Dating Q & A - 08-14-24

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

What's the tea, y'? All? What's the tt.

What's really going on? Hello, my loves. Hello, hello, hello. How are we doing?

Happy hump day. Who's humping? What's tea?

Hello, Jake. J Core Ny. Hello, Cherelle. Hello. Not your average Amber. Hello, Elnar. Hello, princess. Hello, ladies. Hey. Just Sharon. Hey, Tiana. Hey. Shooting the breeze. Hey, Ange Beauty. Hey, Sabrina. Laura, Shanika, Tiara or Tiara Latrice. Hey, girl. Hey, Jocelyn. Hey. Adria. Ad Slim. Mk. The ladies are coming in. I love, love, love that I get to see you all. Honey, I was tired yesterday. Well, you know. You know what happened. You know, my man took me to the Dominican Republic this weekend when it was a surprise trip. Honey, I didn't even know. I didn't know when he was, you know, going to do this. Yeah, girl, usually I come on Tuesday nights, Tuesday tea. But.

Honey, I was grabbing. Playing catch up. I've had so many women come into this program, I had to get them all together, all set up.

Yes. So, yes, honey, I'm here on a Wednesday night. I'm putting y' all to bed. Honey, I want to make sure that you're. You sleep tight and you sleep right and you sleep centered and calm. Okay?

All right. So with that said, for those of you that don't know who I am, my name is Coach Anwar. I am a dating coach for black and brown women. I help them heal their hearts. I help them date with strategy, and I help them get into the best relationship of their lives. This is the work that I do. It's the work that I love. I will do this till I die. And it is a pleasure and an honor to do this work. But in this life, what we do is, girl, we spill it, we tell tea and we.

So what happens is you're gonna put your questions about dating, love, relationships and men or women in the chat, and I am going to answer them in the order that I see them. Now, don't get mad if I don't get to your question in a timely manner because oftentimes people are saying that they're getting their notifications from me again. Good. I started doing. Putting videos on TikTok, so now they're giving me a little bit more life.

Be patient with me, because there's probably going to be at least a thousand people in here at some point. Yeah.

So you said, what skincare do I use.

Girl? Snail mucin, rose water.

Tretinoin.

Moisturize, moisturize, moisturizer and After I get off of here, I'm going to moisturize. Yeah, honey, y' all gotta get that snail mucin.

That's. That's. That's what that tea is about, okay? So put those questions in the chat, and we're gonna make it happen, all right? And if there's anything that I say that resonates with you or you just want to send love, tap the screen, like, double like Owen. One thing that I learned is the hydroquinone, which is like a. Kind of like a. Like a. A lactation. That plus a tretinoin, has really gotten my ass together.

I'm starting to look like the popular girl that never had zits instead of the pizza face that I grew up as. No shade to myself.

Okay, Someone said brotox. No, girl, not that. Not that.

So, okay, let me get into this, okay?

Let me see what y' all are talking about.

And just FYI, we're all family here, so don't act. Don't act like you're brand new. We've all been through it, honey, so we just trying to get through it together, okay? Oh, my God. Quinn Split said is Kevin Durant Durant DL, Girl, this is such a specific question.

Girl. Why. Why are you giving that. Are you gonna get me in trouble again? Because I had a live recently where I was spilling dlt, and I probably shouldn't have done that, but I was in a mood. So I'm grown, and I get to do whatever the hell I want to do. It's Kevin Durant DL. I don't have any evidence on this, but I will tell you this.

And for the girls that follow me, you know what that means.

Okay?

Okay.

Should I do a video about dlt, girl, or you think they're gonna snatch me up? I can be the new Jaguar Wright.

Yeah, I should do a video about it, girl. Oh, my God. Someone said translate. Okay, so when guys are gay or DL, I speak in osa, which is a language in South Africa, where we're all from, basically. Girl, no shade so.

Is a language, and if I'm speaking. Oh, sir, it means that he is gay. Gay.

Someone said. No, we need you.

Okay. All right, let me see what the girls are talking about.

Okay, Your podcast is fire and so helpful. Thank you so much, Canton. And just FYI, if you want to work with me, book a consultation call. The link is in my bio. Honey, unfortunately, my. My prices have gone up, so I'm sorry about it, but the girls are getting their guys, and we're getting really popular, and we're adding new and different things every day or every month. So, honey, we had to. We changed the price, unfortunately. But book a call if you still want to work with us. We would love to have you. And also, I have a podcast called the getyourguy Coaching Podcast. Check it out. We just had a new episode today. It's all about glow up. We need to glow up. So I had an amazing Glow up coach. Her name is Jodi, and she's actually. Y' all are talking about my skin. My skin would not be where it's at without Jody, and I had to get my teeth together. Jody is helping me glow up, and it really does change a lot of your life. So. So we. Honey, it's all about. It's all about that glow up in 2024. Make sure you're doing it. Yes, honey, Today's price is not yesterday's price. Okay.

All right, let me see what the girls are talking about. What questions should you ask on a first date? I don't want you to think about first dates in terms of questions. I want you to think about it in terms of subjects. So the same subjects that you're talking to with your friends and your family, those are the same subjects that I want you talking about on your first date. Don't ask boring ass questions like, how many sisters do you have or siblings or where's your hometown or what do you do for work? Girl, that's lame. You wouldn't. You wouldn't be doing all that. Mess with your friends and family. Don't do it on your dates. Girl, if you're talking about politics and Kamala Harris. Girl, talk about it on the date. If you're talking about.

I don't know, what are y' all talking about with your friends and family? Those are some of the things that you want to talk about on your dates. Okay.

But yes, Kevin Durant.

Okay, let me see what else you all are talking about. Can you talk about dating in college a little bit? I actually think that.

Here'S the difference between a lot of black girls and white girls. The black girls are not dating as much in college, because.

They are.

College is a way for them to create safety within themselves. Right? And most of us, many of us didn't grow up with that financial security and safety. A lot of white women and white girls already have that safety, so they don't need to develop that for themselves because their white fathers can provide that for them. So many of them are.

Getting the ring while they're getting the degree.

So.

I'm not here to say that, like, I think that you can do both. Okay. And so I always tell my, you know, when I get this question, I always say, girl, study abroad. Study abroad. Have five boyfriends. Study abroad in like a Spain or an Italy or a Germany or a Brazil or a Spanish speaking country. Have five boyfriends because you'll be very popular with them. Believe and.

Get fluent in a language. Put that shit on your resume and get an amazing job. And while you're doing that, you will have gotten the experience of learning how to date. Because most women of color are, you know, not dating until later on. I mean, a lot of these white girls are dating at the age of 12.

Right?

And many black women kind of don't really get started dating until 18 or even after college. 21, 22.

Okay.

So that's what I would say there. Okay. Okay, let me see what else is going on. Should we date in Mercury Retrograde? Girl, I'm. Girl, I'm hanging on by a threat. Girl, if you can do it, more power to you. Okay, keep upset. Should I move to Dallas? If you're trying to find your person. Texas is hard. Florida is hard. California is hard. If I were a black woman, I would be. I would, I would be. I would be in the DMV area in New York and in North Carolina. That's where I would be.

I'll outset. What do you think about walks on the first date? A guy asked me to go on a walk and I said I was not enticed. I think that I would prefer like a coffee or drinks, but a walk is fine too. There are some girls that love a hike.

I'm not, I'm not a hiker.

But.

You know, get your life, girls. Get your life.

Romance. My life said, meeting my boyfriend's mom. Please give me some advice. Is she black? Is she Asian? Is she white?

I think.

You always want to come with a little. Someone said, I'm a bit of a hiker girl. Don't I know it. I heard about it. A small gift.

So that she doesn't feel like there's a little bit of deference there. Moms need that when you're about to take their boy away from them.

Yeah. Someone said, walks are white. Guided moves. 100. 100.

Okay. Latrice, thank you so much for the friendship necklace and thank you all so much for the 13, 000 likes here on tick Tock. I appreciate it. A foreign Reina said, I'm curious, how did you get into coaching? Well, I've been helping boys talk to girls and girls talk to boys since I was in elementary school. And it wasn't until like, 50, 15ish years ago, I had graduated from an Ivy League, you know, graduate school. And I was helping all of my girlfriends, all of my classmates kind of get their guy because they had. They had the great house, they were traveling a lot, they had a great car, the amazing job, but their love life was. And I was like, girl, you're amazing. And so, like, you know, I'm a type a person. I was just like, I'm gonna take this over for you. I'm gonna get you. We're gonna get you together, girl. I got her profile together. I was helping her navigate with the boys, and within a couple of months, she was in a relationship. And I was doing that with a couple of my classmates. And then within a couple of years, honey, they were engaged and married. And I was like, I like doing this instead of. Because at the time, I was working for fashion companies managing billion dollar budgets. So I was like, I'm going to start doing this. And that's what I did.

Yeah.

