Dating Q and A 10-24-23

Hey, y'. All.

Hello. Hello, hello. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Hello, hello, hello. Hello, ladies. Hello, my loves. I hope everyone is doing well. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar y Coach Anwar, as they call me. And I'm a dating coach for black and brown women. Get into my black boy joy, honey. She's got to be joyous. She's five.

Girl, when I was little, I used to. Girl, I used to give the Carlton dance. Girl. And then when I was growing up, this one girl taught me the butterfly. And then I was doing the butterfly from ages 8 to 18.

So now, girl, I'm just a butterfly. Girl. I'm giving butterfly all day, every day. Just the butterfly.

Yeah.

I'm a dating coach. We're having fun. We're kikiing in these live sessions. I'm all about you asking your questions around love, dating, relationships, and men. And I will answer them, and I will do what I can to help you level up in your love life. And if you feel like, oh, my God, I really want to do this work this deeper work with him, definitely book a call with me, and I will figure out if it's a good fit. And if it is.

We'Ll get you into the program. I just got out of a group session where I taught my clients how to be vulnerable, which, quiet as it's kept, many of you all might not know how to do that because some of our households did not welcome and celebrate a lot of our.

Our feelings. So it might feel really weird, maybe powerless, weak to be vulnerable, but in love, it is. It's a superpower. And so it's going to be really important for you all to be vulnerable. And that's what I was teaching my clients tonight. Yeah. All right. So I'm going to look in this. In this chat, honey, and see what the girls are talking about. We're going to talk about men. We're going to talk about women grow. We're talking about anything in between. We're going to talk about love.

Sex, relationships, dating. Put your questions in the comments. I will read them and I will answer them. Okay. In the order that I. That I see them.

Chi town said, I'm early. Af. Girl, early is good. Early is the new on time. Yeah. Salonina said, cuckoo. Salu. Salu.

User 576 said hello. Saying no to salad said, hey. Hey, Janelle. Hey, Drew. Aima. Hey, Mimi. Hi, Aaliyah. Siri said I'm on a fourth date. Are you on it right now, girl, what should I expect.

Any tips? Back on the dating scene after seven years, girl. Have fun. Here's the thing. Anything after date three, you start to talk about deeper things. Yeah. So if you don't have anything, one of the things that I would actually recommend is you all get some of those dating cards. And maybe I should make a some of my own. But get some dating cards for date like five or six and answer those cards right so that you can get a bit more intimate with your. Your person. Okay.

Girl, you know it's fall, honey. When I have to what? Put these uggs on in the house, girl. Yes, I'm that fall girl. But you see, I didn't have that camel tone grub.

Black uggs all day, every day.

Yeah. Oh my God. People are saying yes. Make some of your own car. Thank you. Pink Jennifer said yes, I would buy them. Hey, you know Nan a girl. That name is redonk.

Oh my God. Yes. I think I should make some. Everyone's making these cards. It's. They're so easy.

Message from mom said, hey, bestie. Hey, girl, good to see you.

Ms. Tanki said, hey, coach. Hey, hey, girl. Amari said, oh, you jamming, girl. I was trying to. So sometimes just here's the thing. When. And I'm feeling good, but you know when you're not, you gotta have to. You're gonna have to dance it out. This is why so many of us like twerk. Cuz a lot of a trauma is like in the hips and literally twerking is healing. So twerk. Or if you can't twerk, do the butterfly.

Butterfly that shit out, girl. Yeah.

Clara Bell said he just out here dancing, no music. Love that for him. Girl, we got to. We got to have fun. We got to live our lives. We only got one life to live, honey, as the soap opera says. So we got to give it up.

Say notice. How's it? Is that Franklin? I think so. I think so.

Demetrius said, on a Tuesday, hey amore. Hey, girl. I generally come on on a Tuesday after my sessions. I'm calling it Tuesday tea. Janelle said, not the butterfly. Yes, the butterfly girl. I was that butterfly boy. There's always that one gay boy that always did the butterfly. That gay boy was me.

Nyc. Diana said, how often should we text talk after the first date? It really depends on the situation. It really depends on the interaction. But I really want him to.

Dictate that and I want you to just observe how he is showing up. Now. Some guys will reach out to you every day. Some guys will reach out to you every two to three days. That's okay, too. Okay.

Liz said, I love the kikiing. Release your weight. Said, hey, Coach Anwar. Hey, girl. Good to see you.

Keena said, what is a good spot to go for a first meeting? Now, I am someone who is all for drinks. I'm all for coffee, pastries, ice cream, something small just to figure out, do I like him, Do I want to get to know more about him. Right. All of that. Party girl said, we used to have a gay boy that taught us all how to do the splits in school. I was the gay boy who was doing the splits at the dance, too. Yeah. I was doing the absolute most. Yeah. It was fun.

Yeah.

Hope said, where should I go to meet someone in person rather than on the apps? Girl, live your life.

So two answers to that. One, do the things that bring you ultimate joy. Yeah. And then the other thing, when you're, like, on the hunt and on the prowl, and sometimes the girls are, let's not keep it cute, let's keep it real. Like, go really engage and connect in the places that are very curated. Right. So, you know, home get togethers.

Conferences.

Fraternity, sorority events, things that have some sort of invisible velvet rope involved. Right. Where not everybody gets to come in. You don't want to meet people in the wild. Meeting people in the wild is wild. Don't. Don't talk to people at gas stations or malls or Walmart.

Please don't. People are like, go to Home Depot, girl. Most of the guys at Home Depot are married. Don't do that.

Yeah. Lataya said, you have such a beautiful smile. Thank you, girl.

Chrissy said, is it wrong that I told a guy or wasn't able to drive one hour to him for our third date? No, not wrong at all. Here's the thing. You get to share with him what your preference is, and his job is to honor that.

Perla said, is it valid to cut off someone if they aren't being vulnerable with you? If. Here's the thing, if you're being vulnerable and they don't have the emotional capacity to hold space for you personally while you're being vulnerable? Yes, girl. Cut them off if they are not able to be open and you've been on multiple dates with them and you feel like you still don't know anything about them, that is telling you should. You should. What's happening is your intuition is saying, girl, you dating a rock. Girl, not the rock, a rock. You gotta go.

Lakeisha said, how to date in this day and age, where to Find quality people. Quality people are everywhere. Right? But because we have so much access to so many people, it actually feels like they're nowhere. Right. So many of us were only focused on our class, our school, our work, but now you have thousands of people at your fingertips, and so going through all of that can feel like a very daunting experience.

Pace yourself, honey. You're gonna have. What I know is you're gonna need to have at least a hundred conversations to meet your person. Many of you all are quitting after the 20th conversation. Yeah.

So that's that. On that.

Aliasa Tips for dating as a divorced mom with successful co parenting. Girl, there aren't any special tips. Do what everybody else is doing, girl. Get yourself out there, get on the apps. Also have some time for yourself while the kids are with the other parent, girl. Do something amazing for yourself. Do a hobby. Get out, meet people, do things. You know, you got to center yourself.

That's one of the things that I'm going to tell anybody. Didn't matter. Divorced, widowed, single. Right. Never married. Never been in a relationship. Late bloomer. One of the keys is centering yourself in your life. And that can be really hard, especially for women of color, because y' all are raised to want to serve and give to others. And so everything that you've been taught to do actually goes against getting into one of the best relationships of your life. Part of my work is helping my clients center themselves. Okay? And just FYI, if there's anything that I'm saying that is resonating with you, tap the. Like, give me tap, double tap, triple tap until, girl, you get arthritis or carpal tunnel.

