Dating Q and A 12-30-23

Can you close this door, please?

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello, everyone. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. It's a little dark in here.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Come. Hello. Hello. Hello, everyone. Happy? Almost 20, 24.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Welcome. Welcome. Welcome.

I have my daughter here. Do you want to say hello?

Yes.

Okay. Come sit right here.

Hi. Say hello. Hello. Hello, everyone.

Hello. Hello. Hello, everyone.

Say hi. This is. Get your guy coaching.

Hi. Get your guy coaching.

Yes, honey. Get into it.

She's acting shy. She's usually not the shy. She's very outgoing.

Yes, honey. We're always matching colors. Thank you so much, everyone. I hope everyone's doing well. Last Saturday before the new year. Now, for those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar White. Everyone calls me Coach Anwar. I am a dating coach for black and brown women. And. And thank you all so much for the compliments of how cute she is and how adorable she is. Happy holidays to you all. She's. She's in with me right now because we were not getting along with our siblings, so we needed to take some space. Space. And we needed to have a conversation. Now, I hope everyone's doing well. I hope everyone's doing well. Do you. Are you ready to not act shy anymore? Are you sure?

Ms. Ashanti said me and my bestie were just talking about you. What were you saying, honey? What were you saying?

I'm just going to kiki on here real quick. See what the tea is, honey. Yeah. Book by Brit said. Hey, you. How have you been? I'm good. How are you? Ms. Softy said your teeth are perfect. Thank you. My dentist has done wonders before. I had some crazy Juicy Fruit chiclas in my mouth. Honey. Yeah.

My daughter's trying to get her life a little bit. Is. It's almost the new year. You want to do this live with me a little bit? Okay. So for those of you that don't know, this is one of my three children, biologically my partners. This is. We'll call her S. And yes. This is my girl. We hang out.

And she pretends like she's on live too. And she has her own phone. Do you want to show them the phone that you have that you do your own life, honey? Yes. Yeah.

Thank you. Now, what we're gonna do on here, like we always do. Okay? Go ahead, do your own live, girl. How do you do your live. What do you say when you're on your live, girl? I say, go ahead, do it.

I say, hi.

How'S it going?

What else?

And good morning.

Uh huh. Tomorrow.

I won't be there.

Okay. Why not?

Cause I have work to do.

Oh, girl, what work do you have.

To text some people.

Oh, who are you texting?

My friend.

What friend?

What work do you have to do? Booked and busy, girl. You booked and busy. Yes, I know. That's right. I know that's right. Okay, what else. What else do you say? When you're. When you're doing your. Your live, girl, what do you. What else do you do?

I. I say. I put. I. I put my new earrings.

Okay. Show them, girl. Show them, girl. Yes, honey. Yes, ma'. Am.

Yes.

What else, girl? What else?

And I also.

Tell them, have a good look.

Oh, good luck. Yeah, you give them good luck. All right. Tell all the ladies good luck on your. On your dating journeys.

Good luck on your. All of your dating journeys.

Yes.

T said, whose white baby is that? Honey, this is my baby.

My baby. So one thing that y' all don't understand is that my partner and I have done surrogacy.

What?

Okay. People are saying, thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Yes, you're welcome.

Mm. Good. All right. Go ahead with your. With your brother and sister. Okay.

Yes.

Yes. Bye.

Bye. Good luck to you.

Mari said, will we get a partner reveal? No, honey, he's not about that life. Right. Get you somebody who doesn't want to take the limelight. Simone Biles. Yeah.

Yes, honey. She's one of three. Honey, they keep me young and they keep me old.

So my partner will never be on here. Right. Please believe.

Good. So I'm gonna be on here for another 30 minutes. Girl, we're gonna. Kiki. We're gonna talk about what we usually talk about. Dating, love, relationships, and men or women, honey, Because I get a lot of questions. Do you work with queer women? Lesbian women? Girl, I work with all women. Black, white, Puerto Rican, Haitian, trans sis. Anything in between? All of it, honey.

Yeah.

So.

Definitely. Definitely. Let me see these questions in the comments. I want to say hi to everybody that gave me a big hello at the beginning. You know, when the little one was here, she took up all the attention. So I didn't get a chance to say a quick hey, hey, hey. But that's. That's the tea. Okay. Cap said my potential is Italian, and we're friends. He's always busy. Multiple businesses, suggestions.