Someone said, I hear crickets in the back. Yeah, girl, I'm in the suburbs. I'm not. I'm not a city girl anymore. I am a suburban mother of three.

Yeah. And I have these doors, you know, I have these doors open, honey, because some of us are going through the change. You might not know about that.

Breathe with Denise said, you give such good advice. I'm here for everything. Thank you, girl. Thank you so much. Rebel said, I love you, Omar. Thank you so much.

Landy said, I love your videos. Thank you. Mimi said, my current boyfriend goes. Current boyfriend ghosted in the same sentence. Impossible. Ghosted me in the past. Do you think it's common for them to go skin? Yes. Once a ghost, always a ghost. Ask Casper, girl.

David's face said, not. No, Anwar. Going through the change of life, honey. Nine lives, girl. Nine lives.

Yeah. Okay, let me see. Are you a matchmaker? No, I'm not a matchmaker. I actually. If you're a black woman and you are thinking about matchmaking, don't do it. Oh, my God. Now I'm getting all of these people talking about they can hear crickets now. Should I close my door? Y' all need to be listening to me and not these crickets. Don't watch me get up. Oh, what's all that?

Did you catch it?

Did you catch all of it, honey? Did you catch it?

Don't watch me get up. Don't Watch me get up.

Some of us have it, some of us don't. Yes, honey, it's all there. And it's real, honey, it's real.

Someone said we show did. You can't have it, girl. You can't have it.

Trust.

Yeah.

Let me cross my legs because I'm a lady. All natural.

Yeah. Okay. Jordan said amor is too much and not enough at the same time. Yes. All that back hunting.

There's no BBL here.

Although if I must. Someone said, I threw it. Girl, you can't throw something that's already been caught.

Y' all might not know about that. No shade, girl. No shade. No shade. Okay.

Y' all gonna. Y' all gonna get me acting up. I can't do that tonight. I'm a professional.

I'm a professional.

Okay. All right. Okay. Someone said simply, Nate said, if you're in the test. Someone said, I threw it. Girl, you can't throw something that's already been caught. Talking stage. How often should you communicate via text or call? Well, first of all, I want us to understand something.

I want us to understand.

This mindset. You should never be in a talking stage with a man.

You should always be in courtship.

It's a different energy.

Courtship is allowing men to do all of this work and receiving when he does it. Talking is give and take. Give and take, 50, 50. Courtship is, I'm on my throne as a queen.

I'm not reaching out to him. I'm not initiating conversation. I'm not calling.

Being courted.

And if you want to understand what that looks like, I want you to remember the. Remember the time video of Michael Jackson and Iman is on the throne, and she has all of these men coming to entertain her.

Okay.

I don't talk. I am courted. It's a mindset. Get into it.

My homegirl said these black men I'm dating are always wanting me to do so much early on. Do nothing.

Do nothing.

The reason why you want to do nothing is there's such a thing called the IKEA effect. And the IKEA effect is this.

If you've ever gotten any, like, furniture from ikea, you have to build it yourself. And what they have, what they have researched and what they have learned is that people are holding on to IKEA furniture so much longer than other furniture, and it is because you have invested into it. It makes it harder to let it go. So when you are dating, I don't want you to invest anything into these men so that you can let them go easily. If you are calling and Texting. The effort that you're putting in will trick your brain into thinking that you like him more and that he likes you more. And that's when you play yourself.

Do you hear me, ladies?

Don't be Ikea, girl.

Also, don't be Wayfair.

Yeah.

Good, Good. So we do nothing, which. And this is one of the reasons why I'm a dating coach for black and brown women, because you're taught that I have to do twice as much to get half of everything, and in love, it is the exact opposite. You have to do half as much to get twice as far.

It's a mind f.

Everything that you've learned, you literally have to do the opposite of. If you're a smart and successful woman in this. In this world to get, like, to get your guy to be successful in dating.

It's crazy.

Okay.

Who caught that tea?

Don't do. Don't do a damn thing. You have no arms. You have no legs, girl. You're blind. You're mute, girl. You're Helen Keller and Stephen Hawking all rolled into one, girl. You're basically dead, girl. No shade.

Good. People are asking about my shirt. I got it online, girl. I'm one of those girls. I'm. I'm simple, girl. I see an ad girl, I just say, buy it, girl. PayPal it, girl.

Oh.

Yeah.

So I did a video today, and I was talking about how butterflies are not a good sign, and someone just said, learning butterflies are bad signs. Ruin me, girl. Don't let it ruin you.

Let's be. Let's. Let's understand it and move through.

Banana said there is a profile impersonating you. I received a request today. There are a lot of impersonator. That's what happens when you get big, girl. I'm a bit bigger than I was before. I have, like, six to eight impersonators, and they're always asking people for 2050 readings. Please understand. I read the girls for free every day. I'm never gonna ask you for money.

I'm. Girl, I'm rich. I'm a rich white woman.

So if you ever see something, someone saying, I want to do a reading for $2050? No, girl, that could never be me.

Girl. My programs are in the four figures. What would I look like asking for $20 on the side of a street girl? On the Internet, A beggar, homeless. That's not me. Trust.

Yeah, all right. Someone said my rich laugh. Well, I went to boarding school with all these rich girls, so that's where that laugh comes in, honey.

Stay fit with Shan said, l. I see what you have done for Amar. Please do it for me.

Okay. Got it. So someone said, I need explanation on butterflies. The butterflies, it's a trauma response. It's a stress response. It's your body telling you you're not safe. It's. It's the same feeling that you're feeling when you're about to go on stage or you're about to make a presentation in elementary school or junior high. You don't feel safe. You feel nervous, you're anxious. And what I want you to understand and know, because I get women in three to four women into relationships every week, the feeling that happens is a sense of calm and centeredness. It's not butterflies. So forget what you heard when the Disney movies and the romcoms and the Hallmark movies are talking about butterflies is for the birds. Is for the insects, actually. Right.

So why did I say no to matchmakers for black women? People are asking that question in here.

So what I know is that matchmakers have like a 5% success rate.

And that's for the white girls. So you already know.

You already know. It's girl. Multiply that times 1:10, girl. That's going to be your success rate. And here's the thing that you need to ask yourself. Have you ever met a black woman that has met?

So why did I say no to matchmakers for black women? People are asking that question in here.

So what I know is that matchmakers have like a 5% success rate.

And that's for the white girls. So you already know at her husband via a matchmaker.

Ask yourself that.

Come back to me. Don't. Don't even. Don't say anything about tocify.

Don't even use that word.

You already know. It's girl. Multiply that times 1:10, girl. That's going to be your success rate. And here's the thing that you need to ask yourself. Have you ever met a black woman that has met her husband via a matchmaker?

People are saying, the Kendra G. Show this, that. That is not matchmaking. That's online dating.

Ask yourself that.

Come back to me. Don't. Don't even. Don't say anything about tocify.

Don't even use that word.

Yeah.

All right, let me see what y' all.

Are talking about and asking about. Lol. How do I go about dating intellectual men of color when I primarily grew up in the suburbs? Well, first of all, date everybody, girl.

Date absolutely everyone. And no shade, girl. But if you are a black woman from the suburbs. If you have a septum piercing.

People are saying, if you have braids with a little bit of new growth, if you roll your denim jacket sleeves up and the Kendra G. Show, that is not matchmaking. That's online. D.

Yeah.

All right, let me see what y'. All. You're not supposed. You're probably supposed to be with a white man, no shade.

So catch that tea.

All they're talking about and asking about. Lol. How do I go about dating intellectual men of color when I primarily grew up in the suburbs? Well, first of all, date everybody, girl.

Date absolutely everyone.

Don't. Don't shoot the messenger.

And no shade, girl. But if you are a black woman from the suburbs, if you have a septum piercing, if you have braids with a little bit of new growth, if you roll your denim jacket sleeves up.

My experience.

My experience.

If you got that big curly wig.

White, you're not supposed. You're probably supposed to be with a white man, no shade.

So catch that tea.

Don't. Don't shoot the messenger.

If you have.

Micro locks.

White.

No, you can't have a little new growth, girl.

My experience.

My experience.

If you got that, you got big ass glasses on, girl. A big curly wig.

White.

If you have white.

If you got shorter hair kind of like mine or a little bit thicker like Lupita white.

Not regular locks, girl. Micros.

Micro.

Micro locks.

White.

No, you can't have a little new growth, girl.

You got big ass glasses on, girl. Relax.

Are y' all catching this tea?

White.

If you got shorter hair kind of like mine or a little bit thicker like Lupita white.

Not regular locks, girl. Micros.

Micro. Don't shoot the messenger, honey. Don't shoot him. Don't shoot her.

Yeah, honey sister lock squirrel.

Someone said you got me with the denim jacket rolled up. Relax.

Are y' all catching this tea.

Girl? It's giving suburban. If you listen to. If you listen to heavy metal.

Rock. If you're an artsy girl.

