Dating Q and A 12-28-23

Hello, hello, hello.

Hello, everyone. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Welcome, welcome, welcome. I hope everyone is doing well. Happy holidays. I definitely have not been on for a while. I've been taking it easy. I am currently with my family here in Memphis, Tennessee, enjoying the holidays with them. So I thought I would come back, say a quick. Hey, what's tea, what's going on, honey? Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar White. Everyone calls me Coach Anwar and I am a dating coach for black and brown women.

Now, like I was saying before, I have just been chilling, I have been relaxing. It's been a crazy year and I needed time to just chill out and relax. But I just came on here to say quick, hey, what's tea? What's tea, y'? All.

Yeah, just come on here for a little bit so we can kiki and talking about love and dating and relationships and men or women, girl, or anything in between. We're all very, very, very open minded here and inclusive. So if you have any questions about that.

Put them in the chat and I will answer them. I don't know if I'll be on for.

Hours on end like I usually am, but I'll be on for a little bit and we can talk about what's really going on with the tea. So put your questions in there. You want to learn a little bit more about what I do, you can definitely go to the link in my bio and check that out. I have global tours, I have free trainings, I have my podcasts, the get yout Guy podcast. I also have consultations for those that are interested in working with me professionally.

And we'll go from there. And if there's anything that I.

You know, that you want to know, definitely put those questions in the chat. If there's anything that I say that resonates with you, tap the screen, Double tap the screen. Triple tap the screen. Yeah. And let's get those likes up, honey. Alrighty. All right, let me see what's going on because I'm already late to the game, girl. Good evening, Don. Hello, hello, hello.

She said missed you. Yes, miss you all as well. Hello, Elise. Happy holidays to Sir Baby Cakes. Celine Said, where you been grabbing and enjoying my family? Resting. I hope you all have been resting as well. Said we miss you, miss you all as well. Happy holidays to Amane. Shanti said hi. I love you. Love, love to you as well. Katrina. Thank you so much for the rose. Hey Ms. Teach. Hey Jess328 Hey Sharon. Happy Holidays to you. Hey, Carla. Alpha Omega said, missed you. Miss you too. Linda said, I just found out about you. I hope nothing but good things, honey. Sharon said, Happy 2024. Happy 2024 to you all as well. If you all are looking to date year, you definitely want to get into my program now so that we can maximize January, which is the super bowl of dating. Yeah. So definitely book a call, honey. Get into one of my programs so we can get you right, honey.

Juju said, dating apps been rough this holiday season. Hoping Q1 will be better. Pros will have better prospects. Girl, you must have missed my video where I told you, do not be on the apps in December, honey. Nothing good can come of it. This is where we rest like I have been doing, and we engage with our family and friends and we're out in these streets, not online. Jessica, we appreciate you. Thank you, girl.

Sasha J. Said, thank you so much for the three roses, girl. LJ Said, advice for college freshmen, girl.

Make sure you don't flunk out the first semester. Do not go to. Do not be at these frat parties to the very end, honey, because the shady stuff happens at the end of these frat parties. Do not, girl, watch your drinks.

Yeah, but, girl, have fun. Yeah. Don't think. Don't take college seriously when it comes to dating because most of these college students are wildly unserious. I want you to think about this as like, a training ground for you. Yeah. I don't want you thinking you're gonna find your husband in college, because that's probability tells me that's not the case. Yeah. I want you to think of college as, like, an opportunity. Think of it as a buffet, honey. Yeah. Get a little bit of this, a little bit of that. This is the first time most of y' all gonna be hanging out with Indian and. And Chinese dudes, girl. No shade, girl. So taste a little bit of this, Taste a little bit of that. See what you like. Yeah.

Thank you all so much for the almost 5000 likes.

Okay. Took said, what are. What are you on here talking about tonight, cousin? Girl, you know we're talking about X, Y, and Z. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. Linda said, thank you for your help. You're welcome. Sharon said, thank you for all your advice. I am learning. Good. That's why I do this. I know that black and brown women are not taught how to date. And so I try to do what I can to make sure that at least y' all have a good foundation of it. Now if you want to level up and get to the AP course, you want to get into one of my programs, but I'm just giving you the one on one. The one on one here on TikTok. Like I said, I just broke up with my boyfriend, and I want to know, how do I know a white man is interested? Girl, if a white man talks to you for more than three minutes, girl, he's interested. No shade. Yeah. Chloe said he asked how much my lashes cost. Curiosity or with intuition?

Mint. Okay, so there's a. I'm gonna do a video about this, but there's a. There's such a thing called boy pretty and girl pretty. Guys don't like lashes. Girls do. Yeah. So he's trying to understand how expensive you are. Most men are trying to figure that out. And if he can afford you or not. So if you're. There's a difference between getting lashes at CVS and getting lashes professionally done. Right. That's what he's trying to figure out.

Would you recommend a matchmaker if you're a black woman? Never that. Matchmakers have, like a 5% success rate for the white girls. They don't know how to match black women. So most of a lot of my clients come from matchmakers, and they're like this, Anwar, you're my last resort. I'm like, damn, girl. No pressure, girl. But let's make it happen. And that's what we do. Dominique said, insights on dating studs. Well, I've never dated a lesbian stud, girl, so I don't really know that tea. But what I will tell you, girl, is that no shade, they're kind of like dudes, dude.

Chelsea said, dating apps, tips entering 2024.

I'm saving a lot of that for my clients, to be honest with you, because the apps are changing literally every quarter. But you want to make sure that you're on a couple of apps and you want to make sure that you're maximizing January for sure. Lex La said, dating apps, they start. They start convos strong, then fade, die out a day later. Yeah, girl, keep on moving. At the end of the day, this is a kind of a numbers game. Yeah. Most of these guys are not serious and not ready, so you have to actually have a strategy to find the ones that are. And that is why I give my clients a dating strategy. Yeah. Most people tell me when I am.

Kind of engaging with them and talking with them in consultations that they don't have a strategy. If you have. If you don't have a dating strategy, Give me the.

Hashtag no strategy. I need to know who doesn't have a strategy here.

If you. When I talk about strategy, I'm talking about do you have a way of going from first conversation to first date? Do you have a way of going from first date to exclusivity or committed relationship? If you don't, girl, then guess what? You going with the flow, girl. And when you go with the flow, girl, you know what that means, girl. Titanic realness. You're gonna drown. Because nothing is more powerful than water, honey. No shade.

Okay, let me see what y' all are doing, girl. I think I skipped a lot, honey, because.

Girl, there's a lot of comments in here. Bria, thank you so much for the love you so. I think I just lost a bunch, girl.

Yahweh Sami, girl, said, advice for a single 32 year old, celibate for six years, girl. Wipe up those cobwebs, girl. A girl's gotta eat. No shade. Yeah, I mean, advice for a single 32 year old. Everything that I'm saying is advice for you, girl. So just listen up while we continue to live up in here. Yeah. Money Lopez said, 42, attractive, was married, now divorced for six years. Is there hope for me and dating? 100%. I literally would not be on here if there was not hope. There are women that are in their 40s, 50s, 60s in my program that are getting into relationships. Yeah. Please understand this, sir. Baby cake said, how can I boost confidence after major weight loss? Well, it's interesting because most women will actually have a bit of a boost after the weight loss. But please understand that there's deeper work that needs to be done here. Right. Because yes, there is kind of the exterior physical connection, but there are also intellectual and emotional connection when it comes to dating. And we gotta make sure that we're able to do that as well, which is very internal. I think a lot of people think that, oh my God, if I just lost a little bit of weight, my love life would significantly change. Girl, if you don't got a confidence, girl, it's not going to change. Here's the thing.

If you watch 600 pound life, girl, like I do on TLC, all of those mofos have boyfriends and it's because they're confident.

They're interestingly confident in a lot of things. And maybe the confident is misplaced, but please understand that it's not the weight, girl.

Yeah, that's what it is.

Lindsay said, your advice is amazing for all women. I agree, but my coaching is specifically for black and brown women. And I specialize in that experience because it's very unique and different. Yeah, DCMC said I want the API. No, that's right, girl. Honey, we, we all about that advance. So definitely want. You should be booking that call girl and getting into one of my programs. Fan said, I've signed up. Good. Tybr said, what are good places to meet good men, generous men, provider men? There's not a special place where you're going to find these men. I think it's the wrong question. The right question is what kind of woman do I need to become to actually attract those men?

