Dating Q&A - 4-20-25

Foreign.

Hello, Hello. Hello, everyone. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I hope everyone is doing well. It's good to see you all. I hope you. I hope you haven't missed me too much. I've been sick all week. I don't know what the kids gave me, but they gave me something wicked. So, girl, I was in the bed. I was resting, recuperating, and also.

Trying to keep this business running, keep my family intact and everything. I'm so happy to see you all. I'm so happy to be back. I hope everyone is doing well. Thank you so much for the well wishes. Yes, I'm feeling much, much better. What's tea, y'? All. Happy Easter. He has risen. He has risen. I'm feeling better today, but, like, literally from Tuesday to Friday, I was, like.

Violence that. You've been going viral, girl, every couple of weeks. I've been going viral.

Every couple of weeks, girl. Yes. It happens, girl. It happens.

Oh, my gosh. So happy that you all are here. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Coach Anwar. I'm a dating coach for black and brown women, and I'm here to answer any and all of your questions. Yeah, dating, love, relationships, men, women, what have you. Someone says COVID 19. Girl. Was Covid 20. It was Covid 25.

So what's. What's really the tea, honey? Was really the tea. That's what I want to know. That's what I want to know. Someone said you rose up, girl. Girl, I rose up from the dead, honey, because I was sick all week. Happy resurrection day to the Lord and to me. No shade. Yes.

Yes, honey. Yes, Honey. The girls are saying that I've been going viral. The girls have been coming for you, Girl, a lot of people come for me. People have been coming for me my entire life. Do you think that that phases me at all?

Girl, no, no, I. Literally every other day, we're getting people into relationships.

Like, girl, we're. We're doing the work right? One of my clients got married this past week, girl. Yesterday, another client in Atlanta, Mind you, G A Y Central.

Found her a man, Latino. Man at that, honey. Get into that. Get into that. Yeah, Honey, the girls are saying that maybe I'm too expensive for them. That's okay.

Someone said the girls help you go viral. They need to hear it. I guess so. I guess so. I guess so. I'm not. I'm not tripping about that, though, girl. I'm not.

Okay, so this is a Q and a. This is a Q and A. Put your Questions in the chat and I am going to answer them in the order that I see them. Someone said the girl are saying you are 10k. Well, the girl that reached out and did that video, she's been working with me for a couple of years. But the way that the girls are gagging on the 10k, I guess I should raise my prices to 10k, honey. Let me know in the, in the comments. Should I be raising my prices to 10k? Because I do have a level that I work with Hollywood celebrities and they're paying much more than that. By the way.

Someone said, don't you dare.

Honey. I mean, the way that the girls are gagging when you do the math, girl, it's, it's basically the same as getting Mani patties.

Yes, honey, we take monthly payments, but girl, at the end of the day, girl, a lot of the girls are.

Upset because.

It'S expensive, but no shade, girl. When you're the best.

You have to charge as if you're the best. I'm not Walmart.

So why would I try to be Walmart?

Gag on that.

And I think that the greater message here is.

Please know your worth, ladies.

Please know it.

Even in these dating streets, you're worth. You're a million bucks.

Are you treating yourself as if you're worth more than a million bucks? Because I know I am.

If you are not treating yourself as if you are a million bucks.

Then you're not going to be meeting men that got a million bucks to spend.

Yeah. ECE said, thank you for enlightening us and affirming us and reminding us on how powerful black women are and we are worthy to be loved 100%.

A hundred percent.

Caitlyn said a million seems a little cheap for me. Gag on that. You're right, girl. You're right, girl. 10 mil. 10 mil. 10 mil.

That's right. That's right. Okay.

Ladies, what are the questions? I want to help you out as much as possible because these Q and A sessions are not about me. They never have been, they never will be. They're going to be about you. This is why I come in and answer these questions. Yeah. So what questions do you have for me? And by the way, I'm going to be on here for a little bit. If there's anything that I say that resonates with you, that touches you, that you feel like I'm spilling, tap, double tap, triple tap the screen, girl. This is why I can give so much. I am here to be as generous as possible without telling you my actual Program, girl. No shade. But what I give to you here is less than 5% of my actual program. Yeah, I love y', all, but you're not my clients.

So keep on doing the lives. Keep on listening to the podcast, Honey. String it together. Okay.

Someone said, I just like the way you talk like a white girl. Get into it, honey. Valley girl tea.

Valley Girl Tea, L.A. girl said they have caviar taste, but on a beer budget. I don't like that mix, honey. Never have, never will. Reyna said is dating while abstinence till marriage makes things a thousand times harder. Maybe not a thousand times harder, but a hundred times harder, because 95% of men are not going to wait. And that's no shade. They don't want. They don't want to wait.

Honey. They want to get it in, and they want to get it in now. And no shade. I do, too. I might have to go over into my bedroom and talk to my hubby, honey, because, honey, a girl's gotta eat. If you need to eat, girl, put eat in the comments. I need to know if I'm the only one that needs to eat, honey, because she's hungry. She's hungry, honey. Who's eating tonight? Who needs to eat? Yes, honey. Honey, the girls are hungry. The girls are hungry. Like the country, honey. Like the country. Someone said I need to get eight. I know that's right and wrong at the same time, honey.