White.

Don'T be mad at me. Don't shoot the messenger, honey. Don't shoot him. Don't shoot her.

Yeah, honey. Sisterlock, squirrel.

Most y' all are, like focused on Someone said, you got me with the denim jacket rolled up black. And it just might not be your destiny, girl.

Someone said, elmar, please, not right now.

Yes, honey. If you listen to pink girl, white girl, it's giving suburban. If you listen to. If you listen to heavy metal.

Rock. If you're an artsy girl.

White.

Don'T be mad at me.

Most Of y' all are, like, focused on.

Now if you listen to K pop Asian.

Someone said short, relaxed hair, girl, black, black, Long weave girl, black, black. And it just might not be your destiny, girl.

Now if you have a.

Someone said, amore, please, not right now.

Yes, honey. If you listen to pink girl white. If you have a. Like a kind of a kinky, curly, long weave girl Latino.

Latino.

Yeah.

Now if you listen to K pop Asian.

TT said, I trust your statistics.

Someone said short, relaxed hair girl, black, black. Long weave girl, black.

Girl lovable. Said blue locks, girl alien.

Now if you have a.

Silk press black.

If you have a, like a kind of a kinky.

Girl country, curly, long weave girl Latino.

Latino.

Yeah.

Rock.

Bumpkin white.

Okay. Titi said, I trust your statistics.

Lil Rennie said, I feel like I look like I exclusively date black men. How do I change that?

Girl lovable. Said blue locks, girl alien.

Silk press black.

I just. I just gave you a lot of different things, girl. Different haircuts, hairstyles.

Different looks.

Girl country, all that.

Okay, all right, let's. Let's get into the dating, honey.

Rock.

Bumpkin white.

Okay.

Lil Rennie said, I feel like I look like I exclusively date black men. How do I change that?

Someone's. I think this is the perfect way to describe me. So unseriously serious. 100%. Actually, 99%.

Do I recommend IG pages for interracial dating? Girl, I don't even recommend IG pages for me.

I just. I just gave you a lot of different things, girl. Different haircuts, hairstyles.

Different looks.

All that.

Okay, all right, let's. Let's get into the data.

MK said, eating Honey.

Recall if you blessed us with a video on this. I did, girl. I did. I was acting a fool one night. You have to understand that a lot of the videos I do is just based on the. That I talk in these lives, girl.

Yeah. Someone said, are you reading the questions from the box? No, guy, don't do that. Put in the chat.

Someone's. I think this is the perfect way to describe me. So unseriously serious. 100%. Actually, 99%.

Do I recommend IG pages for Inter.

Okay, people are asking me, what do I mean when I say stress men out? Because that was a video that I did today about. Here's the thing.

Men will bond to you, chemically speaking, when they are solving problems and they are stressed. Racial dating. Girl, I don't even recommend IG pages for me.

Yeah.

MK said, can't recall if you blessed us with a video on this. I did, girl. I did. I was acting a fool one night. You have to understand that a lot of the videos I do is just based on the shit that I talk. And the way that you can do this in a healthy way is.

You can.

Set boundaries.

Because when you set boundaries, it's going to be stressful for him because he's always going to be trying to figure out, am I these lives, girl?

Yeah. Someone said, are you reading the questions from the box? No, guy, don't do that. Put in the chat.

Okay? People are asking me what do I my in boundaries? Am I not in boundaries? Am I in boundaries? Am I not in boundaries? Mean when I say stress men out. Cuz that was a video that I did today about. Here's the thing.

Men will bond, okay?

It's a. It's an internal challenge for him. And he likes that.

Rates of cortisol, which is stress, but also that increases his testosterone. And he needs testosterone and vasopressin to bond and to fall in love.

Okay, boundary up. This is what I help my clients do. And this is something. And I want to talk to my black and brown ladies out there because this is something that is really important and sometimes really difficult to do to you, chemically speaking, when they are solving problems and they are stressed. And the way that you can do this in a healthy way is.

You can.

Set boundaries.

Because when you set boundaries, it's going to be stressful for him because he's all. Because most of us don't grow up with healthy boundaries. We don't have any boundaries when we're growing up. So it's hard to understand and, or establish them in our adult relationships. So this is one of the things that we do in my program so that you don't have a problem with the boundaries, girl, okay? How else can we be very like stress men out in a healthy way?

Always going to be trying to figure out am I in boundaries? Am I not in boundaries? Am I in boundaries? Am I not in boundaries? Okay.

It's a. It's an internal challenge for him and he likes that rates of cortisol, which is stress, but also being vulnerable.

Tamara said, I still don't have any. Girl, Go to the link in my bio and book a call right now so you can get in one of my programs so you can learn how to set boundaries.

Someone said women still want to live in it. That increases his testosterone and he needs testosterone and vasopressin to bond and to fall in love.

Okay? Fairy tale dating, boundary up. This is What I help my clients do. And this is something. And I want to talk to my black and brown ladies out there because this is something that is really important and sometimes really difficult to do. Love right now is. It's not. It's not a fairy tale.

So I was talking about vulnerability.

When you're sit. When you're being vulnerable, you are challenging him to be.

To have to like, be emotionally sensitive and hold space for you. And this is not something that men. Because most of us don't grow up with healthy boundaries. We don't have any boundaries when we're growing up. So it's hard to understand and. Or establish them in our adult relationships. So this is one of the things that we do in my program so that you don't have a problem with the boundaries. Girl. Okay. How out are conditioned and programmed to do that is stressful for men.

So now he's like, oh, my God. Okay, something's wrong with her. How can I make it better?

So you will activate his masculine. When you say things like, yeah, when this happened, it made me really sad. Else can we be very like stress men out in a healthy way.

Being vulnerable.

Now his.

Tamara said, I still don't have any. Girl. Go to the link in my bio and book a call right now so I can. You can get in one of my programs so you can. Masculine is activated. And now he wants to do whatever he can to make you feel better because pleasing you pleases him.

But again, many of us don't know how to be vulnerable because.

Emotional safety was something that made learn how to set boundaries.

Someone said women still want to live in a fairy tale. Dating love right now is. It's not. It's not a fairy tale.

So I would be. We didn't have or our vulnerability wasn't welcome or celebrated when we were growing up.

Yeah.

This is what we do in my program. Okay. Someone said they use it against you. They use it against you. You have to set a boundary and you got to leave. Someone said I was vulnerable and he hated it. Perfect. We get to let him go.

Talking about vulnerability when you're s. When you're being vulnerable, you are challenging him to be.

Michelle said, can you speak to dating coach? You have to, like, be emotionally sensitive and hold space for you. And this is not something that m. Is preying on the vulnerable. Well.

Here'S what I know in our condition and program to do that is. And I might get a lot of shit for this, but I do think it's true.

Dating coaches in general are Very manipulative people because they study the dynamics of human behavior and they know how to. They literally are telling people how to get what they want in these relationships. Bestful for men.

So now he's like, oh my God. Okay, something's wrong with her. How can I make it better?

So you will activate his masculine when you.

Right. So this is. Some say things like yeah, when this happened it made me really, really sad. Something that you are going to have to understand. So for example, there are some dating coaches out here that purposely yell while they're talking.

That's a manipulation tactic. What.

He is doing when he does that is he is literally trying to bring you back in.

Now when you were a little girl and your dad was yelling at you, masculine is activated. And now he wants to do whatever he can to make you feel better because please. And it. It forces you to listen to what he is saying. In the same way a daughter would be forced to listen to her father. As an example you pleases him.

Of how manipulation happens with certain dating coaches.

Okay.

But again many of us don't know how to be vulnerable because.

There are some dating coaches that, that use their physical appearance to make you listen to them.

Whether they have dreads.

Emotional safety was something that maybe we didn't have or our vulnerability wasn't welcome or celebrated. Whether they put the video right here. So all you see is their big chest. And they. When we were growing up.

Know they wear shirts like this so you can see their muscles.

This is all manipulation.

What they're doing is they are trying to. They're trying to be.

This is what we do in my program. Okay. Someone said they use it against you. They use it against you. You have to set a boundary and you got to leave. Someone said I was vulnerable and he hated it. Perfect. We get to let him go.

Surrogate boyfriend for you in a para social relationship.

Okay.

So but you didn't hear that from Michelle said. Can you speak to dating code to me?

Okay. Just praying on the vulnerable. Well.

Here'S what I know.

Here's the thing.

I try to use my powers for good girl. I'm like one of the charm girls.

And I might get a lot of shit for this, but I do think it's true.

Date.

I just try to come with the facts. I try to come from a place in coaches in general are very manipulative people because a good, good intention. I want to help all black women. This is something that is important to me. This is something that I'm passionate about.

I try to Keep it real. And I do. They study the dynamics of human behavior and they know how to. They literally are telling people how to get what they want in these relationships.

Right. So this is. I try to do it in a very compassionate way.

So that's my. That's my intention.