I could tell you to go to an airport lounge and go to conferences, girl, but if you're messy and you're judgmental and you're a bitch, girl, you're not gonna find those men. You're not gonna attract those men. My work is 95% internal.

5% external. I could be like half of these other dating coaches out here and show you manipulative ways to get guys. But that is not long lasting and that does not heal you. And it actually makes dating harder for the rest of the women out there. Because after you use a guy, after you sprinkle, sprinkle a guy who is nice and giving to you and you use him, he's going to come back into the market and he's going to be bitter and he's going to treat men, he's going to bring karma that you created and give that to other women out there. So that's why my work is about making sure that you are the woman that's ready for the best relationship of your life ultimately.

Okay. User583 said, you're the best and give great advice. Thank you so much. Girl.

Glow. Cal said advice. What if I don't look like an affluent guy's type tattoos race? Well, let me tell you, there are a lot of rich guys that are with, you know, black and brown girls. So don't think that your race is going to preclude you from that. Tattoos.

A lot of wealthier men don't like that because he, he's gonna need to take you to like a lot of like networking events and things like that. And you gotta be able to. Here's the thing, it depends on where those things are. If you can cover them, great. But you gotta be able to talk the gap. The thing about being with a wealthy man and I think I'm gonna do a video about this is that you gotta know a little bit about everything. You got to Be able to small talk, you got to be able to charm and you got to be able to talk about.

You know, 17th century art as well as, you know, interesting takes on politics and things like that. Right. But if you don't have the, if you don't have that knowledge base, girl, you better go and get it. Yeah.

Gigi kisses said, amwar make it spicy tonight. Girl. Stop talking to me like you're my man.

Don't tell me what to do. I'm grown.

Bambi said, hope you had a good X mess with the fam. I sure did, honey. And we're still enjoying it. To be honest with you. I was just like, let me just hop on here real quick since I haven't talked to my girls. Reality IS ISSS@NY spun the block, girl.

Don't do that, girl.

As my mother would say, rongo dongo, it's not gonna work. The only people who spin the block, you know when you're starting to learn how to drive and your first thing is like driving the car around the block, that's what you're doing, girl. You're giving beginner driver t. Don't do that. Yeah. You deserve to get on the freeway and you need to act like it. And if you don't know how to do that and have the confidence to move forward and get out of that scarcity love mindset, then you need to work with somebody. A therapist, a coach, a mentor. Yeah. Because that's a mindset thing. Yeah. And that's not me coming for you. I'm talking to every all the 800 people that are in here.

Louis said, when she says she needs time for herself, what does that really mean? It means she doesn't like you anymore. It means move on. It means she's being nice to you and letting you off easy. She's done.

Yeah. Bria B. Thank you so much for the rose. Ms. Jones said, how do I deal with a great guy who just lacks experience? Doing my best to not date off potential. Lacks experience in what? Being a boyfriend.

Twine said, when does this dating super bowl time frame start? To be honest with you, Monday, girl. Monday.

Yeah.

Tawana Edwards Dixon, thank you so much for the rose, girl. Jay says, advice for a 25 year old plus sized black woman with no dating experience, girl. Get dating experience, girl. Date them, girl. For some of my plus size women, I it's so interesting and it sounds really counter counterproductive, but I tell them, girl, go on plenty of fish for a month because sometimes you're going to need Your confidence to be leveled up. And having thousands of people sell you, tell you that you're beautiful, even though it sounds really superficial, will do wonders for you for a month. I mean, don't take any of them seriously, talk your ish, flirt with them, and then move on to a more serious site. So I would say you do that. Don't physically go out with any of them, but maybe have some phone calls where you just feel in control and in power. Because that's what I think that you need right now.

Horses in the backseat. As a white woman, can I listen to your content, girl? Anybody can listen to my content girl. This isn't separate but equal. There aren't different, you know, water fountain stations, dating advice station, squirrel. Do what you want. I'm just telling you that I work primarily with black and brown women. I have some white clients too, but they know that my coaching is centered on the black and brown experience. Yeah.

Scooby says only my baby daddy understands me. If he truly understood you, he wouldn't be your baby daddy. He would be your husband. No shade.

Flirting with a man who has a girlfriend. That dating karma is going to get you, girl. Don't do it. Don't do it. Mama.

Double A said, I tried and I couldn't get past the micro pickle.

All right, girl, it sounds like you had relish. Girl.

Girl, it sounded. Didn't even sound like a pickle. Girl. Bandit, thank you so much for the rose DCMC Said course. Yeah, I have different programs. Yeah, I have a variety of courses. I have a dating strategy course. I have a whole like.

Dating course which is my full course. And then I have coaching programs where you are also coached while, you know, aligning and in parallel with with the online content.

My Mel Romy roll and where. I missed you. Thank you, girl. Missed you too, girl. Yasmin said how to break up with the nice guy. Let him know. Hey, it's been great getting to know you. I'm not feeling a connection, but I want to wish you the best of luck.

Why is it me and this guy were talking and we called the other day, but now he's not responding anyhow?

Yeah.

You should be talking to three or four other guys. Don't ladies, stop hyper focusing on one guy. Like, girl, there are millions, billions of guys on this planet. The fact that you're focused on the fact that he hasn't responded lets me know that you are not dating the way that you need to. You should be talking to three to five guys right now. I call it Olympic dating. You need to have a gold medalist, a silver medalist and a bronze medalist. If you don't have that girl, then you're not done. You're not done.

Araceli said. Amor is Yoda. Yoda. I am.

Bria B. Thank you so much for the rose.

The fan says how to move forward with a white guy I talk to at my job. I generally recommend not dating guys at the job.

It doesn't work out well for, for, for women.

And it said you're great. Thank you, girl.

Kristen said. Favorite Spice Girl Girl. The black one.

Everyone black loves the the black one girl, which is Shade because her name is Scary Spy. She's not scary. She's just very empowered.

I think it's kind of a racist name. But I digress. Kimberly said, I love your advice on not always going for the tun. Yeah, honey, here's the thing. And people wanted me to talk about Simone Biles. I did not because I felt like a lot of people were just trying to get views and clicks for their takes on Simone Biles, and it just didn't feel authentic to me.

You want to be, you want to be the 10 in the relationship. I will just say that. Yeah, because your man is going to want and need to do more than you in a relationship, and he needs to be inspired to do that.

Don't date the pretty boys, honey. The pretty boys will always think that they're a catch, just like the athletes will.

Because all of their lives they have been told that it will not stop.

Yeah.

Don'T date pretty boys.

Leave the pretty boys to the boys.

No, they'll always have. They'll always be the catch because they will always have hundreds of women chasing them. And even though you might be a very secure woman and sometimes it will weigh on you, right? Because women will always approach pretty boys, always flirt with them. Even the most secure women will always feel like.

Will he leave me?

Am I saying get with Shrek? No.

But don't go for the 10, girl. I want you in terms of chemistry. I want you to have a solid 7 or an 8 girl, but have a 10 in compatibility. That's how I think about it.

Jordan Said, omg, I've been waiting for you to go live and I got no notification this time. Sorry to hear about it, girl. GFI said, where are you doing the Q and A? Well, I'm probably five or ten minutes behind because there's 922 of you here and one of me, honey. So I'm probably like a bit behind. But girl, I Go up my pace just like y' all need to in your dating lives. Don't let these men rush you, honey. Slow it down, honey. The guys that want to rush you are the toxic guys. Yeah.

Ariel said, do you believe in holding back with looks on the first couple of dates so he won't think you're money? No. Do you? Girl, don't play that game. What's. Are you asking me to go ugly? Never that, girl. Stay pretty.

Danny Terry said, do men like smart women? Smart men do. Men that are not smart don't like smart women.

Yeah.

Men that are not smart will try to humble smart women and they'll do it either emotionally or physically with abuse. Yeah. And oftentimes it's hard for smart women to get out of those situation because. Because they're so smart, like, and like, driven that they're less emotionally aware. So it like those things won't hit them until it's way too late. That's why I work with smart and successful women to make sure that they don't kind of get into that tr.

Shanny said, can a single mom get a high value man? There's no such thing as a high value man. Any man that says high value man. One is not a high value man, and two is probably toxic. Just FYI, Jordan said, what's the word for 2024? Girl.

The word is the same. Heal, bitch. Two words.

Heal, heal, heal, bitch. Yeah.

