Dating Q and A 06-18-24

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Hello, ladies. I hope everyone is doing well. What's your tea? Did you miss me?

I surely missed you. But I will tell you something, girl. I've been tired, girl. Here's the tea, honey. Anytime that the seasons change, anytime that the weather changes, girl, feels like I'm going through the change and it wipes me out. Hunty. Yes. Hello, hello, hello, hello. It's good to see you all. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Now, for those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar White. I'm a dating coach for black and brown women. And I'm here to get your dating life together. Girl, we gotta level up. Dating is the hardest that it's ever been, but I want to make sure that I am giving you what you need to succeed. And I literally get DMs every day talking about, oh, my God, thank you so much. I have much more confidence or I got my guy or what happened, Whatever may happen, right?

So in these sessions, what I generally do is girls put your questions in the chat. It can be about love, dating, relationships, men, women, whatever, I don't care. And I will answer them in the order that I see them so that we can continue to help you get your guy. That's really what.

My programs are all about.

And what I'm all about, as many of you may know.

You know, I. I try to be as generous as possible.

I. I try to be as generous as possible with my videos and things like that because I want. I want you all to succeed. Now, the difference between my videos and my dating program is that we go much deeper, right? This is just kind of a sliver. This is like 5%. Honey, this isn't, like, much of anything. So if you want to go deeper, you can definitely go to the link in my bio and book a consultation call if you're interested in working with me. If not, no pressure.

Girl, we're booked and busy. Myself like, like, girl, every day it's another woman coming in. So it's amazing. But the girls are getting their guys this week, and in the last three days, it's been three exclusive relationships. Last week it was four exclusive relationships, and the week before that it was five exclusive relationships. So, honey, the girls are making it happen in my program, and if that is something that is of interest to you, definitely come join. Honey, we're having fun. We're talking our ish, we're flirting, we're bantering, and we're making dating more fun because I know y' all are treating dating like work, honey. And a lot of y' all are acting, talking to these guys as if you're in the HR department.

Don't do that, girl. So if you want to learn how to engage a bit more and have that confidence, honey, definitely book a call. That's what it's all about. And if there's anything that I share, any answers that I give that really resonate with you or heart, tap the screen. Double tap, triple tap. Like it up, honey. Because that's what it's about at the end of the day. Okay?

Yes, honey. Hr, honey.

The gag is you can either be part of the HR department, HR mode, or you can be the personality hire. And in dating, you want to be the personality hire.

Okay.

Okay. With that said, let me see what y' all are talking about. Hey, Joanne. KK Said, it's been so long. Good to see you. Yes, girl, I was tired last week. I have to tell you all something. Oh, I am. Dominic, Dominique. Nika said, thank you for recommending the show, Queenie. It was a great insight. Girls, let me tell you something. Ladies, let me tell you something. I get people that are trying to partner with me each and every day, and I really don't do that because it feels like kind of selling out. But they showed me this show, and I was like, there are so many people that want to.

Need to see this journey of a black woman navigating the ups and downs of dating and life. And so I was like, yes, I will partner with you on this. And so I definitely want to encourage you all to watch that show. Queenie on hulu came out June 7, so. So check it out for sure. Yeah. So I'm glad that that was something that was great for you. Okay. And thank you all so much for the. The likes here.

So. But, girl, I was tired last week, girl. I was still partnering with Hulu last week, girl. I had three.

Meetings with production companies about this potential TV show that's happening, honey.

And I had an interview with the BBC. So, girl, she was busy. She was tired. She was trying to, you know, do what she can for God in her country.

Ms. Danny Kearney said. Did you say partnering with Hulu? Yes, honey, I said that. She's coming up in the world, girl.

So she was busy, booked, booked and very busy. But, girl, I'm tired. I was so tired.

So with that said and a lot of great, like, enthusiasm around this, so I'm super excited about that.

So Lexi said, love the Bel Air jersey.

Why don't he? Why he don't love me, man. You know that part. A fresh front of Bel Air.

Okay.

Okay. Let me see what's going on here. Poison ivy said to a bow Massi buku. Although it's maybe not for me. Circuit said your hinge tip. Game changer. Thank you so much. So here's the thing, girls. If you're black in real life, you can't be black on these apps.

No shade, but you might have to white face.

Either say you're white Asian or keep it blank on all your dating apps.

Just doing that alone.

Will 2x3x your chances.

You hear me?

Yeah. You heard me?

Yeah. It means that these dating apps are racist and that they will show you different men based on your race.

So, girl, tell them you're white. I mean, my last name is white, so I honey.

Upside down said I'm Afro Latina. But the black and white photo was a game changer. Yes, honey. Also, one of your six pictures needs to be a black and white picture. The black and white pictures get about 103 or 107% more likes. So have a black and white picture as well. Okay, I'm putting you up on game. Now. This is the stuff that I only give my clients honey, right? And that's why they get in their guys, honey. So I'm giving you a lot of tea that a lot of these other dating coaches out here, they're not really telling you that tea. Okay? I want you to win. I want you to succeed. And guess what? You don't even have to pay me now for my clients, I'm gonna. We're gonna go deep and do that healing work so that when they do get into the relationship, they're ready for it and they're not self sabotaging and they're not picking fights and they're healed and they. They. When they're in a safe relationship, they know how to maintain and manage it for years upon years. That's the value out of my program. Okay. All right, Let me see what the girls are talking about here. I love the fact that you guys are implementing what I'm saying.

