Dating Q & A - 08-11-24

Thank you.

I can barely see.

Okay, let me see what the girls are going to be talking about. What's the tea?

Hello, hello, hello. I hope everyone is doing well. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Hello, hello, hello.

What's tea? Happy Sunday, everyone.

Happy Sunday, my loves, y'.

All. All right. Y' all doing well.

What's the tea? What's the gaga? Give me the tea.

Mara, sit in Florida. Hello, Sade. Hello, Jordan.

Happy Sunday, girl.

Yeah. You always said love your face.

Thank you, girl. I love my face, too, because it never declines.

Hello, Kimmy. Hello.

Happy Sunday.

Well, y', all, you need to know something.

I'm not in Montreal, Canada, right now. Do you know where I am? I'm gonna give you all some guesses. Guess where I am, honey. Guess where I am and I'll give you one clue. It is the absolute danger zone.

Where do you think I am? I said danger zone, girl. Florida is danger zone.

I'm saying. I'm hearing Florida, not there. Antigua, not there. Bahamas, not there. California, not there. Cuba, not there. Florida, not. Girl, I said danger zone.

Y' all are saying Cuba, no. Cancun. I was there in March. Morocco is dangerous, but I'm not there. Miami, Yes, I am. California. And I. I live in Canada, but I'm American. Someone said Bahamas. Hey, Latrice, girl, not Bahamas. That's not dangerous. Jamaica is dangerous, but I'm not there.

Atlanta is very dangerous. Okay. Mocha Dream222 and get money. La, you got it. And Ms. Ingrid and it's nothing. I'm fine. Yes, honey. I'm in the doctor, girl. And the doctor means I need a doctor. I need a doctor, girl. I need a. I need a real one. I need a real doctor, honey.

My partner, I love him so much. Has.

Surprised me with a weekend trip to the doctor, honey.

Yeah, someone called 91 1. That's right, girl. I'm glad my partner got me all snatched up, girl. We were at doc. We were at dinner and the waiters were trying to get me, girl. Yes, honey. Someone said, are you at a resort Always that.

Kenny said, doctor is not dangerous if it. The men are, girl. That's why I said it's dangerous. DJ Said don't drink their alcohol too late. Girl, they done got me. They done got me, girl. They done got me.

Yeah, someone said, it feels like I haven't seen you in forever. I think I might be shadow banned or something because I did like a pretty like crazy video that I know that would have probably, in normal circumstances gotten me 500, 000 views and it only has like 40, 000, but it's okay. Tick Tock is like going downhill really fast. So, anyway, for those of you that don't know who I am, my name is Coach Anwar. I am a dating coach for black and brown women. And I'm going to help you get your dating life in order, okay? Because too many people are struggling, and you're acting like it is depression. I love depression out there, and I want to make sure that we are.

You know, getting you your guy.

Ultimately.

You know, in my program, we have three to four women that are getting into relationships every week and, like an engagement once a month. Even today, I had a client from San Diego get her guys. So if you're interested in learning about getting into my programs, definitely check the link in my bio if there's anything that I say that helps you on this live or you just want to love and support me. Tap, double tap and triple tap the screen so that, you know, we can get the love going. By the way, this Internet might be going in and out because like I told y' all before, I'm in the doctor.

All right, let me see what the T is. Can you find me a man that want to take me to the doctor? If you go, come to my program, girl. I'll do my best. Someone said, pan the camera.

Hold on.

Let me find what that. What that girl's saying. She sounds thirsty.

Okay, let me see what she. Let me see what y' all are talking about.

Okay. Love and happiness. I pan the camera around so we can enjoy too. Okay, Wait, hold on. See that guy walking?

That's one.

Giving resort tees, girl.

Resort tea for your nerve.

When. If there's anyone that. That I think y' all might like, I'll. I'll switch the camera around.

Okay. Candy Said, I have a question, girl.

What's the question, girl?

Marguerite said, because I don't be seeing nothing from you. I thought you were on hiatus. Never that, girl. I mean. I mean, I'm not on every day, but I do have videos at least one to 12, one to two times a week.

Stay with Shan Said. Stay fit with Shan Said. What's your favorite social media platform? It was Tick Tock, but slowly turning into Instagram. I have 670, 000 followers on tick tock. 70,000 from.

Instagram, and I'm getting the same amount of views.

What's that?

Tea? Something right. Something right. Triple question mark. Said, Is your name Arabic? It is. I was named after Amor Sadad.

