Dating Q and A 02-02-24

Jesus.

Hello, hello, hello.

Hello, hello, hello.

Let me get my.

IG together.

Hello, ladies. I hope you're doing well.

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

For those of you that don't know me, my name is Coach Anwar. I am a dating coach for smart and successful black and brown women.

I'm coming on here early because I'm trying to get to bed earlier, girl, I need my beauty sleep because she's struggling, girl, she's older. The eyes are starting to gain some Louis Vuitton bags, honey.

So I'm not going to be up till midnight and 1am talking about D with you, honey. Put keep it in your pants, sweetie. Yeah. Anyway, I am. I know y' all don't stay up with me on a Friday night, honey. Go get yourself a date and be out.

Yeah. Use this as motivation.

Anyway.

I am happy to be here. I'm gonna chat it up until I have to take my. My son to fencing. But other than that, doing well. Doing very well. So let me see. As many of you know, I come on here, I just answer some questions, give you a little tea to sip on. So just put your questions in the chat and I will answer them in the order that I see them. If there's anything that I say that resonates with you, definitely tap the screen like heart all of that. And check out the link in my bio if you want free trainings, if you want to work with me, if you want to get a. A link to my podcast, all of that. Alrighty. With that said, hello, everyone. Hello. Jatiri said, the way I flew here. I know that's right. Hello, ladies. Oh, my God. So many hellos. Hello, Latrice. Good to see you, girl. Andrea said, great day, coach. It is a great day.

Said you started a fire with the attractiveness scale content. I fear I'm here for it.

Is it really a fire, honey? Is it really a fire? Why is it a fire? Hey, bestie. Brandy. Good to see you, girl.

I gave ways in which to evaluate that. Yeah. Jazzy said hello. First time joining live. Welcome the other Latoya said, I ran in here. Happy Friday. Happy Friday to you as well. Millimes@ OMG. Hi. Can you recommend what styles to wear on a first date? Whatever makes you feel comfortable and safe and sexy. Yeah, that's going to be different for every woman. Some women are like dress girls and heels. Other women, you know, they're working on.

You know, cute, you know, jeans with a cute top. Yeah. Chrissy said, I've been missing the late night live so glad to see you earlier. I know. That's right. Thank you. Nicole Lynn said, oh, you have a son. Yes, I have a son and two daughters, honey. She's surveying Brady Bunch. Half a Brady Bunch bra. Bra Bunch.

Tamara said, how do we stress men out? You stress men out by having amazing boundaries and being vulnerable. Here's the thing, the thing that men are stressed out about is actually falling in love. So the way that you need to do this is actually make him fall in love with you by truly and deeply connecting with him by being emotionally safe, which means not being judgmental and being vulnerable so he feels like he needs to be vulnerable. That's how you will deeply connect with a man. But having boundaries along the way will help you because he's going to be stressed out. Trying to make sure that he is within your boundaries at all times. That that's the stress that you want.

Jordan said, hi, I'm getting my hair done and all the ladies are talking about you, Jordan. Girl, what are they saying? What are they saying? Why is everybody saying, hey, omg, I ran. Why are y' all running, honey? What have I done between this attractiveness scale rating and black men being the most dangerous men to date? Honey, I. Girl, it's. It's been a lot of. It's been a lot.

KRP said, hi, I love your videos. Hey. J said, hi from Germany. Hello. V Gates King, Kenny said, anwar, where do I find white affluent men who would date black women like moi? Well, let me see what you're giving. Girl, you're giving crazy. No, I'm just kidding. You want to find a white affluent man, he is probably no shade driving a Honda, Toyota or Ford pickup. 60% of millionaires actually, like, drive those cars. Someone said, do you speak French? German? Yeah, I speak German and five other languages.

So affluent men, the thing about it is that there's a difference between dating rich men and wealthy men. So the thing about wealthy men is that those guys will take their time. Rich men are busy because they're still actively working. Like the. Their work creates their dollar. Wealthy men are have time, freedom, and more passive income. So they're going to be at places that take a little bit of a longer time. So, you know, like really nice restaurants that take an hour, two hours to eat at. Right. Think about it like that. Country clubs, spas, those sorts of places. Yeah, obviously, travel conferences.

Like, when I say travel, I'm just not talking about at the airport at the specific lounges. Okay. KRP said, I love your personality. Thank you, girl.

