Dating Q and A 10-15-23

I forgot I was live. Betty. I was whispering to myself, I hope you all didn't catch any of that mess.

Hello, hello, hello, ladies. I hope you're doing well. Oh, my God, I am so gagged right now. I literally was talking to myself, girl, sometimes I. Yes, honey. Yes, honey.

Yes, Marie. Girl, I was talking about Doritos local tacos, girl. Because I got some Doritos local tacos, and I was just telling myself. I was like, I. In my life, I always think about y', all, and I'm always like, what did that? What do the ladies need to know? And I was just whispering to myself, that bitch, I want you to be a Doritos locals taco supreme, girl. I don't. I don't want you to be just a regular ass taco girl. Like, you want to be the most. Girl, that shit is delicious. You want to be delicious. Yeah. And, like, I'm just like, whatever you do, don't be a fucking normal ass taco girl. Yeah, like, be a Doritos Locos taco.

I am so gagged, and I am, like, high key, low key, so embarrassed because I'm, like, literally all day. I'm just like, girl, what do my girls need to know? What do my ladies need to know right now? Like, you know. Oh, Marie said with diablo sauce. Not. Not diablo sauce, bitch. Okay, now that's too much. That's too much, girl. Yeah, no, I'm just kidding. Oh, my God, I am so gagged right now. Yes, ma'. Am. Yes, ma'. Am. Oh, my God. I'm. I'm like this. So when I'm not chatting with my clients and being a dad of three, a suburban mother of three, I am literally thinking about y'. All. Yeah. So I hope y' all are doing well. Happy Sunday. I usually come on in the morning time, but, girl, my phone has been acting up lately, so I'm on my iPad now, and I'm here to answer your questions about love, dating, relationships, and men or women. Girl, we don't care. It's 2023, girl. We're living like, girl, get your life.

And I'm acting a fool per usual. So, yeah, if you have any questions.

You know, put your questions in the comments, and I will answer them in the order that I see them. Let me put a little music on, girl. I know it's not Sunday morning and the church is out of service, but, girl, I'm never out of service. So are we feeling. I think what I want to do is put on some neo soul.

Yes. Oh, my God, I am so gagged right now. I'm like. It's like when people are like, you're in your car and you're singing Rihanna and the girl next to you is like, girl, what. What are you giving? That's. That was the moment I was giving right now. Happy Sunday, Ailiac. Happy hello, Vicki's. Crack it up. The Y's crack it up. Hey, Alma. Good to see you. Happy Sunday. Hey, bunny. Simply Selena said, heard it all, girl. I'm not so. Not so.

Coco. Hey, girl. Hey, Christy. Ria Vori said, I said, huh? I know. That's right, girl. Brandy said, how to navigate a broken engagement, Girl, we're going to talk about that a little bit later. Right now.

I gotta recover.

Brienne, thank you so much for the heart me. Danielle said, not a normal taco. That's right. Marie said, with diablo sauce. Monet said, what gagged you, girl? Oh, my God. I don't even want to repeat it. Pluto Nian said, advice for girls in Ohio.

Girl. Not the girls. Not the girls of Ohio trying to get their life. Yeah. Advice for girls in Ohio.

Be patient.

And if you're a black girl in Ohio, you want to widen that radius. Yeah, you'll want to kind of get into a little bit of Pennsylvania. You'll want to get into Indiana. You want to get up to Detroit, girl. Yeah. Yeah. Nakara said, anwar, been a minute. Yes, ma'. Am. Dima said, premium tacos. That's right, girl. He said, my guy and I had a fight yesterday. Canceled our second date. Shaking my head. I'm so done. What did you have a fight about, girl?

Monet said, tell me about your worst date. Oh, God.

Girl, I'm gonna have to get back to you on that. I'm trying to think.

Yeah, girl, I haven't dated in over a decade.

Almost 15 years. So I have to, like, really wrap my brain around it. Chrissy said, not a normal taco. What about a Birria taco? Those are delicious, girl. Whatever taco you associate yourself with, you better get it.

Carolina, girl. Sss. Said, hey, y'. All. Hey, girl. Sassy Toya said, hey, hey, girl. When I said f love single era loading. I love that. Fairy said, tips on having a crush on someone at work, girl. Keep it. Keep it. Keep it at the crush level and focus on your love life outside of work, girl. Professional, professional, personal. Personal. Yeah. Marie said, how to approach your teenage kids questions about why you don't have a boyfriend.

Well, girl, what's the. What's the answer? What's the. What's the true T.

Answer that and then. And then I'll help you edit that.

Danny Woman rising said, I'm 34 and childfree. All the men on the apps either want kids or have kids. So frustrating advice. Well.

So do you want kids or not? That's my question.

Because if you want kids and they have kids, great.

If you don't want kids and they want kids, please understand that a lot of these men oftentimes will just want what you want if you're his woman.

Yeah.

Okay. This is getting me what I need. D said, every time you're live, I feel like I'm on FaceTime. You literally are. When I say in the most loving way, like, we're FaceTiming right now. Like, girl, are you getting ready for the night? Girl, are you putting on your face routine? Like, girl, where's the hyaluronic acid?

Are we giving our retinol what it needs to give? Where's the moisturizer? Girl, y' all should be. Y' all should be apping or y' all should be having a glass of wine or you all should be doing your face.

Oh, and by the way, for those of you that don't know me, I kind of came on here because I was a hot ass message. My name is Anwar White. I'm a dating coach for smart and successful black and brown women. I help them get into the best relationships of their life. Last week, I had three women get into amazing relationships. Today I had two women let me know that they got into relationships. One in dc, one in Atlanta. Even if you're living in Atlanta, please understand and know that it is very possible for you to get your guy. It's just going to take a little bit longer. Yeah. So if you want to do this, work with me and you feel like you're ready to do this, work with I. I consider myself one of the best dating coaches for black and brown women. Click the link in my bio and apply to schedule a call for me. Yeah. Otherwise, look in my bio. Like, I have my podcast, which is amazing. Last week I had the head of marketing for OkCupid on there, so definitely check that out. It's. We talk all about the apps.

