Dating Q and A 11-03-23

Let me get this in order, honey. I'm, like, not even straight.

Crazy, huh?

Hello, hello, hello. I hope everything is going well. Hello, hello, hello. I hope everyone is doing well. Happy Friday. Happy Friday. Happy Friday. Happy Friday.

Why are y' all on this live? Why are you all not out dating? Hunty.

I need you out in these streets. These dating streets being courted. Yes.

You know I'm playing around.

For those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar White. I. Or you can call me Coach Anwar. I am a dating coach for smart and successful women of color, specifically black and brown women.

So I'm here because we get to talk about dating and love and relationships and men or women. Girl, we are completely inclusive here. And if you hear a lot going on, honey, it's because I had to do the dishes, so the dishwasher is on and doing what it needs to do. So.

You know how it goes. If by any chance you have any questions, put them in the chat. Yeah. So that we can.

Start really leveling up when it comes to our dating life. Now, if you want to learn a little bit more about what I do, you can definitely click the link in my bio. And it will. It has a link for my weekly newsletter, a link for my podcast, my free trainings, and if you are interested in working with me, there's a link to book a call with me. Okay.

So with that said, let me see what y' all talking about. Lex said, oop. Yes, girl, I'm calling the girls out. I want y' all to be out. I don't want you to be on this live on a Friday night. I need you to be courted. I need you to have roses in your hand like many of my clients are having right now. Yeah, as she said, I was dating this guy, but he still wanted to meet up with his ex wife. That's a no for me, dog. Emma said, that's on when to bring marriage. A little over three months exclusive. Girl, we're not talking. We're not talking about marriage until one. At least one year. Tamika said, you do your own dishes, jk. Girl, I sure do. I sure do. There are things that my partner does. There are things that I do. We have a house cleaner, but the house cleaner doesn't do dishes, and she only comes every few weeks, so. Honey, I can't. I can't have a dirty kitchen. I can't cook in a dirty kitchen. I'm just like my mom. And in the evening time, I can't go to bed with Dishes out. That's just. It's not how I was raised, honey. So anyway, with that said.

We, she said, hey, amwar, a guy who ghosted me in January. Okay, so now is November. So that's 10, 11 months. Texted me.

Should I reach back out?

No. I'll say it in Spanish. No. I'll say it in German. Nein. I'll say it in French. No.

Eloquence says, should I stay away from African men? I've had bad experiences. I'm never going to be someone to say, say that you should stay away from African men. Here's what I will say.

Nicole says, where's the best place to swipe on Bumble for a white boy winter series? Now, for those that don't know.

Unofficially, winter starts at right after Halloween, and that means it started now, which means that we are currently in white boy winter. Okay, what does that mean? It means we're going to need you to have a white boy on your roster. Like, I don't care. Girl, if you have to go to.

Bass pro shop, honey, go and do what you need to do. Honey. If we. So Bumble should be swimming with the white guys. Girl. So. Oh, thank you for the fireworks. Black holes. If you are not finding the white men on Bumble, I don't know what to tell you. Girl. Go outside. These white boys are everywhere. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you're looking at it. Yeah. Gab said, hi, bestie. Hey, girl. Zaya said, thoughts on young love? Girl? What does that mean? And how young are we talking about? Girl?

Aaliyah said, I have small kids. I can't get out. No excuses. If you are a mother. If you're a single mother, first of all, perhaps your partner can take care of them. If not, you got to fight. You got to create a babysitter's club, just like those books that you read when you were a little girl. Girl. Get yourself a babysitter's club with at least three people in it that you can call on a dime.

Yeah. So you can always be out and about. What we're not gonna do is use the kids as an excuse to not date.

Frodo said, hey, hey, girl Rising Phoenix. Said took your advice and went outside trying to get a white boy on my roster. I love it. Girl. That's so. I used to play basketball. I was captain of my basketball team for.

