Dating Q and A 11-07-23

I cheat together, honey.

Hello. Hello. Hello, ladies.

Hello, hello, hello. I hope you're doing well.

Now, for those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar White. I'm a dating coach for black and brown women, but you can call me Coach Anwar. That's what the ladies call me in my program. So we're all family here.

I hope everyone's doing well. Happy Tuesday. Tuesday tea is what I call it on Tuesday nights where just try to share what I know and hopefully help y' all level up in. In love and dating and relationships and men or women, whatever we do. Hunty, no shade. All tea here. Good to see you all. Yeah. So, yeah, you know what we do here. I want y' all to ask your questions, and I will do my best to answer them in the order that I read them. Now, if I see a question that I've already answered, I won't repeat that answer because try to keep it as productive as possible here, which hopefully encourages people to come early on to the live.

But, yeah, it was a really great session tonight in the group coaching call that I had with my clients where we talked all about.

Deadly dating patterns so that we can break those patterns and create new ones. So I think it was a really great session where so many people got so much out of it. If you want to learn a little bit about kind of what I do, definitely click the link in my bio. I have. In that link, I have a link to book a consultation. Call with me if you want to work with me. You know, professionally. I have free trainings. I also have a link to my podcast. My latest episode came out last Wednesday. I talked about the five mothers of dating. Yeah. So definitely check that out. And I also have links for, like, you know, all of my programs, courses.

Yeah. So check it out if you're interested. No pressure, though. Yeah. All right. Let me see what y' all are talking about.

Hey, Yoro. It's her. Hey. Release your way. Good to see you, girl. Where are we in your courtship process?

Hello.

Shantessa. Love and life. Hello, Delisa. Angel.

Let me see what y' all are talking about.

Hello, Dene. Woman rising. It says you look fabulous as always. Thank you, girl. Just trying to keep up with you. That's what my mom used to say. Still does.

Rashonda. Hey, girl. L said hi, Batty. Hey, goody. Tashina said, hi. Hey, girl. Rashana said. Coach Anwar. Yes, ma'. Am. Ny. Hello, Rita. Hello, El said. What are you no longer accepting, girl?

Mess. Am. Scott said, hey, we love you, thank you so much. So sending love to you all as well. Hello. Taiya.

Ambie Marie said, hey. And words. Beetle Tuba from Tik Tok. Good to see you, girl.

Dark Stormy said, how do you know when it's time to hire a matchmaker versus staying on these exhausting apps? If you're a black woman, girl, don't, don't, don't, don't get with a matchmaker.

They're not going to know how to place you, unfortunately. And part of this work is learning how to heal.

Because even if the great if. Even if the matchmaker was able to, like, bring you an amazing person, if you haven't healed and most of us haven't done that work yet, not saying that that's your reality. Not gonna work. Because all of those triggers and traumas are going to come up and create disconnection in your relationship. Yeah. So don't want to do that. Bev said, happy Tuesday. Happy Tuesday, girl. Happy Tuesday. Tea.

Good to see you.

See what you all are talking about. Kelly said, what's a good age to start applying? Applying to what, girl? My programs. Well, if you want to do the club, I say probably, like, 25. If you want to do a VIP program, I think the youngest that I will take for that program is probably 28. Nay, 810. Good to see you, girl. Young lifestyle said, oh, let me get my snacks. Oh, not the snacks, girl. Niecy said, how do you pull back on a routine of regular communication without being rude?

Girl, why are we concerned about being rude or not?

If you're pulling back, it means that you're not feeling safe or comfortable, and we have to honor that. We get to here. Here's the thing. I don't want you to pull back. I want you to either say yes or say no. Yes, I want to interact with this person or no. I don't want to play in the gray area that causes confusion. We don't want that. Yeah. Oh, and just FYI, if there's anything that I'm saying that's resonating with you, definitely tap, double tap, and triple tap the screen.

So we can work these likes up. Yeah.

Whitney says, should I be arguing with my partner a few months into the relationship? I think it's super normal to have disagreements as you get to know each other, but if you are full on arguing, there's a difference between disagreeing and then resolving and. And arguing and, like, coming out at each other. Yeah. So if we are starting to call each other out of our names, that's a huge problem. One of the things that you will need to do one of the things that I do in my relationship program is I I come up with.

Argument or disagreement rules. Each one of my clients does that and works through it with their partner to make sure that you have rules around how you are to disagree because many of us don't have that and then get our feelings hurt or hurt feelings and your relationship is never able to kind of come back from it. Okay, Tashina said. I got my first WBW match and for the the new girls here, WBW is what's happening right now. It's all about white boy winter. Yeah, Tashina said. But he's already starting out wrong asking what are you looking for? That's not wrong, y'. All. If a guy's asking you what are you looking for? He's trying to figure out like what's your tea? How are you? How are you navigating this dating journey? Are you serious or not? Are you too serious or not? They get to ask this question. Your job is to figure out what the answer is. Yeah.

Some of y' all are giving him the answers to the test. You want to stay broad and just observe to see like what he naturally is going to give in this courtship process. Some of you are like, yeah, and I'm looking for someone that I can communicate with and do really great things with, like play tennis together. And then you get surprised when he's like, let's play tennis together on the second or third date and you think that he's the one and he's really just checking the boxes based on what you told him to do so that he can sleep with you. So there's a way to answer that question and I know it might sound like playing games, but it's, it's actually really a self protection mechanism.

Jatira Said, I have been demolishing your podcast lately. Thank you girl. I appreciate that. That's why it's top 50 again.

Doula said, Hey y'. All. Hey girl. Hey Katie. Hey Heaven. Hey Whitney.

Hi Mira. Hi Rose for life. Hey, be good. Nicole, thank you so much for the 11 roses, girl. Shannon said, what are some red flags when looking at dating profiles?

No shirt.

No. No response. If a guy is giving any sort of facial pouty lips or angles from the top or for the bottom, he's doing too much. It's giving toxic and narcissistic vibes. If he is saying things about what he doesn't want and overly negative. No. If a guy is saying I'm a nice guy. He's not a nice guy. Nice guys don't have to say that they're nice guys. Those are just some of them. There's many other ones.

Yeah.

Lisette said, if a man is building his empire, how patient should you be? He's my ying to my yang. It's a great question. So is he satisfying your needs or not? That's the question. Because here's the thing.

Empires oftentimes are not, are always growing.

If a guy is ambitious, and many of you are looking for an ambitious man, oftentimes his ambitions will become number one in his life.

And then he will be number two. And then you will be number three. Or his mama will be number three. Yeah.

So how patient should you be? Are your needs being met? Because if they're not being met now, they probably won't be met fully moving forward because he's only going to have more responsibilities.

More money, bigger business, more problems, more time, more energy. Yeah. Talia said, do your dating tips apply to open relationships? 100%. Mercedes said, Ever have Toronto clients? Yes. I was actually just talking to one yesterday.

Okay, you said, are you live somewhere else? I'm live on IG as well. I always do double duty, honey. It's the type A productivity in me.