Zoe said, January, like the beginning or mid to end? Girl, the beginning girl. First two to three weeks of January. That's the super bowl of dating.

Rocio said, be my coach. You'll have to book a consultation call and then you can join one of my programs first. Yeah.

Miss JJ said, is it possible for a man to want to be in a relationship but still want to take it slow? He'll know within three months. If he doesn't want to be with you within three months, his taking it slow makes you the placeholder. Girl, you never want to be in that position. Cuz not only is he playing you, but you're also playing yourself. Bandit, thank you so much for the heart. Me.

Momo Lee said, how do I control my emotions? Therapy, coaching, healing.

Sometimes you'll need another person to help you learn what's really going on, because right now you don't know what's going on. That's why you lose your head. Okay, so I'm finally getting to the strategy. I'm seeing a lot of no strategies. Honey, this is a problem.

This is a problem. Yeah. Here's the Thing. If you didn't have a strategy in your professional career, you would get fired. So please understand that you are getting fired every day in your dating life without a strategy.

I do have a dating strategy course, if you want to. I think it's 149, but it's. That course has, like, thousands of dollars worth of information in there. I would recommend going into that if you're interested. But you'll need a strategy. The gag is no one teaches you how to date. So. Girl. Girl, what's that movie? I think it's called Bird Box with Sandra Bullock. Just blind, honey. That's what y' all are giving with this. No strategy, no shade.

Yeah.

Miracle said the male models I dated were insecure and bored me almost immediately. Yeah. Most of them don't have personalities, girl, because they've never needed one.

I could just skate with their looks.

Ms. Money said many black women are lowkey lesbians. They just don't know it. O.

Not you trying to con. Happy 2020 for y'. All.

You know what's so really interesting? One of the things that I've seen as a dating coach for 14 years is that a lot of black women, because they've been abused primarily with black by black men, will have a kind of a lesbian phase. So, like, six months for a year, they'll go. They'll go, Leslie. And then they're like, yeah, this kind of isn't for me. Just cuz I feel safer with women. Yeah. And many of you might have gone through that. Many of you might be going through that now. This isn't me, like, being ignorant. This is literally me and my observations from what I've seen. Seen.

As a dating coach, part of the work is not to go lesbian for a year. No shade. It is to actually learn how to feel safe within yourself. Yeah. So I want to offer that for anyone that is. Has thought about that, experienced that, so forth and so on.

Mellie said, I like your tree, girl. This is my mother's tree. And she has three or four of them, Honey.

Constance, wait. So how do we work with you personally? You go to the link in my bio and click on the book. A consultation call. Yeah.

That'S. And then we'll talk and see if it's a good fit. This is how I kind of vet. Just like you all need to vet and evaluate who you bring into your space. I do the same for potential clients as well. I don't accept everyone in my program.

Yeah.

Maya said, how do we gauge the pretty boy versus average versus Shrek.

I think we all. I mean, here's the thing. It's going to be different for every woman. Right. For example, a pretty boy in LA or an average boy in LA might be a pretty boy in Charlotte.

Right. So it depends on location. It also depends on kind of, you know, the eye of the beholder.

Renee said, it's the. Yeah. For me.

Yes. Well, girl, I'm, you know, valley girl. I don't know what else to tell you.

Oron said, input on hard wig, soft life. It's true. I. I say it all the time. A lot of white men are into y', all, but they just don't know how to approach you. And like I was saying before, men are hunters.

And so when he sees a woman with a crazy wig.

She becomes more approachable to him.

Yeah. That's just kind of it.

Auntie Drill, thank you so much for the rose.

Shabari Reed, thank you so much for the rose. Two roses.

Yeah. Here's the thing. Shay J. Said if he labels himself high value, he's probably insecure. AF high value. Men don't say that they're high value. Just like nice guys don't say that they're nice. Yeah. So if a guy is labeling himself, he's not that I'm very rich. He's not rich.

I'm really nice. He's not a nice guy.

Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you for this girl, this countdown girl, this intense. Reisha said, just love me some you. Thank you, girl.

Jk thank you for the Ten High Bears.

Kamaria said, how long should a woman date a guy before he proposes? 18 months to 24 months. Honey, honey, you want to see him through all the seasons.

Lycia said, who should say I love you first? Depends on the interaction. But I will tell you that.

Most women.

Need to be.

Emotional leaders.

So what I see, which is different than the movies, the Hallmark Channel, you know, the Rom coms. 70% of the time, women are saying I love you first. They're bringing up engagements, they're talking about moving in first, all of that stuff. Ryan said, how much is your consultation? It's free if your application is approved. Yeah. And so we're looking for people that want to work and date. Now, I don't accept a lot, many of the applications that are like, oh, yeah, I want to work, work with a professional dating coach six months from now. We're not going to take you cuz there's too many women that want to do the work now. And we're focused on women that are ready right now.

Brandis said, gave up dating years ago, but my spirit bears witness with Anwar spirit. Wish I'd had him 20 years ago. Thank you, girl.

Taylor said, I took your advice with your 48 hour rule. Good girl. Honey, do you said that dating time boundaries video was great. Thank you. There's more where that comes from, honey. I gave y' all a sliver of the dating strategy of the time boundaries that you need to have. Yeah.

Rhett Milk said, what made you become a dating coach? Well, I think I've always kind of been doing this since I was a little boy in elementary school, helping the boys talk to the girls and the girls talk to the boys. Like, girl, I was playing basketball and I was double dutching with it. So I was just with everybody. And so I've been doing it all of my life. But, you know, this work is really personal to me. I mean, this is one of the reasons why I work with black and brown women. I've had kind of a front row seat into the women in my family dating and being in relationships. My mom, my sisters, my aunts. I mean, my great grandmother was married three times. My grandmother was married three times. My mom is on her fourth marriage. So there's this thing that is happening for black women when it comes to love. And for me, I think my mission and my purpose is to make sure that black women are getting the love that they need and deserve ultimately. So that's why I do what I do. Chichi said, tips for the girls that don't get approached. Good. Because guys that approach you in the wild are wild. And you don't want that. You want. You want to meet guys in curated spaces. So if a guy is approaching you at the mall or at the gas station, please understand he's doing that with 10 other women. And you're a notch on his belt. You want to be meeting guys at conferences. Any place that has an invisible or visible velvet row, that's where you want to meet men.

JFK, thank you so much for the ten finger hearts.

Alexandra said, how long does it take a man to know that you're the one? Well, the one is relative, right? So I know initially a guy will. Will put you into three categories, right? Which is, I'm gonna do a video on this. But, you know, you're like a layover. Literally, you are a kind of vacation spot where you will be for a little bit, or he's really moving toward you and moving at your location. Right. And so.

In the first date, in the first Five minutes he'll put into one of those categories. Right. Understanding that the second and the third category can change. If you're in the first category, you're not going to move out of being a layover.

Please understand that this is especially true for plus size women, darker skinned women and trans women. Right. If he is hiding you, if he's playing hide and go seek, if he's texting you at 10pm or later, if he wants to hang out at home, if he wants to hang out with you in the suburbs, like away from the center of town.

In like dim lidded places, you're in that first category. He, he's not serious. He never will be serious. No shade. If he's calling you cute, he's not taking you seriously. Yeah. Please understand.

Tyranni. Thank you so much for the rose. Oh my God. Triple emoji. Thank you so much for the 25 roses.

God. Sorry I had to like find my way. Just FYI, if you're interested in working with me or learning about what I do because I also have free trainings and an amazing podcast, check the link in my bio. Honey.

User 583 said, Your advice is so insight, insightful and practical. Great. Thank you. You're so welcome.

Suga on the flow said, as you were saying, women need to be the emotional leaders. Yes. And the you, you, you are leading the relationships on an emotional level. And also with pace.

No, no, no. Said, who pays the bill? We don't. We don't. I don't know who pays the bill, but I know that I don't. And I know that you shouldn't.

Anyone else but us. Honey Boris said, two cancer men dating. Well, as a cancer man myself, I will tell you, watch your tone because cancer men are sensitive and also they are very moody.

Yeah. UI said, what's the 48 hour rule? Check my last video. But that's where I give time boundaries for dating. Yeah, but basically it's if you haven't heard from a guy within 48 hours after a date, he's out.