Two years. And so anytime we did something good, like I would make a basket, they were always. They'd always be like, good shit, good shit. So, girl, Rising Phoenix when you tell me that you're taking my advice, you're going outside, you're trying to get yourself a white boy on your roster. What I have to tell you is good shit good girl.

Crown Royal said, hey, hey girl. Ms. Jalisha said, Ladies, get out to night loves. Please do before it gets cold. Most of y' all are in cold cold locations and that is the shade of it all. Yeah, okay, let me see what the my IG girls are talking about. Only one. Tanisha said, I knew you'd say that. Yes girl, cuz I can't have you at home on a Friday night waiting for waiting by the side of the phone like we used to do in junior high for somebody to call.

Jet lagged with. Mia said, just got home from work girl. Where, where are you working girl?

Latrice said, it's too cold in Florida. Not it's too cold in Florida with the girls north of D.C. in the 50s.

Only one. Jamisha said, I'm on bumble talking to these men. Yes honey, I know that's right and wrong at the same time.

Should we make the first move when interested or strictly give a hint and a wait on the man? Are you talking about online or offline? Because it really depends, right? So online it's the wild wild west girl. So you can do whatever the hell you want to do. If it's somebody that you like, you can assume like they're going to reach out to you. So I'm always like girl, at least like the profile right? And see if y' all have a match and then if there's a match initiate. But if it's someone that's so so wait, wait for them to reach out to you. Okay.

Nick Wash 50 said, you are ignorant and am.

Ignorant for these relationships, girl. Ignorant for the healing for my clients, girl. I had two clients this week get into relationships which is really fun and amazing. One in New York and the other one is in Texas I believe.

Tasha Tashani said, can I salvage potentially having a serious connection after sleeping with a guy after knowing him for years, but just going on one date? I think everything is salvageable. I think it's going to be important for you to set a boundary and let him know that you want to take that off the table because what will happen is that it easily becomes a booty call thing and he might categorize you into a layover, not the destination. Yeah, lovely. Jody said, I feel like white men don't really like light skinned black women. You're right, they don't no shade, girl. They don't.

So you're gonna have to get with some brown men. Girl.

Yeah.

A lot of white men don't are not feeling lighter skinned women.

So that is the truth.

Mademoiselle said, should we consider dating younger, 4 years or younger? Yes. Girl. Most of my clients like 70, 80% of the relationships that they've been on are with guys that are three to six years younger. Girl. Don't feel like just because they're younger that they're not going to come with it. Oftentimes they're coming more correct than these older gents. Girl.

Muba said, I have not had any luck on hinge. Who whoever is on this live right now. There's about 200 of you all. And thank you all so much for the 5000 likes already. Tap the screen if there's anything that resonates with you that I'm what I'm sharing with you. If any of y' all are on hinge, get off a hinge right now. Hinge is unhinged and it is not nice for black women.

It's not nice for any woman, but it's especially not nice for black women.

Okay. Rayan Raynes Winter said, where are the best places to meet good men Offline that isn't the gym or church. Well, first of all, the church is not a good place to meet a man offline. Many of them, either they're too shy or a lot of them are actual, like have a bit of narcissism in them. Yeah. So. So. And most of the guys at church are already married.

Yeah. So the going to church is not a great place to meet men. I mean, honestly, it sounds really cute. But let me ask you this. Have you really heard about a lot of people who met in the same church?

Not really, girl. They might meet somewhere else. And then it just happens that he goes to church and you go to church.

Yeah.

Okay, Let me see what the girls are talking about.

Zaya said, I'm 19, girl.

Stay in school. Here's what I want to let you know. Young love is great love, but it's really for the experience, girl. Yeah, have fun. Learn about yourself. Don't take it too seriously. Even though it might feel like life or death. It's not, girl. There's. There are millions of billions of men out there. Okay.

Crown Royale said just left a date with a man from Chile. I know. That's right, girl. Was his name Santiago?

Tamika said you were the best. I love your content. Thank you, girl. Exclamation points that we kissed on the third date. The connection was there. Is that okay? Yes. Girl, here's the thing. I. My job is not to.