Let me find my place and while I'm doing that, let you all know, check the link in my bio for other ways to interact with me and work with me. Yeah.

Nicole said, do you recommend OkCupid? Yes. OkCupid is like a second tier of apps that I recommend for sure.

Ricassa said, hey, I'm where I changed my change my name from Beetle Tuba. Okay. Ricasso. I see you, girl. Hi, Natasha. Caitlin said, I'm having amazing first dates, but I'm not getting second dates. Okay, got it. So sometimes when we're just getting, we're having great first dates and you think it's amazing and don't come for the messenger girl, but you might be talking too much.

And if we are on the spectrum and many of us are no shade, we might be like changing subjects really quickly in the conversation to the point where the other person doesn't feel heard.

Yeah. So make sure that that conversation ratio is 50:50. The other thing that I see a lot of is sometimes a guy will say something like, oh my God, I went to Paris last, last summer. And then some of the ladies, especially if you're a type a person, will be like, oh, yeah, I was in Paris, London and Amsterdam. Feels like competition. Feels like one upping And I know that the intention is to like, like, you know, sympathize, empathize, connect. It doesn't come off that way, girl. You just gotta listen and ask questions, be interested.

Yeah. So that's oftentimes what happens when.

You'Re getting great first dates. No second dates. Yeah.

Let me put a list on here, because I think I should put it. I should. Let me know if you think I should make a video about this, because I think this is actually a really great topic.

Rose for Life said, how do you. How do I tell a guy to wear cologne so they don't feel offended?

Well, what I'm hearing is that he stinks.

Yeah. So this is what. This is what you tell them. You're going to have to be really honest with these guys. Yeah. Same thing. If a guy's breath stinks, just let them know, you know, I really like to be really close with you, but unfortunately, like, sometimes the odor, the breath.

It'S not making me want to do that.

Right. And.

Leave it at that. If a guy is serious about you, he's gonna thank you for sharing that with him because that means that you're looking out for him. It's just like when you have something stuck in your teeth and somebody tells you, like, oh, my God, thank you so much, everybody. You know? Or you got toilet paper on your heel, girl. You looking out for me, right? Yes. I might be embarrassed for 2.5 seconds and then I get over it. I realize this person's really making. Want me to show up as the best version of myself. Yeah. Jordan said, good evening and we're happy to see you live. Thank you, girl.

Jen said, love your videos. Learn so much. Awesome. Dynasty said, do you believe in letting a man know how to treat you or should he simply know? I am of the. The mindset that.

We need to observe how these guys are treating us first and foremost.

And then at certain points in the courtship, once there's been a level of investment and he has shown that he knows how to treat you, except for maybe there are some things that he needs to tweak. That's when we would call out, especially before the exclusivity. Hey, I'm having a really good time here. Here are the things that I need to move it to the next level in terms of connection. Don't do it at the very beginning, though.

Yeah. Sarah said, how to not take rejection personally. It's tough out here in NYC by realizing that these people don't know you. They don't know you like I always tell people, like, if you're talking to someone for a week, they can only know, like, 3% of you. So, like, y' all are getting butt hurt realizing that these guys only know 3% of you. They don't even know you. Like, their opinion of you actually doesn't matter because they don't have enough data to actually make an informed decision about you. Yeah. Doula, thank you so much for the three cheer you ups.

Christine said, I have a crush on my white guy friend. What do I do? Should I. Should I. Should I tell him I don't know if he likes black women? Girl, if you're amazing, they like you. I don't want us to get stuck in this. Does he like black women or not? In 2023, I want to let you know, if you're amazing, they're going to be checking for you. Yeah. So here's the thing, and here's what I want to offer to all of the black and brown women here. Because the white guys are going to flirt differently than the black guys. The black guys will be in your grill, in your face, and they do a lot of this. They look you up and down, girl. Right? The Hispanic guys. And I'm going to do a video on this very touchy feely, right? Giving you pet names. The white guys, they're gonna have. They're gonna have a, like, just a regular degular conversation with you. And that is flirting.

Please realize that any regular conversation is flirting, girl. That's the gag. But you don't know that because you think, oh, my God, we're just talking about the freaking weather, right? Or we're talking about something random that happened in the coffee shop. No, girl, he's flirting with you.

White guys don't have to have conversations with people.

These guys don't have to do anything if they're having a conversation with you and the conversation is lasting more than two or three minutes, please understand that he is flirting with you.

Okay?

Different guys flirt differently.

So flirt black. Yeah. Flirt black with these. With these white guys.

Yeah. Tamara said, you just give off amazing energy. Thank you, girl. Keisha said, we need your help in Nashville. Yeah, girl, Nashville's a mess. Don't date downtown, girl. Date in those suburbs, honey. That's what I know. That's what my clients have done and have had amazing success.

Yoli said, ever thought about developing a program to support those who have found their match? I do have a relationship program for all of the clients that get their guy in my VIP program roughly 85 to 90% of my clients will get their guy in that program. So then I have a secondary program, a relationship program that helps them learn how to be in a relationship. Even today, one of my clients on the west coast got her guys, so we celebrated her in the private Facebook group. Yeah. Every week there's at least two or three women in my program that are getting their guys. So it's really exciting to see. I was just on the phone with my mom. She's like, this must be really fulfilling work for you. And I was like, yes, it is. But it's also like all of these things are amazing and all the transformation, but maybe I'm just a little bit immune to it because it's an expectation of my program. I just expect every one of my clients to get their guy. Yeah, it's amazing, but it's also like, no, this is how it's supposed to be. Girl. Yeah.

Qual said, what do you think about dating a police officer?

I think that you should remain silent.

I think that you should.

You know.

Not do that. But that's just me.

Why do men self deprecate to women they are interested in? I'm turned off because a lot of women have a savior and a fixer complex based on some of their lived experiences as they were growing up. And it's one way to trauma bond and connect with other women. Like women that actually.

Like, are givers. Yeah. So someone, if a man is like being self deprecating, let him. Oh my God, I'm not really good at those things.

Don't be like, oh no, you are. Don't say that. Don't give him any of that. Oh, okay.

Just like that.

Okay.

Can you recommend what men Asian women should go for? Well, statistically most men are interested in Asian women over white women. So I mean, it really depends. But generally you might not have any issues talking to many kinds of men. Yeah, but it depends on what your location is.

Care Bear. I keep talking to men on apps who seemingly are interested in me. Then they unmatch block out of the blue.

Hard to say, girl, I'm not there with you. Yeah.

Sometimes what will happen is if you have like a sarcastic personality, it won't translate well over over text or abs. So like you might hurt people's feelings. Like, I don't know how you are, but I know that that happens quite a bit.

Sweetie. Fl said, I love your content. Thank you so much. Jordan said, I wanna white boy winter from these videos I've been seeing using that Jack Harlow song. I know it's so hot, isn't it? And like the hottest of the hottest of the hot white guys are doing the. The lip sync of that song, which is like, making things worse for some of us Christian girls.