All of that.

So those are some of the archetypes of dating coaches that are out there. Maybe I should do a video about this.

Something that you are going to have to understand. So for example, let's talk about some of the women.

There are a couple of different women out there. Certain archetypes of women. There are some dating coaches out here that purposely yell while they're talking.

That's a manipulation tactic. What men who. Who are dating coaches. One of them is the fembot.

Who is he is doing when he does that is he is literally trying to bring you back into when you were a little girl and your dad was yelling at you. Trying to make sure that you are overly in your feminine energy.

To the point where you're losing your own power. You'll get a guy.

But will you get the right guy is the question or a guy that and it. It forces you to listen to what he is saying in the same way a daughter would be forced to listen to her father as an exist does what he wants.

Ample of how manipulation happens with certain dating coaches.

Okay.

Okay. Let me stop on that. Okay.

There are some dating coaches that use their physical appearance to make you listen to them.

Whether they have dreads.

You also have a lot of dating coaches out here that are single and there's nothing wrong with being single. But I do think it is very important because dating is a process that whether they put the video right here. So all you see is their big chest and they actually helps you prepare for being in a relationship. They wear shirts like this so you can see their muscles.

This is all manipulation.

What they're doing is.

And so for people that are not in a relationship that don't see from A to Z sometimes that is very. It's a very hard thing to do.

So a good number of these women they are trying to. She's. They're trying to be as men that are dating coaches are not in relationships. Surrogate boyfriend for you in a para social rel.

And this is important.

Relationship.

Okay.

So. But you didn't hear that. Okay. So with that said thoughts on Shira 7 love Shira 7 me.

Okay.

I think we're aligned on like 75% of the things that we talk about.

Here's the thing.

I try to use my powers for good girl. I'm like one of the charm.

I think that I'm girls.

I just try to come with the facts. I try to come from a place when individuals have really hard lives and have never had security.

Like if you think about Maslow's hierarchy of needs like security is like the second level.

A good, good intention. I want to help all black women. This is something.

And I think that she thinks about that is important to me. This is something that I'm passionate about.

I try to keep it real and I do safety through financial.

And I think a lot of women need this and I think this speaks. I try to do it in a very compassionate way.

So that's my. That's specifically for black and brown women. My intention.

All of that. What I will say is that I'm more focused on love relationships.

She.

So those are some of the argument might be more focused on more transactional relationships.

The woman is hella smart.

The types of dating coaches that are out there. Maybe I should do a video about this.

Let's talk about some of the women.

Yeah.

There are a couple of different women out there. Certain archetypes of women.

Okay. What dating questions do you have?

Men who. Who are dating coaches. One of.

Let's get back to that because I want to help you. All thoughts on Love is one. I don't really watch that show a lot because love is not blind. No shade femme is the femme bot.

Who is trying to make sure that we want to think that it is and it's not. And I get a lot of shit on my. On my socials when I start talking about attractiveness levels. But it's an important part of you are overly in your feminine energy.

To the of dating.

It is a marketplace point where you're losing your.

And you've got to make sure that your scores are where they need to be.

Your own power. You'll get a guy.

But will you get the right guy is the question. Or a guy that just does what he wants.

Okay.

Right. And I'm not just talking about physically. I'm also talking about intellectually, emotionally and even sometimes financially. ADWA said. I'm so glad you said it. Love can't be blind. Yeah.

It's a market.

It's.

Okay, let me stop on that. It's a market.

And I think we would all be playing ourselves if we didn't say that. You.

And I got a lot of earlier this year because I was telling women.

You gotta know where your weight class is and Statistically speaking, most of us are between a three and a seven.

You also have a lot of dating coaches out here that are single. And there's nothing wrong with being single. But I do think it is very important because dating is a process that actually helps you prepare for being in a relationship.

And so for people that are not in a relationship that don't see from.

And that's no shame. I thought it was A to Z. Sometimes that is very. It's a very hard thing to do.

So a good number of these women that are dating coaches are not in relationships. Was an eight. And then I went to the gay club. Girl. I was a five or a six. No shade. And I had to get real with myself.

Yes. Men usually like sevens, girl. Men, you think? I think a lot of women think that men want a 9 or 10. No, a 9 or a 10 will make them insecure. Will make them. Because she has everybody wanting her. So he's never going to feel like he actually, truly has her.

And this is important.

No, that's t. People are saying, no, you look a 10. Go to these gay club.

Let's go. They're all models.

Girl, I'm a five or six. I'm a straight seven, but a gay five or six. Okay. So with that said, thoughts on Shira 7? Love Shira 7.

I think we're aligned on like.

Yeah, girl, you want. That's why I keep on saying you want medium handsome guys. You don't want a 9 or a 10. The gag of 75% of the things that we talk about.

Well, dating online is that everybody's going for the 9 and 10.

I think that.

Get a medium handsome girl, get a seven. Medium ugly is a six. Medium handsome is a seven. Catch that tea. When individuals have really hard lives and have never had security.

How can we increase? I have a. I have a two. Like, if you think about Maslow's hierarchy of needs, like security is like the second level.

Two part podcast about how to glow up on the get your guy coaching podcast right now.

Check it out. We talk about financial, we talk about career, we talk about social, we talk about physical. We talk about it all.

And I think that she thinks about safety through financial.

And I think a lot of women need this, and I think this speaks.

Okay, where's your podcast, girl? It's on Apple, Spotify, anywhere where you listen to podcasts. Okay. Someone said, would you recommend discussing politics on the first date? If so, how would you recommend going about that? If you're a black woman, one of the first questions that you probably want to ask on a date is, what do you think about that? Specifically for black and brown women?

What I will say is that I'm more focused on love, relationships.

Kamala Harris, candidacy.

You will. You will learn everything that you need to know about how a man thinks about black women. Smart and successful ones at that.

Okay, that should be one of your dating questions. In 2024, you might be more focused on more transactional relationships.

The woman is hella smart.

Did we catch that, T?

Someone said Jonathan Majors is a three or four, right?

Yeah.

Well, not for me. Girl, that white nose, you know what that means?

Thick, baby. Thick. When it's thick. Can't be a three or four in my eyes. No shade, girl.

There's no way an 8 or a 9 could ever be a 3 or 4 in my eyes.

Okay, what dating questions do you have?

Let's get back to that because I want to help you. All thoughts on Love is Blind? I don't really watch that show a lot because love is not blind. No shade.

Let me get a sip of that.

Honey. Girth gives you birth.

So, ladies, I had to. I had to. I had to let go of my Gatorade. Dominicans. Too much sugar. She's on her health journey now. It's all about the glow up. So what does she do now? Kombucha. We want to think that it is and it's not. And I get a lot of shit on my. On my socials when I start talking about attractiveness levels, but it's an important part. Girl, I. Girl, you know what? I traded in my Dominican Gatorade for a white vegan. Kombucha. Now I'm into white vegans. Girl who shop at Trader Joe's and Whole Foods.

What does skinny big nose mean? Girl, dating.

It is a marketplace.

And you've got to make sure that your scores are where they need to be.

Well, skinny, big nose, no shade. Some of our Jewish brothers have that. Skinny and long.

Yeah.

Okay.

Right. And I'm not just talking about physically. I'm also talking about intellectually, emotionally, and even sometimes financially.

Girl, the rainbow. You gotta date them all, girl. Date them all. Date them all. If you don't have a white guy on your roster, if you don't have a brown guy on your roster, that means Middle Eastern ADWA said. I'm so glad you said it. Love can't be blind. Yeah.

It's a market.

It's Hispanic. If you don't have a white like. And white to me is like Caucasian. But also East Asian, because some of these Asian men are whiter than white guys.

And then a black guy on your roster. That's what it looks like.

Okay. Yes, honey, keep tapping. Thank you all so much for the 52,000 market.

And I think we would all be playing ourselves if we didn't say that you and I got a lot of earlier this year because I was telling women.

You got to know where your weight class is.

And statistically speaking, most of us are between a 3 and a 7.

I spill a lot of tea here.

Back. Ginger said two similar comments from men. You got that, Kamala. Look, Congresswoman. Look, girl. He wants you to be his president, girl. That's what he's saying. He says he wants you to rule over him.

And that's no shame. I thought it was an 8, and then I went to the gay club. Girl, I was a five or a six shade, and I had to get real with myself.

Yes. Men usually like sevens, girl. Men, you think? I think a lot of women think that men want a 9 or 10. No.

And where can we find enough men so we can stand to have a roster 100%?

A lot of us, like I was saying before on these apps, we're going for the 9 or tens. I want you to 6 and above. I want you to date everybody. I want you to. A lot of y' all are not dating. You have to know a 9 or a 10 will make them insecure. Will make them. Because she has everybody wanting of her. So he's never gonna feel like he actually, truly has her.

No, that's like, get into the movement and the momentum of dating. Let some people court you, take you out, get used to being courted.

