Dating Q & A 08-31-24

Hello. Hello. Hello. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Hello. Hello. Hello.

I hope you're doing well.

Hello everyone. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. What's tea? What is tea? Hunty.

Hello. Happy Saturday.

Happy Saturday to everyone. No shade girl. But why are you here? Why are you not out on a date? Why are you not out flirting with men instead of flirting with me?

This is a problem.

This is a serious problem.

What's really going on?

Girl? Don't touch a gay dude. Touch, touch, touch somebody else, honey. Get touched by an angel, honey, Someone said I'm here because aunt Flo, you better flow your way to the next bar honey, talked to a man. Someone said I'm still fat girl. It don't matter girl, he doesn't care.

He doesn't care.

Girl, People talking about this, this apron. Girl, if you got one of those aprons in the front. Girl, Feed him girl.

Feed.

What is this? What is going on? Sorry honey.

Girl, they have me do a manual labor. Girl. Yes. I said feed him girl. Feed him.

Girl. What? We got some new dogs for the kiddos. So? Girl, they're peeing and pooping everywhere. Girl, do you see me grow manual labor? This is not the kind of manual labor that I'm used to. Catch that tea.

Girl, you thoughts are pooping.

Girl, they got me working on a live. What's really going on? Did. Did anybody catch that tea?

And this live is sponsored by Febrez.

Oh my God. Girl, Someone said Amar, you are tall. Girl, you think I'm some five eight Girl, what's really going on? Girl? I'm six. I'm six two.

Six, three on a good day. Hello. Hello.

Someone said why are gay men attracted to me? Girl? No shade Girl, you might look like a boy.

Someone said it never gave little, never.

Ever. If the gay guys are into you girl, you look like a boy. No shade.

Oh my gosh. Crying in five eight and a half. Please talk about wandering eyes. What do you mean?

I don't know if I like this guy. I'm saying. Okay, first of all, I haven't even introduced myself people. Jesus Christ. Okay, so my name is Coach Anwar. I am a dating coach for black and brown women. And.

I am here to just answer your questions about love, dating, relationships, men and or women and yeah, so put your questions in the chat. I will answer them in the order that I see them. If you are someone said no introduction needed. You are famous.

Thank you girl. Hey.

So. So yeah, if you are interested in working with me, definitely click the link in my bio book. A consultation call and we'll See if it's a good fit or not. Okay. All right, let me see what's going on. Princess at Anwar is my favorite. Thank you. Liz said, hey, handsome girl. Don't flirt with me. Don't do it. Chenoa said, you're so iconic.

Girl. Not the icon. My icon status.

Yeah.

Okay. Someone said he's looking at hot women.

When we are out all of the time. Help. The fact that he has the audacity to do that lets me know that our boundaries are not where they need to be. And he's taking you for granted. I will tell you this. Men who do that do not care about you. They don't care. And I want to say this in a lovely, a loving and respectful way as your fairy godbrother.

When he's doing that, he is already. He already thinks that he's better than you.

No man who is.

Like, courting you, pursuing you, in love with you will want you to think that.

His attention is not on you.

Glam Tam Tam said, amber, you're very, very cutesy, Very demure. I hope not. I. I hope I'm the least demure person out there. I don't want to be demure, and I don't want you to be demure either.

If you're going to be demure while dating, girl.

You'Re gonna get ran over.

And ran through, and not in a good way.

Don't be demure while dating.

Speak your peace, Speak your truth, talk your ish. And make sure that you're setting boundaries and you're being vulnerable all day, every day. When I tell you that.

Men will respect you more when you have boundaries.

And the girls that are demure, they keep it cute and mute.

No shade. But if you're a nice girl, and that's what demure is giving.

You'Re gonna be boring.

And you know what?

He's gonna find something more exciting, because demure is not exciting. It's not intriguing. Yeah. Okay, let me see what the girls are talking about on IG because I feel like y' all are. Are acting out.

Okay. R. Hood Snow said, yes. Amor, please. Debt this demure. Trin, don't do it, girl. Demure is all about conforming to a patriarchal society.

You can't be demure if you're running things.

And I talk about this with my head coach all of the time, but some of us aren't ready to take the throne.

If you want to keep being demure, be demure. But that's giving princess energy and not queen energy.

Okay, that's giving daughter energy.

And most of us were raised to be daughters and not women. So please understand that the women that are doing things, you know, all those friends that you're like, oh, my gosh, she's such a. I don't understand why she has a man. It's because she's not demure. It's because she speaks her truth, and she tells these men what she wants, and she gets it. One of the thing that we're. One of the things that's happening in my program is that my women, my ladies, are actually understanding that they get to tell each and every one of these men exactly what to do, and they'll do it. One of my clients posted in the Facebook group not too long ago, literally like a day or two ago, she's like, she told a man, I want ice cream. And he's like, oh, my God, I got you next time. She's like, no, I want it now.

$10 cash app. Get your ice cream, babe. Boom. What did Montel Jordan say? This is how we do it.

You hear me?

No demure.

Couture.

Okay, let me see what y' all are talking about.

No, someone said someone clipped this. I love you, Tiffany. Thank you so much, Tiffany. Nora. I love you, too, Nija. Anisha said, we love Anwar. Thank you. Girl. Hey, it's Jen. Said finally caught your live again. Thank you. Tamika said. Hi, fairy godbrother. Hey, girl. Tamika's my sister's name. Okay, let me see what you're giving.

The face is giving. Thank you, Lish. Girl. Honey, when I tell you I have been doing that spot treatment for my darker spots, girl, that try to know and, girl, trying to keep up with all you beautiful ladies out there. Oh, girl, not these ski goggles, girl. Not. Not me getting into this ski game, girl. Okay, let me see. How do you feel about dating shorter men?

I want to let you know this is a gag.

Y' all think that when you date shorter men, it's like, you know, an easy ride. Honey, shorter men are the men that are packing, girl. Those are the Six Flags rides. Those are the rides that, like, you don't know what you're doing. Oh, my God. These talks are going to be the end of me. Girl. Stop.

We got two dogs today, girl. Britney and Spears. Britney Spears. Britney Spears. Stop it.

No, no, I'm just kidding. But one of them is named Britney. We were thinking about doing it, but it would have been too much.

Girl. The short kings are the ones that are packing. Those are the rides that you want that you want to actually ride.

Like, y' all gagging like you want a tall king. I hope you understand the one. One of the things that you need to understand that just because a guy is tall doesn't mean that he's going to protect you, and it doesn't mean that he's packing. And tall guys die early.

Like, you need to understand that. Have you ever seen a tall guy that is guy that's over six feet and that's 70 years old or older? No. Tall guys die early. So if you get with a tall guy, you probably gonna have to caretake for him when you're in your 60s, that's when life starts, girl. That's what Oprah said. The other thing about tall guys that I just want to offer to anyone that this resonates with is that many of us are trying to. Oh, my God.

Stop.

