Dating Q and A 02-20-24

Sipping champagne.

Hello, hello, hello.

Hello, hello, hello, everyone. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Hello, hello, hello.

It's good to see everyone. I hope everyone's doing well.

Hello, hello, hello, my loves. Hope you all are doing well. What's the tea? What's the Tuesday tea tonight? Honey, give me. I want to hear some mess.

So give me some mess. Honey, where's the mess?

I want to hear some mess. Give me some messy tea about some boys. Girl.

I want to know. I want to know what these boys are doing, honey. And if you've been messy, I want to hear about it tonight. You hear me?

Risa Tisa is all the mess. No, girl, I'm tired of hearing that name. I want to hear about your mess. Okay, okay. I'm getting some mess. I'm getting some mess. Someone said on ig, I have a huge crush on my chiropractor. I know that's right, girl. So what are you gonna do about it? That's the question. What are you gonna do about it? Crack Snapple, you know, Pop, honey, what are you gonna do about it? I want to know the mess. I want to know what. How messy y' all are getting. Honey.

What'S the tea?

Someone said, please read my email. Oh, girl, I don't read emails. Girl, I don't read emails. Unfortunately, I don't read dms. I don't.

Cookie cake said, lmafo keep profess. Don't keep it professional for now, girl, don't come up here talking about you have a crush on your chiropractor and then say, oh, no, I'm not going to do anything about it. That's not what we do here. That's not what we do here. Yeah. All right. So for those of you that don't know me, my name is Coach Anwar. Anwar White. I am a dating coach for black and brown women. And I am here to, you know, help you level up your love life. So in the chat, you can, you know, we're going to talk about love, relationships, men or women, dating. Put your questions in.

The chat and I will answer them in the order that I see them. Okay?

And if I say something that.

Dulce said, no DMs or emails, and you ain't send Amar no coin. I know the girls just say, oh, can you just. Can you give me some coaching on this? And I'm like, girl, you're not my client. I have so many clients right now. This is why I, like, literally go ahead and, like, do these lives and have the podcast so that I can, you know, help the Girls right in the way that is helpful for you. Barbells and stiletto said, go ahead and book that consultation call. I signed up last Thursday, and I've already had huge change in myself as well as in my love life. Yes, girl, Love that.

Yeah. Okay, let me see what y' all are talking about. All right. I'm getting a lot of haze, no shade, honey. I'm not. I'm not gonna skip the haze, but I'm gonna say one big hey to everyone who said hey. Yeah. Hope y' all are doing well. What's the tea? And if I say anything that you are living for or that you're gagging on, like, tap, double tap, triple tap the screen, honey, we're gonna run the likes up, girl. And that's just what the tea is going to be about. Yeah. Monica said, so nice to see you. Thank you, girl. Thank you. Like I was saying before, I want to know. I want to know mess. I want to know what y' all are getting into, because 2024 is about the plot. You got to do it for the plot, honey. No shade. But some of our love lives are getting real boring, so we're gonna have to liven it up, honey. You hear me?

In my element. Blue said, love your dating advice. Thank you, girl. Medusa said, got a first date tomorrow for Boba, but he left me on scene all day today. Girl, let him, let him, let him. He'll. He'll come back to you. Black and tie said, yay, Fairy Anwar. I know that's right, girl, but don't call me fairy animal again. Feels homophobic to me.

Ellis said, these men are broke. They are, but it's also because we're living in a recession. It's a quiet recession, but it's a recession nonetheless, honey. So the gag is that these guys are not going to be taking you out as much as they used to or were before. Right? So a lot of men. And this is why I'm telling all of my girls that we going to go outside because these men will play with you in the apps and want to kick it and hang out on the apps and text for weeks on end and not take you out. So. But we, the ladies in my program, we got a job to do. Yeah. The people's doc said, Christian men trying to hit after the purity conference. I know none of those Christian men are pure. No shade, girl. They're the worst of the words and they. Girl. And the veil is the Bible.

Horn dogs. Sigma said, I want to book a session. Well, girl, if you want to book a consultation call, go to the link in my bio and book it. But let me tell you, that is for women that want to work professionally with me. I'm not going to kiki with you. My boundaries are very tight when it comes to that. If I talk to everybody, I would have 50 consultations a day. And I love y' all to death, but I don't have the time. I got my clients, I got my family, girl. I got three kids. And I know with this body, you would never think it, honey. She snapped back, but, honey, I got kids, honey. I got half a Brady Bunch up in here. Yeah. So she has things to do. Don't play with me in my time, girl. If you want a Kiki, come in here, talk your shit here, girl. Or what we're not gonna do is book a consultation so that you're gonna talk to me and then not even have any interest in working with me. Just using me, girl. Used and abused, honey.

Yeah.

What is going on with my phone? It's freaking out.

Okay, thank you all so much for the 10,000 likes already. Y' all are already doing the damn thing, Honey. TikTok still has me in jail, girl. Even if my last video got, like almost 300,000 views. Please understand that, like, my average is a much more than that. Like, I only have like 500 people here on the live. Usually that's like 1100, 1200. So please understand I'm still in jail, honey. Give us us free.

Hannah. Yeah, Said, love your podcast. Thank you, girl. I appreciate that. Bellatrix, that you still a black creator, girl. Don't make me put on my. Don't.

Put on a different face, girl.

Let me see what you girls are talking about. Healer Said, I'm ready to date women. Forget the men. I've been holding back. No shade, girl. You might have to do it. And you know why? And quiet as it's kept grow. We're all family here. Some of us have had our lezzy moments, honey. We've. We've gone into it, honey, and that's okay. Do what you must. Girls got to eat. Jada. Ken said, what do you think about guys that go out a lot?

What is going on here?

I think that they're promoters and they're promoting themselves.

Men that are ready to marry don't go out a lot. They don't. They're at home working on their side business. They're at home working on the homes that they've just purchased and doing the work by themselves. They don't go Out a lot.

That's what I think about it. Little pretty Lulu said, I got you guy on Bumble decided he no longer wanted to chat or meet because I didn't respond on B day. Okay, that's a little bit of mess. I want real mess, girl. Yeah. Nicole said, how can I date as a single mom? My baby always comes first. That's the shade. The shade is you gotta come first. So you need to start doing that and filling into your cup first so that you can give to other people. As someone who is also a parent and who's been there oftentimes as parents, we can lose our entire identity. Right now it sounds like you wearing that mom hat and you got to take that mom hat off and also put that woman hat on on occasion.

Yeah.

Chrissy said, as soon as I started watching Tuke and play that game, you started a lab. Girl the. The Lord works in mysterious ways. Girl. Girl she's putting you on game girl and I am too. Girl girl me and Vivica girl we trying to help you out, sweetie.

Lips lips emoji said, we appreciate you. Thank you girl so he said, what are your rates if you book a consultation call? I have all of the like courses and programs and all of like the different, the there's like different payment plans, different prices. The other thing is like.

When you, if you do the consultation call, that's why I say if you're ready. Great. Because after that I like on the call, I give a fast action discount. If you're not able to like purchase the program in those couple of days, price goes up to the regular price, which is 1 to $3,000 more. So please, if you book a call, be ready. Honey.

Someone'S asking about Ghanaian men.

Girl.

Well, here's what I will say this. They not as bad as the Nigerians. No shade girl.

Purple curl said, what do you think about the league? Girl I think the league those guys aren't really checking for you. It's not a place that I recommend like it. I rated apps last year. I think it was on my no grade list. That's how bad it was, you know. Well, maybe you weren't that girl but for the girls that were real messy first semester, fall semester, freshman year and you were out in the frats and the parties too much and maybe it was that one class that was at 8am that you never got to that you got a lower grade on and maybe you got a no grade that you had to go pass, no pass, pass, fail on. Yeah girl that's the lead girl. It's a failure. Yeah.

Meg said, what's your opinion on being friends with an ex?

Well, it depends on why he's an ex. The same reason why he's an ex is probably the same reason why you don't want to be friends with him. You know what I mean, jelly bean?

Okay. Mikhail said, my man has two kids. My parents may not like that. What should I do? I'm 28. He's 32. Well, I don't care what your parents think. And the fact that you're saying that lets me know that we might be dating for other people and not ourselves. Is he a good father? That's the question. 32 with two kids. It's not crazy. Now, if you tell me he's 32 with two kids and three babies, mamas, then that's crazy, girl.

You know what I mean? Like, come on, now. I don't care about your parents. I care about what you think and how he treats you. Yeah.

