Dating Q and A 12-05-23

Girl, what is this? What is this fuzziness about?

Hello? Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello, Hello. I'm trying to. Honey. I'm trying to get my IG to work, honey. But the camera is just, like, fuzzy.

Oops. Let me discard.

Hello, hello, Hello, y'. All. I hope y' all are doing well. Now, for those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar White. I'm a dating coach for smart and successful women of color. So if you're that, then you are in the right place. Girl, I'm so hot. I think I'm going through the change, honey. Is anybody else premenopausal? Honey?

Honey, I'm just like. I'm going through it, sweetie.

Lord have mercy.

I really am going through this change. Love. Oh, Lord, give me the strength, honey. Oh, trying to. Trying to. Trying to look cute in my Berlin sweatshirt, honey. Got me overheating. Hot and cold flashes, honey. You know what I mean? Maybe you don't. Maybe y' all too young for that.

All right, honeys. My name is Anwar White. You can call me Coach Anwar. I am a dating coach for black and brown women. If you want to learn more about what I do, definitely click the link in my bio. But we're just gonna talk, girl. We're gonna kiki. We're gonna talk about your dating life, girl, and what we can do to level up when it comes to your love life. Yeah, we're going to talk about men and women inclusive here. We're going to talk about dating, relationships. We're going to talk about love. If you have a specific question around it, girl, put it in the chat. Don't act brand new. Don't act shy. We're all family here. Like, really. So please understand that when we are family, it means that you might get roasted. We might. We might talk about your behind like family does with love. Yeah. So with that said, put your questions in the chat. I will answer them in the order that I see them. If you want to work with me, click the link in my bio. Book a consultation call. That's how we work it out there. If you want to. If there's anything that I'm saying that is resonating with you, tap the screen, double tap, triple tap. So we can get these likes up, honey, and we'll go from there. Alrighty. But I want to. I want to see some of these. I want to hear from you. I want to know what is going on in your love life. Because I'm nosy and I don't have a life. I'M a suburban mother of three. So y' all gonna need to entertain me with some of these stories and some of these questions. I want to know what the hell is going on in your love life. The messier the better, honey. Okay, awesome, awesome, awesome. All right, let me see what y' all are talking about. Hey, Diamond Diora. Hey, Sassy Toya. Good evening, Char. Hey, Vanessa. Hey, Key. Hey, Caitlin. She said, love your videos. Thank you, girl.

Adore dairy. Dairy said, yay, I'm early. Hi, Amore. Hey, girl. Flo said, hey, from Vero Beach. Love your videos. Thank you, girl. Uchimari says, hey, fave. Hey, girl, Good to see you. Adrian said, okay, tree, tree. Girl, you and your compliment. Mess. Honey. Honey, I had to get a black angel. It was hard to get one and bring it to Canada, honey. But I have to let these kids know you're not Canadian, honey. You're black. You're African American, honey. And this is how we celebrate Christmas. With black angels.

No, no white angels, honey.

Laura said, hey, Amore. How are you doing? I'm good. I just had a session with my clients and we talked all about childhood beliefs that we got from our mothers. It was such a powerful and deep session. I love doing these sorts of sessions where we get to get true awareness about why we do the things that we do. This is what we call doing the work. And so it's just like such an honor for me to be able to navigate these areas with my clients.

Okay, let me zoom in. Cheyenne said, hey, we love you. Thank you so much for the love, y'. All. I appreciate it. I really do. D said, I have a question. Well, girl, spill it, girl. Ash said, omg, I caught a live. Yes, you did, honey. Now ask a goddamn question, girl. I want to know what the tea is, Ms. Ash, by the way, this reminds me, Ash, her picture is in black and white. If you're on the apps, you need a black and white picture. It gets 102% more likes and quiet as it's kept every time I do this for my clients. Oftentimes the app will actually make it or recommend that it becomes the primary picture because it's getting so many likes. All right, listen to me, honey. I'm trying to help you. Yeah.

Sassy Tornado said, heat is too hot, but it's cold outside. Sure is, honey. Kiwana said, hey, I tried to delete this app, but I miss you too much.

Oh, my gosh, girl, don't blame me because you addicted to tick tock, though, girl. We know, we know. You Love those tarot card readers. Queen of swords. Girl.