Mm.

Yes.

All right, honey. Some of y' all getting nasty, Honey. Honey, keep it in your pants, girl. Keep it in your pants, girl. I just said give me the hashtag. Nothing else. Nothing else, honey. Nothing else. Yeah, a lot of y' all are hangry.

Oh, someone Kimberly said I ate.

See, that's why I say, girl, y' all gotta keep it in your pants, honey. Gotta keep it in your pants.

Okay, Missy said, what's your take on living with a man for over five years and no ring? I would never live with a man without being engaged. Half of my clients move in before engagement. Half of my clients move in after engagement. You should never be with a man if you're not engaged with him within two years.

You will get played. You're getting played. And that's no shade. Girl, I want you to think of having no ring aside. Girl, I want you to think of having no ring as being naked. If you're with a man and you don't have a ring, it's. You're like that girl that was with Kanye and he prance her around naked everywhere. That's how you look right now, and that's no shade. I'm just letting you know. So. Missy.

We're not living that way anymore.

Okay? Don't be that girl.

Don't be that girl. Okay? Someone said men are not approaching. What's the deal? Girl, they're scared, girl. They're in their feminine era, girl.

They're also on my team.

Girl. There's so many of them, girl, now I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. Like, it's like they're surrounding me. I shouldn't feel like I can take half the guys out there.

That's the gag.

So y' all need to be careful. I've never seen it this bad, honey. It's like they're just. They're just getting more and more rainbow esque.

Girl, there's so many. I'm starting. I'm starting to turn conservative, girl. That's how many of them there are out here. I'm like, there's too many. Some of y' all need to go back in the closet. And that's no shade.

Like, girl, it's too many.

Too many.

It's too much.

Yeah, yeah, girl, I. I'm almost going. I'm almost flipping conservative because it's like, grow.

I can't. If I'm going places and I feel like I can take each and every one of you, there's a problem.

There's a problem.

Yeah.

Anyway, okay, let me get. Let me, let me get into these, Let me get into these questions, honey, before. Before they, they cut me off here because you know they will.

You know they will.

Okay.

Okay. Oh, my God. Someone said, what's my sign? Girl? I'm a cancer. Sensitive, moody, hangry.

Kelly said, how do I attract men at work? Girl, this is how you attract men at work. Stay at your desk, do your job, get a promotion, and don't give an F about those men at work.

Girl, the gag is that.

Well, first I need to know what you do, but.

You want to stay away from there, girl. You want to stay away from there.

You don't want to f. Where you work.

Am I crazy here? Ladies, let me know. Am I saying thing that's like outside of the norm?

Yes, honey, don't give away your honey where you get your money. You know what I'm saying?

Please don't. Please don't. Okay. Vanessa said how to not be intimidated by men. What do you mean intimidated by men?

Who is intimidated by men?

Here's the thing. Some men are scary. I'm not going to lie to you. And y' all Know this because you're you. You have that lived experience. But the way that I think is really important is to understand that most of them are little boys inside. And I don't say this to minimize them. I just think that everyone is, like.

Oftentimes is like navigating with their inner child. So I say this to say, when you think about that, it's easy to understand that these are little boys.

These are little boys.

For any of y' all that have nephews, are you intim. Intimidated by a nephew.

Or a younger cousin? That's how I think about them. And I want you to think about them in the same way.

When I tell you.

Once you start thinking about them as little boys, you be and your energy suggests that you'll be surprised that they will show more and more of their little boydom around you when you start to tell these men exactly what's up and what you want them to do. And that if they don't do it, you're out or you're not going to give them life. They'll do that. Yeah, they'll do that.

Oh, my God, girl. What? Why you got these bears all upon me? Girl, you're not as married. Okay. I'm seeing people on Instagram talk about men that are separated.

I've never seen it work with a man that's separated. The thing about a man that is separated is that.

He hasn't completed things.

I talk about this with my children every day. When they make a sandwich and they don't put the bread back, I say, this is not complete.

And I say the same thing for men that are separated, because if they can't complete things, they won't know how to finish it. They won't know how to get things done. And I think it's very telling beyond the fact that he's still married. Right.

We need to understand that he could be the one of the best people in the world, but if he can't get things done, he. He can't get things done for his future family.

And now you're stuck.

Like the bread that's not in the pantry.

It'S a problem.

Yeah.

So don't be that bread, girl.

Yeah. Okay. Let me see what y' all are talking about. And thank you so much for the 25,000likes here on TikTok already. We're gonna. We're gonna get it all situated.

Shayla said I did, and we just had a baby and were engaged. I was his boss. Girl, that sounds like you said you were gonna fire him if he didn't marry you and give you a baby girl. No shade. No, I'm kidding. Congratulations. Happy for you.

Okay, let me see what's going on here.

Miss K said men seem intimidated by. By me. A lot of men are intimidated by women.

But sometimes it's because we might be judgmental. It might be our body language.