If anything is resonating with you. Yeah, I'm here to serve you. It's a win win. I mean, I give what I know, but at the same time, every time I come on live, I have a ton of people that are booking a consultation call with me, and I get tons of amazing clients, and I help them get their guy. This week, I've had three clients get their guy. I've had a client move in with her guy in Northern California. So last week we had another three clients get their guy. Even in the cities that you think are impossible, like D.C. and Atlanta. So, honey, it's very possible with the right strategy and with the healing work that we're doing in this program. Yeah.

So please understand, like, we get to learn how to do this thing. Okay, thank you all so much for the likes. Let me just grab. Let me just. So my VIP clients, they get to message Me, text me if they have any questions, any concerns. And sometimes what happens in my sessions because we go deep. Yeah. That sometimes it will like really, really hit them in some way, shape or form.

Yeah.

This is important as you do this. Work this on your dating journey. Okay.

Caramel Said. Hello all. Hey girl.

Reina Said. Omg, your teeth are so white. Yes girl, I have a great dentist. Kima Said seen a cutie on the train but was afraid to talk. Girl, the train is the wild.

Sig Red Said met a guy on Bumble and he is catering to me and doting on me. And it's super early yet but I'm hopeful. Should I still be entertaining other men? Yes girl, you're single until you are in an exclusive relationship. Don't hyper focus on any man. Not until you are in a committed relationship with him. Because you know what happens. And I was just telling my clients this because I have clients that do that. And you know what happens? 80% of the time that shit doesn't work out. And then you have to start all the way from zero because you put all your eggs in this bag basket. Girl. Don't do that. I think of dating almost like you know, stocks, right? The best investors diversify their portfolio. So I want you to diversify your love portfolio, right? They don't put all their money on one stock, girl. They don't put it all in Apple girl. Cuz one bad day on Apple girl and you've lost hundreds of thousands, tens of thousands, millions depending on your situation. Same thing happens in your love life. I want you what I call Olympic dating. I need you to have a gold medalist, a silver medalist and a bronze medalist. Sounds like you have a gold medalist. You need to fill your podium. Don't stop until the podium's filled. Okay.

Stacy said, what do you think of Zoosk girl? Nusk. No.

Yeah. Release your weight. Said keeping it light and breezy on date one. And he goes deep and heavy. How do I manage lighten and heavy going forward? Now past date for OMG girl. Well, you know that next date needs to be an in home date. Here's the thing. It really is going to depend on your mood, right? So.

Again if you're at date four, which is past date three, you should be going deeper. We should be a little bit more emotionally intimate on these dates. This is very important as you navigate this. Yeah. You don't want to keep it always light and always heavy. It also needs to be based on your mood. If you're feeling open to heavy, great. I Want you to initiate it. If you're not feeling, like, heavy. You get to just set the boundary and let them know, oh, you know, I just want to keep things light and fun tonight. Yeah, let's talk about. Let's talk about deeper, heavier subjects the next time we chat.

Yeah.

Okay. Let me see what the girls are talking about.

K Block said, this is the first time I'm considering stepping out of my race. I had no idea. I have no idea what I'm doing. Girl.

Why are you treating these white men like they're aliens? They're this. They're. Girl, they. They're. They're the same as these. Most of these black guys. They're just probably not going to approach you like some of these very bold black men will. Right. Doesn't mean that they're not feeling you or checking for you, though. Yeah.

Not much difference. Right. Here's what I want you to do, though, because many y' all are acting like y' all are running across the freeway trying to date these white men. Honey.

I want you to. You're gonna have to talk about race a little bit early in the conversation, and you're gonna want to. You're gonna want to see, is he allowing me to take up most of the space as it pertains to this and honor my lived experience. There are white men that are gonna be like, oh, my God, that doesn't really happen, does it? Or that's a lot. I don't really believe it. Versus.

Welcoming you with sympathy and empathy. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry that's happened to you.

That really sucks. Right? That's one thing. The other thing that you want to see with some of these white guys is you want to make sure that he's dated a variety of different women. You don't want him to just date black women. That gets into fetish territory, and that can get really scary. If he's talking anything about your skin or any of your black features. Like, honey, when I was in Germany, some of these men were talking about my skin felt different, smell different. They do the contrast thing, girl.

It's disgusting. It's giving Silence of the Lambs.

Don't, don't, don't. Don't talk to those quiet guys. The other thing is you want to see if he is integrating into or has interest in black culture. Does he watch black movies, black shows? Right. Does he know the difference between Biggie and Tupac?

Those sorts of things? That's also something that is very important. Okay. Those are just some of the things. But in my last podcast episode, I actually did a whole episode and the podcast, my, my podcast is called the get your guy coaching podcast on how to safely date a white man.

Girl. Some. Now my podcast episodes, I'm like acting a fool. Like I'm. Y' all need to like reel me in because I'm really talking about the. That we really need to talk about. Yeah. So I go through all of this on the podcast episode. So check it out. It's on all of the platforms. Just search my name, Anwar White or get your guy coaching and you will find it. Yeah. Because I want, I want everyone dating at least one white man. I'm calling this winter, white boy winter. So if you don't have a white boy on your roster, girl, you're not dating, you're not dating. Not this winter. Yeah. You hear me?

I don't give a lot of directives on this, on these lives, but I'm doing one right now. White boy winter. WBW.

Hope said, love these lives. Good girl. Do you? Kalia said, do you agree with Shara? Like we're like 80% aligned. I don't get into the using older men for money. I actually think it's detrimental for other women because when you start to use guys, well, one, it's coming from a place of disempowerment. Like most of the women that do that are scared of men and don't know how to interact with men, so they want to use them instead of actually cooperate with them. And so we don't align on that. And what I know for sure is that when women are using men for money, you're going to make really good guys turn into bitter, jaded men who don't trust women and it's going to be actually harder for.

Other women. Yeah. Oh.

So that's that on that. Yeah. Booked with Brit said, hey honey Pop. Hey girl. Good to see you.

Morgan Brooks said, love your advice. Am I wasting my time on Tinder as a plus sized black woman? Probably. Girl, girl, get on OkCupid. Get on Bumble, please.

LA said, hey amore. Hey girl. Let me put this.

Girl, anytime that 20% notification comes up on my phone, girl, I get a mini heart attack. It is not the business.

Okay?

Tiff Monet said amwar a colonizer tried to buy me for 5k per week. What?

What did you say, girl?

I'm kidding. Oh my God, people. I'm kidding every girl. Sometimes I just give flippant, like, responses and people want to like crucify me.

Let me see.

To heck with this love, this name. Tips on guys that are shy and not as extroverted as me. That's great, girl. We want the yin and the yang. Yeah. Do you think. Girl, do you think my partner is extroverted? Not at all. That's why it works. I gotta be the star, and most of y' all need to be the star, but y' all are not actually.

Stepping into that role. Many of us are. And this is no shade. Many of us are playing the funny, chubby sidekick and these rom coms, and we're not being the main character in our own love lives. Like, one of the things that I learned, like, I've lived all over the world and of the things that I learned in Europe is like, oh, my God, I'm hot, number one. Number two, I'm the main character. And so in my head, and I'm sharing this with you because I want this to be your mentality as well. In my head, all I thought was, of course. Of course these guys want me. Of course these guys want to talk to me. Of course these guys want to court me. Of course these guys want to take me out. That's. That's what I need you to be giving. Yeah.