How long am I In the doctor for I'm leaving today. Thank you for your dating advice.

You're welcome.

Yes, honey, we're definitely in a recession up in here. Hi, Ned. Hi, ladies. Gigi last said I'm joining next year.

All right, girl.

No shade, but the prices are increasing.

Next week, so you're gonna have to grow.

We might have to save a little bit more.

Kaylee said, I think I might have gotten my guy. I know that's right, girl. Happy for you.

Okay, so let me see what y' all are talking about, honey, because if you don't know, I want you to put your questions in the chat and I'm going to answer them in the order that I see them so that we can get you going, we can get you together, girl.

What do you think about dating apps? I think that they're great to practice chatting with men, but I don't think that you should take them seriously. I think that you should. You should look at them and engage with them as if you were on the casino floor in Vegas and we're just playing and having fun.

Sabina said, these men want to date me but won't accept that I have kids. I'm tired of them. Then they don't want to date you if you're a woman with kids. I need you to understand that your kids are going to be one of the best evaluators in dating as possible. Lead with the fact that you got kids. It'll either attract family oriented men or someone subtract men that just want you for your punani.

Said, Would you forgive someone after they cheated on you for six months? It's been eight months of no. No contact. I would forgive them for myself, but I wouldn't tell them that I forgive them. I would forgive them internally and keep it moving and replace him with three other men. Now what? Gold, silver, and bronze Olympics get into it.

Mua said you've been traveling. I love it. Yes, girl. This week, doctor. Last week, Memphis. The week before that, New York City. Honey, she's busy.

Chenma, thank you so much for the rose.

Good morning, Denise.

C. Thank you so much for the six roses.

Sid.

Sidney said. So where are we meeting these people? In the wild, Girl.

Let me tell you something.

They're everywhere.

But you also have to open your mouth.

Who. Who in this chat.

Is acting cute and mu.

Out and about and not talking to anybody, hoping that these men are going to talk to you? Let me know who's doing that because that can't happen anymore. That. That could happen in the 90s but in 2000s, that's not going to be it. Post me too. That's not going to be it. You got to talk to these men. You got to, you know, at least be positioned nearby, say, oh. As they're walking by. Hello. Hi.

How's it going?

Ask them for help. Ask them. Give them a compliment. Real cute. You know, ask for a recommendation, those sorts of things.

They're everywhere.

Okay. Chrissy said, hey, coach. So happy you're live. I keep missing the late night lives. Girl, you got to extend your. Your bedtime.

Girl, you got a curfew.

Yeah.

Awesome, awesome, awesome. All right, let me see. Would you date a guy who got a divorce because he had an affair? I wouldn't. I wouldn't because that's. That's immature. That lets me know that he's not, like, emotionally communicating. Instead, he's just feeding his ego.

I wouldn't do it. Latrice, thank you so much for the ten roses. Girl, life is peachy.

Thank you so much for the rose.

Thank you so much for all of the roses, ladies.

Latrice, thank you so much for the white rose.

Yeah. You always said, how do I get my boyfriend to understand I'm a social butterfly? Well, did he not know that beforehand?

What did he think you were some 1950s housewife girl? What's that tea?

That said, I'm in a relationship with someone who is so sweet, but I'm always trying to nitpick. How do I stop it?

This is because you don't believe that you deserve someone to be nice to you.

So one thing that I would tell.

You is that you're gonna have to start doing nice things for yourself because you're not used to people being nice to you. And this is not just you. This is for a lot of women out there. If you've been in situations where you've had a highly critical or judgmental mother, your definition of love is to nitpick and to be critical, because that's what you saw your mother doing. So, one, and this is what we do in my program, we do that deeper work of making sure that you heal your inner child wound so that you don't do that. But two, for right here, right now, you've got to figure out. You have to understand that you're worthy of this. And part of this is giving yourself these things so that you can tell yourself and have the evidence that you.

Are worthy of good things.

Because right now you might not feel that.

Yeah, if.

If y'. All.

Y' all are not seeing me on TikTok, you need to follow me on Instagram and. Or YouTube, because I share the same stuff on all three of those platforms. But I think two things are happening. TikTok, the algorithm is messed up over the past two to three weeks, two to three months, but also. And they might ship that algorithm. The other thing is I have all of these imposter accounts that are trying to be me, just like most of the dating coaches out there. But I think it's because those are getting reported that maybe some people are also reporting me, and it's like lowering my. My potential views. So, like, this last video, I got.