What is really going on here, Girl?

Why is everyone asking me about Risa? Tessa Ressa. Tessa? Girl, I'm not. I don't care about that. I'm not interested.

And that's no Shade. It's just like, she's had an experience that many people have had. Right? I literally go through that each and every day. I feel bad for her, I'm sorry for her. I hope she's learned from that experience. But, girl, no, Shade, I want you to focus on yourself.

You listen to her. Her love life. Girl, get your own love life.

Yeah. Luna. Sky said, hi, from Oxnard. Hey, girl. You know, I'm from Oxnard, too, girl. Ventura county represents Southern Cal. So that's. That's the takeaway. That's what I think about that viral thing. Get your own love life. So you're not so invested in that one.

Cammie said, am I happily married to a white man living a soft life? Yes. Do I still watch your videos? Yes. I know that's right, girl. I know that's right, girl.

Kevin said, what differences do you see in young people in their late 20s and early 30s dating? The differences between late 20s and early 30s. Well, here's the thing. Men will have their second puberty between the ages of 30 and 33. This is where they have a little bit of a biological clock. This is where they will gain another 10 to 15 pounds. This is where their testosterone will start to decrease a little bit. And the thing is, when testosterone decreases a little bit, this is where men are going to be more apt to Fall in love. So this is why I don't really have clients that are younger than 26, because the men are going to be wildly unserious. It's like educated guys are not going to be ready to settle down until the age of 32. And that's been backed by research. Now, if he's uneducated, he'll be ready to marry by 26. Yeah. So that's why, like, that's why I work with who I work with. So late, late 20s. I think we're still in, like, training Day. As Denzel Washington would say, early 30s. That's when we start to get serious.

Max said, thoughts on the Match Match Group lawsuit? I think that I'm glad that it's coming about. I think that they've overstepped, especially with hinge. I think hinge has been very unethical. And from what I hear, they are rolling that back. Yeah. So I'm happy about that.

Okay. Annette said, I have a crush on my professor. Okay. This is some mess that I want to hear. I want to hear about this kind of mess. Did anyone ever have a. A crush on their professor? And if so, did you do anything about it to get that a. No. Shade. Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding. Okay.

Adora Dairy said, I need a plot. Girl, you gotta make your own plot. Literally. Tonight I was talking and teaching my clients how to get into their main character energy so that you get a plot.

Yeah.

Hannah. Yes. Said I'm the wrong girl to tell to do it for the plot. Why, girl? Why, girl? We want to know.

Cat24k said, AM are coffee dates okay? They're great. They're great. I love them. You better get into them, honey. Especially if you want someone that's a little bit more solid, meaning.

More stable. A lot of the wealthier and rich guys will.

Do a coffee date first because they're not going to really lean in and, like, invest in you until they know that there's going to be a great return. So you want to lean into the coffee dates.

Okay. Cookie said, Bessie, what's the tea? On approaching my chiropractor. I'm begging, girl. So you're gonna have to do okay. When he's working on you. Don't give. Don't do anything while the work is happening. Your tea is before or afterward. But also, you gotta check this. Yeah. Sometimes because he's working, it'll be like this. But you gotta check to see if there's a. Do you see there's like a little white ring because I keep my rings on because I'm faithful. Right? You'll generally see this with the married guy. Sometimes the girls are like, oh, he doesn't have a ring on, but girl, does he have the ring tan? Does he have the ring tan? I have a little bit of a ring tan, right? Do you see? It goes a little bit inner, too. It goes in right here because of the ring, honey. Because my husband has me in a chokehold, honey. In this marriage, honey, girl.

And I love it.

But you want to talk. You want to check for that first and foremost, girl, because what we're not going to do is break up. Happy homes. Number two, we want to talk to him before or after the session.

Okay.

Your mom said, is a gym crush a bad move? No, girl, not at all. Not at all, girl. But you just got to make sure that he's able to. Depends, girl. How much is he able to lift now? If he's doing those 15 pounders, girl, that's a bad move, girl. If he's giving you hundred, 150, girl, that's a good move, girl. You want to make sure that he can pick you up.

Vanessa says, Anwar, since you mentioned looking at a man's nose and thumbs, I've been checking. As you should. Girls gotta eat. And you know all that tea. So I'm happy about that for you, girl.

With more knowledge comes more power. Harmony said, I quit my job and he asked me out to dinner right after. He's been amazing. Good, girl. I love that for you.

I don't even know how to pronounce his name. Oh.

Lloyd Alien, you're so smart. I could listen to you talk all day. Thank you, girl. I appreciate that. And thank you all so much for the 27,000 likes up in here.

N comedy said, what dating app is best for Black women in 2024? Like I told. Like I did in my last video. Check that out. Honey, I'm. We're not doing. We're not doing apps for the first six months of this year. We're not leaning into those. At least that's my recommendation.

Yeah.

Sandy said got a first date this weekend. The man invited me to a nice place. Met him on Bumble. Good girl. Have fun. Report back, girl. We're. We're nosy.

Ayan said, it's hard dating in Seattle. As a black woman, every guy wants to date a white or Asian girl. Any advice? I just had a client get with a black engineer in Seattle. Girl. Keep on rocking it out, girl. You'd be surprised. You'd be surprised.

Consistency is key, and you're gonna need to be consistent for six straight months to find your guy. There can't be any starting or stopping. That has been my experience with the Seattle market. Yeah.

Stay at home. Widow said, Anwar, hi. I love you. Sending love to you too.

Timmy said, please talk about insecure men and how they won't be happy for you if it doesn't involve them. Girl, apparently you just told all the tea. I don't have anything else to say.

Insecure men won't be happy for you if it doesn't involve them. That's it. That's the story. Influenced style Said, did you watch Love is Flying? We need your thoughts. I started watching it with my partner. You know, he's into it more than I am now, girl. Because, you know, girl, it's a gag. It's a gag. It's so messy.

My thoughts. I'm not all the way caught up. Give me like another week, girl. Yeah, give me like two weeks because I'm going to a client's wedding this weekend. I'm in the rehearsal dinner on Friday, and then the. The wedding's happening on Saturday, so I'm going to New Orleans this weekend. So I'm going to be out of pocket for a little bit.

Jaleesa said, double tap the live girl. Double triple tap, girl. Get your carpal tunnel on, honey.

SG said, two months in and I have a weird gut feeling, even though he reassures me. What do you think is going to happen? What's the gut feeling? Girl? Because we can't ignore our gut.

Dee Dee said, what's the tea with men with their midlife? You mean their crisis? Girl well, the gag is before.

Well, first of all, you have to understand that a midlife for a man is 35 years old because men are dying at 70.

Especially if they're men of color, girl. So please understand that, like, midlife is 30, 35. 35 to 45, girl. Yeah, girl. What happens is they realize I haven't done with my life and I have no legacy. And.

So there's huge disappointment and depression. And so for like six months, they're gonna act a fool to, you know, pretend like they're living and then they're gonna get back to business. A lot of these guys are, like, not as serious as you may think.

So, like, that's why, like, girl, if you're in your older 30s, so sometimes you might have to give these 32, 33 year olds a chance. Honey, don't act brand new. You hear me? If he's coming. Correct. Girl, don't. Sometimes these girls are like, oh, my God, he's like a little boy. Like, it's like a little brother. No, girl, that man is 32, 33. And if he's stable and if he's doing everything that he needs to do, that's the only thing that matters. Because, girl, you're gagging. But here's the tea, girl.

When you're 65 and he's 60, you're a retired girl and he's still working.

As you grow older, that age difference doesn't matter. Now. It mattered a lot when you were 10 and he was 5, but, girl, it's not going to matter as much anymore.

Fairy Charm said, advice on Japanese men. I'm in Japan right now, and much older men keep approaching me. Girl. Let them grow, girl. They. The Japanese men are freaks, okay? These are the freakiest guys. And let me know in the chat if this has been your experience and if you haven't experienced men, girl.

Live vicariously through the girls that are telling you all the tea, including me. Japanese men. Kinks. Kinksters. Like Kinker. McKinker. Yeah. Germans. Kinks. Basically. Anyone that was on, like, you know, anyone that was, like, on that side of the World War.

The Germans, the Italians, the Japanese, girl. Kinky. I don't know. Maybe something happened to the world, girl. I don't know. But all kinky, girl. All kinky all the time.

Yes. Ap history. Yes. Ap history.

Yes. Honey. Yes. God.