Stop. Girl. They're trying to get. They're trying to eat my Oculus prime, girl. My Oculus.

Britney, spe.

They're trying to eat this.

Girl. They're really trying to be the end of me. They're trying to be the end of me. Okay?

Not these dogs interrupting the sermon, Girl. It's not the dogs, girl. It's the devil.

Can we at least see Brittany and spirits? Okay, come on, Britney. Come here.

Oh, my God. Come here, come here, come here. Good girl, good girl. I'll show you one of them, honey.

Come on, Britney.

This is Ms. Brittany. If you're nasty, honey. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi, kiddo. Hi.

Okay, so it is my.

I have twins. They're that are turning 11. And so that was the present for them for their birthday. Okay.

So what was I gonna say? Yeah. The gag on these tall men is that a lot of you are trying to get with tall men because you're trying to feel feminine and taller and bigger. Guys are making you feel. You believe will make you feel feminine.

And your job is to be feminine in your own self.

That you don't need a man to make you feel feminine. Whoever that resonates with. Great.

Okay. The other thing is that many of us are looking for tall guys to protect us.

And the gag is that we're literally not in the ice ages anymore. We're not in the Stone Age where we need a tall man to get pineapples for us and. Or beat off tigers.

The way that a man succeeds in this world is not by his height or his brute strength. It's with his mind and his emotional intelligence.

You can go for the Six, four. You can go for the guys that are six feet or over girls. But what's really going to get you ahead? What's really going to give you that relationship and marriage privilege is a guy that can finesse his way into a restaurant without having a reservation. It's a guy who can negotiate a house price down from 800k to 750.

That is what we are going to need to focus on. The gag too is that.

I'm gonna stop on tall guys. Why? Because I'm a tall guy myself and I can't on myself. I got a lot going for my going for myself.

Yeah. Thoughts on dating a divorced dad of three kids are 13, 11 and 9. I'm a single mother of a 7 year old.

Here's what I will say.

And this is no shade, but I need to know exactly how many mothers that guy has with the three kids. Because if he has multiple mothers with three kids, I kind of want us to stay away.

I'm good with one or two kids, but you don't want to be with someone that is like a Cam Newton or a Nick Cannon or a Tyree Kill or an Elon Musk. Many of those guys are breeders. Also, I need to know the age of him. If he's in his 40s, fine. If he's in his 30s with three kids and multiple, you know, mothers, co parents, then he's, he's on a starter track.

To becoming a breeder. And you don't want to be with a breeder because they will never self actualize and they will never be ready to settle down because those kinds of men, the Cam Newtons, the Nick Cannons of the world, they will always impregnate other women. They will always impregnate other women because they are trying to convince themselves that they are the men that their friend groups don't believe that they are.

Yeah. So.

Don'T do it. What did they say.

During elementary school on Dare Week? Just say no.

Okay. All right, let me see what the gag is.

What are we at? What are we, what are we talking about here? Do you have dating app suggestions? Bumble isn't bumbling right now. You are your best dating app. Get outside. Y' all are acting like it's raining every day and y' all are playing thumbs up seven up at home with yourself. No shade. Get outside right now. And not just get outside because some of you are outside. Some of you are working and living from home. But you are going to need to talk to somebody. What do I mean? I'm talking about. Okay? So however often you're talking to people, I want you to 5x it.

If you talk to one person a day, when you're out and about, talk to five. You know what will happen?

Stop.

You know what will happen.

You will 10x your chances of finding a person.

Okay?

So.

Thank you all so much for the love for Ms. Brittany. Honey. Someone was thinking that I was going to get a big dog. Girl, ever ever since I was in college and I met big dogs like Q's, I decided that I was always going to stay away from the bigger dogs. I like the petites.

I like the lap dogs. If he can't. If he can't fit into my.

My little tote, he's not for me, dog or man.

Okay, let me see. What are you talking about? Let me see what y' all are talking about. Adriana said, I love your eyes. Y' all need to stop flirting with me. I'm gonna tell my man on you.

I. I will.

I'm not playing around.

Okay. Some people said that they're feeling called out, honey, when I was talking about these tall men.

Okay, let me see what you're all are asking. What about age gaps? 20 years, 26 and 46. What do you all think? I think that that man is grooming you. And I think that a 46 year old man who is engaging with a 26 year old is looking for a woman that he can control. And so.

I don't think much good can come of it. I'm someone who is about love, connections and relationships. You know, people like Shira7 might say, go, girl, get yourself an oldie. An oldie but a goodie. We'll call him a Motown, honey. Go ahead, girl, get yourself a Motown relative to you.

But I don't think that you'll learn a lot. The gag is, and I want to talk to the girls who get with the older guys because you think that you're in control. You think that you can do whatever you want with this old guy. And I want to offer to you that you're not. That actually he's in full control of you and you don't even know it because he makes you think that you're in control. And he's going to use his money and he's going to use his life experience to run circles around you. A lot of these girls that are 26 that are dating 46 year old men.

Everything will be going well. And then suddenly you don't hear from him ever again. And you know what the Reason is. The reason is because he's found another 20 something and that you are always replaceable.

And I'm not. I'm not coming for you. I'm. I'm sharing this so that you understand that.

The control that you think that you have in this relationship is false.

Okay.

Girl, you're 26. 32. 32 should be the max.

32. Maybe 33.

Okay.

Sydney.

Said, am. I just want to say hi. Hi, girl.

Let me see.

Tay Bizzo said, a lot of charming guys are narcissists. A lot of narcissists are charming guys. There's a difference. Someone's asking me about my thoughts on Shira 7. I think she's absolutely awesome. Great. I think that she has put a lot of women on game. I do think that there are. When she started starting to talk about.

Kind of using men for money or focusing on older guys to get their money for stability, that's where we kind of diverge a little bit.

She's more focused on transactional. I do think that there is something to be said for including love into the game as well.

But I think we're aligned on, like, 70, 75% of the things that we.

Let me see what y' all are. Are talking about.

Let me see. What are you all talking about? Dating a millionaire with a son and a crazy baby. Moment. He dismisses my feelings. Should. Should I stay? No.

Is 45 too late to start over? Any advice? No, girl, 45 is great. I love that the gag is. Okay, here's the thing. If you are a young 45, then you want to. You want to start. You want to date guys that are even 35. If you are older 45, and you know who you are. No shade. Then you want to be dating from 40, 40 to 55. Yeah.

Camille said, what happens when a white man asks you how much are your monthly bills?

You just ask why.

Ask why. He might be trying to pay them. But you don't want someone to start paying your bills early.

Someone who does that. There's a manipulation there because they don't know you enough to actually pay your bills for you. And if they can do it for you and they only know 10% of you, they can do it for someone else that they don't know anything about as well.

It gives. I haven't done my due diligence in my investments. And if you can't trust a man and how he invests in relationships, you can't trust a man and how he invests his money.

Honey, we don't we can't get with with guys that are done with money, especially in this economy.

We need smart men.