Clivia said, saw a cute fireman today. And all I could think was, what would Anwar do? Wwad in that situation, Anwar would have said, excuse me, sir, I'm on fire. Put me out and see what he would have done. April Marie, thank you so much for the rose. K said, are you single? No, honey, I'm married with children. I'm a suburban mother of three. And if there are people that are giving you dating advice who are not in a relationship and I mean married. I don't think that you should take their advice because if they haven't done it for you, probability tells me that they're not going to be able to help you out.

Capitan said, can you speak to not being attracted to someone but liking the energy and effort? Well, I always tell women that chemistry can grow with time. So you want to give it two or three weeks to see if that attraction grows. If it doesn't, we gotta let them go. If it does, continue to engage.

Big drip says, how do I stop being a stinky link? By not linking. Put taking that off the table and seeing what happens. So you should never like be in a, like in a car with a guy or in a home with a guy until physical date five.

Five or six.

That's boundary work. Boundary issues. If y' all can't boundary well, you will not date well. And you, you will not be in great relationships. I want to be 100% real with you. Yeah. Queen G said, your consultations, are they phone calls or zoom calls? They're phone calls. I only do zoom with clients. So they're phone call.

1, 2, 2 said, your dating boundaries video is gold. Thank you. If you think it's gold, come into my program. Honey, that is platinum.

Isis said, should we approach a man who keeps looking or let him approach you?

It's really dependent on the situation and where you're at and what it lends itself to. So for example.

Let'S say like you're at a restaurant and someone is like looking at you from afar. This is when I would give eye contact, say hello, smile and allow him to come. Now let's say you're at a bar and he's like right a couple seats over to you. That's when it depends on the like distance. That's when I would say something really quickly and then start, start the conversation and see if he drives it home. Right. So it also just depends on the location and the distance you are away from him.

Tia said, amar do not have kids.

I do actually.

Three of them. And they are my karma girl. Because my smart ass mouth has, has taken many people down and these kids are coming for me every single day. That's why I have all this gray honey. And I used to be young before the kids grow.

So that's that. Tea, thank you all so much for the 5:53,000 likes. If I, if anything that I'm saying is resonating with you. Tap, double tap, triple tap the screen. Tamara, thank you so much for the rose.

No, no, no. Said, who pays the bill? Answer me. Well, if you talk to men this way, you will not have many dates. Honey, we ask questions and we're polite. We don't demand. When you're in your feminine energy, never demand.

Share feelings, share preferences, and sit back and see what he does. When you try to control and when you're demanding, your masculine energy will actually create disconnection with men. This is such a great example of that. Like, if I hear something like that, like, it makes me not want to answer you. Yeah. And I know every other guy would be like that. That's why I would tell people, like, when you're setting boundaries, talk about. I have two words I call foundational boundary words. Preference or comfortability. I would prefer if or I would feel most comfortable if. Yeah, I think it's such a great learning opportunity for everyone.

Julie said, how long should you wait before getting physical? I always say I would never get physical until. And this is what I recommend for my clients. Until they're in an exclusive relationship. And the only reason I say that, not because I'm approved, because Squirrel. She's not approved. But because women will chemically bond to men when they are intimate. And you. I'm sure many of you have a lot of friends, sisters, co workers, cousins that are completely diplomatized because they had sex with some guy and it was so good, and now they've lost their minds. That's what happens when you get physical really early in the courtship phase and you literally lose your critical thinking skills and you will allow things to happen.

That you would have never allowed to happen if you didn't hook up with that guy. Yeah.

Mermaid said. Can we talk about dream weddings? I want a man that can give me my dream wedding. I think that your question is very telling because weddings don't matter. It's actually about the marriages. You should have a. You should want a man that is actually going to give you your dream life and your dream marriage.

Point blank, period. Mira said. Do you typically select older women for your program? 100%.

J says, why does my white guy friend always invite his sister when we hang?

He's not taking you seriously.

You're. You're a friend at this point.

Miracles and money. Thank you so much for the heart me, Kimberly. Thank you so much for the eight roses. Just FYI, ladies, I have an amazing podcast called the get your guy coaching podcast. Definitely check it out. There's a link in my bio, but you can find it on Spotify, on Apple, wherever you listen to podcasts. If you like what you're hearing here. I have almost 100 episodes of a lot of this.

Mess that I'm talking and more. Yeah. Faith, Nicole, thank you so much for the rose.

Ricasso said, Anwar. I've been taking art classes and met a great guy through his aunt that was in the class. Great. I love that for you.

Fatima said invisible or visible. Wrote like exclusive events and high end places. I said invisible because there are places that not everybody will go to, right? So like even going to a museum, not everybody will go there. So that's kind of like a invisible rope, right? Going to a Whole Foods or a Trader Joe's. It's open to the public, but there's an invisible velvet rope that not everybody will go into. That's what I'm talking about.

Effortless elegance. Why does he breadcrumb me? It doesn't matter why a man does anything. What we have to really focus on is the what and not the why. Right? Our job is not to go SVU detective and to figure out why the perpetrator does what he does. Right? We're not svu. Our job is just to honor the what. And the what is he's breadcrumbing you. So you step away and you move and you talk to guys that are not going to do that. Yeah.

My God. Thank you so much for this cowboy hat girl.

Miss Doula girl.

Thank you all so much for the 65,000 likes, too.

Prime luxury. How do you get him to kiss you? Here's the thing that many of you all don't know a guy that is really serious about you. He actually won't make a move on you because he's overly respectful of your boundaries. And so often times. This happens with my clients all the time. So you are actually going to have to let him know that it's okay to kiss you. So if he hasn't kissed you by, you know, in the first two dates on date three, when you see him, give him. When you see him, give him a hug and give him a small peck on the cheek so he knows that you're giving him the green light, that it's okay to kiss you. Works every time.

Marie said you've been asking for more time together. He doesn't give you. He. You get it from somewhere else. 100%.

My mal. Romy roll. Anwar, can you please talk about the seven actions before you accept a date from someone from an app? This is for my clients. You need to become a client before you understand that and before I share that information. Unfortunately, okay.

Hiking5 said. Can you talk about how black women can make themselves look more approachable? I get told I have rbf.

I don't really care about being approachable. Most of the guys that approach you are wildly unserious.

In my program, we date online and offline, and we go to some of those curated spaces and we strike up conversation, and we're focused on connection. So I'm not focused on this 1950s. I'm gonna sit, you know, I'm gonna line up in a line at a dance and wait for a guy to ask me to dance. That shit is played out. We're not doing that anymore. You don't. You don't want to be approached in the wild.

Yeah. Getting all these text messages from people.

Snow. Thank you so much for the pink shoes.

Good John Said. Amar, you make man math so easy for me. Now I feel much more confident. Good girl. As you should. Bria, thank you so much for the rose. Girl.

Triple emoji. Thank you so much for the Four Roses.

Tick tocker. If we don't want to kiss them by the end of the first day, not necessarily do. Why would chemistry grow when you have a more intellectual and emotional connection? Oftentimes that physical attraction or connection can also grow. Now, if the physical connection, let's say from 0 to 10 is less than a 5, it's never going to grow. Yeah.

Or Alon Said, I feel attacked. Lmao. I definitely lost my critical thinking skills. Girl, haven't we all, girl. Just diplomatized for no reason, honey. For no reason.

Yeah, we've all been there, girl.

No judgment here.

Asia Said, do you take insurance? No, girl. That's not that kind of party.

Breezy Said, is sending a guy a drink too aggressive? Well, it's masculine, honey. If you want him to be the catch, do that.

That growth that. That's hunting, that's masculine energy.

As my granny would say, you want to start how you finish. If you start that way, you will finish that way. And what I've learned, and I'm seeing this with my friend circle, with my clients, is that there are a lot of people, a lot of smart and successful women that just wanted to fill a box. Right? Which is kind of what Simone Biles is doing. She's successful. She's had. She has everything in life. But she didn't have this guy. So she found a guy and she put him in that role. Yeah. And you're doing everything because you're just like, this is just part of my life. And it's another thing that I'm managing and I'm controlling. That shit gets tiring after a few years. 2026, 2027, mark my words, he will not be there any longer.

SPN said. Hi Amore, Any thoughts on why men never approach me? Girl, I don't know. I don't know what you're giving, but also you don't want to be approached. Here's the thing, if I'm basically butt naked walking down the street, I'll get approached all the time. Being approached is not the prize. It's not this thing that you want to covet. Like it's not a badge of honor. Please understand that men approach.