There's a variety of different reasons why a man might be intimidated by you. To be honest with you, most of the time it is often because they don't stack up and they can't compete where they don't compare. So, like, we have to understand that most of the time it's mostly about them and less about you.

Okay.

Miracle sign said, high value men are never intimidated. Ladies, there's no such thing as a high value man.

When you start using that sort of language, then you're talking about superiority and inferiority, and there's no such thing. Everyone is equal under the law of love.

There's no such thing as high value. Everyone has value. And when you start thinking about this as high value and low value, you're approaching it from a very judgmental place. It's going to be very difficult for you to connect when you're judging, because acceptance equals love.

And the more that you can be accepting of others.

And yourself.

The easier it's going to be for you to connect with other people.

Yeah, Honey, mlk this love thing, we're all equal.

Yeah. Okay. Someone said.

Went on a date with a ginger yesterday, and I got the church hug at the end of our date. Okay, well, here's the thing. If you go on another date with him, let's see if it escalates. If he's still giving you that church hug, girl, then.

Girl, he's. Girl, he's just. He's preaching to you, girl.

He's not.

He don't want it, girl.

Yeah.

Okay, let me see what's going on here. Let me see what y' all are talking about.

Tiana said how to express interest without chasing. So you can express interest without chasing physically through eye life and smiling. Right. If you're like, being courted by a man, the way that you express interest without chasing is that when they reach out to you, that you respond enthusiastically via text. That also means, you know, emojis and things like that. But don't call a man, don't text a man. Because the reason why I say this is because, and I think a lot of people don't understand this.

Your person isn't going to need that from you.

He Likes you. So he's going to continue to engage and want to know about you. Okay.

Very important. If there's anything that I'm saying that's connecting with you, tap, double tap, triple tap the screen. If you are interested in doing this work a bit. A little bit more intensely and deeper like we do in my program, definitely go to the link in my bio and book a consultation call. Because of this whole viral mess, I'm booked for the next two or three weeks, but some people cancel here and there, so you might be able to catch a slot. Okay.

All right.

Melanated law girl said tips on how or where African American women can meet men of other races. Yeah, I mean, I guess the question is, what kind of man do you want to meet?

Always. You can always go to an ethnic restaurant, depending on the ethnicity that you're interested in.

If I want to meet a Hispanic man, I'm going to soccer games. I'm going to the guest store. If I want to meet an Asian man, I'm going. I'm shopping at Uniqlo. I'm going to Best Buy if I am. If I want an Indian man, I'm going to Indian. Indian weddings. They also like Best Buy. They like motorcycles a lot, so I'd be around there.

If I like white guys, I'm going to pro bass shop.

I'm going to some Renaissance fairs because I love a good nerd and a good dork.

If I want old white, I'll probably golf.

Pickleball.

Yeah. Middle Eastern men. If I want a Middle Eastern man, I'll go to a luxury shopping mall. They live there.

Yeah, yeah. Anything with fishing. That's where the. That. That's where the white man is.

Yeah.

Just. I hope that helps, honey. Get them all. Collect them like Pokemon.

Let's go.

Like, I need y'. All. I need y' all to just. I need you to catch these men, honey.

Stop being intimidated by them and catch them.

Someone said hiking. Don't go hiking. Don't go hiking. Don't go hiking. Don't go hiking. That's. That's. That's scary. The white men are there, girl, but the weird whites are there. No shade. Those are the men that want to dig you up.

Yeah.

I don't want. I don't want to see your special on Netflix a year from now.

What about black men?

You don't want to hear where I find black men, honey. You don't want to hear it. I'll really get cancelled.

Someone said on Easter. He has risen.

He has risen.

Someone Said, say it, say it, say it.

Not church girl.

Not gas stations girl.

Not that someone said, tell us, tell us, tell us. I might tell y' all later when it gets a little bit later, when we get closer to midnight and then when Cinder fella comes out, then I'll tell y'. All. Okay? Yeah. Okay. More questions for me, ladies. What's the T?

What is the T?

So someone say. Someone said don't say off the streets.

I know that's wrong and right at the same time.

Okay, what questions do you have for me, ladies?

Okay.

Ty X reset and I want to do the program, but I'm 23. What are my options? Girl, I really don't work with anyone that is younger than 26.

I say that with love and respect. You've been following me for a while, so book a consultation call and we'll talk. But.

Men don't get really serious until after the age of 26. And that's for like less educated men. Men that are educated, they don't get really serious until the age of 32. This is research backed, right? So the women that come into my program, they want partner, they want to get married, they want to have children.

Beast Stoke Production said, why so many young men in 30s have ED or PE.

Problems? Girl, because it's all they're do. They're watching a lot of corn with a P and their diet and the things that are in foods are not good for you. Just like all of the. A lot of the hair products that a lot of black women are using, the formulas have been changed and they're not great for you anymore that are like, you know, increasing fibroids and things like that. Yeah. Same thing's happening with black men.

So.

Yeah, please, Hania, I hope the man that you get, I hope it works.

Because if it doesn't, then he has not risen.

And that's a problem. I can't do it. And we can't wait three days, girl.