Okay, Library mouse had a FaceTime date yesterday where the guy asked a lot about me but did not share info about him. Is that weird? Well, girl, did you ask about him?

Not weird, but you need to ask about him. Yeah. And you get to in the middle, say you've asked a lot of questions about me. I want to know more about you.

Yeah, you got to make sure that that conversation ratio is 50:50.

Sierra said. Hello. Thanks for sharing your knowledge. You're welcome, girl. And thank you, Tik Tok, for the almost 13,000 likes. I appreciate it. Let me see what's going on on IG real quick. Delissa Angel Said tips on making him chase again. Our job is not to make men do anything. If you're trying to make him chase you, he's not the guy. You won't ever need to make a man chase you if he's already not chasing you, he's not it. Move on. No shade release your weight set filling the podium Coach a couple of winners, a couple of bols. Love that, girl. Get it.

Taya Said met a guy at a party and we were talking over text for a couple days, but I haven't heard from him since last Wednesday. Should I drop him? Girl, by the end of tomorrow, girl. I give these guys one week. If they haven't set up a date, they're out, honey. Yeah, before it was two weeks. Now it's one week because we're in a recession, period. Which means that guys are not taking women out as much as they want to. And they will be more apt to want to keep you in a pen pal situation. And ain't nobody got time for that. Yeah.

Euro said. When is it too early for him to cook dinner after commitment? Because I know that that can be a tactic. Sure can, girl.

So one of the things that I do in my program is I have the get your guy dating process. And so for every date, I have a. This is what I want you to do on this date. Date 1, date 2, date 3, date 4, date 5. I would not be going to any man's house. I would not be in any man' car until at least date five or date six. Honey, honey, we are. We get to be courted. Yeah. Outside. And this is especially true for women that maybe are plus size, are darker skin, even trans women, because some of These men you think are being romantic, but some of them are wanting you to be home because they want to sleep with you, but also because they want to hide you. So you want to make sure that they are okay with courting you in the public, honey. Yeah. That's what this is about.

Strange Fruit says, do real men realize care or care what you do for a living? Yeah, they don't care.

They don't care. They just want to feel good around you.

Yeah.

Okay.

Ky, Satchel said, we are entering the holiday season. Is it realistic to think dates will slow down until after the new year? I'm telling all of my clients that we're going hard until Thanksgiving. No breaks until Thanksgiving because it will slow down.

Yeah, just like nobody gets a job, very few people get a job after Thanksgiving, girl. Same shit.

Jacquis said. Do you advise against reconnecting with the next? Yeah, probably.

Whatever broke you up is the reason why you got to stay away.

Turkey said. When men suggest to cook you dinner, how do you bypass or redirect? Just let them, girl. We set the boundary, right? Oh, I would actually prefer to hang out, you know, outside of your home until I feel most comfortable. But thank you so much for the offer. I'm really touched.

You always want to give them that, this and a little bit of this. I'm really touched.

Yeah, honey, they can't. They can't resist that nape of the neck, honey.

Let me see what's going on here.

Trying to find.

Shelby said. Why is no shirt a bad thing? What if I live in Hawaii? Well, there are different cultures that have different things. I just know that if you're in freaking Tennessee and you have your shirt off, that's a bad look. Yeah. Now, obviously, the culture in, you know, Hawaii is different. Right. If you live on the beach, that's fine. If people are walking around with no shirt on, that's different. But I still think that.

Just like I would not want your, as I call them, your top badunk out. You kind of don't want these guys with their top badunk out, showing whatever they want to everybody. Yeah.

Lizzy World said, should we play down our accomplishments? No.

Never. You actually. You actually want to share them to see if the guy can handle it or not, because most of these guys can't. And it's. And this is especially true for black men. I'm not coming for them, but many times they will try to compete with you. It's unfortunate, but the truth is that single black women make more than single black men. And if you are shrinking yourself to try to make him feel good. The gag is that you will only show up as the 60% version of yourself with this man. And that prison is worse than anything you can. You can be in a relationship. Yeah. Don't do it.

Opulence. Thank you so much for the rose.

Mama said. How long should I withhold the cookie when dating? Girl, it's your cookie to give or to take. I'm never going to say what you should or should not do with your body, because at the end of the day, girl, that's your body and you have agency over it. What I will do is share my perspective as a dating coach. What I have found is that it's often much safer to.

Hold on to that cookie, girl, until exclusivity. Because what happens is if you've given the cookie away, you oftentimes you will be chemically bonded to these men. And, girl, you won't know what to do. You might be dickmatized. Yeah. And many of us have the girlfriends, the sisters, the cousins that we all know that that guy is not worth his weight in dirt.

But she's chemically bonded to him, so can't do anything.

Yeah. I don't want you to be that girl because that's dangerous.

Yeah. Now let me find my place.

Now, if any of you all are interested in working with me, definitely book that consultation call.

So we can do this work, honey. And I'm telling people to, like, work. Start working with me now so that we can. You can get clear with my, like, dating strategy and everything so that you will be ready for January, because January is the super bowl of dating where you have 50% more people on the apps because they're looking for love in the new year. Want to be ready to work them. Yeah.

Mary, thank you so much for the pumpkin spice latte. Chris said, well, just drag me then. No dragging here, girl. Never that.

I'm. Girl, these hands and arms, we don't do physical labor around here, honey.

See? Twin said. Do you work with women over 50? I sure do. And you know what's so funny? That's like, when I'm working with someone that is 50 plus, I know that they are actually the easiest in my program to find their person. Yeah.

Ajax Chronicles. Thank you so much for the rose.

Jack Scrawny say, I literally just work and stay home and I don't know why I think a man is going to find me, girl. Won't, won't, girl. You're going to have to get out.

And get on Those apps, girl. And meet people in real life. They're not going to find you ladies. You're going to have to create your love life. You cannot wait on it even. Many of y' all have been waiting on it for a long time and nothing has come. Yeah, I think I grew up in the church. Faith without works, girl. Dot, dot, dot.

Yeah, yo, thank you so much for the rose.

Caitlyn said, should I wait for him to text me after a link? I don't want to seem needy.

Yeah, we don't text men, honey. Again, we are waiting to be courted. We are not courting men. Jacques said, is it wise to book a consult if I'm still on the fence, nervous about dating again? It's been years.

Well, I think you should book a consultation when you've made the decision that you want to date and that you want or need help. Yeah. So if you don't know if you want a date or not, I wouldn't book the consultation.

When you make the decision that you want to do this and you want to invest in yourself, that's when I would book the consultation. We can talk through, like what your opportunities are in love. And we can see if it's a good fit or not. Yeah.

Let me see what y' all are talking about.

Tamara said, why is it that older men just don't hold conversations well? Well, most men are not going single. Men are not going to hold conversations well, but this is a generational thing. They don't have much to say. You know, if you, if these guys are older and when I say older, 40, 50 years old, they're. You have to understand that their life actually does not revolve around community and relationships. He is used to doing things on his own, so he might not even have the skills to have great conversations. And this is not me coming for him, the older guy. It's just he's fine doing his due, honey. Yeah. Having his, having his schedule.