I'm tired of people saying, I don't want pink meat.

Someone said, use a black tea. People are saying, no, you look attentive. Go to these gay condom. You wrong for that. Not all of it's pink. And the fact that you think that is insanity in 2024.

The reason, if you're saying that it's pink meat, you need to try it out so that you understand that most of it's not pink. Clubs, girl, they're all models.

Girl, I'm a five or six. I'm a straight seven, but a gay five or six. If you are a real expert, you know that it's red.

Tomato red.

If you're doing it right, girl, no shade. Some of y' all don't know how to do that. Catch that? Okay. All right, let me talk about dating, because y' all Are.

I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it.

Yeah, girl, you want. That's why I keep on saying you want medium handsome guys. You don't want a 9 or a 10. The gag about dating online is that everybody's going for the 9 and 10.

Someone said, I learned something today. I hope so, girl. I hope so. What's the name of your podcast? It's called the get your guy coaching podcast. Katie said, thoughts on dating in your 50s. So a couple of things.

Get a medium handsome, girl get a 7. Medium ugly is a 6. The thing about dating and I, I did a medium handsome is a seven. Catch that tea.

How can we increase? I have a, I have a seminar with my, what I call my seasoned ladies in my program.

Like we were talking about.

Kamala Harris and politics. But you're going to have to talk about specific topics. You're going to need to talk about his health because most of most of these two part podcasts about how to glow up on the get your guy coaching podcast right now.

Check it out. We talk about financial, we talk about career, we talk about social, we talk about physical, we talk about it all.

These guys are sick. They're not telling you because they have horrible diets and they don't take care of themselves. If you're 50 plus, one of the best things that you can do is get yourself in a gym and work out. And if you can't work out, girl, walk. Walk down, number one. Number two, ask them about their health.

Okay. Where's your podcast, girl? It's on Apple, Spotify, anywhere where you listen to.

Podcast. Okay. Someone said a lot of these girls are getting caught up in becoming hospice wives where you're caretaking. For these men that came. Do you recommend discussing politics on the first date? If so, how would you recommend going about that into the courtship? Sick. Don't be afraid to ask that question.

Okay.

Number three, ask him about his retirement plan. If he doesn't have a retirement plan, then he. If you're a black woman, one of the first questions that you probably want to ask on a, on a date is what do you think about that Kamala Harris candidacy?

You will probably doesn't have a retirement account.

Catch that tea.

Also, you want to be talking about things that you want to do after retirement.

Right? If he says, yeah, I want to, I want to travel after I retire. He should be traveling now. He's not. You will learn everything that you need to know about how a man thinks about black women. Smart and Successful ones at that.

Okay, that should be one of your dating questions in 2024. Not going to change his lifestyle just because he's retired. If this.

Is something that is important for him, he's doing it now.

Okay.

So this is what you want to be kind of looking for in your 50s. Girl.

Did we catch that t?

Someone said jonathan majors is a three or four, right?

Okay, let me see. Well, not for me. Girl. That white nose. You know what that means?

Yeah. This is what I want to let you all know. Y' all are getting mad at these men, and you're like, oh, my God. They're da da da da da da.

Most of them will die alone. And that is their karma.

And if you go to these nursing homes, thicc baby thicc. Talk to the nurses, they'll tell you. Most of the guys that are there. Black men all alone when it's thick. Can't be a three or four in my eyes. No shade, girl.

There'S no way an 8 or a 9 could ever be a 3 or 4 in my eyes.

Because they were community d. Because they were assholes and jerks to everybody. Let me get a sip of that.

They weren't good fathers. They abandoned their children and now they have no one.

Don't be that girl that has to take in.

Honey. Girth gives you birth.

So, ladies, I had to. This person.

You're. Some people are saying it's sad. No, this is the way of the world. This is karma.

I had to. I had to let go of my gatorade. Dominicans. Too much sugar. She's on her health journey now. It's all about the glow up. So what does she do now? Kombucha.

Women have people around them when they're older because they've cultivated those. Girl, I. Girl, you know what? I traded in my Dominican gay relationships because they've done something for another person.

Sincerely, Heidi said. Yep, I'm a nerd for a white vegan kombucha. Now I'm into white vegans, girl, who I can testify.

So.

When you're date, I'm saying shop at trader joe's and whole foods. All of this because when you're dating right now and a guy is an asshole to you or a jerk.

What does skinny big nose mean, girl? Skinny big nose, no shade. Some of our jewish brothers have that. Skinny and long. Realize that he'll get his. That you don't have to tell him about himself because his karma will.

Okay. Someone said, that's gonna be my father. Girl. That's a therapy session.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. So people are asking about bdb. And no, I didn't say bde.

Yeah.

Okay.

I said bdb, which means between date behavior. This is what happens between date one, day two. Between date two, date three. Right. All of that.

You want to be looking for a consistent.

Girl. The rainbow. You got to date them all, girl. Date them all. Date them all. If you don't have a white guy on your roster, if you don't have a brown guy on your roster, that means Middle Eastern communication. Whether it's every day or every other day of reaching out.

Do you save their lives? I like this. Yes. Hispanic. If you don't have a white like. And white to me is like Caucasian, but also east. I saved them. They're always on my YouTube channel.

Okay.

Asian, because some of these Asian men are wider than white guys.

Okay, let me see what y' all are talking about.

And then a black guy on your roster. That's what it looks like.

Okay. Yes, honey, keep tapping. Thank you all so much for the 52,000.

Someone said, I'm a paramedic. I see it every day. I work in the fire department. I have seen them have strokes, retire some likes. I spill a lot of tea here.

Black Ginger said.

How to politely remove a man off your Two similar comments from men. You got that, Kamala? Look after he's been courting you, let him know it's been great getting to know you. But unfortunately, I'm not feeling a connection. But I want to wish you the best of luck.

Congresswoman. Look, girl, he wants you to be his president, girl. That's what he's saying. He says he wants you to rule over him.

Kiori said any insight on a man chasing you and then playing once they get.

And can we find enough men so we can stand to have a roster 100 you.

A lot of us like I would say there's a difference between a man who pursues soothes you and a man that chases you. And before on these apps, we're going for the niner tens. I want you to 6 and above. I want you to date everybody. I want you to.

A man that chases you.

Will do things on his pace. Now, a lot of y' all are not dating. You have to yours.

Never engage with a man who chases like get into the movement and the momentum of dating. Let some people court you, take you out, get used to being.

You want to focus on a man who pursues courted.

I'm tired of people saying I don't want pink Meat.

Yeah.

Someone said use a black condom. You wrong for that. Not all of it's pink. And the fact that you think that is insanity in 2024.

The reason. If you're saying that it's pink meat, you need to try it out so that you understand that most of it's not pink.

So, yeah, guess what? When I am 8 years old and I'm playing tag and I chase someone and I tag them and they're it, I'm done with them. And that's how these men are treating you when they chase you. Don't gag on the attention. You can get attention from any guy.

If you are a real expert, you know that it's red. It's not that hard.

Tomato red.

If you're doing it right, girl. No shade. Some of y' all don't know how to do that. Catch that. Okay, cats. His pace. Set a boundary on what you want your pace to be. And if he doesn't respect that, he's out.

All right, let me talk about dating because y' all are. They call me the love umpire in my program because I'm always saying that these guys are out.

I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it.

Trapping is my hobby. Said Amore. I don't know if people tell you how amazing you are and your energy is. Thank you.

Appreciate that.

Someone said, I learned something today. I hope so, girl. I hope so. Butterfly said, how do you control your feelings? I've never dated because I'm so scared to get attached. What's the name of your podcast? It's called the get your guy coaching podcast. Katie said, thoughts on dating in your 50s? So a couple of things.

You gotta know who you are, and I don't mean that in a cliche way because we have the thing about dating, and I. I did a. A people who are.

Like, have a more anxious style.

Because.

You know, they did seminar with my. What I call my seasoned ladies in my program when, like, we were talking about.

Kamala Harris in politics. But. But you. They had love. It was taken away. They had love. They're going to have to talk about specific topics. You're going to need to talk about his health because it was taken away when they were growing up, and so they need the constant reassurance. If you are that girl.

Then you're going to actually have to go super slow. Most of. Most of these. Anything fast, there's going to be too many up and downs and you're going to freak out. That's what I'M saying you have to like know yourself. So you need to know, am I a bit more anxious? Am I avoidant? Meaning like I'm running away. I'm not. These guys are sick and they're not telling you because they have horrible diets and they don't take care of themselves. If you're 50 plus, one of the best things that you can do is get yourself in a gym and work out. And if you can't work out, girls, walk, walk down number one. Number two, ask engaging in an emotional way. And if you don't have the experience, then you need to look at your friendships to get a good sense of of like what that is.

What your some about their health.

What your procliv.

Okay, what does pursuing look like? It looks like.

One to two dates a week. Chasing looks like three plus dates a week.