And no, I don't care about men that are saying that they're street smart. If you want a guy that's street smart, you're going to be in the streets.

Do you hear me?

You're going to be homeless. Sorry, what are the girls saying? Unhoused now.

I can't keep up, girl.

I'm just trying not to get canceled these days.

Princess said, how do you provide?

Sorry, but not be the guy's mother. I don't understand what. What you mean.

Okay, Christina said, I don't know how to date. Well, girl, book a call with me so you can get into.

Book a call with me so that you can get into my programs. Girl, they're eating my apple box.

Oh, my God. These dogs are going to be the end of me. Girl.

Evolving, KSA said, you are definitely one of my favorites. Thank you, girl. Jonah said, Jonathan said, bro, what are you talking about? Number one, I'm not your bro.

Number two, I don't even know what I'm talking about.

Okay, let me see what's going on here.

It's speed dating a good idea. It can be. Someone said, it's their box now. I know, Girl.

Evolving, KSA said, and we're no he. Fine.

Okay, wait. Star goddess said, just one out of six day tonight. And he has great bdb. We discussed no sex before committing, and he told me to let him know when I'm ready to be exclusive. Could he just be trying to. No, no. He's saying you get to set the pace.

Set that pace, girl. Sit on that throne. Let him know what feels good to you and what doesn't.

Okay, I really like this white lawyer, but after your comment, I'm scared. Scared. I also have a legal background. Uk does this only apply to the US Guys? What do you mean you're scared? What are you scared about for a white lawyer?

What are you talking about, girl?

Tiffany Chanel said just broke up with a cop. Please help, girl. Congratulations, you're free, girl.

You're done with that parole officer. Girl.

What do you need help with? Someone said, what about Nigerian men? What about them, girl? Girl, what about them?

What about the Nigerian men? I can't be talking about these Nigerian men all the time, girl, because they really will come for me.

I had to call my grandmother to, you know, pray for me in her prayer line so that I could have a protective shield from these Nigerian men that were really trying to comfort My spirit. Not even for me. For my spirit.

Someone said, what about Vietnamese men? They love black women in Houston.

You know what? A lot of people have been recently asking me about Vietnamese, and I will tell you this. The Vietnamese men.

They don't have that. They don't have what I'm looking for, and I don't think that they have what you're looking for.

But they work hard, honey. They work hard.

Let me see. What. What are we talking about here?

Honey, go outside. Ladies, the fact that you are talking to me online on a Saturday night kills me.

And it's the end of the summer.

Girl. They're pooping again.

This manual labor.

Girl. I'm cinder fella.

And I hate it.

Oh, I hate this.

And this live is sponsored by Febreze.

Okay.

Okay. Let me see what y' all are given.

My problem is that my type probably won't get married until they're 45. No, ma'. Am. My life has. Maria said, OMG, you have changed my whole outlook. Good girl. Good. When should they be saying I love you? Normally, I have known most relationships that say I love you between months four and nine of the exclusive relationship. Yeah. But every relationship is different. And it's important to just, like, honor what sort of relationship you're having at the end of the day. Yeah.

Rose said. And why I need to know how to attract higher quality men. Well, the question that I have for you is what is the definition of that? And Jenny, thank you so much for the rose, by the way. And just FYI, ladies, on tick tock, if I'm. If I've said anything that resonates with you or that has helped you tap, double tap, triple tap the screen. Okay.

We have like 30,000 likes in here, which is amazing. Keep on tapping.

Camille said, I have a date with a white man. Any advice?

I would say.

Make sure that he's upper middle class. My advice for white men is don't date any white man that is.

Middle class. Because a middle class white man is an every other guy. Poor guy with all of the privilege that a white man has. He has to be minimum upper class middle. Like.

Upper middle class.

Nikki, thank you so much for the two roses, girl. Have fun. Talk your shit with these white men, girl. Colonize them.

Yeah, I said it. Gabrielle Nixon said, love your podcast. Thank you so much, girl. I. The name of my podcast is called the getyourguy coaching podcast. Definitely check it out. We talk about a variety of different subjects.

So thank you so much for that. Princess said, hey, man, I wish I had followed that advice in the past. North Memphis said, love your podcast. Thank you so much. Ash said, not colonize them. Why not? They're waiting for you, honey. Do you know how many white guys are into black women?

Like, into y'. All.

Into y'. All.

Chatty. The. The baddie said, do you like Shay the Love Diva?

I like everyone.

No, I will tell you. I will tell you this.

There was a time where she was passively, aggressively trying to come for me because I was talking about the science of dating and she was saying that I was, like, copying her, even though this is, like, really clear. Like, everything that she says about science and dating is in this book. Men chase, Women choose. I read this book and I started stating some of the things that are said in this book.

And she started saying things like, there are some people that don't know what this is meaning and what it's all about, girl. I read the same book you did. Chill out, girl.

So anyway, that's my. That's my interaction with her, so it wasn't a positive one. I will tell you that.

But I wish everyone well. But here's what I will say.

Here's what I will say. There are some dating coaches, these male dating coaches. A lot of dating coaches are manipulative. And I've said this before, but I want to repeat it. You have a lot of male dating coaches that are trying to be your. Your father.

Okay? You have some dating coaches, women primarily, that want to tell you that you're not a woman, that you need to be more of a woman. Right?

And then you also have a lot of gay dating coaches or relationship experts that say a lot of shit. I'm one of those dating coaches.

Who can get away with a lot because he's a gay dude. Christian Walker is one of them.

MJ is one of them.

But there's a lot of manipulation going on in a lot of these dating coaches. So. So that's that. On that.

Lou Williams said, no, she gives scam artists with those prices. Well, girl, my prices are high, too, but we get at least three women into relationships every. Every week. Someone said, what about Stefan Speaks? Okay, well, he's another. He's in another category. I would put him and Derek Jackson is in a similar category, which is, I'm going to try to be attractive as possible. So I. You. You. You're going to listen to me because I'm attractive and I'm actually acting like a surrogate partner until you get your own. Yeah, there's a reason why they they wear those, those shorter sleeve shirts so that you can see like, you know, their arms and their V is like their V neck looks like a U. Yeah. They're doing that for a reason. Catch that? Te.

Yeah.

So.

I say all of that. My experience, my perspective. Someone said, keep it cute, girl. This is as cute as I can keep it.

Someone asked me a question. I'm going to answer it. I try to, I try to be as.

As clear as possible.

Someone said, what do you think about Matthew Hussey? I think that he has a male perspective on a lot of this and.

Some of the things that he says are.

Like, basic but also like, like, he'll say things like, yeah, go ahead and touch a man so that he knows that you are into him. And that makes me uncomfortable. And it makes me uncomfortable because. Or he's like, you know, a lot of, a lot of the work that he does is around texting and playing games via text. And.

I want people to just be honest and to be themselves.

And not feel like they have to try to work a guy.

But like any dating coach that is like, you know, touch men and do all of this, that makes me uncomfortable.