40,000 views or something like that, and.

My average is like 250,000 views. So don't know what's going on. But I'm not worried about it, girl. I'm writing a book, and I just.

Signed with the production company.

So get ready for a TV show in 2026, because that's what it's about.

Honey, we can.

We're getting these black women love.

Honey. We're helping them get their guy on the.

On the. On.

On the.

On the grand stage. But you didn't hear that from me, okay?

Yeah. Catherine said they want you to buy ads.

Girl, I'm not buying nothing.

I'm buying some Tom Ford.

That's what I'm. That's what I'm buying.

Honey, I'm not buying ads. Girl, please.

They could never. Not from me.

Okay, let me see what y' all are talking about. A lot of people feel like I clock their teeth with the cute and mute. I see.

Cooper, Mickey said, what did you do in Memphis? I was visiting my mom and my grandma while we were there.

How do you ask a man for money?

You don't. You live a lifestyle that he knows that you require money. If you have to ask for money.

Then you're not worth.

He's not. He's never going to think of you like that. That's desperate. Do you know who asks for money?

The home.

You have to inspire him.

Y' all don't be asking me these.

These sorts of questions.

Ask your 7 for that. That's. That's the girl for that, not me.

Brenda said, am.

I blocked a guy for the first time, thanks to you.

He was just texting and setting. Thanks. Good. Y' all need to go in and block a lot. A lot more people. So this Sunday, while y' all are watching your virtual churches, because some of y' all are not getting to the church. And, you know.

That'S cute.

Go on your phone and block some of these guys you haven't talked to in the last month.

All right, let me see what y' all are talking about.

Have you heard of the league dating app? Any thoughts? Honey, I've heard all about all of the dating apps.

I think that the league is not for black women. I wouldn't be on there. I wouldn't tell any of my clients to go on there.

I'm looking for a man, though. He should speak to me.

All right, girl, keep doing what you're doing.

I'm not here to. If you feel like that's gonna work for you, gone. Girl.

Said, I'm throwing my head out in public. Y' all are acting like we are. You know, like when you were in.

Junior high or high school and you.

Were, like, in the hallways and the hot guy, your crush, like, came, like, walking down the hallway. That's how y' all are acting when y' all are out and about.

Do you understand?

We're not in high school anymore. And I'm saying this with love and respect. I'm not trying to comfort anyone. I need you to understand that, like, crushes are for teenage girls.

We're grown women.

So you have to understand that you're a queen and these men are like your jesters, right? If you ever watch the Michael Jackson music video, remember the time and these men were here to just, like, entertain iman and she would say yes or no to them. That's the energy you have to bring. And if you're not bringing it, it's over. Like, you've already lost. So part of what I do in my program is to make sure that my ladies are in their queen energy, that they are.

The CEO of their love lives and not the interns. And if you find yourself the intern, then you need to go to the link in my bio and book a consultation call immediately. Immediately. You hear me?

Wyma said, how do we open our body language? Uncross your legs, girl.

No, no, keep them cross, girl. Always a lady, always the mirror.

I think, you know, I don't really think about body language as much. I think about making sure that you are talking with other people so people like guys who see you understand that, like, if they are to come to you, that you're not going to just diss them and reject them, that ultimately you're going to have a conversation with them.

Plant based live said. I said to a fine man. So you're going to stare and not speak. He was shook. He stared me down with smirk. Exactly. Let Let these guys know. Let these guys know you're the queen.

Another, another line that you can use is you're staring a lot. Should I be scared or flattered? Girl, anytime.

Whatever they, Whatever they, whatever they answer, you've already won.

Yeah. Catherine, thank you so much for the heart me. User195 said, I haven't seen you in a while.

I know, girl.

Tick tock. Tick tock has fallen out of love with me. So I'm gonna get a new social media man.

Gigi said, how do you know if a guy is actually single? Ask him. Hello, Divine Spice, good morning.

What's your opinion on ball guys?

If he's over 35 and he's bald and he's non black, he's probably checking for you. If he is.

Bald and under 35, he's probably a skinhead.

Grown black woman said, I went on.

A date this weekend with a medium ugly. We called a medium handsome.

Now ladies and I had a ball.

Thank you. You're so welcome. Here you get with the medium handsome guys and you, girl, you're gonna be set for life.

AK47 said, Hot guys are a no. They are.

They are definitely a no.