Other, you know, cancer Cancers and Aries like that. Girl, I know. I know what your tick tock looks like, girl. Jesse and hey, bestie. Hey, girl. Good to see you asap. Said guy said he forgot to buy plane tickets. Now wants to drive. What does this mean, girl? What's the tea on that? Give me more context. Laura said, why are you so funny without trying? LOL girl. I don't know. I'm just me, girl. I don't know what the T is, girl. I'm just doing me. You know what the gag is? The gag is I just talk to y' all like you're my best friend.

There are so many people that are like.

You know, oh, my God, I can't believe you're so successful on TikTok. All of like my entrepreneurial friends and things like that. I'm like, girl, just girl, I'm talking like I used to talk with my best friend in boarding school, girl. Talking about D and talk about boys and talking about what I know. So that's what I do, honey. Yeah. As I said, should I take a break from dating and come back during the dating super bowl in January? 100%. 100%. This is actually exactly what I just told my clients to do. Yeah.

Okay, let me see what's going on here.

Let me see what the the IG girls are talking about. Honey. Little bit said, hey, how have you been? I'm good, girl. How are you? Journey with BB Said, the guy I was dating said he didn't want a relationship. I broke it up. Then he' said he wants to make it work, but nothing changed. Why? Why? What game is this? Girl, he was bored. Girl, he was horny. He needed that emotional support. Girl, when you bring up this conversation about being in an exclusive relationship and he says, no, leave and don't look back.

What was that one story where if you look back, you turn into salt? Honey, I think it was a Bible story. That tea.

Little bits that I get ghosted post first date. Every time I want to be out of pocket and ask, why aren't you texting back? Girl, our job is not to figure out why they're not texting back. Just own it, girl. Now what you need to do is figure out what you're giving on these first dates. Because if you're like second date, like rate is 50% or above, you're in good shape. But if you're getting less than 50% of second dates, that means that you you not rocking out the first dates. And we got to figure out what the hell's going on there.

It's therapy with Victoria Said. I just posted about how the relationship we have with our mothers mimic our relationships we have with everyone else. 100%, girl. 100%. Because our mothers are the most in. For most of us, the most influential person in our lives and the person that we have the most exposure to. I literally was just talking about this. This feels like deja vu, girl.

Hey, doula girl. Jvxoxo hey, I'm already for the holidays. I see. Yes, ma'. Am. Honey, last week we put this tree up. Honey. The ritual, the tradition in our family is we decorate the tree and we watch sister act. So that's what we did, honey.

Farah north said. Any tips for the college girls? Oh, my God, yes. Girl. Don't hang out in the girl, hang out in the engineering buildings.

Hang out in the business buildings. Even in the architecture buildings. Don't hang out in the humanities buildings. Girl, don't hang out in the performing arts buildings. Honey, if you're a black girl and you're in college, study abroad, study abroad, have a lot of boyfriends abroad so that you understand that people are actually checking for you. Because when you go to college in the U.S. oftentimes you won't think that people are living for you and they are. Preferably go to Europe, right, and do one of those back packing trips like all the white girls and all the white boys do, honey, right? Let's say you're in. You go and you are. You study abroad in France for a semester. Girl, you better be going to a country every two weeks. Use some of that fast. First money, honey. And girl, get a boyfriend in every country, sweetie. Yeah. You want to know why I'm fluent in six languages? It's because for every place I went to, I always had five boyfriends. And I want the college girls to do the same when they're studying abroad. Okay. I hope that's helpful. All right, let me see what y' all talking about here on miss Tick tock. Honey. Brianna said, hey, I'm wearing the ladies. Hey, girl. Mama bear said I'm dating a police officer.

He has been so kind and is God fearing things to look out for.

Well, how long has it been, girl? Because.

What you will want to see is how he disagrees. You're going to need to set boundaries with them. Don't let him do anything and everything that he wants to do. Right? So if you're setting boundaries with him, it is in the response to his boundary and your boundaries that you will get to see whether he can actually take that or not. Because many police officers think that they're gods because they literally have the lives of people in their hands every day. So you want to just check out for that? Okay.

Stella Star said, yay. It's been a while since I've caught you live. Yep. Sherry said, hey, Coach. Hey, girl. Tati said, literally, love you. Thank you, girl.