Share with people what their intimacy boundaries are going to be, because it's going to be different for each and every woman.

Yeah, I'm a girl who like, I had to kiss on the first date. Girl. Girl, even if I wasn't on a date, I was kissing boys in the club because I was a kissing ho. I'm not kissing ho anymore. Girl, I'm giving Mother Teresa up in here because I'm married with children, giving suburban mother of three sweetie. So I'm not that girl anymore. But you may be. And if that's you, girl, do you. Yeah.

Y' all are laughing. Girl, you gotta own your shit. So many of us grew up not talking about sex or intimacy or flirtation. And so there's like this low key shame around it. Girl, own your intimacy. What you like to do on a first date, second date, third date, fourth date, fifth date, sixth date, so you know what your intimacy boundaries are on each date. It's one of the questions that I ask all of my clients before they go out on dates. Because you need to know what it is. If you don't, you will give away your power to men. And men will try to take advantage of that and push your intimacy to boundaries. And I don't want that for you. Okay. User 514 said, I don't feel comfortable kissing before being exclusive. Is that reasonable? Well, you. Girl, you asking the wrong girl.

You're asking the wrong girl.

I think that your person is going to respect that, but I think that's. No, intimacy is going to be a difficult sell. Yeah. I want to be honest with you.

Let's see. Dr. G said, where can I find the recording of this live? Girl, I never keep the recordings. I never keep the recordings because you got to be on. You got to be with the sisterhood, girl. You got to be in the community. I never saved the lives. Hey, Charay girl. Good to see you.

Chaz said, any advice to meet professionals as a realtor in Orlando? Girl, Orlando is a difficult city to date in. It generally takes my clients around nine months to get their guy. Really? In Florida? Yeah. Florida and Texas.

Are the most difficult states to. To. To date and grow. This possible?

Yeah. Aloya said after a few months, he and I talked again and said if I'm to be in his life, he doesn't want me to get.

What are you talking about, girl? My thing is after a Dinner. This man says he is not ready to settle down. Don't trust it, girl. Don't trust it. He's got a. He's got to start from zero again. Yeah. Sometimes these guys will try to get back into your life and then try to start from where they stopped. Please understand that you have to take him and take him back to zero because he's got to rear that trust. Yeah. So it's got to be like that first date that you're on. It's just like a first date again. Yeah. Hey, five star chick. Hey, Latrice.

Authentically. Aleyah said, how do you handle the guilt of unmatching with people on abs? Should I let them know first? Well, here's the thing. I think that.

We block people that we feel unsafe with if they call you out of your name, if they're disrespectful, if they're overly sexual to the point where you feel uncomfortable, block. If it's not a match, we gotta just let them know. Men will appreciate you letting them know, hey, it's not a match, but I want to wish you the best of luck.

That's. That's as simple as it goes. Yeah. Let them know first if it still feels safe, but it's just not a match. People in the dating game know that 99% of the people out there are not going to be for them, girl.

Okay.

Okay, let me see.

Five star chick said I need to get my pasta and lobster this winter. I know that's right, girl.

Hercules, Hercules, Hercules.

Simi said there's more white men on bumble than black men in my opinion. Girl, it's not just your opinion. That is a fact. Yeah. Jbxoxo said. When would you consider giving someone a second chance? I feel like I've always regretted it in the end. Girl. I rarely give people second chances and I really recommend to give people second chances because.

I guess it really depends on how you disconnected first and foremost. Yeah. If it was just like. If it just kind of like faded away but you didn't get ghosted or he was. You know, sometimes people are like, I'm really focused on my career right now, so I'm gonna like bow out of dating or finish my degree or what have you. That's different than he ghosted you or he called you out of your name. Right. And so it really depends on how, like how the first disconnection happened. Usually if he's an ex, he's an ex for a reason, which means that he's not a safe relationship. To be in, whether it's a friendship or it's a relationship.

Dragons breast said, He's 23. I'm 27. First time dating. Lower. I think you mean. Do you mean. What do you mean? Lower? Girl.