Would you encourage a 50 year old to date older or younger than them? Depends. What kind of 50 year old are you? Cuz there's the older one and there's a younger one girl. Yeah. I would encourage anyone that's 50 plus to.

Make sure you're healthy. It's one of the things that I think a lot of men in that age group is that they're looking at. Right. Because they're like, is this person taking care of themselves so that I will also be taking care of myself and we can have a long lasting, you know, life together. But if You're a young girl. Put that age range down to minus 10 years. Now, if you're an older 50 year old, and I'm not coming for you, but you know who you are, honey. If you're giving serving golden girls, then I would go plus 10 years, minus five years. Yeah.

The girl said, why do you guys get your number and then show no interest? Because they just wanted to know if they can get your number or not. It was an ego boost for them. No shade. Yeah.

D said, I think an Asian man in my chess club is crushing on me. Here's the thing. Those Asian men are not going to come. They're not going to approach you. You're gonna have to approach them.

And you might have to be really, like, clear with them. So here's what you're gonna do. You need to go to the chess club meeting, challenge him to a match, and afterward or beforehand, you say, if you win, you have to take me out. And if I win, then I'll take your hand and say, good game. And you'll have to take me out still. You kind of have to tell them what to do. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Y' all have. So we got a lot of comments in here, honey, so please be patient. I think I'm like five or ten minutes behind. Yeah. I appreciate all of the. The comments and questions. Yeah.

Tiff Lizzie said you started White Boy Winter, Jack Harlow and that song. Trying to take credit. The girlies know, though we do what we can, girl. There are a lot of people. You know, here's the thing about social media. Everyone takes, recreates all of that. I don't take any offense to it. There are some. There are some concepts and things that I kind of remaster my own. So it is what it is.

Marina said, is dating for marriage at 26 too young? Not necessarily. But the research says that men, especially men who just have, like a high school degree, will be ready to marry at 26. Yeah. If you are looking for a man that is college educated or has a master's level degree, you're looking at closer to 32 years old. Yeah. So it's not about your age. It's about figuring out his age. Right.

Kylin said, why are you so funny? Girl, I just try to tell my tea, that's all, girl. Camille said, have you heard anything about the Arizona men? Yeah, girl, I've heard a lot about them and I don't want to hear anymore.

I heard they're not doing much, especially for the black girls. Unfortunately, this is why Phoenix is like the fifth hardest city to date in in the U.S.

Erica said, think I missed your response. How do you feel about changing your name on dating app? I use a false name, girl. Use a name that you feel comfortable with.

Some people use their middle. Yeah.

That girl says how to deal with men who text. How is your day? Every day, this is what I want you to do. I want you, when they ask you that, I want you to go through your entire day.

Yeah.

If they really care, they'll continue and they'll ask you different questions. If they don't and they don't want to hear about your day, they'll actually stop asking you how your day was. Well, in the morning, I did this and then I was at work. And then this happened at work and I was feeling this way. And then at lunchtime I did this time. And then in the afternoon I did that, and then at dinner time I did that. Then I watched this show and then I went to sleep and I had a really good sleep. Sleep. How was your day?

If he gives a about you, he'll want to. He'll want to learn all of that and more and ask you questions, even about the long paragraph that you give.

Ace, thank you so much for the rose.

Let me see what you all are talking about. Or the two roses. Ace, thank you so much for that.

Tamara said, is a month too long to give the cookie? I generally say anywhere from two to three months after exclusivity, but again, it's up to you, girl. Do what you can.

Okay, let me see where I'm at.

And Michelle said, is there a problem with telling a man his style is outdated?

Those are things that can be changed. I wouldn't necessarily call it out, per se. Right. Unless you have that relationship with him. Right. Again, if you've seen my video this week about flirting styles and you've already established that you have kind of like a teasing, intellectual flirting style, and you've already established that, then definitely, you know, talk about his, you know, I don't even know, girl.

His mambo number five suit.

Yeah, but if not, leave it be. Leave it be. Yeah. Again, he wants to feel good around you.

Katie, thank you so much for the rose.

Shelly said, I will book. Good girl. Yeah, go to the link in my bio. Book a consultation call and we'll see if it's a good fit. Hi, Mia.

Victoria, thank you so much for the rose.

Twin said, do you work with women over 50? I do. Katie, thank you so much for the two roses.

Chris said, I'm Trying to be in matching pajamas by Christmas. Well, girl, some of it. If you're not doing what you need to do when it comes to this dating thing, then you might have to match your tops and your bottoms. Girl. Yeah, y' all get out here. Go hard for the next three weeks. Girl. Yeah.

Trusted banker said, I met someone. Yes, girl. Excited for you.

Riri Bows. Thank you so much for the hand hearts.

Let me see what you all are talking about.

Love all the questions tonight. Okay. Period. Said, where can we book in your bio? Yes. Click the link in my bio. And the first selection should be book a consultation call. So it'll be an application. And if your application is accepted, you'll be able to book and schedule a call at some point this week. Yeah.

Julia, thank you so much for the heart. Me.

Regular girl. TikTok said, is this a red flag? Dating a guy that says his longest relationship was eight. Eight months. We get to ladies, we get to ask them clarifying questions like, well, why do you think that was? Why do you think that is? Yeah.

So you can get into it instead of assuming why that is. Okay.

Everyone has different, like, dating histories. I sometimes work with women that are amazing, women that don't have a lot of relationship experience. It doesn't mean that they're bad. Doesn't mean that they are horrible. It means they don't have experience. And there can be a variety of different explanations in terms of why that is. He might not. He might have had to take care of his. His, you know, elderly parents and didn't, you know, take time to, like, really engage in it? There's a variety of different reasons. I'm not saying that is one of them. I'm just saying it's a possibility. Your job is to understand what that is. Yeah.

Okay, let me see what's going on. And it says, do you think colorism is a major issue for black women dating? I think it depends on, like, certain cities like LA and Miami. There's huge colorism happening there. In other parts, I think it's a little bit, but not as much as you would think.

Thank you. User 361. She said, you're glowing. So beautiful. Thank you. I was just talking to my mom. I was like, yeah, I'm like, not as stressed as I used to be, which is, like, a blessing. Yeah. Been getting more sleep. Has. I've added more coaches into my program so that we can do one on ones with so many different women. It's been really great.

Lachey said, younger black guys pursue me and older guy, white guys pursue me.

Girl, each and every one of us is somebody's type. And you got to know what you are, what your lane is. Yeah, I have some clients that, like, the guys that go for them are it guys. I have some clients, the guys that go for them are more blue collar guys. For me, girl, I would my type and the type that was always going for me were more the nurturing guys, the nurses, the teachers. That kind of stuff. You gotta know. You gotta know what the T is, girl.

Hey, Flora. Good to see you, girl.