Ash said, can we call you Coach A also? Girl, call me whatever you want. Just don't call me late for the party, honey. That's all I know. K said, y', all, why did this guy I'm talking to send me glue by Usher? Girl, what is that?

BBP Cake? Said, hey, Coach. Hey, girl. Nessa said, should I take a break? Okay, I already answered that.

Hi, Manot said, coach, when is it too soon to move on? Well, it depends on what you're trying to move on from. So do you want to give me some info on that? Coach G said, what about dating retired or former cops? Again, it's girl, proceed with caution.

It's hard to tell, girl, because we don't know what they saw on the job. Honey, were they a desktop or were they in the danger zones? Girl yeah, there's PTSD that happens in jobs like this that oftentimes they will bring home. So we have to wait and see. Hey, Chrissy, girl, Flo said, any advice on how to communicate to a guy in long distance? Yeah, every day. Texting as well as calls. At least three calls a week. If it's less than that, then he doesn't give a shit about you. No, Shade. If y' all are talking every day, great. But you need to see him in the first four to six weeks. If that doesn't happen, he's not making it happen.

Okay.

Ash. Barry said, I've asked questions, but you didn't respond. Ask them again. Girl, there's no Shade over here. Krista said, how do you deal with dating fatigue? I'm tired of trying to find the one. Take a break. Don't power through. Powering through is the worst thing that you can do. I know that you. Many of us have been taught to just power through and, like, ignore our bodies and ignore our hearts. Don't do that in love. Please don't do that in love. It never works. Hey, Latrice girl, good to see you. Dee said, help. I was talking to this guy for a bit and he started seeing someone else and now he's back.

What do you need? Help with. Girl, are you going to take him back or not? And if so, why? Here's the thing. Here's what I know.

My your future husband will never do that to you.

That's all I gotta say on that. Lauren said hi, had a date on Saturday. We've been texting but no second date set up. Should I wait? Yeah, he I girl, give him a week from Saturday. So if you don't hit anything from Saturday, girl, let him go.

Maya said, what's the super bowl of dating? The first two to three weeks of January where people are trying to get love in the new year and they have their New Year's resolution so they're on the app. So there's like 50% more people on the app. Squirrel. It's the super bowl of dating.

Go.

Rose said, I have a huge crush on my boss. Girl, not 50 shades of gray. Honey, how can I tell if he is interested or he is just being kind? Well, girl, I'm someone who really doesn't. I recommend not engaging anything love related when it comes to work just because oftentimes women will be reputations will be completely put through the mud and at work your reputation is everything. So.

Girl, I would say y' all need to work in different places to get into it and if you are questioning it, it means that the professional boundaries are not where they need to be. And that's a problem.

Yeah, and it makes me think.

It makes me question his motives and like his his thought process around anything and everything.

Okay, let me see what y' all talking about. My list. You're my fave. Thanks, girl. Melissa said he messed up. I genuinely asked for an apology gift. Don't ever ask for gifts. And told me why I'm being like that and was too much.

Well, how did he mess up? Girl, Kesa said, I just got out of a five year relationship. Do you have any advice? I feel like I forgot how to date. Girl, get my dating strategy course. That will help you quite a bit. But I guess the nature of what I want to know from you is what did that five year relationship look like? Because if it was a narcissistic relationship, you probably will need a little bit more time to heal. If it was it a marriage or was it not a marriage. If it wasn't a marriage, then I need, I need you all to know that if you're in a relationship for more than two years, that's a boundary violation. You should be engaged or married by then. If not, you will never be married and you are wasting Time with a guy. So please understand that that might be an opportunity for your boundaries, girl. Okay.

Okay. Imani said, what's the max amount of days to talk on an app before you move on? Are you giving the number before a date is set? I generally think that you should. I think that if y' all can't get off of the app within a week, girl. We're playing pen pals, girl. And it's not cute.

Nisha said, should I text why I'm pulling back or just pull back? Well, it depends. Why are you pulling back? Because you might be pulling back for no goddamn reason. No shade. Right. Why are you pulling back? And how long have you known this guy? Because it depends. If you just had one date with him, that's one thing. If you've had six or seven dates with him, it's another thing.

Yeah.