A little worried about having to sacrifice standards.

Okay. What? Talk to me about what that looks like, what that means for you.

Message for mom said, don't let Nellie and Ashanti give you all false hope. Girl. Ben and Jennifer. Girl, Bennifer looks a hot mess right now.

Please. I think they're so miserable now. I don't know the tea about Nellie and Ashanti. They look very happy and so. But it's also been like 20 years.

Like people can legitimately change and mature.

Most people that are unhealed though don't.

Lavishly. Nick said. Wait, does he have a twin? I'm on his TikTok live now and he's not wearing a yellow shirt. Girl, yes, I am. Girl, you're weird. No shade.

Stop pushing.

Conspiracy theories. Girl, I get it. I'm on conspiracy theory. Tick tock. I don't need more of it. Girl.

Let me see, let me see, let me see.

Val the bombshell. It's hard finding white men that aren't also conservatives. I'm in Georgia. Girl. You might have to widen that radius on your app. Girl, get down to Florida a little bit. You might have to go a little bit north to Tennessee. It's possible.

Tiffany said connected with a neurosurgeon from Harvard, but he missed our first phone call. Girl, did he come back with I'm sorry. Did he come back with Aaron? Apology, acknowledgment, rescheduling. If not, he's out.

Cherise said, I feel like I can't date. I have four kiddos. Why? Girl.

Girl, get a babysitter.

And preferably one that you don't have to pay a cousin, a sister. Best.

Amanda said, how long do you recommend waiting to start dating again after a breakup?

Right? Pretty, pretty quickly.

Within five to ten days.

Yeah.

Lauren said Anwar went on a coffee date with a nervous guy today. Thought of you, gave him a chance. No regrets. Yes. Yes. This is what my kids do anytime they get like a toy or a candy. Yes. Yes. Queen latoya said, do you think single pregnancy women can date? Meaning you're pregnant now? I girl date in the first trimester. After that, girl, it's you and your bump. Girl.

What you looking like in your third trimester on a first date? Girl. No, ma'. Am. None of that.

None of that. Cherise. Thank you so much for the rose girl.

Anik said, I have a ginger and a Jewish girl. You're. You're ridiculous. You said I can't decide you. One of the things that I do with my clients is I figure out what their top five needs are, relationship needs, and then we rank the guys based on those needs. So I would actually just encourage you to do the same and whoever wins, wins. Nicole, thank you so much for the two roses. Davida said, just redownloaded the apps, taking your advice and trying to go out on all the dates outside. Good girl. Do it. You want to go hard for the month of November because after Thanksgiving, y', all, it slows down. Yeah. Jay said, I think I fumbled a potential girl. What happened?

Chaz said, I tend to meet men, exchange social media and they just go ghost. Watch all my posts and stories. Girl, stop exchanging social media. No shade. Ladies and gentlemen. The grass in here. This. That is high school stuff.

Yeah. You want to Someone said Heidi Klum dated while pregnant girl. Heidi Klum is Heidi Klum. Heidi Klum has thousands of men that would marry her like that because she's Heidi Klum.

Yeah.

Don't share socials that you're actually giving a man much more access to you. When you give him your social.

Give him the number, have conversations with them. Social. They'll see your pictures, they'll see your lifestyle, they'll see your locations.

Don't give social media out until after physical. Day 3.

Black Hole Sunny said, How do you become a client girl? Go to the link in my bio and book a consultation call. I talk with everyone first and foremost to see if it's a good fit. Yeah.

If it is, then you can join either the get your guy club, which is more of a group format, or the VIP program, which is more one on one.

Diana said, Anwar, what's the right elegant answer for a guy that keeps asking me to coffee? I don't do coffee dates. Well, one of the things I want to let you know is I recommend coffee dates so that would like. I don't see anything wrong with that. But you just let him know. Well, first, have you had a phone date with him at all? Like, how do you know that? Like, you even like this guy? That's my question. Remy, thank you so much for the ice cream cone.