Someone said, is it bad for me to date a pro NBA coach to meet his friends and colleagues?

I think it's all about intention.

And that intention doesn't seem pure to me.

Yeah.

Cey said, how are your male clients doing out in them streets? I don't have male clients. I don't work with men.

The.

No, I don't work with men. I work with women. Black and brown women. I do have some white women that I work with, but it's 85% black and brown women.

Yeah. And why? Because I love black and brown women. And respectfully Speaking. I get the best results with them because they actually listen. I say, okay, girl, do this, this, this and this. And they do it. And we get amazing results. It's great.

Girl. Men. I'm a dating coach, but I barely like them. I like 10% of them. The 10% that are relationship ready.

Tip said, I feel like you're the in real life, Hitch. You know, I used to live in Italy and I used to have a. I still have a friend.

And we were tall, skinny, black, beautiful black boys that just got attention everywhere. And we used to tell everyone that we were models and we used to get everything while I was living in Milan. And he used to tell me back then, this was.

Almost 20 years ago.

You're like Hitch. It was right when the movie came out. You're Hitch. Because I was telling the boys. Getting the boys together, honey. Yeah.

So thank you for that. I think my new name should be Hitch.

So how tall are you? I'm. I used to be 6 3. Now I'm 6 2. Because I'm old. I'm old boots now. Old boots.

Yeah. What about guys at the gym?

There are different kinds of guys in the gym. There are like the bodybuilder types. There are the I want to look pretty types. Those are the guys that have like their top half doesn't match their bottom half. Like they have chicken legs, but they like are stacked on the top. Stay away from those guys when it's always arm day for them. They just, they just want to, they want to be the prize. Right. I like guys that look like they can chop a tree down.

Yeah, those are the guys that you should be focused on. The bodybuilder guys, they. No shade. I think that.

Okay, well they're really into plus size women. So if you're not plus size, you probably don't have a chance with a lot of the bodybuilder types.

Metamorphosis Said, are you going to the conference in May? Which conference is that?

IM Lana Said. Do you think it's harder to date for dark skinned women? I don't think. I know. And the research says that.

It is more difficult. And if you're a darker skinned woman and your friends are telling you no girl, you got this.

No girl. It's more difficult.

It'S harder. It just, it means it may take a little bit longer. It also means that your boundaries are going to have to be too legit to quit because a lot of these men will try you. Right. I think that the marriage rate for darker skinned women are in the teens, if you're a lighter skinned woman, it's in the 40s, 40th, 50th percentile. Similar to the white girls and lighter skinned Latina girls. If you're medium skin tone, then you're in the high 20s, early 30s. I want to be honest with you, I hate that people are like, you know, there's no difference.

There is a difference and I think it sucks, but there's a difference. But I think it's important for you, if you are a darker skinned woman, to understand this and hopefully this inspires you to expand or widen your net. That's why.

I'm always saying this, right? Because a lot of the darker skinned women, they're like, oh my God, the only guys that are going to be checking for me are black guys. Girl, do you know how much colorism, texturism, black guys have? Yuck.

Girl, the girl, if you are dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, that means you gotta get to the light, light, light, light, light. Like you want pale, pale, pale, pale.

The palest guys like the darkest women.

Okay, Aggie said, and why I want to apologize, I was being critical about $10,000. I'm sorry girl, I don't care.

Every, sometimes people think Louis Vuitton is really expensive. That's okay.

Girl, do you. Okay. Metamorphosis Global Love Institute Matchmakers Conference. Girl, I'm not going to that conference. I'm not a matchmaker. And if you are a black woman and you want, are you thinking about getting a matchmaker? Don't.

Don'T.

Don'T. Those matchmakers don't know what to do with you, girl. Their success rate is 5% and that's for the white girls. So you probably going to need to divide that by 10 to know what your potential success rate is.

And if you don't believe, if you don't believe me.

I want you to think to yourself.

Have I met a black woman that used a matchmaker and is now happily married?

Please let me know in the chat.

My point exactly.

People are talking about, oh my God, he's not even a matchmaker. Why would I be a matchmaker?

Because here's the thing that a lot of people don't understand, especially if you are a black or brown woman.

Even if I put your perfect man in front of you, you might not be ready for that relationship yet. Based on the trauma that you might have experienced in your lifetime, we've got to be able to heal that so that you're ready for the best relationship of your life.

That's the work that we do in my program.

Someone said the matchmaker I went to was single.

I want to say something and I think it's really important and I've gotten a lot of ish about this, but I do think it's important to understand that if you do decide to get a dating coach and guess what, you don't have to.

I actually think it's very important for you to get with one that is in a healthy relationship. And the reason I say this is because the skills that you need to have while dating you, there are different skills that you are going to need to develop while you're in the actual relationship. Y' all can get into an actual relationship tomorrow. It might not be a great one, but each and every one of you can get into a relationship. There are different skills associated with dating versus relationship, and those people that have that perspective will also be thinking about that while they are coaching you while you're dating.

Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Anna Maria Lopez said, please answer. We had two great dates and he went too quiet for these past. These past days. What.