D said he always asked me for a private chess game, not time so we can catch up. Girl. That's. That's the girl. He. He wants you, girl. He wants you, girl. Come back on Sunday and let me know how it's gone. And you know, you know, serve that queen energy. Girl, the girls don't know, but I was also, you know, I'm also mega into chess and.

Grandmaster level, honey, so it's one of the things that I, you know, I read a lot of dating books, but I also, girl, love is like chess, and some of y' all are playing checkers. No shade. So please understand that, like, you are the queen on this chessboard that we call dating. And many of us are not really using our powers in the way that you should. Please understand that you have all of the power and many of you all are not using it. And I just want to let you know, grow up. I grow up. Y' all have the power of the punani, girl. You literally can change the lives of men just by a look. Yeah. And once you realize that you have this power, there's no stopping you. Yeah.

So I just wanted to remind you all of that. Dee, thank you so much for the rose.

Doula. Thank you so much for the Cheer you up.

Rue Saint teen said. What is your type? Well, sweetie, I'm married. My type is husband.

Yeah, that's my type.

20:22 by two says, should we be on multiple apps? Yes, I would say.

Two.

Tamara writes it and where I have a call with you on Friday, girl. Awesome. Can't wait to get into it, honey.

Okay, let me see what's going on here.

The girl mom said, I love how transparent you are and truthful. Girl. I try my best. I try to give you. I try to have my free content be like, better than people's paid content. I want you all to thrive and survive.

In these dating streets. And if you feel like it's a good fit, if you're like, oh, I really want to work with this person. Then we. Then we work together. And I think it's a win win because I do this and so many people get value out of it. But also there are people that become my clients. So it's. It's great for their love lives and also for my business. I don't want you thinking like I'm Mother Teresa up in here, but I do love what I do, and I. It actually brings me a lot of energy and joy.

Nicole says, should I let them know I'm up front if I'm celibate? Yeah, yeah, you should. At least before the date. Three, I would say.

Book by Brit said, hey, handsome girl, stop flirting with me. I'm a sick my husband on you, honey.

Let me see what y' all are doing.

Christelle said, what about Boston for black girls? Here's what I know. All of my girls in the Boston area, they've never gotten with a black guy.

So please enter. If you are open to dating outside dating all kinds of people, you'll probably have success. All of my clients have either gotten with Indian guys or white guys in Boston. I've been a dating coach for 13 years, and I would say, you know, I get at least two or three women in relationships. The best relationship that they've been in every week. That's what it's looked like in Boston.

BooBoo127, thank you so much for the two roses.

And the finger heart.

Tarina. Thank you so much for the eight roses. Boo boo. 127. Thank you so much for the 36 roses.

Let me see what y' all are talking about.

What do you mean by go hard, girl, I forgot what I said.

Girl. I don't know, girl. I've already answered like 20 questions after that.

Ruri Bo said, I've been telling everyone about your podcast. Thank you so much. It's called the get yout Guy Coaching podcast. I put a lot of heart and soul in that and I just kind of tell what I know in that podcast. And so please check it out if you want to think about love, dating, relationships in a different way. Oh, go hard until Christmas. Okay. Thank you, girl. Thank you, Ky Satchel or Kai Satchel. Going hard means going out one to two times a week. It means being on these apps for, you know, 10, 15 minutes in the morning, 10, 15 minutes in the evening. That's what it means. Yeah.

This is not the time to take a break.

Star Cupcake. People say to focus on your education first. Then others say, use your beauty while you have it. Which one?

It's not either or. It's both.

Girl. Get that education, but also.

Engage with your romantic life. So many people do one or the other. Do both. Right? There are many women out there.

That are in their 40s, 50s, and 60s that wish they would have leaned into their romantic life a little bit more. Here's the thing, and this is why I'm a dating coach for black and brown women. Because black and brown girls are really pushed and encouraged to keep your head in those books, girl. Because you can't rely on a black man or a brown guy. So you've got to make your own way and you've got to have your own money. Right? And all of that, when in reality you can do both. Yeah.

Shelby said, why do military men go for me? I don't know you, but I know a lot of military men will go for plus size women.

Military men are. Can be a bit dangerous, girl, so watch out for that now. Karis, thank you so much for the little crown. Katie, thank you so much for the two roses.

User125 said, Amwar, you're a freaking genius. Thank you, girl. I appreciate that.

User125 said, Chest six languages. What else?

I don't know, girl. I don't know. Just living my life, doing what I can for God in my country.

Savvy Tay says, how do I identify my own red flags? Well, sometimes it's really hard to know those, but ask your sibling or your best friend. Your parents will never tell you, but your siblings know and your best friend knows and just be like, be 100% honest with me. What are my red flags? Girl, they will tell you. If they're your real friends, your real siblings, they will tell you, girl, you got an attitude. Girl, you're negative as fast. Girl, you're a bitch. No shade. Yeah.

Here'S what I know. I know that the things that you're really sensitive about, the things that you apologize for, are the things that mean a lot to you. So if you are late and you're overly apologizing for that, please understand that that is a sensitive subject for you, which means that you need to express, explore, like, those things as we're thinking about red flags, not just like within ourselves, but also the things that are going to affect you from the other person.

Let me see what's going on here.

Lao said, it's yes, it's easy to forget that we have the power. It is. It's easy to forget that because what happens is for many of these Major cities, there is a huge gender ratio gap. So usually the individuals with not as many people hold power.

But please understand, when it comes to heterosexual relationships, women will always hold the power, and you will always be the leaders of your relationships. I always say it like this, like, men can drive the car, but you're the gas and the brake pedal, and you go nowhere unless you say yes or no. Yeah. Some people say he's the head and you're the neck. You're not the neck, bitch. You're the heart that pumps blood to the brain and the head and the whole body. Can't do anything without the heart.

Yeah.

Jazzy said, I'm from Montreal and there is no one. Girl, I'm in Montreal right now. You better come to the West Island. You better stop talking to those guys from Montreal. No, sweetie.

Briana said, what does it mean when he's mean? When he misses you? You.

It means that he's mean. He's a mean person. It doesn't matter whether he misses you or not. Don't engage.

Krista. Leanne says I legitimately quote you constantly. Well, thank you, girl. I hope it's helpful.

Tia, thank you so much for the GG. The two GGs.

The four GGs. Boo. Boo. 127 squad. Thank you so much for the 28 roses.

Malka Harris, thank you so much for the thirteen roses. Appreciate it.

Cheers. Brits said met. Met a guy on bumble said, love you after four days of communication.

What did they say on Full House? Cut it out.

Pat Rice, thank you so much for the seven rose.