This upcoming week.

I'm gonna talk about how to date a white man safely.

Girl, I don't know what's wrong with me. Girl, when I tell you that the black men in my DMs, girl, you would have thought I said.

White tea lives matter, girl.

But I didn't. Okay, let's Just get that clear. Okay. To the rescue. Said, are you happy DJ Envy going to jail? I am. Wait, girl, I don't even know what's happening with that. I literally don't. I'm so busy. Oh, and by the way, because many of you said I needed to watch Love is Fly because it's so messy, my partner and I were watching Love is Blind, and he was actually more interested in it than I was. I'm also watching Golden Bachelor, which I think you all should watch as well.

Okay. Cece Said, I had two dates with white men this week. So you have completed your Columbus Day challenge, and I'm very proud of you. Now, if you've completed your Columbus Day challenge in the comments, give me.

Two white men.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't give me that. Give me hashtag Noah's Ark. That's it, that's it, that's it. Now, also, girl, let me know how the dates went. Gorgeous. Kari said, hey, you got any dating advice for plus sized woman? Abby.

What is the advice? The advice is.

Literally take up space. I think so many curvier women are trying to shrink themselves, literally or figuratively. And you don't need to do that.

Number two, you need to have the supreme level of confidence. If you don't have Naomi Campbell confidence, you're not ready to date. No shade.

Number three, don't let any man touch your body. Don't let anyone, any man, say anything about your body. He is trying to butter you up. He is trying to.

He thinks that you're probably insecure about your body, so he's gonna, like, say this so that you think that he's. Oh, he's different. He sees me and he loves me and all that. Yeah, girl, he's probably buttering you up. He thinks that you don't give a about your body, so he thinks that he can do whatever he wants with it. And this is for not all men, but I would say it's like 90, 95 of the guys out there. That's why he says something about your body. He's out blocked. He touches your body on the first date out. Literally walk out of the date.

It's not going anywhere. Nothing good can come of it. Yeah.

Hope that helps.

And if you only went on one date with a white man, then just give me hashtag white.

Noah.

Not Noah's Ark, just Noah. Girl.

Let me see what's going on. Blah, blah. Said, what do I say when he asks me on a date and then takes forever to make plans if he doesn't make plans. Within a week, he's out.

When he says, oh. When he says, oh, I'd love to take you out, great, I'm available on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, that's the answer. It's not just, oh, cool. Okay. I love your advice because I've been able to handle the oddball so much better ever since. What is. Who is the oddball, girl? Oh.

Mahogany said. Anwar, how would you deal with smear campaigns from a man from your past? Realize that he's a narcissist and he's trying to get allies. Yeah. Here's the thing, girl. The people who know you know, you realize that not everyone's gonna like you. And some people are gonna believe him, but you've gotta be able to understand who you. That. Who you are and rock with that. So here's the thing. When people come to you and they're like, oh, I heard this about you. Just let him know, oh, no, he's a narcissist. He's trying to put some sort of smear campaign on me because he just. He can't handle that we're not together, like, so nonchalantly. Right? If you're like, oh, my God, I can't believe he's saying this about me. No, just like, oh, girl, he's a narcissist, girl. He's trying to get people against me. Don't worry about it. I'm not tripping. Give. Give that energy, because that person will tell everyone else.

They'll do your bidding for you. You don't have to go to each and every person being like, he's doing a smear campaign. He's doing a smear campaign. He's. No, literally, you need to do one or two people. They'll tell the rest of them. They won't even give him life, girl. Yeah, Lovely. Said tap the screen, y', all, and show some love. Yes, honey. Tap, double tap, triple tap the screen. Let's get it popping up in here. It already is. Lock, spin. Said your skin is glowing, girl. I had a. My friend, my best friend in the world who I went to boarding school with. I was in New York.

Last weekend. And she's like, girl, you need a facial. And I was like, girl, which one? No, I was like, oh, my God, thank you, girl. Because, you know, when you get so busy, I'm busy as head of my family, I'm busy with this wildly successful business that I have. Like, today, two women told me that they got into amazing relationships. Last week, there were three women that Got into amazing relationships. She's like, you need to treat yourself. And it's like, I tell all my clients, you have to treat yourself every week. I was so busy, I was in New York doing a talk that I couldn't treat myself. And then when I went to the esthetician and she gave me the facial, I was like.

She was like giving me all of my tea. And girl, girl, I didn't know that I was putting all of these harsh ass chemicals on my skin, girl. I was like, that glycolic acid, girl, that ordinary gifts. I was putting that on every day. I didn't know that it was like toxic. And then I was also putting on that salicylic acid from Paula's Choice, thinking I was doing good for my skin, girl. She was like, it's giving Armageddon. It's giving, you know, Hiroshima, girl. So I had to like cut it. So it's been a lot of moisturizing.

Dad said, omg. Hi. Hi, girl. Britain Nelson said, how long to wait for chemistry to build good combos? We have fun, but it's giving friend vibes. Two to three weeks. After that, he's out. If. If nothing increases.

Monet, thank you so much for the Five Roses. I appreciate it. Janelle said, what a surprise. You just made my night. Thank you, girl. Hello, Mona. Jay said, hey, girl. Hey. Hey, girl. Hey. Hey, girl. Hey. Jay. Kitty said, what is the deal with men in Houston? Oh, well, Houston is the second hardest city to date in, in the US the first is Atlanta, of course.

What's wrong with Houston? Houston has no love middle class meaning, like the guys are either like doctors or engineers or they're bartenders. And that's no shade to bartenders. It just is. Like you want somebody to provide for you and to have a, a specific, like, schedule. And sometimes that doesn't happen. And also a lot of the guys in Houston, in my experience, I've been doing dating coaching for 13 years now. Many of those guys couldn't cut it in Atlanta, so they came to Houston to be a big fish. And they're literally, they're not even silver medalists, they're bronze medalists thinking that they're gold medalists. Do you know what I mean? So you have a lot of people that are overhyping and overestimating themselves in, in the Houston market.