What do you think? How long. When's the last time you heard from him?

That's what I want to know.

Nicole said, why would I want to hire a car salesman that takes the bus?

Someone said, can you talk about DL men please one more time? No, I don't want to talk about them. They're lame.

Said the men need coaches. They sure do. They need coaches. They also need male mentors. And the reason they need that is because most of them grew up without fathers. And that's no shade. Look at the research. It's actually on all tea.

So they don't even know what it looks like to be a man in a relationship. They don't know how to court.

These are all very important things.

So they're going in blind as well.

Right? They don't have someone sitting them down and saying, just like most of y' all were not taught how to date. They weren't taught that how to date either.

Someone said they learned off of music videos. Yeah, girl. The tip drill video from Nelly.

So, yeah, okay. Tips say, what about ginger white men and dark skinned women? Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

What did I say? If you're a darker skinned woman, you need to get with the palest person you can see. And those gingers are translucent pale.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. What else?

Someone keeps on asking about thoughts on black women and Mexican men. Trend. That's on TikTok. That's not a trend.

It's not like it's starting right now. That's been happening.

But the Mexican men, they like, they like a rounder black woman and a medium and darker skinned black woman. That's what I've noticed in general.

Yeah, honey, get it together. But make sure that I always say this and people, you know, shade me to all hell, but you need, you need, you need a, you need, you need a Mexican man that is working.

Six to six.

Because.

Those men.

Cheat.

I've said too much.

I've said too much.

He needs to work so hard so much that he doesn't even have the energy to cheat.

If he works in eight to five, girl, he's cheating from five to six.

I don't know what to tell you. And if you don't believe me.

Talk to my Latina hermanas.

Someone said, don't all men cheat? I would say like 70% of men cheat.

But 90% of Mexican men cheat.

Someone said, you said just enough.

Someone keeps on asking me about my thoughts about on love after lock up. Stop getting with prisoners.

You will become a prisoner.

The gag is.

If you get with, if you start talking to a prisoner and, and guess what? There are girls out there that do that because they need attention. And that's no shade. We all need attention as humans. Please understand, he's using you to get. Make sure that the time passes by.

Also, that STD rate when a man enters prison and when he exits prison.

Goes up 4x from 20% to 80%.

So I'm not going to use my eyeballs to support these storylines that actually are creating danger for the women that are engaging with prisoners.

Contrary to popular belief.

I'm actually very, very. People think I'm using women. Whatever. I'm very sensitive to, like, women's issues and women being protected. Like, I can't, girl, I couldn't even get through the first two to three episodes of Handmaiden's Tale. Like, that disrupts my spirit so much that I literally cannot.

Right.

So, yeah.

Yeah, I don't like it.

Okay.

Avia said, in your opinion, which men are less likely to cheat?

I mean, research says that white and Asian men are less likely to cheat.

But in terms of like, professions and things like that, I don't know. I would have to think about it. I have to go into my vault of different data points of all of my clients and see. But it's a, the thing is, it's a mentality.

Right? It's like if you're underemployed, unemployed, high likelihood to cheat. If you Are, you know, feeling emasculated, Higher likelihood to cheat, Right?

Yeah. There's a lot of different, like variables in terms of why men are cheating or why they decide to.

A Poison Ivy said if 70% of men cheat, how many, how many women do you think cheat? I think the research said 30 to 40%.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, let me see what's going on here. Al Nisa said, is it harder for women over 45 even with great careers? I think the older that you get, the less available men are. You just literally your pool is smaller. And.

These men have been living in a certain way. The older that they get, the less likely they are to be open minded and compromising. So that's why it's harder to date when you're older. Right. Like girl, your, your pool was, you know, 90 when you were in your 20s, 70 when you're in your 30s, 50 when you're in your, you know, 40s, 50s.

Okay. Salon Nina said cuckoo. And why cuckoo? Nina, do you think open marriage work? What do you think?

I'm not sure. I mean I think it's obviously very dependent on the, the couple and dynamic. I've seen it work before on the the couple and dynamic. I've seen it work before.

I just, I think that there has to be a lot of trust and a lot of roles.

But you know, people are making it work every day.

Someone said. Tracee Ellis Ross, recent interview with Michelle Obama. Any thoughts? Well, if you are on my Instagram, you saw that I literally talked about how black women need to only focus on younger men and that a lot of my actual, my clients, like 70% of them get with men that are three to six years younger than they are.

That's what I would focus on.

Yeah.

Butterfly said, you have an accent. Where are you from, girl? It's a Valley girl accent. I'm from Southern California.

Also. Some people would call this a WW accent, if you know what I mean.

Okay, what dating questions do you have, ladies? Why are younger men better? Younger men are going to be less stuck in their ways. They're probably going to have less toxic masculinity, they're going to revere you more as a queen. And because they're going to respect and honor the value that you bring to the relationship and to life, they're not going to try to compete with you.

As much.

Ian said, I thought you were in Canada. I am in Canada. I'm from la. I've been here for nine years now. My husband is French Canadian. I get this question a lot.