That's the tea, honey. That's the tea. I don't know what to tell you. I've lived it, honey. I know it. I've kinked it, girl.

Thought I wouldn't get. Get out of it alive, girl. But I did. By the grace of God.

Girl. I almost. I almost. I almost had to vogue it, girl. Girl, I almost had to vogue my cross, girl.

Oh, Lord. Chris Doug said, where are we going? Anwar A fan in the Bible Belt. Oh, girl.

Okay, so she's a. She's a Christian lady. Yeah. Where are we going? We are going. We're volunteering. If you want a Christian man, don't go to the church. The guys that go to the church are. Most of them are married, right? And so the guys that are not married are generally older and they're older and single for a reason. And it's not because they're widowed. It's because they're crazy and narcissistic. So we're not meeting men in the church. We are Going to be volunteering.

Yeah, that's where you're going to meet those, those real Christian men that are giving Jesus vibes.

Not TD Jake's vibes.

Okay, okay. I'm. Girl, I'm off my soapbox, girl. I'm off my soapbox.

Diana said, how to see.

Get an emotionally blocked man. I don't know what you're asking. Ms. Kyra, thank you so much for the teen bracelet. Girl.

Kiss Emoji said, they missed the ring tan. They too busy looking at the thumb, girl. You got to look at the thumb and you got to look at that ring finger, girl.

Finger, girl.

Ladybug said, what's the tea on South Asian men? Girl. The tea, the tea is not a teacup, girl. It's an ex. It's an espresso cup.

That's, that's that on that honey. That's the tea on them. Julie said, I love your advice. It's so uplifting, girl. I try, girl. And we get to have fun while we're doing this. Girl. Sometimes it's so serious and there's all this back and forth and it's like, oh my God, I'm so over it. Sometimes I be over my own, girl. No shade.

No, I. No girl. No girl. In all seriousness, you know, I think that this work has to be uplifting. It has to be fun. It has to be.

We get, we need to learn, right? So many of us actually don't know as much as we need to. You got to be prepared, right? So for example, if some Indian guy comes to you, you got to know, like, is he packing? Is he not? Is he a mama's boy? Is he not? Is his family going to accept you? Are they not? 80% of the time they're not. No shade. Yeah. So you got to know that so that you can navigate this well and like not be surprised by all of the things that might come up. Because there are things that will come.

Vanessa said, dating as a plus size, no lipo girl. No cosmetic surgery, girl. Well.

I guess that's an accomplishment. I guess a lot of girls are getting the lipo these days and the cosmetic surgery, which is totally fine.

I always say that you gotta love the people that are loving you.

And so you know, and you already know that, that there are certain guys that will come for you, Right?

I often say a lot of times the guys that are bigger, like curvier, plus size guys are often the most toxic for plus sized girls. The other thing that you want to be aware of is any of the guys that say anything about your body. This is different for a plus size girl than some other girl because he might say, oh, you know, you're so beautiful. I love, you know, you know, I love how curvy you are in that dress. But for you it's different, right? And I'm not. That's. This is no shade. I'm not coming for you. The experience is that they will think that they have potentially more ownership of your body because it is curvier, but they don't. So that's why our boundaries have to be in place, honey. In place.

Adora Dairy said, I love Anwar's comeback. Shade girl. Snow Shade girl. Doesn't it work when you. If you say no shade at the end, it means no shade, even if it is maybe a little shady.

That's how I. That's how I do it. So when you hear no shade girl, it's like, you know, Opposite day.

504 said, Rotational dating. Yes or no? Yes, girl. I call it Olympic dating, gold medalist silver medalist, bronze medalist. You gotta have them both. That podium needs to be full, honey.

Sam said, thoughts on men who test your integrity? How are men testing your integrity?

That's what I want to know.

Mariah said, salt Lake City dating game advice. Well, it depends. Are you Mormon or not, girl?

Because the answer is vastly different, depending on what you're serving, who you're serving.

Tiffany said, how do I approach Mississippi guys that are not black? I'm a black woman ready for vanilla.

Girl, you gotta. You gotta give them that green light, girl. You gotta talk to them. Now, I got family in Mississippi. And one of the things that I know is that segregation is real. Girl. Is giving separate but equal in that state. You're gonna have to cross the color lines, honey. You're gonna have to be the ruby bridges of your love life.

And you're gonna have to talk to these white men.

Girl. You're gonna have to get your books just like our girl Ruby girl.

Just like this girl. And to these white men.

Girl, you're gonna have to get your books just like our girl Ruby girl.

Just like this girl. And you're gonna have to walk over to those white men, honey, and you're gonna have to have a con.

Lord Jesus, have mercy in heaven. Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Yes. Harmony during Black History Month. Yes, that. You said you came in here for love advice, and I'm also giving you black history. Don't ever say I didn't do anything for you.

You hear me?

Oh, Lord.

Yes, honey, you're welcome. Because guess what, girl, the schools are not teaching black history, girl. So somebody's got to do it. And that somebody is.

Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. Honey, y' all need to pray for me, honey, because you know what? I. I feel myself. They're trying to pull me down to hell, girl. They're trying to pull me down, girl. They trying to pull me down, girl. Keep me, girl. Keep me up here, girl. Keep me up here, girl. Keep me going to heaven, girl.

Yeah.

Yes, honey. I need Jesus and much more. Yes. Thoughts and prayers, girl. Thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers, girl.

Amen. Amen. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Someone said I need a nap. I need more than a nap, girl. I need something, girl. Oh, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby. But that's what you're gonna have to do, girl. That's what you're gonna have to do in Mississippi, girl.

Chelsea said we're not going with you. Yeah, girl, stay here.

Michelle said, by the way, Ruby Bridges is only 60. She probably watching this live. Thank you, Ruby. Thank you, Ruby. Girl, your inspiration lives with us today.

Oh, man.

Larissa Amworth is on one tonight. I love it.

Girl. I just, you know, we get to have fun. You know? My phrase for 2024, and I don't know if you guys have phrases for each year is make it fun. Yeah. It's like, life is so serious and can really bring you down. And, like, girl, we gotta make it fun, so that's what we gonna do, honey.

Mia said, I don't watch lives, but I'm staying.

I know that's right, girl. I know that's right.

Green Tea Curry said, your laugh is everything. Thank you, girl. I. I got best laugh in high school. And I was also most athletic, surprisingly enough. Y' all don't know this because I'm cute on in my seat, honey, but I'm actually, like, 6, 2, 6 3, and I was like, captain of my varsity team and captain of my tennis team of a big old jock. That's why I know so much about the boys, girl. Because I've been like, listen in on those conversations in the locker room. I know how they think, you know? Yes, honey. Ashlyn said, that's why I love your lives, because I'm a mess, and you get to see someone deteriorating before your very eyes, girl.

Oh, my God. What about Indian men? Like I said before, Indian men actually really like black women and no shade. But, like, a lot of the Indian women are actually darker than black women.

The thing is that the families won't. Oftentimes won't fully accept you. And the other thing that you have to understand is that Indian men are actually quite spoiled. Their mothers do everything for them. And so you have to, like, when you're engaging with them, you have to. If they're asking you to do all of this stuff, please understand. He just wants a mother replacement. He doesn't really want a wife. So you have to be really cognizant in the locker room and know how they think, you know? Yes, honey. Ashlyn said, that's why I love your lives, because I'm a mess, and you get to see someone deteriorating before your very eyes, Girl.

Oh, my God. What about Indian men? At that. Yeah.

Simply Kristen said, I'm in Louisiana, let's meet for drinks, girl, we just might have to. Girl, you got to let me know what the tea is, girl.

Meow. Thank you so much for the 12 roses.

Chelsea said, thank you for the rose, Ruby.

Yes, honey.

Miss Lily Queen. And you keep it so real, girl, you got to, you got to. Okay. I keep on losing my place because y' all are, like I said before, Indian men actually really like black women and no shade. But, like, a lot of the Indian women are actually darker than black women.

The thing is that the families won't. Oftentimes won't fully accept you. And the other thing that you have to understand is that Indian men are actually quite spoiled. Their mothers do everything for them. And so you have a lot to say tonight, just like I do.

Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, let me see. Kun Me said, why is dating NYC so difficult? Well, there are a lot of people in New York City. Yeah.

I don't think it's difficult. I just think it takes a little bit of time to sift through. Right. And so it just requires a bit of consistency. But the. The gag is that we have to, like, when you're engaging with them, you have to. If they're asking you to do all of this stuff, please understand. He just wants a mother replacement. He doesn't really want a wife. So you have to be really cognizant of that. Yeah.

