Dating Q and A 10-26-23

It.

Hello, hello, hello.

Hello, hello, hello.

I hope everyone's doing well.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Happy Thursday.

How are we doing tonight?

I just finished a session with my clients.

That went really well. Always.

What's going on, loves.

Now, for those of you that don't know me, my name is Coach Anwar, as they call me, and I am a dating coach for.

Black and brown women.

I'm here to help you level up in love.

And dating relationships, Love and men or women. We're inclusive here. So if you have any questions about how to level up in your dating life, put them in the chat.

I will answer them in the order that I see them. Please be patient, because after a while, we just started, but at some point, there's going to be 500 women in here or sometimes, you know, around that amount. And it's going to take me a while to get to your question. Yeah. Now, if you want to learn a little bit about what I do, definitely click the link in my bio and you can sign up for a consultation call.

You can check out my.

My podcast, the get yout Guy Coaching Podcast. You can sign up for my newsletter that comes out every Sunday called Dating T. You can sign up for my free trainings. Whatever feels good, feels natural for you. Do it. Mindover Met said, I want one session with you, girl. Book a consultation call. If your. If your application is accepted, we'll have a chat and we'll see if we're a good fit to work together potentially.

Okay, let me see what's going on up here.

And if there's anything that I say as I'm coaching or answering any of your questions, definitely tap, double tap, triple tap the screen so that.

You know.

To let me know that what I'm saying is resonating with you. It's helpful.

Okay, Let me choose this candy because I can't talk and chew at the same time. And I have some home training, or at least I like to think I do.

Girl. And I got. I have a gummy mouth. Like gummy candy in my mouth. Girls, I'm like.

My etiquette teacher would kill me right now.

So what?

So what, Madame Hussy? Okay. Hello, Jay Clemens. Hey, denalee. Hey, Mind over Matt. Hey, Coco. Hey, Madame Miyagi. Hello, user576. Hey, loving life. Shakiri is at home sick with the flu. Oh, girls, stay safe, stay healthy, relax. My youngest is sick right now, too. And last week I was under the weather. It was not a cute look. Something's going around, girl. Hey, Ashley. Oh, my God. I can't even pronounce this. T A no, Tiara not tiara. T era not Tiara said, hey, I'm married, but I'm always tuned into your content. Thank you, girl. I appreciate your support. I really do. Ev says hi. Hey, girl. We got lots of hellos, honey. Let me see what the girls are talking about.

Ashley said, have you seen success with black? Always bet on black. Black is always successful. What do you mean? Black Gentry? How do I feel about the app Black Gentry?

I think it's mediocre at best. No shade. I mean, I don't really recommend it for my clients, so I don't have a lot of experience, but from what I've heard of them and how they've worked it out, it's a little bit better than blk Sunny said. Advice on feeling discouraged while dating it's going to be discouraging, but if you're discouraged, you have to figure out why you're having certain thoughts that are creating the feeling of being discouraged. And you have to figure out what those thoughts are. And part of this work in dating is actually to work on your mindset, right? Because there's going to be a lot of different times where your belief is going to change. You're discouraged because you feel like you're never going to find someone. What you're focusing on is the lack instead of what you are gaining from the experience. So my my advice to you would be, let's figure out what what are you learning? What are you gaining from the experience? And if you're not gaining anything, then we've got to figure out another way to date. Okay? Erica said, leveling up my myself, financially, emotionally, physically. Should I wait to start dating? No. Start dating now, girl. Start dating now. If you have a job, date now. If you're unemployed, you should not be dating if you have a job. Great. Continue to do that work and date in parallel. Because things will come up as you're dating and when they come up, you will be able to.

Heal whatever comes up for you. Traumas or triggers. It'll be part of your leveling up.