Hannah said, do you have any advice for dating outside of the dating apps? Of course I do. So one thing that it's really important for you to do, you need to go out at least one to two times a week if you really want to date offline. That's what it's going to take in a level of consistency. And I always. One of my videos that I did, I talked about TT1G talk to one guy everywhere you go. If you do this for three months, you will have a boyfriend. But most of us want to act shy and brand new. If you go to the mall, talk to one guy. If you go to the bank, talk to one guy. One guy. One guy a day. Yeah. If you, you know, this is about practice, but this is also about making connections. Yeah. Do the things that you love. Right now, if that's Pilates, girl, you're only going to meet other women and gay men. You want to also go to different places where there are actual straight men there that want to be with you. Yeah. So that's what I would say.

Morning, bear. Does your relationship with your father affect your dating life, good or bad? Yes, it does for sure. But the interesting thing is, especially for black women, it is your mother wound and relationship that actually is much more important. I think a lot of people think, oh, my God, it's daddy issues. Most of the time it's actually mommy issues because black moms are often in their masculine energy. And your love life is about your relationship with the masculine energy in whatever form that comes in. And oftentimes it will come from your mother. Erica said, advice for single mothers.

Step back, sit back, don't do anything, and let these guys do everything. Also, please understand that being a single mother is an amazing thing to do and to be in your love life because, like, when you let people know what your situation is, it will actually scare a lot of guys off. The guys that are unserious and attract more of the family men. Yeah, I think people think, you know, because they're listening to dead Kevin Samuels saying, and he died alone, by the way. Oh, my God. If you got a baby, you know, your value is less than girl, your value is not less when you have a baby. Right. I just. I want to offer that to you as someone who had two babies and it was the best filter possible.

Blaine said, divorce man, question mark. I would go with a divorced man than a man who's never been married.

Because at least he values the institution and has committed before.

Yeah.

Let me see what y' all are talking about.

Vindy said, advice after my boyfriend goes through my phone while I'm sleeping. No advice here because you don't have a boyfriend anymore.

You have an FBI agent.

Cat said, I have lost 90 pounds in 18 months and just getting back into dating. I'm struggling with confidence. Why is that, girl? What do you think is going to happen? Girl, you lost 90 pounds, girl, what's the tea? No shake. Girl. This is what I tell my clients that feel like they just need to potentially lose more weight or they don't have confidence or they don't think that they can get a guy if they're curvier, if they're plus sized. Please understand that. Honey, I watch TLC all day, every day. And those girls on 600 pound life, girl, they always got a man. It's not about the size.

Yeah, you got to know that you're that girl.

Girl, confidence wins. Doesn't matter. Your size doesn't matter. Your skin color doesn't matter, your gender assigned or otherwise. For my trans girls out there, confidence wins. Always has, always will. That's why sometimes you'll see that girl who's like, not drop dead gorgeous, but she has a gorgeous man because her confidence is off the charts and he's gagging on her. And now you're like, Sometimes the girls are like, how did she get him? Girl? Confidence, honey. Confidence.

Ora Lynn said, do you recommend paying for dating apps? So I think that.

You should wait two weeks before you pay for any dating app, because some of these dating apps will give you a lot in the first week and then it'll be like a Sahara desert in the second week. So you want to make sure that you have A consistent number of leads coming through before you pay for them. But oftentimes bumble will be good. If you're traveling a lot, you want to pay for it. Match. Depending if you're 45 plus, you probably want to pay for match too.

Brandy said, I just love you. Thank you, girl. Giselle said, ways to catch a guy's attention on Insta. Girl, let's not try to catch guys attention on insta. Let's just do us.

Yeah. I don't want us chasing men.

Yeah. Ma said, how did you get into this field? I really been doing this since I was a little boy in the elementary school, girl. I was double dutching with the girls, honey. And I was girl balling with the boys. And you know, they always used to be like, oh, can you hook me up with this girl? Oh, I really like this boy. So you know me, girl between girl. I always bringing them together. It wasn't till I had gotten my MBA from an ivy league institution and I was like, reaching out to all of my girlfriends that I graduated with and I like, oh, my God, girl, how's life? We're trying to catch up. And they'd be like, oh, my God, love my job, love my new home, love my car, Travel six times a year, girl. My love life is I'd be like, girl, that's ridiculous. You're amazing. So me and my type A ass would be like, girl, I'm just going to take this over for you. Boys are simple. And that's what I did. This was like, you know, 14 years ago. And before long, they were getting into relationships within a couple of months and then getting engaged within a couple of years. And I was like, yeah, I really like this because before I was like, you know, managing billion dollar budgets for fashion companies. And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna do this. That's when I really started doing it more formally. And I've been doing it for the past 13 years now. Yeah. And I love it. Like, every week I have at least 1, 2, 3 women that are getting into great relationships.