A lot of these girls are getting caught up in becoming hospice wives where you're caretaking for these men that came into the courtship. Sick.

Pursuing looks like. Don't be afraid to ask that question.

Okay.

Calls one to two times a week. Chasers, call every day.

Number three, ask him about his retirement plan. If he doesn't have a retirement plan, then he Pursuers, I'm texting you once, maybe twice a day.

Chasers, I'm texting you three times or more.

Probably doesn't have a retirement account.

Guys who text a lot. Catch that tea.

Also, you want to be talking about things that.

I'm 95% sure will never take you out, will never ask you out, you want to do after retirement.

Cuz they're doing it for the emotional support.

Guys that are about their business. They don't have time to dilly dally via text. I know that's right. If he says, yeah, I want to, I want to travel after I retire, he should be traveling now. He's not hard for many of us to think about or believe.

But guys that are about their business and making money.

Hey, do you want to go out? Good. Thursday, 6pm let's do it.

You aren't going to change his lifestyle just because he's retired. If this is something that is important for him, he's doing it now.

Might get a text Wednesday night saying we still on.

Okay.

So this is what you want to be kind of looking for in your 50s, girl.

But like a lot of y' all are like, oh my God, he's not texting me every day.

Girl.

If he's texting you every day, he doesn't have a job.

Okay, let me see.

Yeah, this is what I want to let you all know y' all are getting. And if he's texting you every day and he has a job, he's not good at it and he's not going to get a promotion.

Unemployed, underemployed. Either way, I don't want it. And I don't want it for you mad at these men and you're like, oh, my God, they're assholes. Da da da da da da.

Most of them will die alone. And that is their karma.

It's giving slumber party Slumber party tea. And you're not my best friend. I don't even know you yet. Get dude. And if you go to these nursing homes.

Talk to the nurses, they'll tell you most of the guys that are there black.

Yeah. Men all alone. Don't ever trust a man that texts you more than three times a day.

Sir, what are you doing with your life?

Because they were community d. Because they were assholes and jerks to everybody.

This reminds me. I want to share something with you that I think is very important. They weren't good fathers. They abandoned their children and now they have no one.

Don't be that girl that has to take in.

Do not text men before this person 9:00am do not text men after 9:00pm.

It'S too much access.

Please understand if you text.

You'Re. Some people are saying it's sad. No, this is the way of the world. This is karma.

Sing a man around 10pm.

Women have people around them when they're older because they've cultivated those relationships because they done something for another person.

Sincerely, Heidi said. Yep, I'm a nurse. He thinks you ready. You ready for something that you giving girl six vibes. And the girls who know no.

Boundary issues. Boundaries.

Someone said, I think I enjoy the attention. I can testify.

Get the attention somewhere else.

Yeah.

So.

When you're date I'm saying but a lot of people be like, oh my God, he's taking all of this because when you're dating right now and a guy is an to you or a jerk same me so much it means that he likes me.

Don't do that, girl. Don't do that. Yeah. Someone said if you like attention girl get realize that he'll get his that you don't have to tell him about himself because his get a puppy. They'll give you a lot of attention.

Karma will.

Okay. Someone said that's gonna be my fault.

Girl, that's a therapy session. You work third shift and want to talk after 10pm That's. That's another thing, girl. But girl, most people don't work that third shift. Salonina.

Yeah.

Bonjour Sava. Cuckoo. Okay. Three month date wants to talk after ghosting for one month. Initially.

Yeah. Okay. So people are asking about bdb. He said he needed time to think what to do.

Would your future husband do? This is the question that I would ask you. And no, I didn't say bde.

And I am pretty sure that the answer is no.

I said bdb, which means between date behavior. This is what happens between date date one, day two. Between date two, date three. Right. All of. As someone who gets women, three to four women into relationships every week, I will tell you this. You got to beat them off with a stick.

You gotta that.

You want karate, Kiddum. Girl.

Give me my space.

I'd be looking for a consistent commute. Right?

Yeah. Communication. Whether it's every day or every other day of reaching out.

So. Yeah. Do you save their lives? I like this. Yes. That's tea, girl. That's tea.

I'm giving you a lot of tea here because I want you to succeed. But if you want to go deeper into this work, if you want. I saved them. They're always on my YouTube channel.

To have.

More knowledge. This is like 5 to 10% of the of what we do in my program.

Okay.

If you want to like heal in a deeper way, book a consultation call. The link is in my balance. The link is in my bio. Okay.

Okay. Let me see what y' all are talking about.

We'll see if it's a good fit. Like, it doesn't mean that you're. We're gonna put any pressure on you to make a decision.

We'll see if it's good fit. I. I don't. Someone said. I'm a paramedic. I see it every day. I work in the fire department. I have seen them have strokes, retire. Except everybody. I accept women that are ready to be coached and to get into a great relationship. What's the name of the YouTube channel? Dating Coach Anwar. Same name on Tick.

Tock. Same name on IG girl.

Okay.

How to politely remove a man off your right. So thanks for being our friend, girl. I try my best. Foster, after he's been courting you, let him know.

Tamara said, did your prices increase already show did this week. I came back from the doctor, honey, and I increased those. Those prices immediately. Just like I said I would. I'm a man of my word.

Now. It's been great getting to know you, but unfortunately I'm not feeling a connection, but I want to wish you the best of luck.

Cdl said, Love your podcast too. Thank you, girl. I appreciate it. Poison Ivy said. Anwar, is it a bad idea for me 26 to ask my tutor 45 out for coffee? Yes. Why? Because one, we don't.

Kiori said, any insight on a man chasing you and then playing once they get you.

Ask men out. And two, girl, he's twice your age. What is he going to do with you? Teach you how to drive? No. Shade.

There'S a difference between a man who pursues you and a man that chases you. Don't do that. What happens, and this happens a lot, even at work, is when you have a man that has a little bit of the power dynamic is off or different.

A man that chases you.

Will do things on his pace, not yours.

Never engage with the man who chases. You will actually like start to have feelings for him because you like feeling safe under the power, you might not actually like him as much. So I want to offer that. Yeah, we're kikiing and we're having fun, but there are things that are happening inside that.

We got.

You want to focus on a man who pursues.

Cut it off.

What if he's a professor?

Yeah.

So. Well then, girl, get that a. No, I'm just kidding.

Yeah. Guess what? When I am 8 years old and I'm playing tag and I.

Honey, I'm all about that gpa, girl, chase someone and I tag them and they're. Especially if you're trying to get to grad school, girl, every A counts. Catch that.

Raquel said, you're mean. Love you. They're it. I'm done with them. And that's how these men are treating you when they chase you. Don't gag on the attention.

You can get attention from any guy.

Oh, Lord. Yes, ma'. Am. Pretty chopstick set. Let's tap it up, ladies. Foreign Reyna said, you get on my nerves. Somebody's got to, girl. Someone said that kombucha I drank gave me a little buzz. Honey, that's why I'm on it now. Girl, it's not that hard.

Catch his pace. Set a boundary on what you want your pace to be. And if he doesn't respect that, he's out.

Buzz.

Okay, let me see what my IG girls are talking about. Yes, honey. They call me the love umpire in my program because I'm always saying that these guys are out.

Love the A's. What about long distance couture cake? What about it, girl? What's the question.

Trapping is my hobby, said Anwar. I don't know if people tell you how amazing you are and your energy is. Thank you.

Appreciate that.

Butterfly said, how do you control your feelings? I've never dated because I'm so scared to get attached. Age range gap, I would say plus 10 years, minus five years. Now, if you're 50 plus plus and you have a younger spirit and you look amazing like most black women do, then I say five plus, minus ten.

Okay. Cat said dating Korean man.

Do it if you want, girl. Do it if you want.

Someone said, dating a French man.

Do it if you want, girl. Do it if you want.

On that wee wee, girl.

Okay.

You got to know who you are. And I don't mean that in a cliche way because we have. Yes, honey. She says you want to go to the Olympics. People who are.

Like, have a more anxious style.

Because.

You know they didn't go for the gold, girl. Go for the gold.

Okay, I have a serious question, girl. Yes, honey. That toothpick to mic transition. Crazy.

Question for the girls since we're getting closer to 12 o' clock here on the east coast and my normal Cinderella starts to become cinder fella.

Ladies in the chat, let me know cut or uncut? I'm doing some research here. What's T? They had love. It was taken away. They had love. They was taken away when they were growing up. And so they need the constant reassurance. If you are that girl.

Then you're going to actually have to go super slow. Anything fast. There's going to be too many up and down, girl. Is it. Are we giving cut or are we giving uncut? What's our, as we say in. In here in Montreal, preference?

Okay, I'm saying 95% cut, 5% uncut. Sorry. To those uncut men.

Someone said uncut feels better. Oops.

If you have to say cut, what then, girl? Get out of this live right now.

Okay, now the uncuts are coming. Coming a little bit late, but they're coming nonetheless.