City girl said, I never get any hits on abs. Is there really a chance for us that are are 40? Yeah, girl. You probably need to be on Match though. Match and bumble might be your combination. Queen of Roses says hey hey girl ta7362 said 38 and how and where to find a man who wants marriage and commitment? Well, most men there are men that want that, but most men are not ready for that. So one of the things that I first do when clients come into my program is I teach them my proprietary strategy around how to filter out the guys that are not ready versus the guys that are. So there are marriage minded, committed guys. There's just not a lot of them. So they're both online and they are offline, but the focus should really be not where do I find them, but how can I become the woman that's ready for the best relationship of my life? That's what you can control. The other part, you can't. Madame Miyagi said I need a boost of confidence to talk to a 38,40ish gym dude. I'm 51. Find the age different. I think you're gonna say embarrassing.

Girl, what's the. The worst that can happen? Girl, ask him for help when you're in the. When you're. If you're in the gym talking to him. Hey, can you help me with something real quick and go from there and see if the com conversation starts. Squirrel, that's what you got to do. Thank you all so much for the 3000 likes already. I appreciate it. Yeah.

Joe says I'm tiptoeing on the dating app, meaning I freeze when a guy wants to talk on the phone or meet up. Why? Girl, what's that tea about? Ashley Denae said, have you seen success with high value younger white men with no kids and single older black mom? Girl, is that your situation now? First of all, there's no such thing as high value. People. Stop. Stop saying that. There's no supremacy. There's no like superiority or inferiority. The guys that you are considering high value oftentime are what I call the level fours, not level fives. Most of these guys are overly ambitious. Most of these guys don't have time for you and are hyper focused on themselves. You don't want to get with a high valued man.

Yeah.

The guys that are ready for a relationship would never consider themselves high value.

Please understand that. Okay.

I am. Fiona said sent my Jewish ginger dork boyfriend your TikTok about white men checking for black women. And he loved it. I know he would, honey. Girl, don't send him too many of my tiktoks. Hey, he might get addicted. Girl. No shade. Ms. Maya said, Guys at the bar are clearly interested, but don't approach. What can I do differently? Well, girl, you can do what I did, which was point at them and tell them to come over here. And you know what they did? Girl, they came over here. Girl, you get to tell these men exactly what to do? Yeah, do that. And this is what you tell them. You've been staring at me for a while. Am I. Should I be scared? Are you trying to kill me or are you just interested.

Girl? So then they have to tell you that they're interested in you. There you go, girl.

Call me in a year when you're married. I don't. I should be charging for these. For these lives. Girl. I'm giving you legit ways to get your guy. Girl. And you're not even in my program yet. No. Shade. I've on a set topic. Dating cops. Girl. We've been there. We've done that. We're not going to spend too much time on cops, girl. Because one, they're scary. Two, you shouldn't date them. And three, there's so many other things to talk about. Jasmine said, amore. I'm in the military and I'm struggling with dating. Girl. Don't date any military man. Girl. That's all I got to say. Girl. Are you like on location right now? Girl? Are you on this live while also serving this country like on location somewhere? Or are you kind of just like chilling at home? What's the tea? Girl?

Give me some more context and I'll be able to better coach you. Jill said, is it wrong to date two people at the same time? No, actually.

If you were in my program. I said, you need about two more. Girl. You're not doing enough. You need to Olympic date. You need a gold medalist, a silver medalist, a bronze medalist, and then someone to take the podium because one of them is going to fall off.

Having a hard time choosing. It's probably because you don't know what you want and you don't know what you need. Like you haven't clarified your relationship needs. Right? So. So that's one of the things that I think that you should do. It's one of the things that we do in my program to make sure that we are evaluating these men based on our needs versus our wants. Okay.

Salon Nina said, what do you think about blue collar men? I like them. They're like number three on my list behind engineers and accountants. They're number three and then teachers are number four. I'm married to a teacher, by the way. Don't tell my husband he's number four, Girl.

Actually, he's number one to me. But for women, that's what I would say.

Nikia said, any podcast on distant dating? No, I don't, but I think I will make a video about it and a podcast because I get It I get so many questions about it.

Was your new doll said, thank you so much for the rose, girl. Hey, Day. Hey, OG Honey. Hey, call me Cupcake. Oh, girl, not Cupcake.

Not Cupcake girl.

Where am I, y'? All? I'm lost already. Y' all talking your already already? Honey, I'm already living.

Okay, girl, I gotta find Cupcake girl, cuz she was already giving.