KK said, what about date Brazen Lily Womble? Well, Lily is a good friend of mine. I think that her work is for a certain kind of woman. What woman would that be? I would say probably a white woman that lives in a metro area.

Yeah.

So.

We work with different kinds of women, but I think her intentions are good and she wants to help people.

Okay. Ms. Snow said she's asked her question multiple times.

I'm just seeing comments. Island Tish said, so we are being manipulated by dating coaches. I think some of them, right.

Are manipulative in nature. Here's the thing. These people, regardless of their skill level or like, excuse me, regardless of what they're saying, most of them know human dynamics, know human interaction, know how to have other people do things for them. Right.

So.

Anyway, okay, let's go back to your dating questions.

How do I go to fun dating, to serious dating? What do you mean fun dating?

Janae said, should you ever offer to pay on a date? So sometimes it's awkward just sitting there. No.

No.

Alexandra said, I feel you are speaking from the, from the perspective and for the interest of a woman, I try my very best. Okay, let me see. A guy who has been consistent since I met him just admitted he lied to me about his age, told me he is 34, but he is 46. I'm 35. Where red flag date is On Saturday.

I don't really talk in red flags, but I will say this.

If something like that happens because some people will change their ages on apps to get more likes or to see more people. I generally like to. To have that.

Have them share that on the first physical date or like before the first date or, you know, know, before the phone date, if you have it right. There's sometimes people do that on the apps. So if he has shared this with you before the first date.

Thank him, but also let him know, like, ask him, like, well, why did he do that? Was this something that he actually shared with you verbally or via text? Or was this something that you read on a profile? Okay, you said you met him in person. Okay, so he's liar, liar, pants on fire.

You can't build something with a liar.

Yeah.

Nothing can start with a lie.

Sway Solomon may say Amor is not gimmicky and has stats and truth behind it. I try my best, girl. That's all I can say. That's all I can say.

I try to be as generous as possible so.

Y' all can still level up in your dating lives and love lives even if you, you know, don't cannot afford my programs. I try to be as generous as.

Beautiful. Relly Rail said, I met a nerdy king girl. I know that's right, girl. Invite us to the wedding, honey. Invite us to the wedding.

Jasmine said, do you have any thoughts on dating in the Bay Area? Very difficult for a black woman.

Very difficult. San Diego and San Francisco are as difficult as la, if not more.

Let me see what questions we have here. Queering said, how long should we make them wait before being intimate? That's a personal choice, right? I'm never going to tell a woman what she should do with her body, but I will say as a dating coach, I generally recommend to wait until some sort of commitment or exclusivity.

For a myriad of reasons.

I think that being intimate with a man oftentimes can cloud your judgment, can make you chemically bonded to a guy that hasn't been fully vetted or evaluated.

And.

Like, can really mess you up. Like, to the point where you are addicted to a guy.

Also, like, when you have sex with a guy, he will feel less bonded to you afterward because chemically speaking, like, his vasopressin will decrease and like, it's chemical. So those guys that, you know, hit it and quote, unquote, quit it. This is a chemical reaction that is happening.

Yeah. Carolina said. Or Carolina said, Do you recommend blocking X who comes and Goes, yes, for sure. For sure.

Beyonce said it's okay for me to be late to a date. My date was really upset and made a rude comment.

I think that.

Well, one I'm hoping that you messaged beforehand.

If not, then he's going to feel like a time boundary was violated. I'm not excusing the rude comment, but, you know, I would say that. Yeah.

Because here's the thing. If you had to wait.

You would probably be upset, too. I always tell ladies, like, if a guy is late, if he is, like, wait for 15 minutes. And if he's not there in 15 minutes and he hasn't shared with you that he's going to be late, leave. Don't reach out, don't ask him about his eta, don't do anything. Just leave.

That's what we call standing on boundary business.

Okay.

Paloma said, hi, Amar. Are you going to save the live? Yeah, they. They're always on. On my YouTube channel.

Frequent flyer nurse. How many should I date at once? I say three. I call it Olympic dating in my program. So you want a gold medalist, a silver medalist, and a bronze medalist, and you shouldn't stop dating until you. You have that. You're, like, dating. That means have more than two dates with at least three guys. If that is happening, then stop the app, stop everything until you. Till one of them drops off. And one of them generally does. Yeah, you want to compare and contrast them. Right. This is about learning what you want and what you need. Jerry might be giving you flowers all the time, but, you know, I don't know. Devonte might be, you know, texting you every day. So understanding different ways that these men are showing up and how you are experiencing it is important.

Okay.

Oh, my God. We got a lot of comments here. All right, thank you all so much for the comments, and thank you so much for the almost 62,000 likes here on Tick Tock.

Uche said. Have you heard of Benjamin, who calls himself the flirt coach? I want to tell you all something.

I get about 30, 30 dms a day, and people send me different videos of different dating coaches. I feel like I've seen or heard of almost all of them. So, yes, I have. He's in the gay dude category.

Of dating coaches.

Ms. Rachel said. Good evening, Elmore. We love you in Queens. Thank you, girl.

Quinn of the castle. What about the Christian ones? Tony Gaskins. He gives dad energy, but he gives Christian dad energy. You know, that judgmental dad where you can't even wear a skirt above your knee? That. That Energy.

I saw a recent video of his, and he was talking about how he can't even take Dr. Cheyenne seriously because he could see her cleavage.

And that men are attracted to boobs and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So.

Those are the sorts of times where I'm like, oh, you're giving judgmental dad energy. And that's the manipulation ploy to have a lot of these women listen to you.

Or you also have people that are yelling when they're talking. Right. That is a manipulation ploy for you to listen to them. Because that's how many of our fathers communicated with us. Men are only afforded one emotion, and it's anger. So that's oftentimes what we see from our fathers. And that, like, does something to your internal, which makes you kind of stand at attention.

Sid said, hey, amore, what's the best way to follow up after a first date? I would say don't and let him follow up with you.

If he cares.

He'Ll continue to pursue.

Yeah.

El Calloway said, your opinion about message. You guys first on the dating apps. 100%. 100%. Go ahead. If you. If you like it, do it. The apps are like the wild, wild west.

Yeah. So, and it's not like you need to, like, shoot your shot. You can just say, hey, great profile, or hey, thanks for the like.

Right. So it's not like you gotta like, hey, baby.

You know? Yes. Where are the men who don't want kids? There's a good number of them. Especially nowadays, more and more people are not wanting to have kids.

And these economy kids used to cost 150, $170,000 to raise, and now the average is 310,000.

Yeah. So more and more men are actually opting out of having kids.

Okay, let me see what y' all are talking about.

Someone said examples of stressing them out.

So I would say boundaries and vulnerability. When you continue to set boundaries with men, that is going to stress them out because they're. They need to figure out what's in bounds, what's out of bounds. That's why I was saying they're going to respect you more when you do that because then it's like figuring out, okay, I hope I'm in bounds. Right. The other thing is when a guy is vulnerable with you or when. Sorry, when you're vulnerable with the man, because most men are not conditioned and socialized to, like, have deeper emotional conversations, that's also a level of stress for them. So when I say stress them out, I'm not talking about like be a. To them. I'm. I'm talking about setting boundaries and being vulnerable.