Let me see what y' all are talking about.

T. Saucy said, any dating coaches? You can refer to lesbians and queer women. Yes, I have a coach name. I'm talking to a coach. Her name is Randy. I'm actually going to bring her on to my company. So. But I work with lesbian, queer, trans, CIS women. I. I work with everybody. Yeah.

Bree said, can you talk about how you help women heal? I can't tell if that's where I would need to start from. If you're a black woman, that's where you got to start from. Because you have to understand that your lived experience, there are three parts to us. There's a healthy part, there's a traumatic part, and there's a survival part. And for the white girls, they have more healthy parts because they were not in survival mode for many of their lives. For a lot of their lives, us as people of color have been in survival mode. So we have a lot. If you think about it as a pie, right? We have a lot of survival, a lot of trauma, and like, you know, healthy parts. Think of it as a third, a third, a third. Whereas a lot of these white Girls are like 50% healthy, 25% survival, 25% trauma, right? So that's the work, right? When we, when we focus in on the trauma and the healing of that and the survival, you're going to expand your healthy parts.

Brandy said, is the lawyer a no go? Well, girl, it's a no go. It's a. It's a yes go. If you like to debate and argue all the time. I don't, I just want peace. I don't want to argue about what we're going to watch on television and I don't want to argue about what we're going to eat for dinner, honey. And I don't want to argue about where we're going to take the kids to school and all that stuff. Girl. With the lawyer, that's what you're going to do.

Yeah. Christina said, are the firefighters the same? The same advice for the cops? Yes, ma'. Am. Yes, ma'. Am. Don't let that red fool you, honey.

Kaden said, it's a song glued by esa. Oh, girl.

Girl, I'm too busy with my clients. Girl. I don't know what songs Usher is coming out with these days. Girl. Jack said, are your views the same for corrections officers? Yes. Girl.

Oh boy. Said, why do I keep linking with liars, secret wives, girlfriends lying about age? Do you have a dating strategy to actually evaluate whether they're lying or not? If not, you gotta get one. Girl.

Most women don't have a dating strategy and then they are, like, confused about why is this not working well for me? Or they were never taught how to date. Especially if you're a black woman. Yeah, girl. If you were never taught how to perform surgery, you won't know how to do it right. So please understand that we have to learn these things. This is why I'm a dating coach, specifically for black and brown Women.

In laid back. I said, should we stay away from truck drivers? Girl, you don't need to stay away from truck drivers because they're, they're staying away from you, girl. That's why they have other families in other states. Girl, you don't have to stay away from them. They're already driving away from you most of the time anyway.

Sunny said, I know you swore off surgeons, but I was asked out by a surgical resident. Should I go? Yeah, girl, have fun, girl, but don't. It's not going to go anywhere. A resident, girl, his eyes are going to be closed while he's eating out with you.

No time, no energy.

And guess what? Everything is going to be based on his schedule and not yours.

Exactly. Casey Devine has it. She said, see how these cops act when you. When they are told no, girl.

He might handcuff you.

Nilly said, I think this man I've been seeing is bi. How to approach this without outing or upsetting him? Girl, I just did a video about this. Ask him to check his fingernails. Girl, if he does this, he's straight. If he does this, he's gay. If he does this and this, he's bi.

Oh, Lord. Sarah said, this man I'm dating gifted me with a Louis Vuitton bag and it's a fake. Do I call him out on it? No, girl, just give it to somebody else. If you don't rock fake, thank him for it and give it to someone else. Honey. Girl, it's a thought that counts, but you don't have to rock it, girl.

And if he's. Next time he asks you, you know, he says he wants to get you something, let him know you that you want to shop with him in the store.

Yeah.

Joy says, tips for a black American woman dating Nigerian men in the U.S.

Should I give you tips or should I give you warnings?