Okay, got it.

Hello, Ariane. Bonsoir, Mac Muse.

Akari said, I love your videos, Kimberly. Thank you so much for this confetti, girl.

Lala Loopsy Fitness says, hi. How do you answer if a guy says, when am I going to see you again? And when can we link? First of all, we don't link. A link is a kink and we don't do that. So when he says, when can we link, give him triple question mark. I don't speak that language. I don't know what you mean. When he says, when am I going to see you again? You get to let him know, well, when would you like to see me again? Put it back on him and let him make it happen. Right. That's one approach. The second approach is, I'm available Monday night or Thursday night. What works best for you? And then once he gives you the time, let him know, what are we going to do?

Yeah.

Girl, give him the pathway to take you out.

But you got to give him the space to make it happen and to figure out all the logistics. Okay. Tita said, oh, boy, am I glad to see you, girl. What's the tea? Girl, what's happening? Keisha Wilkerson said, hey, amore. Hey, girl. Ivana said, dating cops of the opposite race. Girl.

I've watched too many black 90s movies to tell you that that scares me personally.

Yeah. Jordan said, hi, Elmo. I was hoping to catch you tonight. Well, girl, I'm here. What's the tea?

Sunday said, where to find tall men in the US asking as a 511 woman from NYC. Girl, don't. Girl, don't. Just focus on the tall guys. Girl, only like 10 to 15% of the guys are 6ft and above. So you really gonna eliminate 85, 90% of the guys because you want to look straight ahead or up for the rest of your life.

No, girl, don't do that.

Girl, here's the thing. Date guys that are 5, 9 and above. 59 is the average. I want you to have a wide range here. And girl, short kings, put it down. No shade, girl. And when you're in the bedroom, girl, y' all are the same Height.

No shade. When y' all both laying down. Yeah, no one cares. No one cares. And so many women are like, well, I want to feel like protected. Girl, if he's stocked up and he's advocating for you and he's. And he's protecting you and he's telling checking people when they try to come for you, you will feel protected even if he is 5, 9. Trust. And by the way, we are not living in caveman days.

So we're in the safest times that we've ever been in. There's not much protection that needs to happen.

If you are really scared of the world, you probably would not leave your house. But most of us are doing that. Yeah, I'm being funny, but I hope that you understand my, my bigger point here, which is I want you to find someone and if he's perfect for you and 59, get with him.

As you can tell on this live, finding your partner is not an easy thing to do.

And what I know in getting at least two to three women in relationships every week.

Is your type is not your type. And the person that you will end up with, I think it's God's cruel joke. Is probably not the person that you imagined.

Okay.

Jesus said, I'm going on a first date tomorrow. He's been so nice and great conversationalist, but there's a catch. Girl, don't do this. He's 27 and I'm in grad school and doing school full time, I. E. Unemployed. Well, okay, so what's the tea, girl, just go through it and, and see what happens.

Paola said, have you seen success between Latinx and Indian men? I sure do.

Of course, girl.

That works just like black and Indian works. As someone who has Blindian kids myself, honey, not because it worked, that was because of surrogacy. But honey, the kids are cute, honey, so they work.

Hey, Talia says, how do you answer? What are you looking for? You keep it vague, you keep it broad, because here's the thing. You don't want to give these men the Cliff Notes. They will cheat on the test just to try to sleep with you. I'm looking for a connection and I'm looking to really get to know individuals and hopefully it will turn into something that's long term.

What about you See how I gave him something, but also nothing at the same time. You want to see how he's going to operate by himself?

Crown Jewel said, yeah. Being 35 in Atlanta is discouraging. Atlanta is the hardest city to date in so I can understand that. Although I will tell you, I've had two women in Atlanta get into relationship in the past two to three weeks, so it's not impossible. One of them with a white guy, one of them with a black guy who lives out of state.

Benita said, would you advise taking an etiquette course? No, no, girl. I mean, if you have home training, you're going to be good. Most of us have home training. Yeah.

Mella, I mean, let me know if I'm butchering. I feel like I'm butchering your name, girl. I'm having dating anxiety. So what are the thoughts?