Simply Kristen said, I'm in Louisiana. Let's meet for drinks. Girl, we just might have to. Girl, you got to let me have a strategy, ladies, if we want to date. Well, many of us don't have a strategy, so we're kind of, like, flailing.

While we're dating, and that's not cute. It's like going into the deep end and you don't really know how to swim that well. No shade. And some of us still don't know how to swim that well. But we keep on telling people that we do know how to swim. When you know that you don't. Don't do that in your dating life.

You got to learn how to swim. You got to learn techniques, you got to learn how to do it right. I have a. I have a course called the dating strategy starter. Know what the tea is, girl.

Course. Check that out. If you want to learn how to date. If you want coaching, deeper meow. Thank you so much for the 12 roses.

Chelsea said, thank you for the rose Ruby.

Coaching. Like going into those inner child wounds and healing and things like that. Definitely book a call. I have like a group course called a group program called the get your guy club. If you're someone who needs a bit more or wants or prefers more personalized attention, I have a VIP program as well. Yeah. Kyla said, hers is live laugh, love. Oh, girl.

I think we got to get more creative than that, girl. Come on now.

Okay. Bellatrix said, mine is. If he wanted to, he would.

Yes, honey.

Miss Lele queen in you keep it so real, girl. You got to. You got to. Okay. I keep on losing my place because y' all are. I know that's right. I know that's right, girl. Kayla said, like the live. Let's get to 100k. Oh, we'll get there, girl. Y' all already have 50. Have a lot to say tonight just like I do.

Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, let me see. Kun me said, why is dating NYC so difficult? Well, there are a lot of people in New York City. 7,000. Thank you so much. I love it.

I love that so much. Thank you so much for the love.

Love. Sjsb P. He said, I love your content advice. Thank you so much. Why are men asking for your numbers and not texting? Because it's a game for them, honey. That's why. Like, I don't want you taking these men seriously when they're asking for your number, especially when it's offline and it's.

It's like at a gas station or a Walmart. Girl, don't even talk to those guys, okay? Cuz for them it's a challenge. They want to know how many numbers that they can get so that they can tell their boys. Oh, yeah, I'm talking to like seven girls right now. They're on my job. Blah, blah, Blah, blah, blah.

No, girl, don't do that.

Yeah.

I don't think it's difficult. I just think it takes a little bit of time to sift through. Right. And so it just requires a bit of consistency. But the, the gag is that we have to have a strategy, ladies, if we want to date. Well, many of us don't have a strategy, so we're.

The people's dog. What is the most common dating mistake you see with female physicians in their late 30s? Girl, that's a very specific question. Yeah. Here's what I know. I work with a lot of doctors and I think that what they do.

What has worked for them, like.

They will approach their love life in the same way that they approached medical school. Right.

All here.

Not much here. That's not me coming for you, girl. It means I'm just like memorizing things. Okay. I do kind of like flailing.

While we're dating. And that's not cute. It's like going into the deep end and you don't really know how to swim that well. No shade. And this, I do that, I do this, I do that. And it actually prevents you from being in the present moment and actually checking in with yourself and figuring out how you feel. And this is for doctors, but this can also be for. Us still don't know how to swim that well. But we keep on telling people that we do know how to swim. When you know that you don't, don't do that in your dating life.

Just women. Women of color in general. Right. So that's what I would say to that.

Yeah. Okay. Coffee said, I wonder what happened with the finger eating date. So if you're in here, girl, the girl. Okay, so this one girl last week said that she would learn how to swim. You got to learn techniques, you got to learn how to do it right. I have a, I have a course called the dating strategy. Starter went on a date with a guy and the guy put her whole finger in his mouth. And so she said she was going out with him again. And we were kind of like, oh, girl, we don't know about that one. But I think she went on the date, girl. So if you're here, girl, spill the truth, girl. Spill that tea, girl. Because we are obvious course. Check that out. If you want to learn how to date. If you want coaching, deep, purposely, very invested. Yeah, girl, these men are wild. Honey, if he wanted a hot dog, he should have just ordered it from the menu.

Coaching, like going into those inner child wounds and healing and things like that.

Oh my gosh. See y' all get me started, honey. That's what happens, honey. Definitely book a call. I have like a group course called a group program called the get your guy club. If you're someone who needs a bit more or wants or prefers more personalized. That girl got me started with the king squirrel. That's what happened. Yeah, Bellatrix said okay. Jennifer Holiday she said she's staying attention of a VIP program as well. Yeah, Kyla said her no that's right.

Chris understood. Said go ahead and wire.

Latoya said wild horses couldn't drag me away from this live. I know that's right, girl. Me too. Okay.

One eye emoji says have a crush on this Korean gamer nerd guy from school. I don't. Hers is live laugh love. Oh, girl.

I think we gotta have any experience and I'm plus size tips. Well first of all gamer get more creative than that girl. Come on now.

Okay, Bellatrix said mine is if he wanted to, he would love plus sized girls. Forget what you heard, girl. They love it, girl. So girl, guess what? I know that's right. I know that's right, girl.

You gotta, you gotta. I want you to learn a little bit about the games, girl. And then I want you to talk about games and then I want you to ask him to show you how to play a game.

That's how you get the gamers, girl. That's how you get the gamers. Oh, Kayla said like the live let's get to 100k. Oh, we'll get there, girl. Y' all already at 15. Do you play this game? Oh, what games do you play? Oh, can you show me how to play that one? Before you know it, you're over at his house, girl. Or you're at an arcade on a date, Right? Here's the thing about gamers. Once you're like in their Pres 7000. Thank you so much. I love it.

I love that so much. Thank you so much for the love.

Since they're gonna fall in love with you.

They are.

Love sjsb. And here's the thing, I don't like you're putting plus size in here, girl. The plus size, it doesn't matter, girl. It's about the confidence. Like you just everywhere you go, you just have to own the place. Yeah. These men will fall in love with your confidence. And the gag is that men love curvier than stick P said. I love your content advice. Thank you so much. Why are men asking for your numbers and nuts? Yeah. And if you don't believe me? Just look at magazines. Men's magazines versus women's magazines. Girl. The, you know, Marie Claire's and the Vogues are just like.

These girls.

The Maxim texting. Because it's a game for them, honey, that's why, like, I don't want you taking these men seriously when they're asking for your number, especially when it's offline. And it. The other things, just like these girls.

I got a gas station or a Walmart. Girl, don't. Yeah.

Ashlyn said, didn't someone say before you have a rich man laugh? I love your laugh, too. Even talk to those guys, okay? Because for them, it's a challenge. Thank you, girl. Thank you.

Yeah, they want to know how many numbers that they can get so that they can tell their boys. Oh, yeah. Everybody got something to say about my laugh, girl. Because it's wild, unbridled. Honey.

What are your thoughts on poly men? I'm talking to like seven girls right now. They're on my job. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Someone asked.

I think that a lot of men, if they had their way, would want to be poly. Now, you will see a lot of poly men in Atlanta and in D.C. because the numbers, like, you got 25, 30% more black women. No, girl, don't do that.

Women than black men. So a lot of these black men in these cities will go poly because.

The people's dog. What is the most common dating mistake you see with female physicians in their late 30s? Girl, that's a very specific question. The numbers are there for them, but other than that, I don't have any thoughts on them.

But I just want you to be aware of in some cities like this where the ratios are so different, you're going to see many more men that are poly because the numbers are there.

Elizabeth said. Amore. Yeah. Here's what I know. I work with a lot of doctors and help. I've been self sabotaging my new relationship because of trust issues. Most everybody's going to self sabotage in the first month of their relationship. That's one of the things that I know for sure. This is why in my program, once my clients get their guy, I always support them for an extra month, even if they're at the end of their their way. Because I know that that first I think that what they do.

What has worked for them, like.

They will approach their love life in the same way that they approach medical school. Right month. They're going to have a moment where they're going to go crazy and lose their Mind and their guy is going to have an insecure moment. And so to work through that is going to be the difference between having a relationship and not. Yeah.

Hey, all here.

Not much here. That's not me coming for you, girl. It means I'm just like memorizing things. Okay. I do.

Okay, let me see what's going on here.

Brit said, you're so funny. I love you. Thank you, girl. Bellatrix said like Arabic man, that mama's all in the mix. Sure are, honey.

