, honey? Okay, so with that said.

What are we doing here? I'm going to answer your questions about love, dating, relationships, and men or women. Like, girl, I don't care what you do. I just want you to find love, and I want you to get into the best relationship of your life. That's what I'm here to do. That's why I do what I do. Someone said. Can we discuss doctors? What do we want to talk about? Doctors are the worst in bed. You heard it here first. I don't care what Grey's Anatomy said or showed you. They don't know where your spot is, even though they literally have been studying the anatomy for you years upon years. They're horrible. They're the worst. Yeah.

Someone said. Loved your collab with Jesse Wu. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. I had such a great time chatting with her, all about dating as a Christian woman. So if you haven't checked that out, please check out her podcast and her YouTube channel. The interview is on there. Okay.

Okay. So put your questions in here, and I will.

I'll answer them. Yeah, I'LL answer them. And once that 12 o' clock hits, that's when Cinder Feller comes out. That's when I'm gonna let the girls have it and the boys too. Stephy said, hi, Love you so much. Thank you so much for all the love people. I so appreciate it. I so appreciate it.

I'm trying to think whether we should put some music on or not or if I should just keep it cute and classy.

Monica Said, I just watched your interview with Jesse and you. It was so inspiring. Thank you. I appreciate that. Brandon said, Skin is giving clear af. Honey, when you are booked and busy and it at peace. Like I've just been feeling so good lately. Y' all feeling so good and so much is happening in the back end. Girl, this whole book thing is going crazy, girl. I got four.

Four meetings with publishers this week.

Probably have some more coming up too. Girl. It's crazy.

And.

We have a meeting with a production company for the TV show this week as well. So lots of amazing things are going on. Also, like the business is going crazy. I think I'm gonna have to hire a new coach. So if any of you all are dating and relationship coaches or counselors or social workers or anything like that, please don't hesitate to email. Supportetyourguycoaching.com because the business is growing a lot of virality over the last couple of months. So more and more people have come into the business, which is a good thing. Yeah. So definitely. Supportetyourguycoaching.com Green Tea said, I loved your interview with Jesse Wood. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Okay. Hand not found. Said, what's the T on Arab men? The T is strong.

The tea is possessive. The tea slaps you in and outside of the bedroom.

The T is angry.

The T loves T. Girls.

I've said too much. I've said too much. I've said too much. Oh my gosh.

Oh, how I've missed you all. Have you missed me? Have you missed me? Have you missed me?

Okay, let me see what else y' all are talking about.

Angie Said, I'm ready to find a man. What do I have to do? I'm plus size and Latina girl. All you have to do is go to any cookout and any black man will want you to. They love plus size Latina women. But here's the thing. As a woman and dating on a more serious note, you don't have to do anything.

You don't have to do anything. This is very important.

You just have to be.

You have to be. And part of this is slowing down. Part of this is like really enjoying and enjoying your life, loving your life, loving yourself. Like literally can't getting and can't get like enough of yourself. Okay. So you know when you're focused on other people, what they think, what they feel. When you're centering men, you've already lost the plot, you've already lost your, your position in your own life. Yeah. Yeah. So.

That'S just it. Yeah.

Green tea. Cody said, I cried when you cried on Jessie Wu. Yes. I'm not really an emotional person. I like to keep my shit legit. But I did get emotional in that interview. So if you want to check it out, you definitely can. I'm very passionate about my work with and for black women and that will always be the case. Yeah.

Okay. Sissy said. Fairy godbrother. Why do men keep asking me for my number and not using it? Because they just want to know if they can get it or not.

Most men that are going to approach you in the wild are wild. They literally just. They want to know if they can get it.

You want to meet men in more.

What I call velvet rope spaces where not everybody can get into.

If you're meeting men at the Walmart.

If you're meeting men at the gas station.

Even if you're meeting men at the mall.

Yeah. These men are non serious. If you're meeting men at the Target. No shade, you shouldn't be at the Target.

Conferences, house parties, exclusive clubs, stores that not everybody shops at. Like Trader Joe's or Whole Foods.

Different kinds of gems. Yeah. If you're meeting someone at the liquor store, girl, go to AA now. It's basically the same thing. No shade.

What about the bank? I'm not mad at it.

Even if it's a credit union.

Yeah. Okay.

Insightful Kittens said, I'm 5, 6 and 290. I'm STR struggling on hinge. How can I navigate dating as a plus size woman? You should not be unhinge.

You should not be on hinge. You should be on plenty of fish and maybe woo plus.

And maybe bumble.

Someone said I'm black in Utah. Help.

You have two choices. You can convert to Mormonism or you can move.

Which one you want to do?