Ty Batista said, I absolutely love your energy. Great dating advice always. Thank you, girl. Rafia said, Bonjour. Bonjour. Sababian girl.

Ria said, I've been texting, calling With a guy for over a week. Combos great. But he only makes vague plans to meet if he hasn't taken. If he hasn't, like, set a date in a week, he's out. Girl, we need to have stricter boundaries.

K said, oh, is that the single ring? No, girl, this is my engagement and my wedding ring. Double double girl, double T. Double your fun.

And by the way, if there are dating coaches out here that you're listening to that are not married. No shade. But realize that.

They haven't been able to make it for themselves, so they might not know the totality of what it requires to be in a successful, committed relationship. Yeah, something to think about.

Giselle said, guy met wants our second date to be a month later without explanation. Dumb. Just let him know if I'm still single at that time, please reach out to me then. Yeah, and then stop talking to him.

Cece said, do you think Hinge is worth paying for? Hinge for black girls is like.

Fifth grade.

The work gets harder and nobody's checking for you.

And it sucks. But you're so smart and you don't understand what's wrong. You're like, yeah, it's like fifth and sixth grade, girl.

And you're like, why are all these white girls getting their life and I'm not? Yeah, girl, that's Hinge. Hinge is fifth and sixth grade. Jada said just had an amazing day with one of my colonizing subjects. He's already fully invested. Yes, girl. Reparations. Tea, honey, honey, you're doing more work than Malcolm X ever did.

Oh, girl, I started out a mess. I'm gonna continue a mess, and I will end this. Live a mess. Yes. D said, we got into it because I made a joke and he called me a brat. Okay, got it. We don't like people calling us names. That's a no. No. That's giving elementary school. He may not be ready for a relationship. Yeah.

No way. Maya said, is it okay to shoot your shot? In what way do you want to shoot your shotgirl? That's my question.

Marsha Reyes son said, hi, love. Tell me you saw the Cheesecake Factory date video, cuz. What? Insane. No, girl, I do this work every day, so a third of my clients feel that exact same way. But please understand that. Like, yeah, she wasn't feeling the Cheesecake Factory, but many all sound the exact same way when y' all talking about coffee dates.

Danny Woodman. Ray said, no, I don't want kids, and I don't want to be a stepmom. Got it. There are men out here that also don't want kids and don't want to be. Don't want to be fathers. It's just a lower amount, probably closer to around 10 or 20%. So you just have to find those people, right?

DG said, Men are so mean to me after they get to know me. Why is that, girl? Well, here's what I think. You're either too nice or you're too mean.

Meaning judgmental. Yeah. And they get offended and they get butt hurt, and so they come for you. Which one do you think it is? Keto J. Nick said, what do you think about long distance dating? Would you recommend it? Yes, girl. But not everyone's gonna survive it. And you have to realize it.

Jada said Amor told us to colonize these white men, and I took it seriously. Honey. She. Honey. Ms. Jada got an A for the day, honey. She was front row in the class.

In said, thanks for the advice on my word crest. He approached me at a gathering and we talked for an hour.

Cute.

I think it has to stay from there unless you leave the company and he leaves the company.

That's what I would say. But again, grown ass woman. You get to live your life the way you want to. Yeah.

Moody chick said, literally flossing and listening to this live. I know that's right, girl.

Who has a water pickup in here? Girl, why did I not know about water picks until like a year and a half ago? Y' all have. If y' all don't know, get a water pick. Get that shit out of your teeth.

It's like, where was I? Where was my mama.

Killing me? Jaslyn said, I went on my first date with a man off of a dating app. It went really well. Good, girl. It's not as scary as you thought. J said, omg. I thought I was the only one who thought that.

Earthly awakening set you to go. Thank you, girl. If y' all want to work with me, if you're ready to do this work, definitely apply to book a consultation call. Right? It's the only way that you'll be able to work with me. My, my, my ladies are killing the game. So many wins happening every Sunday. I ask in my Facebook group, which has 160 women in there, what is your win? How are you winning? Yeah.

Let me see what they said. Chrome.

Got so many wins.

Girl, I just exhaled. You have to exhale.

I can't even find the. I can't find it here. So many, so many posts. So many wins. Okay, let Me see what y' all are talking about. Britney said, currently doing skincare, friend. Good.

Good. Kayla said, literally just got out of the shower enjoying my skincare as we watch this. Yes, honey. Jinjin says, does the 90 day roll ever really work? But the 90 day. Some of the coaches out here have a 90 day rule for sex and have a 90 day rule for kissing. Girl, that kissing. Y' all can miss me with that kissing. No kissing for 90 days. Girl, I would starve.

Parched.

It's how I get air.

So in terms of 90 day rule for sex, the interesting thing is that it. I don't like to put a time on it because.

Every interaction is different with a man. So you might have two dates a week, and y' all might be ready to be exclusive within, let's say six weeks. Right. Or two months. So 60 days. So you really want to wait another month before you get busy with your man? Don't do that. Right. And especially for women that are, let's say, 45 plus, sometimes that exclusivity happens much quicker because y' all both know each other, know each, like, well, you know yourself well. So there's no, like, BS about it. So.

I'm not about the timing of it, but for a good amount of individuals, 35 and under, it aligns with exclusivity. Yeah.

Okay, let me see what the questions. What the questions are giving.

Annalisa said, not how to date a white man safely. Girl.

Girl, here's the gag.

Some of y', all, it's like, some of y' all feel like dating a white man is like running across a freeway. Girl, I'm just here to give you that crosswalk.

Yeah.

Lisa Cooley said, hashtag Noah's art. Get it, girl, get it. I'm so happy about that. D said, the white man here are rednecks and they scare me. Gingers do too. What do I do? Well, girl, here's the gag. You want a redneck to give you a redneck.

That's what I want from you. Okay? Come back next week with a redneck. Girl.