Here's the thing.

When you have that, more people will be attracted to you and. And will. You'll radiate this confidence that I think is so important in. In dating, which many of us maybe aren't necessarily embodying. Okay.

You talked about guys that are shy. I'm not really going to give life to guys that are shy. Your guy, even if he's shy, he's going to get out of his shyness and make it happen for you. Your job is to focus on yourself and making sure that you are embodying this energy. Yeah.

He said match with this cute guy on Tinder, but he hasn't sent me a message yet. Should I make the first move? If you want to, girl. But it's like the apps are kind of the wild, wild west. So, like, you can start a conversation. You can't. So the episode that I had before this most recent one was the head of marketing for OkCupid. And what he told me on the episode was that when women start the conversation, the conversation actually goes two to three times longer than if a man starts it. Yeah. So, girl, start it. Let us know what happens. Honey. Melissa said, I have a date with an Indian guy Friday. I'm nervous. He's shorter than me, too, girl. What are you nervous about? Indian guys are great.

Although some sometimes.

Here'S the thing because they have really like Indian guys are similar to Italian guys in that their mothers are very overbearing. So sometimes like their mothers are doing so much for them that they expect their women to do it. And so they're not going to take the initiative as much. So you want to look out for that as you are being courted by him. But if he's showing up and doing what he needs to do, great, girl. Have fun. Lois said, you need to let me be your. Your publicist, girl. Email me anwar@getyourguycoaching.com or DM me. Let's have a conversation. Let me know what you can do. Girl. Yeah. Why am I said, can you find wealthy men on a dating app? Because I don't like going out to find men, girl. Why are we hyper focused on wealthy men? Do you know that wealth. A lot of wealthy men are trash.

Trash.

I'm literally like.

In circles with tons of wealthy men in programs, in groups. Girl. I would never let any of my friends, my sisters, my cousin talk to any of these guys. Girl. Wealthy men is there. Many of them are trash.

Comadre said, you can take the girl out of California, but you can't take the California out of the gro. Yes, honey.

I guess my valley girl is showing.

Like I said. When should the topic of being exclusive come up? I think that it's. That conversation should be happening around the two and a half to three month mark. Okay. Because I've been seeing a Guy on Date 5 is next week. Keeping an open mind. Yay. Good me see? Sweet said these dates apps like Hinge are horrible. Everybody needs to get off of Hinge right now.

Get off of hands right now. We're boycotting Hinge. Hinge is out. Hinge is unhinged. Yeah.

Let me see where we're at, honey.

Oh, my God. I'm so behind. Please be patient with me, y'. All.

Let me see.

Coach Darlene said, I'm about to go on a coffee date with a white guy. He approached me. We love a white guy that approaches. Honey.

Mia said, why would a super great guy pull away from you out of nowhere? Girl, it could be a variety of different reasons. And it sounds like you're driving yourself crazy trying to figure out the why. Our job is not to figure out the why. Our job is just to accept the what. And the what is that he pulled away. Now, if it's only been a day or two, girl, wait three to five days sometimes. If you're like been.

Like being courted by a guy and it's like right before exclusivity, sometimes he will pull away because he's got to get his mind, his intellect, his spirit ready to be exclusive with you and then he'll come back. Now the mistake that most women make is they're going to get mad at him when he comes back and they're like, where were you? Da da da da da. Instead of, hey, hope you're doing well. I was worried about you. Alright.

But that's only if y' all are close to exclusivity. If you've had, let's say six or more physical dates. If you haven't and he's pulled away earlier than that, it means most of the time that he's not into it.

And we just have to accept that like 97% of these guys you won't even go out with a, on a third date with. These are like the dating statistics.

Felony said. I've been feeling a little ostracized as a black woman. Like an object. Non black men conquer. No, girl, no. We don't let any men conquer us. We do the conquering girl. Yeah. Here's what you need to do this week or this weekend. I need you to watch Wonder Woman. Not the second one. That was horrible. The first one. I need you to embody the power that that village of women were giving. Or that Viola Davis movie, I forget. Woman king, God, I'm not good with movie titles. I need you to understand that you are not someone or something to be conquered. You are, are the conqueror. And these men. This is why I had the Columbus Days challenge. Because I need you to colonize these men. I need you to take the power out of their hands. For some reason you think that they have the power. They don't. Do you know that literally as a woman, you have all of the power in love? Many of us don't know that. I swear to God.

If you don't learn anything from me tonight, please understand that you have all the power in the world and nothing starts without you saying yes. And everything stops when you say no. And if you're not embodying that, we have some work to do to make sure that you have that power. Because if you don't, your love life is going to feel out of control. If you want help with that, you can definitely apply to book a call with me. The link is in my bio, if you want that. But girl, these men are little boys. They're simple. Like, don't give them more power than they actually deserve. They really don't deserve it. If I had what y' all have, honey, I would be. I don't know, girl. The Duchess of Sussex. Girl, I would. Girl, I would be the Queen of England.

I want that for you all. I do.

Let me see what y' all are talking about.

Morgan Brooks said. Omg. I didn't know that you had a podcast. Let me subscribe now. Yes, girl. It's called the get your guy coaching podcast. Okay. Sasha said. I heard it. She's cracking up in that bo. Yeah. Honey. Gone. And listen, Candy says the fool in me sees the fool in you. I know that's right. That's my family right there. Tabisha said that episode was so good. Amore, thank you for this. You're so welcome.

Oh, my God, I love it. Who's into white boy winter?

Just us. Jessica said, you. You have me dating a Korean guy now.

Let's have it happen, honey. She says she's ready for the squid games. Honey. I know that's right. I. Girl, I used to be into Korean men, too, so I get it, honey. I really do.

User576@ Honey, for real, those podcasts are off the chain. Thank you.

Coach Darlene said I'm gonna have that race combo with him soon. Nice.

Oni said. Why do men not like when women are confident? Certain men don't like that because they want to control you.

But those are not the men that we need to consider. They're not in the consideration set. There are a lot of people that are, like, really focused on these, like, guys on podcasts and things like that, and guys that are saying that women should submit. Girl, that's not your audience.

Why do you care that these people are saying these things? Who gives a shit what they're saying and what they want? They're fucking alone for a reason. Yeah. Or they're using these women who don't have any boundaries and don't have any confidence and thinking that they're hot shit. Let them.

That's not. That's not our lane, girl.

That's not our lane.

Yeah.

Don't. Guys that can't deal with a confident woman, they're not ready for prime time, and that's okay.

Benedict said. So why is dating an ambitious man not a good idea? I like men that are growth. Have a growth mindset because they're about growth internally and externally. Ambitious men are focused on their goals, number one, then themselves, number two, and then either you or their mama, number three. And I just think that you deserve to be more than in Bronze medal placing in your relationship. Yeah. He will always put his goals number one.

And even if you marry a very ambitious man. This is why Elon Musk and Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos, multiple marriages.

It doesn't work.

Yeah.

Gina said, I don't want to be the star at all. That's the work, girl. Cuz guess what? Your man is going to want you to be the star. He's going to want to serve you. Yeah. He's going to want to put the spotlight on you. And if you're not ready to have that, he's not going to know what to do with it. Men want to serve you.

Yeah.

That's just it.