User9111 said, Dang, what's the average age of your clients? Good question. I would probably say upper 30s.

Yeah.

Tyler said, advice on dating overly friendly men. I'm not just asking.

When you say overly friendly men, what do you mean exactly? Cello girl said, do you work with women loving women? I sure do. I would say 5 to 10% of my client base are queer women. So, yeah, honey, get into it. If you're interested, definitely book a consultation call. There might not be a lot of slots, but, girl, book it anyway. If you have any issues booking, send me an email@anmoretourguycoaching.com and my team and I will coordinate something with you, honey. But the girls are coming into the program. We're getting them huge. Huge trans. We're doing transformational work here. I just want to say something because I got a lot of ish over the past couple of weeks about, oh my God, your stuff on social media. It's not worth the money. Do you understand that, like, my social media is less than 5% of my actual program?

Do you understand that I have complete strategies for online dating and offline dating. I have complete evaluation criteria for dates for between date behavior that we have over 35 different worksheets for you to fill out so you can gain more clarity and confidence on a variety of different aspects of your dating life, from boundaries to vulnerability to confidence to mindset to feminine energy to inner child wounds.

And I'm saying this because I think a lot of people don't understand dating coaching. This is about transformation. This isn't about information. So this is about making sure that you're doing things completely different for a different, different result.

Jamila said, I love Coach Anwar's program. Definitely worth the investment.

Yes, girl, you doing it. You doing it. I'll see you tomorrow night in the relationship program that we have within the program. Yeah.

Okay.

I speak six languages. No, five fluently.

Okay.

Kelly said, can you coach all races? So we definitely do. We book a consultation call. We'll see if it's a good fit. If it is, we'll bring you on. Say 5% of the clientele is was white.

J said, is it really possible for POC plus size women to date up? So I don't even know what date up means.

But I think that they can date successfully.

Yeah.

Mima said, here I was thinking the podcast was 20%.

Girl. It does, girl. The podcast is information.

Okay. Becky said, why do men love to play the victim? Narcissistic men love to Play the victim.

So the question is, if you continue to engage with and or choose narcissistic men, then something might be happening in the way that you're interacting with men that we need to explore.

Oftentimes, what that looks like is when you are emotionally unavailable, you won't be vulnerable with a guy. And when you're not vulnerable with a guy, what happens is you don't test his availability, like his emotional availability and capacity to hold space for you. This is why it's very important to be vulnerable. It's not enough for me to just say, okay, girl, be vulnerable.

In my program, what we do is we delve into.

The fact that the reason why you don't feel vulnerable is because you don't feel safe. And the reason why you don't feel safe is because there's inner child wounds that you need to heal. So in my program, we go through those wounds. Yeah. Okay. Kate Gardner said, anwar, I'm a hetero black male. Welcome. You're. You're few and far between over here and saw your interview on off the Record. I thought it was amazing and learned from it as well. Thank you for what you're doing. Blessings to you. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah. Honey. What I'm starting to learn is that some of these men are starting to follow me, honey. They're trying. They're starting to catch the game, girl. Just trying to catch what the real gag is. And that they're learning from this.

Gems of the gram set. You don't want to be vulnerable with the narcissist. Oh, you do.

You do. Because they. They won't know what to do with it.

And once you see that, once you share something vulnerable, and then he brings the conversation back to him, you'll realize, oh.

You don't really care.

Like, you don't know how to do this because everything's about you, and then you step away.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That. That's what we do in this. In my program. So that you have the internal safety.

To kill it.

Yeah. Oh, hello. Shift healing from scratch. She said she's an alum. She got her guide, too. When. When y' all get engaged. Honey, I need to know when the engagement is happening, so let me know.

Okay.

Kale said, do you. Or have you worked with neurodivergent women? Here's what I want you to know if you're a school girl. Oh, end of the year. All right. All right, girl. I know that's right. All right. I'm going talk to you around Thanksgiving time.

That sounds about right? Yeah. Neurodivergent. Okay. So if you're a school girl, if you're a smart girl.

No shade girl.

You probably a little neuro spicy. And the thing is that a lot of people.

A lot of black women are not being diagnosed until later on in life. So if you. I'm not here, I'm not a doctor, I'm not here to diagnose anyone. But what I am saying is that yes, we deal and we coach a lot of women that are neurodivergent. And dating is much harder when you're neuro spicy. And the reason is because one, you're not picking up cues as often that your rejection sensitivity is on an all time high. And the way that you communicate oftentimes can seem like you don't care about what somebody else is talking about.

And so we're here to make you aware of that and to give you some tools, some techniques to make sure one that we're managing our mindset when there's an there's not a match. But also how to communicate so that you can have a deeper emotional connection with the people that are courting you. Yeah, part of that ADHD.

Gave you the opportunity to actually study for long periods of time.

But you didn't hear that from me. You know, my doctor girls.

Those law school girls, those med school girls.

Chastity said plus size girl. Guys I meet seem to immediately lead with being physical. What might I be doing wrong? Well girl, I mean your name is Chastity. I don't think you've been doing anything wrong. I think that and I want to say this with love and respect, a lot of men will look at plus size women and think that, that they might have lower self esteem and feel like, okay, like I can do whatever I want with her body because it doesn't seem like she cares about her body. So it just means that your boundaries got to be tip top.