Oh, my God. Nisa said it went amazing. Girl, I'm so happy for you.

Truth. Truth. And Nia said, what do I do if my new boyfriend keeps canceling on me last minute? Well.

Girl, it's too much. He doesn't have time for you.

He doesn't know how to handle this. And was he doing this during the courtship? Because here's the thing. In my program, they do that twice. They're out.

That's all I Gotta say, Angela Williams, thank you so much for the eleven roses.

Hold on, girl. I'm like, I gotta catch up.

Let me see what's going on. D Said, I really like this dude, but his only child syndrome is really bad. I had to end it. Girl, please. Yes.

Britney Nelson, thank you so much for the rose. What do you use for moisturizer? Girl? Well, I use. I use a lot of cerave. I have a.

Moisturizer that has hyaluronic acid, and then I also have one that has some SPF in it, and then I mix it in with my retinol.

Let me see what's going on.

Let me see where the questions are. Candace said, what does it mean when a man tells you he's smitten by you? That mean he like, he. That mean he likes you, girl. He likes you.

Yeah.

He likes you, girl. Donnie Tyrus said, what's up with Baltimore and Goodman? Girl.

I don't have a lot of my clients getting guys that live in Baltimore. I will tell you that.

Now. The DMD area, The suburbs. Yes, ma'. Am. The cities. No, ma'. Am. No, ma'. Am. Girl.

Oh, my God, girl, What was that? What was that show? The Wire. Honey.

Honey, you know, girl, you want to give the wire in your dating life. Lenny said, why is Atlanta so hard to date? Atlanta is really hard to date because there aren't a lot of eligible black men.

There are a lot of black men, but the ones that are eligible and ready for a relationship, they got 20, 30 women chasing after them so they don't have to give you life.

And they're treating most of these women like and getting what they can out of them, because they can, because they got 30 of them on their roster.

I tell all my clients in Atlanta, we're gonna have to date other places. Not. Not just in Atlanta. Okay.

If you want to learn how to date in some of these places, definitely.

Let me know.

God, let me see. My client just told me. She. Oh, my God, they're so cute.

They're so cute. Oh, my God, this couple is so cute. That's what I gag on, girl. This is what I do when I'm a dating coach, girl. I gag on all the pictures that they send me with them in their boo. And then sometimes I'll be like. They'll be talking to a guy, and I'll be like, oh, my God, girl. Send me his picture then. Then she sends me their picture. His picture, girl. Be like, oh, girl, he's fine, girl. He is fine, girl.

And he. Girl, they. They be pulling them, girl. They be pulling them, girl. They pull the ce, girl.

Yes. Girl. Yesterday my client went out with a CEO of a major tech company. Girl. I'm talking.

Net worth.

2, 3 digits in the millions.

Yeah.

Tracy said, can you date unemployed? You can do whatever you want to do. I wouldn't suggest it.

Then you would be dating as a little girl and not as a grown woman in her and her grown woman status.

True love. Chichi said he bought. I think you meant bought me a laptop and communication job from 8 to 3. What should I do, girl? Use that laptop and start chatting with more men.

Let's. Coco Cure said, working on being more firm with my boundaries. Here's the thing. In my program, we work on boundaries. We work on vulnerability. We work on actually you dating with a strategy. Because most of y' all don't have a strategy when you're dating in the chat.

If you don't have a strategy, give me nostrategy. If you don't have strategy, you won't be successful in dating. I teach my clients how to date with strategy. That's why they're killing the game. I just talked to one of my girls in New York, girl.

She has a fine doctor in her gold medal category. She has a fine white boy as her silver medal is. And she has a fine NFL football player, her bronze medalist.

We call it Olympic dating. In my program.

You have to have a full podium. Yes.

Moving on. Angela says the music is definitely a vibe. As it should be, honey. As it should be.

Yeah. Tasha said, thoughts about getting back with an ex after he's been in therapy depends on how long it's been and what the conditions of the breakup was or were. Seth Brad said, I'm having trouble finding guys I'm attracted to.

You know, it's really interesting if you have an issue. Here's what I've noticed in being a dating coach for 13 years. If you're having an issue finding people that are attractive, it's often because you don't find yourself attractive and you're so hard on your own looks that like you're hypercritical of everybody else's looks. Let me ask you this. Do you think his looks are gonna matter 40 years from now?

Are you gonna be more concerned that he has a heart and he's loyal and he's taking you to all of your doctor's appointments?

Tiffany said, you jamming with the music, though. I try, girl.

Chelsea said, just redownloaded hinge. Let the games begin.

Lydia Michelle said, as A fifth grade teacher. I find it hilarious. Girl, Hinge is the worst. And the gag is that Hinge was the best during the pandemic. Girl, these apps change. Like, you don't know what.

Sunny Love said. Met a great guy from Hinge. Still chose the emotionally unavailable man over him. Girl, get in my program.

Girl, stop. Girl, don't admit this. Don't admit that. Don't admit that. I'm kidding. Girl, we've all had that pattern. Girl, I'm sure he had charisma. Girl, I'm sure he had nerve and all of that. And.

Girl, we got to break those patterns. And here's what I want to offer to y'. All. When you have patterns like this, it's because there's deeper healing that needs to happen. This is of the work that we do in my program. We talk about those inner child wounds. Yeah. We talk about the fact that you going for emotionally unavailable men because your mom was emotionally unavailable, so you took on her model. We also talk about the fact that your dad was also emotionally available. And when you chase these unavailable emotional men, you are chasing your dad's love. And we find ways to heal from that. So if you want to do that work, and not everybody does, book the call so we can do that work when we can do the healing. Girl, because here's the thing. You can get into a relationship tomorrow, but, girl, if you ain't healed, all that shit's gonna come up in your relationship and break you all up anyway.

Yeah.

Pierrot said, going on 11 months, abstinent. How do I reenter the dating scene in Chicago? This is the same way you would be doing if you were throwing your thang each and every way. It does. Girl, doesn't you just need to let these men know what your tea is? The underlying premise of your question is that you would have to change what you're doing to date. And what I'm saying is that you don't in a more serious way.