Only the weakest because they're hunting. So if you're approached, please understand that's why, you know, a lot of girls get talked to and approached. Or when you look a hot ass mess, you'll get approached a lot because men will find you quote unquote weaker that they can conquer. So being approached is not the gag. Girl yeah.

Malaika said, what if you get physical with someone but don't get diplomatized? Is there something wrong with you? Not something wrong per se, but I think that there's, there's probably a lot of emotional.

Being emotionally stunted and there's a disconnect from your body to your heart and your emotions. Yeah. That just needs to be explored a little bit. That's what I would say.

V Said, what about white man who has been raised by black people his whole life? Girl, he's basically black. Girl, probably blacker than me. No shade.

Queen Chi thank you so much for the Eleven Roses Renaissance. Queen thank you so much for the rose. Olivia B. Thank you so much for the heart. Me.

Ari Abroad thank you so much for the rose.

Amanda Michelle said, the podcast, that's great. Thank you. I think it's like.

Anywhere from top 30 or top 50 in relationship podcasts in the US which is amazing because I literally just, I don't know, I do one every other week and most people do it every week. So thank you all for the support. I really do appreciate it.

Alicia said, Podcast name again please. The get your guy coaching podcast.

Deja Lynn Said, I've been listening to the podcast daily since last weekend, baby. Let me tell you. Thank you Anwar. You're welcome.

Kyranni Said, I will definitely be listening to the podcast. Good. Just said doing the Lord's work. Thank you Jesus. D. Said, listen to the Dating Economics episode. Good. Kaylee said, Love the podcast has changed my mindset in romantic and platonic relationships. Amazing aria. Broad thank you so much for the Six Roses Renaissance Queen. Thank you so much for the Rose.

Child Said, Jesus Christ is coming back very soon. Repent, repent now before it's too late. Josh, to you. I say y' all need to be coming back to these apps very soon. Yeah. And get on them before it's too late. Chunky Cheese said, been two months of weekly dates, but no idea if he wants to become exclusive. Time to move on. He has another month, girl. Yeah. Mm. 146. Your podcast is amazing. I listen to them all when I walk in the morning. Good.

Simone Said, I love you. I'm taking your advice. That's Bible for dating in 2024. I love that. I'm excited for you, girl.

Madre said, amore. Do you need a mod? I don't know, girl. Maybe it's getting. It's getting hefty up in here. It was at almost 1200 people, so maybe there's a lot going on up in here, honey.

Let me see what's going on.

Aya said, he told me I'm not like other girls and said he doesn't mean it in a cliche way. You gotta ask him what he means Exactly. Yeah. Because there are different kinds of compliments, Right? If he's complimenting you based on what you do versus who you are as a human, that's. That's a no go. We exit out. Honey.

Doula, thank you so much for the hat and mustache.

Maya in the moment said, what do you think about the whole. If he wanted to, he would. Here's what I will tell you. In my program, the women that get into relationships, they have to beat their guys off with a stick because the guys want to do so much. Yeah. So when I hear about women that are getting 5% of the things that they want and need, I already know he's not it. Like, the guys that like, really want you are going to over deliver to the point where you're like, this is too much. And I'm not talking about compliments because that's love bombing. I'm talking about actions more than anything else. Okay, let me see. While I'm scrolling up, definitely check the link in my bio.

I have tons of things there from booking a consultation call. If you want to work with me professionally, my podcast called the get your guy coaching podcast. I have free trainings there as well. I don't want you to think that this is some sort of money grab, girl. I have tons of free stuff. I have all these lives are on YouTube. I have my Podcast, girl. So keep the learning, keep the healing going.

Arlene Said, lmao. I love you. Thank you, girl.

Let me see what y' all are talking about. Queen G said, just subscribe to the podcast. Awesome. Thank you. Is this thing on? Said he's live. Yes, I am. Girl, I've been away for a week and a half, two weeks.

Honey. Y' all need to rest. We need to rest as black and brown people. So please. Alejandro Said, your videos helped me get over my ex and the men that have been approaching me. Your advice helped me. Good. Good girl. Love that for you.

Janae Said, I live in a small country, less than 80,000 people. Should I move to date? Girl, it sounds like you're living in Guam, honey. Girl, you can find anybody anywhere. Yeah.

I don't feel like you have to move to find someone, but I do think it's important to be open to people in different locations. Yeah.

Dana said, it's because your advice works. Thank you, girl. Appreciate that. Cousin Busy said. Black women and Mexican men.

I will say this, it's hit or miss, culturally speaking. There's a lot of cheating that's going on, so. You know, I've heard of support groups of black women that have been with Mexican men. I mean, to the point where you are leaned up against the wall and just falling slowly down that wall. That's the sort of devastation that can happen with some of these men, honey, because they. Some of them just cheat down, girl, because they saw their fathers and their grandfathers do it, and it was apparently okay.

Elijah said, amore. Should I at least be going 80, 20 on dates or give nothing?

Girl.

You are. You're literally implementing this 8020 rule way too much. We don't 8020 on dates. We don't 5050 on dates. We.

There is something called being courted. And I know that it's really uncomfortable for a lot of women, but I need you, especially black women. I need to get used to this.

Nothing. It is especially important for black women to give absolutely nothing because you are going to need to evaluate and filter the men that are going to go well beyond themselves to be with you. And the reason I say that is because, as you know, your lived experience is challenging and hard, and your partner is going to have to take some of that, a lot of that, off your plate and protect you and shield you from that. So you're going to have to see if he's able to do that in the courtship. And part of that is also being able to deliver on these dates. Yeah.

Girl, think of it as.

You know, gender pay gap reparations, girl. If that'll help you get there.

Let me see what y' all talking about.

Alicia said, is it shallow to not want to go on a date with a black guy because he has a lot of white friends? Well, I guess the question is, do you think it would be shallow for a guy to not want to date you because you have a lot of black friends?

Jatiri, thank you so much for the thirteen Roses.

It's Kirsty La you're dating advice is gold. Thank you. Girl.

T said, are the really hot guys only to date, not marry. That's what I think. I think your type is for hooking up with, not marrying. And I know that like bursts a lot of your eight year old fantasies. No shade. But.

I think.

I think this is important because here's the thing, like my job as a dating coach is to make sure that you're dating someone that you can be with the 30, 40 years from now. 30, 40 years from now, you're not going to care about how hot he is. You're going to care about if he's able to take you to your doctor's appointments consistently and help you with your medication. No shade.

Jess and Sesh Said, I'm so happy I caught you live. Thank you. Fatima Said. I enjoy these lives. Good. Me too.

SM said, how is your day going? Anwar? I'm doing well, thank you for asking. I've been taking a nap every day, which has been crazy because I never get to do that.

There's so many comments. So please be patient, y'. All. And thank you so much for the almost 85,000 likes. I appreciate it. Oh, this thing, like sometimes if I scroll down too much it will just completely go all the way down. So I'm sorry if I've skipped some, some of yalls questions. Honey.

Car say, what's your take on solo dates? I think they're great. I think y' all should be doing them. I think that you should. I think you have to. I think it's an important exercise to treat yourself in the same way that you would want your future man to treat you. Many of you all are not doing that. Do you give yourself treats every week? Probably not.

So you need to start doing that. I think you need to do. Many of you all are not getting out, especially post pandemic. Especially the girls that are working from home. Girl, take yourself out. Yeah. If you can't treat yourself the way that you want to be treated, girl, it'll be Actually harder for you to evaluate how a guy is truly treating you, because you won't have anything to, like, benchmark it from.

If you are treating yourself the way that you want your future boyfriend to treat you, then anything that a guy does needs to be significantly additive to that. But what will happen is if you're not doing that, if you're doing nothing for yourself, which oftentimes is the case, a guy that is giving you a two feels great and amazing because it's more than what you're doing for yourself. But if you're giving yourself an 8, 9, 10 treatment, he's got to give you at least a 9 or a 10.

Let me see what y' all are talking about.

Yeah, a lot of people saying, girl, don't pay. Here's the thing, don't even fake like you're paying. Don't go for that fake in your purse thing. Always tell my clients, give them the. Give them the. Show them. Show the manicure. Girl, thank you so much. Thank you so much. That's what you give. Yeah, don't give the. Oh, let me try to fake something in my person. Lame. Don't do that, girl.

Because you. When you do that, you know what he's going to say. Get the next one. And now you got a future bill. Girl, you got a. You got a freaking invoice.