Marina said, how did you get into this industry? Great question. So I really have been doing this ever since I was a little kid. Like, even on the elementary school playground, Like, I would help the boys talk to the girls and the girls talk to the boys. You know, you need to get someone who can do it both, honey. I was double dutching. I was four, squaring with the girls, and then I was playing basketball with the boys. And so I've literally been doing this all my life, but I didn't really formally do it until about 13 years ago, where I was. I had graduated and I got my MBA from an Ivy League institution. And I would reach out to all of my girlfriends and they'd be like, oh, my God, my life is amazing except for my love life, which is in the shitter. Be like, me being the type a person that I am, I was just like, girl, this is ridiculous. You are amazing. I'm going to take this over for you. For a little bit so that we can, like, check this box and get your guy and then we can move the hell on. And that's what I did. And within a couple of months, my friends were in relationships. And then within a couple of years, they were getting engaged and married. And I was like, yeah, I really enjoyed this because before I was working in fashion and managing billion dollar budgets, but I was like, no, this is fun. This is fulfilling. And so I started doing that and I got certified as a relationship coach. And the very beginning of my work, I was working with everyone. And then my passion and my purpose really kind of led me to just working kind of with black and brown women. Yeah.

So that's why I'm here. So. And I've been helping women get into great relationships ever since, which has been really great.

Melissa said, is your podcast on Spotify? It is. It should be. At least. Lisa Said, I just signed up to have a consultation with you. Great. I look forward to chatting with you.

Let me see what y' all are talking.

Let me see what y' all talking about.

Someone said, should we date white men instead? We should date everybody and see who wins. And see who wins.

Yeah. Let me see what IG is giving, honey. Triplecita Said, I love your story. Thank you so much. Met a guy on coffee meets bagel. A little younger, five years younger. Really sweet to me. Not sure how to progress to our next step. It's not your job to figure out how to, you know, go to the next step. It's his. How many dates have you all been on?

K? Renee Said, I've been trying match.com for a while. I'm so over it seems like I'm running into some crazy guys that are not at all what they appear to be. Girl, let's switch it. Go to OkCupid. Girl, where are you located?

Polyester Said, thoughts on dating a guy with.

A girl best friend. They have history or maybe intimate.

Have you been able to observe them in real life? Because your intuition will tell you everything when you're in the physical space of them. So if. If you haven't, like, here's what you do, girl. Be like, oh, my God, we should all get lunch together. Yeah, be that girl. Like, more merry, more the merrier. Big happy family. And then when you're at lunch, observe the hell out of them. Yeah, your intuition will tell you what the hell's going on with that. Trust it. Yeah.

You know, all y' all know.

That's what I was talking about. The power of being a Woman, this female intuition that you have, girl, if I had it, girl, honey, I would be.

I don't even know, girl. Oprah, honey. Michelle Obama, girl.

You got to use that. No shade. And this is why I work with smart and successful women. Cuz they try to use this. This will actually work against you when it comes to love. You got to use this and you got to use this.

I call it the hut, the heart and the gut. That intuition, girl, never steer you wrong.

I think I have a little bit of it just because I'm in that masculine and feminine energy. But, girl, you have it all, girl.

And your job is to access it. Yeah. And if you are a woman of color and you have grown up in an environment where you've had to turn off your feelings, it is harder to access it. That's why I do the work that I do to help my clients learn how to align with it.

Beatrice said, should I approach men in the wild? I don't think that you should approach them physically, but I do think that you. It would serve you to start conversations.

I think, you know, people think like, you know, you know how like, guys do those, like, pimp walks and that you got to approach a guy like that. No, but if you're sitting next to someone, start a conversation not with the intention of getting the guy because that gives thirst energy, but more like I want to make a connection and I want to have fun. In the present moment, you'd be surprised how many connections you really make.

And thank you all so much for those that have complimented my smile and everything I appreciate is they're vene.

I will still accept the compliment, but I try to keep it real real with y'. All.

Here's a gag for mean guys oftentimes. You have to understand that mean guys oftentimes will not be mean to you at first because I'm getting a lot of questions about mean.

They will. They will tell you jokes that hurt your feelings or make you do this.

If you do this or you're like that, like, actually hurt my feelings.

He'S probably mean, girl. And I don't want you to wait for it.

I want you to set the boundary. And if he doesn't respect the boundary based on his humor, we're not gonna have any more of him. Yeah. Hey, Sassy. For all my life. Good to see you, girl.

Justice at your background is so impressive. Thank you, girl. I appreciate it.

My friend Simian said he's in love with you. Well, honey, tell him to join the club. Honey, my husband is the president.

I see you made it. Would you ever begin a matchmaking service? No. Never.

And the reason that's the case is because for black and brown women, there is a significant amount of healing that needs to happen while you are on this dating journey. And unfortunately for many matchmaking services, it is devoid of that.

Miss Kenzie said. Anwar, I'm almost 39 and never married or in a loving, safe relationship. Am I the drama? Real talk. Part of. Part of the drama is these men. Part of the healing that needs to happen is probably you, girl. Yeah.

Okay. Linda, how do I flirt without feeling awkward? I did a video about your flirting style, right? So many of us feel like we have to flirt physically for the smarties. For the smart girls, you might be an intellectual flirt where you are poking holes at arguments and teasing and banter. Or you might be an emotional flirt, which is all about the compliments and the gratitude and all of that. Not all of us can be physical flirts with the smile, with the wink. Some of us wink like this. Yeah. Or the touch. Some of us touch like this.

Right. You got to figure out what your flirting style is and lean into that. Okay.

I love Chipper Said. Thank you for helping us. Of course. Girl.

User. 125 said. And see who wins. New mantra. Yes. Honey, this dating thing is like the Hunger Games. Yeah. Let. Let them. Let them do what they need to do. And whoever wins at the end gets all the prize.

Yeah.

D Said. It's not your body. It's the way you talk about yourself and how you let men talk about you.

100%. Here's the gag. And this is what I was talking about a little bit before.

If you are a woman of color or an intelligent woman, oftentimes your hyper focus will be based on.

Your grades and how well you did in school. And sometimes because you didn't hear you're pretty or you're beautiful a lot growing up that when a man says it to you, even though intellectually you're like whatever, emotionally it actually touches you. And those guys that are hyper focused on the physicality of who you are are kind of like the lower, the lowest of the low. It's like no shade but like the catfish of the sea. Right?

So no shade to the people who love catfish or tilapia, girl. So sometimes this is why I work with smart women. Because, like, you'll lean into that because this is something that you didn't necessarily get, but you're leaning into something that is actually not going to serve you.

Justice Said Amar, you're the only man I trust for advice. Thank you, girl. I appreciate that.

Let me see what y' all are talking about. Your background is so impressive. Thank you.

D said, lots of men prefer heavier women 100%. Lots of men love. And I did a video about this that has like 1.2 million views.

Black guys love curvier women.

Gym bros loves, you know, plus sized women.

Guys that are half your size.

Latin guys, number one, tall, skinny gamers.

I know that when my curvier clients and I have about, I don't know, 20% of my clients that are curvier. Maybe 25% if they're talking to a tall, skinny gamer. It's like, girl, there's something here. There's something here, girl. Lean into it. Yeah, yeah. But also, like older men, like guys that are 20 plus years older than you, into curvier and plus size women as well. That's been my experience as a dating coach for like 13 years.

Jo, Katie, have you ever done celebrity matchmaking? Not matchmaking, but I have.