Ladies, the 788 women on TikTok and the 39 women on IG. Can you share your Nigerian experiences, please?

Girl? Joy, I want you to. I want you to hear what the girls are saying here. Honey, we're going to crowdsource these Nigerian men so that you know what the tea is and what the tea is not.

Girl, I was watching a video today and somebody was saying Nigerian men are everything. It was like a kind of like a dating coach or an influencer. And I was like, girl.

Where are you.

And on what planet? On what continent?

Girl, I have. I have clients in Nigeria now, girl.

Shade have clients in Houston, which is little Nigeria. Shade, I have clients In Atlanta, which is big Nigeria shade.

Right? Girl.

I can't wait to. I can't wait to. I can't wait to read about it all, honey.

And just FYI.

If you want to work with me in a more serious light, definitely click the link in my bio. Book a consultation call. I think I'm going to be taking clients for another week or so. And then. Girl, I'm off December 15th, girl, vacay. So I don't, I don't see myself taking on more clients for the new year. So if you want to start back up in January, you want to maximize the super bowl of dating with me. Girl, book that call now. Girl. Don't act brand new.

Sandra Queen Nefertiti said, very hard to find a man in Montreal. Any advice? Yeah, girl, I'm in Montreal. Girl. Do you date on the west island? Are you downtown or in the east? Girl, don't be dating in Montreal. Noir or Hoch Laga, sweetie.

Shivali said, coach, do you have advice for people who are introverted but want a day? Yeah, girl.

Girl, start online. Do a little bit each day. Five or ten minutes in the morning, five or ten minutes in the evening. Yeah.

And when it gets too overwhelming, just stop the apps. But here's the thing.

Many introverts are actually okay with one on one interaction. It's when there's like a lot of people or a group where the energy is expended a lot. So you're gonna have to have tremendous boundaries when it comes to apping and dating. Right? That's what I'm saying. A few minutes in the morning, few minutes evening. Not too much. Okay.

Unknown said darting your ex. Yes or no. Girl, the Lord knew that that was wrong. That's why the Lord made this typo. Girl. Yeah. Girl. Darting your ex. Don't date your ex. Girl, that's why you couldn't even type it right. No shade. Don't do it.

Thank you for the hat. Girl. It's giving junior high straight tea. Well, I used to give. Girl, I don't give any more. Obviously.

Breathe. A goat said, what's too short or too long to wait for a ring? Girl, I would not be with a man for more than two or two and a half years if I don't have a ring by then. Girl.

He won't. He won't ever see my hands.

Madison Reese said my white co worker in parentheses. Croatian. That's good for the black girls. Croatians and Serbs, honey.

Yeah. Has been coming on very flirty, but I don't know how to flirt with white men. Girl, why are you acting like he's an alien? How do you flirt with black men?

Girl, it's the same shit.

It's the same shit.

You're acting like it's 1950s now and you can't talk or look in the eye of a white man. Honey.

Girl, this is no separate but equal. Girl, he's flirting with you now. You own him. Step into your queen energy. Okay.

ADN said, how should I approach my crush? I think he likes me, but I keep self sabotaging because I'm shy. We don't approach our crush. We let our crush approach us. If he likes you, he'll approach you. Girl.

6Am Society. What do you think of the book why Men Love Bitches?

Honey, I have like 500 books here that I read all the time. Where is my bitch book.

Anyway? I have two. I have two of the books, actually.

I think it's. I think it's good. I think it's good. I think the title is like really catchy. But there's really great shit in that book.

Sweetie. ZZ hey, Amar. Been seeing a guy for a couple of months. Thank you for this cowboy hat.

A couple of months and we don't seem to have compatible life goals and values. How do I tell him we're not a match, we're not exclusive and have not been intimate? We let him. We just let him know, hey, it's been great getting to know you. I'm not feeling a connection, but I want to wish you the best of luck.

Text that to him now. Girl, don't wait. Breathe. A goat said. He's right. I dated an athlete when I should have been in the engineering building dating them. Girl, these college athletes, most of them are not going to the pros anyway, girl. And guess what? Because they're athletes, they don't even have time to get good grades at school. So they're not even going to get a great job when they graduate.