J14 said, Any advice for Caucasian men who are in? I actually just did an interview for a publication in Philadelphia and they were talking about the difficulty that black women in Philadelphia have. I think that the marriage statistics is 24% versus the national black woman average, which is 29%, which is statistically significant.

Okay, let me see what y' all are talking about.

Mika Fettuccine says, do you have a podcast? Yes, I do have a podcast. It's called the get yout Guy Coaching podcast. Yeah, it's one of the top relationship podcasts in the US And I actually just did a. An episode about the five moms of dating. I talk about the five moms, and if one of your guys has one of these moms or one of these motherly relationships, you gotta run. So check that out. You can, you can. There's a link in my bio for that, but you can also just search my name on Spotify, on Apple, or Stitcher, or iheart. All of that.

It.

And just like reading all of this, y', all, I have a lot to talk about when it comes to. If we are to pay for. I think I'll do a video about this.

Cheeto said, amor, your awesome love from London. Thank you, honey. Nixon said, your smile is flawless. Thank you for saying that. And I thank my dentist for putting these fake ass teeth in my mouth.

Girl, they're veneers, girl. You know I'm going to keep it real with you.

Beetle Tuba said, Anwar. Is it a bad look if I don't share my number with a guy from the app before meeting? Not necessarily, but why wouldn't you? I guess is the question. Do you want to see if the date goes well and then you're gonna give them the number? I think some women do that. I don't really. I don't. I actually think it's easier to share the number beforehand. And if you don't feel comfortable, give them a Google number, girl. Yeah.

Victoria said, what if I can't afford to date? I'm in my 20s. If you're unemployed, you shouldn't be D.

That's just it.

Jasmine said, how long do you think one should date a man they don't have a connection with? 2 weeks. It doesn't increase by then. You gotta let it go.

Okay, let me see what's going on here. God. Lost my place while I'm looking for it. Definitely. If you want to work with me, book a consult call. The link is in my bio for that.

Shine said, you are so right about the big guys. They can become major jerks about weight. It's so weird. Yeah, girl. They're projecting because they. They're not right with their own size. They don't feel good in their own bodies.

Pat Rice, thank you so much. For the Three Roses.

Shailene Said. Hi, amore. I'm Christian and want to date a Muslim. M. But without converting any advice. Yeah, girl, I have a client who did that and married. Married a Muslim man. They had to have a lot of conversation. He was from Egypt. He was Egyptian. Hey, Doula girl. Good to see you. Bourbon gal. Thank you so much for the 10 fires.

Hey, Olivia. Good to see you, girl.

Fun me said or fun me said? What if a man is always shy and gets really uncomfortable when speaking to you, girl, that's his problem. He's gonna have to figure that out on his.

Like a guy that's that wants you, he's going to do whatever he can to talk to you and try to be with you. At least that's been my experience.

Yeah. Hey, Sassy. Good to see you.

Let me see.

Kareem at Said. No, I believe you. I'm just saying. What's going on? What's been going on? It's that a lot of guys in Philly, black and brown men, are under employed and unemployed and they're not ready for relationships, unfortunately. So it just makes it harder to date since many black women are going to be coupled with black black men. They're just not enough.

Guys that are men of color that are ready for relationships in the Philly area, which makes it tough.

Juliet, thank you so much for the heart me girl.

And the cheer you up.

Delilah Said, how do you recommend navigating dating with a child? Is it better to find someone with children too? It's best to find someone that treats you the best.

Because how he treats you is going to be indicative of how he's going to treat your family, including your children. Yeah.

JK Said, any advice for dating stingy men in in Toronto? Girl, they're all going to be stingy because they're paying those expensive real estate prices, girl.

Sorry about it.

Shea. So amazing. Why did you say not to date a policeman? Does anyone want to take this one?

I literally did a video about this.

Here's what I know. When these men are in power positions, when they have the lives of people in their hands every day, they will create a God complex and they will bring that God complex home with them. And if they're God, you are a mere mortal. And there will be a power dynamic and they will expect things from you. Right. Because they're on a power trip. This is for policemen. This is for lawyers. This is for surgeons. This is for pilots. This is for military men.