Which one you want to do? Someone said what's the tea on Indian men? The tea on Indian men is that they're very spoiled. Their mother spoiled them like crazy.

There are colorists.

And you have to figure out is the Indian man from.

Like grew up in America or grew up in India, because those are two different Indian men.

Authentically Serial said. This is such a good question. Should we choose who we like or allow someone to like us?

You should see who likes you and then from the people that like you, figure out who you like the best out of them.

I know that sounds really crazy because most people just try to choose who they like. No, your guy needs to be completely obsessed with you.

And the shade of it all is that.

Most of you all are focused on people that don't like you because you have a rejection kink. And that's no shade.

Find the men that live for you and want to die for you, and then out of those group of men, find the best guy out of that and get with him.

Your guy should be a little scared of you and a little intimidated by you just a little bit. If he's too intimidated by you, it's over.

Okay? Okay.

Y' all are gagging on rejection kink.

Rescue run. Repeat said, I've been listening to you and it's working. Of course it's working. This is why I get women into relationships every other day in the program.

In my program. So if that's something that's of interest to you, definitely don't hesitate to go to the link in my bio and book a call. And we, although no shade, girl, we have so many clients right now, girl, we need more coaches than we need clients. So.

Yeah, book the call anyway and we'll see if we have. We have space for you.

Selah Curates says, what advice do you have for late bloomers?

The gag is that a lot of late bloomers, they want to just bloom without realizing that you're going to need sun, you're going to need water, and you're going to need good soil.

And a lot of that requires deeper work.

Deeper work. Yes, you're going to need experience, but I think as a late bloomer, you're actually going to need.

Good experience, not just experience. So doing the work is important to make sure that you know how to date. The last thing that I want you to do as a late bloomer is act a fool and not know what you're doing in your 20s and 30s and then get really hurt and so hurt that you don't ever want to date again.

So I do think it's important for you to find some sort of program or a way of dating and be consistent with that.

Don't just throw yourselves to the wolves and hope for the best. That's not gonna work.

Because most late bloomers and most people don't know how to date.

So.

You gotta learn.

Gotta have a strategy.

In the chat. Let me know if you don't have a strategy. Give me a hashtag nostrategy. If you don't have a. If you don't have a dating strategy. Because.

My program is all about giving you strategy around dating and knowing what sort of places. One, I have my own proprietary strategy for online dating, but also offline dating. I understanding your flirt style and your what we call your main character energy.

And we use that information to inform what sort of places you should be going to offline to find your person. I always say that a bottle of water is a dollar at the grocery store, but it's $7 at the airport.

So we got to get you to your airport spaces, girl. Yeah. Okay, good.

Let me see what the tea is.

Amber said, are physical trainers good to date? No, they're not.

Trish said, how are the kids on the hubby and more kids are good. I was playing single mother of three this weekend. My partner was in New York City. So in my family, we take couples trips, we take family trips and we take solo trips. So he's on his solo trip because I think that's really important to keep your sanity and to remind yourself of like, oh, I'm an adult person. Yeah. Thank you for asking, though.

Zoster said, he's short and has kids, but so generous. Okay. We love a short king over here. The short kings are packing. So if you are a woman who needs to be packed, go shorter, has kids. Great. What's his relationship with his kids? If he has a great relationship. That's amazing. A lot of black women don't like men with kids because one, many of them were neglected. And so they feel like, oh, my God, he's going to focus on his kids more than me and then it's going to hurt. But also, and this is like a real fear that I want to honor, which is I don't want to be stereotypical. Right. I don't want to be in this love triangle with his baby mama. And I get that. But. But also, a lot of people, like, get into relationships and they don't work out.

Get into relationships younger, they grow apart and they go about their separate lives. What you're going to have to figure out is, does he have a great relationship with his kids? Some of these men will be like, yeah, I haven't seen my kids or forever, or my kids are in a different state.

Honey. If his kids are in a different state, you need to be in a different state, too.

A state of mind where you're not thinking about him and he's a non motherfucking factor.

You're gonna need to ask and observe his co parenting situation. Very, very important. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I hope that's helpful.

Tay said how long to wait to do the deed?

You're a grown woman. My job is not to police a woman's body. I will tell you, as a dating coach, I generally recommend not being intimate until you're in an exclusive relationship.

Girl, I don't know if you saw it, but there are huge spikes and sti and hiv rates.

Around the us.

So.

I just want to share that with y'. All.

Not just that, but before you get into a relationship and before you decide that you want to have sex with a man, please don't be shy about asking him to get tested.

What did Gray. Meredith Gray say? Do a whole. Do a whole scan, girl. Get a CT scan on that mofo if you have to mri. I don't care. Do a full panel. That's what they say. He needs to do a full panel. As do you. Girl, I don't know what y' all getting into.