Here's the thing. If he's serious about you, he's never too busy for you. I'm a very busy individual myself, and I run with a lot of very busy individuals. Busy people actually Are the most. One can be one of the most communicative because they're always on their phone. So they can reach out, they can answer, they can message really quickly. So if he's not messaging you within three to five minutes, girl, I'm pretty sure he's not that busy. And you're not a priority. And that's no shade. That's just all tea. Lillian said, how old are the kids? I have twin 10 year olds. And then the 5 year old who's going on 85.

Yeah. People are saying, who's that white baby? So you have to understand something. So my partner is white. I am cute. And we did surrogacy. So the twins are biologically mine, and then the youngest is biologically his, you know, so that's why I have a white daughter. Yeah. Trying to slowly gain a little bit of her white privilege. Honey.

She gets away with murder. It's a little bit of her white privilege. But what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?

Okay, Shania says if he takes you.

On dates once a month, is that a green flag? No, girl, it needs to happen once a week. If it's not happening, girl, why once a month, Girl, that's your period. Girl, that's not a date. That's not courting. That's a period.

That's a cycle. We don't do cycles. Yeah.

Girl, that's. That's the moon.

Don't do that.

Okay, let me see what else is going on. What else? You're saying.

We'Re gonna kiki a little bit on here, have some fun. Kara said, you're my new uncle now. Girl, not uncle, girl. I'm too cute for that. I'm giving Fairy Godbrother. Yeah, that's what we're giving.

Tiffany said, your advice is insightful and spot on. Thank you, girl. I appreciate it. Okay, let me find my. Okay. Yeah, there I am. Victoria said, why is my man still in the closet, girl?

Is. Was he in the military? The other thing about the military boys, it's kind of like prison. They will go gay in the military, girl. Girl, and if he's in the navy, girl, gayer than me.

Gayer than me, girl. They all getting it in, honey. I could have been in the military. Gotten five boyfriends.

Five of them, honey.

So you don't want to be with the military man? Girl, he's serving this country and serving these men up in here. Twinning said, how was the surrogacy journey? Long, arduous, but obviously very rewarding.

She said, I'm a surrogate, so that's so amazing. Thank you, girl. Thank you for the work that you do. You are literally bringing miracles to people who otherwise would not be able to have children. And the gag is that more and more women are having more fertility issues. I think it's the food. I think it's the Plastics, but, like, people aren't, like, getting pregnant the way that they used to.

Cherish Said. I literally take notes. Good girl. Well, class is in session, honey. Class is in session, but we're just going to Kiki tonight. I'm not here to try to, you know, do whatever. We're just gonna have a little bit of fun.

Lazy girl gourmet. What do you think of keeping your significant other offline, off social media?

My significant other can do whatever the hell he wants to do. That's his domain. I don't. I don't get to tell him what to do. We don't. We don't tell men what to do. We get to share with them how we experience their actions, behaviors, and communication. That's it. He gets to do whatever he wants to do. Yeah.

Salonina, can you talk about love bombing and red flags? Love bombing is about the extreme. So I always say pet names. If that's. That's happening early, it's a. No, it's a. It's, you know, Bombs. Love bombs over Baghdad, girl. If he is talking about trying to do something, like, long in the future. Love bomb over Baghdad, honey. If he's saying, like, it's December 9th, he says, I want to take you to Paris this summer, boy. I just met you. Like, this is the second date. Don't do that. That's love bombing. If he's over complimenting you, oh, my God. You're the most beautiful woman in this world. Really? Everything that I touch turns to gold, really. You know how it is. And especially those Nigerian men, they will really put it on thick. So, like, part of their courted culture is love bombing. So that's why oftentimes you'll get sucked in with a Nigerian because.

You'Ll be like, oh, my God, he's so romantic. He's doing everything that I've ever dreamed of. Flip of a switch, girl. Love bombing, girl. Part of the culture. I mean, that's why they have all that oil in Nigeria, honey. Fuel the bombs. The love bombs, girl.

Okay, maybe I need to.

Miniboss said, where do I get vanilla, baby? Probably 31 flavors, girl. That's where I got mine.

Exo said, you and Ms. Sprinkle are my World. I know that's right. Girl Poetry teacher. Thank you so much for the big love.

Let me see what else is going on. Taki Said, hi from Germany. Hello. Liba B. Gates.

Married to the mindset. How do you find being a father?