Girl, don't date a college athlete. Worst of the worst. It's therapy with Victoria Said. Ooh, I stayed in the humanities building. And baby, that's the best advice ever. Yeah, girl, don't do that. Don't do that, honey. Don't do that, honey. You get with some. Some writers, some poets, girl. The poetry is cute, girl. But guess what?

You can. You can get a book. You don't. You don't need a poet.

Yeah.

Okay, let me see what you're all talking about on Tik Tok here. Then I'll go back to IG.

Chef Said. Currently divorcing a narcissist. Congratulations Chef Drea. I hope you're having a party about this. I'm healing but afraid of the new dating world. Any advice girl? Nothing scarier than that narcissist that you're leaving. Girl, the dating the dating world is going to be a piece of cake compared to that trust.

Drea Said. Why does he move too fast calling me Mrs. In the first week? Because he's trying to love bomb you. Let him go. Inappropriate.

Sierra said. Should we delete our account and make new ones in the new year or just go on pause? It really depends. I would say create a new profile or account if you have been that girl that has just been focusing on one type of guy, specifically just black guys, because the algorithm will just give you that. But if you've been if you've had your net wide open and you've been engaging in a lot, talking with a variety of different men, just put it on pause. Okay?

A Cole Sharice Said. I just found out I've been part of a roster. So tired of these men. Girl, what's wrong? What's wrong with that? Guess what? Be part of his roster. But you need to have a roster of your own. I call it Olympic dating. You need to have a gold medalist, a silver medalist and a bronze medalist. If you don't have that girl you're not dating.

You're just a lady in waiting. Yeah, don't get mad because he's dating. Girl you date too.

Someone said. Username Dope AF Tips for the work from home girlies that don't get out much. I became a homebody after the pandemic. Girl work from home. Don't date from home.

Like you're gonna have to fulfill your life. You're going to need to be well rounded because here's the thing.

If you work from home and you're not doing anything and just home all day every day and I'm talking to someone who literally is like that, you won't have anything to talk about when you actually go out on these dates.

Make your life fun.

What are fun things that you've always wanted to do? Do those things.

Yeah. Okay, let me see what's going on here.

Lost my place.

Yes. Honey adrian said. Wwa white woman audacity. Honey.

Booked by brit said amworth is on one tonight. I love it. Why do you girl, I'm always on girl, I'm not on one. I'm on two.

T Saucy Said and why I did not know he was this damn funny. Yeah, girl. Cuz I try to keep it cute for my videos, girl. Trying to give that expert tea, but girl, I'm like one of the girls, girl. You know, you know how it goes, girl.

Jasmine said, do you have a different approach for plus sized women?

Not necessarily. Boundaries just need to be like, stronger and healthier, that's all.

Fairy Charm said, what's your take on dating Sikh men? Sikh men will make you sick. Sikh men.

Actually aren't necessarily looking for a lot of black women, specifically, in my experience.

And they can be quite traditional in gender roles. So something to think about as you're considering them.

JB said, I like your shirt. My name is Ida. Hi. Yes, girl, you're a white Ida. This is Ida B. Wells, sweetie. Yeah.

The goat.

D. Nikki said, ain't he though. I know y' all wrong for that.

Let me see. Let me see what's going on here. Kai said, going to her friend's corporate X miss party this weekend. Advice for attracting the single finance guy. Girl, just talk to them. And here's the thing about these guys, because I went to business school with all of them, girl. They're all lame. Finance guys are lame. All they do, they're on Excel all day, every day. They don't have an original thought to themselves. And all you have to do is treat them like you. Oftentimes you will never hear me say, like, treat guys like shit. I'm saying give these guys a lot of shit. Yeah. Like really give it to them. They love that. Yeah. So if you have that in you, do that and have fun with it.

Janelle says, how to be that girl rather than just a girly girl. Girl. Here's the thing. Girly girl is princess energy. That girl is queen energy. Princess energy is like, you know, like, really wanting men's attention. And queen energy is, like, basking in the fact that you know that you're that girl and that you. You, like, do things for yourself and not for men. Yeah, that's what being that girl is all about. It's about your pleasure. It's not about the pleasure of men. And it's really hard to get in queen energy when many women have been conditioned and programmed to perform for men. Yeah. So that's what that girl is all about.

Guts girl said, what can we do about Atlanta's dating scene? Move.