Yeah.

That's why.

Janie said your voice is everything so soothing? Thank you girl, Nixon said. Is Tinder good? I wouldn't be on it personally. Julissa. Most guys on the apps don't appear to give I can keep you safe vibe and most of them can't keep you safe. Your job is to have strategy so that you can filter out most of those guys. Anika thank you so much for the Beauty and the Beast Rose girl.

I was never a guy that was into the Beast girl. I liked the Narcissist girl. When I was dating, I liked the Gaston's of the world, honey. Then I had to heal myself.

Chasney Said, Is it wrong to want to date exclusively out of state? I don't necessarily think it's wrong. I guess the question is why? When I hear that question, I'm always very curious. Now if you tell me you live in Atlanta, I get it. But if you don't, then I'm very curious. Doula Said. How do we overcome the need to feel safe? You shouldn't overcome that. You should always have the need to feel safe. But the question is, why don't you feel safe? What's the origin story for that and how can you find safety within yourself now? Because here's the thing. Whatever we don't feel, oftentimes if we don't, if we're not able to fulfill that within ourselves, we will be overly dependent on men to provide that for us. And that can create a power dynamic that won't necessarily serve you. Krista thank you so much for the TGIF.

Beetle Tuba said. Good small gift for a guy that likes sneakers. Socks, girl, socks, hat, shirt of his favorite sports team.

Easy peasy.

Coach Darlene said, I need to go check out the podcast. Yeah girl, it's called the get your guy coaching podcast. Yeah.

K said, what are your thoughts on the dating pool in New York? I love the dating pool in New York. I think it's actually one of the best places to date in the in the nation. In the US.

Rose Taylor said, hey, I'm where I'm in Dallas and wanted to know your thoughts about the dating scene here. I think it's a bit challenging because it's in Texas, but it's not impossible. I actually had a client two or three weeks ago get her guy in Dallas. I mean he's a little bit outside of Dallas, but you know Dallas is all spread out anyway, girl. So what? What is it? A little bit outside of Dallas? Not impossible girl. Get on. You want to get on Bumble girl.

Krista said, how do you Date in Atlanta. I'm trying, but it feels impossible to find a good guy here. Half of my clients in Atlanta will get with a black guy. Half of them will get with a white guy.

The question is, are you open to that?

Mariah Said, I'm dating an Arabian man. Like, Saudi Arabian. What are your thoughts for black women dating them? They're great.

Absolutely amazing.

Bourbon Gal, thank you so much for the five team bracelets.

Shan said, okay, took your advice. First date with a white guy tomorrow. Send me good vibes, y'. All. You got this, girl. Have fun. And if. Girl, if it doesn't work out, we just.

Cut him out.

Katrina, Haley, thank you so much for the rose. Girl.

Okay, let me see what's. Girl, so many comments. Y' all are really talking your ish tonight, honey. And I'm living.

Okay, let me see what's going on here.

What if you're unemployed for medical reasons? I. Girl, I still don't think that you should be dating if you're unemployed.

Jasmine said, thank you for answering my question. You're welcome.

One, two, three. Yep, it's me. How long before you make it official? Like, committed relationship? Two to three months.

Tall chick. Nene said, hey, Omar. Hey, girl. Good to see you.

Let me see.

Moments by Jane. Good ideas to make your online profile pop. Here's a gag. Put your. Put your primary profile picture in black and white.

Game changer. Thank me later. Katrina, Haley, thank you so much for the rose.

Jay said, should I refrain from telling guys my occupation? I've noticed that men will get intimidated or weird. Girl, what are you gonna do when you get with them? Lie about your. Your profession? No, girl, we start how we want to finish.

Let that be an opportunity to filter out the guys that are not ready for you.

Yeah, if you're a lawyer, if you're a doctor, let them know the guys that can handle it are the guys you want to be with.

AP says, do you have a video on your thoughts about the sprinkle sprinkle mindset? I talk about it here and there on some videos. I think I did a video about coffee dates where I talked about it.