Because that's what these men will do now.

Jamie said, omg, I love this new fan hair. Great.

Dara Said. Just subscribe to your podcast. Amazing. Thank you so much for the support, lady. Appreciate it.

Miss Girl said, he doesn't open my door. How do. I meant, how do I mention this to him? Don't mention anything. Just don't move. Don't get out of the car, don't enter the car, don't enter the place until he opens the door. And then when he does it, smile and thank him graciously.

User 162. Is the girl pretty boy pretty theory real or are guys just nervous to interact? No, it's very real. Like.

For example, men.

Love, like, French manicure, French tips. They're not into red nails. Right. Men aren't really into lashes. Women are into lashes, right? There's like, different things. If you ask any of your close guy friends, do you think that she's attractive or hot? When you compare that to what you think or what your girlfriends think, there will be significant differences.

Yeah.

No Name said. Changing my app on the app. Changing my age on the app. Good or bad? Well, it depends on how old you are. If you're over 50, you might want to change your age to like 48 or 49 because if you're over 50 they will only show you 60 and 70 year olds. But if you're anything younger than that girl, be honest about your age please.

Snail said. Your energy is so soothing. Thank you so much. Abriana said. And where he didn't give me an Xmas gift. Are you guys in an exclusive committed relationship?

Because if you're not his girlfriend he doesn't need to give you a G.

Y' all these comments are coming in hot and heavy honey.

Hey Biz X need this answer. How do I get move on from a toxic man who feels like my soulmate? Your soulmate's not toxic, honey.

Honey, a toxic soulmate is the devil.

Period. Said do you work with Australian Aboriginal women? I work with everybody. I have clients all around the world.

Yeah. Kadre said I have to leave the house to find a man. You sure do honey. The Amazon guy is not going to deliver him to you unfortunately.

Ari abroad long distance relationship. He offered to visit first but it doesn't work for my schedule that time. Can I visit him first? No, you get to do whatever you want to. He needs to figure out. You all need to figure out a good time for him to visit you though. That's what I would say. Adrienne Fitzpatrick thank you so much for the three roses. Taishea thank you so much for the rose. User536 thank you so much for the heart me triple emoji. Thank you so much for the perfume. Michelle Hill said, black women and Asian men.

Depends on what kind of Asian man. There's a difference between a Korean man, a Japanese man, a Chinese man and an in Southeast Asian like Indian man.

Glove Buck said, these comments are a mess. I know and that's why I love these lives. Honey keep the mess coming honey keep the mess coming. There's no judgment here.

Thank you all so much for the hat.

Kanye's angel said, I told my sister about you girl. Good. Tell your sister to subscribe to the podcast too girl. But team said, just subscribe to the podcast too. Awesome.

Triple emoji. Thank you so much for the ginger man.

J said, this is why I can't miss my Amore sessions. Thank you.

Gillet Cam said, hey Amore Hey.

Nick said and why I haven't met his family even after three years. Well if you are not.

Married he probably doesn't want to marry you. No shade so it's been three years. He you haven't met the Family doesn't sound like you're married or else you would have met the family at the wedding. He's not serious. Girl.

Sorry. Triple emoji. Said I'm a nail tech. Men love French tip or pink or white ombre. This what I'm saying, girl. That's what I'm saying, girl. No shade. He sees red. He thinks you're a harlot. He does. He's like. This is probably not, like, wife material. I know it sounds so superficial, but that's the difference between boy pretty, boy pretty and girl pretty.

Fatim said, I thought men love red nails. Yeah, they like the fantasy of them. They like the girls on the corn sites that have the red nails. But for a wife.

Part of the attraction for a man, for a woman. And I, however archaic this sounds. I just want to give you the tea. Is about.

A woman's loyalty to them. So if you are dressing in a seductive way, what that means is that you're attracting attention from other men, which means that you are ultimately less loyal to them. Right. Most men don't care if you like whatever you dress like unless there is a potential, like, relationship with them. Yeah, because what that means is that he feels like you're in danger of being taken away, and that doesn't feel secure to him.

Handy baby said, so the red nail theory is a lie. So the red nail theory is that men will approach you more when you have red nails. This is true. But it is because they think of you as a certain kind of woman.

Not they put you in a certain category. And it's not wife category.

Brie said, hi, love. I love your content. Thank you.

Natalie said, Asian men's families can be racist.

This is where the 8020 rule comes in. 80% of them will not accept you. This is why I don't talk a lot about black women and Asian male relationships.

And many of those Asian men will not defend you against their families.

Aria, broad, thank you so much for the cap.

Yum said, Amor knows what he's talking about coming from an Asian woman. Thank you, Asian woman.

Ronnie, thank you so much for the rose. Okay, I want to do a roll call because I see there's some Asian women up in here. So first roll call. Let me know if you're present. If you're here, black girls, give me a here black curl present. I want to see the black girls now. Now I want to see the Latinas, the Latino girls, give me a Latina present. If you want to give me an hola, give me an hola. Give me a. Here. Give me an A key if you want, honey.

Now, I want to hear from the biracial mixed girls. If you're here, give me a hashtag here. Hashtag biracially here. Now I want to hear from the Asian girls. Yeah. Hashtag Asian girl here. Get into it, honey. Yeah. And now I wanna the white girls. You can let me know are you here? If you're here. Great. Love it, love it. Give me a. Here. Give me a white girl here.

Yeah. Yes, Honey. Honey, they're here. Honey, I'm seeing some black girls here.

Present and accounted for. Black girl magic. I want to see some other girls, too, honey. Black queen here. Chocolate here. Okay, Blasian. I see you, girl.

Yes, honey. Latina. Yes. The girls are present.

Yes, Honey. Had to do a roll call. Asian here. Yes. Nigerian.

Pacific Islander. Yes. Mixed girl. Melanin in the building. Latina, Asian girl. You doing a lot, girl.

You doing a lot, girl.

White girl here. Okay. Yes. Native American. Yes, sister. All right. I'm glad the girls are here. I'm glad the girls are here. I just had to do a roll call real quick, make sure the girls are here. My Haitian Americans are here. Yes, ma'. Am.

Somali Americans work out.

Good. Love it, love it, love it.

I absolutely love it. I absolutely love it. Ladies. Okay, now let's get back to the questions. Honey, what questions do we have? I just needed to do a girl roll call, honey. Roll call.

User182. So you don't recommend Mexican men? Here's the thing. I'm not saying I don't recommend them. I'm just saying there's a good amount of them that will cheat, girl. And if you want to go down to Mexico, girl, you have to be aware of that. Don't get mad and don't get butt hurt when the eyes WANDER or it's 11pm and you don't know where your man is.

Yeah.

Okay, let me see what y' all talking about.

She's so intuitive. Said, I'm a big Reddit user. Should I date from the Reddit pool? Well, I love a dork, I love a nerd.

But you gotta watch out for the Reddits because, girl, there's a fine line between nerd and incel. Yeah. So I would say a third of the Reddit pool, potential two thirds of them. Girl, beware. Danger, girl. Stranger danger.

Reddit scary.

Yes, honey. Maya, Soul Child said, the girls are here and we are listening. I love that. I love that the girls are here. Honey. Someone said Bosnian.

Yes. I know that's right and wrong at the same time. Girl.

I love that.

Okay. Starr said, do men like locs or natural hair on black women? I don't really care what men like. I care what you feel confident, comfortable and sexy in more than anything else. Yeah. We don't do things for the male gaze. We do things for our own self gaze. Yeah. And also for the gays. Yeah.

Do what makes you feel good, girl. We don't do things for men, we don't dress for men, we don't style ourselves for men. We do everything for ourselves. The thing about dating, and this is something that is not talked about enough is that you are going to have to be self centered if you want to be successful in dating.

I know a lot of, a lot of black and brown girls are like, I don't know why a lot of the white girls are so successful in dating. It is often because they are very self centered and it's how they are brought up and raised. This is not me coming for the white girls. A girl I went to boarding school and school with all of them, hung out with a lot of them. This is a cultural difference. As a black and brown woman, you are taught or black and brown girl, you are taught to serve others and not yourself. So it's a complete mindset shift that you're going to have to do if you want to level up your dating. Yeah. This is what I teach my clients. How to do.

Something to think about and consider.

Ti said, what about red lipsticks? Same as red nails. Girl, they like a, they like more of a nude and glass. Actually.