Yeah.

Gabrielle said consistent communication has been an issue. I brought it up three times. Should I drop him? Girl, if you had to bring it up three times. Girl, yes. If he didn't do it better the first time, he's out. Girl, I call it one and done.

Gr. If you. Girl, if you continue to do this after the second time he does, your credibility is shot. Yeah. The Lydia Michelle said, how do you let him know the door is wide open? Well, number one, what door? And number two, who are we talking about? And number three, give me more context. What is the situation.

Nazira said, I don't like coffee dates that don't lead to lunch afterwards.

Okay, girl.

I don't know about you, but I can't have coffee and then lunch and do X, Y and Z. You want to.

You want to just see, is this someone that I laugh with and do I want to learn more about him? That's what the first date is all about. In person, you can't. You can't evaluate that over the phone. There's a certain energetic exchange that happens in the physical realm. Yeah.

K said. I meant someone who isn't. I maybe met someone who's amazing but physically attracted to him. But he is everything I want. If I translate this sounds like he has everything you want, but you're not physically attracted to him. If he does. If your attraction does not grow in the next two to three weeks, he's gotta go.

He said, how much time is sufficient for a second date? If the first date went well, one week.

Ldev said, Metasaf, proclaim Italian Alpha. Who spoil? Who wants to spoil? Me. How do I respond? Not used to this. Easy. Whatever he says, just say, see.

Piacere.

Which means yes.

And or with pleasure.

Yeah, I lived in Milan for. When I was a young whippersnapper, honey, I had all those. All those Italian men gagging. Honey, there was a moment where in my head, I really thought that every Italian man was bisexual. And I'm not saying yours is. I'm just saying I just had so much power and my head was so big because, girl, I was bagging the finest of the fine. So, girl, these. Just FYI, these Italian men are checking for you black women. You better check back.

Manny Said just got here. But your thoughts on ghosting, girl, get. Be more specific. Honey, sometimes these questions are like, what are your thoughts on global warming? Girl, what are your thoughts on the meaning of life? Girl.

Let me see. What. What else is going on?

Holmes, by Donna Said, what's your advice for a widowed woman of a certain age who wants to date many men? Slash, no relationship is this widowed woman of a certain age you, girl.

My advice would be do it and have fun and get your life.

L dub said your advice works. Amwar, thank you for your push. Thank you for the push. You're so welcome, girl. You're so welcome. And here's the gag. I know it works because I have two or three women every week getting into amazing relationships, paid or unpaid in my program. Yeah, that's the gag.

I see y' all have booked some. Some obsessions. Honey, y' all ready to get this? Y' all ready to get this? These men, honey.

I know that's right. Because they are. They. Especially now, girl, they are ripe for the pick and grow. What happens during the winter time is their testosterone goes up and they are on the search. They are on the hunt. They are on the prowl, honey. That's what cuffing season is all about. So please understand and believe you have all the power here. And if you are not seizing that power, girl, what are we doing? What are we doing?

Chelsea said, a white man on hinge just told me he loves my look and I'm a perfect partner to crash a wedding with girl. Crash with girl. Wedding crashers, part due. Crash with him, girl.

Caitlyn said, I suggested dinner. He told me he only does drinks for the first day. Is that cringe or. No, not cringe at all.

No. Let him. Y' all need to be in observation mode. Don't tell him what he needs to do. Men don't like to be told what to do.

See what he comes up with. And if it doesn't feel good, then we suggest. Yeah. Always press. I say amor is on one tonight. Am I? I feel like I'm on. On the ones and twos every night, girl. But.

Kia Kia said, have you done oil pulling? Yeah, girl, I have done oil pulling, but that gets really intense. I feel like there's so much bacteria in my mouth that when I spit it out, I almost want to throw up.

Simani said, do you help women find Christian men? I help women find amazing and great men. Sometimes they're Christian, sometimes they're not. Yeah. I want you to be careful about that label because there are a lot of Christian men that say that they're Christian and haven't been to church or only go to church on Easter. But they will tell you that, and they will. And then these men will check a box and then y' all thinking, he's a good guy and he's not. Not. Most of these guys in the church are not great guys. Most of them are narcissistic.

And toxic.

Yeah. So something to be aware of and to think about. Yeah.

Caitlyn said, I sent a rose to a guy on Hinge with a message. We match. Should I wait for him to send a message? Well, here's the tricky part, girl. You've been doing so much of the pursuing. He's going to expect you to pursue. So because you've been pursuing like a dude, dude, you're going to have to at least send that first message. I think.

Tracy said age scale for 45 plus, plus 10 years, minus 5. Now, if you're a younger youngie girl, if you're 55 acting like you're 40, then you want to do it the other way, plus 5 years, minus 10 years.

Marnie said, hi, Amar. Hey, girl.

Jane said, is awkwardness a sign of you? You're sign you're incompatible. If these guys are awkward, like if they're nervous around you, it's because they really like you. You want somebody to like you so much that they're freaking out.

Give those guys a chance. Now if it doesn't smooth itself out, step.

Oh my God, there's so much. There's so many no strategies. And like, as a dating coach, it kills me because here's the thing, someone said lost without a strategy, girl. That was not the instructions, girl. Follow the instructions.

You would never go to your job without strategy. You would get fired. So you. Dating without strategy is wild. You're getting fired in your dating life right now.

Yeah, y' all need to book that call.

Please book it this year, honey, because of 2024. My shit's already expensive and going up even more because the ladies are getting their guys. Yeah.

Gotta get on the strategy, girl.

Brooklyn Born Seven said there's no full podium at 60. There is grow. There is grow. You got a golden bachelorette, no shade.

Gotta have some more. I'm more concerned with finding someone generous and kind. If he's kind, he will be generous. Focus on the kind.

Butterfly said, a man's looks wouldn't matter 40 years from now, but a woman's will. No, not 40 years from now, girl.