All right, ladies.

Someone. Okay, now the uncuts are really trying to come through. Y' all were late to the game, girl.

And you're gonna freak out. That's what I'm saying. You have to, like, know yourself. So you need to know, am I a bit more anxious? Am I avoidant? Meaning, like I'm running away. I'm not engaging in an emotional way. And if you don't have the experience, then you need to look at your friendship. All right, honeys. To get a good sense of like what. That is.

What you are.

All right, some. Some of y' all are getting out of control.

Where's my cr.

Okay, okay, so let's get back to dating because honey, y', all.

What your proclivity is.

Okay, what does pursuing look like? It looks like.

Y' all need to eat.

Y' all need to eat. She needs to eat down there.

Okay. One to two dates a week. Chasing looks like three plus dates a week.

October said cut for all races. I'm very demure. Yeah, it's giving equality.

I guess that is the dream of MLK and you are the embodiment of that.

Okay.

Let me see what, what the girls are giving, what questions you have. Can you give advice on when to tell a man you're dating you have kids? It should be on your online profiles. Definitely. And you should let them know like on the first. On the first date. But that's part of your everyday life.

I think letting men know that you have kids is such a great evaluator about whether he is serious or not with you.

Pursuing. Looks like.

A lot of women, a lot of women that I talk to that are single mothers are feeling like, oh my God, I, I don't, I don't feel great about being a single. Calls one to two times a week. Chasers call every day.

Pursuers. I'm texting you once, maybe to a mother. And dating. Girl, your kids are one of the best things that you can have while you're dating. Because, because a guy that's not serious about you, he's not going to, he's not going to want to like even play games with you. Cuz he knows what's involved here.

Okay.

Girl, be proud of it. Use it as an EV evaluation tool. Let them know pretty quickly. Yeah, I have two kids. They're amazing. They're 6 and 10.

Love them so much, matter of factly, proudly and see what their response is to that. If they're like, oh, oh, okay, okay.

They're not into it. If they're like, tell me more about them. Right. They're asking follow up questions. That's what we want to see.

Okay.

Okay. Someone said real Black Queen said his breath was bad this time too. Can I say something twice a day. Chasers, I'm texting you three times or more.

Guys who text a lot.

I'm 95% sure will never take you out, will never ask you out.

Because they're doing it for the emotional support.

Guys that are about their business, they don't have time to dilly dally via text. I know. That's.

I need. Can I. Can I say something just between us ladies?

I have to be honest.

Hard for many of us to think about or believe.

But guys that are about their business and making money.

Hey, do you want to go out? Good. Thursday, 6pm let's do it.

You people are saying. Say it.

Might get a text Wednesday night saying, we still on.

Yeah.

You are not a.

You are not evil. You are not superficial if you don't want to get with them.

But, like, a lot of y' all are like, oh, my God, he's not texting me every day.

Girl.

If he's texting you every day, he doesn't have a job.

I need. Can I.

Man whose teeth are jacked up or has horrible breath. Can I say something just between us ladies?

If he can't take care of his teeth, he can't take. And if he's texting you every day and he has a job, he's not good at it, and he's not going to get a promotion.

Take care of you. If his breath is kicking like Bruce Lee.

That means he's got other things that are kicking in his but.

Unemployed, underemployed, either way body, too.

I don't want it. And I don't want it for you. Do you hear me?

It means he's got. He might. Girl, you got.

It's giving slumber party. Slumber party tea. And you're not my best friend. I don't even know you yet, dude. Gut issues. Girl. He don't got guts.

Yeah.

So what are we doing here? Bad health. Bad health. Bad man.

You don't ever trust a man that texts you more than three times a day.

Sir. What are you doing with your life?

This reminds me. I want to share something with you that I think is very important. You're. You're not a.

Okay.

I just needed to say that.

Y' all are trying to. A lot of y' all are trying to be Mother Teresa up in here.

Don't do it.

Do not text men before 9am do not text men after 9pm.

It'S too much access.

Please understand if you're technical.

All right.

Yeah, girl. He'll give you a cavity in your cavity. Don't do it. Okay.

All right.

Yeah, girl, he'll give you a cavity in your cavity. Don't do it.

Okay. I just needed to get that out of my system. I'm. I'm good now. I'm good.

Okay.

Okay. I just needed to get that out of my system. What? What what questions do we have? Sing a man around 10pm.

Yeah, honey. He'll throw off your ph balance 100%.

He thinks you ready. You ready for something that you giving girl. Six vibes.

And the girls who know. No.

I. Someone asked about stressing them out concept. I talk about this earlier in the live and thank you all so much for the 108,000 likes. I appreciate it so much.

Yeah. Someone said you smell it hours later on you. Yeah, girl. It's like cigarette smell, girl. Stem. I'm. I'm good now. I'm good.

Okay. Secondhand halitosis, girl.

What in the world.

Boundary issues. Boundaries.

Okay. Someone asked when is ghosting okay? Ghosting is okay. When you don't feel safe physically or emotionally.

Okay. What. What questions do we have?

Let me go back. There were some questions in IG that I wanted to answer.

And where the new guy at my gym has an obvious crush on me but hasn't asked me out.

Should I do anything to move the needle forward? Yeah, ask him. Ask him for help on. On. On some equipment.

And then see if he takes it from there.

Tiana. Yeah, honey. He'll throw off your ph balance. I said, is it okay to ghost an ex? You know will waste your time. Well, my question for you is why does the ex have access to you?

Block these men, please.

Can we block them.

Please?

Can we?

There are no dumb questions here.

Someone said, I think I enjoy the attention.

Okay.

Get the attention somewhere else.

Yeah.

100.

Okay.

All right. What else is going on? What else is going on, ladies?

Ria said, can we talk about men? Astrology edition. All I know is stay away from those Sagittarius men, girl.

Yeah.

But a lot of people will be like, oh, my God, he's texting.

What about cancer man? Well, I'm a cancer man, but I will tell you this. Moody, sensitive, but caring, nurturing.

Someone said, this chat goes so damn fast. Girl. There are a thousand.

I. Someone asked about stressing them out concept. I talk about this earlier in the live. And thank you all so much for the 108,000 thousand likes. I have some people here on Tick Tock.

Yeah.

Okay. See me so much, it means that he likes me.

Don't do that, girl. Don't do that. Yeah. Someone said, if you like attention, girl, get a. Get a puppy. They'll give you a lot of attention.

What other questions do we have? Advice for dating a man who's 39 but hasn't been in love since 18.

Obviously it's contextual, Right? But assuming that he Is in the game. Plenty of women to fall in love with. The question is, is he capable of it?

Yeah. To me, that lets me know.

You tell me in 20 years, you haven't been in love.

Appreciate it so much.

I don't believe it.

Someone said Virgo men are the worst. Yeah. Someone said, you smell it. Hours later. My husband's a Virgo. And I agree with you.

Amanda said the black community condemns black women who consider global options. Let them condemn.

You know, when they condemn you as the center girl, you. You say what they said in the Color Purple, girl. As married. Now, what are they gonna say? What are they gonna say, girl? On you? Yeah, girl. It's like cigarette smell, girl.

Who cares about what they say, what they do?

Yeah.

Have you.

Girl, God's trying to tell you something. And God's trying to tell you to open that passport and get your man.

Secondhand halitosis, girl.

Shelby said been hooking up exclusively with a guy for six months. Then nothing. Do I continue to pursue or let it go. Don't ever pursue men. He's got to pursue you. And if he's not pursuing you anymore, let it go.

Please.

Do I recommend any country? Of course I do.

What in the world?

Where are y' all traveling to?

Where are y' all traveling to?

Someone said Ireland. Dublin. Girl. Northern Dublin.

Italy. Rome. Rome and south of Rome. Don't go anywhere north of Rome. Uk London. A third of the couples I saw in London and interracial Paris. You work third shift and want to talk after 10pm that's another thing, girl. But girl, most people don't work that third shift. Salonina. Okay. Someone asked when is ghosting okay. You'll get more life from the black and brown guys in Paris. Not so much the white guys, as much Korea and Japan.

Bonjour, saba. Cuckoo. Okay, three month date wants to talk.

So. So they don't really like foreigners. They don't care if you're white or black. They don't like you. Okay. Spain, pretty men.

But if you're a woman of color, they're not really checking for you. Like, if you're a black woman, ghosting is okay. When you don't feel safe physically or emotional, you will rarely see a black woman married to a Spanish man.

You're in Canada. Come. Come to Montreal. Don't. Don't go to Toronto, girl. Portugal. You'll have a great love affair with Portuguese men. But they won't ever marry you.

Very rarely will they. Greece, after ghosting for one month initially, same thing. Great. Story to tell when you're talking about traveling.

They'Re not the marrying type.

Swiss men.

Older. Older Swiss men are open to black women. Bulgaria? No. Australia? No. Netherlands. Yeah.