I'm just sharing this because people ask is, is the boy pretty Girl, pretty thing, real. Wear whatever the hell you want to wear. But I'm sharing with you that men think of this differently. Right. And so you know, I've done videos about, you know, a lot of women think that they're like an 8 or a 9 or a 10. But men might think of them differently because they're looking at different things. So sometimes women will think I'm an eight, but a man might think, actually girl, you're a six. To me, it doesn't mean that you're not an eight, just people are looking at different things.

Sierra said, what did you think of Simone Biles, little viral moments? Well, it wasn't little. It was actually very significant and it really struck a nerve with most black women out there. Well one, because Simone Biles is like a daughter to all of us. Right. So I think a lot of us has Felt very protective over her. Similar to Keke Palmer.

What it's shattered in a lot of minds of black women is oftentimes we have been conditioned to believe that our work will mean something in terms of our value. And so when people see Simone Biles as the best in her field have ever done it, the expectation is that she will be treated as the gold medalist in a relationship.

And that is the case with the right man. But so often, and I was talking about this earlier in this live for women that are successful and they have everything except for the guy. They will just find, oftentimes any old guy. That's why she was chasing him. I want this guy, put him in this square box in my life. And now my life is complete. Yeah. And I can tell you right now, and this is the case for a lot of especially black girls who are in predominantly white spaces. And she was surrounded by white girls her entire life. And those girls were having boyfriends and she wasn't because of her size, her stature, sometimes her skin color, her looks that oftentimes.

Black women will look for a guy that is very pretty because they don't feel pretty. Yeah. And I don't know their situation. I'm just sharing with you my experience of what this has looked like for other women that I have coached. That it makes them feel good if they can get with a really hot guy right within. In reality.

Those guys will always feel like the catch because they've always been the catch. Yeah. Now a couple of things that I want you all to understand. On his side.

A lot of these black men don't have mentors. His dad passed away. He doesn't have a father. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a mentor. So he doesn't know how to be a husband. This doesn't. Excuse me. Excuse it. But I think it's important because we talk a lot of about guys. A lot of these guys have grown up in single parent households. Don't know how to date, don't know how to be boyfriends, don't know how to be husbands. I'm sure he doesn't have a mentor.

And I will also say this. He doesn't like her.

If you've. If you watch that interview and subsequent interviews, any man that calls a woman bruh or bro.

They don't like her. They don't like that girl.

She is a friend to him.

Not. The depth is not there.

It's sad, but it's true.

The other thing I will say is.

If you look at his Instagram and what he's following.

And who he's dated. It's been nothing but white girls.

Get with a guy.

Who.

Believes that you are his type.

I don't see them going beyond 2026.

As a dating coach, I want the best for her, but.

This is what I see.

I saw a recent interview.

She had the last. His last name as a necklace.

He's. He's branded her, tattooed her. And oftentimes what will happen is do you understand the mentality that it takes to be the best to ever do something.

When. And this is why I work with more unsuccessful women. Because when you are so headstrong, oftentimes that will make you heart weak. That she might not be totally in touch with her emotions and her intuition.

To understand this yet.

Yeah, this is important. This is why I work with helping my clients get in touch with their feelings. Because you can only get in touch with your intuition through your feelings. And because most black women.

Are not conditioned and programmed to get in touch with them as we're growing up. Right. Your feelings aren't celebrated or welcomed when you're in your household being raised, you will shut them down.

This is what has happened for her, unfortunately.

Yeah.

So that's what I will say on that. Because.

That ain't it, ladies.

That's not it, unfortunately.

It's sad, but it's very true. And I think ultimately you want to learn something from this experience.

More than anything else.

Let me see what y' all are talking about. I did this video about how lighter skinned men are dangerous. And honey, they wanted. Girl, they wanted to burn me at the stake. Honey. They called me a colorist. They called me racist and everything.

Dangerous, honey. Couple that with an being an athlete.

Couple that with no dad, no shade. I don't have a dad either.

The Gen Z's talk like this. They call anyone bruh.

You know, you don't call your wife bro.

Yeah, so. So here's the thing. On the football field, he's a safety. He's also a safety in Simone Biles's head.

And that's what I will say with that. I didn't put a video on it because everyone had a take and it felt very performative to me. I don't do that. I'll tell you my tea on my lives. But. But.

Yeah.

Anyway, moving on, moving on.

Crown said, he's not even light skinned. His eyes are light skinned, girl.

Storm said, what does he's a safety in her head mean?

Simone Biles could get a lot of men.

A lot of men. And this is another thing that I will say about this, and I talked about this in a previous video. A lot of black women will date bigger physically, like huge guys, to feel safe.

Ignoring the emotional safety part of the relationship because they've grown up in an environment and in a world that is not safe for them.

So a lot of women of color, specifically black women, will go for the biggest guy, thinking that that is going to keep them safe.

And oftentimes what happens is that.

They get emotionally abused.

So that's why I say in her head, he's safe for.

Yeah.

Maya said, how to approach a nerd. Girl, drop your calculator right in front of him.

Girl. Go 1001001. Girl, he likes that. Binom.

Champ said, not me liking big men.

Said Anwar. Can I call him bro or dude or no? Is he your husband?

That's the question.

Yes, honey, for that nerd Girl, get your TI82 out, honey.

Someone said, what is 1001001? Girl, if you don't know, girl, you're not ready for a nerd, girl. That's some computer science mess, honey. That's how all the computers are programmed, sweetie. Yes. Binary code. T. Taryn said, stop. I literally got my first boyfriend with the binary code.

Yes, honey. Cassie says, start speaking in ones and zeros, honey. I know that's right.

Let me see what y' all are saying.

Moma said, should I hide the fact that I'm a flight attendant? No, girl, just speak your truth. He's gotta find out some way. Don't hide your career. The men that are gonna work with it, let it be a filter for the men who can't handle it.

Naila said, what does it mean if someone says you're intimidating? Well, it can mean. It can mean a variety of different things. It can mean that they think that you're judgmental or can mean that you look expensive and that he can't afford you. I think it's one of those two things.

Montserrat said, do short men have trauma? Many of them do because they literally have been bullied most of their lives by men and women, unfortunately. But no shake, girl. The short men are packing. So if you want a packed man, honey, if you want Pac man, get with a short.

I know that's right, honey. Someone said, pulled out my T983. Honey. I love T9 more than T1, if you know what I mean, honey.

Renaissance queen said, you touch on how emotional abuse from moms affect our dating habits 100%. You have to understand that if you are smart and sexless, successful black women, two things have happened. You probably have had a very critical and judgmental mother and an emotionally or physically absent father or both. So it is. And because our mothers, our black mothers are often in their masculine energy.

It affects the way that you engage with masculine energy. And so to protect yourself from the masculine, you become masculine. Not to mention that your, your mom, who you most often have the most exposure to, is in your masculine. So she serves as a model for you. Yeah.

Black and white Said advice on dating a doctor fresh out of residency. Good luck, girl. Get ready to be on his schedule. Girl. You're going to have to put your name on that waiting list like all the patients have to to just to see him.

Dating a doctor is hard.

Oftentimes it doesn't work. If he is like 35 and older, things have become less crazy. Great. He's just out of residency. Depending on when he went into med school. He's in his late 20s. I think it's going to be hard.

Bourbon gal. Thank you so much for the rose Geeky Afro set. Yes, it is. I'm a computer scientist. Yes, honey.

The doctor lady devil dog. I'm moving to Japan for work and looking for my scents. Senseis watashi wa ama. This sayonara. Any tips? Yes, honey.

Shabuya.

Stay in Shibuya, honey. And stay away from the yakuza, honey. They try to go for the black girls because they, they, they think they're gangsters, honey. They're dangerous.

While I'm on this, definitely, if you're interested in working with me, book a call. Link is in my bio.

Or if you want to learn a little bit more about what I do, check out my podcast link and my free trainings Again, link is in my bio.

Period. Said I'm a lawyer. Should I date other lawyers? Unless you want to play court in and out of the household, I would say no thank you.

Van said. Or vain. Can firefighters be taken seriously or do they just mess around? I think they're dangerous. And they're in the same category as police, military.

Surgeons, pilots.

Shay says, does a woman's salary serve as a deal breaker for well established men? What do you mean by that?

Give me numbers. I'm a numbers guy.

Lena Bloom, thank you so much for the finger heart.

