Dating Your Dream Guy vs

Girl the reason why dating is so hard for many women out there is because most women are trying to date their dream guy versus dating their future husband. And the gag is that those two men are completely different men. Now, if you think about the movie Beauty and the Beast, when the Beast turns into a human, Belle is not living for the human the way that she was living for that beast, honey. Right. That beast was giving sensitive yet rough. And that human was looking fragile and angelic, and it just, it felt like a downgrade. So I'm going to explain why that is the case so that we can start dating differently. Girl so this is the bad boy nice guy matrix. It was inspired by this account called Ho Mask. So follow it because it's a great account. But I want to go over what this looks like and how you can navigate it differently. So for someone who is, let's say lower left hand, low bad boy, low nice guy, you're not going to give him the time of day. So he's a lame, he's a loser. And let's, let's keep it moving. A guy that is a mid nice guy, but a low bad boy, he's a nice guy. He's someone that you will put in the friend zone. And then a guy that is high nice guy, low bad boy, you're going to consider him your brother. He's going to treat you like a queen, but there's going to be nothing there. And so you're just going to kind of move on. Now, the second column is all about mid bad boy. So if you're a mid bad boy and you have a low nice guy, you're a creep. And we're not going to engage with the creeps. At least I hope we don't. Now, if you're a mid bad boy but also a mid nice guy, you're going to feel like you're sad meddling with that guy because there's a little something there, but it's not enough. So you're always going to feel like the grass is always greener. Now, if he's a mid bad boy but a high nice guy, I'm letting you know that that's your husband. That is the guy that you need to engage with. That is what I call an Alphabet man. Has the alpha traits, but also a bit of the beta traits, has the strong masculine traits, but also has the nice can hold space for you respectful of boundary traits, which are very important for a husband. Now let's look at the third column. Now this is high bad boy. So if you're a high bad boy, low nice guy, you're a bad guy. Nothing good is going to come of this. He's going to hurt your feelings. He doesn't care about your thoughts, your feelings or anything. Now if this guy is a high bad boy, but mid nice guy, you're probably going to fall into a situationship with him because there are parts of him that are really nice. But also the crumbs that he's giving you and the juxtaposition between the nice and the mean keep you on a roller coaster and keep you addicted. And that's why you're in situationships. The red areas are the areas where the toxic and narcissistic guys live. And this is where I want you to not be. But for many women who have had very traumatic lived experiences, and women of color, specifically black women, you will lean into this red area because of the alpha, because of the protection, because you feel like you need the safety. But unfortunately, these guys can't really make you feel fully safe. In our lived experiences, in our trauma, what will happen is we will over index in the physical safety and not in the emotional safety. And you think that that will drive to hi bad boy. Hi nice guy. Which is dream guy. That isn't your dream guy. Girl, I'm saying all of this to say your dream guy, your type is not your type. And if you want to learn how to date for your husband, definitely book a call with me. I hope this helps.