Worked with some celebrities. But, girl, in my program, we keep it confidential so I don't speak on names and I'm actually contractually obligated not to. It's cute and mute in this program. Honey. Sweetiezz said, love you, Elmore. Your tips have been working for me. Good. I love it. Aspen said, why do gem bros like curvier women? Girl.

I think sometimes they like to do sets at home with your girl. I think that they like the contrast. Right. If they're all hard, they, they, they like, they like what it feels like. Yeah, you got to be. You got to be a. You got to be.

But here's the gag, girl. Sometimes these G bros, they have like small wee wees, girl, so you got to be aware of that if you're a girl who.

Needs a little bit more honey, like some of us do.

So watch out for.

Thread. Summer said, hi. I always love seeing your videos. Thank you. I appreciate it.

Said, love you one more. Thank you, girl.

Neila said, please talk about dating in Atlanta. Why? Why do I need to talk about a girl?

But why?

Tiffany and Jeanette said, anwar, I'm going on a date with an Asian man tomorrow. Any tips? Yes, girl. Have fun. You might have to be a bit more assertive, girl.

Think that his quietness or his, his ability, like, not to, like, go for it or make a move at the end means that he doesn't like you. It probably means that he's just being respectful of your boundaries.

Raquel said, where's the Fendi jacket today? Girl, that's a puffer. Girl, it's winter here in Montreal. Honey, I have the winter jacket now. No more puffers.

Tyler says, do you forgive after someone you're dating throw something personal back in your face? No. When someone does that, you have to set your boundary. Has to be to let them go.

That's the worst of the worst. And it means that they are emotionally unsafe. You will never feel safe being 100% open and emotionally honest with this person.

And if you do, you've already lost yourself.

Baby Said, this is rich. I've been married for 10 years and everything applies. I surely do hope so, honey.

Yes, y' all should be dating more than one person. That's what drop queen said. I always say Olympic dating. You want a gold medalist, a silver medalist, and a bronze medalist.

Monicleta84 are the crypto guys and big coin boys red flags? Well, girl, their value has gone down. Just like the crypto and the bitcoin has, honey.

So here's the thing.

You want men who have done the due diligence of their investments. Because.

The men that are in bitcoin and crypto are risky.

They're risky.

Girl. Get you, girl. Get. Get with somebody that has a 401k, honey. And invest in real estate. Tried and true. Stability always wins. You never want to come home and realize that you got negative $5 in your bank account because he thought that crypto was going to go up by 200% that day. You laugh, but it's. It's tea, girl. It's tea.

Yeah.

Let me see where I'm at. Already lost while I'm trying to find my tea. Honey, where I'm at. If y' all want to work with me one on one or get into any of my programs or groups, definitely go to the link in my bio and book a consultation call so that we can get the party started and we can help you heal and get your guy and become the woman that's ready for the best relationship of her life. Okay.

Let me see what y' all are talking about. Bradley said my ex was a tall, skinny gamer. I can confirm.

Mm.

Minty fresh. What do you think about Dutch men? I think that they're tall, I think that they're packing, and I think that they love women of color. Especially in Rotterdam. Not so much in Amsterdam.

Cecy said, how long does the programs last? Anywhere from six to 12 months, depending on the program that you're in. Lemon Dew said, do men like mean girls? No. No, they don't. They like women that have boundaries.

I literally just did a video about this that maybe has close to 80,000 views or something like that. They like kind women, not nice. Yeah. The reason why, like, you will see like that bitchy friend or that girl that you don't really like getting into relationships is because she's clear about what she wants and she shares it with the men that she's dating, and it gives them a roadmap to love her. And men love clarity. They don't love this, the attitude that goes with it, but they like understanding. Well, what the hell do you want? Okay, I can do that. I check that box. You're satisfied. And your satisfaction brings me satisfaction. When you are trying to be the nice girl and just kind of go with the flow girl, that's boring. These men don't like nice girls. And unfortunately, many women of color, many smart women, many Christian girls, have been taught to be the nice girl. It's giving daughter energy. Right? No. Have you ever seen like a National Geographic where like a lion has captured its prey and it's kind of. And the prey is dead and it's just like playing with it. That's how they think about nice girls. You're not doing anything for me. I'm just playing around with you. I need something. Right.

So I'm sharing this because it's one of the biggest things that I see for so many amazing women that think that they have to perform nicety. Right. To get a guy and you don't need to do it and actually works against you.

Wendy said. He said black women dating and marrying white men, the way to go now. We love your videos and advice. Thank you. Just date everybody and see who wins. Yeah. I just know that most women of color, specifically black women, need to just widen their net a little bit.

December said, do you have on a filter? I don't, but I think that there's like a naturally built filter in the Tick Tock app. Yeah. Okay. Scn. Yeah. Said, when you are Olympic dating, do the medalists have to know what you are seeing? Other people that you are seeing other people. If they ask, be honest with them. Yeah. Only if they ask, though. Okay. Renee said, you asked where I'm located. I'm in St. Louis. You said switch it up. Was that the site called OkCupid? Yes.

Okay, let me see. Go. Where am I, honey? Just lost for no apparent reason. Honey.

Crystal said. Anwar, any tips on how to develop more wit when flirting? I'm more play and coy girl. This work Is not about trying to be somebody else. It's about knowing what your lane is. If you know that your lane is playing a more play and koi girl coy away.

Get coyer girl.

Yeah.

Yeah, do that.

Bunny said. Emma, you were right about the gym bros and bake als, especially here in nyc. Yeah.

Best of Brittany. How to tell if he's pursuing you genuinely versus feeding his ego.

Don't give it up quickly. Let him do everything and set a lot of boundaries along the way. Guys that are in their ego don't want to respect your boundaries. They want to just do what they want to do.

So like for example, an example of this, and this is what I teach my clients, never take an unscheduled call.

A lot of these guys will just call when they want to let them know, no, I'm available at 5pm on Wednesday or 3pm on Thursday. Let me know what works best for you. Guys that are in their ego toxic guys, they don't like that.

They'll just, they'll just try to call whenever.

See, I'm giving you a little smidgen of the tea, honey.

But I can't get you. I can't get. I can't give you everything, girl. My clients will get mad at me. They're paying like a ton of money in my program to get their guy and to do their healing work. So I can't, can't give it all away for free, honey.

Okay, let me see what's going on.

Shay, thank you so much for the rose.

Go. Tita said. Hi, amore. Is it possible to attract a wealthy man being a plus sized woman? Yes. But I want to be honest with you, it's going to be more difficult. Yeah.

In my experience.

Lemon dews as a plus size, lighter skin girl, a lot of men fetishize me. Do I have to accept this in dating? No, of course not. If a man is talking about your body, your skin tone, before ever meeting him, drop him immediately. If he's trying to touch you at all during a date, drop him immediately.

Let me see where I'm at.

Best of Brittany said, understandable and appreciate it. Of course.

Chrissy said, I feel like non black men are better at respecting boundaries sometimes. Well, I think black men generally are more like they flirt differently, they engage differently, and oftentimes that's been something that's been rewarded in the past.