Because I want you all to win. Jenny said. Thank you, coach. We love your content. Oh, thank you so much. I appreciate that.

Can dating be done without a dating app? 100%. But I think the dating I. I want you to be on, online, and offline. I want you to be everywhere. If you don't love online, just be there for five minutes a day, ten minutes a day. You want. You want these men coming from everywhere. A lot Of y' all might be tired of the apps because y' all are on them too much, girl. Five minutes a day when you're getting your steps in, honey. Because I know some of y' all are really aggro about your steps.

All the way to 10,000 steps, girl.

Yeah.

Someone'S asking me best apps. So when a client comes into my program, we have like a whole intro sheet that they fill out so we get an understanding of who they are. And that's how we're recommending dating app. So that's something that I do specifically with my clients.

Because it really depends on your age, your race, your size, your tone, your personality, all of that. And that's why I've had so many people every week get into great relationships. Yeah. So.

Gonna have to get into my program if you want some of that. Any tips for us girls who grew up insecure of our dark skin and now still feel like it hurts us? Here's the thing.

You're gonna need to open it up to the white guy. Squirrel.

Now, I'm not saying that they are some sort of savior. No savior complex, T. What I'm saying is that there are certain, like the white guys that love black women, girl, they love them dark, honey.

And sometimes like some of the black guys that you might engage with might have like internal kind of self hatred. And so all I'm saying is that you want to diversify. If. If I'm a darker skinned woman, I would. This is how I would focus. This is how I would think about it.

Yeah, the white man and the light skinned guys go crazy for the dark, darker skinned women. But the thing about the light skinned guys is that, girl, we can't. Girl, we can't trust them. We can't trust them, girl. Toxic tea. If I'm a darker skinned woman, this is how I'm doing. This is how I'm checking for my. To get my guy.

30% black, 30% other.

40% white.

That's. That's how I'm thinking about my portfolio, the guys that I'm talking to, liking and all of that.

Yeah.

You gotta diversify. It's gotta look like a united colors of Benatona ad.

Okay, let me see what y' all are talking about. I gotta get to these questions, honey.

Kayla said on the dating apps, if the first correspondence is asking you on a date, is that a reflect? No, just set a boundary, girl. I don't know. You do it. Stranger danger. Catch that.

T Said, are dating apps really the answer to meeting people? I really don't want to have to download them. I will say a good number of my clients find their guys on apps, but it's not the be all end all.

So you've got to make dating work for you. But if you're gonna say, I don't like the apps, it means that you're gonna need to be outside side intentionally trying to meet men two to three times a week. If you're serious about this. Because a lot of the girls are working from home and living from home.

So if you don't like the apps and you want to date, you got to do something different. You got to be outside.

If you don't have a tan.

You'Re not outside enough.

Okay, Carter says, anwar, I want a man for the summer. Help. Here's the gag, girl. Here's what the guys are going to do. And I'm telling you this, a couple of weeks ahead of time, right before July 4th and right after July 4th, your exes are going to come back.

And they're gonna do this because. And you might be finding it now because it's warmer. They're feeling frisky. They might have. Hold on a second. And I have to charge this iPad, Honey, they're feeling frisky. They want to see if you still Bout it, bout it, all of that.

So.

Make sure that you're blocking them, honey. They think that just because it's Independence Day that they can come back into your life. Don't let them.

Okay?

Okay. June said, love you all more. Thank you, girl. Brianna said, hope you had a great Father's Day. I did, honey, but I was exhausted by the end. Honey, I got three kids. I don't even know why I was celebrating Father's Day when y' all know I am a suburban mother of three. Honey.

Someone said, anwar, what is the first step you suggest to opening it up to other races? If you love black overweight, check in luggage and swag. Well, here's the gag for the girls that are new here.

When we talk about luggage, we're talking about the D. You have to understand that, number one, these black guys are not packing as much as they used to. So I know that we grew up thinking, oh, my God, the BBC girl. Blah, blah, blah, girl. A third of them are packing, a third of them are mid, and a third of them are small, girl. It is the fourth food. It is the pollution. It's a variety of. It's in the water, girl. So don't be hyper focused on that, honey. And if I'm lying, I'M dying, girls. Yeah, let me know, honey. In the. In the. In the chat, Honey, are they packing anymore?

Someone said, it's epidemic, girl. It was a pandemic. Before the pandemic.

It was a blam demic girl. Blah. Damn.

So the girls are like, I gotta. I got to get with a black man. He's gonna D me down and blah, blah, girl. No, he's not, girl. Lowercase.

Yes, honey. And someone said, functional issues. Yeah, girl.

So we have this preconceived notion in our head that these men are going to protect us. I'm going to say something that is a little bit controversial, but I think it's important to understand this. A lot of us think that black men are going to protect you, but no shade. They can't even protect themselves.