This, I do that, I do this, I do that. And it actually prevents you from being in the present moment and actually checking in with yourself and figuring out how you feel. And this is for doctors, but this can also be for user 230 thoughts on A Guy inviting you out last minute? I don't do that because when he does last minute, oftentimes like 50% of the time it's because someone else said no and you're a replacement. Yeah, I just, you know, I just set a boundary. Oh my God. I would love to go but unfortunately I don't really take just women. Women of color in general. Right. So that's what I on last minute invites. Just cuz I have a busy schedule but let me know like a day or two beforehand so. So I can make sure that I can block out my calendar for another time for us to come together.

I would say to that.

Yeah. Okay. Coffee said, I wonder what happened with the finger eating date. So if you're in here, girl, the girl. Okay, so this one girl last week said that she.

Someone said, what's your attachment style? I don't really talk a lot about attachment styles because what I know is that when you're in a healthy relationship, that healthy relationship will make you very like, will get you into a very secure attachment style. And that's what I want. Went on a date with a guy and the guy put her whole finger in his mouth. And so she said she was going out with him again and we were kind of like, oh girl, we don't know about that one. But my clients and I want you all to focus on that. Most of us, especially if you're a woman of color, you're gonna have traumatic parts of you, healthy parts of you, and survival parts of you. And like my job is to make sure that we're, we're, we're. I think she went on the date, girl. So if you're here, girl, spill the truth, girl. Spill that tea, girl. Because we are obviously very invested. Yeah, girl. These men are wild, honey. Converting those survival and traumatic parts into healthy parts. You're not going to do that all the way in dating. Please understand that. You are. There are parts of you that will heal in a relationship. Some of the girls are. If he wanted a hot dog, he should have just ordered it from the menu.

Like, oh, like, I got to get my life together before I date. And they're trying to be perfect and they're trying to be all healed. Don't do that, girl.

You gotta heal 50 of the way. Another quarter will be while you're dating. Another quarter will be when you're in the relationship.

Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. See, y' all get me started, honey. That's what happens, honey.

My gosh, where y' all are talking so much, girl. Let me just. I gotta scroll up, girl, cuz I feel like I'm missing everybody. Oh, my God, y' all are gagging. Rotate said love these live sessions with you. I share this with my adult daughters. Good. I love that. That girl got me started with the king squirrel. That's what happened.

Obin said, I just. I just got off the phone with a man that offered to pray with me before I headed to bed. Marry him, right? Not yet, girl. See, this is how the Christian man get you, girl. They'll give you a cute little, little prayer, girl. Yeah. Bellatrix said, okay. Jennifer Holiday. She said she's staying. No, that's right.

Chris understood. Said, go ahead. Anwar.

Latoya said, wild horses control.

Don't. Don't be fooled by the rocks that he's got. Yeah. Prayer is one thing. Anybody can say a diddy, girl. I could read you Dr. Seuss, girl. Right. But it's really about how he shows up. And his actions.

The most praying drag me away from this life. I know that's right, girl. Me too. Okay. Men can often be the most narcissistic ones.

Right. I think a lot of women will get gagged on that. Like, oh, my God, he's praying over me, girl. The fact that he feels like he has to pray over you.

Sometimes, a little bit of a concern, right? So let's just be in observation mode. Let's. One eye emoji says, have a crush on this Korean gamer nerd guy from school. I don't have any experience and I'm plus size tips. Well, first of all, gamer, see, yeah.

This is important. This is important.

Love plus siiz girls forget what you heard.

Kayla said how to go on more dates when a lot of these girl, they love it, girl. So, girl, guess what? Men ain't Cute. Well, girl, date them at night time, girl. Or close your eyes.

Right? Or I don't know, girl. But here's the thing, and here's what I want y' all to know.

You don't want to date a hot guy. I always. You gotta, you gotta. I want you to learn a little bit about the games, girl. And then I want you to talk about games. And then I want you to ask him to show you how to play a game.

That's how you get the gamers, girl. That's how you get the gamers. Oh, tell the girls the cheat code is. Date a mid guy, girl. Date a mid guy, girl. That's the cheat code. Y' all trying to date the quarterback on the varsity football team and y' all need to be dating the guy that is the dork in the. In the front row who's in your AP class. Do you play this game or what games do you play? Oh, can you show me how to play that one? Yeah. Who's gonna work for you? Work hard, treat you right.

Mid on looks, top on everything else. That's the cheat code. I don't make the rules, girl. I just follow them. You can believe me or not, right? But if you go for these hot guys, before you know it, you're over at his house, girl. Or you're at an arcade on a date, right? Here's the thing about gamers. Once you're like in their presence, they're gonna fall in love with you.

They are like many of you are.

Please understand, this is what Simone Biles is doing right now. She's going for the hot guy and she.

The hot guys want you to chase them. They don't want to do any work. They've had privileged lives and oftentimes they're not really that great in bed. And here's the thing. I don't like you're putting plus size in here. Some are, girl, I'm not gonna lie to you. Some girl. Girl. The plus size, it doesn't matter, girl. It's about the confidence. Like, you just. Everywhere you go, you just have to own the place. Yeah. These men will. Some really are, girl.

But most fall in love with your confidence. And the gag is that men love curvier than sticks to them, aren't they don't want to do any work. They've never had to put in any work. The guys that are mid, they put in a lot of work because they're trying to compensate, right?

Yeah. And if you don't believe me, just look at magazines Men's magazines versus women's magazines. So you can listen to me or you don't have to. I'm just trying to. I'm trying to put you on game, girl. What I've learned in 14 years as being a dating coach.

Ferris Teal said 14 years ago, what prompted you to start coaching? Well, here's the thing. Women's magazines, girl, the, you know, Marie Claire's and the Vogues are just like.

These girls.

The Maxim. I've always been coaching. Ever since I was in the playground. I was helping the boys talk to the girls. The girls talk to boys. You know I told you I was an athlete, right? So, girl, one race, recess, I would be homes. The other things, just like these girls.

Open it up with the boys. The other resets. Girl, I be double touching with the girls.

Yeah. I've always been able to navigate both groups. And it wasn't until I had gone to an Ivy League institution to get my mba. I had reached out to my former classmates, all these amazing black women, and everything was going right for them except for their love life. And I was like, this is ridiculous. You're amazing. Like, girl, like me being the type a person that I am. Just like, girl, we have to just get this taken care of. And so, like, I was like, I'm just going to take over your love life. And within a couple of months, they were in relationships. And within a couple years, they were either in.

Yeah.

Ashlyn said, didn't someone say before you have a rich man laugh? I love your laugh, too. Aged or married. And I was like, at that time, I was working for some top fashion companies, like managing billion dollar budgets, things like that. And I was like, that shit is stressing me out. And I actually really love doing this and I'm really good at it. So I made the switch. Yeah. And got certified as a relationship coach and have been doing this work ever since. Thank you, girl. Thank you.

Yeah. Everybody got something to say about my laugh? Girl, because it's wild, unbridled, honey. That's how I got into it.

Okay, let me see what else is talking about. What are your thoughts on polymen? What? What else y' all are talking about? Tracy said, I'm thinking about tennis lessons. Girl. I got a tennis lesson. Someone asked.

I think that a lot of men, if they had their. Wow.

Jocelyn said, she needs an engineer, girl. Don't we all, honey. Don't we all? I always say engineers, girl, Teachers, accountants.

Guys in tech, blue collar way would want to be poly now. You will see a Lot of poly men in Atlanta and in D.C. because of numbers like you got 25, 30% more black women, girl. That's what, that's what I think.

That's what I lean toward.

Women than black men. So a lot of these black men in these cities will go poly because.

The numbers are there for them. But other than that, I don't have any thoughts on them.

All things new. So my daughter got invited to a gaming convention. Good girl. She about to get herself a nerd girl. I know that's right.

Chelsea said, the talk the most toxic men prefer.

But I just want you to be aware of in some cities like this where the ratios are so different, you're going to see many more men that are poly because the number sticks.

I think so. I think it's because they want to feel like they can physically control them. But also I think it's because they're there.

Elizabeth said amore because they have both like hyper masculine and hyper feminine help. I've been self sabotaging my new relationship because of trust issues. Most energy.

And I. And that equals narcissistic energy.

Yua said, how do I make an approach on a guy in my MBA class? Oh my God, great question. Because I've had. I did this many times.