Like cannot play around. Anytime a man talks about your body before you've like met him on a physical date or out.

Anytime you're on a first date and a man touches you or again says something about your body, out.

And he says, oh my God, I love your shape. I love plus size out.

A lot of the plus size girls aren't doing that. They're gagging on the compliments.

And then they're getting caught up with these guys that are just using them.

So.

Faith said, how do you feel about Raya Raya Noah, the dating app. It's the only one I'm on At the moment, girl, good luck. I hope you find a really good dj.

You're welcome, Chastity.

But also, where are you meeting these guys? That's what I want to know, Chastity.

That's what I want to know. Again, oh, my God. Thank you so much for the 73, 000 likes. If there's anything that I am saying that is resonating with you, definitely chat. Tap, double tap, triple tap the screen and let's keep it rocking and rolling.

I know Keisha said, Leave the DJs out of this. I won't. There's nothing but DJs on there. Girl.

Girl, if I wanted a DJ, I just go to Ibiza.

I don't need Raya for that.

Okay, I think I read that question already.

So Laura said, how do you feel about deleting all the apps? Do you have any clients that do that? So in my program, we date online and offline. And the reason why we do this is because.

You literally don't meet people offline.

So there are skills that we are practicing in my program. Boundaries, vulnerability, flirting, bantering, that we need to practice on people and we use online to do that.

So we date in my program online and offline. So if you're thinking about that and you're like, oh, I don't want to date online, it's not going to be a good fit for you. And that's okay, by the way, but I need you to understand that I'm not here to, like, bend my program to what you feel is you want to do. My program is set for a certain reason. So because we need the practice. We need the practice. A lot of people are like, I'm done with Yabs. And then I'm like, okay, well, how many guys are you meeting offline per week in the chat, ladies, let me know. How many guys do you meet offline and you exchange numbers with per week?

Because at this point, it's going to take 150 to 200 conversations. Okay. I'm seeing a lot of zero. So you never going to meet your person.

It's going to take 200 conversations for you to find your person on average. So for all the girls that are saying, I don't want to be online, but then you see, then you chatting with zero people offline.

Thank you for being a friend. Golden girl. Get your three friends now. Put that down payment on. Go ahead and do it, girl.

Okay?

And there's no. And there's no shade if you want a golden girl. But I know that Most of you don't. Let's keep it 100.

Yeah.

Let'S keep it 100.

Someone said sing that again.

You caught me on a Sunday, honey I'm in a singing mood, honey Choir tea.

You know.

Okay. Janelle said, I'm moving to Jamaica for better dating options.

Jamaica.

Jamaican me crazy Jamaica.

The liar good deed Jamaica.

Break your heart, break your back Jamaica.

Jaime.

Girl, you lost.

Marco.

Marco.

Girl lost.

Girl. No.

Good. Deep, but no good.

No, ma'. Am.

Don't do it, girl. Don't do it.

Okay, I gotta. I gotta answer this question because this girl has been asking me about dating in Tampa for the past 20 minutes. And every five seconds, I see the same.

Same message. Anwar, in all caps. Dating in Tampa, question mark.

No.

Okay. Florida is difficult.

Western Florida.

Is the same as western Texas. Girl.

Like.

Okay, so, okay, real talk. I have two clients that are in town. I have two clients that are in Tampa. They both have partners.

And.

But that was with my strategy that I help them navigate. And these men were not the men that they would generally check for, by the way. But my strategy was helpful in vetting out the guys that are not great and letting the guys that are relationship ready go through. So very difficult, but not impossible. I think the hardest places to date are California, Texas, Florida and Atlanta.

Specific cities, la, Miami, Atlanta, Houston, Phoenix. I actually think that Houston is harder to date in than Atlanta at this point. Even with gay Atlanta.

Okay.

My Houston ladies, it takes them a while to find their person.

A lot of. A lot of y' all are saying Toronto. I agree with that. Toronto is the hardest place to date in Canada.

Britney said, why am I ghosted after the first date? They go well, they go well to you, but you don't know how other people are probably receiving you. Because if this is a pattern, it. It means that something's going on in the date that.

You might not even be, like, understanding or perceiving. If you keep on going on first dates and your first date, let's say your second date, ask rate is.

Not 50%.

Then that's something that we're going to need to analyze. Oftentimes it's probably because you're talking too much. If you're Talking more than 50% of the time.

You might be talking too much and not saying anything. If you're being judgmental on a date, not even with him, but in general, he's not going to feel emotionally safe with you and he's going to want to step away.

What else happens on the first date that the way that you look like is significantly different than the pictures that you represented yourself on online. That happens a lot as well. Those are the three major.

Major things.

Erin Ray said, I'm a dark skinned woman in Phoenix. Where should I move to? Anywhere but Phoenix.

Anywhere but Phoenix.

People keep on asking me what apps they should be on.