So you gotta get. That's. That's the work. Yeah. Dana said, but I'm funny and chubby, girl. Do it, girl. Then work, then guess what? You can still be the protagonist. I don't want you being the best friend. Right. The supporting actress.

Julia said, should we lie about salaries? Well, we shouldn't be talking about salaries as we're being courted. Like that's no one's business. Yeah.

Raquel Said, thoughts on super nerdy guys. Girl, that's the way to go, girl. That's the way to go, girl. They make great husbands and no shade, girl. Well, all shade. All T. These nerds are packin' when I tell you, girl. Pack king. These are kings, girl. Down there, girl. What do I think about the super nerdy guys? Nerd out with them, girl. When they want to start talking about molecules. Talk, talk, talk, talk molecule with him, girl.

Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. Hey, doula. Hey, kiana.

May Hayek said, Raya has been such a mess for me, girl. Ladies don't go on. Raya.

What's the tea on Dominican men, girl? Toxic.

Girl. They know how to put it down, but toxic.

Yeah, that's the thing. So I have. When we're talking about wealthy men, wealthy men are actually very stingy. That's the gag of it all. So many women that are looking to have a soft life are hyper focused on wealthy men without understanding that they are super stingy. And I've gone to the best boarding schools, to the best universities. When we all go out to eat, they are not trying to pay for everybody.

They're the ones that are like, okay, so I got the Caesar salad, so here's my 15. No, girl, put that fucking Amex down. Yeah, but wealthy men don't do that. Many wealthy men don't do that. Yeah. So something to think about.

Yeah. Here's the thing. This is why a lot of wealthy people are voting Republican, girl. Because they don't want to pay the taxes. They don't want to pay the taxes. They probably don't want to pay for you, girl. No Shade.

Lo the spiritual biz guy. Tips for dating as an entrepreneur, woman. My ex was very threatened and now I'm traumatized, girl. He was threatened by what exactly? Your. Your wealth, your time, freedom. What was he threatened by?

Justice. Just. Cuz you are so awesome. Thank you, girl. Okay, let me. Okay, girl, let me see what the. What IG is giving. You know, Nan said I'm stuck on the dress code for dates. Do you go all out for dates one through three or dress down then? Wow. The last date or dress up, Girl, you thinking about it too much. Dress in a way that's going to make you feel safe, confident, sexy and good. That's it. That's it. No more thinking about it. Cuz you focus on him. You're centering him and what you're dressing with or dressing for. It's not about him. It's about you. It's always been about you. It always will be about you. Yeah.

Malicious Said. Black in the Canadian prairies. Am I in the wrong place?

Yes.

Girl. Where are you? In Calgary, girl. In Alberta, honey. The Texas of Canada. Are you north? North of that, girl. Are you in the Territories?

Sassy Said is hiking the wild. Well, it's literally the wild. But hiking is good because not everybody's going to be there.

Bruno Mars says is lack of sex a deal breaker, even though he has great other qualities. That's a conversation that needs to be had. Yeah. About what your needs are. You literally might have to sit down and negotiate what. What it looks like. And here's the thing. He might not be having sex with you because he might be really stressed at work. Men that are really stressed at work, you would think that they would want to have more sex with you, but they will actually shut down. Yeah. So we got to first figure out how things are happening at work. And then secondly, we need to figure out if everything is good at work. We need to figure out, okay, here's what I need sexually. Right. I need to be doing it twice a week. And if he says I can do it once a week, let's say you say three times a week. And he says once a week. Y' all gotta meet in the middle and do it two times a week. Yeah.

Nikki B. Says, do you do an assessment to determine what work needs to be done or everyone goes through the same Work for the VIP clients. VIP is very individualized. Like on a weekly basis, we're having 30 minute, one on one sessions. Right. All of my VIP clients get to text me directly when there are certain issues that are coming up for them. After every date, they reach out to me and we talk through the dates. So it's very individualized. My get your guy club is more of a group container and group coaching. Okay.

Raina said, I'm visiting Albania and there are a lot of men here compared to women. Any places you know of that are also good men to women ratio? Girl. All up and down the Balkans, girl, you in the right place, girl. You need to be going to Croatia. Serbia, girl. Montenegro, Slovenia, girl. Girl, just stay there. Stay in that area, girl. You're exactly where you need to be. Thank you. Thank you, Lord.

Release your weights that. Congrats on the 100,000 downloads. Thank you so much. My podcast just had 100,000 downloads, which is a huge, huge accomplishment. Pinky Vinyl. Pink vinyl Said, so glad I found you. So glad you're here too, girl.

Yes, honey. Okay, all of the girls that are, are. Are in for white boy winter. I'm calling y' all snow whites.

All the snow whites out there. I love that Sassy. All the snow whites out there.

Once. Once you are. Once you are putting those puffer jackets on, girl. You know it. It's white boy win.

Fissile fire said, did you change your mind on Bumble? Yes, girl. Last year, Bumble was horrible. This year, roughly 70% of my clients have found their guy on Bumble Hinge in the toilets. So I'm not about hinge anymore. 40 me. Right now, it's all about Bumble and OkCupid. Yeah. So my mind has changed. And the thing about it is that, like, these apps go. Are seasonal. Sometimes they're hot and sometimes they're not. Bumble is hot right now.

IG Baby said, what ethnicity is your partner if you don't mind sharing? Girl, I don't mind sharing anything.

Girl. White, white, white, white, white.

Like milk white. Like, when I get in the sun, I'm red white.

I can't take him anywhere, girl. He just gets red.

They call me cj. Thoughts on dating African men?

Why you ask me questions that can get me in trouble?

Why?

Here's the thing. I say a lot of shit, and then what y' all don't see are my DMs.

Of, like, black men and African men and plus sized men that want to come from me because I've said something about Them or military men? No, not every guy in the military is bad. I don't know how they talk. Girl.

Girl, don't get me in trouble. I literally have to fight them off in the DMs. Girl, that's my fourth grade karate class. What I learned on it aka it's really like a Janet video dance move. But I digress.

1,800Kma said been courting a guy for. For a month. He's. Wait, why are we courting men? We don't court men. We are courted.

So he's giving me the cold shoulder because you're courting him. Stop courting him. Don't court men. Honey. Girl, if you court a man, I'm going to take you to court. Okay.

What should I do? It seems like I'm not fake looking. Girl, stop courting. Talk to other men. Let them court you. Stop courting this man. It's too much.

I should arrest you right now. Actually.

SP Beauty said, does it matter who initiates a conversation about exclusivity? No, it doesn't. But it needs to happen before the 3 month mark.

Pretty brown eyes said lol. I just love you. Thank you.

Tori said, advice for dating when you have niche interests like metal music. Girl, that's. Girl, that doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. Go to metal concerts, girl, but just live your life. Yeah.

SP Beauty, can a man shift from being ambitious to a growth mindset? Most definitely. And you will notice this because he will be talking about his inner work, not just his outer work and his accomplishment and what he wants to accomplish. Yeah, but you have to be observing of that. You can't prompt it.

Okay, let me see. I gotta switch it over. Honey. Let me see what tick tock's giving. Thank you all so much for the 31,000 likes over here on TikTok. Y' all are the real MVPs out here.

Oh hey, Anet, shut up and just tell me how to get a one on one with you. Girl, go to the link in my bio book a consultation call and we'll figure out if it's a good fit and if we're going to work together or not. Yeah.