A couple of things. Everybody's going to self sabotage in the first month of their relationship. That's one of the things that I know for sure. This is why in my program, once my clients get their guy, I always support them for an extra. Usually there will be like a happy hour. That's when you want to start to talk to him a little bit more or you can ask him for help in a certain class. Right. Hey, can I ask you like I need some help on this. Can you, can you look over my work and just see if I'm doing this right? Even if they're at the end of their their way. Because I know that that first and then that's one another way that you can do it. A third way that you can do it is like after you do one of those two things and say, oh my God, I'm like right after that, oh my God, I'm about to get like some coffee or I'm about to get a. You know, some month they're going to have a moment where they're going to go crazy and lose their mind and their guy is going to have lunch. Do you want to hang out? And then you start talking about more personal things. That's. And then before you know it, girl.

You got yourself an insecure moment. And so to work through that is going to be the difference between having a relationship and not. Yeah.

Have a little NBA husband. Honey.

John 445 said, As a mid sized girl, it's always been the gamer super nerdy skinny men that show the interest the most. That's right. That's number one. If you mid size plus size tall, lanky gamer.

And then obviously.

See the black and Hispanic eyes and then.

The guys that are half your size or 20 years older than you, girl.

Lonnie.

Okay, let me see what's going on here. Brit said, you're so funny. I love you. Thank you girl. Bellatrix said, if the man has mommy issues, should I run? Yes.

Yes.

Please do.

Run. Like it's like Arabic man. That mama's all in the mix. Sure are honey.

E class girl.

Indigo said, the Gatorade bottle again. Yes M so for the girls that don't know that are new here, this is what I call user 230 thoughts on A Guy inviting you out last minute I don't do that because when he on my Dominican.

That's last minute. Oftentimes like 50% of the time it's because someone else said no and you're a replacement. Yeah, I just, you know, I just set a boundary. Oh Micah said that gallery bottle already represents something else. The girls who know no honey, honey, y' all are pervs. Honey. No shade.

Resting snitch face. My God I would love to go but unfortunately I don't really take I said Seattle is overrun with dudes like 10 men to every woman. Come out here and help us. Girl. Why do I have to help you? There are 10 men to every woman. Just like Seattle, Bay area and Austin, that is. Those are like the three like more major cities that have actually more men than on last minute invites just because I have a busy schedule but let me know like a day or women. All of the other cities had more women than men. Erica said, I love I live for your videos. Thank you girl. I appreciate it.

Or two beforehand so I can make sure that I can block out my calendar for another time for us to come together.

Alicia said, I love your content so much. Thank you, thank you. I appreciate it. Kim K said, how do we schedule one on one consultations? In the link in my bio there should be a selection to book a consultation call, you'll fill out an application and if the application is approved.

You'll see a calendar to book a consultation call. Okay.

Someone said, what's your attachment style? I don't really talk.

A lot about attachment styles because what I know is that when you're in.

Healthy relationship that healthy relationship will make you very like and start said my cutie was terrible in bed, my mid, my midi put in work every single to get you into a very secure attachment style. And that's what I want time.

I think you guys think I say things just for the gag my clients and I want you all to focus on that. Most of us, especially if you're a woman of color. I'm really trying to put you all on honey. I really am.

Lightning bolt said. How do you unlearn that? I want to find man to get to the. The mid guy is great too. Because what needs to happen is that you need to understand that like chemistry those chemicals fade within 18 months. You're gonna have traumatic parts of you, healthy parts of you and survival parts of you. And like my job is to make sure that we're, we're, we're and that what matters. Like you want to date for a relationship that's gonna last 20, 30, 40 years, you can have you converting those survival and traumatic parts into healthy parts. You're not going to do that. You can go out and have sex with a fine guy tonight. That doesn't mean anything and it's probably going to be mid anyway at all the way in dating. Please understand that you are.

You want a guy that is going to put in the work and the work looks like cooking and cleaning in the home. It's gonna look like taking you to doctor's appointments when you're 60 plus. Right. Those are the things that matters. There are parts of you that will heal in a relationship. Some of the girls are like oh like I gotta get my life together before I date. And they're trying to be perfect and they're trying to be all it's gonna mean driving you everywhere and not complaining about it.

Because mid guys put in the work. They're used to working.

And not complaining. Healed. Don't do that girl.

You gotta heal 50% of the way. My partner, he never complains about anything.

Never. And maybe it's his cold ass Canadian behind. But another quarter will be while you're dating, another quarter will be when you're in the relationship. He's not a complainer. You want a guy that doesn't complain. That's one of the things that you want to observe.

Yeah.

Serve for when you're like having a date with a guy. If he's complaining about the weather, if he's complaining about work he's going to complain for the rest of his life. Let somebody else hear those complaints. Girl, you not customer service. You hear me?

Oh, my gosh, Where y' all are talking so much? Girl, let me just. I gotta k. Bruno said white boy winter now mid boy spring. I know that's right, girl. Spring. Spring is where. Scroll up, girl. Cuz I feel like I'm missing everybody. Oh, my God, y' all are gagging. Rot Said, love these live sessions with you. I share this with my adult daughters. Good. I love that.

You know, the cherry blossoms come out, girl. So that's when I'm looking for my Asian men. That's where I'm going to Uniqlo. Getting my boba. Getting my karaoke, girl.

Yes. So April may grow when those cherry blossoms come out, girl. And those. Those pink flowers flutter down and the wind, girl, that's when you got to be looking for your Asian men, honey.

Is anybody White boy wintering?

Obin Said. I just. I just got off the phone with him. Who has a white boy? You have a white boy. You have a white boy. You have a white boy. Everybody has a white boy.

Yeah. Okay. Ms. John Wick. Love the name. By the way, how do we want a man that offered to pray with me before I headed to bed? Marry him, right? Not yet, girls. He watch out for being fetishized. Great question.

I think that one of the things that I see this is how the Christian man get you. Girl. They'll give you a cute little prayer. Girl.

Don't. Don't be fooled by the rocks that he's got is guys that will, like, fetishize you will often really talk about your physicality. So they'll talk about your skin. Yeah. Prayer is one thing. Anybody can say it again, Tone. They'll do, like, that contrast, and they usually are like this white when they're doing that contrast, girl. Like, oh, my God, look at the difference. The. The thing that you have to take, you have to be aware of is, like, guys that will talk about your hair are really into you and oftentimes will not try to, like, fetishize you. A diddy, girl. I could read you Dr. Seuss, girl. Right? But the guys that are, like, talking about your lips or your nose or your skin tone, it's really about how he shows up and his actions.

The most. Pray. No, girl. I used to live in Germany, girl, and some of those Germans, I told you they were kinky, right? Third Reich tea, girl. Fearing men can often be the most narcissistic ones.

Right? I Think a lot of women will get gagged on that. Like, oh, my God, he's praying over me. Girl, the fat they grow, they would like, mmm, your skin smells different. I feel like, girl, I just, like, didn't shower this morning, but, like, girl, it feels different. Girl, they were all into it, girl. They were like, girl, they thought I was an alien, girl.

And I gave. I gave him this. Girl, I gave him that. Yeah. So that's how I know. Fact that he feels like he has to pray over you.

Sometimes. A little bit of a concern, right? So let's just be in observation mode. Let's see. Yeah.

This is important. This is important. Hopefully that's helpful.

Said, well, you're great at what you do. Thank you, girl. I appreciate it. I said, thoughts on the girl making the first move? It depends on how you make the first move, girl. Right? Don't make the first move like, some of these perv guys make the first move important.

That's not gonna work. You hear me?

Right. It's too much, right? You know, you can give green light, girl.

You can, you know, first move doesn't often mean, like, you have to talk to them. You can, you know, give them. I give them smile.

Kayla said, how to go on more dates when a lot of these men ain't cute. Well, girl, date them at nighttime, girl. Give them tilt of the head. Give them wave, right? That's also, like, you know, starting something. You know, Michael said, once you want to be starting something, that's what I'm going to tell you. You want to be starting something, you got to be starting something or close your eyes.

Right?

Shantae said, where do you meet engineers, hackathons.

Conventions, conferences, networking events.

Kayla said, is this Q and A live? Yes, girl, but there's 900 of you and one of me, girl. So I'm a little bit behind.

Or I don't know, girl. But here's the thing, and here's what I want y' all to know.

You don't want to date a hot guy. I always tell the girls, the cheat code is data mid guy girl. Data mid guy, girl.

Briana said, this man called me and said he can't be spending money on dates anymore. We started dating a month ago. That's the cheat code. Y' all trying to date the quarter.

Poverty.

That's fine. You know what you say? Thank you so much. You know, I really appreciate and I admire the fact that you are so financially responsible, but.