Mosi said the tall ones too. Like Lord tall skinny ones. Yes.

Zinzi says short men always have something to prove. This is, this can be a good thing because it means that he will over deliver in the bedroom, outside of the bedroom, he will want to serve you more.

Let him.

Best careers to marry. It depends on what kind of woman you are. I think I'm going to do a video about that. Like, best combinations.

Because, you know, if you're a smart girl, don't get with guys in consulting or finance, girl. Don't do that, honey.

All right. If you're a church girl, you. You want to get with a different guy. So just. I'll do a video about it tomorrow.

The Melanated vegan. Your opinion on dating African men.

Every time I talk about African men, it feels like.

I will let the girls. I will let the girls in the chat share their experiences dating an African man. Yeah, but I will say this. It's different.

It's very different.

JD Said, you get this question every love. I sure do, honey.

I sure do. And the gag is it's mostly about the Nigerian squirrel.

It's not like I'm hearing, like, you know, oh, my God, this Ghanaian man really screwed me over. This Kenya Kenyan man really messed me up, girl. It's the Nigerians, honey. That's what I hear a lot.

Anyway.

All right, I think I'm gonna go to bed, honey.

I woke up with some bags under my eyes. It meant I. I think I'm. I think I need to get some sleep. I think I'm, like, really catching up on sleep from this whole entire year where I worked my ass off.

But yeah, Sharde said, yes, do that video. I will definitely do that video.

Oh, everybody's saying run someone to say you're new here.

Screaming, crying. No. From an African woman.

All right, ladies, much love to you. Again. If you're interested in working with me, definitely book a consultation call. But more than anything else, listen to my podcasts, Try my free trainings. If it feels like a good fit, check the link in my bio. Let's work together. Let's get your guy in 2024, and we'll go from there. Alrighty. Bye. Bye.

That's what I will say on that.

Because.

That ain't it, ladies.

That's not it, unfortunately.

It's sad, but it's very true. And I think ultimately you want to learn something from this experience.

More than anything else.

Let me see what you all are talking about. I did this video about how lighter skinned men are dangerous. And, honey, they wanted. Girl, they wanted to burn me at the stake, honey. They called me a colorist. They called me racist and everything.

Dangerous, honey. Couple that with being an athlete.

Couple that with no dad, no Shade. I don't have a dad either.

The Gen Z's talk like this. They call anyone bruh.

You know, you don't call your wife bro.

Yeah, so here's the thing. On the football field, he's a safety. He's also a safety in Simone Biles's head.

And that's what I will say with that. I didn't put a video on it because everyone had a take and it felt very performative to me. I don't do that. I'll tell you my tea on my lives. But.

Yeah.

Anyway, moving on, moving on.

Crown said, he's not even light skinned. His eyes are light skinned, girl.

Storm said, what does he say? Safety in her head mean.

Simone Biles could get a lot of men.

A lot of men. And this is another thing that I will say about this, and I talked about this in a previous video. A lot of black women will date bigger physically, like huge guys to feel safe.

Ignoring the emotional safety part of the relationship because they've grown up in an environment and in a world that is not safe for them.

So a lot of women of color, specifically black women, will go for the biggest guy thinking that that is going to keep them safe.

And oftentimes what happens is that.

They get emotionally abused.

So that's why I say in her head, he's safe for her.

It.

Maya said, how to approach a nerd girl, drop your calculator right in front of him.

Girl. Go 100-1001-girl, he likes that binomial girl.

Champ said, not me liking big men.

Said, and where can I call him? Bro or dude or no? Is he your husband?

That's the question.

Yes, honey, for that nerd Girl, get your TI82 out. Honey.

Someone said, what is 1001001? Girl, if you don't know, girl, you're not ready for a nerd girl. That's some computer science mess, honey. That's how all the computers are programmed, sweetie. Yes, binary code. T Taryn said, stop. I literally got my first boyfriend with the binary code.

Yes, honey. Cassie says start speaking in ones and zeros, honey. I know that's right.

Let me see what y' all are saying.

Moma said, should I hide the fact that I'm a flight attendant? No, girl, just speak your truth. He's got to find out some way. Don't hide your career. The men that are going to work with it, let it be a filter for the men who can't handle it.

Nyla said, what does it mean if someone says you're intimidating. Well, it can mean. It can mean a variety of different things. It can mean that they think that you're judgmental, or it can mean that you look expensive and that he can't afford you. I think it's one of those two things.

Montserrat said, do short men have trauma? Many of them do because they literally have been bullied most of their lives by men and women, unfortunately. But no shake, girl. The short men are packing. So if you want a packed man, honey, if you want Pac man, get with a short man.

I know that's right, honey. Someone said, pulled out my T983, honey. I love T9 more than T1, if you know what I mean, honey.

Renaissance queen said, do you touch on how emotional abuse from moms affect our dating habits? 100%. You have to understand that if you're a smart and successful black woman, two things have happened. You probably have had a very critical and judgmental mother and an emotionally or physically absent father, or both. So it is. And because our mothers, our black mothers, are often in their masculine energy.

It affects the way that you engage with masculine energy. And so to protect yourself from the masculine, you become masculine. Not to mention that your. Your mom, who you most often have the most exposure to, is in your masculine. So she serves as a model for you. Yeah.

Black and white. Said, advice on dating a doctor fresh out of residency. Good luck, girl. Get ready to be on his schedule, girl. You're gonna have to put your name on that waiting list like all the patients have to just to see him.

Dating a doctor is hard.

Oftentimes it doesn't work. If he is, like, 35 and older, things have become less crazy. Great. He's just out of residency. Depending on when he went into med school. He's in his late 20s. I think it's going to be hard.

Bourbon, gal. Thank you so much for the rose. Geeky Afro said. Yes, it is. I'm a computer scientist. Yes, honey.

The doctor Lady Devil dog. I'm moving to Japan for work and looking for my sense. Senseis. Watashiwa Amades. Sayonara. Any tips? Yes, honey.

Shabuya.

Stay in Shibuya, honey. And stay away from the Yakuza, honey. They try to go for the black girls because they, they. They think they're gangsters, honey. They're dangerous.

While I'm on this, definitely, if you're interested in working with me, book a call. Link is in my bio.

Or if you want to learn a little bit more about what I do, check out My podcast link and my free trainings again link is in my bio.

Period. Said I'm a lawyer. Should I date other lawyers? Unless you want to play court in and out of the household. I would say no, thank you.

Van said. Or vain. Can firefighters be taken seriously or do they just mess around? I think they're dangerous. And they're in the same category as police, military.

Surgeons, pilots.

Shay says, does a woman's salary serve as a deal breaker for well established men? What do you mean by that?

Give me numbers. I'm a numbers guy.

Lena Bloom, thank you so much for the finger heart.

Mosi said. The tall ones too. Like Lord tall skinny ones. Yes.

Zinzi says short men always have something to prove. This is. This can be a good thing because it means that he will over deliver in the bedroom. Outside of the bedroom. He will want to serve you more.

Let him.

Best careers to marry. It depends on what kind of woman you are. I think I'm going to do a video about that. Like best combinations.

Because, you know, if you're a smart girl, don't get with guys in consulting or finance. Grow.

Don't do that, honey.

All right. If you're a church girl, you. You want to get with a different guy. So just. I'll do a video about it tomorrow.

The melanated vegan. Your opinion on dating African men.

Every time I talk about African men, it feels like.

I will let the girls. I will let the girls in the chat share their experiences dating an African man. Yeah. But I will say this. It's different.

It's very different.

JD Said, you get this question every love. I sure do, honey.

I sure do. And the gag is it's mostly about the Nigerians, girl.

It's not like I'm hearing like, you know, oh my God, this Ghanaian man really screwed me over. This Kenya Kenyan man really messed me up, girl. It's the Nigerians, honey. That's what I hear a lot.

Anyway.

All right, I think I'm gonna go to bed, honey.

I woke up with some bags under my eyes. It means I. I think I'm. I think I need to get some sleep. I think I'm like really catching up on sleep from this whole entire year where I worked my.

But yeah, Sade said, yes, do that video. I will definitely do that video.

Oh. Everybody's saying run someone to say you're new here.

Screaming, crying. No. From an African woman.

All right, ladies, much love to you. Again, if you're interested in working with me, definitely book a consultation call. But more than anything else. Listen to my podcasts, try my free trainings. If it feels like a good fit.