If you are in Atlanta, Miami, Louisiana, Houston, Phoenix, then the only app that you should be on is Zillow.com because, girl, you gotta move. You hear me?

I'm not playing games with you.

Yes, ma'. Am. Zillow. That's the only app you should be on.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

Okay, what other questions do you have?

Someone said, no Arizona at all.

Girl.

No arizona at all.

My Arizona clients are dating outside of the state right now. That's part of their specific strategy. When you're in my program, I'm giving you a specific strategy for both online and offline dating, depending on where you're at.

Someone asked, Jessica's asked, why is Houston worse than Atlanta? Houston is worse than Atlanta because.

A lot of Houston guys are punching above their weight class. A lot of the Houston guys actually moved to Houston from Atlanta because they couldn't cut it. They were a seven in Atlanta and they were getting no play. And then they came to Houston and they thought that they were a 10 and they're acting like a 10 and they're not a 10.

So when you have sevens acting like they're tens.

And treating women as such, you're going to have a disconnect.

It's not cute.

Why are y' all oofing and buying? I'm just trying to share the. I'm just trying to share the tea.

I was in Houston in November.

Someone said, Is a seven bad? A seven is not bad. But if you're a seven and you think you're a 10, you're a five and you think you're an eight.

There's a disconnect there.

And if you're an eight, if you're a five and you think you're an eight, you going for eight girls and you're a five.

You going for 10 girls and you are a seven. That doesn't work.

Sorry about it.

Okay.

And I'm sorry, I know that some people really don't like it when we talk about numbers, but I need us to understand something, ladies.

This is an economy, and we all have mate values.

That are given to us by the market. Whether it's physical, intellectual, financial, emotional. We have a mate value.

Some of us might not like to Hear that? But it is a hundred percent true.

Girl. I had to come to terms with it myself.

I was, you know, girl, I used to think, oh, my God, I'm an eight.

And then I realized, actually, I was a gay six, a straight seven.

Yeah.

Had to keep it real with myself.

I had to keep it real with myself.

Yeah.

People are like, how do you understand your number.

Sue? Marisa, you're a straight 10. Girl, there's nothing straight about me.

Girl. There no straight nothing, girl. No straight nothing.

Bit my heath bar said gay six straight seven is crazy, child. Girl.

I. You have to.

You don't understand. You don't understand gay world. Do you understand that most of those men are models? They stay in the gym.

Girl. They. They have more work done than y' all have work done. If you go into any gay magazine, the last third of the pages are plastic surgery pages, advertisements.

Y' all don't understand that market.

Yeah.

Rashi said, don't rate yourself. Be okay with improving yourself. I think it's important. I think it's important to understand.

That.

One of the things that I think is important is research says that from a physical perspective, you will. You will match with someone that's on your physical level. This is research from 1989, 1992 studies that has.

Kind of, you know, lived through the test of time, as they say.

And then you have an intellectual score. What I think is really important is understanding your emotional score, because there's a lot of, you know, there are a lot of very traditionally attractive women out there that are ugly. Emotionally, you might be a nine physically, but emotionally, you're a two.

Yeah.

Bestie said. Yes. It's on Facebook. Hooked on the look. Watch that show.

Yeah.

Taras said, do you rate the ladies in your coaching? I don't rate them, but I do want to make sure that the people that they're talking to are in the vicinity.

And I want to see. Do they go together? Can I see it?

Yeah. As someone who gets people into relationships every other day, I kind of have an eye for what I can see working and what I can see not working. This is another reason why it's like, because a lot of guys that are.

You know, classically or traditionally attractive.

They will want to use women that maybe aren't as, quote, unquote, pretty as they are. So part of that is understand. I just don't want my clients to be used.

Yeah. So.

That's why that. That's why we're. We focus on this a little bit.

Okay, let me see What y' all are talking about up here?

Paulini said, wish we had a version of you here in Australia. Thank you. Low key. Ari said, and why cancer? So I know his house is big.

Okay, what dating questions do we have? Ladies? Audrey said, how are your clients handling convos about politics? Men seem to be more conservative than ever. If they don't feel it, we cut them off.

We cut it off. What we're not going to do is, like dance around any of that or feel a little, little bit uncomfortable at all with any of these men.

No.

Not at all.

Yeah. Okay, let me see what time it is. Yeah, I think I'm going to go to bed. I'm tired. I got a TV production meeting tomorrow, so I got to figure it out.

Gotta look cute and pretty and I got some. I think I'm probably gonna have a meeting with my agents tomorrow as well.

Talking to some big agents in Hollywood, honey. Trying to get that together.

Someone said, oh, we getting this show. We're trying to. Honey, we're talking to some amazing production companies over the next couple of weeks. So.

I want to. I want to make sure that.

The TV show that I'm going to work on is going to be about helping black women find love.

You know, just like my book is going to be about. So please understand that this is a focus of mine. It always will be.

And I think that there are special and unique challenges for women of color, specifically black and brown women. And my hope is that this, what I share in these Q&As and on my podcast called the get yout Guy Coaching Podcast can help in that. I mean, here's the thing. I think 70% of the things that I think.