Anasha said, what about being broken up with him? Saying, I just need time. Your future husband will never just need time.

He not ready. And what I know because I've done this work forever is that he'll never be ready. And we have to. We have to. We have to own that.

We have to honor that. Actually, not just own it. Hello. Just exhale. Good to See you.

Tammy said, I've avoided dating for a couple years. Ready to jump back in? Yes, girl. Nay said, best dating apps for the Midwest, girl. Probably still Bumble and OkCupid. If you're like 38 and over, you want to probably get on Match too.

Sierra said, does short term relationship mean something completely different for men online? No, girl, it means he wants to get it in. But here's the tea, girl. Most guys want to get it in, so the guys that are actually putting it on their profile are the honest ones.

Tiff said, I'm just so turned off by the dating apps, girl. Take a break from them then.

Yeah.

T said, is it the same for ambitious women? No, because women, women derive a lot of their value from their connections that they have, their relationships that they have. So it's actually a better mix of both my external goals and the connections that I make with people.

Pete Rose said, did you just say approach white men? No, I didn't say that. No, I, I didn't say that. You can if you want to, though. It's all about giving them the green light. Honey, what did, what did John Legend say once?

Give me the green light?

Roman Minaj said, hi, Amar. Hey, good to see you.

Liz said, he just told me that he doesn't want me to give him the same, same energy he gives me. Girl, he's playing tit for tat. Leave him alone. I don't like that.

Lo the spiritual said, my mom always said, date the nerdy ones. Yes, honey. Lillian said, super nerdy guys have done me wrong. Girl. What nerdy guys have you gotten into?

Let me see. Sierra said, the nerds aren't attractive in the slightest. I've tried so hard. Some of them are. Girl, all you gotta do is like take them to the hairdresser, put them in a nice top.

Put those contacts in. Girl, I like glasses myself, but you'd be surprised what a little makeover might do. Yeah, but here's the thing. Most people are so, and this is, I think, especially the case for women of color because maybe we haven't been able to fully step into our emotions and really be aligned with them that we will hyper focus and over index in intellectual connection and physical connection. And so a lot of people will be like, he needs to be fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. Because the emotional side of ourselves is pretty sentient. So my work is to help us mature the emotional side of us so that we can make those decisions. Deeper emotional connections. I know when that happens, that chemistry and physical attraction can actually definitely Grow with time.

Lynn Divine said baby Bumble no fumble because I got a nerd asking for a meet and greet right now. I know that's right, girl.

P Rose said, amore, I got a crush on this Italian man. What to do, girl? Call him a proprio stranzo. That that's basically calls him an. You want to be mean to Italian men. They love it. Then they're like, but why?

And then you just tell them I'm kidding. And then, then you have them.

Then you have them in your hands.

Police. Thank you so much for the rose.

Let me see what's going on here.

Daphne said, good evening, Amore. Thanks, thanks. Love your lives. Welcome. Queen of Roses said, the comments are delayed about 10 to 15 minutes. Give him time to get to you. Thank you for the patience, love. There's 450 of you on TikTok, 40 of you on Instagram. So I'm trying to do what I can for as my mother would say, God in my country.

Yeah.

User584 thoughts on Military officers.

The Jewel Digest said, Tell me more about military men.

They're not right. Any guy that is in a profession where they have the lives of others in their hands are going to create God complexes. I just did this, I just talked about this in my last video. Right. And that God complex will transfer over to their home life.

And you don't want to be around that. That's dangerous. So that's why I'm like, I'm not a fan of the military guys. They have one of the highest divorce rates and a high level of db. Same with police officers, firefighters, emt, lawyers, surgeons, pilots.

You want to stay away from them. Yeah.

No, I thank them for their service, but I also am really focused on men that are going to give you good service. Yeah. And serve you well.

Because many of these military men might not serve you. Serving your country not, but may not serve you.

Tisa said, courting a man is wild.

Period.

Oh. Sierra said, fuck. Affair, trial, straight to jail. Here's the thing, ladies. I understand why you might court a man. Some of us might feel like we really want this to happen and so so many of us will try to make it happen and drag guys through through to make it happen. It happens all of the time. But I just want, if you feel that way, I want to just offer to you that you deserve a man that is going to walk through fire for you. Right. And you have to allow that to happen. This is about learning how to sit in our feminine energy. And unfortunately, most women of color don't have the luxury of or to be able to do that, you have to intentionally learn how to do that. Life doesn't provide you with that opportunity. So I get why you would try to make things happen, because you literally have had to make things happen in all parts of your life. This is why I'm a dating coach for black and brown women. Because there are unique challenges that you will need to go through, that you will need to deprogram and relearn. Reparent yourself, reprogram to get into the best relationship of your life. Yeah, that's. That's what I do as a dating coach. Okay.

Miss Ohio said, see, there is another life going on where the man says, he is supposed to be courted. Let him be courted.

A lot of these men want to be courted. That's okay.

Not by you. Not by the ladies in this life.

If that's the case, I'm not doing my job good enough.

Yeah, we don't court men.

Dime said. How do we become a VIP client? You gonna have to apply for a consultation. The link is in my bio. And if your application is accepted, you'll book a time to talk with me. We'll talk through kind of where you're at in your love life. If I feel like it's a good fit, I will definitely invite you to the program. I don't invite everybody. And only, I would say about only a third to a half of the actual consult applications are accepted.

Girl, I get like, 100 applications a week, so.

Girl, I get like a hundred applications a week, so I don't have the time to talk to 100 people, so I have to really work with the people that are ready to invest and ready to work with the dating coach right now and someone that's interested in my programs right now. Yeah. If not, we put you on a wait list, and we'll continue. You'll be part of the newsletter that I send out every Sunday.

Let me see what's going on here.

Ezriel said, I'm into a guy at my job. Should I ask him out? No, no, no, no, no, no.

No.

I don't even know how to pronounce this money sign. Glow. Glow. Thoughts on men in their 40s that haven't married. Those are the same. The same thoughts that I have with women that are in their 40s that haven't been married. All right, if you want it, great. If you don't, you don't. There are a number of people that don't want to be Married. And that's okay too, right? That maybe they've just been in long term partnerships.

Tessa, thoughts on Arab men committing to black women? Love that.

The last research that I've seen, Arab men are actually very much into black women. More so than black men are.

D said, play some music anymore, girl, I'm on. I'm on IG too. Usually on Sundays when I'm just on Tick Tock, I can use my phone to play music, but I can't play it tonight, girl.

Stephanie Said, hi. I'm learning a lot from your program. Thank you, girl. You're so welcome. I will get to your message after this live. I saw your message. Don't think I didn't. Well, the spiritual biz Said, I'm so sorry, but I got cut off when you answered my dating as an entrepreneurial woman. Okay.

Tiff said, I love OkCupid. It's OG, but I just like the style of it. I love it, too.

Triple star. If a man hasn't proposed after four years, knowing you really want to, is it a red flag? Girl, it's not a red flag. Girl, it's a red, white and blue flag. That is the flag of war. It means he doesn't want what you want. It means you gotta go.

I know that if you're not married or engaged within two years, it's not gonna happen. Probability is so low, he already knows if it's a financial issue and he's saying, oh, my God, I don't have the money. But when I like, I'm saving up for it. Great.

Good. Otherwise.

No, no name said, Whose baby is coughing? Girl, My youngest is sick. She's been. She's been away from school, so she's coughing in her room, unfortunately.