Okay, let me see. Someone, let me see Soren on IG has a question. So let me see where the question is. So I'm scrolling and I'm not seeing any questions from Soren.

I'm trying to get to as many as possible, but I got about a thousand people. Okay. Why do guys still text you? Even if they.

Oh my gosh, you guys are going so fast. Even if they aren't interested in meeting, desire marriage or believe in courting women.

For a couple of reasons. They're bored, they're horny, or they want emotional support or they want attention.

That's it. Men are lonely. Men don't have things like people to talk to. So a lot of people, and it inflates their ego. When he knows that he can text you and you will respond, he knows that he has you in his back pocket. So that inflates his ego.

And it makes him feel more like a man.

That's why.

Yeah.

Mahogany Road. Thank you so much for the heart. Me.

Just said, have you ever coached any women from Hawaii? Very few. In like 14 or 15 years. Maybe three.

Yeah.

See? Marie said, hi, coach. Hey, girl. Elizabeth Garcia. Thank you so much for the heart. Me.

Lynette said, how do you find a good man as a plus size woman?

Confidence and boundaries. If you're a curvier, bigger or plus sized woman, however you identify.

Your boundaries are going to have to be twice as much as other people because these men will try you and they will try you because.

Respectfully speaking, men believe that, oh, this girl doesn't care about her body. So she's not going to care about what I do to her body. He's gonna feel like he has, he can reign over it. So, like they're gonna come, not slyly. They might come very directly and actively or assertively to try to control you. So that's what I'm saying. Like your boundaries have to be on lock.

Yeah.

Jen said, what about French Men for black women? I actually have witnessed more English men with black women than French men with Black women.

Chen.

Ke.

Says, have you read G.L. lambert's Men Don't Love Women like you? That doesn't ring a bell, but I'm going to look it up.

Not recently if I have. I've read a number of different books, but that's not ringing a bell. Maybe that's one that I need to put on my list. Someone said, that's sad. I. I do think it's unfortunate, but I wanted to share this with anyone that is listening, that needs to or wants to hear it because I think it's important.

Growing Jasmine said. How did you learn so much about dating culture? Well, I feel like I literally have been doing this since, since elementary school on the playground, helping boys talk to girls and girls talk to boys. And I've been formally doing this for about 15 years now. So I've coached thousands of women and I've seen it all, I've heard it all. I'm also certified as a relationship coach and I've read hundreds of books and continue to read books every day to make sure that my shit is tight. I'm not one of these girls that do that. Oh, well, it's because you're not feminine enough.

Oh, it's because.

You'Re too picky.

No.

Lena, thank you so much for your compliment.

What do Lisette said? What do you think of cougar women? The same. Similar reason. The similar thing that I hear or what I said about men. Like 46 year old men that talk to 26 year old women. A lot of cougar women are, are dating younger men because they also want to have a sense of control. Because the men that have been their age have abused them or taken advantage of them so many times we will do the anti of what we had. So like if you had a husband that never had sex with you, you will sometimes over course. Correct. And engage with men that are very sexual. Right. So in this instance. Right. For a lot of women that are dating younger men and that tend to do so, they're doing it because either the guys, they didn't feel like they had control or power with the guys that were their age. So oftentimes they will engage with younger men because they will often be in more control.

I don't like those sorts of interactions. I always tell women like, you want to do that? Great. Let's figure out why we want to do that. Right. What are we getting from this? This is an important question to ask. No judgment girl.

Do. Do you. But I'm, I'm always someone that is. I'm. I'm not here to judge. I'm here to get curious. This is what I tell all of my clients. I want to figure out why we do what we do and what are the connections here and what is the origin story Story.

Right.

Sunflower said, every guy I date to marry turns out they're not ready to marry when they fall in love with me. Help.

I want to offer Something. And it is this that.

A lot of these guys. So a lot of these guys that are not ready to marry oftentimes will lag in the getting into an exclusive, committed relationship. These are the guys that you won't get into a relationship with until, like, month six, month eight. Right. In reality, you want to focus on first three months. You got to be ready for this. If you're not ready, you're out, and you got to hold that boundary. Ladies. That would be my recommendation. Those men that are never ready to marry oftentimes will lag on even an exclusive or committed relationship.

Okay.

Paella said. Do you date? No, girl. I married with three children and now two dogs. So Brady Bunch up in here, honey.

Luna the love witch said, any advice for transgender women? Yeah, tons.

One.

If you want to know. First of all, never.

Never have a date with a guy indoors. Never be in a car with a guy until later on in the courtship. So if he says come over or he wants to take you to some restaurant on, you know, outside of the city, don't do it. You. You want to have public dates with him because you want to see if he wants to be with you publicly, not just privately. Number two. And.

Girl, y' all gonna think that I am shady.

But those guys that have the rat faces, the rodent boyfriends, girl, if he looks like Master Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, he's probably into you, girl. A lot of y' all are. A lot of the trans girls are getting with the masculine guys, the construction workers, the gangsters, right, that are giving mad masculinity. The guys that are for real. For real for you are like the guys that have the rat faces.

Like Tyga.

As an example. Alleged. Allegedly. Allegedly.

Chelsea, thank you so much for the Five Roses.

Someone said, which tiger, girl? The tiger from Frosted Flakes. Girl, that tiger.

So I hope that helps for all my trans girls out there.

Someone says stuff. Cbj.

Someone clock that to you, Girl.

What I'm not gonna do is talk about all these men that are into trans women. Not tonight, honey. You're not gonna get me caught up, ladies. Yeah, not tonight. You're not gonna get me you. I'm not gonna get random calls.

Not tonight, girl.

Okay, let me see what y' all are talking about. And thank you all so much for the 80, 000 likes. I appreciate it.

I am so serious about the rat faces, girl. Okay, Alexis said, I went on a date with a guy, and he didn't compliment me or show physical attraction, and I combo with surface level. Any tips on getting to deeper conversations, knowing if he's into me. If he is asking you out on another date, he's into you.

So.

I need you to know that.

The gag is, and I have to tell this to my clients all the time, men that are actually very serious about you oftentimes won't make a move on you.

Until, like, date two or three or even four. So I say that because I think a lot of women are like, oh, my God, he's not into me, girl. IPS asking you out once a week. He's in it. He's in it enough to continue to date you. And that's all that you can really ask for at this point.

Okay.

But it's up to you to get into deeper conversation. We cannot wait for men to dictate the emotional depth of conversations. That's your job, unfortunately, however archaic it sounds as the woman, to initiate that vulnerability. So if y' all are not going deep enough, I want to say that there's maybe some opportunity for you to start to, you know, bring up or approach certain subjects. Yeah. And here's the thing. A compliment doesn't mean a damn thing when you're saying this. It lets me know that you are valuing words over actions. We oftentimes need to value actions over words.