Hot, hot, hot guys are a not hot equals not.

Latifat said, he invited me to the movies two weeks ago. But we are aren't texting constantly. If y' all are not. Here's what it looks like. He's asking you out every week.

If he's going two weeks and you still haven't dated him, he's out, let him go.

He's not.

He's not. One thing that you have to understand is that these men, if they're into you, they're going to be addicted to you. You're going to have to fight them off with a stick. That's how it looks like. As someone who gets at least three to four women into relationships and every week that is what it looks like, that they don't have to wait to be asked out. He's always got a plan. He always wants to do something. He's always thinking when he's not with you, he's considering, what can I do with her? How can I impress her, right? How can I court her?

Ellie said, I met a man 20 years older than me. He wants to do everything for me, but I can't be with him. I'm 25. I think that you can date him to learn and I think that you should be. If you're gonna date him, date at least two to three other guys. So you have a guy in your 40s, you need a guy in your 30s, and you need a guy in his 20s, and you're in his 20s, right? But don't date him alone because you'll get addicted. Capital D.

Someone said reading me for.

Filth on the Lord's day.

And the Lord said, let there be.

Phil.

Your future professor. Thank you so much for the rose.

I appreciate it. Catherine, thank you so much for the three roses. Hannah said, opinions on hookups.

Here's the thing.

80% of the women can't deal with hookups. And you got to know what kind of woman you are. There's another 20% that are like, can do the do and move past it and not get chemically bonded. But most women are going to get chemically bonded to some guys. And especially if the D is good, girl, you're gone. Remember that movie Gone Girl? That's going to be you gone girl too.

Catherine said, you want us to report the fakes? Please do. But also tick tock has to verify me. I've applied three times and they've denied me just like Harvard did. It really hurts my feelings.

Thank you all so much for the congratulations.

I appreciate it. Yeah, we've been working hard in her my. And in her is my delight. No hope for San Diego, literally. I had a client today in San Diego get into a relationship. So. Girl, it happens everywhere.

I love that name. Girl, tan is popping. Yes, honey. Well, you know, I came here, girl, they thought I was really Dominican. And for the girls that haven't been here, you need to understand that the Dominican Republic is a black country. Most of the Dominicans in like New.

York and other parts of the US.

Those are like the wider Dominicans. No, honey, I need you to understand something. So I came here and grow they. Nobody, nobody spoke in English to me one because I don't think they have English speaking schools. No shade but girl. And you know what I tell them, girl? They said they asked me what my name is. You know what I tell them, girl, Antonio, girl, live like a local girl. Live like a local.

Would you date a man in the building phase of his life but has a guaranteed payoff? There are no such things as guaranteed.

Payoffs.

Unless he has a professional sporting contract.

Marguerite said, can you answer that girl's question about how to open up your body language in public? I answered it. It's not a.

It's really actually not about body language.

It's about making sure that you're talking to random people, even if it's the bartender. Even if it's the hostess.

Hi, Sarah. Annette Chandra said, happy Sunday. Thinking about moving to Spain. Beautiful men.

You will not get into a relationship with them.

They are not marrying black women. And if they were, you would see a lot of brown people in Spain. But you don't. Hey, Bridget. Mabel Said, I love your advice. It's amazing. For Brown Women too. 100%. That's why my. My advice is for black and brown women.

Jersey said, my love, you have an in depth third eye. Thank you girl. I appreciate.

Jamaican said, we are not in high school. Indeed we have. Bill. Sure do.

Don't be that girl that goes home and regrets that she didn't talk to that guy. We don't have craigslist missed connections, any forum anymore. So you're never gonna see him again.

It's giving you only got one chance. That Eminem song.

Katie said, what if you're not pretty? Here's the gag and here's what you need to know. There are always going to be people that find you beautiful and attractive.

Always.

I don't care if you're giving Shrek Shrek's got a Woman.

In all seriousness, I know that there are some people that are a bit. Feeling a bit sensitive about their attractiveness. Attractiveness level. Understand there are always going to people that find you attractive. You might not find them attractive, but there are women. There are people out there that find you attractive. And those people that find you attractive, you still want to give them life. You still want them to take you out and court you and date you. A lot of you are waiting to be married to Superman and Superman has 80 women that is chasing after him. And you're getting pissed that Superman isn't into you when you got.

A Clark Kent ready to risk it all for you, but you can't see past the glasses or whatever that one thing is.

Or two things.

Y' all need to start dating.