Thank you so much. Let me see what y' all are talking about. Hey, D. Hi, Kaya. Kaya. Okay, let me see. Hey, Chrissy. Hey, Brooke.

Hi, sweet bud. Skull Chen. Jackie, Dallas, Nataline. Auntie OG Fatty said, should we stay on dating apps in February? Yes. It's going to be slower than the super bowl, but yes. Continue on it, girl. Continue on it.

Obi said. Hi, Amore. Any tips on dating in Los Angeles? It's tough out here. You definitely want a wide radius. Yeah.

Ms. Nikki said, Are you willing to go to our pages and help us figure out our attractiveness level? I haven't had a serious relationship in a long time. People are not understanding that. I literally gave you a formula. Look at all of your exes. Average them out. And that is probably your. Your attractiveness rating because the market tells you what you how attractive you are. So literally, you're gonna need to rate each of your exes that you've been in a full fledged relationship with, and that's probably where you're at. Black girl, White wine said you were my now ex best friend's dating coach. I took your advice from her sessions and now I'm married. Oh my God, girl. Congratulations. Ex best friend. That's a gag.

You'll have to DM me and let me know who that was. But congratulations on your engagement. Marriage.

Stina. Happy Friday, girl. Good to see you, Rosen. NY said you were on point. I definitely attracted more attractive men when I moved to D.C. from NY. Yeah, that's, that's, that's the tea girl. Okay. Timmy said, I'm a Turkish woman. Mirhaba Narcissen, I love your videos and advice. Thank you.

Okay. She said. I said you were my ex friend's dating coach. She never listened to you. I did. And now I'm engaged. When I tell people, like in my VIP programs, 80 to 85% of my clients will generally get their guy most of the time. For the women that don't get their guy, it's because they're not listening. Yeah. So I'm not surprised by that. But congratulations. Really happy for you.

Ambie said, I feel I miss most of your lives. Do you still post on YouTube? Yeah. All of these come on YouTube. Yeah.

In a day or two. Carlin said, considering a matchmaker. Just broke up with my boyfriend and hoping to continue with the same caliber. Matchmakers for black women are kind of like a no go. At least in my view. Most of them don't know how to match black women. Yeah.

So I don't know about that. No shade, but something to consider. Yeah, actually, Huffington Post reached out to me a couple days ago about an article about matchmaking. I also had an interview with ESSENCE on Tuesday and then I was supposed to have an interview with NBC News on Wednesday, but they postponed it. So a lot of people want to talk about Valentine's Day and other things.

Liz said, how do I know when someone is flirting with me? I'm clueless. Well, if they're talking to you and before they're talking to you, their feet are pointing towards you, it means that they like you. This is body language, like 101. And I want, I want to make sure that you guys are like on game for it. Okay.

Deborah said, should we get rid of all gray hair to attract men? No, girl, keep it, keep it, keep it, honey. Keep it. If you're 50 plus and you have gray hair, girl, stay on it. Because there are guys that are 50, 60 plus, there are a portion of guys that are into that age range. If you have that, you will stay with them. If you try to get the gray out, you will be in competition with the younger girls. You don't want that.

Sherry said, what kind of man should I look for at the age of 21? I feel very stuck. The kind of man that you need to be looking for at the age of 21 is your TA. Make sure you have A's, honey. Get that degree. I don't want you focusing on these relationships because your, the guy that you're going to be with at 21 is. I want you to think about it in the same way that you think about your first job in after college.

You won't know him in three to four years. Yeah.

Leilani said, I love you. Thank you, girl. Gold crowns. I love your videos. Thank you. Anno said, hey, from London. Hey, girl. Tiff said, I love your content. Thank you. Juju said, I love your content.

Janelle said, you really did something with that PI equation. Yes, honey, because, you know, I was an undergrad statistics major, so I think about things both qualitatively and quantitatively. My partner is already home. What time is it, y'? All? He's, he's, he's, he's gonna get me. I'm on live. I saw that on my phone. Okay.

Do you hear that, honey? When I go live, he gets a notification. He, he, he has his tabs on me. He wants to make sure I'm not doing anything freaky deaky on the Internet.

Yeah. Okay, let me see what's going on here.

User721. How are lawyers to date? Mergers and acquisitions, to be exact. Girl, you just have to stop debating. Like, stop doing all of that. Yeah.