I don't feel a connection anymore, and I want to wish you the Best of luck.

We'Re back on the varsity football team. And y' all need to be dating the guy that.

That is the dork in the. In the front row who's in your AP class. Yeah. Who's going to work for you? Work hard, treat you right.

Yeah.

Mid on looks, top on every.

Let me see what y' all are talking about. I gotta get this question all the time. Thoughts on military men, the nurse thing, else, that's the cheat code. I don't make the rules, girl. I just follow them. You can believe me or not, right? But if you go for these hot guys, like many of you are.

Please understand. This is what Simone Biles is doing right now. She's going for the hot guy and she.

The hot guys want you to chase them. They don't want to do any work. They've had privileged lives and oftentimes they're not really that great in bed. Some are, girl. I'm not gonna lie to you. Some girl.

Some really are, girl.

But most of them aren't. They don't want to do any work. They've never had to put in any work. The guys that are mid, they put in a lot of work because they're trying to compensate, right?

So you can listen to me or you don't have to. I'm just trying to. I'm trying to put you on game, girl. What I've learned in 14 years as being a dating coach. Girl, don't do it.

Don't do it.

I have a lot of videos on this.

A lot of ptsd, a lot of God complex, sometimes violence.

Ferris Teal said 14 years ago, what prompted you to start coaching? Well, here's the thing. I've always been coaching, ever since I was in the playground. I'll talk to the boys, talk to the girls. The girls talk to boys. You know I told you I was an athlete, right? So? So, girl, one recess, I would be hooping it up with the boys. The other resets. Girl, I'd be double touching with the girls.

Yeah, I've always been able to navigate both groups. And it wasn't until I had gone to an Ivy League institution to get my mba. I had reached out to my former classmates. All these amazing black women, emotional abuse.

A lot of them, no shade, are.

On the DL. It's like military is almost like a prison. And you know, like prisoners, they go in there and men. And everything was going right for them except for their love life. And I was like, this is ridiculous. You're amazing. Like girl, like me being the type a person that I am just like, girl, we have to just get this together. They're doing crazy stuff with each other. That's how the military men do it. Especially if they're in the Navy, girl. Taken care of. And so like, I was like, I'm just going to take over your love life. And within a couple of months they were in relationships. And within a couple years, they were either engaged or married. And I was like, at that time I was working for some top fashion companies, like managing billion dollar budgets, things like that. And I was like, that shit is stressing me out. And I actually really love doing this and I'm really good at it. So I made the switch. Yeah. And got. Don't get with a man in the Navy, girl. That's all I gotta say.

Brandy said, wish I took your advice on Nigerian men.

Certified as a relationship coach and have been doing this work ever since.

That's how I got into it.

Okay, let me see what else is talking. What? What else y' all are talking about? Tracy said, I'm thinking about tennis lessons. Girl, I got a tennis lesson tomorrow.

Jocelyn said, she needs an engineer. Girl, don't be all.

Interesting.

I want to let you know I got a lot of shit for that video about Nigerian men. I mean, a lot. So please understand that Sacrifices were mohani. Don't we all? I always say engineers, girl. Teachers made to share that tea with you as my mentor. Tyra Banks, accountants.

Guys in tech, blue collar, girl. That's what. That's what I think.

That's what I lean toward.

All things new. So my daughter got invited to a gaming convention. Good glut Said, learn something from this. Learn something from that video. Yeah.

Girl. She about to get herself a nerd. Girl. I know that's right.

Kat 24k. How do you get a guy who plays soccer?

Chelsea said, the talk the most toxic. Men prefer sticks.

I think so. I think it's because they want to feel like they can physically control them. But also I think it's because they have both like hyper masculine and hyper feminine energy.

And I. And that equals narcissistic energy.

What do you mean, get him? They have to get you. This is the wrong mentality. Yeah, I already know that. You're in chaser, you're pursuing. You're in the masculine. If you're trying to get a guy, you have to be. You gotta get gotten.

Ya said. How do I make an approach on a guy in my MBA class? Oh, my God. Great question. Because I've had. I did this many times.

Couple of things.

Usually there will be like a happy hour. That's when you want to start to talk to him a little bit more. Or you can ask him for help on a certain class. Right. Hey, can I ask you, like, I need some help on this. Can you. Can you look over my work and just see if I'm doing this right? And then that's another way that you can do it. A third way that you can do it is like after you do one of those two things and say, oh, my God, I'm like, right after that, oh, my God, I'm about to get like some coffee. Or I'm about to get a. You know. And that's an energy that we gotta learn. Yeah.

Lent to want to hang out. And then you start talking about more personal things.

That's. And then before you know it, girl.

You got yourself a little NBA husband. Honey.

John445 said, As a midsize girl, it's always been the gamer, super nerdy skinny men that show the interest the most. That's right. That's number one. If you mid size plus size, tall, lanky, gamer.

And then obviously the black and Hispanic guys and then the guys that are half your size or 20 years older than you, girl.

Portia said is 12 months too ambitious for a marriage timeline. I think that if you're 50 plus. No, I think if you're younger than 50.

Yeah.

Lonnie said, if the man has mommy issues. Should I run? Yes.

Yes.

Please do.

Run like it's psych. You wanna. You wanna see? I always say, you wanna be E class girl.

And it goes at the Gatorade bottle again. Yes. So for the girls that don't know that are new here, this is what I call my Dominican.

I think engagement around 18 months to two years. That's what you want to be aiming for. You want to see him, how he. How he shows up in a variety of different seasons. Girl, you could be having the best time. And then he had. Micah said that G bottle already represents something else. The girls who know. No, honey, honey. Y' all are pervs. Honey, no sh.

Resting snitch face said Seattle is overrun with dudes. Like, 10 men to every woman. Come out here and help us. Girl has crazy winter depression or he gets so happy. Why do I have to help you? There are 10 men to every woman. Just like, okay, Seattle, Bay Area and Austin, that is. Those are like the three, like more major cities that have actually more men than women. All of the other cities have more women than Men. Erica said, I love. I live for your videos. Thank you girl. I appreciate it.

Feel lucky during the summer and he can't control himself. You want to see him in all of the seasons, girl.

Yeah.

Alicia said, I love your content so much. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. Kim K said, how do we schedule one on one consultations? In the link in my bio, there should be a selection to book a consultation call. You'll fill out an application and if the application is approved, you'll see a calendar to book a consultation call. Okay.

Kalyn said, I had to let go of my Dominican men in the military for med school. Girl Dominican plus military, double homicide.

Second star. Said my cutie was terrible in bed. My mid, my midi put in work every single time.

I think you guys think I say things just for the gag. Girl. No good could have come up from a girl now if you had said Dominican. Ginger.

I'm really trying to put you all on, honey. I really am.

Lightning bolt said, how do you unlearn that? I want a fine man to get to the mid guy is great too. Because what needs to happen is that you need to understand that like chemistry, those chemicals fail fade within 18 months. Accountant.

More positives than not so positive. Squirrel is dating math. Girl is dating math. Some are plus one, some are plus two. And that what matters. Like you want to date for a relationship that's going to last 20, 30, 40 years, you can have, you can go out and have sex with a fine guy tonight. That doesn't mean anything and it's probably gonna be mid anyway.

Dominican is like a minus two, no shade. And the girls who have dated Dominicans already know and I'm being generous when I say minus two. Girl, the girls who have dated Dominicans, they will say minus 10. You want a guy that is going to put in the work and the work looks like cooking and cleaning in the home. It's gonna look like taking you to doctor's appointments when you're 60 plus. Right? Those are the things that matters. It's going to mean driving you everywhere and not complaining about it. And like.

In more than one way, girl.

Because mid guys put in the work. They're used to working.

And not complaining. My partner, he never complains about anything.

Okay. By the way, if you want to learn how to do this work in a very serious yet fun way and.

Never and maybe it's his cold ass Canadian behind, but he's not a complainer. You want a guy that doesn't complain, that's one of the things that you want to observe for when you're like, having a date with a guy. If he's complaining about the weather, if he's complaining about work, he's gonna complain for the rest of his life. And, like, get your guy. Definitely book a consultation call with me. The link is in my bio. I also have a link to my podcast in my bio. It's really good. I actually have a new. Let somebody else hear those complaints, girl. You not customer service. You hear me?

K. Bruno said white boy winter, now mid boy spring. I know that's right, girl. Spring is where you episode coming out tomorrow with coach Sheena. She is the.