And so they continue to do it.

Vic Mo says if a call is planned, how to respond when he doesn't call, you don't respond. You keep it moving.

Yeah. Best of bread. Thank you so much for the galaxy, Ebony J Said. And where is Amazing? He's brought me out of my shell. Thank God. Oh, Ebony, girl, you my program. Yes, girl. Honey, we're doing that work. Honey, we are doing that work. Let's get it.

PR by Natica thank you so much for the two roses.

Let me see where I'm at.

Janae Said met a guy, went on one date, and he sent me his forbidden fruit. It's huge. Red flag.

Girl.

Please understand this. If he's sending this to you after date one, first of all, it's a violation.

And it's in many states. It's actually illegal.

Yeah. And I want you to think about it as such.

The fact that you're asking me about this lets me know that you're not thinking about it in this way, and that feels dangerous to me.

Okay. I was like. I was reading Red Flag, and I was like, it's beyond flags, girl.

It's legal.

As in illegal.

And if. If it. If you don't feel that way, then we gotta recalibrate what's acceptable and what's not for you. Okay?

Okay. Monaclita said, what do you do when a guy ghosts you but still likes your insta stories even months after the fact? Nothing, girl. Nothing. He's out.

The real Danika Renee. Are there any good examples of dating in the media, especially for recovering nice girls? Here's the gag.

People with great relationships, you won't see them in the media.

Just like if you follow dating coaches, you will know that they are with someone, but you will never see their partner. If you are working with a dating coach and you're seeing their partner often.

They'Re doing too much.

You will never see my partner.

Unless you stalk me. But I will never show it.

Relationships are meant to be protected. Yeah, yeah.

The people that, like, have these long social media posts on an anniversary or something.

It'S too much.

Overcompensation, honey.

Yeah.

Something to think about.

Okay, let me see. Where am I? Honey?

Let's see. I'd like to move in a year. Should I still be dating in my current city? Yes, girl.

Lacy Said. Where are the Caucasian nerds at? Girl, they're at the Renaissance fairs. They're on Twitch, Reddit, Discord, Gamestop.

And the like.

Best of Brittany said, I'm learning so much. I watched your whole Tik Tok for two hours. Wowza.

Janelle said, me too. Awesome. Thank you. Definitely check out my podcast, too, if you want to continue that binge, girl, but you Might need a rest, girl. That's a lot.

Besta. Britney said, why is body count such a topic on TikTok but not in dating life?

It's. It's actually because here's the thing, the majority of guys actually don't care. It's only a small subsection of, like, toxic guys that are making this a thing. And for many insecure women that are actually going back and forth with these guys, it's making it bigger than it is. Ladies don't go back and forth with men. Don't argue with them. If they say body count matters, body count matters to you. Great. Let's move on.

Yeah. That's how we do it.

Yeah, honey.

Now, Kara said, tech conferences. Yep. And Comic Con, honey. Someone said Barnes and Noble. Get it, girl.

Gotita said, thank you, amwa, for the honesty. You're welcome, girl. I try to keep it as real as possible. Tiffany and Jeanette say, amwa. Your pocket is so good. I really enjoy it. Thank you, Kim. Kim has said I have to check out the podcast. Yes, it's called the get your guy coaching podcast. There's a link in my bio, but you can find it on Spotify, Apple, wherever you listen to podcasts.

Awesome. I am caught up. So when I'm caught up, I think it means that it's my time to go. Ladies, are there any other questions before I go? Any questions? Michelle, thank you so much for the six roses.

Ksan said, off topic. But you're pretty.

Don't say that too loud, honey. My husband will get you.

Get you.

Melissa said, would you recommend joining dating sites where you have to pay so that the men are more serious? Match, you're going to have to pay depending on your age. If you're 40 plus, you probably want to be on Match.

The real Danika Renee said, wow. Okay. Thank you. I follow a lot of relationship influencers. Makes me rethink everything I am seeing. Yeah.

What kind of guys are into awkward girls? Awkward guys.

Yeah. Here's what I want y' all to know. Some of y' all are still trying to date the varsity quarterback. Y' all need to date the guys that were in your honors classes and your AP classes. Girl.

If there's anything that you can take away from this live, take that away.

How do we share our dating updates with our family if they're all in dysfunctional relationships, they themselves. By finding the people that you feel safe with that are not going to judge you and that are not going to project their own onto you and your situation. Only you will Know what? Relationships are safe and it might not be family relationships. And that's okay too.

Happy Majora says, how important is physical attraction? Very important. Love equals like plus lust without lust. It's just like.

PR by Natika Said. You are the best. I'm a therapist and I recommend you to all my clients all the time. Thank you. I appreciate that.

Y said how to get over getting love bomb by realizing that it's not your fault.

Just like the Palestinians are getting bombed and it's not their fault. It's not your fault either, girl. You're a victim here. You didn't ask for this.

Yeah.

It's important to understand that because many of us, we'll shame ourselves and that's what makes it worse.

You get over it by figuring out what you learned from the situation. One of the things that I want to help you understand in terms of being love bombed is.

Oftentimes I will see and thank you so much for the almost 48,000 likes. You will see them giving you pet names early. You will see them over complimenting you and you know what an over compliment is. You will see them future pacing, like talking about what they want to do next summer with you. And you've only been on one date with them. Right? Love bombing is about the extremes. Even when you set a boundary and they over apologize, like they're apologizing 10 times, it's love bombing, girl. It's too much.

Yeah.

Just some things for you to think about as you navigate this.

Island. Mommy said, just want to say I love your tik toks and advice. Thank you.

Jesus said, have you ever done a singles mixer? No. Maya said amore. What nights do you go live? TikTok notifications be playing definitely Tuesday night and Sunday nights. If I'm feeling frisky sometimes I'll randomly come on on a Thursday or Friday night. But definitely Tuesday and Sunday.

Camille says, do you recommend white men for black women? I recommend great men for black women. Sometimes they're white girls, sometimes they're green.

Christy B. Thank you so much for the Four Roses. Dale Dell said. Yes. Advice on Nigerians girl. What advice can I give you about Nigerians girls?

Oh, we'll have to talk about that because that takes a.

That's going to take a whole hour.

Ellen. Mommy, do you think a woman should plan dates? Ask the guy if he wants to go out. Never.

Jamaica.

Best of Brittany. Thank you so much for the popcorn.

Riri. Thank you so much for the rose.

All right, my loves, I'm gonna go to bed.

Amanda said you look so stressed. We all need to sign up for your courses, girl. I'm not stressed. I just gonna go to bed because my I got three kids, girl. They're gonna wake up at 6am Ready to rock and roll and I gotta play super dad for them, honey.

Yeah. Awesome. I hope that this was helpful. If you're interested in doing this more, work on a more personal level about your own dating journey and want more than 15 seconds of an answer for one of your questions, definitely click the link in my bio, book a consultation call. And if you're not ready to work with me, like in that capacity, listen to my podcast. Totally free. Yeah.

Awesome. Be well.

Bye now.