Kennedy said, I go to a pwi. How do I get a white man to approach me? Don't. No, this is what you need to do. You need to study abroad, and you need to have, like, five boyfriends in the country that you study abroad in that will help you get fluent in the language. So you're going to help and get your resume in order. You're going to learn how to date, because most black girls are not taught how to date. So you're going to learn how to date. And so when you come back to America, you. You're going to be killing. Killing these. These fools, honey. And here's the thing. The boys that you study abroad with, they're going to be living for you. So it's going to uplevel your confidence. And you're not going to be. You're not going to have time for the lanes. You're not going to be. Have time for the people that are kind of like not giving you as much life as you actually need to.

Have.

C. Ross said, lmao. Wait, I got to hear more on. Stop debating. Hilarious. Honey. The lawyers, the way that they communicate is through interrogation. So when you're with a lawyer, you always feel like you are literally on the witness stand, you know, at the end of those SVU end those shows, and then they have the person on the stand and they. They have to confess. Girl, that's what it's like when you're with a lawyer. It's not.

Let me see what y' all are talking about.

Pati said, thanks for answering. Welcome, Latrice. Thank you so much for the hand hearts. Jordan said, my exes were all mid.

Girl. Here's the gap. Most people are between a three and a seven. I'm. I did that video. Not so that people feel like they're ugly, so that you understand, like, where you're at. Because the girls. Some of the girls are you. You might be a seven, girl, and you're going for a nine. And then you get upset because you don't know why. Dating is working for you, girl. You got to find a 7 and keep it moving. Right?

And this isn't me telling you to settle. I'm letting you know, literally, there are. There are. There's research around this Feingold 1988, Mathis 1992. Where you will, literally, long term, you won't match with your level.

I don't know what to tell the girls. Apparently I'm like, you know, part of the problem.

And that always the case.

Okay, sweet. But what about women who haven't had real relationships in their 20s? Then you got to go online and see who's who. Who's coming for you, right?

So let's say nothing but fours and fives come for you. You're probably a five or a six. Add one point to whoever's coming for you. Sabat said, not Anwar with the citations. Girl. I had to get. Girl, I had to. I have to defend my thesis for all these hoes. Girl. No shade. They think that I'm just some rando girl. They don't understand that. Like.

She reads. She's reading. She's literate, honey. She's not just talking out of the side of her neck. Yeah. Alyssa said I go to Spelman.

My sister went to Spelman. In the midst of all the hookup culture in college, what's the best way to navigate finding a partner? Here's the thing. It's always going to be a hookup culture in college because the gender ratio is off. So men have more power in college. It's like, you know, and especially if you are a black woman, that. That's going to be basically 2 to 1, unfortunately. So what does it mean to find a partner? It means start talking to people outside of college. It means don't take them too seriously and take that opportunity to learn about yourself. Girl. Right. Flirt, have fun. Here's what I tell the girls in college. When you're at a frat party or you're at any other party, girl. Never leave with a man.

Because it's such a tight knit community. Then the other guys will see that and never want to talk to you because they think, oh, she's probably with that guy. Never leave with them. Get somebody's number and then message them afterward. But never be seen leaving a location with a man. That will keep your stock high. You. Yeah.

Just a little bit of S sign. Girl.

Carlin said I'm on the league. And Raya can't seem to land a date. Get off of those. They're not checking for black girls there. No shade.

Oren Ishii.

I want this. I just swiped on a 57. Man. Good. He probably, you know what? If you add that five and that seven, it gives you 12, and that's how much he's probably packing. No shade. Girl. Get into it. Tired of this mess. I had to force one of my clients to swipe on a five. Seven. Do it. You're dating.

So about said we see you stats major. I'm trying, honey. I'm trying.

Okay, let me see what's going on.

I don't even know what this. All eyes on Lissa Said, I wish you were my dating coach, girl. Literally. Book a consultation call, and if we're a good fit, I. I can be.

What does it mean when a guy says, I want to try dating you? It means that he's not Nike. He's. He's Nike. Is. Just do it. That's what we're looking for. When he's trying, he's not just doing it. He's out. Hello, It's Yoda Said, though I'm grateful for the league for putting me onto Anwar. What the league put you on to me? In what way, girl? They better not be using my likeness. Honey, I will have to call my lawyer immediately. Honey, I will go into Karen, Karina.

Karisha, Karen.

Lowkey said, let me lose these last 30 pounds so I can be a 7. LOL. Emmett, maybe a 6. Girl, the 30 pounds is not. Is not. Is not doing it for you. Those girls on 600 pound life, they always have a man.