The owner, founder of black Girls Heal amazing podcast and work that she does. You know, the cherry blossoms come out, girl. So that's when I'm looking for my Asian men. That's where I'm going to Uniqlo, getting my Boba, Getting my karaoke, girl. Yes. So April May, girl, when those cherry blossoms come out, girl, and those. Those pink flowers flutter down and the wind, girl, that's when you gotta be looking for your Asian men, honey.

Is anybody white boy wintering around? Kind of love addiction. So that episode is gonna be really good. So definitely check that out. And I also have a free training.

Who has a white boy? You have a white boy. You have a white boy. You have a white boy. Everybody has a white boy.

Yeah. Okay. Ms. John Wick. Love the name, by the way. How do we.

Watch out for being fetishized? Great question.

I think that one of the things that I see is guys that will, like, fetishize you will often really talk about your physicality. So they'll talk about your skin tone. They'll do like, that contrast. And they usually are like this white when they're doing that contrast, girl. Like, oh, my God, look at the difference. The thing that you have to take, you have to be aware of is, like, guys that will talk about your hair are really into you, and oftentimes will not try to, like, fetishize you. Krish Kitten said, love your podcast. Thank you, girl. I appreciate it and thank you all so much for the hundred thousand likes, y'. All really on your. On your. On your, like, tip, honey.

The guys that are, like, talking about your lips or your nose or your skin tone.

Chloe said Simon and Porsche Chow.

No, girl, I used to live in Germany, girl, and some of those Germans, I told you they were kinky, right? Third Reich Te, girl, they grow. They would like, your. Your skin smells different. Be like, girl, I just, like, didn't shower this morning. But, like, girl, they. It feels different, girl. They were all into it, girl. They were like, girl, they thought I was an alien, girl.

And I gave. I gave him this girl. Yeah. So that's how I know. Hopefully that's help.

Lena said, well, you're great at what you do. Thank. Is he Nigerian?

Text re said, I work with the military. Their testosterone be so high, they rub it on each. Thank you, girl. I appreciate it. I said, that's on the girl making the first move. It depends on how you make the other. I know. And all those men in one place, girl, I know they. They gotta tear something up, girl. It's too much, girl. When you have all that testosterone in one place, girl, the first move, girl, right? Don't make the first move. Like some of these perv guys make the first move. That's not gonna work. Hear me.

Right? It's too much, right? You know, you can give green light, girl.

You can, you know, first move doesn't often mean, like, you have to talk to them. You can, you know, give them. I give them smile, give them tilt of the head, give them wave, right? That's also like, you know, starting something. You know, Michael said, once, you want to be starting something, and that's what I'm going to tell you. You want to be starting something, you got to be starting something. It is like it becomes exponential, girl. And they gotta. They gotta let it go.

Some way somehow.

Shantae said, where do you meet engineers, hackathons.

Conventions, conferences, networking events, Glam. Tam Tam said, is it still up? It sure is, girl. I don't. Girl, I only take videos down. If it's, like, triggering to women, if it's triggering to men, I keep it up, girl.

Kayla said, is this Q A live? Yes, girl, but there's 900 of you and one of me, girl, so I'm a little bit behind.

Brianna said, this man called me and said he can't be spending money on dates anymore. We started dating a month ago.

Poverty.

That's fine. You know what you say? Thank you so much. You know, I really appreciate and I admire the fact that you are so financially responsible, but I don't feel like connection because I don't care about them.

Yeah. User260, thank you for that Nigerian tea. Anytime, girl. Anytime anymore. And I want to wish you the best of luck.

Sam said.

Yeah.

I was wondering how you were after you posted that video. Oh, girl, I was good. I'm good. It just.

Let me see what y' all are talking about. I gotta get this question all the time. Thoughts on military men. The nurse, Mo girl. Don't do it.

Don't do it.

I have a lot. It went viral everywhere. But like, I don't really listen to. To men. So.

I'm always, I'm always. A lot of videos on this.

A lot of ptsd, a lot of God complex, sometimes violence, emotional abuse.

A lot of them, no shade are.

On the DL really focused on. Because I've done some videos that have like really triggered women. And those are the videos that I like, I take down. Like I did one about like attractiveness ratings and that was something that like, it's like military is almost like a prison and you know, like prisoners, they go in there and then they're. They're doing crazy stuff with each other. That's how the military men do it. Especially if they're in the navy, girl.

Don't get with a man in the navy, girl. That's all I gotta say.

Brandy said, wish I took your advice on Nigerian men.

Interesting.

I want to let you know I got a lot of for that video about Nigeria. Men, women did not feel good about. And so I took it down because that definitely is not my intention.

Eclectic said that video went viral on Twitter. Yes, girl, ig, Twitter, Reddit.

Everywhere.

Chelsea said, but the Nigerian ladies, I mean a lot. So please understand that sacrifices were made to share that tea with you as my mentor. Tyra Banks. What Said, learn something from this. Learn something from that video. Yeah.

Cat 24k. How do you get a guy who plays soccer? What do you mean get him? They have to get you. This is the wrong mentality. Yeah. I already know that you're in chaser. Came in strong and backed you up in the comments. And I saw that and I love that because I knew what. I know what I'm talking about. The men were mad. I put all their game out, girl. They didn't like that.

Rosviel said, guys in recovery, you're pursuing, you're in the masculine. If you're trying to get a guy, you have to be, you gotta get gotten.

And that's an energy that we gotta learn. Yeah.

Portia said, It's 12 months too ambitious for a marriage timeline. I think that if you're 50 plus, I think that they've got to focus on themselves.

And if they are focusing on themselves, they can't focus on you. And in your relationship, you've got to be the focus. That's how I know. I think if you're younger than 50.

Yes. You wanna, you wanna See, I always say you wanna. I think engagement around 18 months to two years. That's what you want to be aiming for. Think about it.

You want to see him how he. How he shows up in a variety of different.

Portia said you should do ant seasons, girl. You could be having the best time and then he has crazy winter depression or he gets so happy go lucky during the summer and he can't control himself. You want to see him in all of the seasons, girl.

Yeah.

Asmr on YouTube maybe asmr dating mantras you'd be. You'd get crazy views.

What do you mean?

Kin said I had to let go of my Dominican man in the military for med school girl. Dominican plus military double homicide.

Don't go out with that loser.

Girl no good could have come up from a girl. Now if you had said Dominican gender.

Accountant.

More positives than not so positives. Girl is dating math. Girl is dating math. Some are plus one, some are plus twos. Dominican is like a minus two. No shade.

And the girls who have dated Dominicans already know. And I'm being generous when I say minus two, girl. The girls who have dated Dominicans, they will say minus 10. Like.

And more than one way, girl.

He's back.

Like that girl. Like.

Okay. By the way, if you want to learn how to do this work in a very serious yet fun way and. And like, get your guy definitely book a consultation call with me. The link is in my bio. I also have a link to my podcast in my bio. It's really good. I actually have a new episode coming out tomorrow with coach Sheena. She is the.

The owner founder of Black Girls Heal, amazing podcast and work that she does around kind of love addiction. So that episode is going to be really good. That.

Let me see what y' all are so definitely check that out. And I also have a free training.

Kush Kitten said, love your podcast. Thank you, girl. I appreciate it and thank you all so much for the hundred thousand likes. Y' all really on your. On your. On your like tip, honey.

Chloe said Simon and Portia child.

Talking about so so Mar, what's your opinion on mama's boys? Leave them with their mama's. Is he Nigerian.

Girl.

He will always put his mother before you. Text Re said, I work with the military. Their testosterone be so high. They rub it on each other. I know. And all those men in one place, girl. I know they. They gotta tear something up, girl. It's too much, girl. When you have all that testosterone in one place, girl, it. It is like it becomes exponential, girl. And they gotta. They gotta let it go.

And there's a moment in a man's life where he has to put his wife before his mother. And those men often are not able to do that because they're.

Some way, somehow.

Glam. Tam Tam said, is it still up? It sure is, girl. I don't. Girl, I only take videos down if it's, like, triggering to women. If it's triggering to men, I keep it up, girl, because I don't care about.

Yeah. A relationship is actually one where oftentimes a mama's boy has become a surrogate partner for the mother.

Yeah.

User260 thank you for that Nigerian tea. Anytime, girl. Anytime.

Sam said, I was wondering how you were after you posted that video. Oh, girl, I was good. I'm good. It went viral everywhere. But I don't really listen to men.

Jazzy said, where to.