I was thinking about doing this video tomorrow about operational sex ratios, the black ones. Because what the deal with places like Atlanta, Houston and D.C. proper is that the gender ratio is so off for black women. Like there are six to eight black women that are ready for a relationship for every black man that's ready for one. So you got. He's got a harem girl. He doesn't have to treat you like a queen when he has eight women that will allow him to do whatever he wants because they just want a guy. That's what makes Atlantis so difficult.

User 429 said, where to look in the South Shore girl? Shadig Bosa.

Krista thank you so much for the finger heart.

Sid said, where is he reading these questions? I'm reading them on the screen, girl. But the gag is that there's almost 900 of you all and one of me. So I'm going to be like five or ten minutes behind. Cat said, any tips on dating a Japanese man? Girl? Learn some cute Japanese girl. Watashi wa iwa desu. Yeah. Konnichiwa. Give him that girl. Yeah, Give cute a little bit of Japanese girl. Because if he's serious about you, he's going to introduce you to the family and it's really about the family's approval. So you got to give lots of formality. You're going to have to give lots of politeness girl. And that's, that's how you will win.

Rans Mini said, he isn't approaching me. Should I approach him in person? Who is this guy? Where do you see him? Is this something at work? Is something at school? You got to give me more information. Rans Mini, Krista, thank you so much for the cheer you up. What does your shirt say? It says Ida, Maya, Fanny Lou, Harriet Sojourner. Queens queen girl.

Pink tea tree said I love you. You are so funny and helpful. Thank you girl.

So Mar said he ate that girl. I forgot what I ate.

Michelle said, how young or how old should you date? I always say plus 10 years minus 5 years. Most of my clients this year have gotten with guys that are three to six years younger than they are like 70. Almost 80% of my clients. So don't shade the young guys. Girl. They're coming correct. They're coming correct. More correct than these older guys that are stuck in their ways and just stuck in the muds. Sticks in the mud, honey.

Ty Young Smollett said, I'm in a situationship for almost a year now. We had the talk. Now what? Girl get out of the situationship.

There is no talk to be had. A man that won't get committed to you within the third month is not a man for you.

You're A placeholder. And you're. You're better than that. And there are men that will exalt you as a queen. And right now, you're accepting crumbs like a peasant. And I'm not saying that to come for you. I'm telling you this to give you this perspective so that you understand that you're worth more than this. And I understand that the attention feels good and it's validating, but you are worth more. You need a guy that's a nine or a ten. And right now you're accepting level six behavior.

Okay, I'm saying this with love and respect.

For you and anybody else that needs to hear it.

Sequoia said, love you. Thank you, girl.

Traneca said, interracial dating question. Have you heard of the bad wig theory? Yes. I'm going to do a video about that, but it's not about the wig. Because I want y' all to know that.

These women that are wearing bad wigs often have makeup that is also jacked up. And I'm not coming for them. I'm just saying that they are a creature in and of themselves. And when you're dealing with wealthy men, like, the mundane, everyday stuff bores them.

So you're. You have to be extra interesting. And when he sees someone that is extraordinary, like, extraordinary, he's going to be engaged with that. But please understand that these wealthy men also have interesting sexual proclivities. So they're into some kinky shit. So please understand for the girls that are always like, I want a wealthy man, I want a wealthy man, girl. Talk to those guys, those girls that go to Dubai and talk about what they got to do over there. Right? So understand that there are trade offs here. But it's not just about the bad wig. It's about the energy, the confidence. Because it takes a level of confidence to wear that wig and think that you rocking something, girl. Also, the makeup that sometimes is jacked up, like, right? So please understand that there is something else going on that's radiating. It is an energy of, I don't give a shit about this world, and I'm gonna do me. And that is what is so attractive. Yeah, there's also this. There's a. There's a femininity that happens here. Right. That most of the women that do rock this look have. That is attractive to wealthy men.

Shawana said, Bumble has been disappointing me, shaking my head, where are you located, girl? You probably get on OkCupid too, and see what's working out with that. Amelia. Thank you. So much for the rose.

Tips for Indian girls. Well, girl, it depends. Where are you?

Because an Indian girl in the Bay Area is different from an Indian girl in Houston. It's different than an Indian girl in Europe or Africa.

Sopa. Say, Amar, you got to make a video on what you mean by January is the Olympics.