Please understand that you know how much your confidence level will increase once you start actively dating people.

Thank you all saying that you love my work. I appreciate it. Yes, honey, we're keeping it. Some girls want to be demure and mindful and some girls want to be cunt. I that want to be queen, want to be legendary.

The gag is demure, is femme. And a lot of y' all are not in your femme energy. I know it's ironic coming from a gay man, but if there's anything that gay men know. We've been studying women our entire lives, the best of the best. And we know femme energy.

Honey, I was.

I was giving demure and. But I wasn't giving mindful.

That's a gag. Don't give mindful. Don't give mindful.

Yesterday, we were at a private dinner.

And there was a main dish, and I was not being mindful, but I was being demure and I said I wanted two main dishes. And the man said, Percy said no, and then I gave him this.

And then he said, yes. That's demure.

I'm not telling him. I'm not doing this.

I'm doing this.

Please understand, when you tilt the neck, ladies, these men are like vampires. They need a lady to see what they're gonna chomp on. So always give neck. Just like America's Next Top Model. Always give neck so they can do their womp womp and their chomp. Chomp works every time.

Catherine, thank you so much for the rose.

Haley said, do you speak first? Sometimes.

Sometimes you can speak with your eyes. You can speak with a smile, or sometimes you can speak with words. Hey, Ambi shots.

Gina said, men told me I look mean then. Girl, you look mean and unapproachable. How can I change that smile and wave?

Nell said, I listen to the podcast and love the episode with Coach Shoya. Coach Shoya is my head coach. She gets the girls together like I do in my program. She's a coach that I've known for 10 years. She's like a sister to me. We actually look alike. And she is a big part of the experience in the program, whether it's the get yout Guy club, which is my group coaching program, or my VIP program, which is my more personalized one on one.

Tasha knows beauty Said, where have you been, girl? TikTok has been like she shadow banning.

Me a little bit.

I don't know why I. I've been here, honey. I'm finishing up this book proposal so I can get this book out that so many of you all have been asking me about. Katherine Said, I'm disappointed. Tik Tok's algorithm is playing you. Girl. I don't care about Tik Tok.

Said, I'm a Latina and I love your content. Thank you. Girl, where are all the mid handsome guys at?

Working. They have to work for a living.

Catherine, thank you so much for the Six Roses.

Perfume.

Said, I just can't overlook a short king. Why, girl?

Why?

Why can't you overlook it?

But you need.

Okay, here's the thing. I don't care if he's a short king or not. And I don't want you to care. Either what. What matters is can he pick you up or not? Most of y' all can't deal with a short king because it. You feel like you're not feminine enough. But if you. Girl, you can be feminine with any man around. This is an energy. This is an experience, is an aura. It is not. It has nothing to do with physical representation. So some of these girls out here who are telling you to put on red lipstick and a red dress and call yourself feminine, girl, that's cosplaying. That's ComicCon. That's not real feminine energy.

A lot of people are saying medium handsome has been putting me through it. Here's the. Here's the cheat code, ladies. Most medium handsome or medium ugly, however you want to put it, guys are generally medium in everything. But the cheat code is medium handsome, top and intelligence, top and financial, and top and emotional. That's the cheat code. Don't just get any old medium ugly guy or medium handsome guy.

Francesca said, am I out of my feminine if I feel guilty for guys paying or not paying? Yeah, girl, that's not feminine, girl. Girl, you're feeling guilty because you don't feel like you're worth it. So you've got to understand that these men are going to have to pay everything for you.

Like, feminine energy is about self pleasure. It's about convenience. You think it's convenient for you to pay for a dinner or a date. That's not convenient.

Please understand that feminine energy is knowing that you don't have to do anything for a guy to pay for your date, that you are inherently worthy of people doing things for you. And also you realizing that you don't have to do anything in return.

Janelle said, where to find solid black men in nyc? Oh, girl, good question.

Here's what I would say. Well, first, you probably need to go to a magazine like Essence because they're trying to push black guys on you 24 7. I am someone who is saying date everybody. And I would say about two thirds of my clients end up with healthy black men. The other third end up with non black men. Still happy. And to be honest with you, the majority of my clients that get with non black men actually end up getting married or engaged pretty quickly within the program.

Bridget said, do you think short men are more masculine? Two things have nothing to do with each other.

Carolina said, what's what? Ethnicity is your man? I'll let y' all guess, honey, but I will tell you this. I feel very privileged.