Okay.

Let me go back. Walk around the Netherlands, girl, and you'll be married within six months.

Hungary? No. Romania. No. Serbia. Yes. Croatia. Yes. Yemen.

I said he needed time to think. What to do?

Would your future husband do? This is the question that I would ask you.

And I am pretty sure that the answer is no.

There were some questions in IG that I wanted to answer.

And where the new guy more focused on like Qatar, Dubai.

Panamanian. You mean Panama.

Yes. It's great. But most of them are not ready.

Don't have at my gym. Has an obvious crush on me but hasn't asked me after money.

The De Niro.

Belgium. Not really checking for you. Germany. They will die for you there.

As someone who gets women three to four women into relationships every week, I will tell you this.

Tunisia. That's a travel hookup spot. That's not. That's not real tea. Iceland is cute.

India.

Indian Americans open to it. India, Indians. They're still working that caste system, girl. And you can be the most successful beautiful woman in the world. But if you my color or darker girl, you on the lowest level of that caste system and that's not. You got to beat them off with a stick.

You gotta. No shade.

Oh, should I do anything to move the needle forward? Yeah, ask him. Ask him for help on. On. On some equipment.

Karate Kid him. Girl.

Give me my space.

Jamaica, Jamaicans will do anything.

So great. Great to get your groove back.

Marriage, relationship.

What did they say when I was growing up in elementary school on those weeks called dare just say.

Okay.

Egypt love black women. Love them. And then see if he takes it from there.

Tiana, they'll call you Beyonce every day and you look like me.

Okay.

All right.

I think I'm gonna go because I need to get some rest.

Okay.

I hope that this was helpful for you and I said is it okay to ghost an X unit? Know will waste your time. Hope that you learned something from this live. Cuz I want you all to succeed at the end of the day and if you want to. Oh, turkey, that's number one.

If right.

Yeah. You want to work with me? Definitely book a consultation call with me. The link is in my bio. Okay. If not, that's fine too. Keep on coming to these lives. They're free. Keep on listening to my podcast. They're free. And yeah.

Well, my question for you is why does the ex have access to you.

I'll see you later. Alrighty. All right, Be well, loves. Bye bye.

Block these men, please.

Can we block them? So yeah, that's tea, girl. That's tea.

I'm giving you a lot of tea here because I want you to succeed. But if you want to go deeper into this work, if you want want.

Police want to have.

More knowledge, cuz can we.

There are no dumb questions here. It's like 5 to 10% of the of what we do in my program.

If you want to like heal in a deeper way, book a consultation, call the link.

Okay.

Because in my balance the link is in my bio. Okay.

Okay.

All right. What else is going on? What else is on? Going, going on, ladies. And we'll see if it's a good fit. Like it doesn't mean that you're.

Ria Said. Can we talk about men? Astrology edition all. I'm not going to put any pressure on you to make a decision.

We'll see if it's good fit. I. I don't always stay away from those Sagittarius men, girl. Except everybody.

I accept women that are ready to be coached and to get into a great relationship. What's the name of the YouTube channel? Dating Coach Anwar. Same name on Tik.

Tok. Same name on ig girl.

Okay.

Yeah.

What about cancer man? Well, I'm a cancer man, but I will tell you this. Moody, sensitive, but caring, nurturing.

Someone said, this chat goes so damn fast. Girl, there are a thousand thanks for being our friend, girl. I try my best.

Tamara said, did your prices increase already? Sure did this week I came back from the doctor, honey, and I increased those those prices immediately. Just like I said I would. I'm a man of my word.

CDL said, love your podcast too. Thank you, girl. I appreciate it. Poison. I say, Amy, is it a bad Idea for me, 26 to ask my tutor, 45,000 people here on Tik Tok?

Yeah.

Up for coffee? Yes. Why? Because one, we don't.

Okay, ask men out. And two, girl, he's twice your age. What is he going to do with you? Teach you how to drive? No, shade.

Don'T do that. What happens, and this happens a lot, even at work, is when you have a man that has a little bit. What other questions do we have? Advice for dating a man who's 39 but hasn't been in love since 18.

Obviously it's contextual, right? But assuming that he is in the game, plenty of women to fall in love with. The question is, is he capable of.

Yeah. To me, that lets me know.

You tell me in 20 years, you haven't been in love.

The power dynamic is off or different. You will actually, like, start to have feelings for him because you like feeling safe under the power. You might not actually like him as much. Much so I want to offer that. Yeah, we're kiking and we're having fun, but there are things that are happening. I don't believe it.

Someone said Virgo men are the worst. My husband's a Virgo. And I agree with you.

Amanda said the black community condemns black women who consider global options. Let them condemn. And inside that.

We got. You know, when they condemn you as.

The center girl, you. You say what they said in the color Purple, girl as married. Now.

Cut it off.

What if he's a professor?

Well, then, girl, get that a. No, I'm just kidding. What are they gonna say? What are they gonna say? Girl, who cares about what they say, what they do?

Yeah.

Honey, I'm all about that gpa, girl. Especially if you're trying to get to grad school, Girl. Every day counts.

Girl. God's trying to tell you something. And God's trying to tell you to open that passport and get your man.

Catch that.

Raquel said, noah, you're mean. Love you.

Oh, Lord. Yes, ma'. Am. Pretty chopstick set. Let's tap it up, ladies.

Shelby said, been hooking up exclusively with a guy for six months. Then nothing. Do I continue to pursue or let it go? Don't ever pursue men. He's got to pursue you. Any foreign. Reyna said, you get on my nerves. Somebody, if he's not pursuing you anymore, let it go.

Please.

Do I recommend any country? Of course. Please. Got to grow. Someone said that kombucha I drank gave me a little buzz, honey. That's why I'm on it now, girl. Buzzing.

Okay, let me see what my IG girls are talking about. Yes, honey, we.

Where are y' all traveling to?

Where are y' all traveling to?

Someone said Ireland. Dublin. Girl Northern Dublin.

Italy, Rome, Roman. South of love, the A's. What about long distance couture cake? What about a girl? What's the question?

Age range gap, I would say plus 10 years, minus five years. Now, if you're from, don't go anywhere north of Rome, uk, London. A third of the couples I saw in London, interracial Paris or 50 plus. And you have a younger spirit. And you look amazing, like most black women do. Then I say, you'll get more life from the black and brown Guys in Paris, not so much the white guys as much Korea and Japan.

So. So they don't really like foreigners. They don't care if you're white or black. They don't like you. A five plus minus ten.

Okay. Cat said, dating Korean man. Okay. Spain, Pretty men.

But if you're a woman of color, they're not really checking for you.

Do it if you want, girl. Do it if you want.

Like, if you're a black woman, you will rarely see a black woman married to a Spanish man.

You're in Canada. Come. Come to.

Montreal. Don't. Don't go to Toronto, girl. Portugal, you'll have a great love affair with Portuguese men, but they won't ever marry you.

Very rarely will they. Greece.

Someone said dating a French man.

Same thing. Great story to tell when you're talking about traveling.

They're not the marrying type.

Swiss. Do it if you want, girl. Do it if you want.

Men.

Older. Older. Swiss men are open to black women. Bulgaria.

No. Australia. No. Netherlands. Yes.

We. We on that wee wee, girl.

Okay.

Walk around the Netherlands, girl, and you'll be married within six months.

Hungary. No. Romania. No. Serbia. Yes. Croatia. Yes. Yemen.

I'm. Yes. Honey. She says you want to go to the olympics. Go for the gold, girl. Go for the gold.

More focused on like Qatar, Dubai.

Panamanian, you mean.

Okay, I have Panama.

Yes, it's great. But most of them are not ready.

Don't have a serious question, girl. Yes, honey. That toothpick to mic transition, crazy. The money.

The De Niro. Belgium, not really checking for you. Germany, they will die for you there.

Tunisia, That's a travel hookup spot. That's not. That's not real tea. Iceland is cute.

India.

Indian. Americans, open to it. India, Indians. They're still working that caste system, girl. And you can be the most successful beautiful woman woman in the world. But if you my color or darker girl, you on the lowest level of that caste system, and that's no shade.

Jamaica, Jamaicans will do anything.

So great. Great to get your groove back.

Marriage relationship.

What did they say when I was growing up in elementary school on those weeks called dare? Just say no.

Okay.

Egypt. Love black women. Love them. They'll call you Beyonce every day. And you look like me.

Okay.

All right.

I think I'm gonna go because I need to get some rest.

Okay.

I hope that this was helpful for you, and I hope that you learned something from this live. Because I want you all to succeed at the end of the day. And if you want to. Oh, Turkey. That's number one.

If you want to work with me, definitely book a consultation call with me. The link is in my bio. Okay. If not, that's fine, too. Keep on coming to these lives. They're free. Keep on listening to my podcast. They're free. And, yeah.

I'll see you later. Alrighty. All right. Be well, loves. Bye. Bye.