A lot of players, a lot of narcissists will compliment you and over compliment you. It doesn't mean anything.

Now, what I would want to be an observation of is, is there a transact? Like, is. Is the. Is the trajectory increasing? He might be really nervous, girl.

A lot of times what's happening is that, you know, if you've ever. Okay, let me. Let's talk. Let's talk about it, ladies. Have you ever been dating a guy or you've liked a guy, and then you find out, like, hella long later, and he tells you, oh, my God, I've been liking you since sophomore year. And you're. You're a senior now. Graduation is tomorrow.

Right. A lot of these guys won't show you that they like you, compliment you, because some of them are shy, some of them are nervous. Some of them are what have you.

A compliment doesn't mean as much as you think it does.

In the scheme of all things. Now, what I will tell you, though, it might mean something to you, and it might mean something to you, because you might be one of those girls that grew up in a household where she was never told that she was pretty, and she was only told that she was smart. And so now, what you desire from these men is for them to tell you that you're pretty.

If that is your history, if that is your lived experience, then we need to heal some inner child wounds, and it's not about that guy.

Okay?

So I want to just offer that.

Someone said, whoa, whoa. I'm being ready.

Yeah.

Anna said, you are amazing. Thank you. I appreciate it.

I appreciate the nice words and the sentiment.

Okay, let me see.

Kitty said, or you've only been called sexy and not pretty. There's a difference. I did a whole video about this girl. If he calls you cute, you're his little sister.

You want to hear beautiful?

You want to hear specific compliments.

Because every compliment is not equal.

Someone said, Ebo men tips, please. I know no Evo men. I am not going to engage. Girl, the tips are no tips because you shouldn't be interacting or engaging with them.

Yeah.

Destiny says, what if he calls you a baddie, then he's bad.

Husband's husband mentality.

Don't compliment their women as a baddie that they think of as a potential wife.

Y' all are laughing.

Okay, let me see.

Miss Iris said, my niece calls me a baddie. She's a teen. Correct.

That reminds me, because a lot of these men are actually teenagers. If a man is wearing a jersey, if he's wearing a backwards cap, what are we doing?

And we're not at an NBA or WNBA game. What are we doing? Ladies, stop it. Stop it right now.

I would much prefer those little Stacy at. What is Stacy? Stacy, not Abrams. Adam. Shoes.

Over a jersey and a hat.

If he's dressing like a teenager, he is a teenager. Stop perbing.

You hear me? Someone said, I like the backwards cap sometimes. Girl, you're backwards. You're giving Crisscross.

Yeah. Stop it.

I feel like we can have these conversations because we're all family here.

Someone's. Someone's giving me the blue cap. As long as you don't give it to me backwards.

Someone said, are you a Virgo? No, girl, not that.

Monaco Butterfly said, like the live. Everyone.

Thank you. Yes, please. Tap, double tap, triple tap. Carrie's cat said, I've given up, honey. Girl, so have I. And I'm a dating coach. Someone said, the ripped jeans.

Jump, jump.

A Daddy Mac will make you.

Girl, crisscross was trying to tell you, but you weren't ready for it.

Okay.

Oh, Lord, give me the strength, Lord. Because these men, these men grow. Here's the thing. If you want to. Okay, here's the thing. If you want one of those One of those uncles.

If you want one of those men, I call them Motown men.

You either. You got to have one of those. Those Nia Long haircuts, girl. From the 90s, girl. Or those finger waves. That's how you get them. I think I'm going to do a. A video about black hairstyles and certain men.

You want to. You want one of those older black guys, girl, Get a finger wave.

Get a finger wave, girl. Or get that. That Nia long cut, girl. That pixie.

Yeah.

Do that, girl.

Do that.

That's all I gotta say.

Someone said to pup fall asleep. They finally did, girl. Finally did.

Someone. Crystal said, what will I get with curly hair? So it depends on what kind of curl. Now, don't make me bring out my. My 1, 2, and 3 ABC, girl. So if it is like a too curly.

White.

If it's like a one curly.

Arab Latino.

Yeah.

Yeah. If it. If it's like curly ish, like.

You can do this with it.

Okay. Nicole Zarita said, your advice about nerdy, kind men. Omg. At first, I had the egg. Now I'm in love. Thank you. I memoir. You're welcome, girl. Everything that y' all needed to know about love, you could have found out by watching the movies Revenge of the Nerds.

Because you know what? That blonde hot girl that ends up with the nerd guy, girl, she was it. She was it. Okay, the girls are asking about the locks. The gag is.

The locs give you the hotels. If you have a lock, you'll get grand rising, the grand risers.

But you'll also get. And it depends, right? Because if you have, like, sister locks, it gives, like, white girl strand. So you'll get the white guys, too.

But the other locks, you'll mostly get the grand risers. And. And, like, also like the spicy whites.

Yeah.

Yeah. You're. You're a queen. Every second everybody sees you, you're a queen. Hey, queen.

It'S giving your Nefertiti to them.

Bria said, what's a spicy white? The gag is the spicy whites end up being very.

Stale. A spicy white is like a. Oh, my gosh. Like a John B.

If he. If he has a lineup, he's a spicy white.

If he has a black man doing his hair, he's a spicy white.

All those guys that had the black wife effect, they're all spicy whites. But the gag about the spicy whites is that if you don't lock them down, if you're not married to them, they will end up with a white girl. Just Like Kanye said.

So like Travis Kelce who's with the black woman forever. He's with Taylor Swift now.

Yeah, girl. Even Miley Cyrus was spicy white when she was doing, you know, more of that rap and R B stuff. Now she's country girl.

Yeah, Spicy white's white chocolate equivalent. Someone, some people say seasoned white. You have to say, John B. Is my dream man.

Yeah. Lauren said, is it weird to ask a guy out? I'm afraid of to be rejected. Don't ask men out. Don't do that.

Don't do that, girl. Let them ask you out.

If you want to. If you want a spicy white girl, just get, you get yourself a black man.

Go and get it.

And, and this is no shade. A lot of y' all go for the spicy wise because you just, just get a biracial or light skinned guy. Girl. Basically the same, no shade. Yeah.

Jenny said, anwar, what kind of guy did you marry? Okay, so let me tell you. I knew my lane.

When I was dating. I knew my lane.

And the gag was that I always attracted teachers. My partner is a teacher. I always attracted teachers, always. So he's a teacher, lovely with children, you know.

Patient with my moods.

And attitudes.

I used to date the spicy whites because it was a little bit dangerous, but not dangerous enough for me to actually be in danger. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean, girl?

Do you know what I mean? It's like, you know, playing with a BB gun.

I felt like.

Like.

My mom might be worried, but I'm not. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean, girl? Do you know what I mean? Like I'm good.

Like I can take him.

Right?

All right.

Okay.