And I brought sunscreen.

And aloe vera and that's on.

Don't let the sun burn you.

Yes.

My God, girl. Girl, I'm on this little canopy thing and this sun keeps on creeping. Girl. I'm feeling like interview with the vampires. You know, when that sun is slowly coming, it's about to burn them. Girl, I wish you could see me, girl. I'm half on this little thing. I should be laying out, girl, but the sun's about to kill me. Hey, this Dominican sun is as dangerous as these men. Girl. They will. It's burning you. It will burn you. And these men will burn you too. I was just telling my. My partner that, like there's been no relationship in 90 Day Fiance where they tried to get with a Dominican man and it worked out.

Ignar, thank you so much. I love you too, girl.

So what's the etiquette with. With men paying? So first of all, before you go on a date, you want to get your.

The.

The etiquette and the procedure is always get a manny.

And petty before a date. And the reason I say that is because once he paid for. First of all, don't do that little fake a root. Oh, let me look into my prayers. Don't do that. That's messy. And there, there are some guys that appreciate that, but those guys aren't fully in their masculine. Like you have to come with a within.

With an energy like.

A requirement. Right. So go on about your life.

Don't even look at the bill.

Keep on talking if it comes and let him deal with it. And then you give him one of these. Thank you so much. Put your hand out. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Give. You know, so he can bring his hand out and you can touch him. Just. Girl, just that little bit of touch alone, girl, his insights are gonna jump. Thank you so much for taking. Taking care of it. Don't. Don't even use the word pain. Thank you so much for taking care of this. Because it's up to men to take care of things, girl.

Yeah.

Someone said, is there a dating book you recommend?

I recommend a lot of books, all about love.

There's a lot. I'm at home now. I'm in the Dominican Republic because my husband has surprised me with a weekend trip here. But when I get back to Canada, I will definitely share some of those.

Queen above all said, how do you read an online profile to know if it's a good fit? It's not about the words.

It's.

You want to check the pictures. Does this man know how to smile or at least smirk? Is the angle up or down. If the angle's not straight on, it gives almost narcissistic vibes. Don't talk to men that don't have shirts on. Don't talk to men who.

If they're talking about more of what they don't like versus what they like. No, if he's saying like, I'm a nice guy, he's not a nice guy. Nice guys don't say that they're nice guys. They just live it.

If he says he doesn't want drama, he's the drama.

I'm trying to think what other things are applicable.

I'll keep on thinking about it.

Michaela said, fairy godbrother. I got my first golden retriever with your help. Thank you so much. You're welcome, girl.

Hania said, if I speak to a man, isn't that defeating the queen energy? Not necessarily. Not in these times. You have to talk to guys. What the gag is, most of these, a lot of these guys are into you, but they need the green light. And there's a variety of different ways that you can give the green light. You can give it through non verbal or verbal. I'm just saying it's an option because a lot of women don't feel like it's an option. And it is.

If I come up to a man and I say.

Oh, my God, can you get me a glass of water? I spoke to him, but I've asked him to do something for me. I'm still on my queen energy. I'm parched.

When is it being released?

Girl?

I don't know, girl. I'm still working on it. I'm still riding it, girl. Don't put pressure on me, girl.

Natasha said, I'm in Puerto Rico getting hot. These Puerto Rican guys are lame. Any tips? Yeah, girl. Puerto Ricans are Dominican light, like Coors light, girl. You, girl, you part of the US of A, girl. Chat with some US Guys on the mainland.

Nazira said, how do I redirect a man towards a brunch last dinner date instead of a gym or a hike day? Just let him know I'm really tired. I don't think I can do this. I would prefer something that bruj is sitting down so I can rest my body. Center it on your feelings and see what he comes up with. See how I didn't tell him what to do. I just told him how I felt.

Alicia said, what's tea on Canadians?

Tea on Canadians is that.

It'S not all that.

It's not some sort of safe haven.

And Girl, they had slavery up here, too.

And they were shady to the natives, girl. So don't think that the Canadians are much different than the. Than the Americans. There is a slight difference, but it's not as significant as you think. I live in Montreal, Canada. I think that's probably the best place to date if you're a black woman. I wouldn't be, like, seriously dating in Vancouver. They're all for the white and the Asian there. I think the city is, like, a third Asian. So it's. If you. If you're in Vancouver, it's like going back to university.

And if you went to an Ivy League. You know what? That tea is.

Toronto.