Emerald. And no name said, how do we give white guys the green light? Well, first.

Let me sit like this.

How do you give white guys the green light? The same way that you would give black guys the green light. Girl, you can smile, you can wave, you can wink, you can give them a compliment, you can ask them for help. Right? The way to figure out if a white guy is into you or not, because he's not really going to approach you because he thinks that you're only focused on black guys is you have to look at his feet. You have to see are his feet pointed toward you? And if they're pointed toward you, he wants you. And after you have that fact, you can do whatever the hell you want with him. Please know. Yeah.

That'S the T.

Okay, let me see what's Happening on IG real quick, girl. This is a full time job.

One, 800, what's with hot guys being celibate? Girl, they're not celibate. They're not celibate. Girl. That's game. That's game.

Sassy4 said, I just took the quickest shower to hear all of this and words of truth. Thank you, girl.

Sassy said, Mr. You need a call in show. I do that with my clients. So like Thursday nights it's a Q and A session. We call it meeting in the ladies room for the women in my program. So that is when they get to ask me questions and I coach them directly. That is something that is directly related for my clients and instead of answers that are 15 seconds long, we go into it and it's five minutes long. Five to 10 minutes long. Yeah. So that's something that is definitely reserved for my clients.

Sza where's the album? Said just joined the league in Montreal. Do you think that's a good dating pool for black women in Montreal? No girl. So.

Girl, get on Bumble and get on Tinder and put your location to the west island. Okay? That's what you need to do.

Jennifer said, this guy came to fix locks at my place, asked me out. I did go out with him and it was fun. Do you think that was a good idea given the way we met? Yeah, girl.

Why not?

Shakina said, omg. Hi. I love your video so much. I need to meet with you soon, girl. Go ahead and go to the link in my bio and book a call girl if you want to work with me.

Raina said, a man asked me out but I couldn't because I'm out of town for a month. I told him when I get back to Should I initiate when I get back or just let him know I'm back? No, what you need to do is to keep the momentum. Just let him know I'm going to be away. But I'd love to have a phone date with you soon. I'm available on this date and this date. Let me know what works for you.

Keep it going, girl. Keep it going.

Okay, I think I'm caught up on ig.

Color Me Purple. Said I have to get over my mate being shorter than me. Yes you do, girl. Yes you do, girl. The Short Kings be putting it down, honey. No shade.

Carmen said you provide great content, but for real, I just listened to your voice as asmr. You know what's so funny? I hated my voice for the majority of my life because girl, this with this girl. I was girl. Like, the kids were ruthless with this voice, but look at me now. Asmring.

Apparently.

Jamie said, I love your smile. Lights up my day. Thank you, girl. Elj how to find white men in Phoenix for a black woman. Girl, they're everywhere, but you probably gonna need to go to the suburbs, girl. You got a lot of Hispanic and natives, especially like in the Chandler region, if I remember correctly.

I think just date everybody. Yeah.

Dana said, you're the best coach out here. Amore. Thank you. I try my best. I try to go one step further. I want to make sure that my free stuff is better than anybody's paid stuff. Yeah. Because my paid stuff is life changing. Please believe.

Kadra said, I love your grandmother and mother sayings. Thank you. I will let them know that they are hoot.

A hoot.

Kiki said, what about pastors? Girl, I try to stay away from the pastors. Girl. Similar tea. They think that they have people's lives in their hands.

I know.

JSB said, not y' all flirting with them. Girl. Let him flirt. Girl. I'll s. I'll sic my man on them. Honey. He doesn't. He didn't take kindly to that. That happens all the time when you're, you know, pretty like me. No, I'm kidding.

Takiya said, should I keep going to events by myself? Depends. What kind of events are you going to like? For example, like, if you're gonna go to sporting events, you want to go with a couple of girlfriends so you can play that like, you know, Greece, like, girls group, guys group situation. You want that at, like, a sporting event or if you go to, like, a bar or something.

What are your thoughts on men in the arts? Musical theater, actors, musicians. Many of them are in their dominant feminine energy, and they will put you in your masculine energy. So I try to stay away from them as much as possible.

If, like, most of them are in their fem energy.

Ross said, I need to book a session. Girl gone and do it then. Anya, the heart healer. Thank you so much for the rose.

Julia said, can women date without a car by choice if you're in Chicago or New York?

Dana said, I'm thinking about having an imaginary friend at this point. Girl.

Here's what I think. I don't think that.

I think that getting someone is.

Very possible. There is work that probably needs to do that needs to happen. Right. To make sure that we're getting there and a level of consistency.

Okay.

That's what I do in my program.

Nazira said, Mr. You were Right about therapist. That man had to go. I know, girl, I know.

Ms. KB said, Kevin Samuels has ruined men's mentality. Kevin Samuels didn't ruin anyone's mentality. Men were already thinking this. He just gave voice to it.

Yeah.

Color me purple said, you may need to give examples of not courting men. No problem, girl. We will not initiate texts. We will not initiate calls. We will not call them back. We will not.

We won't be sending them random text messages like we're not doing anything.

Nada. Prada.

Yeah, we're not doing anything for these men. We're giving them space to show up for us. And as black women, it is imperative that you do this because your guy is going to need to actually show up for you much more than another woman because you dealing with much more in your everyday life. And your man is going to have to take on that burden. So he's going to need a lot of initiative to be able to do that.

Do you hear me?

So she said, dang, you'd be pulling answers out of your pocket. I'm learning though. And she said, sorry, y', all, my question was not written correctly. I want to know if you would be willing to answer those questions that you answer for members, but only answering those members questions. Girl, now I'm more confused than ever, girl.

Tori said they were not ready for the asmr. Never ready, girl. I always. Girl, just like with these men, you always got to keep them guessing, girl.

I'm all right. That's so say, say name is amazing. I'm a Christian who is in full time ministry. I'm 38 and most single guys are super young. How young is too young in your opinion? Also, which app do you suggest for Christians except upwards?

How young is too young? Well, girl, you would know. Only, I mean, only the Lord would know.

In all seriousness, I always say plus 10 years, minus 5 years. Most of my clients actually right now are getting their guys and most of them are younger. Between three to six years younger. So, girl, let's go with 30 plus. Yeah. For you.

Sza, where's the album? You should have says you should have a show like the other dating coaches on Netflix. I know, right? I think so too.

Sometimes. It's because.

I made a conscious decision to really focus on black and brown women. I think that if I focused on all women, I probably would have had a show by now. So I'll wait my term. I'm not like in a big rush. I got kids that I have to raise anyway, so I'm pretty sure the show will come in five to 10 years. Yeah. And when that's the case, I'm gonna blow him out of the fucking water.

Nikki said, will white men speak up and protect black women? How can we test that?

Test that? When. When you're dating them and how they protect you. What they say to the waiter who doesn't give you as much life as you need. Right. You know, the microaggressions that happen every day. You want to see if he catches onto that and if he says something or if he justifies what other people are saying. Yeah. One time, my partner and I, when we were house shopping, the guy was looking at him and was completely ignoring me. And you know what my partner did?

He looked at the guy and he said, this. This is my partner, and we're buying this home together. And I've noticed that you haven't been looking at him in the eye. If you're going to continue to do this, we're going to leave immediately. Don't you know that man looked at my partner and was explaining something for more than 30 seconds, and my partner did not like that. He said, we're out of here. And we peaced out. Girl, this man is protective over me. Honey.