So.

They are not.

A lot of us are looking for men that are going to make us feel feminine. And your job is to do the work to be feminine. Right. And so that's some of the work that I do with my clients.

So.

You know, someone's clutching their pearls.

But a lot of you are saying, yes, I'm right, and I'm. There's no shade. It's absolutely no shade, girl.

But that's the experience that I'm here. That's that I'm hearing from the girls. And that was my experience before.

As married.

So.

Catch that T. That lowercase T.

Vanessa said, amar, when I see you on the live, it makes me happy. Good, good, good, good.

Okay, let me see what y' all are talking about. Quinn Sheba said, I'm a black woman. In Colorado, the Black men available are 008. Girl, if you're in Colorado, girl, you should be skiing all day, every day. Snow days. Catch that.

What's your take on European men? I mean, girl, when I tell you they're checking for y', all, like, if you go To Europe, you are 10x in your chance of finding a husband.

Honey, I'm married now, but, girl, I'm taking my family to Germany and Italy. Girl, I might get a second or third one. That's just how easy it is over there. You hear me?

Let me see what else you all are asking. Melkia said, should I put a specific location on these dating apps to better the chances.

You. Well, it depends where you're located. Right?

Jenny said, what about Irish men? Do they like black women? Girl, I wish. People love black people, girl. The Irish are the blacks of the whites, girl.

They're the blacks of the Europe, girl.

Someone said, elmore, should you reveal chronic illness to a potential during the dating phase. I would talk about that around date 3 or later on.

SIDS Internet said. What do you think about matchmaking services? I think that they have a 5% success rate and that's for the white girls. I know for sure that most of the matchmakers don't know how to match black women. That's why I'm trying to create a show to help women get matched.

Alexa said, Any tips for girls that like Indian nerdy men? One of the things you got to be careful about when it comes to.

APZ said, omg, I've wasted my money on matchmaking. Sure have girl.

Someone said, check the question box. No girl, I just checked the chat.

One of the things that I think is important to when you're dating an Indian man is you have to understand that Indian individuals can be very racist cash system that you can be the bombest black woman in the world, but some of the family just will not accept you because of your tone.

That's number one. Number two, a lot of these Indian men are trying to replace their overbearing mothers that did everything for them. Them Indian men are quite spoiled. It's similar to Jewish men and Italian men.

So don't think just because they have a similar tone to you that they're bad about it. That's why you don't really hear me talk a lot about Indian men. Yes, I've had some of my clients get with Indian men, but it's a hard road. Girl.

Jonesy said. Three kids where I know Girl didn't I snap back? Girl don't I snap back? Girl Curves. Girl.

Curves.

Someone said I'm sick of dating in France. Girl here's what I want you to do. If you're in France.

Put one. Put one app in London. Put one app in Amsterdam. You're welcome. You'll be married in a year. Anisa said. What can we expect if we join your programs?

So there's a lot of support in the program. So I have an online course of like 40 plus hours of content. I have, you know, at least 30 plus worksheets for you to fill out and get even more clarity on the subjects that we need to focus on. We do a dating strategy audit. So online we're going to help you understand, like what apps you should be on, what pictures you should use. We'll do a couple of editing rounds of your profile. I'm also going to give you my proprietary strategy of how to work the app so that the apps don't work. You Offline will help you understand.

Like what your flirt style is and how do you get in your main character energy and use that information to inform what sort of places you should go to to meet men out in the wild. Because you can't just go to some random place, honey. So this is the work that we do in the program. We have two group coaching programs. One, two group coach coaching calls every week. So this is where I just came from. On Tuesdays and Thursday nights. We also have a private Facebook group with around 250 black and brown women that are doing the same work that you're doing. A very non judgmental, safe and supportive community.

If you join the VIP program, you'll have one on one calls every week, personalized homework every week, and 24,7 direct access to me all day every day for any questions that you may have. So that's what this support looks like in the program. Yeah. And thank you all so much for the 20,000 likes. And tick tock, if anything that I'm saying is resonating with you, definitely tap, double tap, triple tap the screen. Alrighty.

Asa, do you believe in if it's real, it'll come back? Yes. Except for if when you guys separated it was abusive, then it shouldn't come back and you shouldn't let it come back.

Brianna said that they have lower testosterone. Yeah. Some of these black men.

Part of it is culture and society. Like we're just sitting around more. Part of it is.

Mary J. Use.

And like other things. So that's that.

Oh, Jen Mills said I work in urology. So small girl. She talked about those black men. Honey.

I think I'll do a video about this. Girl.

The black men already hate me, girl. Cuz I always tell y' all to date everybody and they think I'm saying don't date them. I'm just saying date everybody.

So girl with a little bit more hate.

On top of how much they already hate me. Girl, thank you so much for this hat and mustache. CC Gina, thank you so much for the seven Roses, girl.

Trilla said, how to know if you're being too picky. Well, I guess the question is just thinking about the apps. Out of 100 profiles, how many do you swipe right on or like or heart.