What do I say? I think her and I align on about 80% of the things. I think we diverge. When she starts talking about using men for money, I just think that it really makes things harder for other women out there, because what happens is that when you use men for money, men are very sensitive and will become jaded.

And I'm talking about the good guys here. Right. That are ready for A relationship. So I also think that.

Preys upon the money wounds of that a lot of black women have.

And oftentimes when we are trying to use men for money, this is about control, control, and like, how to. How to control men because we are scared of them and we haven't healed from how they've treated us in the past. My approach is to heal that. Her approach is to start using men for money to gain power and control over them. So that's where we kind of differ.

Jxda, are you still gonna do the catfish thing? Yes. I was supposed to do it around Halloween, but this week has been so crazy, so I'm gonna have to figure out a time to.

Talk to these men online and have y' all watch it. So you know how I work these dudes, girl.

Ana, thank you so much for the forever. Rosa.

Tashina, thank you so much for the heart. Maybe.

Let me see what y' all are talking about. Angelique said, can you just be my therapist? I can be your dating coach, girl. You just need to book a consultation call with me and see and we can take a look and see if it's a good fit or not.

Christa said, I don't want the pink meat, though, girl.

If it's in the dark, how you going to know if it's pink or not? That's what I want to know.

OBC said, are you accepting new clients? Yes, I am. I've gotten to a point, thank God, that I've become really popular and I don't do cohort based anymore.

I do. When you're ready to work with me, we figure it out. Not you all talking about.

It looks different, it smells different.

Krista said, I like the lights on. Girl, you a freak.

And Nika said, are you at Afro Tech? No, girl, I'm not at Afro Tech, girl.

Okay, let me see, let me, let me scroll on up, see what the girls are talking about.

Alyssa said, why is ATL so bad for dating?

Oh, Lord, girl, it's the worst. It's the worst city to date in.

One. There's a gender ratio issue.

Yeah. There's roughly.

80 black men to 100 black women. But the men that are actually relationship ready, the ratio is like one black man to six black women. So that's why he, like, a lot of black guys will treat you like shit in Atlanta because they have 10, 15 women already chasing them. They get to get away with murder because they have the luxury of choice. The power dynamics are so off. Yeah. And so that's why Atlanta is really horrible, and also it's black Hollywood. So there's a lot of fakeness, there's a lot of grandstanding and trying to impress without the actual depth which is required for successful dating and relationships. Yeah.

Yeah, it's tough. It's tough. Not impossible. I've had two women in the past four weeks get their guys in Atlanta, but you gotta. You gotta be strategy up and some of y' all have to be prayed up, if I'm being honest.

Joel said, thoughts on montreal? Girl, I'm in montreal.

I think, if you want to.

I think Montreal is a good place to find a guy if you're open to dating a variety of different kinds of men, but you want to go into. You want to date in the west island, girl, not Montreal Noir. Honey.

Q said, how do you cut it off with a guy in a kind way? Girl two to three sentences. Hey, thanks so much for the message. Hey, thanks so much for the date. Whatever. What, whatever one it is. Unfortunately, I'm not feeling a connection, but I want to wish you the best of luck.

That's it.

OBC said, are you accepting new clients? Yes, girl, Always accepting new clients. Always, always, always. Book that consultation call.

The link is in my bio. We'll see if it's a good fit or not.

Kristen said, ideas for a bumble intro message? Girl, don't overthink it because most of those guys you're never going to see in real life. Find one message and send it each and every time. Thank you all so much for the 33, 000 likes. Y' all really showing lots of love and I appreciate it. Yeah.

Jan said, what's mtl? That's Mont.

Chris said, and that meat be meeting. Girl, go home.

Arlene said, don't sleep on the pink meat. No, girl, sleep on it.

Oh my gosh.

Ash Cat said, meat is me. Yes, honey. And some of us, some of us need some meat. Honey. No shade.

Girls gotta eat. KB said, not all are pink.

Chris said, just.