Honey, we had to go. Honey, we had to go. We had to put our puffers on and we had to go. Sweetie, we're not giving any, Any. Any money to that man. That's what we're looking for with these white men. Advocacy, protection. Okay.

Kylan said, I'll. I'll invest in 2024. I don't got it. Elmar, Girl, do what you got to do. Maya Santiago said, you should do a collab with Steven or Stefan Speaks.

No, he can do his own thing.

I think he's lovely. I also think that. I think he's focused on, like, the Christian woman.

I think that he's good for his people, and I'm good for my people. Yeah.

Valerie says is your newsletter for subscribers only. It's for anyone that signs up for my free trainings or any newsletters or anything, so. So if you apply for a consultation, you'll get on my newsletter list as well. Okay. Actually, I'll put my.

I'll put it in my. In the link in my bio so that you guys can get into it. Yeah.

Girl. Sierra, you're too much, girl. You said lmao. I said, your freedom is ringing.

Oh, my God, girl, I'm gagged. Girl, y' all are acting out.

Mind, body, soul. Does your advice apply to women ages 18 to 25. 100%. 100%.

Kylan said, can my profiles be the same across the board? Yeah girl, do that. Don't make it complicated, girl.

Charlotte Miller said, Amore, you need to coach. Robin from the Real Housewives of Potomac.

You know what the gag is? 4 months ago I actually one of the ladies from Potomac reached out to me and they wanted me to come to one of their events but nothing ever panned out. I literally get offers like meetings from TV every month. None of it really pans out.

That's okay though.

Chanel says, is Tinder just a hookup site? For the most part I would say yes. Yeah. The ladies in my program are generally between the ages of 30 and 55. They want to get married and they want to have children for the most part or at least combined families and have parental units for the children that they already have. Yeah. So Tinder doesn't is not would not be the first choice for that goal for me.

MJ said, should you ever swipe right on guys who bumble say don't know yet? Yes. Cuz guys don't know what they're looking for until they find it. That's what I know. Yeah. Sierra said, the short kinks be insane sometimes. I know that's right. Julia said, yes they do. Shark Kings honey.

Christine said, thank you for your plus size advice. Of course girl, I try to. Girl I try to spill all the tea. I want everybody to thrive. Sophia said, I love your content and voice. Thank you girl. Tarara thank you so much for the three roses.

HO12 well first of all that name is insane. OR Is it HO12? Is it a bad idea to go after white guys in college? I don't want you to go after any guys. I want the guys to go after you. This is a different mindset. Yeah.

Miss you. Sarah said, my problem is you're my type but I'm never yalls type. What are you talking about? Gay guy, Squirrel girl. Stop. Stop the madness.

Here's a gag. Your type is not your type. Your type is probably.

Is going to go for someone else. Why do I say this? Because I've been a dating coach for 13 years and I get one to three women in relationships every week and every time I talk to them and I ask them hey girl is this your type? Guess what they say. 95% of the time they say no this is not my type of I would never imagine that I would be with it this time but I'm happy and I feel good. So if you are not in a position where you are opening and widening your net to the point where you are dating different kinds of people you might not be dating in a way that's going to serve you. And if you want to learn how to do that, definitely book a consultation call. The link is in my bio.

Uh oh. Sierra Said just made a new Bumble account. Not you creating online profiles while you're on this live. Girl, I love it. Let me find my place.

Hey, it's Jin. What are your thoughts on dating Korean men? I think that they're fun. I think that they are.

They love to serve on the women that they are dating. Many of them.

Won'T be able to take you home.

My experience doesn't necessarily mean it will be yours. It's just been my experience in doing this work.

Sher. Denise Said. Anwar. Hello. Hello, girl. Good to see you.

That's so Catty Said. Omg. I think I've been courting a man. Omg. I'm ashamed. Don't be ashamed, girl. Just change.

Shelby said I needed to hear that. Good.

Is that for the beginning or throughout? For. For most of the courtship now? Things will change once you get into a relationship. Yeah. And thank you all so much for the 44,000 likes. Y' all really killing it over here, honey.

Oh, that's Noonie. Thanks. His handwear. Hey, girl.

Bambi Said, you on one tonight. Am I? Yeah. I thought I was really chill and calm tonight.

Girl. I guess I'm on one every night, girl.

Had to cross my legs the other way.

Charlotte Said would have much rather watch your show than this season of Love is Blind. Yeah, girl. Here's the gag. Y' all were talking so much about. Love is Blind. I had to watch it, and now my partner's obsessed with it. We're almost. We're almost finished with it.

Oh, my gosh. It's a mess. You're right.

Dynasty said, I say you'll get your show in three to five years, probably. Girl, I hope so. I hope it comes when it. When I'm ready, when I can make the biggest impact, whenever that may be.

My epic gem said, this feels like a very safe space. And it is. And it is.

Emerald Strong said, is he white, my man? Yes.

Yes, he is.

Sometimes white is. All right.

Y' all are gagged on this coat. Honey. People ask me what that Fendi cost. Girl, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Yes, honey. I had to get that white shield, honey.

I had to use some of that. I had to. I had to take some of that privilege from my white husband, honey, and use it.

Yes.

Wilbur said, how do you feel about dating someone eight years older than you? Do it. Do it plus 10 years, minus five years.

Yeah.

Sydney said, when should a black woman be worried about if they'll get married? Well, the research says that 89% of women will get married in their lifetime. What you need to focus on is getting married to the right person. Here's the thing. Most people, most black women will think that they're late in the game because you've been fed this lie that you're supposed to get married between the ages of 20, 25 and 35. Most black women that I know are getting married between the ages of 35 and 45. Okay.

Kyra said, yes, amor. Tell us how we can spend more time with you and your teachings, girl. Keep on coming to these lives. I do them on Tuesdays and on Sundays.

Sometimes I come on on Thursdays too. If I'm feeling it.

Listen to my podcast called the get your guy coaching podcast. The link is in my bio, but you can find my podcast on any platform that has a podcast. That is where I'm continuously spilling the tea. Yeah. If you like this, you'll love that. Yeah.

Chris said, my man cooks, cleans, we go on dates weekly by weekly is super nice and protective. Well, what the do you need? Why are you here? Don't rub it in, girl. Sounds like a dream to me.

Tiff Lizzy said, amore. I love that you focus on women, on women and our needs, as opposed to focus on men and their needs. Girl, men are the worst.

I shouldn't say that, but I gotta tell the truth and get a baby Ruth, as my mother would say. Yeah.

Sierra said, oh, my stomach hurts. Why, girl?

Why?

Claire Monroe said, how do you get into your program? You're going to have to book a consultation call with me. The link is in my bio. Everyone has to do that. That is the only way to start this process of getting to the programs. Why? Because it is important for my programs to be a safe, non judgmental space because we're going to be going deep. We're going to be. It has to be a space where you feel safe to be vulnerable and share your truth so that you can be coached. So I have to talk with each and every woman to make sure that they're able to hold that space right and that you're coachable. The last thing that I want is for if you want to go back and forth with me and argue about what is and what isn't, probably not a good fit. So I have to figure that out on these calls. I only work with women that are coachable. I'm not. I worked with women that want to debate me on everything. You know what happens. They don't get results. I would say anywhere from 85 to 90% of my clients in my VIP program have gotten their guy in the program. Yeah. The expectations that you will get your guy in the program. In the VIP program. Now, I just started the club. It started this year. I'll have stats on it next year. But right now, I think about 56% of the women have gotten their guy in the program that have been in it for. For more than nine months. Okay.