So it's not the £30. I just want to offer that. It's the confidence.

Yeah.

Sarah said, hello. Would you accept coach Latina clients? Yes. Well, that's why I say black and brown women. Most definitely.

My young sweet life said, how to not get dating app fatigue. Little bit each day. Some of y' all go hard in the paint for like a week or two, and then you get overwhelmed.

The other Latoya said, I'm just staying tuned to Anwar to learn until I'm ready to actively date. Thankful for the knowledge.

Hello, it's Yoda Said black and brown ladies talking about you saying you give the best advice. I'm trying, Michelle. Oh, one of my clients was saying, is that me? No, girl, no, girl. That's somebody else girl. Michelle messaging me on my live. Girl. No, girl. Oh, excuse me.

No, girl, that's not you. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Ranset.

Baby, have you ever had East Asian clients? Yes, I have about six of them now. Yeah.

So Mars said, listening to you is a reason I have a loving boyfriend. I love that for you. Chrissy Said, Amar is booked and busy. Love and am and am.

Yeah.

Unicorn Juice said. Yeah. Caught alive. Circuit 5 said, Binge your podcast. Awesome. Thank you. I have a podcast called the get your guy coaching podcast. Definitely check it out. It is a top relationship podcast in the US and also in some Other countries. And I'm going to be doing a new episode next Wednesday, all about calling in your man with one of my amazing colleagues. Her name is Veroni.

Love Catalyst. I love it. It's gonna be such a fun, fun episode.

Unicorn juice said, I met a redhead and he loves me. Thanks for the advice. You're welcome. Like I always say, if it's red, go.

Suggested. Jerosa said, I love your content. Love from London. Thank you.

JJ Said, I know that's right. Tabs. Yes, honey, my man has tabs on me.

Janelle said, what about therapists? Therapists actually have a very. And I'll do a video about this, about professions, but therapists have a very hard time actually taking up true space in a relationship because they always want to be like, the counselor. And so they actually will automatically give people more space in their relationship and then feel resentful because they don't feel heard, seen, or understood. Good.

Miami said, can we see him? My partner? No, girl, He. He's not. That's not. That's not how it goes. Here's the thing. When. The thing I want you all to realize is that the way to best partner is where you are the superstar, and then your partner is, you know, in a. In high school, where it's like they had, like, you know, every holiday, like a musical or a play, and there are, like, people on the stage and people in back of the stage. Your husband needs to be in the tech crew, and you need to be in the spotlight. That's how it works. And if a lot of y' all are trying to get with these highly charismatic guys that always want the spotlight, and when that happens, that means that you become the tech crew girl. Dressed an all black girl with those little microphones, girl. Walkie talkies, girl. It's not cute.

Let's see. Oh, my God. So much happening right now. Honey, I'm trying to go as fast as I can.

Gosh. Let me see.

What's the name of my podcast again? It's called the get your guy coaching podcast.

Okay. Char says, what does it mean if a guy texts you for five or six straight days and doesn't for three days? I blocked him. Doesn't matter what it means. Y' all are really trying to focus on the why, right? It doesn't matter why guys do things. It matters what they do. So focus on the what and not the why. He didn't. He disappeared. Your future husband's not going to disappear. That's just it.

Bucket said, thoughts on getting hit on in front of a guy you're newly dating. Perfect. You want that to happen. You want him to know that you just you not just focused on him, that you you got some value in the market and that he needs to be on his A game and if he's not, someone's going to snatch you up. The men that are about about it are going to level up. The men that are intimidated and are just half effort, they're going to be intimidated and then leave. So that's one of the best things that you can do or that can happen.

Deidre Alexander how do I book a consultation? Girl Go to the link in my bio. Ali Reeve do you accept white clients? Girl.

It depends. Girl Let me see your profile picture. Girl Only if it's all blacked out. 2020 realness.

I do, but you have to understand that the work is centered around black and brown individuals. Right? But the funny thing is that some of the white girls have very similar lived experiences. Not all. Some.

Jenny said, you light skin girl if I'm light skin.

Yeah, Someone said that to me when I did a post about light skinned men. Again, more hate.

But no, I think I'm medium.

I'm glad that some of you are opening up your height range.

Shar said, where are you located? Fairy God Brother I'm located in Montreal, Canada and I've just become a citizen so.