You think, you think these 60 and 70 year old men are gagging on their partner's looks?

No, they're gagging because he knows that she's down for him.

Yeah. He says it's true that conferences are the new dating scene. Like convention seminars. It's not new. It's new to you, girl, because maybe you don't have a strategy, but we people been doing this. Now here's the gag, girl. I don't. Everyone's saying, oh my God, go to Afro Tech. Oh my God, go to Black and Tech, girl. Do you know how many women are going to be there trying to snatch them up? Somebody. You got to go to these, you got to go to these.

More general and tier B and tier C conferences, girl. Don't do the A ones. The A ones, you'll get lost in the sauce. And only a certain few will get their guy.

And that's real tea.

Tazzy said, hinges. Algorithm is so racist. Don't even bother. Yeah, girl. Hinge is like that girl and that white girl in fifth grade that doesn't like you because you're smart and black.

Girl, I'm just. I don't like Hinge anymore. Maybe I'll like her next year, but for right now, we're not friends. We're not talking.

Lachey said, guy in northern California asked me to visit, but he's not offering to pay for my travel. Should I say something? No. Well, yeah. Set a boundary and say, oh, I don't. I don't really travel to men. I would prefer if they come to me and see what he does.

Pat Rice said, love the hoodie. Thank you, girl. Thank you, girl, so much. I am so about. There's this place called Winners, which is basically like a. Like a TJ Maxx or Ross, but it's like, this is like Nike.

I'm like, I love winners right now. It's like my everything.

Brandy said, did you talk about broken engagements? No, I didn't. Thank you so much for reminding me. Oh, my gosh. I have a whole. In my program, I have an entire breakup plan.

Let me pull this up. Let me help my sister out.

So this is the breakup plan that I have for my clients in case they break up. So the first step, you want to go no contact, minimum four weeks, block on everything. Because you need time to shift your identity from someone who is not a fiance to someone who's a single woman. And you're going to need to reach out to at least one friend for support. Okay? That's the first step. Now there are four other steps for you to do, but I'm so sorry that that happened to you. It sucks a lot, but also, it's for the best.

Yeah.

Tiger A. Thank you so much for the six Rol.

Princess said, what if a guy says he loves me the first day of talking? Block him immediately.

Queen of Roses has coffee, then dinner. Lunch is too early. Yes, ma'. Am.

Ingrid said, when is it okay to give an ex another chance? When.

Nothing happened.

The first time around. Like, he didn't do anything horrible. And it's been some time, at least six, six plus months. So, for example, if things just fade away. But you guys had some sort of connection and it's not like, oh, he stopped talking to me. Like, most of the time you need to actually stop talking to him just because you. You're.

I see you made it. Said, can you talk about having too many good options Compare and contrast. And you know, you should be working with at least with three and continuing to meet new and different people. But every week you're gonna have to evaluate them.

And if people are slipping, like, you need to have four, and if somebody is in fourth place for two consecutive weeks, he needs to be out.

Pat Rice, thank you so much for the heart. Me and the three roses.

Dominique said, haven't dated in four years. Any advice? Yeah, girl. Date.

Girl. Even if it's a shitty date, get it out of the way. You know how some girls, like, will have sex with anyone just to get the V card out of the way? That's what's gonna happen. Need to happen for your dating life. You're just gonna have to get the first one out of the way, girl. There's no. No shake for the V girls. I was that girl.

I'm saying that because I think that there might be a mental block, right? Like you have to actually have the physical evidence that you can date and then things will become easier for you. Yeah. Italia Marks said, I need to start having my notebook on hand when watching these lives. No, you need to join one of my programs so that, like, you can really do this work. I'm being flippant here and I'm just giving you. I'm giving you like 5, 10% of the real deal. Holyfield. I'm so glad that that's, like, amazing for you. But, like, if y' all really want to do this work, work, definitely join one of my programs. Click the link in my bio and apply to have a consultation call with me. That's the only way that you'll be able to work with me. Cuz I talk with the women who come to my program. Cuz I don't accept everyone. This is like a safe space. And so I have to make sure that the women that are in the program are also a safe space. Yeah.

Rocky. Maria said, there he goes blushing about Italy.

Eunice said, omg. What are your thoughts on women posting their bodies on Instagram? I have some basic beach pics up.

I wouldn't do it. You think that guys aren't trying to get to your Instagram? That's why so many of them ask for your ig. If you have Bodi on there, they're gonna think that you're a hoe and they're gonna treat you as such. You get to do whatever you want though, girl. But that's why I'm like, I never give any guys a social unless you've had at least three Physical dates with them.

That's. That's my. That's my role.

Girl. Hold on. I got one of my coaches on here. I think I'm gonna stay on for another 30 minutes. Okay, good. Okay, wait.

Let's.

Meet at 10:30pm.

All right, girls, what's the tea? What's the tea? What's the tea? What's the tea? What's the tea?

I see you made it. Said I have two great options ready to move forward with a relationship both successful and caring. You're gonna have to compare and contrast them. One of the things that I do with my clients is I have them get really clear on what their top five needs are. And once they're able and their guy has to score either a 9 or a 10 on each of those needs, and if he doesn't, you may not be exclusive with him. We actually did this exercise over. Over the last two weeks, and it's been, like, transformational for so many of my clients. Yeah. So I would suggest the same thing for you. Figure out what your top five needs are and rate each of them on a scale from 0 to 10 and see who's really killing.

Dominique. How many men should I entertain at the same time? Girl, first you were telling me that you don't. You haven't dated in four years, and now you're telling me how many men? Girl, don't go from 0 to 100. Girl, that's how you get whiplash.

Girl, start in the residential zone and go 20, 25 miles per hour. Yeah, start with one. But in general, again, Olympic dating, you want to have a gold medalist, a silver medalist, and a bronze medalist. 3. That you're physically dating, then. Then stop.

Semi Dime said, where are the smart men, though? Girl working.

Girl creating business.