ComAndre said, Amor wants black and brown women to win and do.

And.

RC SRT says, as a man, how much money should I be making before I date enough to court these women.

And not skimp. But it's not as much. It's not even about the money as much. You have to become the man that's ready for an amazing relationship. Your emotional game needs to be on. Are the kids still saying fleek?

You got to be emotionally available. You got to be open. You got to be respecting boundaries. Right? Like what women are requiring these days is. Is much more than what many men have been taught. Right. You got to share your heart with them. You got to connect. The charming is cute and fun, but after a while, that gets boring. Just like flirting. We got to be able to go deeper, which means that you got to be able to know yourself. Okay.

Cece said, do you work with actresses all the time. Girl, as long as you don't act a fool.

Oh, my God. Candy said, I'm literally swiping right now. Girl, you better be swiping right on. At least 50% of these men, honey.

Girl, it's like a. It's the Hunger Games. Put them all in and see who wins. Girl.

Love Jones said, shoot, I just set mine up right now. Good girl. I love it. I love that y' all are creating these. Get on. Talk to these men. Honey.

Maya said, I just seen a Tik Tok saying you most likely won't marry your type. And you won't.

You won't. But your type isn't your type. That's the gag. That is like God's crazy joke when it comes to love. If y' all are into the God thing. Universe's crazy joke. If y' all are into the universe thing. Spirits crazy joke. If you're into the spirit thing.

Sarah said, I'm still not over that Real Housewives of Potomac comment because if I was here, I dead would be lurking in here, child. Okay.

Wilbur said, should you stay away from people with mental health problems, I think that they're going to need to have it well in control. If they're having an episode right now, they're going to need the space to figure it out. Your job is not to nurse them.

You don't get brownie points for that.

Yeah.

Shelby says. Do people normally have the exclusive combo?

Half do, half don't. But I think as a woman, it's going to be important for you to have that.

Lemon Deuce said, Any advice as a plus sized girl at a PWI looking for a black man? Stop looking for a black man and look for a great guy.

Quiet as it's kept Girl, you go into that engineering building, you might find one. You might find an amazing Indian guy that treats you like the goddess that you are. A gamer boy. Yeah.

And you looking for a black man that's more interested in his frat brother than he is you. No shade girl. Let it go.

PWI girl. Try to date everybody. Like girl, your dating roster should look like the United Nations.

Actually, it should look like Brick.

I need to stop.

Lolita Said, I love your videos about the Italians and the blacks. Girl, you saying the Italians and the blacks is killing me a long walk. Thank you so much for the Rosa.

The Caitlyn.

Houston men are the worst and where I need help. Book a consultation girl.

Abraham said, hey bruh, hook me up with one damsel. First of all not your bra and I will block you if you say any crazy again.

Chris said, your voice is so soothing. Thank.

You.

She loves Chicago. Said Mr. Anwar, have you coached a woman with a disability? I've coached many women with disabilities, both visible and invisible. Yeah.

Chris said, there are good black men but keeping it real, them white and Hispanic men go all out 100%. There are great black men out there. One of the things that we just had a conversation with in my private Facebook group that has like 160 black and brown women in there is that I teach my clients a specific strategy on how to navigate the apps and also offline. And the gag is that a lot of black guys aren't willing to do the work that it takes to get through the strategy. Yeah, so we want the people with the boyfriend skills.

Most guys won't have them, but in my experience there are a lot of black men that don't have them because they haven't been taught. Here's the gag. Many of you are upset because these guys are not showing up. Just, just like y' all haven't been taught how to date. These guys haven't been taught how to date either. Don't get mad at them. Just understand that they don't know and that's okay. We'll focus on the guys that do know how to date and that's ready for a great relationship. Okay. Harlan Harleen said, I've been binge watching your tiktoks. Haha. Love your videos. Thank you.

Sandra said, I thought of you this week when thinking of my dates. Colonize the. The colonizers. Yes. Girl. Janice said, hello, all the way from Switzerland.

Stephanie said, I'll be 45 in three weeks, girl. Don't worry about it. That's literally just an average range, girl. Doesn't mean that you won't be able to find your person after that.

Curly Em said, and we're out here doing the Lord's work. Thank you, girl.

Tiffany said, should you give guys your. Your number before meeting? I think.

Mamie said, why do men try to keep their exes close? I need the T. Well, certain men do that because they're trying to control them. It's an ego boost. They want to know that they can always go back to that them and have them. Yeah.

This is more. This is a control thing. And if guys are doing that, please know it's a no. No.

Mac Muse says men are the worst. Now let's. Let's find you one girl. Exactly. Here's the thing. 80% of the guys out there are not relationship ready. Those are the guys I'm not really into. You have to understand that I'm like working intensely with like 50 women at the same time. And let's say each of them has three guys that they're dating. I'm literally with them dating 150 guys right now. So if you're. You have one dating life, I have three 50 of them right now. And I'm like in the trenches with my clients. So I'm going through what they go through with their clients. So that's why I'm like, oh.

Girl, these men.

Oh, that's new. He said, do you coach single mothers? Yes, definitely. I would say a quarter of my clients are single mothers.

Tiffany said, is it bad? I don't want to date guys with kids, even though I'd like kids in the future. It's not bad. I'm hearing this a lot. I think I have to do a video about this, and I'm hearing this a lot from black women. Here's the thing. When we grow up, sometimes we don't get the attention and nurturing that we deserve. And we think that a guy with kids will not be able to provide that for us. But if he's your guy, he'll be able to do that.

Danielle said, I took your advice tonight and it worked. Thank you. You're welcome. Tiger, thank you so much for the Six Roses.

Oh.

Natasha said, oh, no, I've been swiping right on 5%. I know most of you all have. You have to filter in.

Lisa said, thank you for the good advice. You're welcome, girl.

123. China doll said, I have not dated in 20 plus years. How do I explain that? When someone asks, let them know, I haven't dated in 20 years. I've been doing other things. It hasn't been a focus or a priority for me, but now it is.

Og, honey Baby said, what age range do your programs focus on? I would say anywhere from 25 to 60.

Bc Said roster should look like what? Like Brick. Brazil, Russia, India, China.

That's why I was gagging on myself. Girl.

Nay Ria said, is a wedding a weird first date? Yes, it is.

Christy said, this is our safe space. Yes, you are right. Shamika said, how can we join the Facebook group? It's actually a private Facebook group for just my clients. So I'm in there all day answering questions and coaching them, sharing amazing wins, the women that are getting into relationships. Like yesterday I posted about one of my clients in Northern California who moved in with her Russian engineer boyfriend. Yeah. So lots of great things happening in that private Facebook group.

Lauren said, anwar, the black female doctors need your help. I know. I have about three or four of them in my program now. Joy said, how much are your consultations? If your application is approved, the consultation is free.

And there we'll figure out is it a fit and then I can talk to you about my programs. Yeah.

Tiger said, you're amazing. Thank you so much for your time. You're welcome, girl. All right, ladies, I think I'm gonna go now. I hope that this was helpful for you. I hope that I gotta get to my clients who have sent me a ton of messages. I have 1, 2, 3, 5, 7 messages from my clients that I have to get to. Yeah. If you're interested in learning how to, you know, get your guy, you.