That'S that on that. Keesh thank you so much for the heart me. Nikki Miller thank you so much for the rose.

Xander said, can I sing for you? No.

I'm married with children. I don't let men sing to me. Tatiana said, I'm going out with a white man for the first time tonight. I'm being open minded like you said. Great white boy winter check.

Jessica said, do white men like plus size black women? Well girl, I don't know. I'm not a white man and I'm also not a plus sized black woman. But here's what I know. I know that if you know that you're a queen, then any man's going to be with you and want you.

Let me see what else is going on up in here.

It's therapy for Victoria said, the way you just read me, I've been working on taking up more space as a therapist and leaving my therapy hat in the virtual room. Girl that's right.

Let me see what's going on here.

Nina said, will my dating pool be small as a black dermatologist? I don't know. I hope not.

Sabat said, have a date with A short king tomorrow thanks to your advice. Have. Have fun honey. Have fun honey.

Sarah said, Shara says pretend you don't want a relationship even when you do. Do you agree? No. But I do think it's important not to put your stock in men before day three physical Day three.

Tropical storm said Today is seven months for me with my baby from Coffee Meets Bagel naming my first son Anwar. I hope you name your first daughter Anwar too. No shade girl.

Miss A said where can we find your podcast on what platform it should be on Spotify and Apple and Iheart and Stitcher. It's called the getyourguy coaching podcast. J.

You'Ve been dropping Jules Coach A definitely making me level up in 2024. Hi. How are you?

What's going on?

They're what? Cuz I've already been very clear with them about what they can and cannot have so I hope it doesn't go against what I've said. Did you say between 4:30 and 5? Yes. It's 5:00 clock now so they've missed their opportunity. I was very clear about what they can do. Girl boundaries screen time. We're not going to be on the screen all day every day.

Active parent.

Hey that's why get you a partner that you can tag team with the kids girl. Because the kids will come for you girl but you need to be able to tag team.

You know what I mean?

And they will try to test you too honey. You see I gave them a specific time period. 4:30 to 5 girl why are they coming at 501.

Honey use it. Use this girl.

Lillian of the Valley said and we're going into mama bear mode. I know that's right.

Adipal said not miss the opportunity. Kimberly Rose said he's strict girl boundaries everywhere relationship. All relationships need your boundaries. Right? Hazel said Coach A keeps a nasty designer jacket or sweater on.

You know what girl? I just try to keep it cute and mute.

Bacon said you know French? I do. Tatiana said and where? I said not on my watch.

I speak many languages. Santa Capri said do you help UK girlies?

I do.

Rusy said he getting them kids together huh honey? And when he does it in French girl is that's the gag girl that's when it starts to intimidate me. And you know what intimidation does to me.

Opens those legs right up girl.

Don't call it a comeback. I've been here for years.

Someone said oui oui honey. Yes honey. The kids tried run game honey but you know what? Half of me feels like very like how dare them. But then half of me as someone who also has game, girls like game recognizes game. Get what you can get everything that you can and then more. You know, it's weird being a parent, girl. You know, it's this the dichotomy. Girl.

Shakina said, women, you have to push. That's right, honey. That's right.

Daphne speaks that I am hollering why, girl?

I want my kids to push. Honey.

The girls are gagging. Why? Cuz what intimidation does to me, honey. Lillian of the Valley said, me too, girl.

Honey, pardon that Pardon. Pardon that c. Honey, pardon that sea.

All right, pal said this is the best why I love. She said, I can't with you. Why not? Honey, we're all grown women in here and we all have needs.

Some of us more than others.

Marissa said, amy, you should start rating us on lives. I'm not rating women. I gave you all a formula to rate yourselves, right? So that's not. That's not my ministry. If you want a rating, talk to some random dude. They. You won't even have to ask them. They'll rate you without the ask.

So she said, he is following 2500 people on Instagram. Is he the one? Is one of those people? Jesus Christ, my Lord and savior?

If not, then doesn't matter who he's following.

Yeah.

The other Latoya said, I also love it when a good man takes charge. Parts the sea, honey. Sure does. Sure does, honey. Parts that. See, honey? And I got Noah's ark for him right here. Honey, they coming in two by two. I know that's right and wrong at the same time. Unicorn juice it the way I just yelled.

Oh, my gosh.

Adrienne said, well, if I rate myself, I'm going to round up. Do it, girl. That's what we learn in second grade math, honey.