Duchess said, I found interest from men. Definitely on the rise and more serious. Winter is coming. Yes, honey, winter is coming. And for all the girls who had a really fun time during Columbus Day challenge, please understand that this winter is white boy winter.

Hashtag white boy winter. So, girl, your men better look like the snow falling on the ground, at least a good portion of them that you're dating. Okay? You hear me?

Oh. Missy G Said, found mine.

Honey. Tiffany said, snow season in effect.

Diamond said, I don't know about that, Anwar. Girl, you don't have to know about it. Girl, I'm telling you about it. So now you know.

White boy winter. Girl, all I'm saying is get one in your roster. Am I saying you have to marry one? No, I'm saying get one in Your roster and see how it goes. Yeah. Yes, honey. P. Rose at White Boy Winter. Yes. Fiona said, white Walker, not white Walker, girl. Not that.

Oh. Nikia said, nope. Okay, girl.

Do what you must, girl. Do what you must.

Kimberly said, I may need to date a white man. Do it, girl. Have one of them on your roster. Let's talk about it. Let's see it. You better get you one of these.

Paris said, I'm gagged at white boy winter. Why? Hashtag wbw.

How do. How do you even start? Girl, you gotta go outside with no jacket on, just like they do.

Oh, Lord, give me the strength. I cannot. I can't. I cannot.

Cora Rena said, am. Are most of the men in Minnesota Minnesotans?

Oh. Marie said, hashtag snow Foxes. Oh, girl, not the straight hat.

Not the straight hat, girl.

Kimberly said, why do you think we should date a white man? I think you should date everybody. I just say it for the gag because there's so many women that, like, they think I'm. Girl, they think I'm cursing at their mother when I say, date a white man, girl. So I keep on saying it so that they can get immune to it and understand that it is a very normal thing to date men of all different backgrounds. Yeah.

Yes, honey. Monica Denise said, freeze your way to dating, girl. Yes. No jacket on. Girl, here's the thing. This is what they're gonna do, girl. You go outside with no jacket on, and he's gonna say, aren't you cold? You say, yeah, warm me up, baby. And you know what they're gonna do? They're gonna warm it up. Chris.

Yes, honey. I want capris in the winter. I want sandals in the winter. I want all of it. Honey.

Rocky said you're awkward and I love it.

Yes, honey. Madison said, I went to Aspen and ran into so many older.

White men. I know. That's right, girl.

Court said, I saw one of your videos that said bumble was where it's at. And you're right, girl. I know, girl. 70, 80% of my clients have gotten their guy on bum off a bumble.

Tia said that was Cap, though. It literally was cap. You're right.

Pat Rice said, not no jacket. You know black women be cold all the time. I know, girl. Y' all go into the frozen food section. Not even frozen food, girl. You go into the. The produce section, y' all freezing.

Mito said, high key. White men have treated me better than black men. Cry now.

Marie said I need an Asian man. Well, girl, I guess you. I guess you need to Go you got girl, you wait till the spring girl, wait till the spring.

I could be.

Okay. I'll be a Chris or Ian to ruin your life. It'll be a Chris or Ian to ruin your life.

Really? Has that been your lived experience or has it been a Devonte.

And a Sean? A black Sean, not a white one.

Queen of Roses said, his name is Anwar White for a reason. I'm trying to tell you, honey.

Missy said, I heard Middle Eastern only date you for a little. That hasn't been my experience, chick. Monet said, I want a habibi. Yeah, girl, you're gonna have to wait for that. That week that is unseasonably warm. And you think summer is here, but it's still spring.

Asia in the spring. Noted, said Lady Lovett. Yeah, honey, the gag is that the, the Asian men come out like cherry blossoms.

Do white men love darker skinned women? They do, girl. They. They can't stand the light skinned girls. Light skinned girls in the chat tell the, tell the black girls, the darker skinned girls, the medium brown girls, how much these white guys are not checking for you.

Lydia Michelle, thank you so much for the seven roses.

As you said, life ruined are universal. I guess. So.

Rage yourself at lmao, right, Anwar? It's definitely Devonte. Girl, why did that name come out of my mouth so easily? There is a reason.

Oop. Yeah. Lol. There's a difference between Sean S e a n versus Sean S h a W n. Sure is.

Oh. Someone said S h a U N for sure will ruin your life. Mm.

Athena said, how do you get the strategy? You can work with me in one of my coaching programs or you can.

Or you can. You can get my dating strategy starter course. It's in the link in my bio.

Mira Wu said, white is right. We get it. No, girl, why is right is most of the time wrong as hell. But sometimes. All right.

Diamond said, white men are paying him, y'. All. Girl, I wish. I surely do wish.

I don't want their. I don't want their. Their blood money.

Lady Michelle, thank you so much for the three roses. Deline said, okay, I think dark skinned women are so beautiful. And they are.

And they are Jamaican flower. Light skinned girl said, yep. Not checking for me. It's true. It's true.

Taz, you say yep. White men don't check for me, girl. They don't check for the light skinned girls.

Kia said, I'm light skinned and I never get attention from white men.

Justice said, I don't mind dating white men, but the ones that be liking me. Be giving hood. Don't give. Don't what? What? What kind of hood?

What kind of hood? Girl.

Girl, you have. Girl, you're gonna have to explain that one. Girl, Alabama hood or be more hood.

Raki said the light skinned delegation agrees. They like the brown girls.

Administrative healer said. So wait, who is checking for the light skin and medium browns again? Girl, most people are checking for the light skinned girls. I'm not worried about them.

I don't think anybody else is worried about them.

Who checks for the light skin the most? Probably the. The dark skinned black guys.

Who self hate themselves. Yeah. Tiff said we get skipped all day. Yep. Honey, skip it. Skip it. Remember that commercial? That's what they give the light skinned girls. That's what the white guys give the white light skinned girls.

He said, I've never dated a white man and this challenge has terrified me.

Monica said there's hood and then there's hood.

Yeah. Girl, I just, I don't know. Girl. Girl, never go for the white chocolates, girl.

Never.