Kim Possible said I attract bisexuals, but now I live in the middle of nowhere. Okay? So if you find yourself attracting bisexual men, you might have a bob or you might have.

Butterfly locks.

Girl. You don't know if you're a lock or a braid, girl. Those bisexual and gay men, they'll flock right to you.

Oh, someone said they about to get a bob.

Girl. Short 4C. That's Lupita realness, right? That's white white, white, white till you die, girl.

What if you're not attracted to his smell? What does that mean?

Like he stinks or his natural musk or like pheromone.

By the way, if y' all want to work with me professionally, because y' all are just talking to me personally, personally, now.

You can go to the link in my bio and you can book a consultation call with me, and I will help you in your love life. On a more serious note.

Joby said, a lot of white guys who match with me assume I'm a dom. Why? Please. I look like a model. Yeah, girl, you look like a dom model.

Girl, I think God's trying to tell you something, that you're a dom.

Lean in.

Yeah.

Someone said, yes, girl. Yes, Nicole. Nate.

Said, are you Jamaican, Anwar? I mean, no shade, but all of us.

Are African, Brazilian, Jamaican, Haitian.

American, honey.

That's how it goes, you know? You know.

The hair lady said, what about us aunties? What about y'? All? What question do you have, lady?

Talk about the quiet boys. What do they got to hide, Girl? Depends. You got different quiet guys. You got the guys that are hiding their big Ds. Some of the quiet guys are hiding that.

Some of them are hiding the fact that they are really nerdy. Some of them are hiding the fact that they have a stage that are.

Let me see. Yes, honey.

Y' all better get into this dumb life, honey.

Okay, what questions? Do you have thoughts on military men?

I wouldn't recommend it to my worst enemy.

It's that ptsd, girl. They come back and they still think that they're at war. And guess what? You the only one in front of them, which means that you're the enemy. They can't get out of fight mentality. They're always. They're always on the defense. They always are wanting to fight.

Right. It jacks them up.

Yeah. The other thing about military men that a lot of people don't really talk about is, like, if you're in the military, you're literally told what to do all day, every day. And so what happens is, when he comes back home, he is going to want to overcompensate for always being told what to do. And so he will want to always tell you what to do and control you.

And.

That'S a no. No, that's not going to work for most of us. Yeah, that's the second thing. The third thing is a lot of these guys are strays. Straight gays. And if they're in the Navy, girl, I call it G.

They're getting it.

And I know most of y' all don't want to be with a stray.

So please understand, girl, I have a lot of my girls. They're like, oh, girl, I got a. Girl, I got a 1.9 GPA. Girl. I don't got nothing going for me, girl. I'm just gonna go in the Navy. That's how they do it, girl. Girl, I'm gonna have like three or five boyfriends, girl. I'm gonna, you know, get my education paid. Paid for, right? You know, get all those home loans, girl. And they getting it in.

These. Girl, I need to tell you something. Most of y' all know, but these men literally think about sex all day, every day. Their corn consumption is mind blowing.

So.

They're going to get it in.

With anybody that's there.

Someone said, even the air force man. Girl. Mile high club girl.

Sheena, the Queena said, navy veteran here, you know that they were getting it in. Girl. Do you know how much sexual abuse happens in the military? Because they're going to get it in however. However they need to. These men in the military.

You have to be inhumane.

Right? And so that is how they're thinking about a lot of different aspects of their life to do what they have to do.

Someone's saying ex professional chess players. Go, I don't know nothing about them.

Magical Forever said, three dates in three days is a red flag. Yeah, yeah. That's love bombing. He's chasing you. He's not pursuing you.

Girl who dates chess players, girl.

I'm just kidding. I'm pretty sure they have big ODs. Girl. No shade.

Yeah.

Okay. Someone said, amor, tell us your sign. Girl My cancer.

How about men who have been the present similar thing. Someone said, asking for a friend. Girl. Priscilla, Girl, we know it's you, girl. Shut up. We know it's you, girl. Same thing. Those men are getting it in as well. And.

Girl, forget what you heard. Those girls, the girls, a lot of them are running the prison and their currency and their weight is their bussy. So please understand the thing that I'm most worried about when it comes to prison guys is the fact that.

20%, 20, around 20% of them come in to incarceration with an STI, but 80% of them leave with one.

Yeah, love act after lockup. Girl. That's what, that's what it's giving.

Someone said red for filth.

Someone said they want to play chess. Now.

Understand that T girl, that doesn't come from nowhere.

It's a stray. A straight gay. Straight. Meaning he's not really gay, but he just needs to get off. That's the concept. Happens in the military habits in prison. Happens outside of those two areas too. Girl.

Happens the guys that are into trans women. I would put them in that category as well.

The thing that I will say that I think is important for a lot of women, women out here. This is why I'M yeah, I'm kikiing and I'm being really fun. Right. But this is actually very serious because.

The rates of HIV, sti.

The ones that are mostly being affected are black women.

So I'm sharing this information that, so that you understand like, oh, like this is something that regularly happens and I want you to. I think a lot of people think, oh, not my guy. He's the exception to the. He's the exception.

Very few.

Very few are not engaging because. Girl, no shade. When in Rome, they do as the Romans do and did.

Okay, Pamper says, what about men who want to marry fast or get married fast? Green card tea girl.

I don't trust it.

I don't trust it.

Okay.

Mandy said, is once a week date considered love bombing? No, that's a good pace.

The traveling teacher. Does the three month rule count for long distance? Long distance is a little bit different. So I always say like after because generally when you're doing long distance you're going to have probably two like weekend come togethers where, where you will have a good.

I don't know, three to four dates for each weekend, let's say. So with both of those, let's say visits, you'll have about eight dates and the time before the first meeting and the time between the first and the second meeting will generally be two to four weeks. It'll be roughly two months for two visits. That's on average.

Then after that seven second visit, generally y' all might be in a good position.

Okay, sounds like maybe I need to do a video about these military men too girl. Because some of the girls are like, I got my man's in the military.

And that. Girl.

No shade.

Moni said, are elite men attracted to plus sized women enough to marry? What are elite men? Is my question.

Yeah, girl. Having a military man is not a flex. I don't think personally. And the reason I say that is because most of them are actually very scary, have some serious issues. Ptsd. Just like the NFL players with the CTE girl, they don't have their minds.

So.

Someone said chasing and pursuing. Can you explain?

Chasing is. I want three dates in a week. Pursuing is one date a week. Pursuing is a jog. It's not a sprint. Yeah, chasing is like, it's the feeling of, you know when like you were a little girl and you were playing tag and some boy was it and he was chasing, chasing you and you were kind of cracking up and having a good time while he was chasing you. But there was still, there was a hint of fear involved. That's how you will feel when you're being chased.

Chasing is I'm texting you all day, every day. Pursuing is I text you maybe once, twice a day. If he's texting you more than three times a day, he's probably chasing you.

Chasing is trying to get into a relationship with you after the first date or in the first month. Pursuing is letting it take two to three months.