Not it. Not it. Not it. Not it. Okay, I'm gonna have to get into the shade, girl, Because.

I'm good. This sun is gonna get me.

Yeah. The gag is that the short kings, they're packing more than the tall ones. Y' all think, oh, my God, he's so hot. He's so tall. When I walk down the street with him, girl, and then you. You grow you, and you're in the bed with him, girl. And he's not as tall, but he's. The tall guys are the short. The short queens in the bedroom clock that too. I'm gonna have to angle this because this sun, girl, this sun eating me up, girl. My toes are on fire.

I don't know what to do.

Gosh.

I'm dying. I'm gonna sit next to you.

I can't even get up. If you're a girl who tries to get out of a seat and you're not pregnant and you still can't get up, throw a.

I gotta get into the hashtag gym time.

Because that's me. Okay, let me see what else is going on.

Harmony said, thank you. We are so confused as women.

You know what's so confusing?

Because you have so many people telling you so many different things, and most of them are coming from a male perspective that, like, wants you to, like, fit into this old paradigm of what the patriarchy looked like. And we're in a new era, and you need to step into your power. Most of y' all are literally still acting like it's 1963 and we're. We're picketing for rights.

Many of us are. Please. I'm not ignorant enough to not think that's the case, but I'm saying that in love, you actually have all the power. And my job and my intention in sharing this information and my advice with you all is to help to empower You. That's what this is about. All day and all night.

How do you distinguish between finding a man who is obsessed with you and one who is love bombing you? I think this is such a great question because it's actually very difficult. Here's what I want you to. Here's what I want you to understand. The difference between obsessed and love bombing is the difference between pursuing and chasing.

You know when you were like, I.

Don'T know, 6, 7, 8, and you.

Were playing tag and then the guy that was. It was chasing you. That's the chase. That's love bombing. That's doing them things on his pace. A guy that's obsessed with you and pursuing you is not trying to.

Like.

See you every day, but he is making it known that he would like.

To see you whenever you're up for it.

Right? I love Bomber is saying, oh my God, I want to see you tonight.

A guy who's obsessed with you is saying, hey, would love to connect when you're ready. Let me know when you have availability. See how he checks in with you first. That it's based on your pace. Whereas a love bombers. It's like, no, I want my pace. I want you now. I want this now. I want that now. It's giving kid energy.

Top and financial, emotional. And what was the third one? Intellectual.

I'm like very behind. I'm sorry, ladies, I'm. I'm catching up. Malama said, can you be my therapist? Come into my program and I'll be your dating coach. So if.

If you are ready to get your guy and do the work to become the woman that's ready for the best relationship of her life, book a call. The link is in my bio. Margarit said, I gotta go, but I love you and appreciate you. Anwar. Thank you. Appreciate it. Short court said, I'm Simone Biles Short. So short kings don't exist for me. Oops.

Grown black woman said, I gotta get over the medium ugly part. Girl, close your eyes.

The interesting thing and thing that I think a lot of women don't understand is that when the intellectual and emotional connection is there, the physical connection can grow.

Candy said, Anmar, please say no. But my daughter keeps saying hi to you like it's FaceTime. Hi, Nova. I hope you're well. Nova, you're a star. The team is that clock battery. Exactly.

Clary Clario says, is it possible to be flirting with someone for months and it still doesn't feel like a talking stage? What do you mean? It feels like more, it feels like less.

Karina said, I'm with a Jamaican man and we're getting married soon. Thanks for all your advice. You're so welcome, girl. I hope he doesn't Jamaica, you crazy.

Not Y' all clocking my white husband. Honey, y' all don't know me.

I might have been with somebody that's mixed. You don't know.

Don't let this white girl accent fool you.

Mo Fun said, what about the Haitians? No, ma', am.

You need to treat the. No, I'm not gonna say that. I'm gonna get canceled.

Okay. Someone said, what country prefers black brown women?

Turkish.

Italians love black women.

Serbians, Croatians, Irish, Scottish. Parts of Mexico, Caribbean.

Lavas.

Colombia, obviously. Africa.

Qatar, Dubai.

And you might be able to get some life in Japan as well.

Not a devil. Exo said amor. Should you ever make the first move, I think that you should be in a position to. I guess. What? I guess my question for you is, what is your definition of a move? Because some would categorize how, like starting our conversation with a guy as a move.

I just think that's like starting a conversation.

It's up to him to, like, drive the conversation and to close the deal.