Never. You saw Travis Kelce. He was he. Girl, he was a white chocolate. Girl. It's most of the time it's performance and now he's in his. It's this hick era with his 70s porn stash and everything. Girl, let Taylor have him. Girl.

Gotta have some more said. And why I need you to call me. Why? Girl.

Yes. Girl, skip it. Were fun until you got skipped.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah. Never go for the white chocolate. Yes. Justice Kennedy, you might as well just date a black man. For sure.

For sure.

Anyway, let me see what time it is. All right. I got about a good, good 10 minutes before I gotta meet up with one of the coaches on my team. Honey, we got a whole team of amazing coaches that get you together on my. Oh.

In my program. If y' all want to do this work now, we're kikiing now. We're having a good ass time. Time. But we also get to heal. We also get to learn how to date and have fun in the meantime. And that's what this program is all about. Yeah.

So.

Anyway.

Yes. I think maybe tomorrow I will talk about white boys, white boy winter in a video. If I do, y' all need to comment like share save. Because TikTok is kind of mini shadow banning me usually. I used to get 50, 000 views a video. Right now I'm in the teens, honey. Like barely getting to 20 0.

Zero. Yeah. So y' all better come through. All right.

Morning glory. Says, I love my Mexican man. But what's it your experience with white men and Latinas?

Girl.

Good tea. Good tea. Missy said, you're at 30k. News to me, girl. News to me. Oops.

Lea said, they must not want us colonizing white men. Yeah, honey, they don't want it.

Queen of Rosa said it's because of Tik Tok shot. Well, should I be selling white men on the TikTok shop, then?

I don't know, girl.

I don't know, girl.

Girl, reverse, reverse, reverse, reverse, reverse, reverse, reverse. I got a. Girl. Colonize these white men, literally.

Library said, I'll buy one if you selling them.

Casey said, take it back now, y'. All, one hop this time.

Oh, my gosh. Might as well sell them, because that's how I'm gonna get somebody. It's. Wait.

Wait. Stephanie, you need to stop.

Right now.

Please. Tiffany, Lizzy said I'm using my Tik Tok Shop coupon. Yes, honey, 30% off.

Oh, my gosh.

That's a gag, girl. Girl, I. Okay, girl.

Oh, my gosh.

Mama Mayhem said they're selling white man? Yeah, girl, I'm gonna be selling them tomorrow.

Somebody said cap, girl. Somebody said cap, Honey.

It sure is.

Shukri said, bundle them with one of those detangle brushes. So, girl, could you imagine the brush and the white man? Girl, what else would you need?

Got a lot of people saying they're gonna buy one. Honey, they say you take Cash App? No, girl.

No, I don't. But I do take Zell.

Oh. Bellatrix said Whole Foods of white men. I can't. Why not? Girl, Whole Foods is literally filled with white men that are trying to be bought. Lady Michelle, thank you so much for the hand hearts. Oh, my God. Look at this money. Lg. Yes, honey. Save your money for these white men that I'm about to sell. Katrina said, put it on layaway, not Kmart. Back to school shopping layaway.

Library Mouse said, apple Pay. That's more like it. That's more like it.

Oh, my God, Y' all are a mess. Anika, thank you so much for the finger heart.

Justice Kennedy said, child, this white man trying to talk to me.

He'S fine. But he had caught red flag.

Girl, it's. It's a blue flag, which is a red flag. Brown skin.

People saying, run, girl, don't run too fast. You don't know what that cop is going to do to you. Girl, walk slowly. Walk backwards very slowly.

Katrina said, lots of white men in Walmart. Girl.

Your sister Casey said white men In Walmart. Sis, be for real, girl. We're not date. We're not. We're not dating men at Walmart. Not anymore.

No. Walmart is wild. Walmart is the wild. We don't date men in the wild.

We barely going to Target. Target's getting wild as damn self.

Not my Aaliyah glasses.

Thank you. Tattoo.

Excuse me. Oh, my gosh. Y' all are coming through.

Bellatrix said, white men in Walmart with their conspiracy theories. Yeah, girl, don't go there.

Tad, you said. Hey, I'm wear. Hey, girl. Good to see you. Thank you so for so many of the blessings. Girl.

Yes, honey. What time is it?

All right. I got another five, eight minutes.

All right. Yes, honey. Thick leave in conditioner. You saw my video Curated spaces only. Yes, Mama Zaza said. What about Smart and Final or Costco? Definitely not Smart and finally, definitely Costco.

But the Costco men are married with 17 children, girl. So you got to watch out for that.

Thank y' all so much for the 37,000 likes. I appreciate it. Christina said, what are the signs that my man is DL? Well, if you asking this girl, he probably is. No shade.

So let's talk about this, because this is really important.

DL, men. It's all in. What happens when a gay man is around? If a gay man is around and he has something to say about him or his feet are pointed toward him, he's DL. Yeah. He's what we call trade in the community. Trade.

If he looks at a gay guy for more than two seconds.

Gay guy knows he already has him. Trade. Trade.

I have to think back from when I used to snatch these. These. DL. Bo.

Yeah, it's mostly in the stairs. If he's staring for more than two or three seconds, that's when I knew that I had him.

So look at the feet and look at how long he stares at gay men.

Yeah.

Justice. Can you say I appreciate the talks, Anwar? You're welcome.

Hi, Anwar. How much did I miss? Girl, you missed an hour and a half, girl, you'll gag on the next video tomorrow, girl.

Bellatrix said they can recall everything that happened when the openly gay man enters the room. Mm. That's right.

Missy G said. I mean, if you're heteroflex. Girl, did you just make that up?

Heteroflexible.

Thank y' all for the 40, 000 likes. I appreciate it, B. Stevie said, anwar, the nugget you gave about men needing six to eight dicks to start attaching themselves. Such a jewel. You're welcome. Diamond said, you should do matchmaking. No, girl, there's a reason why I don't do matchmaking. Matchmaking is not going to serve many black women. And that is because there is healing to be involved when you are dating, unfortunately.