Chasing is.

Emotionally dumping on you and telling all of your all of his tea to you to try to trauma bond with you. Pursuing is telling you a little bit, each by each, bit by bit. Right? So you're getting to know a little bit more about him each and every day.

Chasing says, I love you really quickly before, right after the first date. Pursuing is saying I love you probably three to four months after the relationship.

Someone said, pursuing his plan. Basically, it's not necessarily planned.

But there's no rush and I'm not. And the guy is not trying to make you do something when someone is chasing. First of all, monsters and zombies chase people. When someone is chasing you, they're changing your natural way of being.

But the gag is that most of the time, many of us will love the chase because it means that we have attention and exciting attention.

And this is why you won't often hear me say, I need that guy to be obsessed with you.

Because it's really hard to distinguish between a man being obsessed with you and a man chasing you.

I actually want him to be a little bit flustered and scared of you.

That's what I want for you.

Because if he isn't fully scared, if he isn't a little bit scared of you, then he's not taking you seriously enough.

Samantha said, please do a video on that girl. I'll try. I'll try.

Jessica. Janine said, amor, if he is a little scared, what if he says you are aggressive, Then he's really scared. He's not little scared. He's really scared of you.

Someone asked why scared? Scared because he doesn't want to lose you.

Scared, right? Scared because he doesn't want to mess up. He doesn't want to be outside of your boundaries. Scared because.

He doesn't want to ruin this. Right? I was talking about this earlier in the live. A lot of these guys will be scared to make a move on you because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. He doesn't want to ruin the. This amazing thing that he had that y' all have going on.

But a lot of women out there will feel Offended if he doesn't make a move. Right.

I would feel a little bit offended when the guy's trying to make a move during or after the first date. In my experience.

Those guys aren't.

Relationship ready most of the time. They're more physical. A guy that is, like, ready to be a husband is, like, not focused on getting it in.

Not kissing, not hugging, because he knows that he's going to take.

However much time it takes.

To get to know you, to relationship you, to marry you. He's not in a rush.

Yeah. So.

Something to think about.

All right. What time is it? Because I. Girl, I gotta get my beauty sleep.

What's that sound?

Okay.

Should I be approaching guys? Someone said, and if yes, what should I be saying? I don't think you should be approaching guys, but I do think that you should position yourself well so that you can be. You can interact.

I guess I have a different definition of approaching. I don't think you should walk up to a guy, but I also don't think that you should not, like, start a conversation with a guy that's, like, next to you, like, at a bar.

Yeah.

And thank you all so much for the 100, almost 127,000 likes here on Tik Tok. Appreciate it. Growing Jasmine said. How do you feel about Christian men?

I think that many of them are.

A little bit sheltered and actually won't approach you and won't tell you how they feel about you, like, very directly or openly. So sometimes it's really tricky to date them.

Also, a lot of Christian men can be a little bit judgmental and you use the word to try to control women and what they do and their actions. So that's something that you need to just, I think, be thinking about and be cognizant of as you're engaging with them.

I think many of them are lovely men. But the thing is, a lot of Christian men that are lovely are taken.

I also think it's important to understand there's a difference between a Christian man that is just going to church every week and a Christian man that is living the word. And oftentimes I see those kinds of men that are living the word, they're out there volunteering. They're, like, doing the things that are Christlike. They don't just go to church. Right. Because it's a social gathering.

Trying to think.

Yeah, that's what I would say to that.

Catch. But catch how they talk about people when they start saying things like, oh, he shouldn't be doing that, or she shouldn't be doing that. That's coming from a judgmental place.

That's not coming from a loving, accepting.

So.

Something to think about.

As you're like navigating Christian men. Some of them do think that they're God.

Especially the preachers.

But.

Respectfully speaking, there are a lot of devout men.

That are preachers that lean into the church because they are very repressed and they think that their work in the church is going to help them not be gay.

That's why the majority of the priests out there in the Catholic church are gay. Girl. Most the of shade.

But so something that again, you're gonna have to girl, get, get, get yourself a gay friend. Your gay friend will tell you if this guy's gay or not.

The gay friend will clock it easy because I know pretty quickly if someone is into me.

By the feet and also how they look at me. Sometimes they're looking at me up and down. Sometimes they're looking at me longer than two or three seconds. That's when I know.

Always have a gay friend.

Always.

Okay.

And we try to tell you. Yeah.

So kind of said, will you be my friend? I'll be your friend, but not your gay friend.

Elizabeth Ann said, what does it mean when a guy looks me up and down? It means that you're a piece of meat and he's happy hungry.

It means that you're a hamburger. Chomp, chomp, womp, womp.

Les Les Nicole said, what if a guy is into you but still fumbles, girl, Just like football, girl. When, when, when somebody fumbles, girl.

They go the other way. You gotta go the other way.

Okay.

Yes, girl. A hamburger, girl. A whopper.

A Big Mac.

Someone said goodbye.

Dennis said, I don't watch football. Girl, you don't have to girl. These men are fumbling the fumbling all day every day during dating. You don't, you don't think, you know, you want, don't watch football, girl. You live in football in your dating life.

I don't want to hear that ever again.

Yes, honey. Mini flags on the place, honey. And where is reading honey? I'm trying to grow what type of men work for Christian women. I don't want a man in church. In my experience.

The men that work well with the nice girls and the Christian women are the blue collar workers.

That's been my experience.

Yeah.

Ayla said, and where I'm dating a Persian man who doesn't want to pay for the fourth date. A Persian man who doesn't want to date is not Persian.

That's like sacrilege.

Lily said, blue collar is at warehousemen. I'm not saying warehousemen. I'm saying H Vac workers, plumbers working in construction foremans, painters, things like that.

Vivi said, amore, please don't go to sleep, girl. I'm about to.

Soap Goddess said, should I divest? You haven't divested already. I think that everyone should date everybody. I don't think we should say no to black men. I think that you should date everybody and see who wins. I really think that, like, half of my clients get with black men, healthy black men. The other half get with non black men.

Yes, a farmer is as a blue collar worker.

Jack said, where do I find blue collar men, though? Girl, you can go to Home Depot or Lowe's.

Girl. You can break something in your house and call somebody.

Yeah, girl, they're out working.

NB Jim. YG said blue collar sounds broke. Am I wrong? You're wrong if you live in a major city. Those plumbers are making six figures.

Don't get it twisted. They're get. They're getting paid more money because nobody wants to take to take those jobs on the oil rigs and things like that.

They're not. They're not broke.

Girl.

UPS, FedEx delivery.

Girl.

Money and body, girl. They got legs.

Legs.

Shoot.

Girl. Those UPS drivers, delivery people 150k, girl. Some of them, girl.

Yes, honey. Trade school, honey. Trade.

UPS has blue cost, Blue Shield and blue Animar in a second.

Girl.

Girl.

Black and blue. But y' all don't know nothing about that. Y' all know nothing about that. Honey.

Les Nicole said something.