Cpc. Wow. It's beautiful wherever you are. I am in the Dominican Republic. My partner surprised me with a weekend trip here. So I'm getting my life.

Damn. Trina said my ex was 67 and he was this.

Oops, not the 6 7.

Mary.

Ms. Lissy said, Heat stroke is real. Go inside and pound of water, please. Well, I'm going to be pounding, but it won't be water. That.

Also don't tell me what to do. I'm grown.

Okay, what else?

Oh, my God. Cd, thank you so much for the five row six Roses.

Hell Said, is giving someone a third shot worth it? When is it and when is it not? First of all, you shouldn't be giving these guys two shots. Giving a third shot is wild. Giving a third shot is getting white girl wasted.

Which means girl you not at. By the end of the night, you're not going to be in safety.

Third shot is wild.

And I really. One shot. Like the Eminem shot. The song. You got one shot.

Shay said, am I wasting my time.

With beings a guy's friends with benefits? Well, I guess the question is, what are you benefiting?

My question for you is, are you getting off every time or is he getting off most of the time? Who's really getting the benefit here? A lot of girls think, oh, my God, you know, we're hooking up Half the time, y'.

All.

Y' all are not even getting the O. So there's no benefit. You're just a friend.

So you have to clock that T, because most of these guys are not giving y' all the O.

In the chat. Let me know. Out of the times that you have been intimate, what is the percentage that you've gotten an O? I'm gonna scroll all the way down because I'm curious.

20%, 50%, 70%. 80%. 100%.

Teacher said, every time I come across your live, the first I. The first I hear from you is always something scandalous. I really don't think it's what I say is scandalous.

90. 100%. Someone said 20%. 10%. 100%. 100%. 0%. 80%. 30%. If you're not 100%, girl, you're not ready for a friends with benefit situation. That's what I gotta say.

50%. 1%.

30%. I'm doing a behind the envelope average and I'm getting 20%. That's not a benefit.

Someone said peanut loan, 0%. Yeah. Don't be afraid to let these guys know that they're gonna have to eat. They're gonna have to build up an appetite before they come and see you. Don't be afraid to let these men.

Know exactly what needs to happen for.

You to get off.

And y' all don't be pretending the O don't get fakeroo. Oh, we're too grown for that.

Okay.

Yeah.

So the average is about 20%.

All right. I hope this is helpful, T, honey.

Because y' all think that you're doing some with something with this friends with.

Benefits thing, and y' all are not even benefiting.

Like I told you before, I'm in the Dominican Republic.

Another coach said, not good to tell a man you want something serious. No, your job is just to observe. I. I concur. Where are those guys that are giving the O at 100%? This is a big lie. Not a big lie. Now, you just haven't met them. They're often either very ugly or very poor. Those guys will give you the O100 of the time. Clock that T.

Christy said, where's your Gatorade?

Girl, the Gatorade is all around.

Girl, I don't. I don't need the drink.

Okay, let me see what the tea is. Some of the girls try to do.

Oh, I want to do friends with benefits because you're in the back of your head.

You're trying to bring them progress forward to the relationship that was never there. So you have to really like be truthful to yourself and understand. Am I trying to get to this like 20% stage?

Because I know in reality that he's.

Not ready and he will never be ready for a full on relationship. But because of my scarcity mindset, I'd rather have a little something, even if it's not fully serving me, than nothing at all. That's the question that you need to ask yourself.

Amaya said advice on dating at a PWI first of all, I would say that junior year girl, study abroad. Study abroad.

Preferably a European country so you can travel all around Europe, have five boyfriends in and said country, get fluent in the language so you can put it on your resume after you graduate and then you will have had.

Experience and you will have lived.

Decades in that six months of studying abroad.

Don't. You don't have to date at a pwi. You need to get your education, you need to get your degree, you need to get good grades so you can get that first job.

You don't, you don't want to marry a guy in college.

If you want.

To get some sort of life. One thing that I would say is date someone off campus. That's always a cute look. The girls gag when you say oh, I'm dating somebody. He doesn't go here.

So get out of the campus environment.

The other thing is if you're a.

Black girl at pwi, you need to.

Start engaging like groups outside of just.

Like the black group on campus.

Most of most of the people at.

Those schools become very insular and just like know, really engage with the black community there. And I've been to Ivy's and this.

Is what it looks like or pwi.

Don't do that girl. If you like anime girl, go work that anime group girl. Get yourself a computer scientist.