That and partnership have been my biggest growth journeys and opportunities. It is karma. I see my mouth and I hear my mouth and I experience the mouth that I've given all these men and all these people in my life because I've given people the business my entire life. And girl, guess what? I get it back threefold. Yeah. I think in the, you know, in the church they talk about tenfold grow. I'm getting my mouth back to me threefold every day. So it has helped me learn how to regulate my emotions, how to keep my center, keep my peace. But it's truly a blessing because I know that there are people out there that would love to be in my position and I've learned.

So much about myself.

K Sharie said. Question coach, when are we turning the apps back on? I've been incognito for a month, girl. Tomorrow, girl.

Eve it up, honey. Eve it up.

Wendy said, biracial twins. My, my twins are half black, half Indian.

You know, it's a whole crazy story, but basically I found a surrogate in India when it was legal back then.

Found a surrogate, had my babies with, flew across the world first to do the deposit, then to pick them up, bring them back to America, honey.

Karina said boyfriend had a deep conversation with mom, said he has to save for our future. Do you think that means a ring? It can mean a variety of different things. Girl, girl, girl. It could mean going to the olive Garden for all I care. Don't think about it. Stay in the present moment. A lot of smart and successful women are so future focused that they like forget to just be in the present moment. How long have you been with your boyfriend? Karina.

T. Said, would you recommend dating men with children?

Yeah, a lot of women don't want to do that because they don't want to feel like a second fiddle because they've done that their entire life right through the way that they.

You know, have grown up, unfortunately. So I get that. 5 Little bird says, what is your opinion of Chuck drivers as partners?

I think that they are great partners for the different women that they have in different cities that they stop off, girl. Not only are they dropping off their cargo, girl, they're dropping off other things.

They're little creatures.

Yeah. I think that they are notorious for having multiple Families, you want to be careful. I'm someone who needs a lot of attention and quality time, and truck drivers would never give that to me. So if you're someone that's like that, don't play that game, girl. If you want to do a pen pal, girl, you could literally, like, you know, sponsor a child in Africa and pen pal with them. You don't need a truck driver for that.

Elitist said, ladies, date with your intuition. It never lies. Here's the gag. And this is why I'm a dating coach for. For black and brown women. Most of us are emotionally stunted and detached from our feelings and therefore our intuition. And so my job is to help my clients really connect with their feelings and know. Because in a relationship, your job is just to know how you're feeling at all times and then communicate that with your partner. And he's supposed it all happen and make it all good. Yeah.

So that's the tea. That's the tea on that. Get into these old headboards at my mom's house, honey. Live, honey.

Straight wood, girl.

Good. John said, how should I politely suggest to a man, I'd rather talk on the phone than then text. Here's what you do, girl. Here's a little cute, cute tea. So let's say he gives you that lame ass good morning text. Just be like, oh, my God, I'm so busy right now. Call me, call me later tonight at seven.

That's it.

And then he'll call you tonight at seven. Anytime he texts you, just be like, oh, my God, I'm so busy. Just call me. Call me at 7, okay? And go from there.

Sarah said, oh, my gosh.

I'm currently communicating with a retired army man.

Well, if he's been out of the army for a while, it's like, you know, a guy out of prison for 10 years, 20 years, girl. He's probably gotten all that mess out of his system. Lola said, you need to do a whole session on Military Men Grow. I've done many sessions with many military men, girl, so I guess I can do one more for y'.

All.

Tiff said, we had one date and he complains because I have a busy schedule. He always tries to schedule dates last minute. Just let him know I'm gonna need two to three days in advance because my schedule is so busy. If that's something that doesn't feel good for you, I totally respect that and I want to wish you the best of luck.

The girls are saying the girls aren't dropping babies anymore because of all the stress in life. I know that's wrong. Sucks girl.

Chrissy said, girl, we can't even afford to get pregnant. Girl, I know that's right and wrong at the same time.

Kiara said, exclusive with this guy and he's not my type. He's a seven physically but emotionally intent grow lottery. That's husband material right there, honey. Husband material. Here's the thing. You want a physical 7 and emotional 10. Because if you had 10 physical and 7 emotional girl, he's going to cheat on you and he's going to think that he's better than you.

And you.

Won'T feel, you won't ever feel safe with him because he doesn't care about your feelings. You've hit the jackpot. This is, this is the, this is the calculus that you want.

Sha said, I need you to be my love guru. Not guru girl. I'm just a regular degular girl doing the best that I can for God in my country.

Some of these people act like they're better than you. Honey, I'm literate.

Girl, I.

Girl, I've done much more mess than you have.

I've been on these abs since I.

Was 16 years old. I've been messy, traveling across the world for men, doing crazy messy stuff with men. This is why I do it.